Leah on the Line - Bonus 37: ASK ME ANYTHING!

Episode Date: March 30, 2023

Hey babes! Today I am sat answering all of your juicy questions! From dream proposals, to my opinions to second chances in relationships, to 5 year plans, opinions on MAFSA to the story of my job on a cruise ship and more. Thank you so so much to everyone that sent in your questions and thank you to every single one of you for listening. I love you all so so much! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Friday. I can't shout too much today. My mom's asleep and I really don't want to wake her up. So no yelling from me. A lot of you will be pleased to hear. How are you? I hope you've all had an amazing week. I had a fun day of making an Easter bonnet today, right? But apparently that's not really a thing everywhere. Like my boyfriend's not really heard of the Easter bonnet thing. So let me know if this is a thing where you're from right but like when I was a kid you have to like buy a hat and decorate it and we just put like little chicks on it put like little mini easter eggs on it and wear it to school and someone would win never me shock I never

fucking won anything but like the more people I talk to about it they're like what are you talking about i'm like it's easter bonnet day it's what day on so tomorrow i'm going to my niece and nephew's easter bonnet parade i'm literally picturing like like a louis vuitton catwalk you best believe my niece and nephew are winning okay we made these hats that we put like green tissue paper all around like the what's it called like the the edge of the hat what's that called i'm sure it has a name like the lip and we covered the whole like round part the part that goes around your head with cotton balls like a bunny put some bunny ears over it and put a face on it and it's like a big bunny head on your head honestly i would die like i would never be seen

dead in that in school i was like put a fucking couple of chicks on it and call it day mom but it's because that's what everyone else done but my niece she is like everyone else they've got little chicks little eggs i want something real please guys i want a real project she didn't make it we made it you're meant to make it but we're like we got this while she was at school all day today me and my sister were breaking our backs out on the floor making these fucking easter bonnets i wish i could show you a picture of it but it's a podcast i can't but it was fun. I actually enjoyed it until the end. Mine was kind of shit compared to my sister's.

It was fucking annoying. Like, we're making the same thing, and ours is good, and mine was kind of shit. But anyway, I hope you're all good. How are you? I love you. I miss you so much. How's my lisp sounding? I changed aligners to my next set of trays, and I feel like my lisp is even worse and

also it's like I don't know it feels totally different in my mouth so last night I must have been like sticking my tongue right into the edge of the aligner because I've woke up with that ulcer on my tongue why is having an ulcer like the most irritating thing I don't want to speak I don't want to eat but I do that thing right anyone else like this when i've got like an ulcer or any anything like that i like putting pain on it like i had salt and vinegar crisps earlier and you best believe i was literally burning my ulcer with the salt vinegar crisp and i remember as a kid like when i had a wobbly tooth i would just fuck about with it all day because it's like a pleasure pain and is that normal not too sure but like when something is like sore like but to be fair one

thing I won't do is I will not press a bruise people do that apparently like when you've got a bruise you'll like press it honestly bruises make you feel fucking sick I hate bruises they really cringe me out but people press them apparently that's a thing what the fuck anyway today's episode i put up a story on my instagram and said friday episode time like what should we do um and you guys sent in a load of options which i'm so grateful for thank you so much for all of your amazing ideas and i picked the two most popular ones which was a ask me anything and a never have I ever so I put on my stories in which one should we do and it was a split dead split of 50 50 vote exactly 50 50 so what I have decided is we'll do the ask me anything today because earlier the ask me anything was winning

by one percent so I was like right okay that's what we're gonna do we'll do the ask me anything today and next week we'll do the would you rather so get up get thinking up of some amazing would you rather I've got some really fucked up ones that I could just never do on the pod like me and my sister have quite a sick twisted sense of humor so like we will say them to each other but honestly if I said the things we say in private like the would you rathers on this podcast you'd actually think there's something wrong with me like you'd be like Leah how on earth do you expect me to choose out either of those things but part of me is just dying to tell you all these would you rathers but you literally you'd probably think there's something immediately alarming about me and my mental health

and you'd be correct but anyway we're gonna do an ask me anything today so I popped up a story and I said ask me anything no limits so I have screenshotted the most popular questions and some of my favorites and yeah I love you guys let's get into it thank you so much for listening to Leah on the line remember to leave a rating on apple podcast and spotify and hit the notification bell you can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leah on the line at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leah on the line and at leah levain to see visual clips of the podcast i love you enjoy the episode okay everyone i love these little casual chats that we have i feel like it's a really nice way

for us to build on our friendship you know let's just get a little bit closer get to know each other just that little bit more you know so thank you so much to everyone that sent in questions i'm really looking forward to having this chat with you all today is my lisp quite annoying to listen to it's not really a lisp but it's i don't sound the same what i have discovered is i can do a gnarly scouse accent with my line is in for some reason like I'm just really fucking good at it ah my phone just gave me electric shock what the fuck mate is that alarming oh my god it just shot me in the leg anyway yeah so let's get into the questions thank you so much to everyone that sent them in

kicking them off with this one what's your dream proposal if you want to get engaged one day now I don't really know because I feel like no matter what I think about in my head I'm like no I don't want that so um my boyfriend's really got his work out for him. But, you know, I don't know because I don't want a restaurant proposal. It's just not for me personally. Like I'd be like, get the fuck up now. Get the fuck up now. We're doing this again. We're doing this again.

