Leah on the Line - Bonus 61: GIRL MATH VS BOY MATH

Episode Date: October 19, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone welcome back to a brand new episode of leera and the lion happy friday i'm sunbathing as you listen to this yeah it's highly likely Or maybe I'll be having a little dip in the pool A dip in the pool A trip to the spa And the stays in my shades The whole world according to moi Excuse me? Thank you

Ice tea imported from England Lifeguards imported from Spain someone better tell me to stop because i will sing every fucking high school musical to track and then i'll move on high school musical three what's our house musical four was there actually no there wasn't they all graduated in number three right that's musical four why does that sound like it's a thing though right? Ask Musical 4. Why does that sound like it's a thing though? Anyway, so yeah, guys, this episode, I'm excited. It's time for some maths, maths lessons. I'm just kidding, not actual maths. I am terrible at maths. But one thing I'm very good at is girl math, girl math, girl math. And boy math is a whole nother thing but we will be getting into both in this episode

everybody so i'm just realizing now i actually tried really hard and i just sang that when i just sang that sharp a song i was actually trying really hard oh my god guys if you have been around for a while you will know my favorite musical in the whole world is mean girls and it's fucking coming to the west end for some weird reason i'm not in it for some weird reason i'm not playing janice or regina's kind of fucked no honestly guys i'm so excited we should all go and watch it together i'm so excited i've seen it twice i saw it on broadway and then i saw it on tour when i was in miami it's the best it's honestly the best musical in the whole world recommend everybody we need to all go and see it together we're going to book out the first two rows and we're going to go and we're going to eat

that shit up it's going to be unreal i'm not even joking we should genuinely all do that and then we should go out after i'm acting like there's like five of us that's how it feels like because this podcast is so intimate it feels like we're a really small group of like five best friends i forget that there's a lot more oh that sounded so arrogant oh i forget that there's actually fucking millions of you i'm only only joking. I'm only joking. Honestly, you guys know what I mean. Anyway, so this episode is Girl Math, Boy Math. I'm so excited to get into this. It's going to be funny. I put up some stories and I asked you to send them in. I also have a couple of my own. So I'm so excited. I'm not going to chat for too long in this intro because

I'm just ready to read these and get into it. So get comfy. Thank you so much for being in my company today. Thank you for having me in yours. Let's get into the episode. Thank you so much for listening to Lear on the Line. Head to learontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, you guys, who is ready for this? I'm so excited.

Thank you if you sent these in. So the first one I put up was girl math, right? Let's have a look. I'm sure we can relate to these. Actually, I feel like a lot of people find this confusing i it just makes sense like it it just makes sense so let's just get into it okay getting 20 pound of fuel multiple times a week rather than 60 pound at once saving money absolutely you are yeah 60 pounds is way more than than three lots of 20 you know so next one um buying something extra to avoid paying postage the extra item was free no that's actually not even girl math like that is literally just math

like if it's like spend another five pound for free delivery and delivery is six pound next day delivery six pound but you've just bought some a top for six pound you were gonna pay for the next day delivery of six pound but instead you paid for a top and delivery was free so you got free top because you're gonna pay for the delivery anyway do you know what i mean that's just math babe that's just that just adds up you know um 24 pound in the sale and it will and will wear it at least once a month so it's only one pound a month for two years absolutely it is absolutely it is yeah um buying something using klana because you technically haven't paid for it literally like you're getting 100 pounds worth of products for 30 quid it's literally free you know what i mean um cash is free money absolutely yeah my bank balance has not touched

a fucking thing here i just got my nails done for 40 pound right it was free paid cash it was free my bank balance said what nails what nails you know it's free um being good with saving and rewarding myself with something that costs more than what i saved girl math yeah as you should you know i would always buy myself something as a reward always you know what is also girl math right say i'll go i'll go into a shop and i see this coat i think 100 pound for a coat it's pretty normal but it's a lot of money to just go slap do you know what I mean so I've gone into five I left the coat because it was £100 I thought I'm not spending £100 on one thing I've gone into five other shops I bought one thing for £15 one thing for £45 one thing for £30 and one thing for £20 so I spent £110 if I've just done that correctly

