Leah on the Line - 98: He proposed to me but BANNED me from discussing a wedding & my work bestie told our manager LIES!

Episode Date: January 9, 2024

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Go back to school with Rogers and get Canada's fastest and most reliable internet. Perfect for streaming lectures all day or binging TV shows all night. Save up to $20 per month on Rogers Internet. Visit rogers.com for details. We got you. Rogers. It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Tuesday. Happy Tuesday, everybody. How are you guys? How is it? How's your weekend been? How was your Monday?

Oh my god. Guys, fuck. Guys, I'm so late to the trend, to the hype, whatever it is, right? I spoke previously in the previous episode about a book series or just book that I want to get into I said what I'm interested in reading the things that really grip me you know I said I love that bad boy giving what pad sort of book okay you fucking legends have pulled it out of the bag. I'm so late on this hype, but I am reading the After Series by Anna Todd, right? There are now movies of these books, which I have not seen, thank God, because oh my God, guys, I'm halfway through the book. I started two days ago, I'm halfway. I want so desperately to just talk about it and talk about it. But if you haven't read them, I don't want to ruin it. And I want you to read them. I really want you to go and read them.

Let me try and sum it up and sell it to you. It's giving, it's giving sex, it's giving drama, teen um movie right so like um what's a good example kind of like twilight but not science fiction and kind of riverdale kind of riverdale but not again science fiction or thriller but fuck it is so i have cried tears i cried real tears i've never cried real tears at a book before and i'm gone i'm going oh when i'm reading i'm and jamie now jamie's going what what and now i'm like telling him what's going on in this book i'm like right so basically you know last time i told you I told you about Hardin and how he's done this to blah blah blah and then Noah blah blah and then he's like no don't tell me this happened and I'll go worse and he's like oh my god stop tell me and now I'm telling him everything right and now when I'm laying in bed next to him reading and I'll go he goes what or are we there next one i'll go he's like what so honestly it's so good

honestly thank you to all of you because i read a message from one of you saying you need to try this book series it sounds like a proper bit of you like it was originally a harry styles fanfic and i was like sold sold fanfic I'm sold I know these kind of fanfics I know they're filthy and they're silly and they're crazy and they're just really unrealistic and I just fucking love them and I'm here for it I'm sold right so I literally went straight on Amazon and I saw that it was like 60 something percent off for all five books so I just thought fuck it I'm gonna order them and then I posted on my story saying, by the way, guys, like this is the ones that I've gone for literally first DM that I read about any book recommendations. I just

thought, fuck it, I'll go for it. I cannot tell you. I was inundated with messages from people saying, Leah, you are going to fucking love these books. And are so good guys i know i'm really annoying right now i just can't explain to you how life-changing it is when you are this gripped like i can't stop thinking about it i'm or i already miss these characters when the book ends although i'm so excited tell me if to everyone that's read the books and seen the films tell me if I'm safe to do this I'm thinking I'm gonna read book one watch movie one read book two watch movie two you know tell me if that's okay I don't want is the movie gonna ruin anything about the second book you know how should I do it should I read all the books then watch all the films I don't know if I can wait I need a face to these characters i have actually googled who plays the certain characters i'm like noah in in the movies i like i want to see this

noah like he sounds like a little dweeb like i want to see and like even the main character i'm like i can't picture this main character like i really need to see her and i was so curious who's playing who was originally harry styles i'm like who's playing Harry Harden should I say also I I like how it's Harden Scott obviously Harry Styles smart I like it but yeah honestly I highly recommend if you are into a book like I described and you haven't already read it by the way I feel like I probably have lived under a rock to have not read it after I literally the years that these books came out I was definitely probably too young actually no 2013 2014 when did they actually come out I'm not sure either way I yeah I don't think I would have enjoyed it as much but when I was at uni these are exactly the books i was reading i was obsessed i was

obsessed with this one i wish i could remember the name so i could recommend it i could probably google the story and find it but it's like this guy and he rode a motorbike and he was a bit of a dick but it's just so good but this one there's a lot of sex in this one i'm halfway through and oh girl but yes it's good the the sex parts aren't like too filth like it's not 50 shades like it's not like chapters and chapters of sex like it's only like a page but it's honestly brilliant I love the characters the writer is just she just does it right she just I'm hooked I love her so yeah if you do want to read them, honestly, recommend. Let's start a Lear on the Line book club.

Although I will not wait for you to catch up because I am, I'm probably going to finish this book in the next 24 to 48 hours. I'm not going to lie. And then I will absolutely be putting the first movie on. I can't wait to watch the fucking film. I can't wait to watch the film.

