Leap Academy with Ilana Golan - Changing the Conversation on Depression & Suicide - Mark Elias

Episode Date: September 21, 2023

Depression. Suicide. Are these more common than we think?  Are we talking about it enough?  Award winning actor and filmmaker Mark Elias is shining the light on these topics with his film Exitus.  In this episode Ilana and Mark take a deep dive into the experience of Depression, acceptance and navigating challenges while on the path to success. Mark has worked on series such as on 911: Lone Star and Lucifer alongside actors such as Rob Lowe and Liv Tyler. Watch this episode on YouTube -  https://youtu.be/GZ-KibNaw9k You can  connect with Mark here:LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/mark-elias-0aab9b3/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mark.elias1 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/markelias/ Email: [e-mail] ------- About Ilana Golan & Leap Academy:Website - https://www.leapacademy.com/Follow Ilana on LinkedIn - https://www.linkedin.com/in/ilanagolan/YouTube Channel - https://www.youtube.com/@ilanagolan-leap-academy

It's probably not out of reach to say that every single person at some point has faced some adversity that might spiral them towards a level of touching towards depression. Somebody to say, I've never had it is like saying I've never been sad, which is just not, it's just not a reality. Stop being afraid of the stigma. Like, I'm serious. Like, if you're watching this, stop being afraid of the stigma. It's time to get over that fear. Welcome to The Leap Show. In The Leap Show, we're here to bring experts from around the globe who share inspiring stories, concrete tips and insight on what helped them become the best version of themselves and who they are today and create the incredible life that they wanted. Subscribe and follow us, share this with friends who are also driven and aiming for more because you'll hear stories and tips that you'll hear nowhere else. Hi, I'm Ilana Golan, CEO of Leap Academy, which helps driven professionals reinvent,

leap their careers to the next level. Now let's get started. So today we have a really, really, really special guest with us today. We've actually never had an actor on the show before. So this is super exciting for me. Mark Elliott is here. He's an actor.

He's been on Fox 911 Lone Star with Rob Lout. Like that is really cool. A few other shows. He's also a filmmaker and he is actually has a featured film called Exodus on a topic that I find incredibly important. And that's why part of the reason why I wanted him on the show. It's going to talk about depression and suicide. Mark, thank you for making it to the show. Of course. Thank you for having me. Amazing. Amazing. So first of all, I have to ask, like, how do you even get started being an actor? That is just so hard. It's such a hard market.

Tell me a little more. I moved to LA and didn't know anybody. So it was like really learning everything from the ground up and making friends. And it was just something that growing up in Philadelphia, it was never an option. Like you grow up playing sports and that's it. And you're a soccer guy, right? I am. I'm a huge soccer fan. I still try and play as much as I can. But you're also, it's like part of the Philadelphia genetics is you're a crazy sports fan in general, which I haven't lost that, but I moved to LA and had to find out everything about how this industry works because I had an interest in film and I knew that there was like storytelling was something I'd always been

passionate about. But just, you know, you had no idea what that path is to become an actor. And the irony is kind of, if you just grew up here and wanted to do it, it's just right there for you. And there's a network. And just coming here with nobody, you have no network. So it was a convoluted path. It was definitely not linear, but it was something that I was able to figure out as I made my mistakes and keep going and stacking the days sort of just to keep kind of trying to get to where I wanted to go. Incredible. think part of the calling to, you know, to be, to be drawn into how people with anxiety and depression, um, where did that come from? Because I assume, I mean, for people who don't know if I'm

just searching, um, about, uh, depression and anxiety in the U S alone, the statistics are like 30% of the adults feel it, right? Had at some point a depression in their life. Why did that become a passion for you, Mark? Yeah, I just want to say also that the research, that's all the people that are willing to admit that they had it before. There's people that aren't going to even say that they had it before, which is a whole other thing.

But I think for me, it was having depression, anxiety and depression when I was younger and not really being able to identify what it was and struggling with that. And I mean, I was a very angsty teen, so I think that had a lot to do with it. But not knowing how to deal with it, not being prepared. Like we know that schools don't prepare you for mental health at all.

