Leah on the Line - Confession Diaries 4: My mum caught me having sex on the driveway!

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

Hi gorgeous! OMGGGG the confessions this week are next level. I absolutely love the chaos you guys have been causing and I love even more being able to read them out to you all. Keep it up. ;) Thank you so much for every single listener of Leah on the Line, you mean the absolute WORLD to me. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to [e-mail]. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

hello hi everyone happy friday happy friday guys welcome back to a brand new episode um episode. I can't lie, okay? It's 11.30pm on a Thursday night. This needs to be live in 32 minutes, actually. Well, it's 11.28. I wasn't very specific. We might be up a bit late, but I refuse to miss the app, okay? I'm giving it my best shot. How are you just i was just catching up on love island it was the casserole recoupling holy shit balls what a fucking drama hey jack's picking fucking page sorry a spoiler alert anybody that hasn't caught up yet jack's picked page after he cracked on with cheyenne is it cheyenne her name i can't remember absolutely gorgeous girl though she looks so stunning especially at the recoupling of her sexy red lip but oh god do i feel bad for her but i sort of wish that i can't remember the boy's name who eckin she like touches willie in bed and then she went mad at davide honestly i have to tell you davide and eckin have a have such a special place in my heart i

really feel like their connection is just so real i really just feel like even when they try to deny it and they try to fight it it's just that the sparks are just flying between the two of them and i just love them but i sort of wish that when laura was like how how was your time during casso more and then obviously the girls were like you know i'm shocked blah blah wish, I think his name is Jay. I don't want to say that in case it's wrong. But basically, I wish he was like, yeah, you know, you know, I did crack on with Ekian in bed one night. But whatever. I wish it came out.

But do you know what, everybody? It's coming out at the movie night. And you best believe I'm getting a bag of popcorn for that. It's going to be incredible. But, oh, God, yeah, Jackson Page. What a nightmare, hey? believe I'm getting a bag of popcorn for that it's gonna be incredible but oh god yeah Jackson Page what a nightmare hey what a nightmare but I sort of saw that coming to be honest I knew he was just gonna play him you know play the field and then do you know what it reminded me of you know those blokes that go out on a night out cheat on their cheat on their girlfriend go and like get

with girls or have sex and then come home and get in bed with their missus and like they just don't actually have that thing in them that feels guilty and feels disgusting i get that vibe and the fact that jemma isn't shocked is is another major red flag for me but anyway enough love island chat welcome back how are you it's friday you're going out this weekend. I don't have plans to go out this weekend, but I probably will. I can't lie. But it's my nephew's birthday party on Saturday and it's sunny. And he's having like a water fight. He's five, by the way. Wait, yeah, he is five. He's having like a water fight thing, which sounds right up my street. I went to the beach tonight it was so nice i'm gonna put

some pics on instagram so um if you don't follow me on insta maybe you could i would quite like it if you did but anyway it's confessions day these are my confessions i'm excited i absolutely love this every every week you guys do not disappoint i said said to you last month, I said, do me a favor, get up to no good this weekend or this week, whenever it was, because I need some good confessions ready for Friday. And I'm so proud, if you will, for going out and causing some real fucking chaos because we've got some fantastic content here, ladies and gents. So let's get stuck in with the confessions. I'm going to start with some follow-ups. So you guys remember the girl that got caught by the police having sex in her car and we had some questions, you know, I was like, this isn't Willie and you, like whatever. She's got a little bit more deets, a little bit, wait, what's the correct English?

Some more deets. Well, I know it's What's the correct English? Some more deets. Well, I know the details, but you know what I mean. Anyway, I'm just going to shut the fuck up. Confession follow-up. Mine was getting caught by the police having sex in my boyfriend's car. Yes, they came over. They pulled up with their full beam on. We freaked out and pulled our clothes back on.

Luckily, we were quick, so they didn't see anything, but the car was steamy, and it was so obvious what was going on. My boyfriend had to give his license to the woman for them to check his details. I just looked out of the window. I was so embarrassed. She even said, don't you have a house to go to? She knew exactly what was going on there, and the fact that the car was steamy, I mean, it sounds fucking sexy. I can't lie sounds hot um another update remember remember the last girl who was having sex with her best friend's dad we've got some more details okay listen to this it kind of gets worse actually she says um in response to the confession i put in the other day

i'm the one who fucked my best friend's dad because she slagged me off we're still friends the wife doesn't know and neither does my best friend. Me and her dad have slept together six times since. She slagged me off to her other friends and my now ex. Why is he my ex? Because she shagged him. So revenge is sweet. Also, love the podcast.

