Leah on the Line - Confession Diaries 10: I used a courgette in SEX and my dog ATE IT afterwards...

Episode Date: August 18, 2022

Hello babes. It's officially the final episode of the Confession Diaries. What an amazing 10 weeks it has been! I've absolutely loved hearing all of your crazy stories, but remember I'll be reading a ...couple out every week so keep them coming in! Thank you so much to everybody who made this series amazing, you are the heart of LOTL! As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hello. Hi, everyone. Welcome back to a brand new episode of Lear on the Line. How are you? Happy Friday. It's a sad day, everyone. This is the official final episode of the Confession Diaries. but don't worry I think I want to keep confession diaries a thing maybe like one or two at the end of every episode just read out a couple of confessions just to end the episodes make them a little bit longer add it as like a little feature rather than like a full-blown episode what do you guys think that I think I want to do that at least for a little bit so yeah still haven't decided what the new Friday episode thing is going to be I honestly have no fucking clue I need to really uh get something in the
Starting point is 00:00:50 bag there if anyone has any ideas honestly throw them directly at my face because I am a little bit stuck on that one but yeah happy Friday how are you what's your plans this weekend I am celebrating my birthday this weekend I don't know if I mentioned it's my birthday on Monday um but I'm having some family over and a couple of friends for some drinks just because I love garden parties at my mum's house they're always so much fun we just play that beer pong and get really drunk and croak and just have a really good time so yeah I'm doing that on Saturday and then on Monday I'm that's my actual birthday I'm going to Manchester for a lovely dinner and drunkies which I'm so excited for I'm really looking forward to it I love Manchester so yeah that's my plans what are your plans I hope you have some plans if not I hope you enjoy
Starting point is 00:01:35 doing absolutely nothing because sometimes you it's good to do nothing isn't it sometimes you don't want to fucking do any you don't want to get out of bed for a weekend and that's all right it's all right to do that if you just want to lay in bed if you don't even want to brush your teeth no let's all have good hygiene here brush your teeth but if you don't if you don't want to get out of bed if you don't want to get dressed that's okay as long as it's it's because it's good for your mental health rather than a detriment you know what i'm saying everyone anyway how are you hope you're doing well hope you've had a fantastic week thank you so much for all the love you guys loved getting the guys on last week I think it was a really good idea we
Starting point is 00:02:09 definitely need to get your boyfriends slash fiancee slash partners involved every week because obviously Lear on the line it's so girly isn't it I know we have a lot of male listeners shout out to you babes love you all but it's it's mainly like a girl power place isn't it so it's really good and fun to have the guys involved so thank you so much if you got involved I love having you here you're always welcome on the line um and thanks to all all you got all you got all you lot who got your partners involved love you so much um so yeah I am really excited it's the last confession diaries it's a sad day but you know I think it's seen its time I think it is it's the last confession diaries it's a sad day but you know I think it's seen its time I think it is it's the right thing to do you know you know when like at
Starting point is 00:02:50 the end of your relationship when you both mutually agree that it's over and it's just not working anymore there's just no spark between Lear and the Lion and the confession diaries at the moment and it's it's okay to go separate ways you know maybe we'll get back together one day but right now we're on a break we're taking a Ross and Rachel break and I'm gonna do a Ross and replace them every Friday and if they get back together I'll just say look babe we're on a break do you know what I mean did everyone watch the friends reunion I watched it for the second time the other day I absolutely love it you know what my favorite episode of friends is I can't remember what it's called something about police is when Ross is he buys that sofa and oh my phone just went off oh my god I'm so rude it's where
Starting point is 00:03:25 they have to pay for delivery and he's like we can just do it ourselves and then he's getting up the sofa with Rachel and Chandler and he's like pivot pivot pivot I absolutely love it honestly I just love it so much my favorite episode of all time anyway let's dive into some confessions thank you so much to everybody that sent them in I put a post out saying look guys this could be your final opportunity to get a confession in for the confession diaries on Leah on the line and you guys did not disappoint we have a lot of confessions today I'm so excited so yeah let's get straight into it all right first confession I used to sleep with my personal trainer every session
