Leah on the Line - Bonus 29: The SEX STORIES episode

Episode Date: January 6, 2023

Hey huns!! Omg this episode... I can only warn you in advance for how explicit and TMI it is but I LOVE it. I don't think I've ever laughed this much in an episode before, thank you for providing me w...ith these stories HAHA. Be safe out there guys. Thank you so much for all your love and support, it really means the world to me. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:34 It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hi, hi everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Near Other Line. How are you? Happy Friday. It's the end of the week, baby. How was everyone's first week back at work if you went back to work this week? How was it? You made it through. Congratulations. Well done, everyone. this week. How was it? You made it through. Congratulations. Well done, everyone. I just watched the weirdest film of my life. It was good. It was called Good Luck to You, Leo Grand, right? It's spelt the same as grande, but it's not grande. They say grand, just if you're wondering how to spell it. Anyway, it's Emma Thompsonpson or is it thomas thompson just checked emma thompson um
Starting point is 00:01:27 is about an elderly woman like she's not that old she's like what 50s in the film and she hires like a sex worker who is young and fun and young, right? And they have sex. So basically, I just watched Nanny McPhee getting railed and it was the weirdest thing. Like, it was a really good film. Like, it was really funny and I love the message. I love the message, but I just saw Nanny McPhee's funny. I just saw Nanny McPhee's big titties
Starting point is 00:02:04 and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Oh my god, I recommend guys, it's on Amazon Prime. Oh, that woman raised me. No, I wasn't that young when Nanny McPhee came out. Anyway, now I'm seeing her bum hole. No, I didn't see her bum hole, but I did see her bent over taking it for gone I'm afraid that's what she does when she's not teaching the kids hey anyway what else is going on um my boyfriend's starting a new job tomorrow and he just put his uniform on and I don't think I can allow it like he's an ex-policeman and luckily I was not with him when he was a policeman because I don't think I could have coped. Because him and his police uniform is enough to send me into a stroke.
Starting point is 00:02:51 Let alone the thought of him roaming the streets arresting people. Like, oh god. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, his new uniform, he has to wear basically a suit. It's basically a suit. So you can imagine how that's gonna feel when i wave them goodbye every morning bye don't cheat on me i can't be bothered i can't be bothered it's having a fit boyfriend it's actually a full-time
Starting point is 00:03:16 job like it's so exhausting i'm sure you guys can relate you You're all stunners. That just sounded like I think I'm stunning. That's not what I meant. Okay. I just mean you guys probably all have really fit boyfriends because you're really fit. That also makes it sound like I think I'm really fit to have a fit boyfriend. Oh, just shut up Leah. Anyway, this episode be so funny okay this is the sex stories episode I have got you guys to send me in your funniest most embarrassing most interesting whatever just any sex story you think is worth telling and worth sharing I've asked for them and you have delivered you have not disappointed like the thing is like you know when you play drinking games it's like oh what's your most embarrassing sex story like I don't really have one and I always thought oh maybe I just don't really
Starting point is 00:04:14 get embarrassed maybe like embarrassing things have happened to me but I don't really get embarrassed but when I'm reading these stories I'm like no like genuinely nothing like this has ever happened to me and I'm just gonna touch wood real quick because some of these are lethal and genuinely quite dangerous I'm just excited to dive into them um thank you so much if you trusted me with these sex stories I will obviously keep them anonymous you know what I mean how have you guys been anyway let me know send me a message let's have a catch-up If you guys have a spare two minutes, please drop me a rating or review. But as I always say, if you're going to leave a comment on Apple, just please remember I'm a very sensitive girl and I'm, listen, I'm a nice person. So if you want to go out and hurt my feelings, just ask yourself why
Starting point is 00:04:57 I might deserve to read that. Okay. I love you guys so much thanks for all your support thanks for turning this episode on and listening i wonder what you guys are up to right now are you at the gym i've just signed up to my local gym yeah i used to go pretty frequently because i used to have one in my old apartment building but since i've moved back to somerset like i haven't re what's the word reignited my love for working out because i just really haven't missed it and then i've just started to miss it so basically i'm about to get my big batty back so watch this yeah i'm really looking forward to it i'm going with my sister which is fun because she's she's like one of those people that has the gym fear. But I love the gym. It makes me feel alive. You know, it makes me feel like I love myself.
