Leah on the Line - Bonus 18: The TWENTIES episode

Episode Date: September 29, 2022

Hi babes! LIFE IN YOUR TWENTIES HEY? I wanted to discuss all the different pressures, how lonely it can feel, how difficult it is to navigate our way through and hopefully bring us all a sense of how normal it is and we really are just all in this together. I hope you all love this episode, you're the best! Thank you for all of your support, it means so so much. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.

It's getting closer to midnight. I tried to get closer to you. Hello. Hi, everyone. Oh, that was upper, upper key this time. to you. That's my energy today. I just watched a horror film. I just watched Smile at the cinema. It's fucking scary, mind. It was actually quite scary. It's the smiling faces for me. Isn't a smile just creepy sometimes? Right, everyone look in the mirror and look down a little bit,

wide-eyed, and just smile at yourself. You will scare yourself. It's so creepy. But I really recommend that film, to be honest. I normally think horror films are a bit shit at the moment. They're not like that film to be honest i i normally think horror films are a bit shit at the moment like they're not like they used to be do you remember like paranormal activity days and that that shit used to fuck me up it was so scary it was so scary but it was actually so scary i really recommend it halloween's coming what's everyone doing

halloween i have a halloween party and no costume idea i don't want to like give it some do you know what I mean but I do want to give it a little bit I don't want to be like fucking hell she's put some thought into that but I also want to be like wow she looks cool she looks hot do you know what I mean so any ideas throw them my way let me know what you're all going as maybe you can all do a matchy-matchy together maybe you guys can dress up as me for halloween oh look let me make it all about me how can i make halloween about me anyway how are you all hope you're doing really well hope you've had a good week it's the end of the week it's the weekend amazing this time next week i'll be packing to go to tenerife and i am excited I am excited for a bit of sunshine a bit of cocktail in my

mouth I'm so excited honestly I need a holiday I'm gonna go swimming dive into the bottom did anyone used to throw their hairband to the bottom of the swimming pool and then like swim down like a mermaid pretend you was on h2o then come back and be like Cleo do you guys used to do that or is there something wrong with me because Because I'll be definitely doing that. I'm doing that in two weeks. No doubt about that, honey. I'm going to pretend I'm Cleo from H2O. Isn't there like a remake of H2O called like Mako Mermaids?

I've heard that there is. And I've not heard good things. Because H2O was the best. What was the song? Come on, this is our adventure. show was the best. What was the song? Come on, this is our adventure. Because I'm no ordinary girl from the deep blue underworld. And I see the world's my oyster. They are not the lyrics. They are not the lyrics. But anyway, hope you're all really well. Today, we're doing an episode called the 20s episode. I put up an Instagram story saying, what do you

guys want? What should we talk about this week? And I had loads of you saying you want us to talk about just being in your 20s. Now, I do understand that all of my listeners are in their 20s, so this isn't going to resonate for everyone. But you're either approaching 20s, which means this might be really nice for you to hear, or you're past your 20s, and therefore I have asked for your advice if you're past your 20s. So this is great for us all, you know. I'm mid-20s. I'm bang in the middle. I'm 25. And let me tell you, it's not what I thought it was going to be, honey. And we'll get into that. So yeah, I hope you're really excited for this episode. We're going to touch on a few different things. What you guys find difficult, advice, things to remember, things that we can all remind ourselves, you

know, it's just going to be a lovely little chat. All of us, all of us just getting together this Friday, having a good old chat. So let's get into the episode. Friday, having a good old chat. So let's get into the episode. Okay, so I was thinking like, I'm 25, I'm bang in the middle. What what do I feel? You know, like, how do I feel about my 20s? And I would say they've been I hate being like, it's been really difficult because like, so many people go through so much harder shit. you know what I mean like people get faced with some real fucking challenges and I consider myself very lucky touch wood hold on bear with one second touch wood I've been quite lucky in my I've got to touch it again because I've said it again touch wood in my 20s um but that doesn't mean I haven't found it difficult you know like as you all probably. I refuse to believe any of you.

Actually, no, I'm sure there are people that are like, I loved my 20s or like my 20s have been the best years of my life. Well, good for you. Good for you, to be honest. Good for you, honey. But for me, it's not what I expected or what I'd hoped and planned and dreamed. So I went to uni. So I went to college. I did performing arts.

