Leah on the Line - Bonus 65: My manager is making my life HELL & reading your EMBARRASSING STORIES!

Episode Date: December 1, 2023

Hey babes! Welcome back to another episode of Leah on the Line. Thank you so much for all of your love and support on the podcast, it honestly means the world to me. I hope you love this one!Head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic? Not the ideal weekend plan. Well, those days are over. Maple's Virtual Care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. Happy Friday. Happy Friday, everybody. How are you guys? Big, big shout out to everyone who had Lear on the Line in their Spotify wrapped because I was loving the tags, loving the DMs. It was so cool to see how many minutes we've spent together i think the highest i saw for the year was 7 000 and something that's a lot of time that's probably i don't think i've spent seven hours talking to anyone else this year apart from you doesn't that feel so good, like isn't that actually crazy, like did I say hours, I mean, I mean minutes, 7,000 hours would be crazy, how many days is that, how many hours are in a year,

out of curiosity, let's figure this out, because you know I'm not going to do the maths, okay, one second, I'll just google that, everyone try and work it out in your head, if you're actually good at maths, I know you're gonna think straight away you're gonna think what a fantastic challenge I'm gonna work that out on the spot right now okay it's 8736 so yeah um I meant minutes if I did say hours that means you've listened to me for a year straight literally from the moment the clock struck midnight. Oh, speaking of New Year's, what's everyone's plans? I don't have plans yet. I'm such a last minute girl with New Year's. I don't know what I'm going to be doing. Also,

did I say this in the last episode? I can't remember, but please send me a DM of where you're doing your festive outfits shopping because I really want to get some nice festive outfits I've got a Christmas party in like two weeks time and I need to find a good outfit I've been looking and looking and looking um I just can't find like something that looks perfect do you know what I mean I find it quite hard to style my body type because I've got no tits and no shape and not a big bum. Like, I mean, I mean, oh, God, big back girl has revealed the truth. But, OK, I'll be honest, it's peachy, but it's not large. All right. So, like, I find it really hard to style myself because if I wear like, oh, a little bralette, high waisted trousers,

it really emphasizes the ruler to my shape, which isn't really a big deal, to be honest. Like, who cares? But at the same time, nothing feels better than when you just feel like your outfit is just scenting you in and all the right places. And I'm 26 years old. I keep forgetting if I'm 26 or 27. I keep forgetting if I'm 26 or 27. I'm 26 years old and I still to this day haven't mastered what is the right style of clothes and dresses etc for my body. I think it's a little bandeau mini. Like I think I can do that but then they have to be the right fabric. They've got to suck me in in the right places. Do you know what I mean? If they're all a bit too ruched it can be

a problem. so yeah anyone that has a similar body shape to me what do you guys wear because it's nice to dress for your shape you know I mean at the end of the day you can wear what the fuck you want but you know you you all know what I'm trying to say so yeah um this episode is going to be fun I'm going to do half the episode is going to be dilemmas and then the other half is actually going to be sick because I'm going to read out your your embarrassing stories and I've had a look and all I can say is just be prepared and also don't listen to this loud and in public because it's kind of giving confession diaries. So yeah, you know the rules for that one. We listen in headphones or we listen in a place that we trust for non-judging. All right. But thank you

guys so much for tuning into another episode of Lear on the Line. I'm so happy to have you here with me. Thank you so much to everybody that told a friend. I had some DMs from you guys saying, oh my God, like I recommended it to this person. blah i appreciate you i love you that means so much to me so yeah um let's just get straight into the episode thank you so much for listening to leah on the line head to leahontheline.com to send in your dilemmas and confessions remember to follow on socials to see visual clips and get involved with the weekly debates. Enjoy the episode. Love you. Okay, you guys, let's kick it straight off with some dilemmas. Okay, get comfy. Let's start. All right, let's go. First one. Hey, Angel, been on a few dates with this guy who actually seemed amazing and I'm so picky so it felt great that we had such a connection and I was into him but he's told me that he's still into his ex