Starting point is 00:05:49 Like I love myself enough to go and give my body exercise. Yeah, my big baddie, my big baddie. So, yeah, why am I telling that story? Just because I'm wondering how many of you are at the gym or if you're on a nice winter walk or maybe you're listening to this in the summer 2023 hello future how weird is that I can't wait for summer 2023 I literally now that Christmas is over bring it on like I'm not one to wish my life away but winter I'm not that bothered like if you could click your no no no that's a silly question I was gonna say if you could click your no no no that's a silly question I was gonna say
Starting point is 00:06:25 if you could click your fingers and just skip to the summer every year would you do it no she's cut your life in half but I do love the summer and I love living here in the summer because we're local to the coast so we get to spend a lot of time at the beach watching the sunset I was about to say swimming in the sea but I literally don't I literally am not a water baby at all like you will not catch me in the water I might dip my toe in but the second a bit seaweed even kisses my toe I'm sprinting and I'm not talking baywatch sprinting like slow-mo sexy girl running out of the water no I'm screaming running yeah I'm not it's not for me I'm just there for a good time i'm there for the sun and the sand you know anyway it's not summer yet so this is just not nice to listen to what's there
Starting point is 00:07:12 to look forward to this time of year apart from spring and summer like in the winter it's like christmas is coming or it's like halloween bonfire night christmas now that christmas over fuck it bring it on bring on summer bring on june april i'll take it i really want to go to paris basically i've been watching emily in paris i think i've already said this recently i've been watching emily in paris i really want to go and i know it's not going to be anything like emily in paris but i really want to go um what else do i want to do where do i want to go this year oh my god guys I've been invited to a red carpet movie premiere and I'm not being funny imagine imagine me hello hi Brad Pitt yeah like what if he's there it's for his film coming out of Margot Robbie I was like what like
Starting point is 00:07:59 you know I did manifest that this would happen one, but I did imagine it would be for my movie. So, you know, wasn't quite clear on my manifestations, but I'll take it. Hi, Brad. Where's Margot? Is she here yet? Late. Classic Margot. Classic. Late again. I knew she would do this. Honestly, I knew she would do this. They're definitely not going to be there. It's literally not going to. Oh, I don't shut up I don't know I really want to go I really really really want to go because one of my goals this year is to do things that scare me and make me feel like you know those things that that you go well I'm not good enough for that or like well I'm not capable of that I can't cope with those feelings my goal this year is to just prove to myself that I can cope and I do want to do these things and feel the fear and do it anyway.