And then I get to 18. Well, I was actually 17, obviously. And they're like, UCAS, UCAS, get on UCAS. Go to uni, go to uni. And I was like, okay, like, what else am I going to do? Do you know what I mean? I did performing arts. You can't just go, anyway, I'm 17. Like, I'm off and on to the West End. Do you know what I mean? So I was like, right, I'm gonna have to do something. And I'm from a very small town where you don't really make it out. Like like it's just one of them towns where like I don't know there's no I don't think there's any one really magic and incredible and like famous actor or anything from Yeovil do you know what I mean from Somerset I mean how many of us have made it

do you know what I mean so it wasn't really a thing like doing performing arts in my town it was just like oh you like drama did you do drama GCSE yeah I did actually and I only got a fucking C so don't ask me about that again all right so anyway I'm going to uni because I didn't know what else to do nobody mentioned that drama school was a thing to me at my college like nobody was like consider I was on a performing arts course you'd think they'd be like you know if you can afford it definitely audition for drama schools no babe it was go to uni get get a degree so i applied for unis i wasn't really sure how i felt about it i wasn't this is the thing in my 20s i have genuinely just gone in blind like i've winged my whole life up until this day and like when people were saying go to uni I was like all right went to I clicked on the first one on the list Anglia Ruskin is at the top

did an audition for it um got offered an unconditional offer and then I had auditions for other drum uh drum schools universities and didn't go because I found auditions terrifying and I'd already got given an offer and I was like perfect I'll go there um don't do that that's my advice to anybody don't do what I did because I went to the shittest uni for what I wanted to do when I tell you I learned nothing I learned nothing I did two shows straight after uni when by the way I'm talking about in terms of like acting and singing and dancing and stuff I didn't get any skill from doing it there because it was all fucking theory I mean it was actually all written so well we did do some shows but they were quite poor to be honest um so yeah I left uni feeling very confused and my

mental health was rock bottom because uni destroyed me as a human being but you know that's not everyone's experience I had loads of you saying that uni was amazing and you've really suffered with post uni blues cannot relate but I'm happy for you that you actually loved it and enjoyed it that's what I wished my experience was anyway so I left uni and then I did a show with an amazing theatre company called Riknik they are literally incredible they're for like 16 to 21 year olds that want to pursue acting it's obviously unpaid like you don't get paid but you get to perform in a theatre in London and I was all over that because we did a show called In The Heights which I did in uni we did like half the show we literally did act two of In The Heights I was like brill

anyway so we did the the show In The Heights in stockwell playhouse in london and an agent comes to me at the end of the show and she's like like i love you i'd love to have a meeting with you about representing you i was like oh my god this is easy i'm literally bang out of uni and i've got an agent like this is this shit is easy go for a meeting with her she sells me a bit of a dream she's like i can really see you on these standards i was thinking that's not really what I'm into but you know I'll take it and then she's like you've got an amazing voice I really see amazing things for you and I was like wow my god this was easy my life I knew my life would just figure itself out here I am 21 years old and I've got myself an agent who's gonna get me on the west end anyway had like a handful of auditions that were really quite terrible um

and then my agent sends me an email one day and she's like I'm leaving the agency uh you're on your own bye and I was like oh okay so then I just sent out a ton of emails to loads of different agents and I was like I need representation like I'd love to audition for you here's a video of me singing and then a few of them got back to me and I went to my first meeting with my now agent and was like hello I don't really know what I'm doing I don't really have any experience but I feel like I'm good enough and she was like I think you're good enough I think you're brilliant I want to represent you and then she's still my agent now this was when I was like 22 or 23 I'm now 25 and she's been

representing me ever since and she is great like she gets me a lot of auditions but obviously it's not really up to her how well I'm gonna do in those auditions um and obviously we had like two years out because of covid and stuff so that's been amazing but you know I'm 25 and I've still not lived my western dream so it's like I went to uni because I was forced to and all of a sudden I'm 25 been through two agents can barely get in the audition room because I don't have drama school on my CV um but I can get in the audition room and you know what I've got an agent I'm I'm in the audition room with the same people that do have drama school credits.

And you know what? I'll take it. Do you know what I mean? But my point is, my 20s have not, career-wise, have not turned out the way that I was expecting. Do you know what I mean? But I try very hard to just ride the wave of it all. Because we're literally all just guessing. Like, we're literally every day.

It's just a guess. Like, I don't know what I'm doing. You guys don't know what you're doing. Not really're all just figuring out none of our parents knew what they were doing they were just trying to make people happy you know we're all just trying to make people proud and do what we're expected to do and it's just like it's hard and you're also like oh I'm in my 20s I should be going out and drinking and having an amazing time and like living my best life and making amazing friends and making amazing memories but at the same time I'm really trying to grind to build a career and I don't really know how I'm supposed to have time