I was his first date in two years so of course he got a bit nervous and wondered if he was ready he says he still wants to be friends we went for a comedy night together and he's inviting me to a christmas market what is this friendship thing like how do we go from dating to i've still i'm still obsessed with my ex but do you want to go to a christmas market do you know what i mean how did we get here i'm happy to be his friend and i'm no second option he's lost his chance with me absolutely babe but do you have any advice on how to not let this affect my confidence we've had some hot and heavy nights but now all of a sudden he just sees me as a friend i'm wondering how someone can lose attraction for me that easily and to be honest i'm feeling kind of ugly

she didn't say ugly i mean she didn't say ugly she said ugly but i'm feeling kind of ugly i need some top confidence tips i'm throwing myself back into date in haven't had sex for a few months maybe i need to to get my confidence back any advice would be much appreciated i just want to feel sexy and wanted again love you bye okay first of all we need to absolutely acknowledge and understand that this guy changing his mind about you is nothing to do with you he's literally even said to you, I'm still thinking about my ex. Okay, so can confirm I'm not the problem perfect. Not that you would ever be the problem. Do you know what I mean? But it's just nice to know the

reason so you don't have to overthink it. So you shouldn't be really. We know it's nothing to do with you. You're hot, sexy, gorgeous, funny, incredible in bed. Do you know what I mean? All the above. He just is still into his ex and you know some people you're only human you can't turn it off sometimes so that's one thing you need to keep reminding yourself it's not you like there's nothing you could have done differently there's no other way you could have looked or acted or been around him or given him that would have changed it it's where he's at right now in his life babe and it's nothing to do with you or how good you are all right the next part is you're feeling

kind of ugh which you know what it happens to the best of us we all go through these phases i'm actually feeling a little bit like that right now although my skin i don't want to jinx it because every time i fucking say it i jinx it but my skin right now is slaying slaying the boots house down and it makes me feel really pretty but apart from that until until my skin cleared up I was feeling really fucking ugh and you know what we all go through these phases where it's just like one thing, like at the moment, my nose feels bigger than ever. And you know, we all get them things like, you know, whatever it is that you're fixated on, it feels worse sometimes. And I just think in those moments,

I think, is it that deep? Does it really matter? Do you know what I mean? It doesn't like, we've got to look at everything else that is important because we get so wrapped up in the way that we look right. And we try so hard to make ourselves feel better. But I think the problem starts deeper than that. And that's where we need to try and heal. So rather than going, oh, I don't know, my, my lips, my lip filler has gone down loads. It's making me feel really ugly. Like I love what I look like with filler. I'm going to go get more filler. It's fine. If you, like me, to be honest, I'm someone that depends on, like my lip filler makes me feel so much better. Okay. And I'm not ashamed of it. I absolutely love my big juicy lips, right? And they're really small at the moment, but rather than looking at myself, no, they're not really small to be honest. They're not,

but they're smaller. They've dissolved a lot. But rather than looking at myself no they're not really small to be honest they're not but they're smaller they've dissolved a lot but rather than looking at myself and being like oh my god i look so ugly i need my lips i need my lips on i'm just like my lips have just dissolved a bit and it isn't that deep like that is not the most interesting thing about me do you know what i mean your beautiful inside that's what we need to actually like what so i'd work on in those moments rather than going oh I'm just going to go and get more filler ASAP which I will like don't get me wrong but that's not what's going to make me feel better what's going to make me feel better is but I'm beautiful inside do you know what I mean and you're still beautiful regardless of whatever it is that you're

fixated on so rather than than getting all worked up on the outside, obviously we take pride in it. And that's, you know, sometimes it is part of being a girl, not all the time, but some of us, that is just part of what it feels like, you know. But I think we have to understand that you are gorgeous, no matter what anyone else looks like, what anyone else says, what anyone else says what anyone else thinks you're gorgeous because of who you are inside and that reflects on the outside so try really hard i know it's not easy but try to not let this affect your confidence and remind yourself that it's nothing to do with you and you are beautiful and don't give it any more thought

than that and yeah get back out there in the dating world if that is you are beautiful and don't give it any more thought than that and yeah get back out there in the dating world if that is what you want but don't do it for confidence i won't lie i've done it myself like we've all done it you know i mean you go on a dating app for compliments not to fucking meet up with anyone but we've all been through those phases and that's fine as long as you don't feel like that is the sole reason you're doing it and the only reason to feel good about yourself because then it means that we're going to be at a point where you only rely on relationships and situationships to feel good and then that makes rejection or failed situationships failed relationships so much harder because you take