Okay. But anyway, apart from my new book obsession, what is going on in all of your lives? Do I have much to update you on i hung out with my sister today um i've got a meeting with my management this week to discuss like plans for 2024 oh i've got my first talking therapies on the 11th so that is on th Thursday but that's only like a really quick thing just to sort of determine my priority on the list on the waiting list which obviously I'm not high on the priority in terms of risk so it may be a while but either way I'm happy to wait obviously whoever is up on that list of priority they they deserve to be seen much much sooner than me so yeah I'm happy to

slip at the bottom of that list and just patiently wait because I'm just happy to be on the list at all to be honest so yeah anything else to update you on not really um how am I feeling to be honest so yeah anything else to update you on not really um how am i feeling to be honest i am feeling really good this year um don't hold me to it but the first nine days well eight days technically of the new year i can actually confirm right that I don't think I felt anxious for a second and I do wonder if it's from like stopping vaping because obviously nicotine like it does induce anxiety so I just yeah I've just noticed that I feel relaxed I feel a lot more like myself I don't know but yeah either way whatever it is sorry I just I covered my mouth because I'm scratching it that's on word sounds weird in my headphones anyway yeah either way whatever the reason is I feel really good

maybe it's the reading maybe it's the painting I will get painting soon as well I'm gonna be doing a bit of painting and a bit of reading tonight. Who is she? I'm sorry, who is she? She's 90 years old. Who is she? I love her though. Honestly, I'm happy to be here. So yeah, that's all I really have to update you guys on. But I hope all of you are feeling really good. If you haven't had the best start to the new year, do not worry. At the end of the day, it's just another week. Another week, just like last week was another week and the week before that. So don't i love you i'm here for you and yeah while we're here actually pop me a dilemma if you need any advice or just want to get anything off your chest send me a confession if you've got anything to confess we can do a confession diaries episode if you guys want to

um any updates to any dilemmas send them in any weekly debate ideas send them in and remember to follow leah on the line on socials just to get involved with the weekly debates this is all about to be repeated in the episode intro so i can only apologize for that you guys are all about to get deja vu all right let's get into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leah on the line.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates enjoy the episode love you enjoy the episode love you sorry guys sorry about the deja vu okay Okay. So everybody, the weekly debate. I popped up an

Instagram story asking you guys to send in any weekly debate suggestions that you had. One of you came up with this, which I feel like is a really good one because we haven't really discussed it before to this specification. So it says, how do you feel about your partner still following ex flings situationships or people from dating apps so we've obviously discussed being in touch with exes or being friends with exes or still following their exes but we haven't discussed like just people they followed from hinge or tinder or i don't know they met them on a night out and might have just had a little snog and followed each other how do we feel about these people it could even be an ex person that they were just fucking or they could have actually been genuinely seen each other how do

we feel about this okay so let's have a little look um depends on how it ended with said person but mostly absolutely not happy no just straight up no no no no i don't mind i used to follow my ex but i don't now i still follow people that i went on dates with though hate it get rid of them i feel meh about him following exes but i also keep semi in touch with some of mine so i'm such a hypocrite but i do not view my exes in that way whatsoever anymore honestly i'd be more worried about the ones he doesn't follow or you don't know about facts to be fair that is a fact okay starting with the first one the ones that he doesn't follow yeah i can feel that because it's like you you you want to secretly be able to spy if i follow you you're gonna see that and you're gonna tell me why

you're still following them and i'm gonna have to do something about it if i'm not following them i can just pre and have a little look at what's going on or the ones that you don't know about so there could be a girl that is in his following or a guy that's in your following or a girl whatever and they have no idea that you used to fuck but you still follow each other and it's very low key because no one actually knows what was going on between either of you it's facts to be fair okay it's a no from me still want them in your life i'm out of here hun yeah if they slept together or if it was more serious than no if it was literally nothing then i don't care it's okay unless he starts liking their selfies or their stories, then it becomes a bit dodge. Yeah, I agree. Breaking up, someone says. Okay, fair enough. Setting your

boundaries firmly in place as you should. No, thanks. There's literally no need in my eyes. If it's because they want to, then no. But if it's because they don't care enough to unfollow, then sure. that's fair enough it depends how serious it was and how in touch they are if it's just a follow i think it's okay yeah like if it's just like well we followed each other because we like used to i don't know have sex like six seven years ago and i'm not just going to unfollow them randomly now am i then fair to be honest me personally i still follow people that I've, you know, had experiences with because it is nothing. It could have been years ago or it could