Starting point is 00:04:09 and it went on for about a year. Sometimes before, if you couldn't wait, lol. We both knew it was coming. And then at the end, he'd kiss me. And the next thing you knew, we were shagging on the floor. He rented out the gym so no one else was there. Listen, I think that's sexy. I think it's hot. I think it it's fun as long as you were both single of course what I'd like to know is why that stopped why did that come to an end you know that's an official um friends with benefits situation there but I kind of love it it's like you get your workout in and apparently like working out makes you horny and it like releases those hormones so you know i get it i get it but this does not help the dilemma that we had last week where she was concerned about her boyfriend being a pt
Starting point is 00:04:49 and training like beautiful girls that flirt with him this does not help that so if you're listening babe don't don't let that get into your head all right you are gorgeous stunning do not worry about this all right next confession when i found out i had chlamydia, I was wearing the underwear that came free from a previous test kit with the writing on chlamydia, have you got it? I mean, first of all, I find it quite bizarre that you would wear those underwear, those underwear, that underwear, what's the correct term there? That underwear, the underwear, I don't know. Like I personally am not wearing underwear that has the word chlamydia on, but each to their own, maybe they were like backup pants, maybe it's laundry day and you're like, oh, Like I personally am not wearing underwear that has the word chlamydia on, but each to their own, babe. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:05:25 Maybe they were like backup pants. Maybe it's laundry day and you're like, oh, fuck now, I'm just going to have to wear the chlamydia ones. Maybe you accidentally manifested that into your life by wearing those pants. I don't really think you can manifest an STI, to be fair. Listen, I'm proud of you for taking the test. That is very important. But what I am going to say is, my gorgeous girl um let's start wearing some condoms okay beautiful stunning queen no more STIs but well done for taking a test and maybe throw those pants in the
Starting point is 00:05:53 bin just in case they are cursed okay next confession help I was seeing a guy for two years on and off he was nine years older than me but I literally loved him he wouldn't commit but I wasn't phased just loved the attention from him sent nudes and spoke about sleeping together acted like a couple together kissing the law and he used to come over every night after work for an hour ish anyway fast forward and i find out he's got a girlfriend and a kid binned him off straight away but i don't know whether to tell her i feel so so so bad like i don't want to ruin her life please help me oh my god okay this is kind of a dilemma but you did send it in on the confessions form um I'm telling her if I were you I'm not being funny you haven't done anything wrong because you didn't know so you
Starting point is 00:06:33 are absolutely not in the wrong it's just gonna be one of those heartbreaking moments of like hey girl I'm so sorry to tell you this oh my god those messages honestly i personally am going to tell her if i was you because like that guy does not deserve to get away with that fucking shit do you know what i mean and you're not the one that's ruining her life he has it's not going to ruin her life she is you know she's more than just her relationship but it's going to fucking crush her but that's not on you that is on him you had you'd had no idea you didn't do anything wrong um, it's confession diary, so I don't know why I'm set here giving advice, all right, next confession, hey girl, love you in the podcast, thank you, I love you too, so I've never told a single soul this, but as it's the last confession diaries, I feel it's
Starting point is 00:07:17 only right I send it in, because either, it will either make you laugh, cry, or bomb, oh my god, okay, during quarantine, me and my boyfriend had been wanting to experiment a bit more in the bedroom department we looked into getting different toys but they were just a tad too expensive for us at that point totally fair so we used to try to think of other things we could use in our next weekly shop in tesco where is this going oh god in the fruit and veg aisle a courgette caught my eye a courgette so i picked the packet up and turned to him i didn't need to say anything he knew exactly what i meant and told me to pop it in the trolley he's like yeah pop it in babe get that let's get him straight in my basket he used it on me later that night and it was quite successful okay girls there you go cheap
Starting point is 00:08:06 alternative to a dildo courgette when we got out of bed an hour or so later we saw oh my gosh you guys oh my fucking god you guys okay oh my fucking god right when we got out of bed an hour or so later we saw my dog in the corner of the room had eaten almost the whole fucking courgette we must have had the tv up so loud that we hadn't heard him chomping away at just a few meters from us i was horrified needless to say we haven't experimented since i was so embarrassed and felt so fucking guilty for my innocent unknowing dog i'm so sorry at how gross this is and hope the listeners don't judge me i promise my dog is very well looked after love you bye listen i'm not doubting that you look after your dog but what i am doubting is why you're throwing your, how do I put this nicely, juice-covered courgette on the floor, darling, and letting your dog in the room.