Starting point is 00:08:47 Do you know what I mean? It goes without saying. But I won't go alone. So I've had to find, I'm waiting to find out if I can bring a friend. So, yeah, if you guys see me on a red carpet, then, you know. Imagine I get there and I'm like, does anyone to take my picture i don't want to take my picture i'm like who the fuck are you i'm like this is actually my movie this is actually my movie i'm actually an actress it's really embarrassing that you don't know who i am
Starting point is 00:09:16 they'll be like excuse me excuse me can you move out of the way of the camera, please? No, I don't want my pictures taken because I've got a big nose. I've got about four degrees of my face that is photogenic. So I'll be stuck, turning, following the cameras. But there's, oh, just shut up, Leah. You're not going to end up going. I know what this, I know what I'm like. I get the invitation. like i'm going i'm going i'm literally not i want to i really want to but i won't go alone because who would do that do you know what i mean but i mean i wish i was brave enough to do that but i just realistically could
Starting point is 00:09:58 never but it would be so incredible and so fun and i'm like look at me getting these incredible opportunities how can you miss that how can you miss these opportunities but I physically I know I say feel the fear and do it anyway but would you tell me you'd go to a movie premiere on your own the answer is no I wouldn't I know I know it anyway enough about me let's get into the sex stories episode okay i feel like this goes about saying but i feel like if you're in a public place right now maybe pop in some headphones because this is going to be a very very explicit episode from the ones that i've already read so make sure there's no children around or, you know, if you don't have this relationship with your parents when you talk about this stuff, definitely make sure the parents aren't around. Pop some headphones in, take yourself into a private room, enjoy the
Starting point is 00:10:55 app. Do you know what I mean? Why does that sound so horny? Anyway, thank you guys so much if you sent these in. Thank you for trusting me with these stories. I am obsessed with them and I just can't wait to share them all. So I'm just going to get straight in there and kick her off. So I'm going to start with this one. Oh my God. This is going to set the tone for how explicit this episode is going to be. Okay. Listen, I'm a 25 year old, classy woman okay no i'm not and that's okay fuck him do you know what i mean so the first one is my boyfriend at the time finished in my ass you can see how this episode's gonna go do you know what i mean sex is natural get over it anyway my boyfriend at the time finished in my ass and i had to go back to
Starting point is 00:11:45 my flat with it dripping right was there no time to clean up like it was a it was a real rush you were like pants on down the street gotta go thanks for the anal love it honey next one first time given head and the cum came out of my nose i can't tell you how many of you guys have said this so if it brings you any sort of comfort you're really not alone i can't say it's happened to me again i'm gonna touch some wood right now because i feel like that would burn a bit you know like when you're sick and it comes out your nose it fucking burns i suppose that's full of like acid like stomach acid so who knows what's in cum though i suppose i'm sure it would burn a little bit yeah but anyway you're not alone next not a sex story but i accidentally sent a full nude to
Starting point is 00:12:31 my mum oh i mean it could have been worse like could have been your dad do you know what i mean like if you had to choose like gun to your head i'm sending a nude who's it going to mom or dad you'd pick your mom i mean realistically in an ideal situation neither but you know we always got to look on the bright side of life god oh right anyway next one my boyfriend called me his ex-girlfriend's name three months into our relationship while shagging i'm sorry you said boyfriend this boy is still your boyfriend no that's over for me three months in and you're calling me your ex's name during sex as well like i'd understand if it was just like a oh um megan sorry millie like fair enough i'll still be livid but like you could understand it's not like a sack of offense i mean especially if they've been together a long time but during sex are you joking oh my
Starting point is 00:13:33 god i bet that killed the mood i went to the toilet in some lingerie i go to leave the toilet and see his mom slammed the door no did she see you i mean i'm sure she did dying how mortifying is that me and my ex were having shower sex and he fully fell through the shower curtain and landed on his back with his legs in the air no i'm picturing like a proper v in the air like open leg v hairy legs willy hanging through bumhole this is why shower sex is so overrated just go to the bedroom okay oh my god this one actually scares me it was the first time with this guy
Starting point is 00:14:27 he had a candle next to the bed and accidentally set fire to a pillow no that actually is so scary like what if your head was on that pillow your hair gone frazzled fried destroyed moral of the story is do not put candles next to your bed never that's so scary imagine uh babe uh your bed's on fire imagine imagine imagine it set fire to your hair right and he's like babe you're on fire and you're like thanks he's like and he's like no i'm crying real tears my oh my god babe you're on fire thanks that is so funny i mean it's not like if you were on fire but oh my god baby you're on fire thank you okay next one oh this is crazy this next one is crazy he told me just before the deed that he had incurable herpes and didn't want to wrap it up right see i can't really level on that one