And you kind of don't know that there's a thing like I've kind of heard once in the acting world where they say it's called emotions, not E standing still, meaning these emotions will pass. It's in motion. And that's something you kind of don't know in the moment. And so I think a lot of it is when you are struggling with that when you're younger, or even when things get bad, when you get older, it just takes one person to remind you that it's just in a moment and there's ways out of it. But that's the problem with it is you don't have that ability necessarily. So if you grapple with something and you're not able to reach out, then you keep spiraling downwards. It's something that, you know, luckily I was able to navigate, but it's, you know, for me, it's always kind of popped up. And there's things obviously in your career creatively that can, you can spiral if you don't find ways to pull yourself out. a lot of people will hear this episode and will start understanding like, this is me. Because sometimes you don't even know that you're how depressed you are, or is this maybe I'm,

I'm beyond fixing, right? I, I think for me, the thing is that I am, I've learned to extrovert pretty well over the years, but being initially an introvert, when things don't go well, I introvert harder. And I think a lot of people maybe do that. And then that's like kind of, I think, the criticism I feel from the outside about depression. And what I want to explain to those people is that, sure, an answer might be to reach out. But when you are feeling about depression and you're introverting, you don't want to explain to those people is that, sure, an answer might be to reach out. But when you are feeling about depression and you're introverting, you don't want to reach out.

Reaching out feels even darker and more dangerous. And that's part of the issue. That's part of the struggle, which I think a lot of it is just having to try and identify what it is you're going through or navigate it because you can't just talk it away in your mind. It's there. And part of it is just if you're going to deal with it or you're going to give yourself something else to do that's going to shift your focus for a while. I can't even say there was like one thing that gave me depression or any kind of, you know, ideology for suicide. It was something I'd considered but never attempted. So I think there's definitely a different, there's definitely a different sort of level. There's people that I've talked to that are suicide survivors, and that's a different thing um but certainly i think just for me it was something that happened when i was younger and it always was with me and i don't know if it's they say it's like a scorpio you know if you're if you're born in that time of year it's just inherent in your nature and i don't know if

that's just an easy way to write it off but i can't point my finger to one thing and say like that was the moment when it started i i just don't, it's something that kind of compounds maybe over time. And I think that's the thing that I wasn't able to identify until I years later, look back and talk through it. We talked a little bit about it right before the show in entrepreneurship. We, you know, I think mental health is something, something that is not talked about enough. I think that at that point, it's not 30%. I think it's 95. I would be, you bet my life that almost every entrepreneur has what we call entrepreneurship PTSD. And at some point, that near death experience that I don't know how I'm going to survive. So when you're deep underwater and

you can't breathe, and I agree with you, all you want to do is tuck under the bed and to not talk to anyone because everything else is vulnerable. What helps? Sometimes it's just a good night's sleep. It's such a hard question because I do think also the reality is that human beings are more or less, we have a neurological wiring that's not massively different from one person to the next. So it's probably not out of reach to say that every single person at some point has faced some adversity that might spiral them towards a level of touching towards depression. To say that somebody's somebody to say I've never had it is like saying I've never been sad, which is just not, it's just not a reality. And some people are more, they're more in the fire because of what they're doing as a,

you know, CEO startup or as an independent filmmaker when everything is on you. I don't think I've ever told this story before, but when I was 15, I went on this like exchange program thing to Spain. And I was a good, like I was a B Spanish student. Like I was, I enjoyed it. I was a pretty good student, but I went and stayed with a family and I was there for a month

and this family didn't speak any English. I was thrown right into the fire. And it was a moment that you don't expect as a 15 year old. It's a different culture, you know, and I was just, you, you either are overwhelmed and you sink or you jump in and thrown into the fire. And three weeks later I was fluent in Spanish when I came back. So unbeknownst to me until maybe just this moment, I'm like, that was something that I learned about myself that when you throw yourself into the fire, you come out stronger and you start building a pattern of success for that. So I don't feel like I've failed before. And so I'm going to fail again. Like when I moved to Los Angeles, I didn't know a single person.

I knew one person who was a friend that I had made and I was crashing on his couch and I got an email from him forwarded from a mutual friend who was in New York and it made fun of me for moving to Los Angeles and becoming an actor. And I knew then like this person wasn't my friend either and I moved out and I was in LA with no, with nobody, no support, no network. And I was like, this is a business I

want to get into. I learned what a headshot was. I learned what an agent was, what a demo reel was. I learned everything. And it takes 10 years to build any kind of network. So it was that moment of I'm doing this. I'm not moving back home. It's going to be rough, but I just forged through it. It was kind of that thing of you're getting thrown into the fire. You have to just keep going. The hardest part of making a film, probably of starting a company, is saying I'm going to do it. Once you say I'm going to do it, everything else after that is you just navigating. You've already done the hardest part. It's just saying yes. Yeah, it's going to be impossible. It's going to be 10 times harder. Yeah, there's never going to

