Leah on the Line - Confession Diaries 7: I get turned on by my boyfriend cheating on me

Episode Date: July 28, 2022

Hello honeys! Boyyyy have you guys been up to no good recently... I LOVE IT. Honestly, keep these confessions coming I absolutely love them and can't get enough of these stories. Thank you so much for... all of your love and support, it means the absolute world to me. As always send in your confessions/dilemmas to leahontheline@gmail.com. Love you! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 hello hi everyone hi hello welcome back to a brand new episode of leah on the line happy friday what's your plans this weekend i don't really have much planned. My brother's playing football on Saturday and I'll be watching that. Doesn't that sound thrilling? Doesn't that sound thrilling for me? No, I actually don't mind watching my brother play football, you know? It's like that sound, you know, Leticia when she's like, before we start, let's just address the elephant in the room. Does anyone fancy me? Do you know what I mean? I used to think that when I was little and I'd go to my brother's football game so I'm like you will fancy me you won't want a piece of me but um realistically none of them ever hit on me and none of them ever made it apparent that they fancied me
Starting point is 00:00:57 sometimes I just think people fancy me and then I I question what behavior is making me believe that and it is usually nothing um maybe I'm a narcissist I'm actually not a narcissist I would hate to I would hate for anybody to think I am a narcissist fuck narcissists that's what I say anyway what's your plans this weekend you going out you're staying in are you going around your friend's house? Are you hanging out with your mum? Are you visiting your sister? Are you on mum duties? Are you, oh god, to the mums out there, kids are on school holidays, RIP to you, basically. And dads. I don't know if many men listen to this podcast, but I know there's definitely some. I just don't know if fathers will be listening to me. I can't imagine I'm the kind of voice you'd want to listen to out of choice, unpaid. It's essentially a form of torture to a lot of men, my voice. But one lucky man is going to hear it for the rest of
Starting point is 00:01:59 his life. That's all I say. Do you know what I mean? Do you guys think I've got an annoying voice? life, that's all I say, do you know what I mean? Do you guys think I've got an annoying voice? I feel like it's quite irritating, because I just particularly, I mean, I don't particularly have an accent, but then a lot of people do say to me, like, are you from Bristol, my love? You're from Bristol, my love? And I'm like, no, I'm actually not from Bristol at all. Well, I'm from like an hour away from Bristol, so it's not too far, but from Somerset, anybody that doesn't know that, I live in Somerset currently. Should I just fill you in on where I'm at in my personal life I'm thinking of moving um to Manchester when I say thinking of like it's actually just an idea at this point um because obviously if you didn't know I lived in London for the last year and a half and I thought
Starting point is 00:02:42 that like London was my place and like I really had this opinion towards London that it was just like my place my city I love it I'm a city girl but when I actually like thought about it I was like what is it about London that I'm willing to pay all this fucking money for do you know what I mean London's an expansive city to live in it's it's fucking expensive right and I'd be renting a loan obviously because I do not live with a partner partner why did I go like I don't know what accent that was I don't live with a partner so it's just like I'd be living alone therefore paying a loan which not my favorite not my favorite idea but it is what it is I'm excited to be an independent queen though I will say that but like you should be paying like 900 pound a month for an average place
Starting point is 00:03:31 in an average area or you can move to a beautiful fun amazing city like Manchester and pay way less for a way nicer place and also I actually know a lot of people in Manchester and when I sort of deeped it I was like I actually know that many people in London like considering I've lived there all these years I still consider myself very lonely in that city like I only the only friends I have are like friends that I've worked with in bars so it's like I'm not going to be working in those same bars because I'd be moving to a different area so I'm just like what is it about London that I'm I want to go back for because it's not like I go to bloody West End every week go shopping on Oxford Street every Saturday I don't actually use London I just stay in my area so why do I want to pay all that money to be in just another area
Starting point is 00:04:14 because it's not like it's not like the line of work that I I do because obviously I do social media at the moment but apart from that like when I'm not living at home I work in bars to get me through do you know what I mean to pay rent and stuff so I'm not living at home I work in bars to get me through do you know what I mean to pay rent and stuff so I'm like I don't need to be in London it's not like I've got this like amazing corporate job that I need to be in like a big London office like I literally just work in a fucking bar I can work in any bar and live anywhere so what do you guys think about that I think I want to move to London I mean Manchester who wants to move to Manchester with me because I'm looking for a flatmate I'd actually love to live with a girl
Starting point is 00:04:44 like that's what I want to do just live like me? Because I'm looking for a flatmate. I'd actually love to live with a girl. Like, that's what I want to do. Just live, like, me and a girl my age, similar interests. Maybe you're, like, an Instagram gal. Or maybe that's something you'd love to do. And we can, like, go out and get each other's content. We can, like, make TikTok together. Do you know what I mean?