The office, no. You better be tying your fucking shoelace, darling. Because there should not be a ring coming out of your pocket any second. I'm telling you that now we're in a restaurant. It's just not for me. I don't want that sort of attention like i don't know it would cringe me out i think i'd be like oh really like you can't really think of anything else but then i think about like do i want something really private i'm like well not really like i am a bit of a leo do you mean like what there's no one around there's no one around

get the fuck up now he takes me to this beautiful beach totally private got the whole place kitted out candles everywhere beautiful sheet on the floor will you marry me written out in rose petals I'll literally look around like where is everybody but when I say that like I am kind of joking like part of me thinks that would be fucking amazing to be fair so if I had to pick I do think I would like it to be in private I don't know why that's making me laugh so much I don't know basically you you won't be able to win maybe we could do this twice you know maybe we could do this again I'll act really surprised we'll do this again in front of all our friends and family and I'll act shocked

this again I'll act really surprised we'll do this again in front of all our friends and family and I'll act shocked no I don't know I think I'd love to be on holiday gorgeous and tan make sure I've got my nails done you know beautiful sunset beautiful dress on the beach so yeah I guess I do want it to be private and alone but yeah yeah no no I think about it I would like it to be alone because then I think if people were there I'd probably be a bit like embarrassed I'd be like oh god I'm gold so yeah now I think about it that's what I would like please which actually brings me on to my next question actually while I'm on that topic can you guys send me any of your engagement stories and pictures because I'm a bit of a sucker for an engagement I won't lie they're all over my for you page because

I'm constantly liking them I'm watching them to the end and then watching it again so please fire any engagement pictures my way because I do I do live for an engagement what would be your dream wedding now this is really tough for me because I really am not sure like obviously I'm a stage girl like I want to be on stage like so you'd think I'd want this big fuck off wedding and I think people would expect that from me as well but I don't think I would like I don't I really don't know I honestly I genuinely genuinely haven't thought about it and that is the truth like when i try and think about it there's so many things i think no like no but then when i think oh it would be nice though like the first dance that would be nice and then the other part of me's like

no fucking first dance what the fuck sidestep in but then the other part of me would be like five six seven eight and we'd come up some fucking sick choreography do i mean so honestly my honest answer haven't thought about it what are your dream weddings this is a tough one because i would love a a beach wedding but then i think standing on my heels in the sand walking on the sand and heels i'm not wearing a better foot, have you seen my toes, no, there's a reason you haven't seen my toes, but one thing I'm trying to do is embrace my toes, they're not my favourite thing on my body, but I am trying to embrace it, because I am who I am, I can't change my toes, that's one thing you can't get done,

is that a thing, can you get like, you know you can get a nose job, can you get a toe job, because I'll be up for it if you can, nah, who's fucking toes do you know what I mean so silly such a silly thing to be paranoid about anyway how am I talking about my toes I'm meant to be talking about wedding um yeah I'd love a holiday wedding but the the obvious issue with that is budget like we're gonna fly everyone out no and everyone gonna pay to come on holiday for your wedding no so you'd have to you'd have to pay for it so yeah maybe I'll get married when I'm 50 save up starting now okay next question opinions on second chances in a relationship so I am a firm believer of second chances I'll be honest with you so I don't believe in perfect people I don't believe

in perfect choices I don't believe in being flawless so I will say that it obviously depends on what this person has fucking done to me before I decide I'm gonna forgive them or give them a second chance but yeah on the most part I do believe in second chances because I've heard a billion success stories where it's like yeah you know this did happen but we got through it and that would never happen again and I know that so I don't know it's a tough one when it comes to like cheating and stuff it's like no I can't forgive cheating for me no I can't but if it's like you've really fucking let me down or really hurt me I I don't know I'm not saying like yeah I've already decided I'm gonna forgive somebody if they ever fucked me over but it's more like the question is do I believe in second chances and and yeah I do I do believe in second chances I've heard so many success stories so that's what makes

me believe in them your views on your boyfriend liking other girls pics, I need advice. So I feel like I have mentioned this a few times, but you guys know, the answer is I don't fucking like it, babe. I don't like it. And I'll make that clear. But to be fair, I've never been in that position and I've never been in a relationship where they're doing that. So yeah, I don't know. For me, it's's like what the fuck are you trying to get from this like what is that other than a statement saying you're fit do you know what I mean like I fancy you or you look sexy or I'm attracted to you and fair enough I'm not I'm not you know naive enough to think people aren't attractive, you know. You can probably appreciate someone's good looking.

