Leave A Message with Ally & G - 1 - The Speed Dial You Never Knew You Needed

Episode Date: March 6, 2024

It's the first episode of Leave A Message! Ally & G are here to share the stories, dramas and dilemmas sent in by the Gallies... and we're starting how we mean to go on with water-spitting worthy stories. This week Ally & G are exploring all things female friendships. What do you do when you're feeling totally alone in your friendship group? How do you handle a friend talking about you behind your back? The best friendships might be the imperfect ones, but Ally & G are here to help you break free from your toxic situations! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 🎵 In another world, I could have been like one of those garage MCs. Do you know what I mean? A to the B to the... Craig David. It's L to the E to the A to the B to the E. Leave a message. That's what they do. I went to Bristol.

I don't know if you know. Yeah, I forget that about you. Not a lot of people would expect Bristol from you. Do you know who My New Leng is? Sorry, this is a really bad opening. Bad tangent. Go on. My New Leng.

Soul shake. And it came on the radio this morning and I was like in my room like, douche, douche, douche. Back in your uni days, your bad gal era. Bad gal era. Right.

We're not here to talk about My New Leng. We're actually here to talk about our new podcast. Leave a message. So each week we're going to explain to you what the podcast is. to you what the podcast is what the purpose is what the purpose is why the hell

you've chosen to listen to us today very good to have a why that's what we've decided as you move through this world I'm going to try and sell you every week on this podcast so I'm a bit of a

you know teacher's pet so I've actually written something but I only wrote it on the tube on my way in so it wasn't like super prepared that's the difference between me and her

I would never do that in my entire life but that's good you're a good ad libber yeah I can do it off the cuff babe I can just do it off the cuff on my way in so it wasn't like super prepared that's the difference between me and her i would never do that my entire life but that's good you're a good ad libber yeah i can do it off the cuff babe i can just do it off the cuff it's just so you were saying that so with your chest and then you're a bit like well no i'm a bit embarrassed shouldn't say it too hard give us your elevator pitch for this podcast welcome to leave a message with ali and g the speed dial you never knew you needed reporting for duty as admins of the world's juiciest, unfiltered, anything goes group chat. Here to listen, laugh and marvel at your daily thoughts, dilemmas

and antics. Let's go. Very good. I couldn't have ad-libbed that. That's really good. That's really good. Come on. Well done, babe. Come on, the gals. Come on, the gals. Come on, the galleys. Welcome to the pod. Sorry it's taken us so long to do this. I know.

We know everyone's been gagging for it. Yeah, but sometimes a good thing takes... What's that saying? Sometimes a good thing takes... Good things worth waiting for take a while to wait for. Good things take time. Good things come to those who wait. No, it's like a diamond takes a million years to grow.

A diamond's the thing about pressure. like a diamond takes a million years to grow the diamond's the thing about pressure like a diamond exists under pressure yeah let's go with that that's we have been under pressure under pressure do do do do do do do do do do do do it only felt right that our first episode would be about female friendship because i feel like we are the champions and the spearheads. Is that the right word? I like it. Go with it. The spearheads of female friendships

and like the good, the bad, the ups, the downs, all the ugly, all the pretty. Like, it's something. I'm talking about you and me, babe. I know, which one am I? The ugly, probably. Just taking a guess. Don't worry about it.

You pick. Depends on the day, to be fair. You should have seen me this morning. No, babe. I was in a world of trouble. I woke up and I thought, well, I look like I've been dead five years. Honestly, I looked,

when I say rough, like really... No, when it's sad, when you take your makeup off and you think, oh, there I am. Who's that? Who the fuck is that? Yeah. And you're looking back at me.

Babe, you're allowed to swear on the podcast. I know, guys. No. Go out, fuck. No, pastor jar on this fucking podcast okay okay okay no we want to talk about female friendships because like basically our whole dms is questions about friendship yeah well questions about friendships and questions about like boys being like being like wanky and i don't like to generalize but like generally the questions are about wanky boys and wanky friends sure and i just feel like everyone's looking to us even though i don't know why everyone thinks we have the answer because we don't we we should actually put that disclaimer out that we are not professionals oh yeah that

was any advice we give is not don't take it at face value exactly with a. With a pinch of salt, I'd say, and with no credentials. No. Because we don't have them. We really are just making it up. And I think that that's the thing that people... Sometimes I think that we make it look really fun and shiny. But, like, we fight all the time. All the time.