Feel free to use this message as an update on the pod. Love you. I mean, you are one crazy, crazy girl. I do update on the pod love you i mean you are one crazy crazy girl i i do love you i love you too especially because you're providing fantastic content for the pods and leah on the line is is nothing without you but i you know why are you guys friends that is my question how what is your friendship based off right now she shagged your ex and you shagged the dad so i'm not sure on what grounds you are classing this as you know you literally call her your bff like oh i'm just a bit baffled by that one darling but you know thanks so much for the update if anybody else has any other updates send them my way we all love to hear it hope you guys enjoyed okay

let's get into some fresh content some fresh confessions these are my confessions okay we get it we get it you can sing um i've been sleeping with my ex and none of my friends know p.s i still love him help i mean i've done it we've all done it. The fact that you still love him, I feel like you probably wouldn't be sleeping with him if you didn't. Do you know what I mean? Sounds dangerous, girl. Sounds pretty dangerous. But if you don't want to get back with him, sounds dangerous. If you do, fuck it. Do you know what I mean? This is a great one. I I got a vibrator stuck up my vagina. Interesting. Would definitely, definitely need more details. Like, what do you mean stuck? Like, I always think of this, when people say they get things stuck up their vagina, I'm like, what do you mean? Like,

I'm, okay, picture a vibrator. Okay, I instantly picture a rampant rabbit, which means like, that's not going all the way up because you've got the little bunny ears so it's definitely not rampant rabbit so it must just be like your standard penis shaped vibrator how's it gone all the way in first of all where you've lost it you've let go of it and then also how are you how's it not coming back out what do you mean stuck why is it that dry are we suffering from some vaginal dryness because luber up hun that's what i say i would honestly really appreciate some more details to that one i just don't and i just never get when people say oh i've got something stuck up my my purse i'm like what how oh maybe i've just got a massive vagina just kidding I don't does that make everyone really uncomfortable made me really uncomfortable okay I slept with my next door neighbor not knowing he

had a girlfriend I mean you didn't know you didn't know so I have no I hold nothing against you for that um but this is from the same person I gave one of my boy mates a blow job after his brother ghosted me so i mean babes fuck it do you know what i mean does does his brother know that you gave him a blow a blow um at 16 i pissed on my ex's bedroom floor and blamed it on his dog and he believed it. For context, he had no toilet upstairs in his house and I was drunk. What is it with the pissing on the floor thing? It's starting to become a regular occurrence on the confession diaries. But I definitely had another one about weeing on the floor. So we will find that one later but i think i can remember

that one being there um i agreed to be friends of benefits with my ex wish me luck ha ha ha listen all i say is r.i.p to you darling you cannot be friends of benefits with your ex because first of all we ain't friends okay we were in love with each other at one point daniel all right so we're not going to be friends and benefits we're going to be exes that are fucking okay good luck everybody wish her luck r.i.p to you bestie um after a night out me and my boyfriend went to the beach to have sex i had a tampon in so i just threw it away in the dark. Okay. To this day, I've always wondered if someone ever came across it the next day. Sorry, I know that's gross. Love you. Bye. Okay, darling.

That's an interesting confession. You just tossed it, just pulled her out and tossed it. Okay. Okay. I mean, it was after a night out so you were drunk which i totally get but i bet it was like a nice elderly man that just like spends his sunday mornings cleaning up the beach and he comes across your fucking dirty tampon you slag i'm joking i mean i love it it was your boyfriend or i don't love it i I don't. First of all, I'm very against littering. So that's one problem. But I love that he was your boyfriend and you were on a night out and you're like, let's go to the beach and fuck. Then you're like, hold on, I have a tampon. And hey, at least you remembered that you have one. And I know people that have

forgotten and they have sex with a tampon. And I was talking about this with someone the other day. How did, how do you do that? How does that happen? How do you have a tampon in. I was talking about this with someone the other day. How do you do that? How does that happen? How do you have a tampon in your purse, right? And then somebody puts their willy in and neither of you have clocked. Neither of you are going, oh, a bit dry up in here, you know? Like how does this happen? And I know it's a pretty regular occurrence that people have sex with tampons in. Anyway, really interesting to me. Yeah, I would love to know if somebody ever found your dirty tampon, you dirty bitch. Okay. Did bits with a girl on holiday and had to tell my boyfriend back home the next morning. It's always been something I was curious about and I got carried away in the moment. How your boyfriend react because I know for a fact