That's absolutely fine. You don't need to make a statement and let them know and let everybody else know by liking the picture. That's just genuinely how I feel about it. But what I do think is there are so many people that have no issue with it so my views on it is whatever your boundaries are um and whatever makes you feel disrespected is totally situational and down to you as a couple and as an individual so me personally in my relationship no I don't like it but other people I totally totally see their point of view whether it's just Instagram it's not that deep so it is down to you and your boundaries I guess okay next question what do you want to have achieved in the next five years this is hard

this is really hard because if you'd asked me this five years ago I would have said something very different to what I want for myself now do you know what I mean so I think my main goal in life not just for the next five years is health and happiness and anything else is a bonus and that's the truth so you know when I talk about it kind of sounds like I'm not very ambitious but I'm very ambitious but when I look at my future I'm just so appreciative of being happy and healthy. So if I think about the next five years, if I'm happy and healthy and my family and people I love and care about are happy and healthy, I'm fucking over the moon. I'm winning. I can, I can deal with it. Do you know what I mean? But all the other little things, I think I definitely like to be more financially fucking stable and

financially make better decisions um have more independence and financially I mean because like I spoke about recently when I was at uni when I was young in 18 to 20 21 22 even I was just so dumb with money I didn't think about the future I got myself in a real mess like I wasn't like bloody come on I'm not like in fucking debt or anything but I didn't have any savings I didn't think about my future I just spent the money that I had and I didn't put anything away so now it's more like right we I can't live my life anymore like I'm 25 years old I mean I've got a future to think about at this point in my life so yeah I think when it comes to the next five years if I'm happy and healthy I'm over the moon and winning life anything else I can deal with but yeah I'd like to be in a

financial position to like have a house and think about a family one day do you know what I mean like I don't know if I'm gonna want to have my family within the next five years who knows you literally never know but um to even be thinking about it and be in a position where I'm like I can do this let's do this that would be amazing um to have amazing relationships with my family and my friends obviously really in my relationship as well um and yeah for all of you to be happy and healthy as well that's my life goals okay this one's a good one what are your opinions on married at first sight australia oh my goodness don't even get me bloody started so i it's really hard for me to talk about because I'm

actually ahead so like I said recently I've watched it on on a website called bflix I had a few messages asking me how that's spelt so it's literally the letter b flicks like the end of Netflix b flicks I think it's dot gg you will get a load of pop-ups okay you will just keep crossing them off and then as soon as the video starts playing the pop-up stop, it's just getting to the video. It's almost like an escape room trying to get to the video. So, but once you're in, you're in anyway. So I'm kind of ahead. So I can't say too much because I don't want to spoil anything. And I don't know where you guys are up to. I think from talking to my sister the Jessie and Claire oh my god situation I mean it is a situation to be fair situation has just come out where she kissed what's his face Adam

um and listen I fucking love Jessie and Claire I don't know if that's a popular opinion or not. I absolutely love Jessie and Claire. I listened to Ella and Dom's podcast with Harrison. And it was a massive eye opener, to be honest. Now, don't get me wrong. We have to take everything Harrison says with a pinch of salt. Because he could just be lying for his fucking teeth let's be honest but his version of events is very different to what we see on the show and Ella and Dom actually back him up they're not his biggest fans but they do back him up when they say this show is highly highly edited so what they are known to do and all of the cast speak out about them doing

is they will take someone's reaction so just someone's face like let me give an example right say I'm on the show and someone says to me oh my god my husband told me that he doesn't fancy me last night and I would obviously pull a face like what a fucking dick like you can imagine my face what a fucking dick right and then they'll take that clip of me reacting to that and they'll put it to an hour later where a girl's just gone yeah I feel like me and my husband are really happy I think he he's an amazing guy. And then they'll put my reaction to a whole different conversation with a whole different girl in that clip in that moment. So it looks like she's gone. Yeah, we're really happy. I think he's amazing. And I've pulled a face. It's

like, what a fucking load of shit. Do you know what I'm saying? Does that make any sense? It's hard for me to give an example when you can't see my face. But yeah, they all back that up that that's what the editors of maths do and I don't know if you guys have heard but some voice notes from Bronte came out where she before she went on the show she found out that Harrison was going on the show and she was like, oh, you know what? I'm going to play this so hard. And she was like, I'm going to pull him to the side and just be like, look, we can be friends. And we'll just put on an act for the cameras. Like she literally says she knows Harrison's going on the show.

