Leah on the Line - 94: Do I tell her she's been cheated on & my boyfriend's mum HATES me!

Episode Date: December 5, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's in it for me? I help 15 girls believe in themselves. I'm a guider, and it's worth my time. Create a space where girls can just be. Volunteer as a guider at girlguides.ca slash volunteer. It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello, hi everyone! Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday! Happy Tuesday everybody! How are you?

I just need to get this off my chest it is like the baltic sea in my house it is so cold guys i've got pajamas on in the middle of the day can i just say a dressing gown a fan heater facing me right now my dog is literally a hot water bottle on my lap who is also wrapped up and covered in my dressing gum because she's a cold little babe honestly what the hell is going on out there and it's pissing down with rain and i guess if it was a little bit colder that would be snow is that what snow is like frozen rain where it's so cold oh my god i saw something the other day it was like a really really close up like 5000 hp hd I mean camera and oh my goodness it was a snowflake melting up close it was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen I didn't realize a snowflake genuinely looks like that like how they look in a drawing I knew they had that shape but all these

amazing beautiful details if you have a minute now and you're curious go on TikTok and search like close-up snowflake or something melting whatever it's absolutely beautiful it is so stunning I was like wow and that just falls out of the sky something that perfect it's just crazy isn't it anyway how are you guys hope you're feeling really good to my australian listeners how does it feel to have my dream it's so hot there isn't it hey yeah rub it in rub it in where are you guys from in australia whereabouts do you guys say whereabouts is that thing do you know what is a thing down where I'm from, what people say that a lot of people find confusing

is we say where to. So you'd be like, oh, I went out on Saturday night and you'd go, oh, where to? Rather than just where. Do you know what I mean? Or you'd say like, oh, where are you to? Rather than where are you? You'd say, where are you to?

And I remember I was in Pizza Hut once as a kid and the waitress was from London and so she's connecting with my mum and that because obviously Cockney meets Cockney it's like oh where you from yeah anyway and then she was like do you know what's really weird what you guys say it's you say where you two and she said somebody said to her where did you get your hair cut to where'd you get your hair cut to and she pointed to the length of it and was like about there and we was cracking up I was like oh I know she means what hairdressers babe but yeah it's so funny I always remember that such a weird memory that I hold on to but isn't that a random thing because there is no need for the two you could just say where are

you rather than where are you two all right babe where are you two like your rings are all right babe where are you two weird isn't it anyway what are some unusual sayings that you guys have in your areas? Because isn't it funny? Is it so random that like people just because we're from different parts of the world or even different parts of one country, we sound so different. Like, I don't know who it was. I think it was someone on TV, and they were Australian, and they said that in Australia, like, you don't really have accents, not really, like, nothing major, and I thought, God, it's so crazy, because you can go, in England, you can go right down where I'm from, and everyone talks like that, like, rape me, lover, rape me,

and then you can literally go three hours up the road, it's like, and then you go three hours up the road it's like all right gaze all right geyser you're a geyser and then you go three hours up the road from then it's like hiya bib hiya bib you're okay you're okay like and it's so weird isn't it and then you can go an hour from there and it's it's different but it's slightly the same and then you've got the midlands which is a major head fuck because you're southern and northern you guys are crazy with that accent you say like fuck what the fuck what the fuck do you know what i mean no like nottingham area and then you've got brummie which is a whole another kettle of fish like it's just so funny isn't it then you go right up and you got scotland

which turns out i'm scottish as we all know crazy hello i'm miss holly that's all i can say and it's not even that great what's the story in balamore today today today oh i'd love to be good at that but i'm not i'd love to be good at irish as well but again all i can say is i like bacon and stuff working with flyer yeah i enjoy saying that all right guys so this episode's just the usual choose babes you know what i mean the weekly debate is again inspired by a dilemma we love it we love to see it so i hope you guys are all feeling good today thank you so much for tuning in joining me on this gorgeous tuesday or whatever day it is that you're listening to this if you're just catching up don't worry about it you listen in your own time baby all right let's get into the episode thank you so much for