Starting point is 00:09:11 Is your dog in the room while you're having sex? While your boyfriend's fucking you with a courgette, your dog's in the room. Is that what you're telling me? Because that is also concerning behaviour for me. Listen, each to their own. Whatever you want to do in the bedroom, babe, as long as it's safe. What is concerning is the dog munching away oh god anyone else feel sick i know so many of you are actually screaming at the thought of this right now your poor dog i'm so sorry i'm so sorry i mean look you didn't know that was gonna happen that's not your fault but still fuck me thanks so
Starting point is 00:09:43 much for sharing that with me you haven't told a single soul and i've told all of the leo on the line listeners and her name is i'm gonna check it i would never do you like that okay next confession i love that one hey angel so i slept with a guy when i was 18 a few weeks after my cousin told me she had slept with him before i had oh no not sharing with your cousin and was joking about how small his penis was being so shocked by the situation and not wanting her to know we shagged the same person i just responded with was it really that small i can confirm it really was that small oh babes no i mean look you weren't to know you know like how how would you know that you and your cousin small world hey um did he know like did he know you were cousins surely he did um but yeah small
Starting point is 00:10:40 penis and shared it with your cousin oh god I mean i was gonna say at least at least it was after but she had sex in before you so it's i think personally i think that's worse for you babe don't don't you guys i mean you probably think the same i don't know i'm telling you that like you aren't already fucking away you're like yes thank you leah i i know i know thank you leah oh i mean it's not that bad certainly had sex with your cousin which a lot of fucking people do it's weird anyway next confession hey leah i hope you're doing well so when i was 17 i was sleeping with one of my friends and one time i'd gone over for a shag the word shag is used a lot in these confessions while his parents were out he had me bent over in his
Starting point is 00:11:25 living room and just as he was about to come he pulls out finished on my back and it started running down my ass crack okay this sounds like pretty normal so far this boy had to wipe my ass because i couldn't move about it going everywhere and it haunts me to this day love the podcast i always listen when i'm on my walks love you i love you too um I'm so sorry a grown man had to wipe your ass for you but listen I don't think that's that weird like if if that had happened to me I'd be like babes can you just wipe the cum off my ass oh my god I can't believe I'm saying shit like this this episode is vulgar all my confession episodes are vulgar to be honest but yeah I personally I don't think that's that mad it's not like he wiped your shitty ass do you know what I mean it's
Starting point is 00:12:11 plus things it's slimy do you know what I mean so it just slides right off um I'm gonna stop talking now because I sound like I'm coming from experience and I'm not I can confirm I have not been in that situation and I've never had my ass wiped by a man but anyway let's move on to a new confession hey Leah love you and your podcast I love you too a lad once sang a child's theme tune to me during sex okay here we go so I wish I was lying I was in my second year in uni and my housemate had decided to have a party with all of his football mates. Obviously this was not a problem with me at all. It was a really good night and somehow or another I ended up in my room with a lad named Rory. Okay, I'm not sure if you can see where this is going. Actually can't. Is there a TV show where there's a character
Starting point is 00:12:59 called Rory or something? When he introduced himself I drunkenly went, like the racing car. Oh okay, Rory the racing car, that must be be a program not sure if you can see where this is going skip to a few hours later we're in bed doing the deed and he full-on looks me in the eyes and goes rory the racing car rory the number one star in the same rhythm as the theme tune i could have died it was fair to say i got the ick immediately and neither of us finished okay I'm gonna have to quickly get this up and play the theme tune because I don't know what Rory the racing car is I'm people probably screaming at me like how the fuck do you not know that but I genuinely don't so let me look let me look this up and we're gonna play it so we can picture what she had to hear during sex okay I'm back with the song and I've just listened