Starting point is 00:15:48 like imagine okay this is gonna sound a lot crazy it's gonna sound a lot crazy but i do have herpes it is incurable but i'd rather not wear a condom who in their right mind is gonna go yeah i get okay i guess i guess i can get on board with that yeah yeah you just give me incurable herpes darling just for tonight you know it'll be worth it i'm sure who would say yes to that i mean thank fuck you mentioned it but don't i don't know how many people he's going to get into bed with that idea to be honest um okay this is a longer one i love these right please keep this anonymous or i have no choice but to move countries forever okay so her name is joking okay i'll keep it short but sweet but
Starting point is 00:16:33 please don't judge oh my god never never so this was one of my very first boyfriends and while getting down to it and naked i thought i tried to be sexy and bend over in front of him so he could get a good view, if you know what I mean. So I bent over and sort of waited for him to take some action or respond with something, but I got nothing. So I turn around and he's just looking at me really dodgily. And I'm like, what's wrong? And he's, he's like super confused super confused no you're super confused she was super confused oh well done leah and his response permanently killed my dignity when he told me uh you've got a bit of shit on your ass no no because i i would actually never i would never have sex again i would never let anyone see me from behind ever again oh he didn't have to tell you like he didn't
Starting point is 00:17:34 have to tell you like he could have just been like oh sorry i just feel a bit like headed i don't think i can anything i can do like he didn't have to go um uh you've got a bit of shit on your ass no that no i'm not being funny that's got to be the most mortifying thing i've ever heard and i'm really sorry that happened to you but moral of the story is we're gonna wipe that ass clean baby yeah there's no like i anytime i'm going to have sex i always go for a clean, a little wash, you know. Oh, God. Maybe this is what we should all be doing. That's more for him. Okay.
Starting point is 00:18:12 Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection
Starting point is 00:18:29 so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.
Starting point is 00:18:45 I'm really sorry that happened to you. I hope you've recovered. Okay, first girls holiday in Magaluf. I got talking to a 30-year-old Italian man called Luigi. He spoke zero English. I still managed to sleep with him with no words being spoken between us. Wow, the sexual chemistry must have been crazy. We went back to his hotel despite him moaning like a girl oh god there was zero communication with her between us until he came to ejaculation in the top of his voice as the sperm left his penis he screamed mother of dragons this bloke couldn't even say hello an hour ago yeah followed him on instagram
Starting point is 00:19:27 and ever since he posted non-stop pictures of amelia clark in game oh my god in game of thrones so i think he had some sort of fantasy fetish going on in his head too good not to share considering it happened five years ago it still provides so many lols i mean that's fucking weird what did he say mother of dragons this is the thing like if you if we've not actually spoken any words we've not actually communicated at all you could be a mass murderer do you know what I mean I don't know who you are so to be honest a little game of thrones fetish is probably the best case scenario here you know well yeah there's that one okay when my boyfriend and i first started talking he kept bragging about how good he was
Starting point is 00:20:24 When my boyfriend and I first started talking, he kept bragging about how good he was. Sorry. That's not what it says. That's actually not what it says. He kept bragging about how he was such a good cook and wanted to make something for me. That is sweet. That's very sweet. He decided he wanted to make a homemade curry.
Starting point is 00:20:42 Okay, schoolboy error. Do you know what I mean? We don't make curry the first time. Okay, schoolboy error. Do you know what I mean? We don't make curry the first time. Okay. Whilst he was cooking, he said that there was something in my eye and tried to move it away, but my eyes started to burn as he was using chilies. Okay, so it's a spicy curry. Anyway, a while after we ate, we were in his room and things started to get frisky. He put his fingers inside me and it started to hurt and I asked him to stop saying sometimes that happened to me. So I said to just use his mouth instead. Next thing I know my vagina is on fire. I'm in so much pain and have to run to the bathroom to put a cold towel on myself. I then had to sit squatted in his shower with cold
Starting point is 00:21:27 water on my vagina oh no i was mortified as we had just started seeing each other but we just laugh about it now things just got spicy things got spicy just in the wrong way oh my god he said fire to your purse no not the burning chillies on the purse. Oh, I mean, I've done it when you're chopping chillies and you touch your eyeball and that's bad enough. Let alone the clitoris. Oh, honey. I mean, at least you're still together, like, and you have that story together. That's sweet.