that personally because you feel like you need them to feel good about yourself does that make any sense so yeah take from that what you will I feel like I just yabba yabba yabba'd so much then but yeah I I love you I think you're beautiful inside and out and that's all that matters and he's just still into his ex and you know what there's nothing you can do about it you couldn't have done anything differently to change the outcome of that situation and you've got the right mentality he had his chance and he's fucking lost it so you know what we say over at leo on the line you know what i'm gonna say fuck off then all right love you next dilemma okay hi leo absolutely love you love you. I have a dilemma and I would really appreciate your advice. To give some context, I've been working at my job for one and a half years now,

casual student job. It's been all right, nothing much to complain about. But recently, a colleague of mine has had the promise of a potential promotion. This is an issue for me because since she has heard that she has the opportunity to become shift leader, she has decided to use me as her guinea pig to practice her managing skills on. Yuck, literally. Get away from me with that. During our shifts, she watches everything I do with a critical eye and waits for me to do the slightest thing wrong so that she can call call me out on it or literally get off my tail literally breathing down my neck her and i have both been at this company the same amount of time but now she feels entitled to tell me what to do yeah i don't know about that babe i'm I'm quite a shy, reserved person, whereas she is outgoing, loud

and assertive. Listen, I've once heard a saying, the loudest person in the room is the most insecure. I don't know how true it is, to be honest, probably not true. It's been true sometimes that I have witnessed myself. Sometimes I just overcompensate and you know. Okay, so I feel that she sees me as the perfect weak target to micromanage yeah i i probably agree with that i'm sure she does i'm nearly to my reaching point with this girl i dread going to work when i see we are working the same shifts oh that is the worst that is literally the worst i hate confrontation and drama and i know if i say anything to her or the managers about the situation the news will spread and everyone will know plus since she might be

promoted soon i feel that the managers won't acknowledge my side please help me what do i do i don't want to quit this job yet okay we've all come across people like that let me tell you about one one of the experiences I had similar so I worked I won't name the restaurant but I worked at a restaurant as a waitress slash bartender right and this girl joins who was about three years younger than me I think she was 19 and I was 21 yeah that would make sense actually because it was pretty soon after I graduated uni and she bearing in mind both the managers were men and I have been known to listen you know when your manager fucking fancies you because they flirt and they cross the line and I I'm like listen you're not gonna take advantage of me here

I'm gonna take advantage of the fact that you fancy me and get everything I want I'm like oh babe I really want Saturday off like I really want it get flutter the eyelashes okay Leah yes Leah whatever you want Leah okay so she joins and she starts a relationship with the manager and obviously then I'm like I'm not flirting with the fucking manager first of all but I'm gonna stop trying to like get my own way and flutter my eyelashes just out of respect but whatever anyway I think she could tell that he like had a bit of a crush on me it was like going around the group he kind of fancied every all of the girls to be honest he was one of them slimy managers i won't lie lovely guy but loved loved the fact that all of the people that worked on on the floor were all women funnily enough

but anyway so i think she felt this like i don't know she was aware of the situation anyway i was always very nice to her because why wouldn't I be right and she had it out for me she had it out for me to the point where she would shout at me in front of all the customers and there was this one time where I was stood at the bar waiting for these tables drinks and I was my manager was at the bar he was working the bar that shift and I was like come on like I literally need these drinks like they're getting impatient they're complaining their food's nearly ready they still haven't got their drinks like come on let's pick up the pace this is not looking good this girl shouts across the restaurant from the other side well maybe if leah stopped flirting

with blank insert name there i turned around i said she didn't she ain't talking to me like that I'm sure anyway the manager's like cringing inside so I said come on get these drinks gone I take the drinks to the table make sure everybody in my section is okay and then I go to her and I say can I talk to you at the back please and I And I fucking whacked her one time. I'm obviously joking, Jesus. She says, she comes out the back with me. I said, what, what was that? What was that? She says, well, you were flirting with blah, blah, blah. Instead of serving the customers, I said, I absolutely was not. First of all, second of all, don't shout at me. Second of all, don't shout at me in front of the customers mate anyway she gets promoted to assistant manager okay and this energy continued

like she made my shifts very difficult for me in the most unnecessary way she was on me like this woman is on you like over my shoulder calling me out if I made any little mistake trying to catch me out on mistakes and I'll be like the manager literally told me to do it so anyway and it got to the point where we were both in the kitchen and actually how did the situation start oh yeah yeah yeah I had a table waiting for drinks again funnily enough and the diet coke on the what's it called uh post mix had run out right you know like the you you guys know if you know you know whatever anyway so i said to one of the people that was on the floor is anyone able to go and change the post mix for the for the diet coke really quick

