Leah on the Line - Bonus 5: Never have I ever VOICE NOTES edition!

Episode Date: April 28, 2022

Hello darlinnns! Welcome back to the pod and this week's bonus episode! This week we played a game of Never Have I Ever with your voice notes! Thank you so much to everyone that sent them in, I had so much fun playing! As always send in your thoughts/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, it's Fido. Start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget. We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.

It's getting closer to midnight. I try to get closer to you. Hello. Hey, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. It's a fucking Tuesday. Oh god, I'm what, three seconds in? I've already dropped a swear word. My swear is actually quite embarrassingly bad, isn't it? It makes me sound really unintelligent and I'm not the most intelligent but I did go to uni, I do have a degree. It was in performing arts but I did write a dissertation, like I wasn't just dancing around for three years like I had to do a lot of writing um anyway somebody's been in my vagina today and it wasn't Jake okay I had a internal ultrasound I did mention it briefly how I'm trying to get a diagnosis for what's been going on with my periods for the last

10 years um and normally well well, that was so loud, isn't it? Normally they just put me on the pill, right? I mean, I am still on the mini pill, but I just like, I want to know what the problem is rather than just ignoring it all the time. Because yeah, the pill helps, but like one day I'm going to want to come off this pill and have beautiful babies if it's possible, you know? And when I told the doctor that, she was like, well, why don't we just cross that bridge when we get to it and I was like babe I've been on the pill for 10 years it's dangerous like being on the pill for a long time is dangerous um so I really just don't want to be on it anymore and I want to know what the problem is I'm 99.999999 convinced it's

endometriosis because I do have every single symptom under the sun um so yeah I had one of those um what are they called vaginal ultrasound and oh my god I was actually thinking about you guys while she was in my vagina like it was really intense I got there and obviously I've mentioned I have health anxiety right so being in hospital is not my favorite place okay and then, like, people were just, like, out in the hallways on hospital beds, and they just all look so ill, and, like, I just, I panicked, thinking, oh my god, what's the matter with you, are you alright, like, oh my god, like, is something really bad happening to you, and I just can't, I can't bear it, it was really triggering

for me, so it was like, head down, head down, go to the x-ray ward, go to the x-ray ward, and then I got there, and the woman was really nice on reception she was really lovely she was like um okay uh yeah just take a seat for me and then I waited and you know I went a little bit longer than my appointment time but I get it they're so busy whatever and then she calls me in and I go into the room I'm nervous I haven't taken any propranolol today okay anxiety is on the high and I'm alone and she's like just strip down for me babe I was like okay no but she was obviously really sensitive and she was just like you know just take everything off including your pants like take it all off and then just wrap the um what are they called like the robes they're like

the hospital gown the gown she's like you don't need to put it on just wrap it um what are they called like the robes they're like the hospital gown the gown she's like you don't need to put it on just wrap it around your waist and even that i started overthinking i was like what do you mean what do you mean around my waist i have to tie it like what does she mean just hold it what if my bum's out at the back i was so confused i was like yeah gotcha gotcha and then she closed the curtain i'm like oh my god what do i do like anyway i just wrapped it around me and then she's like lay on the bed for for me, she was like, bit further down, bit further down, bring your bum all the way to the end of the bed for me, all the way down, I was like, oh my god, why can't I just complete this simple task, and then she was like, okay, now just open your legs for me, and I was

like, oh my god, okay, and then you should see the size of that fucking thing, I've seen some willies in my life, okay, but but that there is no need for that amount of length I mean I'm sure there is a very important need and it's to get to the cervix and womb and all of that shit that they're looking at I don't really know what they're doing and then um obviously I'm being covered up by the gown and she just like goes under with the what's it called what's it called like the probe I don't know what to fucking call it it just looks like a bit of a dildo um but it's like wrapped in this thing and obviously it's got lube all over it oh god and I'm just getting tired by the second I was