She knows who he is. She doesn't like him. And they're going to put on an act for the cameras. She doesn't like him. And they're going to put on an act for the cameras. And apparently in this podcast with Dominella, Harrison said he had no idea any of it was fake. He genuinely liked her.

We have to just take it over the Pinterest. I'll remember. He genuinely liked her. And they manipulated how he came across because they like to create a villain in every show, which I will give them that they do. a villain in every show which I will give them that they do um and yeah they took out any sort of context of Bronte being a bad girl like at all whatsoever um and they took out any content of Harrison being like a relatable funny down-to-earth nice guy and they told the story of their relationship through Bronte's eyes so whether that's true or not who fucking knows we will never know but it was interesting because

now when I'm watching it I'm like it kind of makes sense like I don't know if it's come out yet I don't know if wait do you guys I don't know I don't want to spoil it, I don't want to spoil it, but if you guys don't know, there's an issue about a phone number, and Harrison, and a phone number, right, and Bronte is like, I don't care, like, I don't even care about that, like, I don't care, and when you watch it now, you're like, maybe the reason you don't care is because it's all fake anyway, and like, your relationship isn't even real because you would care like if you like that guy you would care right but i don't know if that's come out yet so i don't want to speak in too much detail but i'm well into it as you can see i've gone steaming ahead on bflix and i'm on episode 22

i think now um i don't know what you guys are on but I think maybe I'm like probably like seven episodes ahead or something I'm not entirely sure but I encourage you all to steam ahead because it gets so good I genuinely think this might be my favorite season ever I don't I didn't think anything could top the season with Ines you guys remember Ines right that was crazy and then I didn't think anything could talk oh my god I'm joking I'm joking and I didn't think anything could top the season with Dom the last I think it was the last one the most recent Australian one with Dominella who is the podcast I'm talking about I think it's called you can sit with us really really good um yeah I didn't think anything atop that but this is just

drama left right and center left right and center there is something new something gets resolved next episode it's like jesus christ give these people a break so yeah let me know all of your opinions i go live on tiktok every now and then and this seems to be our favorite topic on tiktok live so if you ever catch me on tiktok live let's talk about it okay next question is any advice on starting a pod so my biggest piece of advice to anyone starting any social media let alone a podcast but specifically a podcast is you have to make sure you're passionate about whatever it is you're talking about, whatever your niche is, even podcasts in general, like you have to be passionate about it because you're not good. Well, you might, you might, it does definitely happen, but there's a, there's a

chance, there's a chance I'm choking again. Sorry guys, I'm so annoying to listen to. There's a chance that you're not, it's not going to blow up straight away do you know what i mean like there's a massive chance that it could and oh my god it'd be amazing if it does but there's also a chance that it won't and it's going to be a slow growth process um and if you're not passionate about it that will be really frustrating and it will be like fucking hell like why is it why am i not getting all these numbers and do you know i mean and why aren't enough people listening but if you're passionate about it those 50 listeners 100 listeners 5 000 listeners however quick or slow that grows they're going to mean a lot to you because you're doing it because you love it and

the listeners are just like oh my god a company people actually listening do you know what I mean so if you're passionate about it you will have what it takes to just persevere and just be resilient and just keep going and keep going and keep going and put your heart and soul into it because also I think people people know when you're not when you're not really doing it because you love it. I think people know that. So yeah, that's probably my main piece of advice and get a good quality microphone for sure. Because I find it really annoying listening to a podcast. Like if it's recorded on Zoom and one of the people doesn't have a microphone

and it's like all echoey, like I can't listen to it. For some reason, my brain can't process the words they're saying. I literally can't bear it it's really weird but yeah there's that one I love you and good luck you have everything it takes send me a link to it I promise I will definitely listen send me a link okay next one tell us your cruise story time and why you didn't like it I'm so interested okay so to anyone that doesn't know I feel like I might have mentioned it before. I have, I worked on a cruise ship. Well, I didn't, but we'll get into it. So as you guys already know, I grew up doing musical theatre. That was literally my life and everything I did since I was a teenager. And in 2019, I had an audition. I'm pretty sure I have told the in-depth story of my

Royal Caribbean audition right but so I won't tell it again but basically I did an audition it was a few rounds long it was for it wasn't for a specific ship it was just for Royal Caribbean casting to sort of get on their books right and I was successful they literally told me on I think it was the third or fourth round of auditions they told me on the day they were like yeah they love you you're on the books I was like what I'm going on a cruise ship I'm going on a cruise ship and let me tell you cruise ships pay very fucking nicely especially Royal Caribbean um so I was thinking oh my god finally I've sought my bloody life out. I mean, this is, this is the break I needed. This is the opportunity I needed. Um, I'd just been in London for two years. Well, I was back and forth from London and home, but I was spending summers in London doing shows unpaid, like just literally doing it because I needed the experience and

because I loved it. And then this is the first professional job that I booked. And I was over the moon and so excited. Single. I was literally like, this is perfect. Like, I have no attachments at home. I'm free. I can run. I can go. The world's my oyster, right?