have, well, they are all years ago, to be honest. I've been in relationships for a long time. I don't follow ex-boyfriends. That for me is unnecessary unnecessary but there are people that I follow that I might have slept with once or we might have had a fling for a while or we've we only know each other for a dating app you know like but it was so long ago that you are just someone that I know do you know what I mean I don't see you as like oh fuck like there's him like popping up on my feed like you're just someone that I know and and feel like have known for years so to be honest I feel like it's really not that deep however there are certain people that I don't follow because it it would be deep if I did does that make sense the only people I still follow are the ones where it just ain't that deep and you kind of just have to trust me there you know which I understand what from what you guys are saying it's not that easy for

everyone to just believe you when you say there's nothing there like it's it's fucking years ago we we barely remembered that it ever happened you know um but it is a difficult one to be honest um as long as you're not like proper in touch or being sly about it because listen i have an experience where somebody i was with followed somebody randomly and they didn't have like a ton of followers they was private and the fact they were private was a red flag because I was like you know them you know like it's not like it's a friend of a friend that you know you've bumped into because we had no mutual followers and they are private so you know them they only had like a couple of hundred followers they're a very private account

so clearly they're only accepting people that they know and vice versa so I confronted the person and I said like just out of curiosity like who is that and they're like oh it's just a mate from school and I said how come you've just followed them today? Like what made you follow them randomly today? And they were like, I don't know. I just, I just did. And I was like, okay. And something in my gut was like, nah, babe, my gut. Anyway, I did something that I have only done

probably twice, maybe three times in my life, right? And I went, actually, this person had an old phone they I think they just got a new phone and their old phone was under their bed right and it was vibrating where it's still connected to their um apple id so I hear this phone under the bed and I'm like fuck I could just just quickly have a little look so I pull the phone out and I just I went on iMessage and well sorry just messages whatever the app's called messages and at the top where it says search I just searched this person's name because I thought just out of curiosity like when was the last time you were in contact with this person or have you spoken about this person to someone recently? What, what encouraged the follow,

right? I find years old messages, like there was no cheating from from these messages, but that they're years old, but it confirmed to me they used to fuck and I was like oh you fucking little liar you dirty little liar and confronted them I said look I'm ashamed that I've done this but I have just seen that you used to sleep with this girl who you've just told me as a friend from school and you've just followed them today like what is the reason you know what is the reason and the raisin? And I got the, you know, I got the classic. I'm like, don't go from my fucking phone. You're a fucking psycho. I was like, woo, I love it here.

I love it here. Anyway, so I'll never know what was really going on there. But what I'm saying to you is, you know, considering the weekly debate, it is sometimes the ones that we don't know about because if if that phone wasn't buzzing away under the bed i would never know who that person was and i would just go okay random you just followed a friend from school but okay random do you know what i mean i thought that was quite interesting so yeah how do i feel about it? To be honest, luckily, Jamie doesn't actually follow any girls on social media, really, apart from people that he just knows. But if it was, because I'm sure like my exes have still followed people that they fucked and stuff.

that they fucked and stuff um i i'm i don't want to know if you know i don't want to go through your following and ask you have you set up have you set up you set up kissed her fingered her she sucked you off yeah no i'm not gonna i don't want to know so ignorance is bliss unless something comes to my attention like this where i've just said you know i was like hmm something about this feels strange i'm i don't care unless something feels strange you know so yeah that's how i feel about it but i love you guys thank you so much for sending your responses oh god why do i feel so out of breath today? I'm like not breathing between each sentence. But I love you guys. Thank you. Let's get into some dilemmas. Guys, where did all this snow come from? Like, it's really heavily snowing where I'm from right now. Was this even forecast? I'm not too sure. But either way, it's a little bit late, hun. Christmas has been a gone,

you know. Now, if it snows past Christmas, it's just annoying. Like, it's just a nuisance. But, oh God, I sound like such a scrooge i mean this christmas is over this isn't christmas snow it's just snow my phone's very loud oh who's this sending me a message that's very scary leah hi the message says okay i'm back i was just chatting to one of you guys in dm we're just voicenoting each other because you sent me a scary message saying leah hi i was like but then she followed up with like hey just wanted to chat with you I'm like oh thank god for that okay dilemmas time everybody are you ready to get into some I'm gonna kick off with this one hey babe love the pod keep being you thank you I love you. Just for context, I'm 28. He's 33. Okay. Long story short,

