Leah on the Line - Bonus 45: Would you rather... ICKS edition (part 2)

Episode Date: June 8, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of lear on the line happy friday it's friday people it's friday then it's's Saturday, Sunday. It's Friday then. Yeah, what tune? Remember when that song did not disappear off the radio? Oh my god, and this one. House every weekend. House every weekend. Oh, I hated that song, but for some reason, every time it came on, I was like, yeah, turn it up, turn it up. Anyway, how are you guys? Doesn't it just feel like summer has arrived? It feels fucking beautiful. The weather in the UK is looking pretty beautiful. I mean, it's not really a good thing because it's basically just global warming, isn't it? But to be fair, one thing I don't like about summer that I forget about every year until I'm in the

position again is the denim shorts vagina pain. If you know if you know you know okay like when you have denim shorts and you sit down why does it feel like you don't really get it in jeans do you not anywhere near as much but when you wear denim shorts and you sit down it's like something's punching you in the puss like it's so painful sometimes I've got it right now I'm gonna spend this whole episode in vaginal pain just so you all know but anyway hope you guys are all feeling good I certainly am because when this comes out on Friday I'll be on my way to London because I'm seeing the JoBros on Saturday if I haven't said it enough listen I know it's probably really annoying especially if you're not a Jonas

Brothers fan but listen I don't I don't really do like very fun things often as you guys might have been able to tell but yeah I'm feeling really excited I'm feeling grateful I'm feeling lucky I am starting to get really anxious about my flight though because I go to Portugal on Monday yeah Monday and I'm starting to get anxious about it oh like I've really convinced myself and also does anybody else do this thing right you know when you're like lining up to board your flight do you like look around at the other people getting on their flight thinking like you don't look like the type of people to die in a plane crash so I'll be sweet does anybody else

do that like if there's a beautiful family of babies I'm like oh we're gonna be fine like you you are not the type of people to go down you know but I'm really petrified especially after I've told so I've told the story a million times especially after my last flight home from Tenerife oh gold thought that was it for me and especially because I'm not going on holiday with my mum and listen I'm such a like mummy's girl I was gonna say deep down but it's very high key like it's not even a low key thing like it's high key very independent I mean dependent on my mum just to make me feel safe and secure so like anytime I've ever been on holiday without my mum I feel constantly anxious like it's an it's a low key feeling like it's not like it overwhelms me to the point where I can't enjoy my holiday but like going on holiday to Tenerife with my mum in October it was a totally different experience and

I just felt totally like just totally different it was really quite stunning actually to enjoy that experience to another level like that just must be what people feel like on holiday and that honestly must be so nice I remember my first holiday about my mum and it was i was so panicky and i did not really realize why and then i realized upon reflection it's because i have this weird thing at 25 and my big age 25 years of age and i'm still like mummy i'm scared we need to sort that out i don't know why because like i left home at 18 I went to uni like quite far away I was like five six hours away from home I didn't really come home much I've like lived away from home on and off since I was 18 but for some reason I still and you know

what like as a kid right I was so dependent on my mum that I never used to go to sleepovers like I would stay at Jess's house and her mum would have to drop me home every time bless her and my mum that I never used to go to sleepovers like I would stay at Jess's house and her mum would have to drop me home every time bless her and my mum would go and Jess's mum be like you sure you want to stay are you sure you want to because we can't be you know dropping you home at midnight and I was just like yeah no I definitely definitely want to stay like I'm definitely feeling brave tonight and then it would get to like 10 o'clock at night and the anxiety would kick in and i'd be like oh just feeling really anxious and you know what i'd picture my mum like sat at home on the sofa

watching eastenders or watching a bit of big brother like whatever it was back in the day and i'm like i just want to be there for her like i just want to be there for her like what the hell like what's the matter with me anyway i got dropped home every time and it wasn't until i was about 15 that i actually started to stay out my friend's houses weird and I never used to go to school discos either I remember my sister would get me all dressed up I used to do this hairstyle when I was a kid right it was really weird like I'd have my hair pinned straight like with a straightener my thin little mousy brown hair and I'd have random curls just dotted about what like I'd curl random well my sister would do it for me but I felt like such a stunner like she would do these random curls throughout my hair and like every school disco that came around