Starting point is 00:04:57 Like, it would actually be so fun. So that's genuinely something I'm considering right now. Hit me up if you want to live together. That's kind of weird, isn't it? But fuck it. Do you know what I mean? Fuck we're all friends but anyway completely off topic welcome back to another confessions diaries i had a rating okay i'm not bitter i know i keep whinging about my negative ratings recently i'm honestly not not bitter but i got this rating and she was like it's so clear that all the confessions are fake the the
Starting point is 00:05:26 podcast creator is making them up it's so obvious i was like okay first of all why would you leave me a negative review okay it's mean it's actually nasty to go out of your way to do that it's actually nasty it's not very nice i try very hard to make this a success and you're making it harder for me why would you do that to me but anyway it's fine the second point is i've never made up a confession or a dilemma or a message or anything in this podcast in my entire life and i can put my life on that i listen to me now if any of you fucking bitches think that i'm making this shit up that's just how crazy some of you guys are that people don't even believe you. So actually they're accusing you of lying because I would never make something up.
Starting point is 00:06:11 I'm not a liar. Okay. I'm an honest girl. I have a very, very intense conscience. Okay. No, but anyway, I found her because I then put up a story on Instagram saying, send me your assumptions about me because I want to do a bonus episode of all your assumptions about me. And somebody sent one in saying, I assume that all your confessions are fake. And I said, you fucking little bitch. And I spoke to her. I sent her a voice note saying, you are a little bitch. I would never make anything up like that.
Starting point is 00:06:39 I can't believe you'd accuse me of such a thing. I thought we were best friends. Anyway, she took it back. She said she was tipsy and bitchy, which actually made me laugh. But yeah, because she thought that, now I'm getting paranoid. Now it's really got in my head. Got right up in my head thinking you all think I'm lying and you think that these confessions are fake.
Starting point is 00:06:56 They ain't. All right? They're real. These confessions are real. Well, according to you guys, I don't know how real they are from your part. I hope none of you would ever lie to us i hope you're honest people you know but i just wanted to put that one out there okay anyone else that thinks that thinks that about me i can't believe you think that about me i can't believe what's what's that remind me of i can't believe um shanice i can't believe you said
Starting point is 00:07:19 my name wrong it's shanice anyway yeah so just put that out there that is not fucking true okay anyway me and her friends we've we had a fallout no we didn't really i would never fall out of anything i was just like listen up you little slut listen to me don't you ever accuse me of that shit again no obviously not but anyway oh actually while we're talking about that i put it on my story saying like if anybody else thinks this i just want you to know that it's not fake like I never actually thought people thought they were fake but now that I'm aware I just want you all to know they're not fake and then loads and loads of you went on Apple podcast and left me a really nice rate in and I literally cried I literally cried because I was just like oh like these are the people
Starting point is 00:08:02 that see me like feeling oh shit like my podcast are the people that see me, like, feeling, oh, shit, like, my podcast is suffering right now, and then you all want me to do well, and want me to feel better, so you, you take the time out of your day to go, and even if you don't write anything, you just hit five stars, but loads of you write, like, big fat paragraphs, I was like, oh my god, these are literally the bestest friends I've ever had in my life, do you know what I mean? So, honestly, thank you so much to everybody that's shown love recently. I literally love you all so, so, so much. Now, let's get into some of my confessions.
Starting point is 00:08:30 Now, where's the one I made up earlier? Joking. Just joking. See why it's just a bit of banter there between us. A bit of banter back and forth. Banter, you know. Anyway, let's kick off on Instagram. Okay.