listening to leah on the line head to leah on theeline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, I literally just got a text from my therapy company thing saying that I have to fill out a questionnaire because I've got my first

appointment tomorrow help and i had to fill out this form it's like on a scale of one to ten zero to ten like how often do you feel this how often it's like how often do you find it difficult to control your fear or worries uh ten darling ten it's not easy 10 how often do you struggle to fall asleep uh 10 every fucking night oh i'll let you guys know how that goes i am looking forward to that because i know i i really will benefit from it and i'm such a talker like i love to just lay off all my issues you know like i love to let things out i really enjoy it like I don't know why I enjoy it when I had therapy at uni she was literally like my favorite person I was like I can't wait to see you on Wednesday girl really looking forward to it hopefully we have a good cry not you me but

yeah it's so fun I just love I loved therapy I'm really looking forward to it again I think because I'm so desperate for a bit of control again, where I feel like I've lost that control over the health anxiety. I feel like you come on, come on, girl, we're going to get this control back. And I know that this is that step, you know, so I'm really actually looking forward to it for that reason. But I'll keep you guys all involved with my process. And I will obviously anything that I pick up any tips and tricks for managing health anxiety or just anxiety in general I will obviously pass them on okay so that was a complete side note so anyway the weekly debate

this week everybody I hope you guys are ready my question for you today is is it a deal breaker if you really don't like your partner's parents so we've done you know if they don't like you or if you don't like if your parents don't like them but what about if if you don't if they don't like you god i really struggled there didn't i what if they just really don't fucking like you you know like what what's wrong with me so let's have a little look because for me, that would be hell. That would honestly be hell. I couldn't deal with my boyfriend's parents not liking me. I can't even deal with a stranger having a big problem with me, let alone my boyfriend's parents. Somebody says, if you want a future with that person yeah yeah it

definitely is a deal breaker no you can definitely get over it it would cause massive issues if we were to have kids oh i didn't think about that i actually didn't so it's such a good point now it's tricky but as long as it doesn't make things hard for your partner it can still work yeah that's a great point like how involved are the parents you know do you live with these parents how often are they in my company are they pulling you away from me are they trying to jeopardize our relationship because they don't like me you know how deep is this it's not a deal breaker but it can make things difficult when they're such a big part of their life um my ex's mum hated me she even threatened to punch me in the face it's safe

to say i'm not with him anymore oh sorry imagine someone threatening to punch you in the face i just don't think i could cope with anyone threatening to punch me in the face i'm really not a fighter i'm such a lover like if somebody ever said to me I'm gonna punch you in the face I would be so scared I'm literally not even joking I would be terrified oh god I'm dead I wouldn't even fight back oh god and let alone your boyfriend's mum I'm gonna punch you in the face if you carry on mate oh please don't what the hell someone says no i'm not dating them then right yeah i'm not dating them then all right my ex's parents were nasty oh dear yes and vice versa my ex-boyfriend's mom hated me and made my life hell

oh that's the thing like it's one thing just you're not their favorite person but are they like going out of their way to make your relationship difficult are they making you feel shit are they isolating you are they insulting you are they you, how deep can it be? I don't think it's fair as they can't help who their parents are. Yeah. Yeah, I get you. That's the thing. That is the thing. But at the same time, it's not that you'd end it because it's their fault.

I'm not saying it's your fault who your parents are. But at the end of the day, it just means we can't work sometimes you know that's a tricky one no as long as they also are not really close with them my mum hates my dad's parents but so does he so it's not a problem well okay um no as i hope it wouldn't be if he didn't like mine is our life not theirs yeah that is you know it's true so i personally i don't know if it's as easy as to just say yes or no about it being a deal breaker because i do agree with a lot of you guys and there are some certain terms and conditions to this but i feel like if we were you know say your parents live down the road or we see your parents a lot and they are making me feel really shit like they do not like me they are not nice to me they slag me