I was like I want this straight with the curls please it's so weird but I might might recreate it to be honest see if it's a slay in this day and age but anyway I'd get all dressed up like she'd put makeup on me my mum might buy me like a nice new sparkly top like whatever um I'd get driven to the school everyone would be going in and I would say I'm not going in I'm not going in and I think I've been to one school disco in my life and my brother is my twin like independent king he was just like see ya I'm out of here I'm going to the disco party in his life way all night do you know what I mean dancing to the cheeky girls cha-cha slide in that and I was just at home and I was happy I was really happy I was so relieved as well I remember like when I'd say like

I don't want to go in and I finally was brave enough to say that out loud and make the decision and my family was always just like okay that's fine like no pressure they would obviously encourage me to be like you have fun like let's go find Jess do you know what I mean and I was like no I don't want to and then I'd go home and I was like oh my god thank god that's over do you know what I mean so do you think that's anxiety like do you think I've had anxiety since I was really young isn't that sad oh do you ever think about like yourself as a kid and just want to give them a hug and be like love you you're amazing don't you worry about thing oh I'm so narcissistic of me anyway so irrelevant how did I even get onto that so this episode I had a few of you message me recently

saying that you just want to have like a laugh because when I said on my Instagram story like what what Friday episodes do you want loads of you was just like literally anything that makes me laugh like I just need a good laugh like whether it's x or whatever or he's a 10 but like whatever they are you just need a laugh and I was like right okay love that I'm happy I'm happy to to provide if I can do you know what I mean so I put up an Instagram story saying do you want would you rather x edition or would youva red flags edition and it has been a 50 50 split the entire day literally it'd be like 49 50 49 50 it's literally just sat around 50 50 all day so I guess that means we're just gonna have to do both and I'll do the the I'm doing red flags today no I'm doing it today fucking hell so we'll do red flags next time but I will give you a heads up there will be no Friday episode

next week because I'll be on holiday and I'm going to pre-film Tuesday so that we don't miss the Tuesday but I literally have no free time from now to do it I always forget that I need to pre-film I always forget because I'm like I said I'm not used to like doing fun things I'm usually just available to pod but yeah so there I might be able to pre-record on Sunday if I can get a free couple of hours but it's looking likely there won't be one but just come back and check in case but yeah sorry about that if there is one missing but just know that I'm living my best life honey on the beach yeah as you know I'll be coming home that day but sad times anyway oh I'm gonna stop rambling.

I hope you all had a really good week. I hope you're all feeling good. Hopefully, this will give you a little bit of a giggle. And let's get straight into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Leah on the Line. Remember to leave a rating on Apple Podcasts and Spotify and hit the notification bell. You can send in your confessions and dilemmas to leahontheline at gmail.com and follow me on socials at leahontheline and at leah lavaine to see visual clips of the podcast i love you enjoy

the episode okay thank you guys so much for sending in your ics appreciate the input you guys are honestly so funny like i love these episodes because it's all you like you make me laugh and hopefully people will enjoy this as well and laugh at you guys and how funny you all are in the room so x edition would you rather right so i gave an example on my story would you rather wear what he wears or she actually no i feel like a girl this is less of an ick if a girl does this so metaphorically right they wear white ripped skinny jeans or talks in a baby voice um uh see the baby voice it doesn't bother me that much unless it was like constant like you know um is it jack joseph or something he does the tiktoks where it's like you're dating a walking egg and it's like sorry sorry boy boy oh my god like i don't mind every now and then like whatever sometimes it can be quite sweet

i guess but constantly talking in a baby voice would send me over the edge I think but having said that white skinny jeans for me is a personal taste thing right fashion is a big thing for me I like the linen shirts the beige trousers you know I like the neutral smart smart casual look I don't I'm not really a fan of jeans in general on a guy unless they're like loose fit, like dad jeans and even blue jeans. It's not vibe for me personally. So like white skin, skinny jeans, full stop. Like even if blue skinnies, black skinnies, I can't, I don't find that attractive. That's just my personal taste. You know what I mean? white ripped blue ripped I couldn't deal with but white ripped skinny jeans I'm genuinely being serious and loads of you are going to call me shallow I think I'd rather the baby voice than the white ripped skinnies because you know I'm hoping maybe