And he said to me on the day, we'll be in touch with you in two weeks with your ship. Like, what ship you're going to be on and what your role is going to be and I was like gorgeous can't wait like I'll get bikini shopping I'll get bikini shopping and two weeks went by and I was like hmm like no one's reached out to me but I had this weird feeling in my gut where I was like I'm going like it was really weird because even on the last day of auditions I was like I know I'm getting this job I know and bearing in mind if anyone does musical theatre you know you get a billion no's and one yes you're so you expect the no's you're so used to getting to get into the next round get into the next round recall after recall and then it's thank you that's all we need from you today and it's like it's very rare you actually can book a job it's there's the competition's crazy

but with this one I was like I just have this weird feeling like I know I'm getting this job. And two weeks went by and I was like, that's really weird. Like no one's reached out to me. I haven't heard a single thing. Like when am I going on a ship, babe? Yeah. And anyway, because I knew I was literally online shopping for summer clothes um bikinis whatever whatever I just was manifesting it I suppose when I look back and then it got to quite a while I think

actually I think after the two weeks I reached out yes okay I remember I reached out I sent an email and I said hi like somebody told me on the day that I was going to hear two weeks later like just check in if there is there something I need to do like like what's happening basically and he replied and he was like oh I'm really sorry like I think he's told you the wrong information because we've had a lot of emails um today saying the exact same thing so basically it doesn't mean you're guaranteed a place on a ship it just means that you are on our books now so when we're hiring we're gonna look at these books and pick someone from it and I was like right okay back to the fucking bar jobs I go

then do you know what I mean but anyway I was living in London at this time and because I just knew I was gonna get it I was like I'm moving back to Somerset like I I know I'm just going to be back home for a little bit I know I'm going to hear hear from Royal like any day now I just knew it was really weird to know and bearing in mind I'm very like I'm not confident I've never been to drama school and especially at this point in my career I was so new to the audition world but for some reason there's something in my gut that was like I just know I'm gonna get this job and I moved home to Somerset and I was still buying my summer clothes just relaxing enjoying my life knowing I'm gonna

get this opportunity like relax and I remember saying to my mum I was like it's really weird because I know I'm gonna get it and my mum was like yeah I know it like I know it as well I can just feel it that you're gonna get it and I was like yeah but it's pretty weird because I can see myself getting that news you know I can see myself hearing you got the job but I can't see myself envision myself on a cruise ship right so we'll come back to that point and at that time my mom was like oh that's your imposter syndrome like you're doubting yourself and I was like no no it's not that it's not that at all like I just genuinely can't see it I really can't imagine it like for some reason when I close my eyes and think about

it I can't see it so yeah um and then it got to January and I got a call no it's actually an email I got an email with a job offer it was a ship called brilliance of the seas it was lead vocalist female lead vocalist um nine months you live in Miami for six weeks doing all your rehearsals at Royal Caribbean HQ and then you get on your cruise ship and you sail around the world my cruise was incredible to be honest like it was all around the caribbean um i can't actually remember but it was like a lot of some cruise ships is just like around europe and stuff but i was really like excited because mine was like oh my god i'm going around the fucking caribbean like i'm gonna swim with pigs in the bahamas honey yeah and from there it was like, you need formal dresses. You need jazz shoes. You need

a strapless nude bra. You need a strapless black bra. You need a nude thong. You need a black thong. You need, they sent me a whole list of shopping that I need to do, right? And bless my mum. She's like, right, okay. Well, we're going to have to get it, aren't we? And she helped me and I'll forever be grateful for my mum like she will just always make sure I've got what I need if I'm in a situation where I can't afford it she's always just like let's do this right because bearing in mind I've been living in London working a random shitty bar job doing an unpaid show like I was financially just scraping the barrel right just trying to anyone trying to do musical theater you get what I mean yeah so anyway I get all the stuff I need and then the time's approaching and