off to you you know if it's a you know we don't fucking like you energy i don't want that around me i don't want to live like that. And obviously for a while, you're going to try and get to the bottom of it. You're going to try and turn things around. You know, I'm a nice person. My intentions are purely good. Let's see if we can patch things up. But if it's to the point where it's like, it's not even me, it's nothing to do with what I've done. They just don't fucking like me. I don't know if I could stay. I really don't because I don't want to live like that. You like me I don't know if I could stay I really don't because I don't want to live like that you know I don't want to live my life like that it's miserable I

don't want to feel like oh fuck's sake his fucking mum's coming around but at the same time like especially as you get older like you you know like one of you said you have kids and you know if if that's what you want you have your own families again if that's what you want so it's almost like how often are they actually going to be around if they're very present you know that's going to be a problem but if if you only see them a few times a year maybe then you can probably live with that so yeah I do agree with a lot of you guys I think it's situational and it's not their fault and there are things you can do to try and move past it get them to understand you get them to like you maybe you just got off on the wrong foot but if it is just to the point where nah there's no fixing this

then if i can like you that's tough that's really tough okay guys oh i just hit my dog sorry missy sorry baby ew i've done that before haven't i where I do my dog voice on the podcast gives me the ick all right guys let's get into some dilemmas okay guys thank you so much to everyone that sent in a response to the weekly debate by the way okay I'm gonna start with this dilemma it's intense do i tell his girlfriend he's a serial cheater okay hey babes hey babe so long story short i was seeing this boy for the whole of last year but virtually no one knew and we kept it a massive secret because he is my ex-boyfriend's best friend anyway he then got a girlfriend which he didn't tell me about until four months after they got together so he was technically cheating on her for that whole time he's actually known to have cheated on all

of his girlfriends i threatened to tell her but he said no it's best coming from him apparently he told her and she said she forgave him and they'd work through it defo bullshit he didn't tell her anything really okay fuck okay i didn't speak to this boy for a while because i just thought everything he did and was doing was disgusting and i didn't need those negative vibes in my life hun do you know what i mean so we cut him off yeah absolutely fast forward to two weeks ago and we bump into each other on a night out we talk things through and end up being civil with each other i wake up at 4 a.m on a saturday morning for a wee and i look at my phone six missed calls from him and three whatsapp messages

i'm like what the fuck so i text him asking if he was okay and he replied yeah all good can i get a cab to yours uh no fuck right off how about that i obviously said no and he goes on asking me asking to see me not taking no for an answer so i end up blocking him good for you i wake up the next morning to go on instagram and see he's with his girlfriend laying in bed together so he must have rung her after I said no to him coming to mine he's just vile but my question is do I tell her or do I stay out of this because if all this comes out I'm gonna have an angry girlfriend on my hands and an angry ex-boyfriend because obviously it's his best all about help please okay this is difficult because do you prioritize the poor girlfriend here who does deserve to know or do you prioritize yourself in the sense of you don't want no trouble you don't want no drama you know this could always backfire because it's happened you know that you

send the hate girly message and they hate you do you know what i mean it does happen so i'm stuck here on what is the right thing to do so let's weigh up our options realistically you and this ex-boyfriend situation and how it's his best friend you're not seeing this guy anymore you've seen him for a bit and you're not anymore it's in the past right so the worst thing that your boy ex-boyfriend sorry could feel is pissed off and betrayed by his best friend because as an ex you're not getting back together you know you don't have loyalties blah blah blah obviously it's a respect thing obviously everyone would hate that if your ex got with your friend but i think that's more on him and clearly he's not really that much of a decent bloke because he's he's dogging his friends and he's dogging his girlfriend so it ain't great but realistically this girl does deserve to know and listen she might already know she might know

he might have told her that night but we don't know we will never know so it's it's a tough one because to be honest i kind of want to say just leave it and just stay out of it he's blocked now and reason realistically he's probably going to cheat on her again with somebody else because you've said he's a serial cheater he's cheated on all of his girlfriends he just can't help himself clearly he clearly doesn't have a moral compass is that the right saying i don't know but either way it's highly likely that he's going to cheat again and i think we leave it up to the next girl to deliver that message because she doesn't have so much weight she doesn't have the ex-boyfriend's best friend situation you know so i kind of feel like let's step away. Let's block. Let's ignore it.