from personal experience not not that I've ever cheated on a boy ever let alone like with a girl but I just mean like from conversations with boys for some reason boys have this weird fucking thing where if you if you like had sex with a girl they don't they don't class that as cheating I'm like that is 100% we're absolutely positively cheating do you know what i mean and a lot of people like even girls will disagree with me but i still think it's cheating i i don't care who you're having sex with i think you're cheating like if my boyfriend goes out and sleeps with a guy you're cheating on me i don't care if it's a girl or a guy you're cheating on me darling but for some reason guys have this thing because they find it hot. Oh, fucking hell.

Because they find it hot, they're like, nah, won't bother me. I'll actually find it quite fucking sexy. Oh, put your dick away. I've just cheated on you. No, honestly, I find that really interesting. But, you know, I'm glad you got to experiment it. You said you've always been curious.

So I'm happy for you. I'm just not so happy for your relationship i was talking to a boy and slept with two other people during hey i don't think that's that bad oh i don't think that's that bad you were just talking to the boy were you exclusive we've all done it haven't we were you chatting to someone then you're also chatting to someone else and you get carried away and if we night getting around your fucking ex's house i'm sex with him well joking um i can't stand my mom's boyfriend lol um i'm trying to think if i've ever been with someone where i don't like their mom and i really haven't i liked all my ex all my exes both of my ex's moms i absolutely loved my most recent ex's mum um i couldn't imagine not liking

your ex's mum that's absolutely insane to me but i mean i what i mean is why am i getting all panicky like i've just really offended somebody that's not what i meant no but seriously i know about the mums that are like obsessed and in love with their sons they exist they're fucking strange women no honestly they exist they're like in love and they get really like jealous because like you know they they like grow up but really baby in their son and like do all their washing and cook for them and like run them baths oh my god oh my god and like just really look after them and really baby them and then you come along and then they're really jealous that you have to like fill that role i will not be filling that role darling you can still do as fucking washing no no you can't because i'm not being with a boy whose mom does

his washing no but honestly those moms exist so if she's anything like that i don't blame her um a girl i work with her dad also works with us I'm sleeping with him and no one knows. Oh my God, that's amazing. I just think that's sick. That's quite a fun situation. Let me know how that goes for you. In year four, I threw a girl's shoe in the toilet. Okay, that's fucking horrible. That's actually really horrible. And I really don't support that. I know you was in year four. How old are you in year four um so you're like 11 in year seven oh fuck me I'm not doing that I'm not doing maths right now but yeah you were very young so that's okay but horrible horrible horrible horrible I hope you're not horrible anymore I'm joking you're you're a leer on the line listener you're all nice people there's no chance that you're a horrible person.

Why am I acting like what you did in year four actually matters about who you are today? Shut up, Lear. When I watch Fifty Shades of Grey, I fast forward for the sex scenes. Now, I know who sent this in and I know she's a dirty, filthy slut. No, I'm just kidding. Do you know I have a confession myself? I've never seen Fifty Shades of Grey but I feel like I should I feel like me confessing I've never seen it is probably way worse than you confessing you just fast forward to the sex scenes I will watch it and I'll I'll let you guys know how how I feel and if I enjoy it or not but I mean great confession

love it horny horny babes my mum caught me having sex with a boy i just met from tinder on our driveway okay you were that close to the house that is what i don't that is what i cannot get my head around you're on the driveway you're that close got that close were you locked out did you not have a key um the driveway is your driveway like like a concrete slab have you got like pebbles oh interesting again i'm gonna need more like why were you on the driveway why were you could you not like go around the back and the back garden how did she respond oh god okay when i worked in cavos i slept with a guy and the next night he was out with his girlfriend to oh shit turns out she had food poisoning the night before so wasn't out i felt terrible i didn't say anything because i was only 18 but now looking back I wish I had really hope she isn't still with him now oh I mean you didn't have a fucking clue so like you have nothing to feel

guilty about at all um and you said you looking back you wish you told you wish you told her um I mean also I really understand why people don't. But, like, can we just make an agreement as women that if you ever have sex with somebody or even do bits of anybody or even messaging somebody and then you find out that he has a girlfriend, that we are going to deliver that information. Can we make an agreement from this day forward as adults? Obviously, you're 18, so it's totally fine. It's not fine, but, but like it's not the same basically um but can we make an agreement that now that's how we're gonna act we're gonna go to the women and say listen i'm so sorry but your boyfriend's been sending me fire emojis daily if a girl messaged you that would you be like i literally don't care they're fucking fire emojis