he wouldn't do the baby voice in front of other people or at least two other people like the lads do you know what i mean hello like when he walks into the pub with the mates hello like oh i couldn't but white ripped skinny jeans we've all got to witness that do you know what i mean so yeah i'm actually going to go the baby voice on that one all right let's have a look at the ones you guys have sent in these i've had literally the most brief look and I was already laughing so I was like let me come away from this because I just want to read these at first glance first impressions first reaction okay so let's kick off with a random one um oh would you rather he wears vests or he posts cringy lip-syncing videos on tiktok listen the vest, I like a vest. I'm not joking. I like a vest. I think they look cool. So, and the lip-syncing, look, a lot of TikToks can be cringe from guys,

but the lip-syncing, like if it was like, I can't even think of a song. I'm sat here realizing that my boyfriend has videos of him lip-syncing. What was the song? It was a Chris Brown one what was it you don't know what you did speak to me your body light weight speaks to me and he's like lip-syncing to that but I thought that was sexy so I'm actually saying that that doesn't cringe me out but maybe that's because it's him because if it was like another guy I'd probably be like trying that probably would give me the XO I'm gonna go I don't know because I like a vest like when Jamie wears a vest I think oh sexy man so honestly you've stumped me there because I don't think either of those are that icky but yeah I'm

gonna go with the lip sync just because I feel like not everyone would be able to do that and it not give me the ick so yeah what about you guys all right um this one made me laugh slim fit jeans which first of all what is a slim fit is that like the jeans that I like or are we talking skinny fit okay i'm gonna go with skinny just because that makes it harder for me skinny jeans or one single long chin hair what just fucking pluck it out like it's like they're hanging on they're like i've got a beard yeah i've got i grow facial hair i hit puberty once it's like why the one why is it long

and coming out of his chin as well oh my god guys i've told you about the long hair i get coming out my jaw let me have a little pic see if it's still there because it comes back wait how no i think that's peach fuzz anyway i'll have a look later but i i personally get one chin hair right and it's like a little spiky black one no joke it's not long though like we're talking here it literally grows like like like your pubes like two days after you you've shaved that's the size of my chin the thing is it's jet black um it's really hard to tweeze it out but i do get the fucker so anyway one long chin hair oh okay i'm gonna go with that one i'd rather that because i can tweeze that out i'm not trying to convince you to change your whole fashion sense because that's

your thing do you know what i mean that's you babe you're just not for me but I can work with the chin hair you know but that is suggesting that they don't have any other facial hair and I'm a facial hair girl apart from when they fucking kiss you and it hurts it's like stabs you in the lips is that me? Because I feel like I must be really awful. Like, because Jamie will kiss me and I'll be like, ow. And he's like, fucking hell. Like, you just always make me feel rejected. Every time I kiss you, it's like, ow.

And I'm, okay, I'm like, not every time, first of all. It's not every time. But please tell me, some of you guys, with your boyfriends, when they kiss you with a beard it catches you off guard sometimes it's like being stabbed with a billion needles in your lips but yeah i'll go with the chin hair we can tweeze that out darling don't worry okay gun fingers or dad dancing gun fingers is an ultimate ick for me it's an ultimate ick honestly you could be that you could be Zac Efron right we know I love a bit of Zac Efron right

you could be Dwayne Johnson actually Dwayne Johnson could probably get away with the gun fingers the Zac Efron imagine him the gun fingers pointing up to the ceiling oh oh oh yo oh I'd rather see him dad dance I'm like oh so funny so sweet I'm gonna go dad dance I'd rather the dad dance um oh my god oh my god okay would you rather he calls you mummy or every time you have sex he says yee-haw oh my god oh my god neither honestly neither that is the hardest one yet mummy mummy we have got to get you some therapy my babe because I'm not your mum mummy like this is not it's not sexy it's not sweet it's not cute like in what context as well like sexually or just like all the time like morning mummy or like you look