I'm getting anxious about it and I'm like that's normal I'm sure it's normal I'm sure it's normal and I got out there and I landed in Florida in Miami and I had this feeling of just like, this is not right for me. Like, it's so weird. I had this feeling of like, I don't, I'm not excited. I'm not excited. I'm not looking forward to this. I want to go home. I want to go home. And I hate that feeling of like, I've signed a contract to say, I belong on your ship. I belong to you for the next nine months. And that terrified me. As I've said on this pod loads of times, I'm such a homegirl. Like, I'm so needy with my mum. Like, I always need my mum's support, even just to know my mum's around. It takes anxiety away from me, right? Yeah, I'm 25. But anyway anyway so I was like right okay just try not to overthink it

and I got picked up by my car at the airport I got dropped at our apartments because all rural Caribbean um and celebrity cruise line performers we all live in this massive building together it's not massive building it's just a big building flats together so we get there I met Zane who is my favorite human being on the planet still to this day like literally I love you Zane if you listen I love you so much and we all went to our um apartments and you get paired with your roommate and one of my roommates was this amazing girl who's from the UK and bearing in mind there was only two people that I met that were from the UK, so I, yeah, I felt a bit, sorry, I felt a bit like, just out of place, like, I just felt like, oh, God, what am I doing here, and everyone's like, oh, my God, where are you from? It's like, oh,

everyone's like, oh my God, where are you from? It's like, oh, I'm from Wisconsin. It's like, oh my God. I'm like, I'm from Somerset. Yeah, small town in Somerset. But anyway, sorry about my voice, guys. Yeah, one of my flatmates was this amazing girl and she's done cruises for 10 years. And I was like, oh my God, this is going to be amazing. She's done this for 10 years. She must love it, you like this is going to be amazing she's done this for 10 years she must love it you know and there's another girl there was another girl called Katie who again became like my best friend there like she was amazing anyway the rehearsals start and the show was not my cup of tea like you guys if you follow me on tiktok you know i like to sing pop rock musicals like i like mean girls ren in the heights waitress like i like poppy musicals right and we were singing like broadway broadway everybody's happy like it was just not for me um and my choreographer scared the living shit out of me

listen i i'm a singer that can move okay if you know you know and i had a solo where i had to learn choreography which is fine i've done choreography in every show i've ever done do you know what i mean teach me the choreography I'll get it but he was terrifying because there was like 10 dancers and four vocalists so we're made up of mostly dancers right and there's featured vocalists and lead vocalists two featured vocalists one girl one guy two lead vocalists one girl one guy and the lead vocalists are more of the singer dancers and the lead vocalists are more of the singer dancers and the featured vocalists are more just like straight singers so for some reason I was hired as a fucking singer dancer someone tell me why I'm not sure maybe I just fucking smashed it in my audition who knows

anyway and my choreographer just scared the life out of me to the point where I was in tears like it was a lot for me I was away from home I was really overwhelmed I didn't know if it was right for me and then I've got this guy like screaming in my face sorry about my coughing oh my god like telling me that I need to sing on the treadmill because like I'm just not fit enough to be dancing and singing I was like I've done this 50 times in a row obviously I'm out of breath and I broke down in tears and he just we don't have time for this we don't have time for this and I was like oh my god like I'm not cut out for this like and it made me doubt everything and I was just like I want to go

home I want to go home and then it's crazy because then COVID came around right so as you can imagine I'm not having the best time I'm really enjoying the lifestyle listen living in Miami was the best it was fucking amazing and Royal Caribbean they really look after you they really really do like they're lovely my choreographer not sure I mean oh my god I'm so sorry all this coughing must be so annoying he's very talented I'm very good at what he does we were just not compatible when it came to working together he he scared the life out of me but anyway so I had the best time living with my friends and living in Miami and stuff like that my vocal teacher my vocal coach was the most incredible guy like he was from New York and he was so nice and he was so patient and he

was just like you guys are killing it like keep going I was like you're amazing like he made me feel really comfortable and he was really patient with me because he knew that I felt really shy when I got there and he didn't push me like he was just like I know I know you're gonna get it like you're gonna come out your comfort zone and what I would do is like I would be really shy like in the rehearsals with the group um and then I'd go home go back to my apartment belt it all out and then I'd come back to do it with all the dancers and I just belt it all out so he sort of just wasn't concerned because he was like she's getting it she's gonna go away for an hour she's gonna smash it and then she's gonna come back and she's gonna smash it but anyway COVID comes around

right and I'm hearing about it I'm hearing about it and i'm like i could go home there i could get sent home here and everyone else is like do you think we're gonna get sent home do you think we're gonna go and i was like oh hopefully not hopefully not like oh my god please but um yeah so kova comes around and there's all these rumors going around the building like oh this ship's been sent home and this ship's been sent home and people were just gone out on the boat and they'd been quarantined on the boat in the middle of the fucking ocean and i was like i'm not getting on that fucking shit mate i'm not getting like i'm claustrophobic darren do you know what i mean so i was just like sort of going with the flow um knowing that there

was a possibility that I could get sent home made me feel very relaxed and I was like that should speak volumes to me do you know what I mean like I clearly am not right for this or at least not right now in my life so we then got get told okay everyone is coming for a meeting tomorrow morning and we're like everyone's like oh my god like do you think they're gonna send us home and i was just like hopefully not hopefully not we're going to the meeting and they're like okay um the u.s government has introduced a new law that says you're not allowed to be in a room full of 10 people or more and i was like there's 13 of us in this room right now as we