she said yeah i'll go and do it goes out into the kitchen i'm waiting at this bar for 20 minutes i'm meant to be waitressing right i'm going back to my tables coming back to the bar the diet coke's still not on right so when i go into the kitchen she's just stood there with the manager like having a right little flirt i said okay i don't no one showed me how to change the post mix but if anyone that is available right now can change the post mix that would be great because my table are complaining she fucking screams at me i'm doing it i was like okay and we literally was just stood in the kitchen arguing i i don't think i've ever argued with somebody that is not

a member of my family you know apart or like a boyfriend or whatever but I've never physically argued like in person and it was a very strange situation because there's just no fucking need do you know what it means anyway it got to the point where I said to her I was like you will not do this to me you have tried to intimidate me since you joined this place you can't intimidate me why should you intimidate me since you joined this place. You can't intimidate me. Why should you intimidate me? You're abusing your role as assistant manager. And I literally took my apron off and I left and I never went back. And that is a fact. So my advice to you is, I think it's important to let people know your boundaries and how you are willing to be treated. So don't

breathe down my neck. Do you know what I mean? Stop watching my every move. It doesn't always have to be a confrontational conversation. You can literally say like, hey, I'm like, I'm just going to let you know, the way that you're being with me at the moment is making me uncomfortable. Do you know what I mean? Like you don't have to come from a, oh, can you fuck off? Follow me everywhere. You can just say like, you're making me uncomfortable. Do you know what I mean? Like you don't have to come from a, oh, can you fuck off following me everywhere? You can just say like, you're making me quite uncomfortable with how you're following me around and picking up every little mistake I make. It's putting me really on edge. And I'll be honest with you, it's making me dread my shifts. And I don't want to feel like that because I like this job and come from an angle of, you know, I don't want

to cause a problem. I don't want to cause a problem I don't want to upset anyone but I just want to let you know how I'm feeling because listen you absolutely have the right to tell somebody when they're making you uncomfortable and upsetting you you're not in the wrong for doing that as long as you don't come at them aggressively or or in a nasty way and to be honest I know that's easier said than done to confront somebody because it's really daunting and especially if they're an intimidating person so if you don't feel comfortable with that your managers have a duty of care there to listen to you and you're saying I feel like they're not going to listen to me if they don't listen to you and you're saying i feel like they're not going to listen to me if they don't listen to you leave the job like i'm not joking it's not nice to be made uncomfortable and pushed and backed

into a corner you will accept the way that you're being treated because we're the managers if anyone abuses their power don't work for them like full stop if you can't even come to a resolution to the point where you've bought you've put your feelings on the table you've told someone they're making you uncomfortable you've told the managers that somebody is making you uncomfortable in your team they have a responsibility to their there to make sure that everybody is happy in the workplace and if they're not fulfilling that responsibility that's not a company i would want to be working for personally so that's my advice just remember that you are doing nothing wrong by telling someone that they're making you uncomfortable nothing wrong and it will your

heart will be going pitter-patter and it's really fucking intimidating but do what do whichever way is more comfortable to you go directly to her say it nicely or go straight to the managers and see what happens and if if it gets worse leave if they don't do anything leave because at the end of the day there are so many jobs out there and it no job is worth your mental health deteriorating trust me on that i learned that the hard way you think and and also don't feel like oh she's pushed me out of my job like if you do if it does get worse and you decide to leave don't feel like oh she's pushed me out of my job like if you do if it does get worse and you decide to leave don't feel like they pushed you out of your job and they win you actually chose what was better for you and you win by leaving so yeah that's my advice to you

let me know what happens with that i'm really sorry that somebody's doing that to you honestly there is nothing i really dislike more than people that abuse power in a workplace it's so vile and you know what it fucking happens everywhere I have seen it so many times and it wasn't until I got a lot older that I realized you're an adult and I'm an adult I'm a human and you're a human because I used to have this thing thing where I'd feel like a child no matter how old I was probably only until only until about two years ago so that's like 24 years old I felt like a kid I could be 23 years old and being being intimidated by a 26 year old and I felt like a teenager I felt so intimidated I felt like a kid and then it just like clicked one day I was like I'm an adult and you're an adult this is not okay like you don't