Starting point is 00:08:44 When walking home back in school okay this is a minor one when walking home back in school i would put my bbm status as someone cool walking alone and hopes he would call me okay i feel like we all did that like you put on your private story like pop up pop up do you remember that pop up pop up oh who remembers msn i can literally hear the sounds in my head and it was like someone is online oh my god and then you'd appear offline when you when you like had an argument with your boyfriend or something and you'd appear offline and then they'd be like oh my fucking god that fucking bitch has gone offline um and like you nudge people nudge nudge how irritating was
Starting point is 00:09:19 it when someone nudged you i'm eating my dinner i'm eating my dinner i'm coming back but i used to love it i used to race my brother and sister to get to the computer after school i was like you're saying bolt i'm getting on msm babes before you i'm getting on msn before you trust me i am no honestly i used to love msm and bibo do you know i used to make skins on bibo and put them on tumblr like justin bieber matching skins do you know i had a justin bieber fanfic back in the day and i got like 1.8 million reads yeah that's a pretty big job I can do and also I had a Justin Bieber fan account and so did my best friend Zoe and I found that we actually communicated with each other on our Justin Bieber fan accounts like 10 years before we met crazy right literally crazy literally
Starting point is 00:10:01 crazy and I went to see Justin Bieber and I literally nearly passed out. It was when, it was on the Believe Tour, you know, when he started going a bit off the rails, started going off the rails, didn't he? And like, he was like two hours late to his concerts. Yeah. I went to one. I went to Birmingham though. And I was living in Somerset. So I drove, I traveled a long way. Uh, and he was, he wasn't two hours late, but he was a bit late and we was all waiting out the gates for him and he just drove past his car didn't even do the window down i was like that what a dick still love you though still love you jb i wasn't saying i still have a big fat place in my heart for him but i don't know if i do there is a video right any of my justin bieber super fans
Starting point is 00:10:40 do you remember that video where he was on a talk show I can't remember whose talk show it was the guy with silver hair gray hair silver me just trying to make him sound sexy and um he did that he had to read out like instructions on a packet of noodles and make it sound sexy and he's like pull back the lid fill water fill water to the fill line and it's like sit back and enjoy and i was like honestly like 14 year old leah was horny i was like he is hot honestly i was in love with him and then like snogged a mannequin i remember that he literally snogged a mannequin and i would literally watch in slow-mo i was like oh my god justin justin but i really hand on heart believe that Justin Bieber was
Starting point is 00:11:26 gonna fall in love with me do you know that when I went to the Believe tour I can't remember what the song was called but it was the acoustic one when he came out on the little crane around the arena I was literally like to my friend I was like he's literally looking me in the eye like he's literally looking me I was literally on the back row like he I was a pea to him I was literally a speck of dust that's how far away I was and i was like he's looking me in the eye like there's such a connection between us right now it's insane the fireworks i was literally the ugliest 14 year old you've ever seen like we didn't have influences when i was 14k so any any of my younger listeners we didn't have influences we had each other and we didn't know what the fuck we were doing we had dream map moose foundation okay and back home to care back back home to care oh my goodness
Starting point is 00:12:10 back home to her embarrassing it was very embarrassing and i literally thought justin was like wow look at that gorgeous girl with no eyebrows massive hair and and just thick ass foundation on her face who is that girl i was like uh-huh he's enough of me i genuinely genuinely believed he was gonna fall in love with me and then when he married hayley when i when obviously we were all older i was like hey that's so funny because i really did not see that coming anyway how did i get here we're literally talking about you walking home and putting your bbm thing and i got into how i thought jess and beaver was going to fall in love with me i know you all did as well though any of the jess and beaver fans you thought it as well but also while we're on the topic who was your
Starting point is 00:12:52 favorite jonas brother because i was a joe jones girl and i feel like most girls were nick but i was also obsessed with demi i still am demi is my life but honestly joe jonas had my heart I was so obsessed with that boy I was honestly so obsessed The way that they used to sing together Although I did love Nick when he was like You know what I'm on about But then Joe when he was just like Wouldn't change a thing in Camp Rock
Starting point is 00:13:18 Do you guys remember that? Like fire and rain Fire and rain You can drown me instead And I guess it matters to you for anything Like fire and rain, fire and rain, you can drown me instead, you can drown me instead, and I guess I'd murder you for anything. Anyway, should we get back into the confessions? Okay, next confession.