fuck off or would you be like okay thank you i really fucking appreciate you telling me that because i saw something on tiktok the other day where she got sent a message from a girl that's like your boyfriend sends me fire emojis babe like just so you know like he's mugging you off and she was like they're literally fucking fire emojis like why are you acting like he's mugging you off and she was like they're literally fucking fire emojis like why you're acting like he's cheating on me like fuck off and i was like whoa like if a guy was sending me fire emojis to my instagram every single day and i knew he had a girlfriend all i'd be thinking is poor girl he he is a mugging her off he is taking her for a mug that's like a statement saying you're a prick like honestly i really do genuinely consider that to be cheating is that pathetic nah nah ain't pathetic and i would tell the girl i would deliver that information so yeah can we all make

an agreement on that one um my boyfriend asked for help on his word or every day i googled i googled the answer and he thinks i'm a word or genius and i let him believe it I think that on its own makes you a genius like I love it I think that's brilliant I can't lie I really I really enjoy that okay let's move over to emails okay once me and my best friend took our ex-boyfriends back to my house for a cheeky shag turns out my mum was asleep in my bed why was she sleeping in your bed so we had to go in hers okay if she has a bed why is she sleeping yours we all had sex in my mum's bed next to each other our legs were touching lol whoops that's there's so many things i found i find odd about that like why is your mum sleeping in your bed why are all four of you going home to

have sex together but not actually having sex with each other um and why would you want to have sex in your mom's bed i mean yeah whatever i love it next next confession okay she says sorry for the tmi um i should probably start a warning at the start of every episode saying do not listen to this in public or shut your bedroom windows if I'm on a speaker. Hello everyone. Hi neighbours. How big's your dick? All right. I was once sleeping with this boy. He was behind me giving me oral sex when I suddenly really really loudly queefed in his face so bad that he actually whipped his head backwards in shock oh my god I was so embarrassed that I started to hysterically cry my eyes out so he spent the next 15 minutes laying in bed comforting

me trying to stop me from crying safe to say it ruined the moment oh my god that's actually really good um i can't lie that's happened to me but i didn't hysterically cry i was just like i've just queefed in your face um i mean i feel sad for you that it actually really hurt you and upset not hurt you it really upset you but i've hurt him jesus he if he whipped his head back give himself fucking whiplash christ if somebody whipped their head back i think i'd probably um just have to pass away like i i would just politely just die in that moment i'd be like no no that is horrendous i mean yeah we've all queefed come on we're all queefers um hi my confession is i have a man on snapchat that is my long distance submissive

i degrade him and call him useless and pathetic and he sends me humiliating videos of himself doing things like effing a dildo or deep throwing a cucumber he buys me things in return which is nice only catch is my husband doesn't know fuck my oh my god hun i fucking love it can you come through some more like secrets about this one tell me more i actually really enjoy this you so you have a man on snapchat and you call him useless and pathetic and he sends you videos of him fucking cucumbers um and buys you nice things sounds like a fucking win to me where can i find myself one of these boys um i slept with this guy after ascot races and faked the whole 20 minutes because i wanted to make him feel good he had the smallest dick ever and i told him i've never felt anything so deep

i was so drunk and taking the piss but i felt but i think he left feeling so confident so oh my god no the fact you're saying i've never felt anything so deep like the thing is if you've got a like you said he had the smallest dick ever if you've got a really small dick you know you've got a small dick like he knows he knows his willy's not big so you you going oh my god i've never felt anything this deep in my life he knows you're chatting shit hun i mean what was in that for you just out of curiosity like you said you went back with him to to make him feel good were you just like doing it because you were just feeling kind just being selfless um i mean whatever girl next one i was in 69 and fell asleep while sucking this guy's dick i've also fallen asleep in doggy on that note.

Oh my god. Wow. His head game must not be great if you're falling asleep. You've fallen asleep sucking dick and you've fallen asleep in doggy. Christ, we need to get some caffeine in you girl. Blimey. It's not that serious but just thought it'd be funny for the pod. But this happened to me last night. Me and my boyfriend started doing bits and we had the Big Bang Theory on in the background. And I said, oh, I love this bit. Well, he was doing stuff to me. He literally got up so fast and went, you've killed the mood. I was fuming and we went to bed without any action. And we went to bed without any action. I can't lie to you, hon. I don't blame him.