get to just treat people like shit there's literally no need and and because I used to think if you stand up for yourself that's confrontational and it's aggy and it's aggressive because my experience of being intimidated was in school where if you did stand up for yourself it was it was always ending in hell in hell you would lose every time you could not stand up for yourself to my school bully so that's I think that's where it came from and then it wasn't until I got older and I thought you can tell somebody how they're making you feel without being a bitch do you know what I mean you can just say like I I just feel like you're trying to intimidate me and I don't like it it's making me really uncomfortable do you know what I mean so yeah love you so much okay next dilemma hey please can you cover this on a podcast

before the 9th of December I can indeed oh my god by the way happy december everybody happy december snow is falling all around me no because it actually is it was snowing today didn't settle but it was so cute my friend picked me up jess you guys know all about jess she picked me up we're driving to hers we had Mariah Carey was on and it was snowing was literally so happy I'm a bit of a scrooge when it comes to snow when it's really thick snow and you can't go anywhere and all your shoes get fucked and you get wet feet and your hands are blue and numb but there's something about snowfall that I really love you know all right anyway continuing on I need some help I want to know people's experiences sleeping

with someone on the first date like does it ruin things or can it still progress into something because I'm undecided on what I want to do I've implied to him that I might stay with him so I know he's thinking I will sleep with him and And I do really want to, but concerned what would happen after if I do. Thank you if you do and hope you're well. Oh, I love you. Okay. So I, I've spoken about this loads and it is a theory that the box theory, right? Where you are already in a box. I won't go straight into it again because I know so many of you have heard this a lot. You go straight into a box when a guy meets you

or starts talking to you, they already know their intentions, whether that's they want to fuck you or they want to wife you or whatever else options there might be. They already know. And it doesn't matter what you do, whether you sleep with them on the first date

or the 10th date they you will remain in that box so if you are just a fuck to them there's a high chance they might take you on 10 dates and they get that fuck and they still ghost or if you are the wifey that they want if you're in the wifey box you could sleep with them on the first date and they will still want you to be wifey so this is just a theory i don't know how true it is but i would say in my experience like you know when you're dating someone you know if you want to just like date them and you're not it's not that deep or if you if you really like them you want a relationship and how soon you sleep with them doesn't really change it from what you want so I think my advice to you

is do what feels right to you there is always a risk of being dumped or ghosted or things being called off whether you sleep with someone or not and if you feel like you would sleep with them and if they called it off that would absolutely crush you then don't do it if you feel like you know what if we sleep together and it goes nowhere that's okay i'm okay with it then do what you want to do at the end of the day do what do whatever is right to protect your feelings if you would rather know for sure that he's genuinely genuinely into you then just wait if you feel like you can handle it if it's just sex and doesn't go any further do what you want to do baby girl shave that purse you know no do you know what's a really

good tip actually if you if you are going on a date with someone and you're like okay i'm say you're like sleeping around someone's house or i don't know just hanging out with theirs and you're like okay i'm say you're like sleeping around someone's house or i don't know just hanging out with theirs and you're like i really don't want to sleep with them yeah i really want to just like hold out for a bit longer wear your ugliest knickers trust me isn't that such a good trick just wear your ugliest knickers you're not going to take your pants off to be fair if you're under the covers you ain't gonna see them so it's easily done but it does help or if you're someone that likes a clean shaved purse don't shave and wear ugly knickers and then even even when you really want to but you've told yourself you'll wait a bit longer you will wait a bit longer you know i think you've already decided if you meet somebody

and say you're a clean shaved girl if you're already, I think you've already decided if you meet somebody and say you're a clean shaved girl, if you're already meeting somebody and you've clean shaved and you've got sexy matching underwear on, you've already decided, you know, decisions already made. But whatever you want, babe, I'm rooting for you either way. Okay, guys, I'm really excited for this. Let's get into some of your embarrassing stories. Okay, everybody, I'm so excited to read these to you because I have been laughing so much at some of these. Okay, so I put up a story saying, what is the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you? Picture this. You're at a picnic with pals and bam, you suddenly feel unwell. But going to the clinic, not the ideal weekend plan.

Well, those days are over. Maple's virtual care has got your back. With 24-7 access to licensed doctors and nurse practitioners within minutes. Need a diagnosis or prescription? Sorted right from your phone, right in time for your next picnic. Download the Maple app today and have more summer this summer.