Starting point is 00:22:02 How's that sweet? I mean, I hope your vagina's recovered i wonder how long it took for the burn-in to go away his mouth and that that curry must have been chilly like for it to be sat on his tongue like that ouch was it a good curry though was it worth it probably not okay next one hey leah love you in the pod me and my bestie listen religiously oh my god hey to you and your bestie i love you i have a funny sex story for you and the gang but first i feel like the story needs a little bit of context i have ms so i don't have much feeling slash sensation in my hands as one of my symptoms okay anyway i was hooking up with this guy and while I was giving him a blowjob, I got
Starting point is 00:22:46 tired and decided to just use my hand for a bit. Stunning. It was dark, so I couldn't see his dick. Anyway, after a few minutes... I feel bad. Like, can I laugh about that? Like, I'm not... I don't... I mean, you can definitely laugh about it, which means I can. It was dark, so I couldn't see his dick. Anyway, after a few minutes, I realized I wasn't even holding his dick. I was just rubbing my knuckles against it and wanking the air. The thing is, I feel like I shouldn't laugh,
Starting point is 00:23:33 because MS is not funny at all. The fact that you're laughing about this, I mean, it's funny. How did he, why didn't he tell you? Why didn't he just redirect your hand? Like, surely that would have just been the more normal thing for him to do
Starting point is 00:23:49 rather than just act like it was on your dick. On your dick? On his dick. Did he, was he silent? Or was he just pretending? Was he like, yeah, it feels really nice. Oh my God. I think that's my favourite story i don't know to bend to know for the shit on her ass is
Starting point is 00:24:10 is up there okay i'm never gonna get a professional acting job again or any any professional work ever again me and my boyfriend at the time were renting a holiday cottage it was our first proper week away and we lived with our parents at the time so we were really enjoying enjoying the week just us two one night things got a bit let's say spicy but i knew i had come on my period i told him that i'd come on but it didn't seem too heavy so we laid down a towel and had sex anyway oh my god when we stood up and looked the sheets were crisp white may i add absolutely covered capital letters covered in blood we put it straight in the washing machine but it wasn't coming out oh my god does blood stain to be fair i've been on my period and woke up in the morning. Like, you know when you come home in the middle of the night and it's on your bed sheet and then you wash it and it's fucked.
Starting point is 00:25:08 So, if it was covered. We only had a Sainsbury's nearby, so we bought a new sheet. It was a very snug fit, so the owners would definitely know it had changed, but we had no choice. Whoops. I mean, to be fair, I actually love that you changed it, because I reckon there's people out there that wouldn't. It would have looked like a mass murder, though, if you hadn't. Do you know what I'm saying? You know, it happens to us all, darling.
Starting point is 00:25:32 Just usually in our own homes, it doesn't really matter as much. Although I'm not really a period sex gal. But each their own. I totally get it that Tal does the job most of the time. I mean, not for you that time. Honey. Well, well done you for getting a new sheet. Love you for that. Love you and your boyfriend for that. Okay. Next one. Okay. What would have been my first ever time? Okay. This is a virginity story. My boyfriend at the time tried putting it in before he'd even got hard
Starting point is 00:26:05 shoving it in on flop christ literally just rushed straight into it no foreplay or nothing i hadn't even touched his willy yet oh my god i'm like get away from me what are you actually doing anyway he had like a semi and from where he tried forcing it into my dry vagina he snapped the main vein in the penis wait is that your your what's it called banjo what how does he snap a vein is that possible aren't the veins inside oh my god wait no if you snap a vein, you're dead. Surely. Surely.
Starting point is 00:26:48 Surely. Must have been the string that holds the foreskin up. No? I mean, I'll take your word for it, darling. Anyway. He bled everywhere. For a minute, we both thought it was coming from me. Literally bled everywhere.