be enough money. Yeah, everybody you want is going to say no for some reason. Yeah, everybody's going to want more money. Yeah, nobody's going to want to actually do the work. Yeah, everybody's going to want credit. No, you can't shoot because of the weather for this. It's just one thing after another. You just go, okay, so we figure that out and we keep going. That is so powerful because it's so, so true. The challenges are really inevitable, but the suffering through it is a choice. And I think that's part of what drives you to talk about the mental health and to do this amazing film that you're about to do. And I do want to talk a little bit about it, but right before that, what do you wish somebody would have told you maybe a decade ago or whatever

when you were in kind of one of those dark moments, because you went to a lot, what is one thing that somebody could have said that would have helped you? I think one thing that somebody could have said to me was the status quo is BS. You don't have to sit around and wait for an audition. You don't have to accept what the universe is giving you because that's what we're told. Like being able to write and then find out that you're a good writer and you can tell impactful stories for me was a huge shift where one person encouraged me. He's like, hey, you're really good writer. You should write.

And I wrote a script and it got great feedback and it got optioned. And then I just realized, like, I have these stories that I'm passionate about telling. Independent films are, to me, the ones that are the most impactful because they educate and they entertain, or there's something to it that makes it not a studio sort of moneymaker. And so I wish somebody had said, extrovert, don't introvert, just keep going. Do, you know, forge your own path. That's kind of the biggest thing that I don't want to like feel like there's regrets. But I think that that's something that if I had known earlier, I would have gone hard for that. Like I am now when I see something and I know this is exactly what I want to make. This is the story. It's on the page. We need to put the pieces together and then we have a great product. Amazing. And I do want to talk about your

filmmaking. But I think at least some of the people would love to know how the heck you, you know, you got to do, you know, you know, act with Rob Lau or my daughter will probably love to hear how you got into lucifer like how did you eventually find your way from knowing nobody to at least get some episodes in these incredible you know series that everybody's dreams i think there was a lot of just trial and error, failure, learning how the system works, learning. I mean, I always enjoyed the craft. So it was always going back to the craft and knowing I know that I'm good at this. I know I have an instinct for it. I know that I trained, I did improv. I studied at different acting schools that kind of focus on different things. And I started to get roles and stuff and started to realize like, I can keep navigating this.

I, this is kind of what I was meant to do. I'm not, I'm just not a sit in an office desk kind of guy. And that's actually fine, which I guess as a child, you don't know that because you don't see that, but there's other avenues. So I knew that I was creative and I knew that I was a little bit different in the way that my brain works and functions. It's scary when you're younger because you don't know and you seem weird and then you start to see that there's avenues for that. So I think just sticking to that path of doing it and realizing when you're doing it, how natural it feels for you was each step that made me be like, okay, so what's my next goal? Like, am I building more of these kinds of credits now?

TV credits get you a lot further. Like I did this movie, a lead role in this movie. It was a really fun, it was a really good movie. And then after it wrapped, I, you know, I went back to my agents at the time and they said, well, yeah, it's an indie movie. Like the TV credits are so much better. So, and it was like, I just did a lead in a feature and I was part of like the ensemble cast that carried it. And you're telling

me that I can't get a one line as a, like a waiter on a popular show. Like the system doesn't make sense. So you kind of keep doing the things that you want to do, like making the indie films or doing these indie films that are really good. And then you build the credits that you want to do, like making the indie films or doing these indie films that are really good. And then you build the credits that matter as you go as well. So then you become better at auditioning. You build more relationships. I booked the first 9-1-1 show, the LA-based one, and did really well there. I made some friends on that set. Um, Angela Bassett was really amazing, uh, to work with. And then there was an opportunity for this, uh, 9-1-1 Lone Star show with, with Rob Lowe and they had, um, Liv Tyler in it. And that show was just

starting. And then I auditioned for it and I was like, thank you very much. It was amazing. I appreciate the opportunity. And then I didn't hear anything. And I was like, thank you very much. It was amazing. I appreciate the opportunity. And then I didn't hear anything and then went and got this audition for Lucifer. And then I ended up booking Lucifer. And I went back to my friend over at 911. I was like, I just booked Lucifer. It's crazy. And he's like, well, you might not be able to do it because I just put your name in for