to eat and breathe and sleep in between all of that and it's hard do you know what I mean because like before you get into your 20s you're like I have my whole life ahead of me I'm gonna make all my wildest dreams come true and then one day you're 25 and you're moving back into your mom's house for the third time and you don't have anything in your pocket do you know what I mean it's just like it wasn't what I think we planned and also if a lot of you are around the same age as me we lost a lot of time because we were locked in the house for a for a long period of time and like I don't want to sit here and be like oh poor us like we lost all that time like I think life is still what it is meant to be. And life is what you will make it to be. But I think we do have to give ourselves some credit for that. Do you know what I mean? Like, maybe if this whole COVID thing didn't happen, well, for a fact, I was actually

on a job on a cruise ship with Royal Caribbean as a lead vocalist, and I got sent home because of COVID. And maybe if I completed that contract, my life would be completely different. I might have fallen in love with traveling, I might have done another contract on another cruise ship do you know what I mean so it's like life doesn't turn out the way that you plan it to and then all of a sudden you're in a whole different position and you're just trying to figure that one out because now you're here and what else are you going to do besides just try and wing it so it's like it's okay to just find it all too much sometimes I feel like do you know what I mean and people say to me all the time like you're killing it you're killing it

oh my god Leah I'm so happy for you you're killing it and obviously that means so much to me when you guys say that but at the end of the day I live at home I can't drive I have no savings but I'm not ashamed of it like I'm happy like someone could have it all someone could literally have it all they could have thousands of pounds in the bank. They could have a mortgage. They could have three cars. They could have beautiful children. They could be married and be unhappy. Do you know what I mean? So it's like your assets aren't what necessarily represents happiness. It's what you have inside, the people you have around you the way you live your life do you know what I mean and that's another thing I want to get into a lot of you

guys said that you want me to touch on comparison but I I put a what's it called a poll up on my story and I said do you compare your current position in life to other peoples and 86% of the votes said yeah only 14% have said you don't do that so if you are one of those people that compare yourselves um you're not alone it's clearly very common and very I don't want to say normal but do you know what I mean and life does just feel like a competition in your 20s like it just does um but at the end of the day like your life won't feel like anyone else's do you know what i mean like it it won't and it won't look like anyone else's like my life do you know what as well there's influencers somebody actually said this as well they was like oh um the pressure when you see influencers live in a life totally

different to you and like to live a life like an influencer let me tell you now there are influencers younger than me they're literally like 20 they've got a house they've got a house there's influencers that are the same age as me and they're like uploading youtube videos like trying to conceive and i'm like eh you're in a position where you you're with your partner and you've gone i think we're ready for a baby and obviously amazing and you know that's a normal age to do it but at the same time I'm like we're the same age and I live in my mum's house in my childhood bedroom and I'm scraping by do you know what I mean so it's like that doesn't make me feel shit about my position and that's the truth for me it really doesn't make me feel shit about my position. And that's the truth for me. It really doesn't. But a while ago, a while ago, it would have. I think because now I have so much around me that

I love like this podcast. I love it. Do you know what I mean? But I still live at home. I still can't drive. I still have no savings. But I have something that I'm passionate about and I'm proud of and I love and something that is mine and represents me and my hard work that it's like I'm okay with it I'm okay with being where I am now because I'm figuring it out I'm living my life and I wake up every day and I feel I don't wake up feeling happy every day but I wake every every day and I feel proud of myself because I keep going I keep doing things that scare me I keep trying to push my my own scare me I keep trying to push my my own boundaries and I keep trying to step out of my comfort zone and and find what it is that's

gonna be my thing for life you know what I mean but it's like I just what I want to stress to people is like you don't have to be in your 20s and and be working towards your future every single day like like you should love the struggle and enjoy being naive and just waking up and going I don't know what the hell I'm doing I don't know what where I'm going in life you know and like that's what your 20s are about and it should it doesn't have to be pure stress and like exhaustion. Like it can just be like, Oh, I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know. I'm just figuring it out. I'm just having a good time. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, I put a story up and I asked you guys for some specific topics that you want me to touch on. So I'm going to have a look at those. The first one

is the fear of whether your boyfriend is the one so I totally get this because it's like there's a lot of pressure to to meet the right person and you know have children if that's something you want to have um and when you're in a relationship it's like is this the one is this the one that this is all going to happen for me with but what if he isn't that means we could break up and I could be 26 when we break up and I've got to meet someone else and I've got I've got to fall in love with him before I decide to do those things and that can take a couple of years before I'm ready to have children with this person and then I'm nearly 30 do you know what I mean so it's like if you decided I want to have kids by 25 and you and

you're in a relationship and you're thinking I don't know if this guy's the one and you're 25 it's like oh shit what if I don't have children until i'm 30 that's okay that means that's when you're meant to have children do you know what i mean so yeah i totally get it but i think the only advice i would give is like everything is going to happen for you the way it's supposed to happen and when it is supposed to happen if it is ever supposed to happen so don't sit there and worry, is this the one? Is this the one? Is this the one? If he's the one, it's going to happen. If it's not the one, the right one will come along at the right time. And you'll have all of this at the