just like this is not I'm not excited for this and before I know it just like poked me in the vagina I was like oh there she is um and she's like pushing it in slowly and I was like, oh, there she is, um, and she's, like, pushing it in slowly, and I was like, oh, oh, god, this is the weirdest feeling, and I haven't had a smear yet, like, I know, you know, I'm 20, I'm 25 this year, but I'm not 25 yet, so I need to have my smear yet, I've never, like, been through pregnancy, or, like, I've got a hiccup, one sec, oh, it's not coming, okay, forget it, oh it's not coming okay forget it so yeah I've never like I've never had an appointment where I've had anything up or around my vagina and I know it is just part of being a woman and it is normal to have these appointments and stuff but it was my first time experiencing this and it was so strange like it's like having sex or like being fingered without like but you're just like not horny at all and it was

just really surreal experience anyway so she's shoving this thing around my fanny why does that make me laugh my fanny fanny or anyway and she's being really nice and she's asking me questions and I'm just really struggling to speak. Um, and then I'm remembering what my mom said where she's like, you know, look at the ceiling and just relax because the tighter you tense up, the more uncomfortable it's going to be. So, you know, try not to tense it up. So I'm going to write, try not to tense, relax. And then obviously you're just overthinking it. And then she's like shoving it to one side, shoving it to the next, shoving it up, shoving it down. I was just like, ow, it did hurt.

Like people online were like, it doesn't even hurt me. Like it's just so uncomfortable. It hurt me. And I don't know if that's because I could have a genuine problem, which is what we're obviously trying to find out. But yeah, or maybe I was just really uncomfortable,

but it just felt really dry as well. But she put a load of lube because I felt it dripping out okay TMI nah sorry my mic cut out anyway so yeah where was I um can you hear me by the way hope so well what you can't answer me so hopefully you can um yeah anyway no it's never TMI we're best friends so yeah that happened um and now I wait 10 days for the results so I will keep you updated with my diagnosis hopefully it's nothing serious like I have health anxiety this is this is difficult for me this is really hard but I I just want to feel like I know my body I feel like this is going to

give me peace of mind as well so yeah um that was my story and you know what's funny I was laying there with this thing up my fanny and I'm thinking to myself you wait till I get on the pod later and tell the girls about this and then I realized what I was saying and I was like I'm literally thinking about you you lot while this woman's sticking something up my vagina and then I started laughing and then I got the giggles and I was like oh my god I'm literally what am I thinking about right now and she probably thought I was so weird like she's like putting this ultrasound device right up deep inside me and I'm giggling about it. Like, grow up, you're 24. But anyway, that was my experience today on the internal ultrasound. Overall, it was so fine. Like, yeah, it was like only painful when she like put it in certain,

put it on certain angles and like really dug up to the cervix but overall it was completely fine and I would do it again so yeah if anybody's got that coming up don't worry about it it is cringy and it is just like oh fucking hell but it's over before you know it and then you actually feel the sense of like pride of like wow I'm so big and brave oh my god Leah literally calm down what the fuck who do I think I am anyway in today's bonus episode we are doing it was actually one of your ideas um let me find out whose it was because oh my god listen to this right this girl gave me so much abuse once um shout out to emily babe 166 because this was her idea anyway somebody emily isn't the one that gave me abuse by the way it's

totally random girl I won't name her but so you remember when on the last bonus episode we did voice notes right and you guys know if you're regular listeners you know that that's something I've wanted to do for ages I've spoke about voice notes before I've actually included a couple of them in previous episodes she sent me this dm she's like I can't believe you would take my idea and not give me any credit I was like what is this girl talking about she sent me this big paragraph being like I thought you were genuine and you're not you're like I feel robbed I you you've snaked me like it was proper coming for me I was thinking what is she what she's talking about and then I realized I had a story up saying what do you want from the next bonus episode and I thought oh my god I bet she's put voice notes and I went back and I found she