Lone Star. And I was like, I got off the phone. I was like, I think I just booked two shows in like five minutes. And it turned out I was able to do both. So it was a crazy experience, but your career can turn that fast. So you just keep chipping away and chipping away like the overnight sensation thing is a complete myth. Like you keep chipping away and then you chip away and then a big break comes and then you go with that for as long as you can. And then you hope to build off that and you just keep stacking. You just keep stacking the wins really. I mean. Exactly. You keep standing on the shoulders of what you achieved and try to aim higher. And

that's incredible because it's, it's, there's so many similarities to so many industries. It's just about not giving away to the no and not accepting the rejection and just not letting that stop you because the people that will continue when most people stop, these are the people that will live the dream that most others will just dream of, right? But creating a film is just so, there's just so many things. Like that sounds completely crazy to me, at least. But again, you decide and you already have two films that you've done. And now you're super passionate about this film, Exodus. Tell us a little bit storm but it is certainly a passion i think um who should see exodus i think um everybody should see it i think and

stop being afraid of the stigma like it's like i'm serious like if you're watching this stop being afraid of the stigma it's time to get over that fear. Great movies have a story that informs and entertains. So you can learn something, you can be entertained by, there's entertainment value as well as a story to be told or a lesson to learn from it. And I think they touch people in their deepest and most intimate emotions and fear and love. And I think that this is a film that can help you or anyone that you love. They might not know it yet. It might be your kids. It might be your kids' kids. But being able to see this movie, be informed by it. And if it doesn't help you directly,

you can understand someone else. And you can get that out of an hour and 30 minutes of a film that could, I've been told by investors that I know that they've taken their child to a movie and it has changed their lives. So for that to be an investment of your money or time or whatever, for something that is a topic that's only going to get more and more important as we move forward as a society is it's nothing like I, I talked to a successful business, like a successful business guy who has every reason to be the most positive, energetic, happy person with a quality life

during the pandemic. And he said to me, you would be surprised how many people in the business world are affected and now acknowledge depression and potential suicidal thoughts as something that they have felt and don't want to bring up because you could potentially lose your job. And to that, I'd say, who are the people that, if you're the person who's going to fire somebody or take them off of a board because they're struggling with something like that, then who are you to not? Where is the support in any part of that for anybody?

Sit down, watch the movie, try and understand, be affected by it. It could change your life. It could change the life of somebody, you know. So right now you're working on this movie, right? Um, and I think you're looking for active investors. That's how we met. Um, and I think what you're creating is incredibly important, uh, as far as a cause. Depression has hit our home pretty deep a couple of years ago. So I think this is, again, it's something people just don't talk about a lot. And I think that's an incredible, important topic. So first of all, if people do want to invest in something cool like film, why should they invest and how did they beat you? I think if you're going to invest in a film and something that has social meaning and a social impact, that right there, I think is a great reason to invest. You can talk about the financial

aspects of it and that's something obviously can be discussed over a zoom pitch or something. But I think that if you're looking to invest in a film, I think part of it's asking yourself why, like, what are you doing? Not to sound, obviously you'd not sound righteous about it,

but it's like, what are you able to do with that? Like you have the ability to invest in something or how can you touch other people with that? And so I think that kind of, for me, is a big thing. There's an opportunity there, not just to have it be about money, but have it be about maybe creating a better future, even for just your kids or something. So I think that's kind of the big thing I would say.

That would be a reason to really consider. And yeah, I mean, I can be reached over LinkedIn, obviously, Instagram, and then my email address, which I can provide for you and they can put it in the links. Yeah, we'll put all the links. Again, Mark, I think what you're creating is incredible. I think it's a topic that needs to be talked about. And like, you know, like people say, you know, picture is worth a thousand words of a video or film is worth millions of words. Right. So I assume that's kind of where you are. Right. So I assume that's kind of where you are, right? Yeah. To me, I just I think so many times when you think of something in your childhood that. Stuck with you and you don't know why or something you saw in a movie, it impacted you. Think about I feel think about giving that experience to future generation that could potentially help them in a time of crisis that they don't even know about yet. So for me, I feel to Mark, have a discussion because it's such an

important topic. We're big about impact and leap anyway, and influence and whatever we can to broaden that reach. So Mark, thank you for coming to the show and for sharing your experience and for giving us a little glimpse into this world that usually we don't have a lot of access to. Thank you. It's motivational and cathartic for me. So thank you. Thank you for listening and hope you enjoyed this show. Don't forget to subscribe, follow, share this with friends. I'll see you in the next Leap Show.