And I will obviously keep them all anonymous. The first one is short and sweet. The rest of them are like long stories, but I wanted to include this because it did make me giggle. It says, the most embarrassing things ever happened to you being cheated on three times and staying with him it's the star

eyes she put star eyes and a sticking out tongue emoji so it just made me laugh it's not funny it's not funny that you got cheated on it's the fact that that was your response well that was embarrassing i just love it i don't love it i don't love that you got cheated on but you know i mean oh i just said that really croaky voice and i absolutely hate it when people do that but yeah like oh god gross all right i uploaded a picture to instagram of me and my best friend and accidentally tagged my boyfriend's ex-girlfriend instead of my best friend it was up for hours before someone messaged me to tell me thank god i was private so she wouldn't have got the notification wait surely she'd get a notification saying you was tagged

in a post but she just wouldn't be able to see it or maybe not I don't know and luckily me and my boyfriend were previously stalking her together hence why she came up as suggested whoa you and your boyfriend were sat stalking his ex okay bestie whatever yeah so we could laugh it off but it's still so humiliating that it was on my instagram for everyone to see oh that's so funny it took so long no because why is it so embarrassing when you accidentally tag the wrong person let alone when it's your fucking boyfriend's ex i've accidentally tagged the wrong person before and i i go bright red in the face even sat at home no one can see me i'm so embarrassed all right next one my boyfriend was driving me home from work one day and we stopped at some I'm so embarrassed. All right. Next one.

My boyfriend was driving me home from work one day and we stopped at some lights and could see some lads crowded around another lad. I work in a hospital, so my initial thought was that someone was injured or needed medical assistance. Oh. So I got out the car and I ran over and I asked if they were all okay.

And they all looked at me so confused and said, yeah, you. What the fuck? I was like, yeah, do you guys need help? And they were like, no, we're just fixing this motorbike. When I got closer, I could see that they were in fact gathered fixing this motorbike. When I got closer, I could see that they were in fact gathered around a motorbike. I was like, oh, okay. And ran back across the road while they were all laughing at me.

No, why are they laughing? The worst thing is the traffic light stayed on red for what seemed like ages after, so we couldn't even drive away. I was like like who do i think i am thinking i can just run out and save lives after work absolute freak i'm a paramedic i'm a paramedic who needs help who needs assistance you're not a paramedic but that's so funny oh that's hilarious i mean good for you though for doing that

love that from you what the fact they were like yeah you do you guys need help is the patient breathing do you need help no they're thinking does she is she a motorbike expert or something do you guys need a hand over here you guys all know what you're doing okay next one the most embarrassing thing that ever happened to me is in my single girly era oh my god guys listen to this listen to this brutal story i was just chilling having fun so i met up with this guy just for sex I got in his car. It's not even funny. I would simply evaporate if this happened to me. I got in his car and immediately he screamed at me to get out. He screamed at me to get out he screamed at me to get out and i quote

get the fuck out you are an absolute catfish i have never felt more embarrassed in my entire life. XOXO. Not the fuck off. Get the fuck out. You're an absolute catfish. Fuck off. Oh my god.

You've just sat in the car. Do you know what's cracking me up the most i'm picturing your face the shock the confusion and just like reaching scattering your hand along the door trying to find the door handle just scattering it trying to find it but in a panic oh get the fuck out. You absolute catfish. Fuck off. Oh my God. What a horrible person. What a vile person. Jeez. You ain't that fucking good looking yourself, hon. Jesus. All right, guys, this might be the worst one, I think. No, I actually don't know if it is, to be honest, and that's saying something. Okay, you guys ready for this't know if there's if this is way too much tmi i was having sex with my now husband doggy style and he puts the tip of my little bullet vibrator

in my bum all good until i moved to change position is the fucking wording for me it's the word she chose okay until i moved to change position and my bum sucked it up sucked it up no actually i'm sorry i can't a million thoughts are racing through my head such as sitting in a and e with a vibrating bullet up my bum oh my god of course it's fucking vibrating it's vibrating that must have felt vile oh Oh my god, it's lost. It is lost and it's vibrating. It is wriggling up there. You ever like put a vibrator down on a table? It will walk. It is walking. Oh my god. He's telling me to bend over like he's going to reach in and grab it.