did actually respond saying voice notes and I was thinking oh my god she thinks I've like seen her response and then been like guys I've got this great idea like I'm gonna do voice notes but really I stole it from her so I replied to her and I was like babe like I don't know what's going on but I hate to I hate to break this to you but but this really wasn't your idea. And I was like, even if it was like, there's a way to talk to people. It's like, it's not that serious. Do you know what I mean? Um, and I was just like, you know, life's hard enough. Like, please don't send me these messages. And I said to her, I was like, it was really hard for me to get this bonus episode out. I've had a terrible fucking week. My mental health was on the floor. Um, and I did this for my listeners because I didn't want to let them down after I promised them the week prior that I would do a bonus episode and I did it and I was

proud of myself and then I'm going to bed check my phone after it just went live at like midnight this was literally the night it went live check my phone and I'm getting this fucking hate and abuse from you and I was like babe life's hard enough like I hope you have a better day tomorrow like I'm just going to take that you've had a bad day or something, like, I'm not gonna take it personally, whatever, and then in the morning, I woke up, by the way, it took me a while to get off sleep, because I was really anxious about it, I was thinking, what, why would this girl say all these nasty things to me, like, why would she think that I'm not a genuine person, like, why would she think that I would just, like, do that to her, like, I was really upset, and then I finally just got off sleep,

woke up in the morning to a message from her saying you are a horrible horrible girl i was like what the actual fuck all over me doing voice notes in an episode and she thought i got the idea from her and just ran with it and even if i did get it from you like so what okay anyway it really upset me so guys please don't ever talk to people on an arse awake you never know what they're going through anyway that's totally off topic we're gonna have a fun week this week with never have i ever's but plot twist we're doing voice notes so shout out to the babe who came up with the idea for voice notes all thanks to you shout out to you um i'm just gonna get straight in with it with the first voice note by the way way, I haven't listened to any of these. I don't know how filthy you guys are going to be, but, um, I'm just, I didn't want to listen to them because I want to be put on the spot. Do

you know what I mean? I want to answer things that I probably shouldn't answer. So let's just go for it. First one. Hello, my graduation. So I'm a bit bit drunk but absolutely bloody love you podcast love you babe um just graduated oh my god congrats um my never have a ever to you is never have a ever yeah just i don't know how to explain it just come on babe oh my god she's drunk Completely laid back in a friendship To make your life easier When actually the friendship Has been absolutely dog shit What?

Does that make sense? No Basically my thing is Never have I ever put others before my own Mental health well being I want to hear your story Go for it No I haven't. Have I ever

put somebody else before myself? No. I don't really get the question, babes. I don't know if you get the question. What's the question? Never have I ever put somebody before myself. Of course. But the question you began with was like something about friendship. I didn't really get it, darling. I don't really get it, to be honest. But congr to be honest but congrats on your graduation so proud of you oh my god hiccup come in wait everybody wait yeah I don't really get the question anybody else get the question thanks so much for sending it in but I think you've had one too many gin and tonics darling nah never one too many never one too many enjoy it graduation woohoo so proud of you um yeah i don't really get questions sorry ah maybe i'm stupid but let's move on

hi it's fido start the semester with a new phone and a plan full of data without breaking your budget we have everything you need for an a plus year come check out our special back to school offers they'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love select plans even We have everything you need for an A-plus year. Come check out our special back-to-school offers. They'll leave you with more cash in your pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back-to-school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long.

Fido. At your side. Hi, sir. I love your podcast. It's so good. Thank you. It literally gets me through life. Oh, I love you. My never have I ever is.

Never have I ever gone to a guy's house that I just met that day well matched that day with on tinder right have you ever done that because I feel like you have pretty wild with me love you bye okay queen I love you too I've never done that I don't think like match with a guy on tinder and then like gone around that night no i've never done that i've never actually met up with anybody from a dating app i don't think there could be a guy listening to this thinking um not true we met on a dating app but i really don't i can't think of anybody that i've met on a dating app and actually met up with in real life let alone on the first day but you crazy girl you crazy you crazy girl so proud of

you you sent me another voice note let's see what this is hey i love your podcast oh wait is this the best thing ever um so never have i ever got cheated on and then as a sorry got flowers and a note through the door the next day saying i'm sorry for being a dickhead and me blocking him has that ever happened to you love you bye it's all so specific from you babe i love you um no i'm honestly too scared to even say this out loud but i've never been cheated on oh my god i swear to god if i ever got cheated on it would be game over for everyone like there would just be no more um but i mean it's a very specific never have i ever, darling. But, I hope you didn't take him back. I hope you didn't.