right time in your life. Do you know what I mean? The next one is your late 20s. People expect everything from you, kids, marriage, house, etc. So this was probably the most popular response. I'd say like over 60% of the responses were about this, about like, you know, I kind of touched on it in my, was it the self-love episode where I talked about people being like, have you got a blind friend and all that shit. And it is so true. Like when you're in your 20s, well, late 20s in particular, a lot of your friends have children. A lot of your friends are engaged, or married, or they have a house, and like, if you're one of them people like me, that aren't in that position, people are always looking at you thinking like, oh no, clock's ticking,

clock's ticking, I just think, listen, I'm enjoying myself, and if that's gonna happen for me, it's gonna happen for me, but I get it, people do, especially, I'm dreading reaching like 28, but I get it people do especially I'm dreading reaching like 28 and like what if I'm what if I'm still here what if I still don't have what what if I still don't have like this place that I live that is my home and what if I'm not in a position where I'm ready to talk about children it's like are people gonna start being concerned are they gonna be like oh you know do you want children do you know what I mean like why do you know, do you want children? Do you know what I mean? Like, why do you care? Why do you actually care? When did you have children? Do you know what I mean? It's like, why, why is it anyone else's business? And why does it affect anybody else's life? The,

the timeline that you live your life beside? Do you know what I mean? Next one is losing besties. Now, this is a massive one. And I feel like we really need to normalize just like losing friends as you grow up and grow through life, because you're likely to outgrow a lot of people. Like if you think about it, people you meet in school, in college, or even in uni, you're going to be a different person from the day you met them and were best friends of them to who you're gonna be when you're 28 so it's like you're naturally not gonna just grow alongside people you're naturally gonna part ways and go in a whole different directions not only that but just be different people you might not get along in five years time you know what i mean

i've not turned out like you've turned out and we're not really compatible as friends and just as people and acquaintances anymore do you know what i mean i might represent something that you don't believe in you know like a lot of people they might be like i want a really corporate job and i want to work for money and i want to buy a house they they probably couldn't bear being friends with someone like me they're just like oh I don't know what I'm doing I don't have any savings or I don't have any any way I'm gonna get a mortgage anytime soon I mean but whatever I'm just trying to be an actress they're probably like oh my god I can't cope with you you you have no ambition I can't deal with that so I mean so I get it it's life it's just how how it goes um another one

moving back in with parents after living away from home so yeah I feel like it's really hard being someone that has never left home like say you're my age now you're 25 and you've never left home but I I do feel like it's harder to move away from home and then have to come back because it almost feels like you're going backwards so it's like you feel like a failure you feel like oh I've I've you know I've flown the nest I've gotten my shit together then all of a sudden it's like can I have my bedroom back it didn't work out do you know what I mean mean? But do you know what? I don't, I truly don't believe that there is any, there is such thing as going backwards because it's like, you might be literally going backwards as in like moving back to where you grew up, but I still believe

everything is progress no matter what it feels like in that moment. Like I'm now living at my mum's house again, but I'm not in the same position that I was when I lived here last time last time I lived here I didn't have a podcast I didn't I didn't do social media for a living I worked as a waitress in a restaurant and I went to auditions whenever they came up and I was desperate to to get this acting career whereas now I'm I do something I love for a living I still pursue my singing career and I still hope that one day that will work out for me but I've figured something else out that I never ever saw in my path and I love it so it's like just because I've moved home that

doesn't mean that I've gone back there I'm I'm just back in the room that I was a few years ago you know I'm in a different place mentally and physically in my life so yeah I think it depends how how you feel about it and also I think it's really important to be grateful that we have these homes to go back to because a lot of people don't a lot of people will be sofa surfing or moving in with a friend or like some people end up homeless at our age and I feel very lucky that I have my childhood bedroom to go back to and I have a mum that will just take me in whenever shit hits the fan every single time she's like okay back you come then and you know what I'm grateful and I love it I love that hi it's Fido start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your

budget we have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido.

At your side. Navigating some friends being on 30 to 40k and some being totally broke. Me lol, she says. Yeah, you know what? Again, I feel like it's so easy. Especially a lot of you have said that financial worries is like a major thing in your 20s. But honestly, it just matters how you feel every day. Like I said, I don't have any savings. I'm scraping by. I pay my mum rent because I can't

afford to afford actual living rent in London. I'm sorry, but fuck that. It makes me feel physically sick having to like get on my own flat in London and pay those prices. No way I'm not doing that. Well, I can't afford to first of all, but even if I could make my skin cool, I'd have to have a lot of extra money if I was going to do that. And I don't. But because I feel so happy and proud of what's going on in my life it makes it so much more bearable when I see people around me on a way bigger paycheck than me because I'm like but I'm really happy with what I've got so I think it really is mentality and being able to be like do you know what I'm so happy for you with your 30 to 40 K. That's amazing. You've worked really hard. You deserve that. And I hope it makes you happy. I really hope it does.