me and my boyfriend have been together for three years. He proposed last year and everything was great. But whenever I bring up planning a wedding, he says I'm cornering him and pressuring him. pressuring him what you're joking you put this ring on my finger babe not me like hey he said i'm not allowed to mention the wedding for a year what what did you sorry quick question what did you mean when you said will you marry me what rough just like just like sum it roughly sum it up what you sort of imagined that might mean did you imagine maybe like getting married at a wedding maybe when you, will you marry me? The fuck? Okay. He also said, I'm obsessed with it. Okay. First of all, this wedding's not going to plan itself. It was just the fact that you put a ring on my finger and asked me to marry you. I was under the impression that you wanted a wedding,

right? And this wedding isn't going to plan itself. So there are questions and things we need to discuss. Even if I was obsessed, as I should be, we should both be obsessed and excited about getting married, you little freak, right? he's been unbelievably snappy lately and he makes me feel so rubbish about myself at the moment he criticized he criticizes everything i say and do and he also makes weird comments about my friends like he said my bestie was a baddie and that she had the best ass he'd ever seen i'm so sorry are you actually okay you're 33 years old and you're telling me you don't know better my confidence is low at the moment and i feel like it's getting to the point where i think i should think about ending it sorry i knew that hiccup was coming i'm not tired or bored i just really needed oxygen then sorry guys okay um i'm so scared though of starting again without him and i'm so in love with him. The thought of not having him is unbearable.

Okay, quickly, we need to ask what about him are we in love with? Because he doesn't actually sound too great. Obviously, this seems to be a new side to him, or at least that he's changed. But either way, are you in love with him or the fake version of him? long were you together three years this is you know you'd like to you'd like to think that you know someone after three years how can you just switch up on me so quick okay the thought of not having him is unbearable sometimes i think i'm being over sensitive and overreacting and i just feel like i can't win with him at the moment i'm telling you now if jamie ever ever said to me jess is a baddie and she has the best batty i have ever seen i'm telling you now i'm telling you now you now. I'm telling you now. He is single. Beyond single. Right? Okay? I'm sorry. Have a bit of respect. Right? Okay. He also made a comment that he doesn't know why i act like the best thing to ever happen

to him because i because i am because i am the best thing and you should agree with that imagine your boyfriend saying that to you don't know why you act like you're the best thing that's ever happened to me sorry sorry sorry sorry i're the best thing that's ever happened to me. Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. I am the best thing that's ever happened to you, sweetheart. Okay, sweet? Do you know what I mean? Not sure where this came from because I really don't. I just pulled him up on his attitude.

He says that I should let him have an attitude if I know it's not about me personally. Okay. But it still affects me because he talks to me so rudely. Yeah, just because it's not about me personally. Okay. But it still affects me because he talks to me so rudely. Yeah. Just because it's not about me doesn't mean it doesn't have an effect on me. Doesn't mean it's nice to be around. I feel so insecure and it's made me, and it's also made my relationship with my bestie a bit strange because I have this horrible jealousy knowing how he looks at her. Yeah, I get it. I'm getting fed up feeling like i'm not good enough for him and i just don't know what to do anymore i don't know why he proposed just to then tell me i can't start planning or even talking about a wedding he also has been asking for a threesome with another girl and it just makes me feel so

worthless please let me know your thoughts i might overreact and be insensitive i feel like i don't trust my own judgment lately love you so much angel ps you are so beautiful oh oh i love you so so much okay immediately take that fucking ring off your finger i'm sorry you deserve so a million times more a million times better than okay like listen to me listen to me babe this guy is crap like there are billions of people billions of people on the planet you ideally ideally doesn't always happen you ideally want to marry just one yeah please do me favor. Don't make him that guy. Please. Just for me. Please.

This guy, he's moody. He's rude. He makes you feel insecure. He's banned you from planning a wedding that was his idea. And he's talking about your friend like that and he wants a threesome like i'm sorry no babe i love you so much you need to realize and it's one of them things where you will look back eventually and realize what a piece of crap that was but honestly take take my advice and just take that ring off your finger you will look back and be like i'm so glad i did that with so much strength because i'm sorry the way that he's treating you and speaking to you and just fucking violating you and your relationship is only telling him

that you don't have self-respect and and his love means more to you than anything else and what you need to show him is you don't need him i don't need you i don't need you who fucking fancies my best friend and wants a threesome and makes me feel like i'm not good enough and bans me from talking about a wedding that was your fucking idea in the first place i don't need you i don't need that i don't want that i don't need it i don't want it so yeah that's what i think obviously look you're gonna do what you want to do let's try and be a bit more positive just to give another perspective he could be going through something right now that we really don't know what it is either way i don't think what he's saying to you is excusable i understand that maybe he is going through something and maybe talking