Let's stay the fuck away. Stay the fuck out of it and leave it to the next girl because it sounds like there probably will be another girl that he cheats on her with to come and tell the girlfriend what's going on. And, you know, then at least she hears the truth and your ex-boyfriend doesn't get hurt. You don't have to be involved in it it's a really really great option i feel but it does mean that she is staying in a relationship with somebody that she has no idea what he's really like as far as we're aware she may be aware we don't know but your other option is to just be like you know what my ex is going to be pissed off but he'll just have to get over it and this girl deserves to know the truth this guy's a piece of shit and he doesn't deserve her so I'm going to

be the one to deliver the message and I wouldn't blame you for doing that either I honestly wouldn't blame you for doing it either so there are the two things I think you could do you know and also be careful be careful on how you send these messages because they come across quite passive don't they hey babe i i hate to be the one to tell you this like i just find that word and quite passive so i think the best way to do it is just to be like hey girl do you have two minutes to jump on a phone call or blah blah blah i just there's something i just really need to talk to you about no one's gonna want to like to receive that it is hell you know can i talk to you i need to tell you something it's about david do you know what i mean no no no no please lord no no one wants to

read it but she does deserve to know and hopefully if you say it over the phone it seems a bit more heart full that's not the word is it what is the word it just seems more sensitive and more kind I think you know like hey like I know we don't know each other and this is so random but I haven't actually been able to relax knowing that you don't know this and I wouldn't be able to just move past it without letting you know I feel like girl to girl you have the right to know and please don't feel like I'm judging you don't feel like I'm enjoying this you know I'm saying this because if I was in your position I'd want to know I'm a girl's girl for and through and this is what happened do with it what you will to you it might not be a big deal that's fine but you know I felt it just felt right to tell you you know and it didn't go any further than that, you know.

So, yeah, that's the options, babe. Let me know what you decide to do. But I support you all the way. OK, love you. Next time. What's in it for me? I help 15 girls believe in themselves. I'm a guider and it's worth my time create a space where girls can just be volunteer as a guider at girlguides.ca volunteer ah okay hello Leah I only recently discovered your podcast and I already love it I always look forward to new episodes oh yay we have a new bestie everybody welcome we love you I have a dilemma for you it welcome we love you i have a dilemma

for you it's going to be a slightly longer explanation my boyfriend and i have been together for two and a half years about a year ago we had a major crisis in our relationship my boyfriend is a musician and was involved in a project at the time it lasted very few weeks oh sorry what where did i get very from it lasted a few weeks and Oh, sorry. What? Where did I get very from? It lasted a few weeks and we saw each other very rarely. My boyfriend is a very emotional person. And when this project was over, he became kind of sentimental, I guess. On the last evening after the highlight of the project, he went out drinking and partying with other people from that project. I only learned sometime later what had happened he had an affair with the other woman during that time and especially that last night oh so it wasn't even on the end of show night it was

throughout the whole fucking show brilliant they didn't have sex but they made out not just a little oh no when i found out I wanted to break up, but since he was very sorry and promised to never do it again, I gave our relationship a second chance. As said, it is already a year ago, but it still bothers me very much. I just don't trust him anymore. And I'm always afraid if he has similar projects and occasions again. And as a musician, he often has that otherwise our relationship is going really well and i really love him but i just feel reminded of it over and over again and i feel really bad in situations like this where he's gone i'm really scared that he's going to cheat on me

again do you have any tips or recommendations for me very kind regards oh it's very very um formal i like it i love you le, well, that's so like romantic. I love you, Leah. I love you. I love you, girl. I love that. Okay. So, oh, that's fucked. That is pretty fucked. All right. I feel like in these situations, do you know what? Something just like hit me in the brain. Like, who do I think I am thinking I can give people advice? Like, I just find that actually kind of funny. I've just, I've just, something's just like hit me in the head and I'm like, the way I'm like, right, okay, let's see what we've got here. Expert. Like, whoa. I guess it's just bestie to bestie, isn't it? Nothing professional about it. Okay. So anyway, I feel like, listen, I grew up doing musical shows and let me tell you,