Starting point is 00:13:33 On my girl's holiday to Zante, Zante, why am I talking like a fucking idiot? Zante, how do you say it, Zante, Zante, Zante, am I okay, am I okay ak on my girl's holiday to zante i pissed on the floor next to my bed oh on the floor next to your bed i mean did you get out of bed to have a piss because if you did at least you got out of bed like i actually really admire that because we've had a lot of piss the bed story shit the bed stories at least you got out of your bed i don't think that's that bad that sounds like something i'd do to be to be honest, girl. Sounds like something I would fucking do. Although I wouldn't go on a girl's holiday to Zanty. I was never that cool girl.
Starting point is 00:14:10 I would like to. Who would like to go on holiday together? Lear on the Line trip? Imagine I had loads of fucking money and I was just rich and I could just buy us all a girl's trip. I could do a competition. And like 20 of us and just book us all a massive fucking villa uh anyway i don't have that sort of money so that will never be happening anyway i cheated on my ex at uni and never told him and i felt awful about it ever since oh i mean at least he's your ex
Starting point is 00:14:37 so at least it's not your current boyfriend where it's it's gonna continue it'll be a whoa whoa something just happened to me what would it'll be a persistent issue, persistent, oh, you guys know what the fuck I mean, what did I say last week, or this week, sorry, it was like stringing along like a piece of cheese, no one's, no one's mentioned that to me, and I've googled it, it's not a fucking saying, and you'll let me believe it was, it's not a saying, I thought of one earlier, and I thought, that's literally not a saying, um, I can't remember anyway. I'm just literally chatting so much shit tonight. I don't know what's the matter with me.
Starting point is 00:15:09 I get jealous of my bestie getting attention from boys even though I have a boyfriend. What the fuck is wrong with me? Lol. I mean, I kind of get it because I think, I don't think that's an issue in terms of like you're not getting enough in your relationship. I think that comes down to like a self-esteem thing. Like sometimes when you're not getting enough attention and your best friend's getting loads, you're like, am I ugly? Are you all telling me I'm ugly? Do you know what I mean? I'll just go fuck myself, shall I? Yeah, I get it. I think that's fair enough. You know, you probably still
Starting point is 00:15:38 love your boyfriend, no problems. But you know, everyone likes getting a bit of attention every now and then. So if you're just watching your best friend get it, it's probably just a bit like, well, I'll just go fuck myself. So yeah, I wouldn't kick yourself for that one, hun. Um, I slept with my ex last week. Oh girl, we've all done it. Do you know what I mean? There's not one of you listening now that hasn't slept with your ex. I mean, there definitely is. There's definitely loads of people that haven't gone back and had sex with their ex. But I'd say a higher percentage of people have probably had sex with someone after breaking up with them. Do you think? What do you guys think about that?
Starting point is 00:16:13 I'd say that's probably true. I'd say more people do than don't. Interesting. Interesting. Interesting. Fucking hell. I'm not even going to waste all of your time and try and think of the word because i don't even know what it is so let's just move on shall we um somebody says i sleep
Starting point is 00:16:31 with socks on uh that's criminal actually that's criminal i'm afraid honestly i can't get my head around it i feel like telling you all her name i think i'm joking but you know what i mean who sleeps with socks on if you got into bed with a guy and you get his socks on what would you say but then also get your crusty dusty toes away from me do you know what I mean? Who sleeps with socks on? If you got into bed with a guy and he had his socks on, what would you say? But then also get your crusty, dusty toes away from me. Do you know what I'm saying? I get turned on by the thought of my boyfriend cheating on me with other women. Girl. What on fuck?