about a wedding right now is too much and he doesn't have it in him to communicate that he doesn't know how to say to you babe i love you i really do want to marry you and i'm so excited but right now can we just put it on hold for a year because I'm really going through this right now I would get it but it's not he's not communicating but that you know some people just can't communicate and that's okay well it's not it's not okay but I'm saying like sometimes it's not their fault um I understand that sometimes our mental health really slips and we are just snappy and not nice to be around because maybe he's depressed for whatever reason but in my opinion i can excuse them things

but i can't excuse him the the things he has said to you the way he's talking to you about you saying sorry what why are you why are you going around acting like the best thing that's ever happened to me there is no need for that there is no need for you to say my besties are baddie and got a fucking banging ass. Like there's no need for that. So that's what I feel. And I love you. And I think you deserve so much better. Okay. Keep us updated with that one, please. Next dilemma. Work friendships related dilemma. hey leah love you and the pod so much and this gorgeous leah on the line community we've got going i look forward to hearing your voice every week oh i love you so much that's so sweet what a beautiful community we have

as soon as this happened to me last week i thought i know exactly who i need to ask that makes me feel so special sorry it's a little long but I know you love the long ones and I'm a I'm an I'm a context girly feel free to cut bits out no no we're keeping her all in let's go love you okay basically I've been working at my company for three and a half years now and I absolutely love my job it's a small company so for the first while I worked alone and then they hired another girl to work alongside me we worked together for one and a half years until she went off on maternity leave in april of this year in my eyes we were great friends and we would talk all about our

personal lives in great detail go for lunch together but never really hung out outside of work okay so we're very close when it comes to the workplace okay and then just before she went off on maternity we hired two new members of staff and she left quite quickly due to pregnancy complications okay we threw her a baby shower in the office for which i organized most of oh lovely i bought her gifts and wrote a gorgeous message in her card we knew secrets about each other and she even asked me to hide it from our boss when she shagged his brother, which I did. Okay, love you. Loyal. We love it. I checked up on her a few times when she had left,

telling her how much I missed her. And she replied saying, I miss you so much. Please promise me you'll still be my bestie outside of work and let's meet up let's meet up for lunch dates with my baby until one day I messaged and she never replied I presumed it was just as she was busy with mum life yeah fast forward a couple of months and I'm having a slightly difficult conversation with my boss about my pay. My boss says, oh yes, fake name Ellie, mentioned that you weren't very happy about your wage. And you'd been shouting and swearing, discussing it in front of the new staff. Which was completely untrue. Ellie's a lying little bitch is what she is.

Sorry. What? What's the need? need okay I was so confused I had one I had one in confidence conversation with her alone this is sorry this of course made me hesitate to reach out to her as I felt a little betrayed that she would fabricate a lie about something like that yeah so you've gone to her and just had one conversation in private saying like yeah you know i do feel like we're a bit underpaid that's it and she's gone oh you should have heard her effing and blinding in front of the whole fucking team saying my boss is a prick jesus ellie. So fast forward to now. We haven't spoken for a few months, but I've still liked her pictures and socials, etc. And my boss meets up with her to discuss

her return to work in March. She proceeds to tell my boss that she is hesitant to come back because apparently I am a bully and I make her feel uncomfortable and she would struggle to be around me. Wow. No confidentiality with your boss, hey? Good job you're not a fucking bully, really. Because otherwise your boss is fucked. Like, for telling you. Okay, my boss told me this. She wants to have a meeting about it before slash if she

returns anyone who knows me knows this is not my nature at all i don't think i've ever not gotten along with anyone before or had anyone tell tell me i make them uncomfortable i'm too much of a people pleaser okay so ellie is just telling pure Luckily, my boss is just as confused as I am. And I have all the messages for evidence that she was texting me to say she missed me and loved me and wanted to meet me just after she left. Yeah. My question to you is, how do I now approach this with her? Do I say nothing? Do I say something?