so I've only spent a tenner because I was gonna get the coat for a hundred quid right but instead I got all this for £10 you know what I'm saying girl math right um putting away money and saving so spending it is basically free yes yes do you know what else is free right if we go out for dinner there's a table of seven and I say I'll get the bill I'll pay for the bill I'll pay for the 400 pound bill and you just transfer me money I've made I've made money I just spent 400 pound and you guys are sending me money I've made money. I just spent 400 pound and you guys are sending me money. I've made money tonight. You know, if you don't look at your bank balance, no money has left the account. 100, 100, 100, 100. Getting a refund is free money. Absolutely. It's just straightforward maths. It's just straightforward maths. And if I pay

for something in advance, it's free on the day. I don't pay for that. I want my money. It's not my money. I don't have that money right now. I'm not giving you any money today. It's free. You know, absolutely. Okay. Oh, another great one, guys. If I didn't spend as much in a day as I thought then my budget goes up for the next day it's just funny because it's like so you said right I'm gonna my budget every day is 50 pound a day that's a lot actually to be fair whatever 50 pound a day right I've only spent 30 quid today I've not even left the house I've spent 30 quid I don't know how you'd spend 30 quid without leaving the house but whatever whatever I spent 30 quid then you should go fantastic that's 20 pounds I've got in my I can put into my savings or I'll have leftover at the end of the month to carry over to the next month no we think I've got

70 pounds tomorrow I'm going shopping do you know what i mean well just love it um starting christmas shopping in january by december all the presents i give were free yes it's not my money it's not my money it was her money in january that was her money yeah prepaid holidays are free absolutely anything in advance is free anything in advance is free on the day um when you use your boots advantage advantage card to pay for your shopping so it's basically free wait i don't know if that's girl maths or just facts because i swear it actually is like you know and it's like oh you've got six pounds worth of points do you want to use them surely that's free money it is free it's free they gave you that no am i understanding that wrong spending more money on starbucks so i get my free drink yes yes absolutely

um it's like when you're buying three coffees i'll get them because then i'll get the stamps guys i'll get these i'll get the stamps paying for an all-inclusive holiday and then everything there is free literally in my head i'm like it's free drinks it's free food i've paid for it i've literally paid probably more than what i would pay if i was just gonna buy it all but it's free because it's unlimited it's free do you know what else as well right you know when you get like an unlimited drink in nando's i will get that and i will only ever have one i can't drink that much with my with my meal but it's unlimited so i'll be like a fucking bargain it's like three pounds something for a coke get on i'm literally gonna drink one but to be fair my boyfriend will drink about three or four that is making the most of it I wish I could I just I can't even get to the bottom of one um when I return my clothes I'm

making profit yes yes yes the the food I eat whilst I'm cooking is is free calories yes it just is there's no calories there's no calories in this food that i'm picking while i'm cooking yeah do you know what else has got no calories in sweets in my brain i could smash in a whole bag of harry bowes zero cow zero k cow zero calories in fucking sweets it's so wrong i'd eat a whole bag of maltesers a whole bag of chocolate whatever i'm like oh my god i've just consumed so many calories sweets zero calories it's not food it's literally not food sweets are not food do you know what else is girl math right if you're like me and you don't go on nights out if you spend a lot of money on something whether that be clothes shoes or a dinner whatever you'd think to yourself i could have

gone out every weekend this month and spent a hundred pound every saturday night that's so that's 400 pound i could have spent on getting pissed and just drinking it down the drain but i didn't so i can spend it on whatever i want you know when i buy something expensive could have spent it on alcohol but i didn't and there are people that have and i didn't so i can buy whatever i want that's girl math okay so we understand girl math we most of you guys are girls we have the odd guy that listens love you babes but my majority of listeners are girls so we understand the girl math right now let's get into boy math because okay i love this one it's so true when he thinks about doing something nice for you but doesn't and he tells you about the nice thing