these relationships in shows, they happen in every show. I have never done a show where I'm not with someone or somebody else ain't with someone. For some reason, I think it's the closeness, the intensity of your schedules, your rehearsals, your close, your, you know, consumed with each other. It just happens all the time. So I can really understand your stress. And to be honest honest I can see how that happens with him because I've seen it happen a million times so I really empathize with how that must feel to be the girlfriend because it's really hard now don't get me wrong they are there are so many people in the musical industry I know he's not musical theater but he's a musician but it's kind of

similar there are so many people in that same industry who won't go and cheat on their partner and who don't get emotionally and romantically involved with people. And I am just hoping for you that it was a one time situation and he was genuinely, genuinely sorry. Because as you guys know, I don't believe in once a cheater, always a cheater. You have made the decision to forgive him. It's been a year. always a cheater you have made the decision to forgive him it's been a year so you know you're stuck with that decision and you've been together well I don't know it's been a year since the cheating situation but I I don't feel like you'd be wrong to come to him and say look I know it's been a year but it turns out time isn't all I needed to heal these trust issues. I feel, still, I feel hurt and still I don't trust you. And I'm going to need you to work with me here.

I'm going to need your hard work. You have things to prove. Yeah, it's been a year, but I obviously, we obviously haven't put in the work that you, that I needed you to put in to gain my trust because we're not there yet. And listen, you might not ever be there. This is a possibility. You may never be able to trust him again. That could be fucked forever. And that's when you have to decide if this is a relationship you want to stay in where you fully cannot trust him. But I would say to him, we need to try harder to gain that trust because it's been a year and I'm still not there. You need to try harder to gain that trust because it's been a year and I'm still not there you need to try harder you need to do more for me to get my trust back because

it's not there I still don't trust you I need you to do more I don't know what that is I don't know what it is but I need you to do more and make me feel more you know and then if you've tried everything and you still can't get past it and you still don't trust him that's not a way to live your life you don't deserve to be sat at home while he's doing shows or sorry projects and be worried about the cheating and all of that shit you don't deserve that and you absolutely have the right to walk away if you've decided you know what i gave you a long time after and i still wasn't able to move forward from it it's time to close the book do you know what I mean but just keep just try a bit harder before

because you want you want to be with him you want to trust him so I think you need to communicate that that is what you want and tell him what you need from him have a little think what that what that might look like what that might be what would make you feel more secure, you know? All right. I love you. Good luck. Okay. Next dilemma.

Hey, gorgeous girl. Love you and the pod. Love you. Have been a listener since the very first episode. Oh my God. You're my Spotify wrapped number one podcast for the second year in a row. Woo-hoo.

Love it. Yes, girl. I have a bit of a dilemma why did I say it like that a dilemma and I'm hoping you may be able to give me some advice please bear with me it's as it's a little bit of a long one I'm currently writing this from the hotel room sat next to my dilemma okay wows oh I can't breathe for some reason just for a bit of context i'm 25 i have a very stable job and i'm very happy in life fucking big slay i've been single for five years now and i feel ready to settle down and find my person since i've been able to really enjoy my 20s love it what a place to be i started dating this guy in september let's call him steven everything with steven was going smoothly up until about a week ago the dates we went on were amazing we laughed

all the way through discussed life how we wanted the same things marriage children etc and it was all plain sailing why can't i breathe why can't i breathe sorry it was all plain sailing treats me like an absolute princess opens doors for me won't let me drive pays for a lot of our dates i pay my share too as i like to keep it equal whenever we would conclude a date he would book in another one he's in the same line of work as me too police okay you don't you do not have to say anything but it may harm your defense if you do not mention when questioned some of you later rely on in court and if you do say may be given in evidence do you understand yeah you like that didn't you you actually like that in it so he understands how