I'm so stuck and just genuinely shocked and so upset that she has said this stuff the thought of me making anyone feel uncomfortable anything of the sort really hurts me i truly thought we were friends sorry for the long dilemma and thank you in advance for your help love you bye love you babe okay that is hell and horror like that's crazy ellie is just telling pure lies about you she's a bully she said you're a bully whoa you literally said you miss me you please be best please stay my bestie while i'm off work yeah i wasn't so much concerned about that you clearly haven't stayed my bestie what do you do what do you do that is difficult i if i'm in your position i'm confronting it 100 not even because i think it's best for the outcome but because i'm pissed off

you could have literally lost your job realistically if your boss didn't have a good relationship with you where she trusted you and thought that doesn't sound like you you could have just been sacked there and then and that would have been ellie's fault and by the sounds of it it's kind of what she wants so to be honest i'd i'd probably try and meet up with her and talk in person because I'd want to see the bullshit in her eyes. Do you know what I mean? I don't want you to have a second to come up with an excuse why you've done that. Like you clearly didn't think it was going to get back to me. And for that reason, I want to know. I want to know why, you know, like if I've done something to you, I want to know. I'm sorry if I have. But I didn't swear my fucking head off in the middle of everyone in the office saying I'm

underpaid. Fuck my boss and all that bollocks that you come out with. I didn't do that. And I'd like to see you sit there and say that I did to me. And I want to understand why. You know what? It could be a big misunderstanding. Maybe your boss is the liar. Maybe your boss is a lying little rat. No, that's really just not it, is it? Like, why would she lie? She literally has no reason to lie what are we gonna do here what are we gonna do okay well yeah I would confront it I feel like the right thing to do is probably just let your boss handle it and you know just just just what's the word diffuse diffuse this in a professional, professional, professional, oh yeah, professional environment, I was trying to add an extra syllable, in a professional environment where your boss can

be the mediator and sort of say, you know, Ellie, you did come to me and say that we don't have a name for you, let's call you Lily, Ellie, you did come to me and say that lily was you know swearing around the office about being underpaid and you know lily has said that that didn't happen and then you can both be in the room ellie my little bitch will go yeah it did actually yeah it's her and lily you can go please please get my other colleagues in here now get my fucking colleagues i wasn't fucking swearing in the fucking office for fucking no chicken that will not help your case no but you should definitely say please ask my other colleagues this did not happen and then you can say lily in front of your boss lily why are you saying this happened we can ask everybody else and they will back me up

when they say that didn't happen right and then we can move on to okay i'm the boss again okay ellie um you also said that you know i hope you I hope you don't mind me saying this in front of Lily but hope you know I think it's important that we do get things out so we can get to the bottom of this and come to a come to a resolution here you did say that you felt a little bit bullied is that the words you use and Lily can say yeah yeah that's the words I use or I mean Ellie will say yeah yeah the words I use although she mean, Ellie will say, yeah, yeah, the words I use. Although she's a liar, so she'll probably go, no, I never, no, I never said that. No, I'm sure she'll stick it out

because she's got a plan. She definitely has intentions here. So then that's where you can sit there and say, okay, look, I'm so sorry if I've ever said anything to you that's made you feel like that. It's never been my intentions. I genuinely, genuinely saw you as a friend. I thought we were friends. I love working with you. You know, you know secrets about me. I know secrets about you that no one knows. And to be honest, I would like to know where in all of this, you know, you might have felt bullied by me.

And if that's the case, Brink pulls up the messages of I love you so much. Like, can't wait to be besties for life. Shows messages. Explain this. Exhibit A. Do you know what I mean? I could be resolved in a professional environment. But at the same time, it's almost like, does your boss have time for this?

Maybe you should just do it in private, you know. But it's up to you. Let me know which option you go with. But I definitely want answers at this point. Like, making up one little lie. It's not even a little lie. It's a big lie that I was effing and blinding around the office about being paid. About not being paid enough. And then saying like, I bully you, is a big statement, like this could go to HR, I could lose my job, Ellie, you know, so yeah, that's my opinion,

I want to know, so yeah, love you babes, good luck us updated please I definitely want to know what she has to say for herself so please don't leave me hanging on that one okay good luck babe next dilemma hey Leah I've been binging your podcast for the last few weeks whilst at work and let me tell you my darling it has got me through this account in life. That's fantastic news. The way you speak, you already sound like a bit of me. I love it. I just wanted to get your opinion on something that's been spinning my head. I've recently got into a new relationship. We're nearly five months in since the first date and I genuinely cannot fault the boy. We moved kind of fast. He was previously in a long-term relationship whereby his ex cheated, it ending but he had been single for almost two and a half years by the time we met.