You're literally, so he's doing, you've put stuff to you. And you've gone, oh, I love this bit. Watching the Big Bang Theory. No, if that happened to me again, the mood's gone for me there, babe. Jesus. Next one. Oh, my God. This is the piss pissing story this is the drunk we and yourself thing right this is the last one as well so I just keep you waiting um um heard the last episode where you were talking about pissing yourself when drunk and have I got a story for you when I was 18 I had my first ever one night stand. Oh Jesus, having a one night stand

and pissing yourself drunk does not sound like a good confession already. We met in the club and we got a taxi back to his. Business went down and then we both fell asleep. I woke up around 6am absolutely dying for the toilet. I go to the door, The door will not open. I try turning the lock, look for a key. Nothing will open this fucking door. I was still drunk at this point and my memory goes a bit blurry and I'm unsure of what thoughts led to my next actions. Next thing I know, listen to this. Next thing I know, I am inside this guy's wardrobe with the doors closed and I had pissed all over the bottom of the wardrobe. Okay, I climbed out and was like, shit, I need to leave. Got back into bed with the guy and was like, hey, sorry, I need to leave right now.

And I blamed that my mum was expecting me to come home sorry I need to leave right now um and I blamed that my mum was expecting me to come home and I needed to leave managed to run out of his house and had to pay 50 pound for the taxi home jeez we didn't have each other on any social media so thankfully I never heard if you figured out it was me I know he had been out with his friend that night so just always prayed he thought one of them had done it at least the sex was good i mean i am so relieved that you had a good time um and you said the sex was good because that sounds like hell like i imagine the anxiety the next day realizing you've just pissed in a boy's wardrobe jesus like the thing is when i drink i wake up the next day and I just have no memory of anything and then it will hit me then so what would happen to me is I'd be like oh god I'm I'm hanging I am so hungover I pissed in a

boy's wardrobe I pissed in a boy's wardrobe last night and I would have flashbacks and the anxiety would hit me like a train it's the fact that you were like trying to desperately open this door and then just the next thing you knew you were squatting in a wardrobe wow was only clothes there i bet i bet it stunk of piss because the thing is alcohol piss stinks done it it does smell like strong wee jesus wow that we had some fucking incredible dilemmas i mean confessions this week didn't we i feel like this was probably the craziest confessions yet what do you guys think make sure you're sending them in ready for next week make sure if you've got any more updates info more deets more confessions send them to me we we love to hear the the updates and further details we love it on lear on the line don't be babes but yeah love you guys

so much i hope you enjoyed this episode um how do you feel about me doing two a week is it too much is it too much or is it is it amazing is it heaven ew leah shut the fuck up is it good is it fun or is it just like jesus leah can you stop uploading because i'm fucking getting behind now i can't fucking keep up what do you think wait where your head at, where's your head at with that, can I pull you for a chat, anyway, I am gonna go to bed now, because this is late already, it's past midnight, and never mind, but yeah, I love you guys so much, thanks for all your support, thank you for always sending in dilemmas and confessions and just sending me love and support.

I've already said that word. Because honestly, Lear on the Line is nothing without you. The Confession Diaries doesn't exist without you. There's no confessions about you. The Tuesday Dilemma episodes, they're nothing without you. We're nothing without each other.

I mean, you definitely don't need me, I need you so yeah just want to always let you know that you're always appreciated and loved um and the bestest friends like I ever did have you're the bestest friends I ever did have all right I'm gonna go I'm gonna go to bed hope you guys have the best day I don't want to say I'm gonna go to to bed. Hope you guys have the best day. I don't want to say I'm going to go to bed in case that you're like listening to this first thing in the morning and it's not motivating you. So let's have the best weekend, baby. Let's hit the club or let's have a pamper night or let's get these hours done. Let's get, let's get these shifts done, babes. Let's make some money or let's have a nice weekend off let's do nothing all weekend or let's

go on a nice dog walk whatever you've got planned to let me know and i will speak to you in a couple of days on tuesday i know no i'll speak to you on sunday hon speak to you on sunday don't worry about it i've got a really fun episode i'm doing the um he's a 10 but dot dot dot thing fucking brilliant i don't know fucking brilliant idea or what somebody gave me that idea shout out to you all right love you guys so much and i will see you on sunday have the best weekend love you you maybe I adore you yeah I adore you yeah I adore you