Okay, next voice note. Hi, Leah. Hi, babe. My name's Rebecca. I'm Irish. She's Irish. I love your podcast. Anyway.

Love you. Send me a voice note for your never have I ever. Um, and I can't really think of an interesting one other than never have I ever had sex in a public place love you bye love you bye I I've never had sex in public place anything I probably would remember if I had right I guess so I'm just gonna go with no I've done oh oh my gosh I've literally just remembered something that me and Jake did like right at the beginning of our relationship oh my god actual fuck guys I can't tell you what it was I know that's just going to be so annoying listen to this and me being like oh my god so crazy what I did not telling you but I physically cannot share that information um I cannot believe that now I've completely like

erased that memory from my brain but you really just awoken it for me um so no I haven't had sex in a public place but I have done something sexual in a public place oh wait oh my god I guess so yeah actually I have I guess I have um but I'm not going to give details because then it gives it away so yeah I have I have okay um let's see next voice no okay oh wait that's another that's a would you rather not never have I ever okay I did say if you're not comfortable voice note and then you can just pop me a message so let's read this one never have ever kept messaging someone you knew but didn't really like but you were bored yeah I've definitely done that do you know what it's actually a really toxic trait of mine and it's something that god forbid if I were ever to become single again it would definitely be something I would have to work on um I have I am incapable of being single and not being entertained by at least one

boy like it's so toxic but it is because my self-esteem's low um yeah and like when I was single last I would just chat to people because I want them to make me feel good about myself because my self-esteem was so low um yeah yeah very bad um she also sent me another one never have I ever returned an item of clothing that you've already worn I've never done this ever and that's not because like I have morals but it's because I'm too lazy I don't even return clothes I haven't worn I'm so fucking lazy with returning clothes that I'll just like convince myself I'll wear it one day and then a year later when I'm doing a wardrobe clear out because it's not new anymore I can just give it away and not feel bad about it I do have a deep up account but like I don't really use it

properly and I should because I have so many clothes and I shop every single week like I get paid fortnightly and I order something new every time but yeah no I've never done that babes have you is that like a common thing that you girls do I know a pretty little thing started to do that thing where they put that big fuck off tag through the trouser leg so that you can't do that but it's just annoying like it's so annoying like it's it's not the vibe it's ruining the whole vibe of the outfit but anyway next um I think I've been saying next dilemma this whole time next dilemma when I mean next never have I ever I don't know what I've been saying who cares let's listen to the next one. Please ignore Peppa Pig in the background.

Love it. But my never have I ever to you is, never have I ever hated one of my friends' partners that much that you've tried your utmost best to convince them to break up with them. Love you, girl. Bye. She also said, just want to say I haven't done this personally i wouldn't unless he was toxic so i wanted to say that so it's fair for her um i've never done this because i don't have much experience with my friends dating guys i don't like

most of my of my friends are single or have been mostly single for a long time um like one of my friends is like one of my best friends is in a relationship like they have a child like it's like a long-term like they're probably gonna get married um and he's great so it's not that situation with them my other best friend is totally single um but she was dating a guy for a long time like over a year who was a massive prick and was just like she she knew he was fucking around um and he like cheated on his girlfriend with her but she didn't know obviously she didn't know um and then yeah like it was just one big one big fucking mess but I would never say to her like you guys know I said this from the very early episodes if you have been listening since then you um might remember we did a topic about like your

friend being in a toxic relationship that was our weekly debate one week um and like whether you can support it and i always say that like even if my friend was the most toxic guy like i would never tell her what to do because first of all she ain't gonna listen do you know what i mean like my friend can tell me what to do i'm not gonna listen to you shut the fuck up you don't know what you're talking about you're just as dumb as me and second of all if she did for some reason listen to you she will always resent you um and you will always be to blame for her feelings so you've always just got to let your friend make their own decisions and be there to pick up the pieces if it does go to shit so no the my answer to that is no god my answer to a lot of these has been no have i said yes to any of these i don't even know okay next uh never have i ever