beautiful today mommy but then i guess some people like especially americans they say like mama do you know what i mean hey mama you know sexy mama but mummy and it's the british accent for me oh get away get out of town no but yee-haw like could you imagine no because imagine they're on top of you and then they start like swinging their hand around their arm around in the air they're like yee-haw get off me get off immediately I think I'm gonna go with the yee-haw I think I'm gonna go with the yeehaw but every time every time we can always whack on a pair of headphones maybe you could kink it up be like hey why don't I like tape your mouth shut that would be really sexy why don't we go for like a gag I've always wanted to I'm going for the yeehaw guys I can't lie mummy get away all right um says his r's as w's in a baby voice or claps every time he gets excited why is the clapping so funny because I do that but I've just literally imagined

my boyfriend getting excited and clapping his hands every time like oh like going to portugal on monday relax but the r's are stubby so like sorry sorry oh you look really pretty oh i'm going with the claps i'm going with the claps i love the excitement love the enthusiasm crank it up babe at least there's no soies do you know what i mean at least they're a happy person like clap away darling i mean um kisses his mum on the lips or chews food with his mouth open hmm how do i feel about this i don't really know i've never witnessed like a grown man kissing his

mum on the lips and i think if i had i would probably catch me off guard but i feel like you'd probably get used to it i don't know but chewing with your food doing your food with your mouth open i don't i'm one of the people that, like, maybe it's because I eat, like, an absolute fucking piglet, but when, like, somebody's chewing with their mouth open, if it's someone I know, I don't care, but if it's, like, a stranger, I'll be, like, fucking hell, slap me lips a bit more, but, like, there's something attractive to me about a man that just loves his food, like, Jamie will look at his food, literally just look at it, and it's in his stomach, and I'm just like, oh, yeah, get it down ya, do you know what I mean? So, if there was like, I don't really think it would bother me that much, but also, I don't want

to see it slapping around your mouth, like, watching it just slowly turn into, like, a liquid in your mouth. Have you ever noticed that especially guys but a lot of people i notice in mukbangs and stuff they barely chew they chew like four times so i've like a bite of a big big big mag big mac they'll chew it four times and it's gone down the fucking hatch already do you know apparently you're meant to chew 30 times and i count and i tend to chew around 20 to 25 times and i counted jamie's and he was like four five and they say you're meant to chew like 30 times so next time you're eating if you're eating right now or next time chew for 30 times and let me know how weird that feels because it literally turns to liquid in your mouth.

It's really quite bizarre. But anyway, I'm going to go with choose with his mouth open for sure. Okay. This is a good one. It's the same as the other one, but a different other option. This is a good one. It's the same as the other one, but a different other option. So it says, they say yee-haw in doggy or barks during foreplay.

Wait, so are we talking like they're down on you or like, like are we saying they're down on you then they're coming up and going. Or you're like, you know, doing your business for him and he's like these are the weirdest dog barks i've ever heard i can do a good dog bark wait oh ah my ears anyway what would i prefer i'm i'm honestly i don't think i need to give this that much thought i'm i'm definitely on the yeehaw side yeehaw is it yeehaw yeehaw no yeehaw anyway i'd rather the yeehaw than fucking barking and growling like a dog the fuck do you know what i mean um okay would you rather on the first date they trip over oh no they trip over their own feet nervously

or spill food down their top see the tripping is awkward it is like when you don't know someone it's actually really awkward like why is it so awkward like it happens to everybody but when you especially if you're the other person like if you was on a first date and they trip even you feel awkward it's like oh careful i nearly went then and then they go like oh fucking hell especially when it's just a slip you know your foot slips and you panic like your your life flashes before your eyes and you have to you do the wobble that's awkward it's so cringe it's like whoa easy but food down their top like i gotta see that all night whereas the slip we can move past it and forget about it and probably banter about it later on but spilling food down your top we got a that's there all night like you're gonna be aware that it's there all night i'm gonna be looking at it so i'd rather the slip i'd rather the slip i think it's sweet

if they're nervous okay oh gold oh gold would you rather orders milk everywhere you go or wears velcro trainers everywhere you go you guys know how i feel about the milk situation and i won't keep going on about it because i know a load of you think leah is milk the fuck but the girls that get it get it you know imagine you're like okay what do you mean everywhere what we're talking like in a bar. Like we've gone to a fancy cocktail bar in London and he's like, can I get a glass of milk, please? Or like Nando's. Can I get some milk? McDonald's, get the bottles of milk. Do you remember the cartons of milk in school?