Starting point is 00:16:58 What on fuck? I actually can't remember myself. What on earth is what I meant to say? Jesus, hun. Okay. has he actually done it but then when i was on hinge back in deer when i was like actually interested um well i don't even know if i was really interested why i was on why was i on hinge i think i was just like having fun being a single girl but anyway when i was on hinge some guy messaged me saying um because I had something about my podcast as one of my um prompts it was like um it was something about like if you date me I will tell I'll I'll bitch about you on my podcast or something like that um and then somebody
Starting point is 00:17:39 commented saying you should do a topic on what's it called when you when you watch your you watch other guys fuck your girlfriend basically he he I can't remember what it's called but he said that and I said to him I was like are you into that and he was and bear in mind he was a good looking guy like he was a normal looking geezer I mean not that oh not that it's not normal but it's uncommon I suppose um and I was just like I was like like, are you into that? And he was like, are you? And I was like, no. And he was just like, okay, yeah, this isn't going to work. And I was like, shall we unmatch? And he was like, yes. So we unmatched. But interesting, if it's a case of that, you get turned on by the thought of him cheating on you. Are you turned on
Starting point is 00:18:22 by the thought of him having sex with these women? Or are you turned on by the thought of him cheating on you. Are you turned on by the thought of him having sex with these women? Or are you turned on by the thought of him cheating? Like actually doing something he shouldn't be doing. I'm intrigued by that. Cannot relate. Couldn't think of anything worse than my boyfriend to cheat on me. I would end up in prison. One million percent. Okay, next one.
Starting point is 00:18:41 I once masturbated at work because my boyfriend at the name... I'm assuming you mean time. My boyfriend at the time never made me cum and I was frustrated lol. Jeez, I mean he must have really left you on the edge that you masturbated at work. And if so, what a prick, you know, what a prick. No, I'm kidding. But I mean, how many of you have masturbated at work? I have never, ever, ever done anything at work. How many of you have masturbated at work? I have never, ever, ever done anything at work. But oh no, I did get with a guy at work once. But it wasn't like anything crazy. I mean, I can't really remember how far we went. But yeah, interesting. Let me know how many of you have done that. I got fingered in my family hot tub last week. P.S. my family were not there.
Starting point is 00:19:23 I mean, how often do hot tubs get cleaned out and filtered and stuff? Does it have a filter? If so, then that's okay because it just gets cleaned. If it's like, surely a hot tub has to have a filter, right? Surely it's not just like fucking dirty water. Do you know what makes me feel sick? Hot tubs at the gym. Gross. I remember when I was in a hot tub at the gym once and this guy blew his nose was in the hot tub together but it's really awkward because i was in there and this big hairy man came in i was like ew like you you're all sweaty and disgusting and he sat in there and i was literally like i can't get out straight away because he knows i've just got out because of
Starting point is 00:20:00 him so i have to like sit there for a bit and i was like all right he's like yeah you're right and i'm like yeah and then we're both just really awkwardly sat in this hot tub together and then he snots blows his nose into his hands snots into his hands and wipes it into the water i was like no that's my cue to leave but even that even that i was still not brave enough to get up and get out and i just had to sit there and be like i'm swimming in someone's snot right now you better believe i fucking ran to that shower as soon as I got out. I was like, and then I never got back in that hot tub again. So I don't know.
Starting point is 00:20:31 I'd honestly probably rather get in your hot tub after you got fingered than being in a hot tub with a hairy, snotty man. I'm not going to lie. Anyway, I moan two different guys' names during sex, both the wrong name. How many of you has this happened to? Please let me know if this has happened to you before because fucking hell i might do a poll on my instagram story for the next confessions episode to know how often this has happened but how many of you have moaned a different guy's name during sex touch wood it has never happened to me or the other way around
Starting point is 00:21:02 like i've never done it no one's ever done that to me what would you do if a guy moaned another girl's name imagine a guy was having sex with me and he went oh millie i'm like you you what love you what who the fuck's millie then do you mean i don't think i could ever see the boy again is that over is that over the top of a reaction but imagine i was in bed with someone and I was like, oh, I'm trying to think of a name of someone that I don't know and I can't, so forget it. But anyway, he would not be happy. God, it would kick off. Do you know what I'm saying?
Starting point is 00:21:36 How did he react? I'd love to know. Okay, I piss in the shower. Apparently not many people do. What? I refuse to believe. I think 80% of people wee in the shower, apparently not many people do. What? I refuse to believe. I think 80% of people wee in the shower. No?