Starting point is 00:27:01 Until I noticed it was dripping from him. Phoned an ambulance. Oh my god, what a traumatic virgin virginity i'd never have sex again i phoned an ambulance paramedics came in and a female paramedic had to bandage his willy up literally touching it before i even had the jealousy would take over i'd be like get your hands off my man's willy right now let the man bleed he wasn't even a virgin so you'd think he'd have known he had to be hard first and not try to stick it in in me whilst i was dry but the boy clearly couldn't wait great first experience of trying to lose my virginity surprised it didn't put me off to be honest i'm surprised it didn't put you off that's so traumatic holy shit did he learn did he like does he just go shoving it in still on the flop
Starting point is 00:27:54 hopefully not i mean is this boy alive he snapped a vein okay next one i gave my boyfriend a blow job he came in my mouth and i sneezed at the same time and it shot out of my nose how does he how do you sneeze at the same time like for me when i sneeze there's a build-up it's like the you know when you feel it coming oh my god i told you everyone's experienced the cum shearing out the the nose in these stories so but this one had a sneeze involved so I thought it was extra interesting all right must have burnt next one okay this is quite a nice one this isn't like a crazy story this is really sweet a few weeks ago me and my boyfriend were just having sex and I burst out crying when he finished
Starting point is 00:28:42 and I couldn't understand why all this love and emotion came over me it was a crazy experience you know what I actually know what you mean like there's been times where like you just want to cry like it's really overwhelming I can't explain it to you but then I think sometimes sex can be overwhelming you know like I see those tiktoks about um like a girl after sex and the guy just like sits back on his phone he's like yeah and the girl's like feeling a bit insecure like puts a hoodie on like sex can be overwhelming sometimes so i think that's really sweet maybe that was the love hormone just take it over you know what i mean okay my boyfriend smacked his head on the shelf above our heads whilst we was having sex and passed out i can't tell you how many of you guys have stories of people passing out in sex
Starting point is 00:29:31 why so many people would end up unconscious during sex be careful out there guys told a guy i was on my period so no sex he screamed at me kicked my bed and left that is literally like a little boy being told he can't have no sweets because he didn't finish his dinner he's kicked the bed you know that tiktok where the boy goes to his room he's like i'm gonna kill myself you don't do you guys see what i mean when he like strangles himself he's like i'm gonna kill myself that was literally him ick thank god you were on your period and didn't end up having sex with him because look at him gross gross gross gross oh my god okay next one it says a guy kept asking if i liked what he was doing as that's how he did things with his ex oh i'm sorry imagine you have sex when he's like
Starting point is 00:30:28 is that okay because molly liked it like that is that this is how this is how you do it with molly is that is do you like that it's like okay shut up if actually get off me what a fucking freak. Okay, this last one that I'm going to end on has got to be in the top three. Okay? I think my top three are the wank in the air, the bending over piece of shit on her ass, and this one. I will give you a warning. It's anal. And you guys know what comes of anal most of the time in these stories so just brace yourselves for this finisher okay me and my boyfriend got back from a night out absolutely smashed decided to have anal and he decided to video it lol so once he went to sleep i went on his phone
Starting point is 00:31:28 and watched halfway through a piece of shit oh my god i actually feel sick oh my god i actually feel sick flew out of my ass i don't know if I can put this out there. I'll never be taken seriously in my career again. Oh my God. No, do you know what? If Charlotte Crosby can come back from the things she did on Geordie Shore, and I absolutely love and adore Charlotte Crosby, then I can tell your stories.
Starting point is 00:32:01 Listen, they're not my stories. Yeah. Okay. Carrying on. It flew they're not my stories. Yeah. Okay. Carrying on. It flew out of her ass and onto his tummy. I actually don't have any words. I'm not finished, by the way. I actually don't have any words.