And I don't have that. And I'm okay because I'm happy with what I've got. And I genuinely am. Do you know what I mean? So I think just make sure that you're happy. Like it doesn't, money isn't, money shouldn't be what you're chasing to feel happy. Um, happiness should just be what you're chasing, whatever that might be for everyone. obviously it's going to be different um finishing uni and suddenly you're out in the real world yeah I mean like I said when I graduated I was like okay well that was hell now what and I just was so lucky that that show audition just came up on my Facebook page one day but if that didn't happen god knows what I would have done and also it's that thing of like when you graduate it's like well get a job then get a job

and what if you can't get a job in the field that you've just got a degree in what if you have to go work as a waitress for a bit because you're auditioning you're applying for your I don't know whatever you studied career do you know what I mean and it is so scary but I just want people to always remind themselves that like you are not expected to have it all figured out when you graduate you're not and if you do I think you're one of the minority like if you can leave uni and you just bang straight into a graduate job, well, well done. First of all, you should be very proud of yourself, obviously, always. But most of us are all out there in this big world going, oh, someone help me. I'm drowning. I'm drowning. And a lot of us go home. Do you know what I mean? So honestly, it's a scary place,

but take the pressure off. Life is about so much more than your career. Oh my God. Speaking of, the next one, do I get a career and start making money or just fuck off traveling for six months? You know what? For me, I was never someone that wanted to travel, so I can't really relate to this question. But if it's something that you feel deep down in your heart where you're like I have to travel it's something I've always wanted to do I would not want you to look back and regret not doing it and now's a great time to do it do you know what I mean you're in your 20s now is an amazing time to do that I also do believe it's never too late unless you have kids and I mean you could take them travel and homeschool them but Jesus Christ you know, if having kids is something you

do want to do, I would go traveling before that. Do you know what I mean? So, you know, six months is nothing. Out of your whole life, six months is nothing. You can start it all again when you get back. So I say go for it. This is a really interesting one somebody says being early 20s and in a six plus year relationship am I too young to be settled down will I regret it now this is so interesting for me because I was in a relationship when I was 18 um until for like three and then on and off for an extra year so like three four. And one of my major reasons why I ended the relationship was because I was like, I've met this guy, great guy at 18. And I haven't lived my life. I have not experienced anything.

I don't even know who Leah is. Especially because the whole time I was with him, I was at uni. And like I said, uni was really difficult for me. So when I left and I was doing this show and I was the happiest I've ever been, I was like, something in my gut was like, you need to let this relationship go and go out and live your life and don't settle at this age because I didn't want to regret it. But my brother has been with somebody since literally the same month that I met that guy and he's still with her now. They made it through all these years. They're like seven years in now. So I just think what

is right for one person isn't going to be the same for someone else. Like I was someone that, I didn't want to settle down with someone I met at the age of 18 I wanted to go out and not sleep around or anything like that geez I've never done that but I wanted to just go out and be Leah and just just figure out who that was and who I wanted that person to be and for some reason whatever that reason may be I didn't feel like I could do that in a relationship and you know what a lot of people can a lot of people have a lot of people been with someone since they was 16 and they've managed to figure out who they are and build this amazing life for themselves. And, and what's the word? Maintain independence. And for some reason, it's just not something I was able to do. So I know the relationship. So if you feel like you

can still go out there and discover who you are, a relationship shouldn't feel like it's holding you back. And if it does feel like it's holding you back and if it does feel like it's holding you back then that's something you just need to figure out on your own with yourself because that's what I had to do and it was a hard decision to make you were like there's nothing wrong with my relationship why would I end it he's a great boyfriend why would I end this relationship he's great but it just got to the point if it wasn't for that show that I did I don't think I would have had that wake-up call where I was like you know I'm out here I'm living independently I'm working in a show I love my life right now and something is telling me to end the relationship because this is this is I enjoyed that feeling of

independence I felt free so yeah everyone is different and no one can tell you what's right for you and you can figure that out on your own. But don't worry about it. And if you do decide I'm going to settle down and with someone that I met young, that's still amazing. So many people do that and they have no regrets. They think this is the person I met when I was a teenager. I've been with him basically my whole life and I'm more than happy. He's everything I ever wanted. I love my relationship.