demanding the shifts and challenges to talk can be can be which is a huge green flag for me oh yeah i love that i love that just over a week ago on a tuesday i saw him the date went well came to an end and we said goodbye however there was no mention of when i'd see him again bearing in mind we did have winter wonderland booked for the following friday a few days passed and we'd been chatting as usual but there was no mention of when we'd see each other next so i just assumed it would be for winter wonderland okay i sent a message asking when i'd see him and whether it be before winter wonderland and his response was don't know maybe i'll make you wait i'm sorry what

is what is with these fucking children like you're an adult like a grown man like you you work in the police like you're a grown man how are you telling me and then maybe i'll make you wait no no you won't because i won't wait how about that babe how about make a fucking decision or lose your chance yeah he messaged me on the sunday and i'm sorry which i thought was a bit weird but left it at that he messaged me on on the Sunday afternoon asking if I wanted to do something. I said yes as I was free. Do you know what you should have said? You should have said, I don't know, maybe I'll make you wait.

That's what I would have done. It was my last day of annual leave, so I said I wanted to go out and do something. He was a little fussy about that and said he didn't want to be out long. Oh my God, literally. But either way, he picked me up up we were out for a couple hours bowling and overall the date went well steven had a work night out in place for tuesday i was changing from day shift to the night shift that day so i said to him if he needed to pick it up then i'd be more more than happy to he said he'd be really grateful if i could do that tuesday came silence no message for over seven hours until

he popped up out of the blue saying he'd gone to top golf and it overran overran a little too long so he's turned into a little bit of a flake okay he was then going out for drinks when again silence at 2 30 i received a message from steven saying still up question mark oh classic innit i was in bed at this point as i couldn't be bothered to even pick him up as he couldn't be bothered to communicate with me all day so i just went to sleep and messaged him the next day saying i went to bed as i'd heard nothing from him then comes thursday we arranged a last minute date to go to the gym however we go to separate gyms and he wanted to try out the gym i go to why did i add the word however that's not even there

ignore the however i met him there and from the minute i was there until the minute i left he was moaning and whining about how the gym was different to his and how the equipment wasn't good. Oh my god, fucking cheer up. Miserable little twat. Then to top it off, he had a go at me because he didn't bring his swim stuff to use the sauna and gaslit me into believing we didn't have a conversation about it prior to the day. We did and I showed him the receipts. Okay, what a little weirdo. Again, I ignored this as our booking for winter wonderland was the next day

and we had a nice two night away in london planned now come to yesterday i meet him at the train station and not one word was uttered to me until we got on the train what you meet at the train station you walk towards each other and you're like, hey. And he's just like. That's bizarre. Isn't that bizarre? Okay. He then proceeded to then ask how much the hotel costs. And when I tell him, he tells me it's too expensive and would rather only pay for one night as it's cheaper on the hotel website.

Well, obviously one night is cheaper. Oh, yeah. And then you said, of course, one night's cheaper oh yeah and then you said of course one night's cheaper weirdo i said to him if he wants to do that then fine but we'd have to ask the hotel when we got there we get to the hotel asked to change to one night instead of two and he got funny at me in the lobby asking well what about the second night pardon this was literally your idea you literally wanted to change it to one night has this delusional guy just forgot about the conversation we had where he wanted to change to one night no i'm actually concerned like he has maybe he's got a memory situation because he forgot his swimming shorts and pretended he didn't have that conversation and now he's forgot about the conversation on the train you know this could not be a joke here whatever we checked in i paid to

the hotel room with not even an offer from him that's a few hundred quid as well fucking hell we went off to winter wonderland and again nothing was uttered the entire night i had paid for winter wonderland and all the attractions too girl that ain't cheap oh my god a few hours in i said to him that he's not very talkative and he blamed it all on me shock saying that he isn't talkative because i wasn't oh fuck off seriously okay the rest of the evening went well we went back to the hotel room and went to sleep just fine things have been fine this morning too since we woke up oh oh we are fresh in the fresh in the morning after yesterday okay i'm just confused at his behavior i don't know if any of this makes sense but am i going mad and seeing weird things that aren't there or am i validated for being

super confused my dilemma is we have things booked all the way up until march and right now i don't even really want to see him again are these valid reasons to cut to cut it off and if so how would i even go about doing it any advice would be helpful love you okay love you i feel like well sorry i didn't mean to shout i feel like it's just got to a point where you're not enjoying his company. And by the fucking sounds of it, you ain't enjoying yours. And for that reason, I would just not bother. Like, I would just be like, you're fucking, you got weird vibes. Like, you're chatting shit.