Starting point is 00:32:20 Carrying on. It says, I was mortified, so I deleted the video and pretended it never happened. I mean, surely he saw it or felt it. Oh, no. Anyway, God knows where that piece of shit ended up. I have told him about this now. Why would you do that you could have taken this to your grave you should have okay no it says i've told him about this now and we just laugh but oh my god at the time i was dying enjoy sorry about the mention of poop right more of the story is don't do fucking anal guys, it always ends in tears,
Starting point is 00:33:09 I actually can't, I actually can't, can I upload this, yeah, do you know what, people talk about this stuff in private, but when I talk about it's like that's someone's daughter that's someone's daughter like fuck off and you know what my podcast isn't for youngins so if you're listening to this that's your choice darling got a problem there you got a problem with that just turn it off and whatever you do do not leave me a bad rating and review because it's everything to me this is my life so why did you do that to me yeah i wouldn't do that to any i wouldn't do that to you oh god i can't lie guys this has been one of my favorite episodes i don't think i've ever laughed this much in a in a podcast episode there's been tears down my face like real tears streaming oh my god right okay you can probably take your headphones out now guys
Starting point is 00:34:08 okay let's wrap up the episode okay everyone let's take a little breather um from those stories and i'm just going to manifest that none of these things happen to any of us or any of you guys ever again and i'm just going to manifest that none of these things happen to any of us or any of you guys ever again and i just want you to all have beautiful safe nice sex okay oh wow okay you guys did great well done today great work everybody be safe out there jesus i don't actually have any like i don't have any stories does that make me lucky i feel like it does like i don't nothing comes to mind where i'm like oh my god i will never live that down like if any of these stories that i just read out because i did pick all of the most crazy ones and if any of those ones happened to me
Starting point is 00:35:02 i wouldn't be able to forget them so the fact that I can't think of anything makes me feel like I've scraped that but there's still time I'll let you guys know I'll keep you updated if anything like that ever happens to me but I've learned a few things from these stories you know there's definitely some things I won't be doing anal being one of them and putting a candle next to my bed being another and having sex after a hot curry night no thank you do you know what I mean anyway thank you guys so much for listening I hope you really enjoyed this episode I absolutely loved it I've had a fantastic time what are you guys up to this weekend what date is it like this is the time of year I don't know what month it is.
Starting point is 00:35:46 It's so easy to know. It's the 6th. Anything significant? Whose birthday is it? Oh, my God. That's one thing I've never thought about on this podcast. It's someone's birthday today. Every day, actually.
Starting point is 00:36:00 But whose birthday is the 6th of Jan? Happy birthday to you, darling. That is so weird. I've never actually thought about this that makes me sound really stupid i've never thought about the fact that it's someone's birthday every day but like you could be listening to this on your birthday i don't know why anybody would listen to me on their birthday maybe you're getting ready this is what you chose to listen to have a great night have great safe sex with no traumatic stories with someone you trust oh what am i doing this weekend oh i've got family coming down i'm really excited
Starting point is 00:36:37 we're gonna like have a couple of drinks play some games have some catch-ups i'm really looking forward to this weekend actually what um should we do next friday i i do love the the blank episodes so any ideas from send them my way because i feel like i'm running out i feel like i've covered like most of the big ones that we can cover but there's definitely ones we can revisit and do like a part two like the anxiety episode part two the sex episode part two because there's so much more to it do you know what i mean so let me know if there's a particular one that you enjoyed that you want a little bit more on let me let me know i love you guys so much thank you for listening to this episode thank you for listening to any episode if this is your first one welcome please stick around we love you so much if you've listened to every single episode i love you so much please
Starting point is 00:37:22 never leave me and oh my god my voice at the moment is so gross at least my illness is gone although i am getting a cough now which is just gorgeous but anyway i hope you guys are feeling all right i hope you're feeling good the start of the year is always a weird one so i hope this might have cheered you up or just distracted you from anything that you're feeling at the moment uh i'm sure it did i can't possibly think about anything else now probably for the next 24 hours so thanks for that but anyway sorry about my voice i love you guys so much have the best weekend if you're going out be safe drink responsibly if you're having sex be safe use protection don't text your ex text me instead and i'll talk to you on tuesday for
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