Starting point is 00:21:49 Oh, that's going to have to be another poll, isn't it? Should I do a load of polls and we'll come back next week? Right, I'm going to make some notes on my phone because otherwise I'll forget. So what was the first one? Moaned during sex and how many people wee in the shower? Okay, stay tuned on Instagram instagram if you're listening on the first day it'll be up and uh let me let me know how many of you actually do this stuff because i think we in the shower is very normal you know um i used to leave things at my situationship's
Starting point is 00:22:21 house just so i could have an excuse to go back I've left jumpers lip glosses and even my glasses in his gloves box of the car also in case another girl finds them not toxic lol bye you know what I kind of like him I got nice toxic as fuck no I mean I've definitely left something somewhere just as an excuse to go back before um well actually I left when I was at uni and I met my first boyfriend I left something in his room because I wanted to message him when I got back and I needed a reason to message him is that that's actually a fucking great idea you can all take that right so say like you've gone to um got out with a guy or like out in his car or whatever leave um something in his car leave it on like the passenger seat where you were sat and make out a fellow your pocket or something or leave it like on his bedside table
Starting point is 00:23:17 or on his bed and then hopefully he'll message you and be like oh you left your thing here you know then you then you're chatting and if he's not interested he won't let you know he won't let you know you left it am i am i have i just started the most universal girl code ever is that genius or what so like something you need as well like i don't know like i don't know something you can leave like headphones and if he doesn't give a fuck he ain ain't going to message you saying, by the way, you left your headphones here. He'll see them and go, stupid bitch has left her headphones. I'll be taking those. Or if he's into you, he'll text you going, you left your headphones, babe. You're going to have to come back and get
Starting point is 00:23:58 them or I'll bring them to you. Don't worry. I feel like I'm missing what may be wrong with that, but it sounds like a brilliant idea currently. You guys can all do that and let me know how it goes for you. Okay, next confession. They're getting a bit longer now. Okay. Hi, Leah. Love you. Hope you're well. Love you too. Now, this is probably one of the most embarrassing things to ever happen to me, but I was once sleeping at my best mate at the time's house for the first time i've always had a problem with eating or drinking milk and at the time i didn't think much of it oh god we already know where this is gonna go to be fair it wouldn't be a confession of diaries without some sort of poo story involved would it okay her mum made us mac and cheese for dinner big mistake ate the whole damn thing and had extra. Anyway,
Starting point is 00:24:49 then we went to bed and I was like, shit, my tummy feels funny. I woke up and I literally shat myself. I've obviously never done this before. Never done anything like this. Luckily, I wasn't sharing a bed with her. I was on an airbed. So I got up and went to the toilet, cleaned up and thought, oh, I'll throw away my knickers in the main bin. I would not leave my shitty knickers anywhere, I'm not gonna lie. I'd wash them in the sink, and then bury them at the bottom of my bag. But continuing on, only to find out there's no fucking bin, just some small little shopping plastic bag. This was early in the 2000s, so I don't know. So I threw my knickers into the shitty bin trying to hide it, only to turn around and see her mum in the same room as me as I had this dilemma. The next morning, so your mum saw you digging away your shitty knickers. Shit.
Starting point is 00:25:37 Literally shit. The next morning, I woke up, didn't see her mum and promptly left very early. I was only like 11. 11 oh that's actually really sad i actually feel really sorry for you that's really embarrassing and traumatizing for an 11 year old oh i wish i could give you a hug 11 year old you and and however old you are now i'd like to hug you now as well it just sounded like i was being really like ew i wouldn't hug you now only 11 year old you anyway what the fuck did i do she fuck up, so, she had to walk me home, from this day, I've never told her about it, and we're no longer friends, which is good, because I'm guessing her mum would have told her, I don't know if she would have, like, if you're 11 year olds, I think your
Starting point is 00:26:18 mum probably would have respected your, her mum would have respected her privacy, you'd least like to hope so, wouldn't you, especially because she'd probably think that 11-year-old her is going to go and score me like, my mum told me you shit yourself on my bed. Do you know what I mean? I'm actually mortified. Love you, babe. Hope you're good and have a good, nice laugh over this. I actually feel sorry for you because you were 11. Like, I actually don't find it funny. I find it really horrible. Like, I just feel sad for you. I mean, I'm glad it's in the past and everything's fine. I'd like to know why you're no longer friends though. Was there any tea there or did you drift? Anyway, next one. Hi. So I know this is awful, but I had some friends around and not my boyfriend. Oh God. As he was away,
Starting point is 00:26:59 one of my guy friends decided he'd stay the night and we ended up sleeping together. Worst decision I've ever made. It's been six months and my boyfriend still doesn't know and I no longer speak to that guy friend. I'm living with guilt but can't bring myself to tell my boyfriend as we're together almost three years and I see the rest of my life with him. I'm an awful person, I know. Oh, babe. Shit. What would I do if you were my best friend?