Starting point is 00:13:43 to it and holy fucking shit so just imagine there's a bloke balls deep in this girl right he looks her in the eyes and this is what she hears from him are you okay uh no there's actually something wrong with you you're having sex and that's what you do that's what he did he's having sex no no no no i'm so sorry you had to experience that i'm so sorry i'm i can only apologize on his behalf because that behavior is bizarre there's something wrong with that boy oh my god i. I mean, neither of you finished. I'm not, I'm not bloody surprised, darling. If I'm being honest, that is scary. Like, why is that going from your head? Neither of you finished. Wow. What a sad time, but what a
Starting point is 00:14:36 fucking hilarious story. If anything, it was worth it for the story. Do you know what I mean? That is so funny. I love that. I mean, I hate it, but I love it. I'm so sorry you had to experience that, Jesus. Okay, next one. Me and my boyfriend had sex in the toilets at a fast food restaurant. Okay, shock. They're all happening at the fast food restaurants, aren't they? He worked there and was on shift at the time. We went in together and the store was empty, but by the time we came out, there was a line of customers all waiting to be served who all stared at us both when we shamefully walked out he said i was helping him change the toilet roll lol no regrets go get that dick love you leo you're smashing it babes i love you and thank you but what i want to know is how quick was it because if he comes out he's like sorry i was
Starting point is 00:15:19 just changing the toilet roll how quick i mean listen there's nothing wrong with a fucking quickie do you know what I mean sometimes that's all you need yeah um it's naughty and like it I want to know how old you were like is this a recent thing but yeah I mean I always say this when I read out confessions where you and your partner like just have public sex or just like get caught doing something naughty in public i just palmy loves it because i think oh my god you have so much sexual chemistry that you just cannot wait until you get home you just have to do it then and there and i think there's something sexy about it all right even if it isn't mackie's toilets or whatever fast food restaurant it was um quick thinking though from the bf oh sorry i should just have me change the toilet roll sorry everyone sorry about Sorry about that. Do you know what I mean? I like it. All right next confession. Met a guy on a night out a few years back and went back to his. Started doing the deed and his dad
Starting point is 00:16:14 started banging on the door and told him off for bringing me back and had to drive me home at like 3am. Most embarrassing moment ever. Worst part is I then started dating the guy so whenever i went round after and saw his dad i died a bit inside okay that was a bit dick heady from his dad would you do that i don't know to be fair if i had a son and he brought a girl around and it was 3am i'd probably be like uh excuse me what the fuck do you call this hey no not in my house darling do you mean i don't know but then to bang the door down and tell him off especially dads as well like surely dad's like go my son do you mean maybe they're not maybe he's a nice respectful man that's like we don't do one night stands okay not that i don't think there's anything wrong with one night stands i say all the time
Starting point is 00:17:04 not that i've had one either though that's the thing i just genuinely don't see the problem with it if you're having safe sex i really don't understand why people give a fuck if you actually know them or not as long as you're both single and it's safe you know there's no harm in it i didn't get it everyone just do what you want to do and fuck what everyone else thinks but have respect for people's parents always okay next confession hey leah this is honestly outrageous but thought you would love it anyway i'll set the scene i'm 14 and it's 2014 okay what easy way to remember your age or your life you just you are what year it is is that dumb like is that going to change one day i don't know i'm not very good at brain things. I have a couple of horses and my family and a few others.
Starting point is 00:17:46 Okay. Okay, queen. I have a couple of horses. And my family and a few others were out in one of the fields poo picking with a tractor and a trailer type thing on the back to shovel shit into as the field is up quite a hill. A little while goes by and one of the ladies offers if I want to drive the tractor a little forwards to the next shit pile. So I hop onto the tractor and said lady, approximately 65 years old at the time, is standing to my right showing me how to use the clutch etc. as obviously I've never driven as I am 14. Just an FYI this is legal as it's private land. Okay babe.