I used to drink them. Gross. Anyway. Or what was the other option or they wear velcro trainers everywhere velcro trainers it's got to be an ick like can you tie shoelaces or not do you know what i mean like did you just not learn to tie shoelaces but the milk oh do you know what do you know what this might shock a few of you I actually think I'd prefer they ordered milk it's good for your calcium whatever but the velcro is like how are we making outfits look cool and I love I love a good fashionable guy do you know what I mean so the velcro I don't know yeah I

actually think I would rather they ordered milk everywhere I'm very shallow is what I'm learning oh well okay he has a girl best friend or is a mummy's boy mummy's boy all the way don't even need to think about that one babe girl best friend nope absolutely no I don't I don't believe it I believe there's always a crossover you know always we had the dilemma you know we had it last week there is always a blur of the lines the flirting that remember the dilemma last week when he texts her from across the bar saying we maybe we should just shag and kiss me that for me is the definition of male female friendships and I know there's loads of people listening like i have a guy best friend and like i have a guy best friend it's not like that like i bet it is you know i bet it is deep down and you might not even know you might not even know

about it but um yeah i'm gonna go i'd rather a mummy's boy i don't mind a mummy's boy but like how deep are we talking for the mummy's boy okay constantly have unbearably bad breath or has dirty nails and doesn't cut them the bad breath for me I don't think anything else could top it I genuinely don't you could give me any other would you rather and I'd rather the other one because the bad breath I can't look past it I can't move around it you know it's it's a big issue for me bad breath i can't work with it like all the time like fair enough we all get bad breath in the morning like we all get bad breath like you've eaten like loads of onion or something loads of garlic but to just have it consistently and unbearably bad, you said.

I'd rather the dirty fingernails, you know. I would, I would. But they're not going anywhere near me, babe. Okay. Ooh, they call their parents mummy and daddy or they carry a backpack everywhere. What is it with the backpacks isn't it weird I don't know why that's in it because it's just a bag um yeah I'd rather the backpack because for me mummy and daddy I can't I don't know like it's not that bad it's not that bad because I guess in some ways it would be quite sweet I

think like a grown man calling their dad daddy is weirder to me than like mummy because that's I think like sometimes it's sweet like you have a really sweet relationship with your mom and it's like hi mummy do you know what I mean but like um where's daddy mummy where's daddy oh god that's really not nice for me to think about. Yeah, I'm going to go with the backpack for that one. Doesn't cook or doesn't know how to do laundry. oh, fuck off, I don't, I hate either of those, oh, well, I've fucking been there with both, so I think the worst one is doesn't cook, because it's like, like, no one takes care of you then, like, no one cooks you a nice dinner when you get home after a hard day or you know cooks you your favorite meal or

surprises you with a steak night like you don't get that you just have to look after someone else's son and no thanks so I'd rather the laundry that would bother me less but if you can't cook like what the fuck do you know what I mean that's a big thing for me um let's have a look a lot of these are the same ics like the baby boys and stuff so I feel like we all kind of have the same things that we just really cannot get on board with do you know what I mean um that crossing a road and a car has come in um run across or walk slowly to act cool. No. Okay. Cause I hate when someone does the walking slow to look like you're not panicking. I hate it. Run, run. Don't be rude. Do you know what I mean? It's rude. Like if you, if we've both just started crossing the road in the middle of the road,

there's no traffic light, there's no crossing and a car is having to slow down because you've decided you want to cross there run like get out the way i will i'll always just jog across if i see a car come and give them a little oh sorry but it's the people that just slow you can wait for me you can wait for me i don't run it's like just run like just get out the way it really bothers me when people do that and i've witnessed so many guys doing that and i really hate it really annoys me i just think run what the fuck you don't look cool you just look rude so yeah i'd rather they ran for sure um always flexes in the mirror or always wears flip-flops with jeans flip-flops with jeans is actually funny to imagine