speak and then they're like legally we cannot go ahead with rehearsals for the time being for the foreseeable and i was like so you're telling me i get to live in miami and sunbathe for a bit gorgeous and i was like oh no i was having such a good time so we all got sent back to our apartments I fucking got my sun oil out I was bathing in that sun with my headphones in listening to my podcast on FaceTime to my mum like might be coming home she was like oh okay I think she knew deep down I was happy about that idea and then we get called in for a meeting the following day bearing in mind the night before the day before they were like we're not gonna send you home do not no one panic we're not gonna send you home and i was like thank god for that thank god for that

but anyway i was just more like the way this is all looking on the news you there's no way you're gonna put us on that cruise ship the industry is going down for a bit do you know what i mean i felt so bad for everyone that just got on their ship i was like fuck i am so lucky that we are even just a week behind you right now so anyway we then um got called in the next day and they were like okay so we have been um advised by the government to postpone basically and I was like oh no what does that mean and they were like so we are we you are all going to be sent on the next flight home and everyone was in tears honestly I was like yes I mean oh listen I am so grateful for the opportunity it was I had fun I had fun but it was not right for me at that time in my life it was not right I think I was too young as well like I was actually like 21 or 22 I think I was 22 and I just was like I'm not I'm not ready and bear in mind there were 18

year olds out there that were loving life couldn't drink though not out in public anyway and I was just like no I just knew this ain't for me this is not for me I don't want to do this so when I got sent home I was so relieved I was so relieved um and they were saying like we're gonna get you back out as soon as possible and in my head I thought do you know what I need to go home and take a deep breath because now I know what it's like now I know what I can expect and also no one's forcing me to go back so I was a bit like I'm gonna go home be with my family you know especially with COVID I was I was scared like when I heard that it got to the UK I was like what the fuck is'm going to go home, be with my family, you know, especially with COVID. I was scared. Like when I heard that it got to the UK, I was like, what the fuck is going on here?

Like I wanted to be with my family, right? So as soon as I found out I was being sent home, I was really relieved and really happy. And then, yeah, we literally, bearing in mind all the flights were fucked, okay? And everyone I know, every single person that was on my ship ship they all had like the most hectic connecting flights like one of my friends had to stop off in like Hong Kong and then somewhere else and someone had like a 12 over 12 hour layover and I was like oh my god I was so anxiously waiting to get my flight in my email fucking direct Miami to Gatwick I said oh my god my plane is going down there is no way I've got that lucky I think that's the only direct flight on the planet right now and you're putting me on it it's going down it's going down anyway on the

way back to the airport sorry when I got to the airport I met I what I noticed a girl who looked very much like me like where the fuck am I going so I spoke to her and I was like are you she I don't know how I just knew she was British like I sometimes feel like a Brit can just spot a Brit do you know what I mean and I was like are you flying to Gatwick and she was like yeah and I was like oh my god me too and then we compared our ticket and she didn't have food or anything booked for her flight and mine said that I did and I was like what the why am I getting all this special treatment a direct flight got food um and I was like oh no I'm sure you've got food like there's no way they've booked you a flight like it's a 10-hour flight there's no way

they've not booked you fucking food you know what i mean anyway she sat a totally different part of the plane from me like i was at near the front and she was near the back and then when we got off i was like hey did you did you get your food she was like no i'm fucking starving i was like oh my god like i wish you came and found me i would have shared my sausage and mash yeah and then I landed safely thank the heavens I was so scared like I truly believed that that was way too fucking good to be true but oh my god thank you universe for flying me home safe on a direct flight because my anxiety would not have been able to handle being stopped over anywhere I mean to be fair I'm quite good in them situations sometimes I something just comes over me I should fucking get on with it I should power through I suppose you've got to fight or flight in

it but yeah that was very long-winded but I cannot tell you I've had questions about this whole cruise story for years I mentioned it on YouTube like two years ago maybe even longer now and I've had questions about it ever since and I've never really told an in-depth story about it like I'm always just like oh yeah like I got a job on a cruise ship. I got sent home because of COVID. But I've had questions for so long. So I thought, why don't we have a proper story time? Okay. Next question. Sorry if that was really boring. Next question. Kind of relevant. Kind of relevant to the last question. Not like, I guess this is kind of relevant relevant to the previous question dream west end or broadway role okay so i genuinely think it's gotta be jenna in waitress