Starting point is 00:18:20 She's just about to tell me that if I let the clutch come up too fast the tractor will jolt forwards. Which it does the lady's foot gets caught under the wheel and i panic as i have no idea how to stop this thing so the tractor and the trailer full of horse shit drags her underneath it all hold on did you kill this woman this is not the this is not what the confession diaries is okay and then rolls backwards basically back over her again is this woman alive just to clarify she is totally fine just almost died but we do move oh my fucking god you ran over a 65 year old woman with your tractor twice oh my god she got airlifted okay this is this is next level extreme normally it's like oh i shit myself at my boyfriend's house.
Starting point is 00:19:05 You actually almost killed an old woman. Okay, she's not old. 65 is not old. But you know what I mean. To 14 year olds, that is. Anyway, just clarify she's fine. She got airlifted to hospital and I was interviewed by police. Oh my God.
Starting point is 00:19:19 Am I going to have to give a statement for reading this out? But as it was private land and it wasn't intentional and she didn't want to press charges i saved myself spending time behind bars oops oh my fucking god still to this day i get a tractor card that makes tractor sounds and a tractor key ring each year for my birthday yes this sounds honestly insane and yes i do have ptsd from it but makes a funny icebreaker occasionally xo okay well you almost murdered a 65 year old woman okay we've gone from like oh my boyfriend had to wipe the cum off my arsehole to i almost killed a 65 year old woman and always went to prison for manslaughter no you didn't you'd had to have
Starting point is 00:19:59 killed her to go for manslaughter wouldn't you um okay well i'm very relieved that this woman is okay and she's fine um oh my god she's in her 70s now i bet poor woman i bet she's got bloody ptsd you got ptsd she's never fucking going near a tractor again she's been underneath it twice christ i actually love her confession though it's a brilliant one it's very unique for the lear on the line confession diaries thank you for sending it in all right let's move on to some more i've made multiple accounts to view my boyfriend's ex's stories on insta i can't help myself oh my god stop it's such an addiction i know people that do this and i know it gets addictive i'm actually very good at like not looking at people's stories and like when when I'm in a situation where like
Starting point is 00:20:46 say it's like a breakup or like my new boyfriend's ex or something like I'm so good at just not looking into it and so good at like not giving it attention so honestly I that must be so exhausting and draining I feel like it's an addiction you've made multiple accounts as well I think you should tell yourself you're gonna stop do you know when i'm doing something that i shouldn't do like once i went on this website called tattle right which is like a basically a fucking hate forum where nasty people write nasty nasty things and i read i searched my name on it and i was like literally on the floor crying because of what i was reading about myself and it was just not true and it was making me so upset and it literally gave me the worst anxiety for days I was like I'm quitting YouTube I'm never going on social media again like I'm never showing my face I'm
Starting point is 00:21:33 private in my Instagram like these people are wrong about me people are fucking mean um and I obviously got over it but I I swore on my mum's life I literally said it out loud I swore on my mum's life I am never said it out loud. I swore on my mum's life. I am never looking my fucking name up on that website again. And I didn't. So if you're ever doing something where you know the damage is the, wait, the behavior is damaging, say something like that out loud and you will have no choice but to get out of the habit. Trust me. It's a really good way to combat something. Okay. I threw up my whole lunch in brackets pizza when giving a blow job. I cried from embarrassment. Oh my God. How many of you have been sick on a dick before? I've done the burp sick on a dick once. I don't think he noticed. I just got a bit too fucking ahead of myself. I thought I was better
Starting point is 00:22:15 ahead than I was. Um, and I was like, Whoa, Whoa. Do you know what I mean? And I know, I know most girls that I've asked have said, yeah, I've done a sick burp on a dick so admit it you're like no Leah just you babe I lost my butt plug whilst using it and then my boyfriend needed to pull it out of my ass okay butt plugs right okay well at least he pulled it out mortifying to say the least but if it's your boyfriend i feel like sex isn't embarrassing do you know what i mean when you're in a relationship and it definitely should not be embarrassing you should be so comfortable when you're having sex that is so fucking important you should be able to be yourself and say when you're uncomfortable and say when you're you know