I don't know because if you're flexing in the mirror like what level of self-obsessed have we got to be to be but then haven't said that every time i look in the mirror i do have a little like how am i looking today am i looking good am i looking sexy but i'm not flexing every fucking time i'm saying flex but you know i mean posing i'd rather they did the mirror thing to be honest even though it kind of suggests you're a major fucking red flag because it's giving narcissist as you know narcissists are fucking insecure right really aren't they to be realistic about it um but yeah i'd rather the flexing because what i'm learning about myself in this episode is fashion sense is actually really important to me now interesting okay bald or super long hair oh i'm gonna say bald i'm i'm partial to a bald man if you think about dwayne johnson you know i keep saying to jamie like i low-key hope you like are a bald man even though silver fox like if he turns into a sexy silver fox with his sleeves and that like imagine

that like 70 yeah yeah that would be sexy but then also i think like muscly bald tattoos also a vibe do you know what i mean so jamie can win either way here bald or gray i'm gonna be enjoying but yeah long hair isn't really my type I totally get that a lot of girls love long hair like one of my friends that's literally her type to a tee but it's never been my thing yeah no it's just not my type see I'm gonna go bald um okay a boy that's obsessed with his mum and talks about her 24 7 or one that picks his nose 24-7. What I've learned about you guys is the mummy's boy thing is a bit of an issue. It's a bit of a prevalent issue because me personally, I think it's attractive.

Obviously, like to a certain degree, like if it's you're telling me they're 24-7 talking about their mum obsessed, that's a bit draining. But if they're like really close, that's a green flag for me all day long. So, but yeah, that's one thing I've learned in this episode is the mummy's boy thing is not attractive to a lot of people. But I like it personally. Not just mummies, but just like family in general. I think maybe just because family is really important to me so like if that's the case with you green flag or they pick their nose 24 7 oh my god that's fucking that's hard that's really hard um i mean i'm a bit of a hypocrite because my boyfriend will back me up on this with my acrylic nails I will dig it so far up my nose and stab

myself in the nose because it makes me sneeze and I will literally poke the inside of my nose with my acrylic nail when I need to make myself sneeze and it works every time so I I personally do I'm not picking bogeys out but I will personally sit um stabbing myself in the nose 24 7 not 24 7 but you know when you need to sneeze and you can't works a charm recommend my sister does it too anyway um that or obsessed with his mom and talks about her 24 7 i think i'd rather that i think i'd rather that because like just the bogeys situation is just that's a bit intense for me do you know what I mean spit oh how much is up there do you know what I mean just have a blow on a piece of tissue so yeah I'm gonna go with the mummy's mummy's thing the 24-7 obsessed talking about her even though I'd rather neither because you know they're both

very extreme all right guys this was fun thank you so much for sending them in you guys are the funniest people ever like you just entertain me so much I could do this all day remember we are doing the red flags one next so get thinking for those and let's wrap up the episode. Okay, we have reached the end. If you are still listening, I love you. I appreciate you. Thank you so much. What are you guys thinking about Love Island at the moment?

My personal favorite at the moment is Molly and Mitch. Molly is absolutely killing it. Her personality, I just fucking love her. And also, what's the other blonde girl called? I can't remember her name, but she's a proper cockney bird i just love her like she's just sick and i really want someone to come in and just sweep her off her feet because i love her um katherine i love she has most unreal teeth as well stunning but yeah i love katherine she's a vibe what are you guys thinking about the boys tyreek flag, if I've ever seen one in my life. Yeah, commitment issues and admits it.

Like, what? Who wants to fall in love with him? Do you know what I mean? You're just going to break everyone's heart. But I'm sitting back and ready to see it all unfold. Anyway, hope you guys all have the best weekend, whatever it is that you're getting up to, wear your SPF in the sun.

And I will speak to you on Tuesday for for a brand new episode all right i love you