Oh, bless him though. I got to walk. Sorry, I go to walk to the bathroom and feel it moving up with every step how deep can it go in a panic i squatted down and i pushed as hard as i could and out shot the bullet with a tiny speck of poo. The way it shot out. It shot. It shot out. We both laugh about it all the time. Not embarrassing to us as a couple,

but embarrassing to tell the world. Why have I just told this story? It sucked it up and it shot out with poo guys is that the worst thing you've ever heard but like the best thing you've ever heard like fucking hilarious no one has put in a bullet anywhere near that bumhole after reading that that is so fucking funny okay this one's funny this one is really funny i was at an awards on stage for dance and for some reason i really thought they said our group name for the award so i stood up in front of everyone dot dot dot we did not win no it's so funny to picture imagine there's there's groups of dance groups sat on a stage and they say the winner is insert name the actual group stands up she

fucking stands up all the way over there on her own oh thank you guys oh guys get up guys get up guys we won no because you would have had your winner face on as well oh my god oh how did you play that out i would have just pretended i've stood up with with excitement for the winners oh well done clap clap clap clap do you mean oh it's hilarious okay you ready for this leah i have a story for you so a few years ago you ready for this? Leah, I have a story for you. So a few years ago, sorry, yuck. So a few years ago when I was in my ex's at the time, we were just chilling after eating food. After a few mins, my stomach started to hurt. So I said, oh, I'll try to go use the toilet. But I didn't need to go. I went back to chilling. But after a while, my stomach hurt really bad.

And I thought, oh, fuck, I need to go now. I went to go to the bathroom, but his brother walked in right before I got there. And I was absolutely dying to go. Yeah, you can't exactly go. No, move. I'm going to shit my pants. It's just like, oh, after you. Do you know what I mean?

Okay. At this point, I was pacing around my boyfriend's room waiting for the bathroom to come free while my boyfriend was downstairs when the bathroom became free my ex-boyfriend at the time sister-in-law who was also pregnant at the time walked straight in before me again oh fucking hell at this point i was happy oh sorry at this point i was happening oh my god leah at this point it was happening i started to literally poop my pants unwillingly and i couldn't stop it it was out of my control oh before it fully happened and before i exploded i had to ask my boyfriend if he would judge me if i pooed in his back garden guys guys for some reason he said he wouldn't mind did you explain the bathroom was

taken hey babe don't mind if i take a shit in your garden do you all right babe don't mind if i take a massive shit in your back garden do you he's like no go for it so yeah for some reason he said he wouldn't mind and i had to literally shit in his back garden as the only bathroom wasn't free and i couldn't stop it he surprisingly did not dump me after this. And we stayed together for a solid one slash two years after that. Can't believe I'm telling you this. That is so funny. Oh my God. That is horror.

That is hell and horror. It is hell. Imagine guys. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Holy fuck. Okay. This is a really good one. love this hey girls so I'm about to head off on a week-long holiday to Fiji and as we all know the last day before a holiday

is mayhem trying to get shit done so I turned to my colleague and asked her to type me out a basic out-of-office template and I'll plug in the dates. I copy and paste her template, punch in my return date, shut my laptop and leave the office. Fast forward to my first day back. Okay, so she's been on the holiday. She's been off all week and my boss calls me into a meeting room. Oh fuck, what have I done? He goes, what's the deal with your out of office message confused i grabbed my laptop pull up the settings and there it is guys are you fucking ready so this is what her professional account was replying to any emails that she was receiving hi there i'm currently on leave and will be returning 8th of the 10th 2023 blah blah blah write something about dot dot dot something in my absence please contact blah blah

blah blah blah blah blah and then assist and then assist with your inquiry blah blah blah thanks for your understanding or whatever kind Kind regards. Blah, blah, blah. Do you know what I actually think is the funniest bit? Thanks for your understanding or whatever. In my absence, please contact blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then I'll assist with your inquiry. Blah, blah, blah. Thanks for your understanding or whatever.

Kind regards. Blah, blah, blah. Let's just say I gave everyone a good laugh and a lesson in how not to set an out of office message i hope this embarrassing story makes it on of course that made it on it is a fucking gold story i love that i'm currently on leave and will be returning 8th of the 10th 2023 blah blah blah write something about blah, blah, blah. In my absence, please contact blah, blah, blah. They'll assist with your inquiry. Blah, blah, blah. Thanks for your understanding or whatever.