he almost did like i was gonna buy you flowers after work but they didn't okay thanks so you didn't buy me flowers it is boy math that fucking happens all the time oh i saw this i was gonna get a few oh i was gonna order this for you right but you didn't did you and they just think telling you about the nice thing that they was gonna do almost did thought about doing is the same as doing it boy math right okay if they cheat five times on one night they only cheated once boy math the math ain't mathin okay do you know what is boy math i always say this five foot ten no five foot eleven no wait the boy math is if you're five foot 11, you're six foot, right? If they say I'm six foot, they're five foot 11, but they'll say they're six foot, right? What I'm going to say is if

somebody tells you that they're five 11, they are five 10. Because if they was five 11, they'd round up to six foot. They just would, innit? They just would. I i'm six foot i'm about i'm about six foot i'm about six foot you're 5 11 if you tell me you're 5 11 you're 5 10 you're 5 10 do you mean um oh this is a good one my dad's boy math is buying loads of reduced food that we never eat to save money fucking hell do boys love a bargain a lot i mean so do us girlies but oh my god sometimes jamie will bring some shit home he'll be like it was reduced it was reduced i couldn't say no i'm like right okay if they delete the messages or photos it never happened or existed winning one pound eighty on a two pound fifty lottery ticket counts as a win

boy man okay oh wanting zero kids but also having zero condoms boy love saying sorry for something and doing it doing it again boy math boy man um watching their football team miss a chance and saying and saying what are you doing like you could score it 100 easy that's so true what are you doing i could have scored that well you're not playing are you mate you're not pro are you though mate oh on that note saying that they could have been pro if it wasn't for a knee injury yeah yeah having money to bet on the football but not to buy me flowers packing zero pairs of boxers and 54 beers for a three-day trip so true okay oh boy math is hearing i don't like you liking half naked girls on insta

and then replying well i'll just delete the whole app that is boy math that is boy math okay um having a body count 70 plus but wanting his girl to be on two facts if it happened five weeks ago you can't bring up again boy math boy math um asking you on a date and then not speaking to you for two months when you say yes it's true like what what was the point boy math is not having any idea how long an inch actually is getting rejected by a girl and then you never fancied her in the first place oh my god do you know how many times that happens right if you're like on a night out and a guy's obviously flirting with you because listen i will never drop the i've got boyfriend line until you

cross the line because i don't want to be that bitch that's like someone's just being friendly and polite and then i'm like i've got a boyfriend and they're like fucking hell mate you ain't beyonce i'm just being polite i will wait until it's very obvious that they're hitting on me and then i'll say i've actually got boyfriend and then you always not always but a lot of the time you'll get the i don't even fancy you mate you don't even know that i don't even fucking fancy you relax literally relax um if you ask them multiple questions over text they'll only reply to one do you know what i actually do that myself jimmy always calls me out on it like if we're having like you know when you're having like three conversations at

once over text i will just reply to the the last thing i can't do it i don't know if that's boy math or everyone math or some people math um thinking women are after their money when all they own is an xbox and three pairs of socks no why are all men scared of gold diggers it's actually true no what do you have that i'm gonna steal from you oh it's so true oh my god this one is so fucking true boy math is having a 70 inch TV, but no dining table. It's so fucking true. How many guys houses have you been to and they have the fattest fucking telly and no table is so true. Oh my God, guys. Boy math is getting your heart broken once in high school and then making every girl's life after that hell. Literally literally who hurt you who hurt

you oh my god do you know what else is pointy math they'll buy like a car or something and they'll say like but i'm gonna make money off of it when i sell it because i know everything about cars yeah and i know that the the worth is is gonna go up i'm i'm buying it because i know so much about cars that when i sell it i'll either get the same i pay for it it's not gonna lose value or it's gonna go up in value mate okay babe boy math is spending 24 hours of your day with somebody seven days a week and she says she wants to date you but it's too much commitment oh it's so savage but it's just true isn't it oh guys honestly i'm gonna leave it there because we have so many of the same but oh this was fun this is so entertaining basically girl math is all about making purchases right boy math is about you just fucking don't make sense babe

because our math makes sense it's just your way of justifying being a bit of a prick oh thank you so much if you sent them in i really enjoyed this i just love to read them out that's so entertaining oh i love you guys thank you let's wrap up the episode okay everybody I hope you stayed for the outro I need to know how many of you guys do because I'm not gonna lie when somebody says like all right that's it for us today I'm clicking off and I don't want you guys to do that with me maybe I should start listening to other people's outros what are your favorite podcasts my favorites are I really love private parts by Jamie Lang I think it's such a good podcast I think you get some great guests on there as well. But yeah, guys, I will be in Tenerife as