Starting point is 00:22:58 like if something embarrassing happens to you some people find like a little queef embarrassing you should be in a position where if you queef it's either didn't even fucking give it any attention it's a queef babe get over it or you can have a little giggle about it do you know what i mean so if you got your butt block stuck up your ass at least your boyfriend's in the position where he's like right bend over babes i'll get out do you know what i mean spread them open spread the cheeks i'm fishing it out do you know what i'm saying lovely boy all right next confession i slept with the md of the company on a work night out first time i met him found out he has a wife and a baby two months after the night out oh and he's friends with my dad i was blackout drunk wrong on so many levels i don't work there anymore but it's
Starting point is 00:23:40 a story i mean you didn't know so the fucking guy is the problem here. His poor wife and baby. Did she ever find out? I'd love to know. Okay. I'm secretly flirting with my boyfriend's friend and I love it. Babes. Imagine that she was on the other foot. Yeah. This is horrid. Why? Why? Do you fancy him? Oh my God. I have the confessions this week i let my boyfriend piss on my mouth for the shits and gigs okay i'm just zooming into your picture and you're absolutely gorgeous can i just say but also what is the shits and gigs about pissing in someone's mouth like was that a horny thing or you like you like, should I just piss in your mouth? And he's like, yeah, go on.
Starting point is 00:24:28 Like, was that a piss in my mouth, you little slut? Or was it like, should we just piss in each other's mouths? Interesting. I'd quite like to hear more of that story. I can't lie. If you have any more confessions, by the way, guys, I'm going to read a couple out every week. So keep sending them in.
Starting point is 00:24:44 The confessions form is going to stay on my page, on my website and on my Instagram. So the confessions are always welcome to be sent in. And if there's more to the story that I've only read out a little bit, send them more of the story because I love reading out the long ones. Okay. I ended things with my ex a few weeks ago and woke up in bed with him on Sunday. Oops, I ended things with my ex a few weeks ago and woke up in bed with him on Sunday. Oops. Babes, it happens. It happens to all of us and no one is judging you for it. None of us listeners, none of us who are on the line, galleys and boys, none of us is judging you. Okay. I think I'm falling for a girl. I've only ever been in relationships with guys. Oh my God, how exciting. I want to know, like, is it your friend? Is it just someone that you like
Starting point is 00:25:25 work with? Maybe? Is it like someone on socials and you're like, oh, fucking fancier. I mean, again, I need an update. Like, tell the girl, tell the girl how you feel, baby. I want to know. Okay. I slept with a guy that owns the company I worked for yesterday. I feel like a lot of people sleep with their boss. Is that a thing? Have I i ever slept with the boss i've never slept with a boss but i have slept with the um what was he producer of a show that i did and it was it was not allowed um but anyway i slept with a guy that owns oh i just read that i steal from shops all the time oh my god do you know i'm actually such a little pussy right like i will not do anything even when i was a god do you know i'm actually such a little pussy right like i will not do anything even when i was a kid and you know people like nick chewing gum from shops
Starting point is 00:26:09 and stuff i just could not do it like i was always such a little scaredy cat when i was a kid and i never get yeah i was in claire's when i was a teenager i was in primary school so i was in year six actually i was in year six my friend had just moved from spain and she moved in primary school so I was in year six actually I was in year six my friend had just moved from Spain and she moved in year six so that's why I know it's in year six right and we was in Claire's accessories shout out to you didn't you hate all the people that worked at Claire's because every time I stepped foot in there they used to just follow me around like I was going to steal something and I'm not a stealer okay but anyway this kind of contradicts what I was going to say because basically my friend stole um so we got halfway up the street and she was like guys guys look what i got and she like pulled