Kind regards. Blah, blah, blah. I'm sorry. That is fucking hilarious. Because it doesn't sound like that's a fucking template. It sounds like you couldn't give a fuck. It's genius. I love that love that well live and learn babe all right let's do this one okay i was pregnant and i went on a holiday with my boyfriend's parents

and i'd not known them long we were in a really posh restaurant in greece and my ibs was playing up i went to the toilet and it was bad, like really bad. I must have been sat there for at least half hour to the point where people were knocking on the door asking if I was okay because the staff saw that I was pregnant and there's only two toilets so they had watched me walk in. You've literally gone in this toilet and just vanished and just disappeared to them. Anyway, it finally finished it's finally finished and the toilet wouldn't flush i would just leave i'm like oh sorry whoever was in there half an hour ago i called my boyfriend to come and save me somehow but when i opened the cubicle door

he was stood there with the manager god knows why the manager followed him no because he's he's definitely told the manager my girlfriend's stuck in the toilet like the lock must be broke can you come and help me oh my god the manager didn't speak much English so there I was pointing down at the toilet full of my shit telling him it went flush and he had no idea what i was saying so he must have thought i just wanted to show him my shit this was a very small restaurant too so everyone could see slash hear us my boyfriend's parents up at every family gathering. That, okay, I genuinely think that's got to be one of the worst ones today. Because I'm sorry. And she also said, and it stank.

The toilet, the restaurant was so small, hence the only two toilets. Guys. Guys. Look at my shirt the manager's thinking you're just going look at my shirt look how much shit it's just come out me oh this this podcast is getting real gross sorry guys okay actually i have a story because i was trying to think of the most embarrassing thing that's happened to me but i don't have anything that's anywhere near touch fucking wood touch wood to be honest that i don't ever have a story there's anything near as interesting as your stories but my when i was in london recently

with my mom and auntie we we went to Lidl. Okay, Liam, if you're listening, you know the story I'm about to tell. I'm sorry. Right, so it's not that bad. It's just fucking funny. Okay, so my auntie is my mum's twin. So she's my mum's age, which I think makes this funnier, right? So everyone just picture this as your mum, like someone of your mum's age, right age right she's in Lidl she's buying a couple of beers or whatever something you need

ID for and actually I think it was Red Bull so it was a self-checkout where it doesn't matter the fact that she's clearly over 25 no offense but they need to come and like mark it off with their like what's it called like employee code right and it was one of the Lidl's where they have a screen on the self-checkout you know where you can look up and you see yourself in the screen so the the employee the staff member comes over because it's flagged up like beeping red like wait for assistance, verify your age, you come, you come over, and he's gone, just look up in the screen for me, right, my auntie, she's, she's a clever woman, right, but you can really prank her, like, I can really prank my auntie if I wanted to, right? Look up in the screen for me. She stands there. She puts her hands together. She showed me her body language. It's made it 10 times funnier. I

wish you guys could see me. She's got her hands together in front of her. Picture it, right? Quite tense as if she's looking into a camera, right? Well, she is. Looks up into the screen and the guy goes, dead serious. Right, now just smile for me me just picture this is your mum okay she smiles big smile big smile for the camera big grin right just grinning grinning at this camera because this bloke's told her to and he went okay cool so's registered now. So next time you come in, you won't have to show any ID or I won't have to mark you off because it's going to remember your face. And she's gone, oh, brilliant. Oh, brilliant, thanks.

He's taking the piss. She's like, brilliant god that's clever god that's really clever brilliant that's oh that's so much easier next time i come in that's handy so next time i come in, she's going to recognise my face, no, he's just had you for an absolute donut, honestly, I was crying when she was telling me this story, because she was just on her own, like, she was just on her own, minding her own business, she's trying to buy a couple of cans of Red Bull, whatever, just literally minding her own business, and she got taken for an absolute ride by the fucking employee just look up there for me yeah nice big smile no that is embarrassing though because if you actually fell for that that is so embarrassing and you know what i said to her

i bet he has been waiting for someone to finally fall for it and he fucking got you so funny i was in tears i literally weed myself i was laughing that much if you know my auntie it's so much funnier as well because her body language was just making me crease oh oh my god i loved this we have to do this again sometime we should totally do this again sometime if you have any embarrassing stories send them in my dms right now we can literally add them whenever you want so send them in my dms right now if anything springs to mind all right guys thank you so much if you sent them in i am so grateful that you trust me with these stories because i know they are very embarrassing and i'm glad we can all laugh at them together you know best friends for life all right let's wrap up the episode okay guys thank you so much if you stayed for the outro i appreciate you so much remember if you have a spare two seconds please just hit me with a five star rating it would mean the absolute

world five star please and yeah follow leah on the line and leah levain on all socials and i will speak to you guys on tuesday for a brand new episode have the best weekend i love you bye