hi leah it's chase obviously yep my never have i ever is never have i ever ditched my best friend to go spend time with my boyfriend okay pretty simple and i love your podcast by the way oh i love you thank you um look i can't think of a time that i've done it but it's definitely something I would have done like that it just sounds like something I would do um I don't know I can't yeah I can't really think of a specific time that this has happened but it is definitely something that I would do I mean look I'm not one of those girls it's like um fuck my friends I'm in a relationship I'm definitely not that girl but like there's probably been an occasion when my friends wanted to make plans or I've made plans with a friend and then cancelled on them because I'd rather hang out my boyfriend like I'm sure I've done that

before I'm sure we've all done it once right um but yeah usually I I um I have a pretty good balance actually I try to see my friends a lot I live with my boyfriend so I try to make plans on my friends I just said I tried to see them a lot I don't try to see them a lot because none of them live in London apart from my manager who I work with um yeah I feel like I've done it but I can't guys, I can't remember what I was just talking about, Jake and Fab just got home, and my mind's just gone completely blank, but whatever it was, I'm sure you guys know what I'm talking about, what, what, Leo, just shut up, anyway, I'm gonna wrap up this episode now, um, because I always try and keep the

bonus episodes short, right, but they end up just as fucking long as the main episodes, so I need to make a point of actually making them a little bit shorter so that the tuesdays are the main episode guys next week is the big is the big guest i'm so excited i mean talia was probably the biggest guest i'll ever ever get to be honest she's fucking amazing um but I have another one, like, I just don't know how I'm doing this, and I've also got another one lined up, I would love, and I said this at the beginning, but I never thought it would be, like, doable anytime soon, but I would love to do, like, every other week, I have a guest, so, like, Tuesday is guest day, and then the Tuesday after is just me and you, and we can have a proper chat

and gossip about them slag them off and then the week after we get another guest and then the week after that's just me and you again because slag them off do you know what I mean I would love that is the goal one day I would love to do that but my goal is to get this podcast picked up to be honest like I would love to I would love to have like a visual um uh what am I talking about like somewhere where you can watch it basically like YouTube why did I struggle to get that out but because I'm working full-time at the moment I'm producing this by myself like doing it all alone I don't have the time or capabilities or anything to to produce it to the level that I want to produce it so hopefully one day we will be big enough um so that we have a more of a team but that is the dream girls am I right can you

all manifest that for us I say us I don't have a team it sounds like I have a team I'm talking about me and you anyway hope you have the best weekend ever don't text your ex text me be safe um eat before you go out line the stomach or if you're staying in get grab a face mask um have a pamper run yourself a bath if you're into that um watch a bit of tarot on youtube that always chills me out or it gives me anxiety depends what they say do you ever do that does anybody watch tarot on youtube or tiktok and then like if they say something shit like your relationship is about to fail you're gonna be single you're like this girl is fucking rubbish like tarot is stupid on social media like so how how can this be real like there's so many people watching this how can this be real and then you watch one like 10 minutes later and it's like so much money and success is coming your

way you're the love of life the love of your life is going to propose to you like life is going to be amazing and then you're like this girl is fucking amazing like tarot is so good like social media tarot is so accurate it's crazy I just take what I want to hear they're like take whatever resonates I'm like if they'll tell me something I don't want to hear I'm like she's not resonating babe she's not resonating, babe. It's just not resonating. Anyway, I will see you guys on Tuesday for the most exciting episode ever. And yeah, have the best weekend. Be safe. All right.

I love you. Bye. We'll see you next time. pocket for the stuff you love. Select plans even include data overage protection so you can go all out without going over. Don't wait. Our back to school offers are only available for a limited time. Go to Fido.ca or a Fido store near you and save all semester long. Fido. At your side.