I never ever wanted anyone else. And that's amazing. If that happens for you, amazing. Do you know what i mean someone says can we discuss not knowing where location wise we want to be i can't decide where to live now i'm exactly in that same boat um i again it's something i keep saying it but we don't have to have it all figured out it's just going to figure itself out like you're not going to be in the same position in 20 years time. You're going to have it figured out.

You're going to try somewhere. And you know what? You could move. I could move to Manchester tomorrow. Live there for a year and go. Loved it. Had a great year. But it's not for me.

Do you know what I mean? And that's okay. And I could go back to my mum's because I'm that lucky that I can go back to my mum's. And then I could try somewhere else. I can go. Let me give London another go and pay stupid money for a year. And maybe I'll go, you know what? I love it here. I'm happy here. I'm just going to pay it. Do you know what I mean? Don't worry about it. Don't, you don't have to have it figured out. Everything is going to work out for you.

And I truly, truly believe in the power of the universe. Okay. Um, so yeah, I also want to touch a little bit on things to normalize a little bit. So number one is not having your career plan. So obviously for me, I've always only ever wanted to be a singer. It's all I've ever wanted to do. I've always just want love's musical theater. It's all I've ever done. And I said, since day one, there is no plan B for me. I'm never making a backup plan because that means I'm doub day one there is no plan b for me I'm never making a backup plan because that means I'm doubting that this is going to work out and I'm not going to doubt it it's going to work out I know it I'm going to do that and it hasn't you know I'm 25 I thought I'd be in the West End I thought I'd be in a lead and roll the West End by now hun I'm not I've never even set foot on the West End stage but I I'm not giving up I'm not going to give up with it but if you're

someone that is at an age like me and you still don't know what you want I saw a TikTok that said that sometimes that's better because I've wanted to be on the west end since I was probably eight and I'm 25 and I haven't done it so I have this feeling of failure and unfulfillment. Whereas if you're my age and you're figuring it out now, you don't have that feeling of like disappointment. I didn't get to where I wanted to be by this age because you didn't know where that was. So yeah, I can't remember what you said about it, but it was a really, really great way of putting it of just like not knowing what you want to do gives you so much more freedom and so much less opportunity to disappoint yourself so I would just try and flip the

perspective of like I don't even know what I want to do how fun is that I have all of this world to discover and fall in love with something which you will but moving on from that is if you change your mind you know like say you you're halfway through uni you're studying I don't know journalism you want to be a journalist and then you're in your second year and you go do you know what I hate it I hate this I hate everyone I do not find this interesting when I look at journalism isn, I don't recognize myself. It's not what I want to do anymore. It's not what I ever imagined it to be. You can drop out. You can drop out. You can change your mind. You don't only get one shot at a career. You don't only get one chance and you got to get it right. You can start again and go, do you know what? I met someone and I don't

know, my flatmate, she does fashion. And when she comes home with her projects, oh my God, it makes me come alive. I think I'd love to be doing what you're doing. You drop out and you do it, babe. I'm telling you, you can do it again or drop out and you don't have to go back to uni. Just pursue a whole nother path. There is absolutely nothing stopping you and you should be proud if you have the balls to be halfway through a degree and go do you know what this ain't for me and leave I admire you because I hated uni hated it from week one but I would never have quit I would never have quit because I would have felt like a failure and I don't regret not quitting

because I wouldn't have had that audition because I found that on my uni page in my third year and if I'd quit I would have I would have left the uni page and I wouldn't have seen the audition then I got my agent then I got my second agent do you know what I mean and then I never would have got on the cruise ship and then blah blah blah you know I would never have been where I am today if I didn't go to that uni but I do think I was at a point from day one really where I knew it wasn't for me and that was so hard because I was like I love singing I love musical theatre and I hate this place so I don't think it's uncommon I can't even tell you the amount of people that drop out of uni people that dropped out of my uni I think by third year, there was probably like a third of us

left. Like it was so small by the end. And it's not for everyone. And if you also are one of those people that decide I'm never going to uni, I'm proud of you, honey, because I just went because everyone told me to. There was not one part of me that was like, oh, I really want to go to uni. I really want a degree. I really want a graduation. graduation no I couldn't give a shit about degree I literally couldn't give a shit I just had no other choice I didn't know what else to do so if you're one of those people that you're like no I'm not going uni you should be proud of that do what's best for you um and I really want to move on to this next topic, which is, I put a story up, and I said, if you're 30 plus, what is something you wish you could tell yourself when you were in your 20s?