Starting point is 00:27:31 I mean, I know it's not Tuesday Dilemmas, but if you were my best mate, I'd let you live with it. I can't lie. Does that make me a terrible person? I'd be like, look, if you can't tell him, don't tell him. Oh my God, does that make me a horrible
Starting point is 00:27:45 person it kind of does because if it was the other way around and your boyfriend cheating on you i'd i fucking want to i want it out of him but anyway this isn't dilemma so i'm just here to accept your confession and say everything's going to be okay you're not a terrible person people are allowed to make mistakes don't worry you're not a bad person okay you made a mistake that doesn't make you a bad person bad human being all right i love you my boyfriend and i were on holiday together exploring some historical palace gardens beautiful the sun had set and it was kind of romantic so we're feeling kind of frisky oh yeah i already like where this is going wine of course was involved wine does something to
Starting point is 00:28:22 you doesn't it i mean i know it's literally it doesn't make any scientific sense to say that different drink does different things to you it's literally all just ethanol methanol ethanol ethanol methanol not methanol i don't know which one it is ethanol anyway continuing on so we decided to sneak further into the garden so we could emojis so we could have sex after rummaging through some bushes we eventually found this cave-like area perfect and private he had me bent over and we were going at it for about 10 minutes bear in mind this cave is literally pitched back that sounds fucking terrifying that sounds literally like my idea of hell worst nightmare vibes like that is that is so scary to me.
Starting point is 00:29:06 Pitch black in a cave, being bent over. No, thank you. Continuing on. All of a sudden, this scary looking man just appeared in front of us. My dress was basically hanging off me at this point. Tits out the lot and my boyfriend was pantless. Oh my God, you're bent over with your titties out in a cave
Starting point is 00:29:26 and this guy's like hello oh my god that's so scary hello oh my god that's actually quite scary i just mean i'm fucking me myself panic then it was my headphones in my ears hello oh god sorry if you're driving hello are you driving so sorry if you're driving please nobody nobody crash anyway where was i um tits out blah blah blah pantness i kid you not i screamed mate i would have screamed as well honey um i thought we were going to die there and then it would have been a murderer's dream oh my god literally two young naked people alone in a pitch black cave luckily for us we just disturbed some homeless man's nap oh a homeless man in a cave that makes me sad sorry i had a hiccup clearly this was his spot not as private as we thought i mean girl i mean that's fucking scary i can't lie i bet you will
Starting point is 00:30:21 never forget that that's what's funny i mean it sounds like you had an amazing night with your boyfriend like you had the most romantic fun night and then you just got you know got ahead of yourselves went into a pitch black cave had sex and got caught by a man so you know I I think I still think it's kind of romantic even though it's quite traumatizing for you next confession actually let's make this the last one because I do have a really sore throat at the moment I'm always ill aren't i always anyway this one actually sounds quite similar well it starts very similar i was on holiday with my ex-boyfriend and we decided to have sex on the beach after clubbing a lot of you have sex on the beach with your boyfriends i feel like this is something i need to experience i've never done that before um but it's very common in these confessions so
Starting point is 00:31:03 exciting i just imagine it'd be very sandy and messy, and I don't think I'd be able to relax. I'd also be scared that a crab's going to come up and bite my fucking pussy lip off. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, then when... Okay, sorry, sorry, I missed a bit. We decided to have sex on the beach after clubbing.