You've changed up real fucking quick. Like, we have to pay attention to these things. We do not ignore them. Okay? Because people can only hold up an act for so long and trust me normally it's a bit longer normally some people can hold up an act for about six months you know sometimes longer and then the cracks start to show but it feels like there could have been a bit of that false you know it could have just been a bit fake at the beginning but personally

I feel like we pay attention to the person that people show you and we this is where we make excuses for these red flags because they are red flags like what are you going to be like in a relationship you're just going to be a flaky and cold and ignore me and not actually talk to me and then gaslight me and tell me you said something that you never said and tell me you never said something that you did say. And then now what? I've got to pay for everything now. Like don't ignore these things. When somebody shows you who they are, believe them. Trust me. So for me, I would just stop bothering. Yeah, he might change up. He might come back with an explanation of what's been going on. Maybe he's been going through something, but don't make excuses for him. If there is a reason, let him come to you with that reason but for me i would just

okay you know what i'm not actually enjoying your company it's literally as minimal and simple as that i'm not enjoying this company so i'm gonna stop bothering with these dates i'm not just gonna make excuses for it if you've not been very nice and you've not been consistent and you're now being flaky and weird like weird fucking vibes that's fine I can I can see what I'm seeing and I can take that information and I can decide actually I'm not enjoying your company so I'm not going to put myself in it anymore you know and I I believe that that is what you should do personally and you know it's not that deep i would do it now before you genuinely have deep deep rooted feelings because then it's it's

so much easier to make excuses for people's behavior when you have strong feelings for them i think one thing we all need to learn is when somebody shows you who they are early days when they show you when they show you red flags early days ask yourself who is this going to be as a boyfriend or yourself, who is this going to be as a boyfriend or girlfriend? Who are you going to be as a boyfriend now that I'm seeing this behavior? You know, not very, not very good one. I'm clearly not going to feel good in a relationship with you. So I'm going to take this information. I'm going to process it. I'm going to acknowledge it. I'm going to accept it. And I'm going to let go, you know, because you deserve better. You deserve to feel better around somebody that you're dating. It should just be fun. It should be easy, you know. I love you so much. Okay, guys, thank you so much for sending in your episodes. I mean,

dilemmas for this episode. Let's wrap up the episode. Okay, everybody. Do you know what? I've been singing singing today like belting out and i haven't sung in ages i kind of miss it you know i loved it so all right guys thank you so much for listening to this episode if you have if you have stayed here for the outro i love you i appreciate you so much you're absolutely the best people ever remember to follow leah on the line and leah levain on instagram follow me on tiktok leave a five star rating and review if you if you have time i'd really appreciate it i can't get out of this accent now i'm kind of stuck but yeah oh my god guys christmas is approaching i'm so excited

i'm so ready i'm so excited i'm also going to winter wonderland i think on the 20th so if anyone's going to winter wonderland on the 20th i'll see you there babe oh i'm so excited oh i just love it i'm here for the churros i'm here for the hot dogs i'm here to spend all my money like you spend about 20 quid on a game to win a prize that costs about 2p it's worth every penny it's worth every penny all right guys i love you so so much send in any friday episode ideas tell me when you want the christmas special if we were thinking pretty soon if you want it near to christmas let me know send in your dilemmas to leahontheline.com do it now if you're going through something quickly send it to me now i got you i got you

all right guys have the best week and i'll speak to you on friday for a brand new episode all right i love you What's in it for me? I help 15 girls believe in themselves. I'm a guider and it's worth my time. Create a space where girls can just be volunteer as a guider and it's worth my time create a space where girls can just be volunteer as a guider at girlguides.ca slash volunteer