you listen to this. I am nervous. I'm actually nervous to fly. I don't know why, because I have this horrible thing where I'm like, if I can't picture something, I feel like it's not going to happen. And I can't picture myself on holiday. But then I have to remember to myself, I couldn't picture myself on my last holiday. And that was fine. And also, my mum said to me the other day, you know what I always say? Like, I just know gonna happen i just know it i know this bad thing's gonna happen and she was like but you also when we went to bingo the other week you were saying i just know i'm gonna win i just i just have this really strong feeling i'm just gonna win i could just see it i just know it and i didn't she's like next time you start thinking I just know this bad

thing's gonna happen just remember you thought this really good thing was gonna happen and it didn't it's actually fact so it's actually so true but anyway guys I am having a psychic reading it's not gonna be on the pod but obviously I'm gonna tell you guys all about it I'm gonna get it when I'm when I come back from holiday it is over Microsoft Teams which I've never actually used I'm a Zoom girl I've never used Teams but I've got to download it and figure that thing out but yeah guys I'm having a psychic reading I will tell you all about it I'm anxious and nervous obviously having a fear of death like coming face to face with the afterlife is really triggering for me sometimes but I'm just hoping it can bring me peace and comfort and hopefully I can connect you know so I'm nervous

but I'm really excited also my brother and his partner's gender reveal is when I get back literally we come back on a Monday and it's on the Monday so not only am I having a holiday to look forward to right now but I'm not going to have the holiday blues on the flight home because I'm going to be so excited I'm honestly so excited to know what it's going to be isn't it crazy that like in a year's time the baby will just be here oh I'm just buzzing also it's my mum's birthday this weekend so I'm looking forward to that guys I'm going to see The Exorcist the film me and my mom are going to go and watch it in cinema the new exorcist i have to admit my biggest thing that that scares me the most like of all horror films anything is like possession oh my god i find it

terrifying and my mom's like should we go and watch it i was like um yeah i guess i'm so scared last time i went to see a horror film with my mom and auntie, I was so fucking scared, it wasn't even scary, it was a really stupid film, like, it was actually kind of a shit film, I can't even tell you what it was called, right, but we watched it in cinema, and I was petrified, my mum and auntie was just cracking up at me, like, just laughing at me, I was so scared, I was literally, my auntie had to give me her jumper to hide behind it it was so scary so this or I'll tell you I'll let you know if it's any good guys because sometimes you can get a horror film when it finishes and you think that wasn't even scary and then sometimes you can

go that was too scary that was too scary I couldn't enjoy it was too scary I'm hoping for an in the middle where it was a nice feeling you know know, when it's fun to be scared. Also, I really want to do a Halloween night at home. I want to get my brother and his girlfriend around, my sister, her son, me and Jamie and mum, right? And make pumpkin, like carved pumpkins. I want to bake some like Halloween cookies or cakes and watch like a horror film. I really want to do it. I'm getting into my um Halloween spirit now I think after my holiday is when I'll fully slip into cozy season and start my Christmas shopping and stuff who's going winter wonderland this year I'm buzzing for it I've already arranged it like I'm I'm such a winter wonderland slut like I'm a slut bag for winter wonderland I just fucking love it eat it

up every single year eat up take my money take my money it's like 50 pound for a hot dog take it take it take it it's amazing i just love it there and see there's no happiness like winter wonderland so anyway guys i hope you all enjoyed this episode i hope it made you giggle and whatever it is that you're getting up to this weekend enjoy it be safe out there if you're getting drunk don't text your ex text me instead and i'll catch up with you after my holiday guys when i have a nice flight safe flight oh god i've messed up my sentence when i have a oh my god oh god when i have a nice safe flight home thank you everybody love you all hope you all have an amazing weekend and i'll catch up with you on tuesday for a brand new episode all right i love you Catch up with you on Tuesday for a brand new episode. All right. I love you. Bye.

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