or regina in mean girls or janice in mean girls vocally i feel like i'm either janice or regina um vocally I feel like I'm either Janice or Regina but I think looks wise I'd be able to do a good Janice look like with the hair and makeup and the costume I feel like because of my dark hair and I'm quite short whereas like Regina seems to be like a sexy leggy blonde and I'm not a sexy leggy blonde I'm five foot three with dark hair so I'd be a great Janice I feel like so yeah they're my dream roles okay and next question is when did you start becoming spiritual and trust in the universe so I feel like when I first heard about manifesting because that was the first thing I ever heard about like the power of the universe and stuff it was like law of attraction manifestation I was like what is this law of attraction shit and when i heard about i was like well yeah i always do that

what are we talking about like doesn't everyone do that and i thought it was just a common thing to be like to envision something and and think about it like it's yours and know it's coming and know you're on the right path like when I was a kid I was like I know I'm gonna do shows when I'm older like I I know I'm gonna sing and I'm gonna act and I'm gonna do theater like I know that like it's not a question and when I look back I'm like well I guess that's manifesting you know and there's so many little things I did where I didn't realize at the time that I was manifesting um and I just sort of knew like I wrote something in my yearbook about like oh like I'll be on stage like it was like something about like being on stage and like yeah I just like always

had this passion of like I just want to perform like I love performing my passion is performing I love to perform and yeah I just since I was since I was a kid, and like, I would always pretend, like, I know everyone pretends they're Hannah Montana, don't they, like, you're like, no, Leigh-Anne, no one fucking does that, we did, right, but I just sort of didn't grow out of that, and still now, to this day, I'm like, you get the limo out front. Do you know what I mean? So I think when I heard about it, I was a bit like, oh, like it has a name. Like I didn't really realize. I thought that was just a normal way of dreaming and creating goals and ambitions.

I thought that's the way we had to think about it. It was just like a natural way I thought about it. And it wasn't until I got older that I realized I've accidentally manifested so many things into my life like like even for example like when I had this cruise ship job um and I'm shopping for bikinis before they've offered me a place on a ship because I was like oh I'm going like I can see myself in Miami do you know what I mean I can see myself on the beach I'm gonna need a bikini so I guess that's still a form of manifestation it's like well I can see it I'm and that thought is real in my head I'm making it a real thing in my head I can see it's happening it's coming I need to prepare so yeah um and then I think because

of that I just felt so connected to the whole idea of it and I was like that's me that's that's what makes me that's what helps me through my life that's how I that's how I feel about anything I dream of and goals I have and stuff and I've always believed in um speaking things into existence I've always believed that if you radiate negative energy and you treat people bad and you talk about people bad, you radiate and you, you attract that same energy. I've always believed that if you're kind and if you treat people nicely and if you talk about people nicely, then that is what you attract in your life. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, um, crystals, I go through phases of being like, I'm going to

charge my crystals in the full moon and and i'm gonna sleep with them under my pillow and then sometimes i'll just like have them near me just because i'm not really thinking too deeply about it but i like to always have them near me i go through phases with tarot sometimes like the whole of last summer i was i went a bit tarot mad to be honest my boyfriend probably he used to take the piss out of last summer i was i went a bit tarot mad to be honest my boyfriend probably he used to take the piss out of me saying i was a witch but that's not funny because witchcraft is real but yeah like i do always do tarot readings and there was always really legit i've got a pendulum like i don't know it makes me feel comfortable i just enjoy it i just love it

okay i will finish off with this one. Nice light hearted one. What is your favorite alcoholic drink? So my favorite alcoholic drink, um, I'm very predictable. Like I'm a bit of a basic bitch. Like I love a Prosecco and I love a gin and tonic, but my favorite cocktail all day is a paloma or a margarita I love a tequila based drink I love tequila based cocktails they're they're my favorite cocktails I also like a Tom Collins um but yeah my favorite is a paloma but not everywhere does them which is kind of sad but they are my favorite it's like a pink grapefruit tequila agave lime gorgeous concoction concoction concoction I don't know and margarita I love a margarita yeah really enjoy okay guys thank you

so much for all your questions I'm sorry if the story of the cruise was really boring and really long but I honestly I didn't realize people were interested in that like I feel like it's not that interesting of a story but then I guess it is like if you're someone that wants to even know a little bit more about like the performing world and stuff it might have been a bit interesting or I don't know who knows but yeah I love you guys let's wrap up the episode okay everyone thank you so much for listening to this episode i hope you enjoyed it remember next week is the never have i ever so come up with some sick ones if you want and i mean sick as in twisted not sick as in sick sick sick as in like how the fuck am i meant to choose so yeah i love you i hope you all have a really good weekend

whatever it is that you're getting up to my aunt is coming down this weekend so really looking forward to that and I hope you are safe happy healthy wishing you all good energy good news positive vibes hugs kisses snogs and I love you be safe if you're getting drunk this weekend don't text your ex text me instead i can't shout because like i said my mom's asleep i don't want to wake her up so let's whisper this outro together guys okay three two one i love you Maybe I adore you Yeah, I adore you