Starting point is 00:31:18 We were extremely drunk. Then, when we were done, after God knows how long, we walked back up the beach until some security guard stopped us in our tracks, wondering why on earth we were on the beach at 3am in the morning. We then realised that my boyfriend left his passport in the place we had sex. No! No! He had it with him to use his ID by the way but the security guards wouldn't let us back on the beach you're not going on the beach it was a little beach so i think that's why there were
Starting point is 00:31:52 guards not sure so in our drunken state we ended up running past the security guards until they chased us and we had to hide from them long story short after an hour of searching for the passport and escaping the guards we finally found it and went back to our hotel woke up in the morning with lots of sand on our bed and let's just say a very well exfoliated vagina love you bye oh my god that's a fucking brilliant story i bet your vagina was very soft after all that sand that is so sweet i actually love the drama it's the drama mick it's the drama mick i just love it no honestly i do just love it the way that you were just like run and you run in because obviously you're on holiday you need the passport do you know what i mean you need the passport to get home it ain't gonna be there in the morning at the end of the
Starting point is 00:32:40 day tide's coming in hon tide's coming in past what's going to be out at sea that was very um again i use this word a lot in weird situations but i think it's romantic like i just think it's sweet it's wrong it's it's so right you know it's like you could have gotten a lot of trouble don't be silly like that again getting in trouble with the police on holiday you silly silly girl and boy but honestly i love it it's so sweet it's such a great story you had sex with your boyfriend on the beach got in trouble with the police ran past well they weren't the police were they they were security that's a bit dramatic of me ran past them looking for the passport like it's so exciting i'm so glad you found it though imagine the stress if you didn't god imagine the stress if you didn't all for a shag it would have been the biggest mistake of your
Starting point is 00:33:29 life that shag well of his you could have been on that flight home honey see ya anyway oh i loved this week it was very fun i thoroughly enjoyed myself today um thank you guys so much for all your love i literally say this every time but it i never i never can get my head around it that you guys actually listen to me like app choice i mean like i'm not paying any of you to listen like you actually do this out of choice is that not a form of torture like i i should i don't get it i can't listen to my episodes back do you know that i literally record them and upload them and just hope for the best hope i didn't say anything that I might regret.
Starting point is 00:34:06 But you know what? It's because I'm lazy and I don't want to sit there and edit. Do you know what it is as well? I think that when I listen back to my episodes and I go like, right, I'm going to edit them. That's when I cut shit out that I just think, keep it real. Do you know what I mean? Let's keep it real. So the main reason I actually don't listen to them back is because I just want to be myself. I just want to keep it real, do you know what I'm saying, I just want to be me at the end of the day, I'm here to enjoy myself GC style, so I hope you
Starting point is 00:34:32 guys don't mind the mess, you know, like there's so much I stutter, so much I say wrong and I could just stop, go back, cut it out, do you know what I mean, but that's not me at the end of the day, I am who I am and I stand by by that. And I fucking stand by that. If anyone gets that reference. I use that reference way too often, don't I? I love Belle. Anyway, guys, thank you so much for listening to this week's episode. Had so much fun.
Starting point is 00:34:56 Thank you so much to everyone that sent in your confessions. Keep them coming. Honestly, never stop. I need these confessions. They are very difficult to get enough for an episode because obviously I use so many in one episode that by the time I've come to the next one, I'm like, fuck, I need more confessions. And I don't make them up. All right. I don't, you bitch. No, I actually don't. I actually promise I don't. But to be honest,
Starting point is 00:35:21 I understand why you'd think I would because some of them are pretty crazy and I do get it get it and there are a lot there are a lot of content creators out there where you just don't know how real their content is but here's one thing you can believe about me i'm as real as it gets baby i'm a real gal i'm honest i'm truthful i'm myself it's me on the line okay it's not it's not bullshit over here we don't chat lies we. We talk the truth. We speak facts, honey. Anyway, I love you so much. Thank you so much, every single one of you that listens, messages, leaves a rating, follows, has the bell on. Or even if you just put me on for 10 minutes and go, oh, I really can't get into this podcast. She does my fucking head in.
Starting point is 00:36:00 Thank you for the 10 minutes. Do you know what I mean? I'm grateful. So, yeah, I will let you guys get on with your day I hope that you make um the most of however long is left of your day if it's nighttime and you're falling asleep wake up just kidding go to sleep um I love you guys so much and I will speak to you on hopefully Sunday hopefully don't take my word for it but just check here in case there's an episode um I'm gonna try my best all right I love you guys so much be safe don't text your ex text me make terrible decisions and write them in for
Starting point is 00:36:31 a confession all right have the best weekend I love you

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