Starting point is 00:26:50 out these little earrings and i was like oh my god did you steal them and she was like yeah like she was proper like feeling all cheeky and all proud of herself next thing we know she had a little tap on the shoulder police the actual police were behind us police yeah she got taken bearing in mind she's about how old are you in year six ten eleven you're eleven isn't it yeah she got put in a police car they put her in the police car this 11 year old girl and they drove her home right i'm not being funny i'll never get that image out my head of her sat in the back seat crying waving us goodbye and i felt so helpless but then in my head i thought why did she do that why did she actually just steal but anyway that was so traumatic for me maybe that's why i never
Starting point is 00:27:36 stole anything um i want to leave my relationship to experience new things but scared to leave my person oh no I mean look if they are your somebody help me I'm being choked oh my goodness if they are your person they will be there for you at the right time in your life if you need to go and experience new things your person will be there at the right time that's what I'm going to say on the matter okay next one I I perioded on my boy on my boyfriend's white sheets okay I'm just gonna use the word bled um I bled on my boyfriend's white sheets and played it off as makeup lol love you by the way why though why can you just say oh I just got fucking blood everywhere babe sorry about that like why did a guy surely he's not funny about that and surely he know like what did you have that much red lippy on i mean sorry i was just rubbing my face on the sheet in my sleep do you know what i mean i don't know how much was it to be fair if
Starting point is 00:28:36 it was only like a little smudge then yeah i understand you'd get away with it being makeup yeah to be fair that's probably what it was you probably was like sat on the bed and a little bit just like soaked through and then it was like a little smudge and you were like oh fuck and you're like oh i just sorry i just spilt my fucking blusher or spilt my lipstick yeah to be fair that's fair enough that's fair enough i slept with this boy then he got a girlfriend a few months later i slept with this twin i mean that must be so shit for twins like if you had an identical twin i wonder how many people sleep with both twins surely you don't do that to each other surely that's cruel let me know
Starting point is 00:29:10 any identical twins out there so we found my mom's an identical twin i can ask her um i did a shit in the sea and i didn't realize my sister was snorkeling next to me oh dear i mean it's not ideal shitting in the sea all right i'd like to know why people are shitting in the sea um and your sister had her head under the water that you know she's snorkeling that could not have been much worse i mean it could have been worse could have been a stranger but to be fair if it was your sister she'd probably come up from the water was like oh why have you shit in the sea in front of everyone do you know what i mean whereas a stranger probably would have been like oh my god and just like left and you could have got away with it secretly and only you and that person would ever know that you just took a shit in that
Starting point is 00:29:57 fucking face man anyway that is it for the confessions guys how was it how do you feel it's the end of an era the end of the confession diaries 10 episodes 10 weeks is pretty strong i feel like whatever i do on fridays maybe i should do like 10 weeks and then switch it up again 10 weeks but obviously tuesdays will stay the same because that is leah on the line that is what leah on the line is join me so yeah again let me know your ideas i need them I want them I'm praying for them because I really don't know um and yeah I don't know if I mentioned this but next time I talk to you actually I may do a bonus episode I want to do a bonus episode on Sunday where I do um a never have I ever I put
Starting point is 00:30:37 a poll up on my story and said what do you guys want and you guys all voted for never have I ever with voice notes so I think I want to do that on Sunday but if I don't then the next time I speak to you I will be 25 years of age nobody fucking talked to me about it right no I'm very happy I'm very lucky to see 25 years of beautiful healthy happy life touch wood to many more and for all of you as well and yeah thanks so much for all of your love I'm so close to 100k on TikTok so if you you're not following me there, you really fucking should. Oh my God, Leah, stop plugging yourself at the end of every episode. It's fucking annoying and beggy and so irritating. All right.
Starting point is 00:31:12 No, I'm sorry. I love you guys so much. I hope you have the best weekend. Have loads of fun. If you're going out tonight, if you're going out tomorrow night, have a little pre-drink on me. And yeah, have the best time. Stay safe.
Starting point is 00:31:24 Be good. And I will speak to you in a few days all right i love you

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