He has his own place so it's made seeing each other really easy. We've been on proper dates and nights away so it's not all taking place at his house. He's done the absolute most for me since the beginning. Been so kind to me, supported me when i've been in my in my down moods accepted my past he's cooked for me every single night that i've stayed at his house even cleared a wardrobe for my clothes has bought furniture for me bought an entire shower basket of things for me to use when i'm there and effectively just been an absolute angel. That is so cute. My friends and family love him and just think he's the most amazing person I could have met considering I've dated some absolute assholes in the last three years

and I've been single. So it was about time that I found someone nice. He's someone that came along when I was least expecting it to. My problem is he just isn't the kind of guy looks wise that I would have typically gone for. I do find him attractive but I'm not in the mindset of I want to rip your clothes off and be all over you 24 7. Do you think this is a massive issue? He makes me so happy and he does everything that any girl could want in a guy but do you think the physical attraction has to be at an all-time high for the relationship to work or do you think it's something that can

be worked on in my own head of course i don't want to lose him but i'm also just thinking is this right in the long run if the attraction isn't at all isn't at an all-time high you could say i fell for his personality which in reality is what stays in the end as looks will always fade it's given lovers blind on netflix if you know you know yeah please share your opinion and maybe even include this in a weekly debate to say do looks really matter because i'd love to hear what other people think so we have done this and i'm sure it was in a title so you should maybe hopefully be able to find that one bloody love you and the pod so much you really help lift my spirits on the daily oh i love you so much that is so nice love you so much gorgeous girl you're the nicest person ever i love you my god okay so listen i'm not gonna lie i get it i do get it sometimes you can meet the most perfect human being but

if it isn't there that there can be some sort of mental block and when we discussed it in a weekly debate last time saying you know like i think i think my question was you meet someone you're not initially attracted to them can this develop over time and everybody else basically everybody in the responses said yeah looks like you said looks fade personality is what sticks personality is what matters it's not their appearance that can make you happy and stuff like that. Almost all of you were on team personality all the way. And I'm with you in, it doesn't matter how fucking good looking you are. If you don't make me happy, I don't want to be with you, right? And this guy is ticking every fucking box personality wise like what a lovely sweet guy he's buying furniture a little bedside table for you a little chest of drawers for you like he's he's a sweet adorable boy man

and it sounds perfect but sometimes the attraction just isn't there how long have you been seeing each other you're five months in okay okay um it's a tough one because i'll be honest i do agree that looks someone gets more attractive the more you get to know them but what i want to say is if you don't physically fancy them sometimes that's when you get the ick and these little sweet gestures become icky rather than sweet sometimes not all the time i would just say maybe because you said you've taken it you've gone quite quick, you said, we moved kind of fast, right, you're spending, he has his own place, lovely, so it makes seeing each other really easy, you know, you've been on nights away, it's not all been at his house, he cooks for you all the time, like, I would just say, maybe, it's hard to pull back though, this is the thing, when you start at a certain pace,

maybe it's hard to pull back though this is the thing when you start at a certain pace pulling back and slowing down is never a good sign it always fills the other person with anxiety and you feel rejected so it's difficult what do i think i do feel like you just have to see it through and hopefully you just fall in love and you just fall in love with each other because he sounds like he would be just great for you so i feel like maybe just keep keep it going you don't have to pull back but i'd say don't don't rush any further ahead than you are you know maybe try and keep it where you are you don't have to necessarily pull back to each other any less because like i said that's when people feel rejected i feel like stay where you are you know let's keep seeing each other the amount we're seeing each other um and talking to each other the way we're talking to each other we'll keep

it at the same level rather than developing it any more than where we are now too quickly let's try and keep this pace you know we don't slow down but let's keep this pace right in this position and just see where it goes and just don't worry don't stress and just enjoy it enjoy his company he's a lovely person hopefully you just fall in love with him, you know, and I'm sure you fancy him a little bit, because, you know, it's hard to have sex with someone if you don't fancy him a little bit, and it's okay if you don't feel, I want to rip your fucking clothes off, because to be honest, years down the line in a relationship, like you said, looks fade anyway, you know, even if you did feel, I want to rip his fucking clothes off now, you probably won't in three years because he does your fucking head in. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, I would just stick it out and just don't stress and enjoy it

because he sounds lovely. He sounds like a lovely, lovely guy. I love you, babe. I'm so happy that you've met somebody so nice though. You deserve that. All right, guys, thank you so much for sending in your dilemmas a little reminder if you want to if you have anything you need to talk to me about send one in right now leahontheline.com and let's wrap up the episode guys honestly yeah i'm so excited i'm gonna quickly edit this episode, upload it, I feel so good when I get an episode, I really enjoyed this episode, I actually had such a good time talking about these dilemmas, I feel like there was a little bit different, like that workplace dilemma was a little bit different,