I thought that was a really interesting one, so I got some really good responses from you, let me just scroll to the bottom, I'll just read them out randomly, okay, it says, this one says, not to worry about things, people usually are in the same boat i thought it was just me now this is so true like we all sit there in bed at night and we're stressing and stressing there are millions of people laying in bed at the exact same time stressing about the exact same stuff and that is the reality of things don't you mean so love that someone says realize your worth ditch the friends who don't want to spend time with you that is true that is true um carry on doing you things fall into place when the universe is ready

i'm now 31 and have a fella and a baby exactly guys life falls into place for you the universe is always at work and that's the truth um life only gets better when you turn 30 also you don't have to have everything sorted out now i've heard so many people say that life gets better when you're 30 and i truly truly believe it i truly do i can't wait honestly well i can't i'm trying to wish my life away don't i mean um someone says just care less and put oh care less about others and put yourself first preach it girl don't stay in dead relationships with boys who treat you like shit go out and live your best life instead that is such great advice can we just all make a pact that once we know we know a relationship isn't serving us anymore and

we know somebody isn't giving us giving us what we need and what we want and what we deserve we're going to walk away with our head held high because i'm sorry life is ticking by darling and i'm not giving you any more of my time do you know what i mean peace out um worry less about everything especially what people think yeah a hundred percent like if you actually think about it who cares who cares what anyone thinks who actually cares honestly if you care about me and what i'm doing with my life, whatever. I don't care. Like, I don't give a shit what anyone else is doing.

Do you know what I mean? Like, I don't look at other people who's, let's say someone's just dropped out of uni. I don't think, haha, failure. I got a degree. I don't care. I think, oh, good. I wish I had the balls to leave something that I didn't actually enjoy. You know?

Who cares what people think? Honestly, who cares? Put yourself first. You're the most important person here um don't get into a career too fast travel and see the world i've been a teacher since i'm 21 i'm 32 now not to set myself stupid time limits and expectations for marriage kids and a house yeah this is such an interesting one because i truly did believe i would be married with kids at 25. I remember when I was like 15, 14, 15, people would be like, when do you want kids? I'd always be like, maybe like 24, 25. Honestly, this is crazy. I could never. I've been in a relationship two months. I'm 25. I'm not having kids anytime soon. Hopefully I'd love

to one day, I think, but not where I thought I'd be. Actually, that brings me on to this thing. I put up a story saying, if you don't have children already, do you see yourself wanting them? And I put up three options for the poll and it says, if I can, definitely. Someone says, I don't want to. no sorry sorry the next option is I don't want to and the next option is I'm unsure and 68% say if I can definitely we definitely want babies 26% say I'm unsure and 7% say I don't want them so I thought that was really interesting I love that um a lot of you are still in that I'm unsure boat because honestly I think that's a weird feeling as well like when people like do you want kids and you're like I don't know

it's like no and it's like it's a weird I think that's a weird way to to be thinking and I I'm definitely one of them like I would love them I think but then because I'm like I think do you know what I mean I'm like I don't know I don't know what if life doesn't happen like that you know what i mean so yeah scary times scary times um next one is trust the timing of your life don't compare to other timelines now this is so true like there are there are people that bought their first house when they were like 21 i bought a house for it let me let me talk about sophia and chintzy for a sec absolute queens love them love them love them they have their own places back home in is it nottingham they like sophia has a house chintzy has her own flat got mortgage

on their own loving life they're younger than me they're younger than me and they're both renting a flat in London just at the same time because they wanted to live in London for a bit whilst they have their mortgage and they wear full designer they're constantly traveling they live the most incredible amazing life and honestly I am so happy like I love watching their YouTube I love watching their content when I see I'm like that is so amazing you have struck gold in life and you deserve it you're the most down-to-earth nicest girls I'm buzzing for you and I used to be a bit like shit what am I gonna do because I haven't got anywhere near enough money to be getting a mortgage or like I could not afford the clothes that they wear what am I gonna do and now I'm at a point where I'm like you know what I'm not I'm

not where they are and I don't live that life but I love them and I love it for them and I think they deserve it and I think it's amazing and I'm happy with my Primark socks and um she and leggings do you know what i mean love it hun because i'm rich in in life you know i've got an amazing family amazing boyfriend amazing friends i've got all of you guys which is literally all i could ever ask for in life so you know oh and my health touch touch my what touch my wood i do not have any wood um touch wood thank i'm thankful for my health and all my family's health and all of your health and everyone's health oh i'm touching wood right now guys for all of us but do you know what i mean so yeah that is what i'm saying about comparison it's like we're not the same we not, we do not live the same life.