we've never had somebody get proposed to and then banned from planning a wedding before, I absolutely loved this episode, there was something about it, it feels really good, but anyway, so I'm feeling so good because I've had such a good episode and I get to go and get back into my book in a minute I can't wait I can imagine I had a proper Bristolian accent I can't wait honestly I can't i'm seriously i'm gonna upload this i'm gonna take off my makeup wash my face go downstairs open that book i can't wait imagine i talk like that would you would you listen to my podcast if i spoke like that do you think you could listen to my podcast or would it be quite annoying personally i quite like the accent i don't mind it at all. I write

my love. I write my babba. I like it. I think it's quite nice. My sister's, one of my sister's exes, he has this thickest Bristolian accent and he always goes, all right, Leigh? All right, Leigh? I'm saying Leigh, by the way. All right, Leigh? All right right, Lee. All right, Jude. All right, Jude. All right, Jude. Yeah. Sounds like Jude. Her name's Jodie, but we all call her Jode. And it sounds like, all right, Jude. All right, Jude. I like a Bristolian accent. What's your favourite accent? I'll be honest. I quite like a Newcastle accent me I do like it I think it's quite nice especially on a girl I do like listening to it how many of my listeners are from Newcastle how am I at the accent I don't think I'm that bad at it sometimes it takes me quite a while to get into it I need

to watch about to be honest one episode of Geordie shaw and i'm in i'm in it has there been a new geordie shaw series in a while it is my guilty pleasure especially when you've got anxiety seriously my biggest tip to anyone that has anxiety put on an episode of geordie shaw takes it away instantly because you just see them doing it and you think oh i wasn't that bad just makes you feel so much better whatever accents do you guys love what do you reckon is the sexiest accent i love a northern accent i love it i love it dead sexy but i don't know if i prefer like manchester like dead sexy or like like sexy baby okay okay baby you're right baby you're okay baby so nice what about scottish do you find it sexy i'm not too good at that one

as we all know because i've tried it many a time what about welsh no i don't think that's a very sexy one on a man i'll be honest anyone else it's an opinion though isn't it what about cockney accent all right treat your all right darling kiss your fucking wink will ya yeah i do like a cockney accent but i i'm my i like it more on like a man like a dad like when i worked when i worked in like pubs and in london always in london and a guy would come in and be like all right darling can i just get a couple of amstels please or a couple of stellas please i was like oh i just love it i just want to stand here and talk to you all day. I just love it. I don't know. Maybe it's because all the older people in my family, they're all Cockney. Apart from my

granddad, actually. He's very Somerset. But yeah, most of the people around me are Cockney. Yeah, I suppose. On my dad's side. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So yeah, I don't know what it is about the Cockney accent, but it just sounds like home i just love it and it's a dying accent it's really sad yeah like when you go into a proper pie and mash shop in east london it's like you know i love what can i get you i just love it coming outside of the uk i do like an aussie accent but what I'm curious about is, are there different Aussie accents? Because if so, I don't know any other accent apart from this one. Sorry. I used to work with this girl called Brianna. Her name's Bri, like the cheese, right? Bri.

And every day that I would get into work she was my manager every day she's australian by the way i don't think i'd put that in she's australian every day i'd come in i go oh how you going and she'd be like yeah okay i get it you're really good at the accent she loved it oh how you going brie how you going oh you kidding me and when i went on i worked on the cruise ship well i didn't actually ever get on the cruise because of covid but i lived in miami to do the rehearsals for the cruise ship you guys already know my bestie out there australian and they would always tell me like about how you would say um they they call ginger people rang, like an orangutan. Kind of rude. Kind of rude, honey.

But they had like blonde hair. They think they're blonde. Fucking ginger bitch, right? And I'd be like, oh, look at you, you fucking wringer. Your hair's wranging today, mate. Your hair's wranging. It doesn't make any sense. But yeah, I just love it. I just love it. I do like, I love Jamie's accent it doesn't make any sense but yeah i just love it i just love it i do like i love jamie's accent i won't i if he ever loses it he was talking to my nephew earlier today

um and he had no idea what he was saying he was like um what did he say what did he say oh i can't remember now but frankie was repeating it in his accent so he didn't know what he's saying and i had to say it in our accent and he's like oh you know like that little kid that copies his dad that viral video where he's like garrent road oh love it i love an accent accents are so interesting isn't it it? They're so like, it's fascinating, aren't they? Accents. Fascinating. All right, guys. Anyway, I'm just chatting pure crap at this point, but I love you guys. Thank you so much for listening to this episode. It means the whole world to me that you decided to click on this and tune in today. And if you've listened

all the way to the end, how lucky am I? I so much have the best week send me in any ideas or suggestions that you guys want me to do for friday's episode this week let me know i'm all ears have an amazing week and i'll speak to you on friday for a brand new episode all right I love you. Bye.