And do you know what? I probably never will. I will never live like you, but that's okay. You're amazing. You deserve it. You do great things and you're, you're where you're at in life and I'm where I'm at. And if we're both happy, then I think we both win. Do you know what I mean? I think we just all need to strive for happiness and just strive to like wake up and be content and strive for peace you know like I just want to be at peace in my life I just want to be like life is peaceful life is good you know um I also found this really amazing TikTok that I'm gonna play for you all. So I was just scrolling through, I think I searched like life in your 20s or something like that. And this came up and I

thought, let me save it and play it to all of the listeners. So here we go. So I'm in my 30s now. And when I look back on my 20s, you know, everybody says the 20s are the best years of your life, that you should be just enthusiastic and loving it. But what they don't tell you is that your 20s also come with a lot of confusion and a lot of comparison where you feel like, man, I'm not as far along as I should be. A lot of loneliness too. And so if you find yourself today where you're in your 20s and you don't feel like you're carefree and living the roaring 20s that you should be living, that's okay. You're actually exactly where you should be because your 20s are going to be filled with days that you're on top of the world and you're carefree. It's also going to be filled with a lot of days where you're hustling, you're grinding, you feel alone, and that's okay. So let

this be a wake-up call for you. Keep getting out there. Keep living your dreams. You're exactly where you should be. Love that from you. Let me out what tiktok this is so i don't get told off stay paid podcast okay wait is he was this yeah okay great stay paid podcast so yeah honestly i want to wrap this episode up with just everyone strive for happiness strive for good health look after your body because this body that you're in now is going to be the same body that you're in when you're 80 hun so love it look after it do you know what i mean let's do amazing skincare let's let's love ourselves let's look after ourselves we we are all we're gonna have our whole life you know you're

the only person that's really gonna be there there for you forever. And look after that person, love that person, be grateful and be proud of yourself for getting up and going every single day, still doing things that are scary, you know, feeling the fear and do it anyway. You know, I love that little phrase. And I think it's time to take a deep breath let's all take a deep breath and let's do some affirmations ready everybodyipples. And I am proud of myself. And I'm strong. And I'm amazing. And my life is gonna be incredible. And my life's gonna be what I make it okay everybody let's wrap up the episode

okay let's end on a really positive note by me saying how proud I am of all of you okay if you're reaching your 20s if your 20s are coming up you can do this my advice to you i'm only halfway through so don't don't call me an expert right i'm definitely not doing it right but actually do you know what i've just i've just literally contradicted myself there is no right way to do it i'm 25 i live at home i don't have any savings i can't drive and molly may is having a baby she owns a bloody mansion and has a massive, incredible, beautiful car and an amazing relationship. And you know what? She deserves it. Okay. I'm happy for you. I am. I am. And you know what? You are going to have an amazing time. Do not, do not let the

pressure of society and social media make you invalidate everything you've worked hard for everything that you have now be so proud of where you are now you know you have experienced things that you dreamt of experiencing whether you realize that or not you know you have done things that you had on your tick list you've done you've done these some of these things and you're going to continue to keep ticking them off and some of these things on this list might change and that's okay cross them out if you change your mind cross them out i'm not into that anymore and write a new one and just keep ticking them keep ticking them and live your life for you do not have anyone else do not live to make other people proud do not live to make other people feel like you're of any success you

know if you feel successful if you feel happy if you feel proud of yourself you're doing well and that's all we need to strive for people if you've done your 20s congratulations how was it i'm suffering over here jesus christ i can barely sleep but you know i go to sleep at like 3am most nights yeah yeah um I'm really not the person to be sat here talking about trying to be positive about life in your 20s actually I am because I feel like I'm a good example of someone who had this big plan I'm gonna be on the west end I'm gonna be a star I'm 25 I don't know what I'm doing I live live at home. My life is nowhere near what I was hoping it would be. And I'm still happy. I'm still proud of myself and I still feel grateful and I still feel lucky. And I have so many amazing things. I love my family. I love my friends. I love you all. I

love my job. I love my relationship. Do you know what I mean? It's like, let's all just try and practice some gratitude in our twenties. I think that's where we can all struggle sometimes because don't get me wrong it's hard it is hard it's all a lot it can all just be too much sometimes but you know what I'm so proud of every single one of you you especially and I think you're all amazing and I think you're way too hard on yourselves all right right, babe, look in the mirror and say, well done. Well done for getting up every day and kicking some ass. If you quit uni, if you quit your job, I'm fucking proud of you. Well done. If you went through with it, if you, if you got that degree, well done. I'm proud of you. So keep living for yourself. Do not give a

shit what anyone else thinks do not compare yourself to anybody else life is not a race life is not a competition strive for happiness and you'll you'll have everything you need in life I love you so much I think you're an amazing let's have an amazing weekend send me in all your dilemmas for Tuesday's episode get your confessions in. And yeah, I love you all so much. I think you're amazing. And you're the best friends I could ever have.

All right, guys. Have an amazing weekend. And I'll speak to you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. I love you next time. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido.

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