We get on each other's tits all the time. As, like, it's normal. And I think it's really rare to see people doing that, like, out in the world. And everyone thinks, oh, my God, everyone has these perfect friends. Yeah, and it's not perfect. No people doing that, like, out in the world, and everyone thinks, oh, my God, everyone has these perfect friends. Yeah, and it's not perfect. No, and actually the best friendships are the imperfect friendships.

Say it again, sister! Okay, hold on. Sometimes the best friendships are the imperfect ones. I liked it. You're going with it, and it's good. It's very good. So anyway, so that's why we're here. We wanted, well, that's not why we're here.

We're here to make a load of cash and to get loads of people to subscribe to us. Well, we won't always talk about female friendships as well. No, that's why this podcast is about, this episode is about female friendships. Yeah. It's something that we really, really feel really passionate about.

Absolutely. Spreading the good word of the good people. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. Oh, and that's another point that we should highlight. Address. Thank you. What's that?

That this podcast is going to be centred around voice notes voice notes from you guys listeners the galleys

the galleys we wouldn't be here without you we love you we want you to feel like you're on this journey with us and be such an

integral part of this podcast that basically you are the fucking podcast yeah basically we're lazy and you've got

the best content so we're going to rack them up we basically had no other ideas so we just sort of let them do it for us. But also, our DMs are popping. No, it's... They're juicy.

Isn't it just? They're exciting. The stories, my God, it's just unfair not to share that with the general public. I know, and sometimes we read them and we're like, oh my God, people have to see this. Yeah. That's what the point of this whole podcast is for. Yeah. Yeah.

Shall we get into it? Let's do it, babe. Okay, first voice note then, Lara. We're ready. Hi, galleys. Long time watcher here. is for yeah yeah should we get into it let's do it babe okay first first voice note then lara we're ready hi galleys long time watcher here um i'd like some advice on feeling alone in your female friendships particularly in your early 20s feeling like you don't have your one solid person that you can always go to and everyone else has got theirs and you're just kind of floating alone love you well so what's this girl's name so each week for the voice notes we're going to use a

galley name this week all the voice notes are from olivia because there were so many olivias oh my god olivia's everywhere sorry i know that that like it's a lovely name but like that was an advert for me never to like meet anyone why were there so many Olivias there? I like it. It's a good name. And everyone's like, ask Olivia. And I'm like, which one? Olivia is a tricky one. Is it always a Liv to shorten to?

Sorry? Olive? Liv? Liv. Livia? Livy? Yeah, maybe it's Olivia. Liv, whatever.

Anyway, this is Olivia 1. Olivia 1. So she's alone and she's feeling, what did she say? You wrote something down and I didn't do any of that. See what I mean? Teacher's pet and all that. Have you got your whiteboard? Yes, babe, I've got it here,

but I'm actually just being in the moment and listening for real. But do you remember what she said? She said, I feel alone. She said, I'm feeling alone and I feel like everyone's got their friends and I don't have that. Yeah, about having like your one person.

I think it comes down to what you said about like you always think that people have something that they don't necessarily have. Yeah. Like even having one person, that's not, if I just had Al in my life, amazing, I'd be so grateful and lucky,

but then it wouldn't work. I wouldn't get everything I needed from one person. And I think we're like just shown all the time, like groups of gals having a good time out and about and like best friends and this is the era of female friendships and even us calling this podcast episode just to like contradict ourselves it is like basically it's something to like admire and to aspire to but it's not something that is like easily found or guaranteed it can be really hard to find your people also i think everyone has this

idea i don't know where we've all got this idea that everyone needs to have that one friend that they do everything with and they go to brunch or then they go out with and they call like every minute of the day and i think i think that people look at us and think that we do that we do that because we work together yeah and like you might be looking at everyone else having that, but they might be actually hating each other and bitching about each other. What you see is not what's always real to point to what you've said. And I say this, like, I would say this about friends. And I would say this about partners to one person should never give you everything because otherwise, because otherwise, if that person lets you down, your whole world crumbles. Yeah. And like, you need to be able to rely on other people for different things.

And I always say this, sometimes you have friends that are like, you know, the people that you call when you're up shit's creek with no paddle. Or sometimes you have the friends that are like the best fun on a night out. And they don't have to be the same person. No, well, often they're not. Yeah. Also, like you said about, you know, you don't always get deep friendships. Like sometimes it's not even that you're bitching about each other or you're not actually good friends.

It's just that you're a bit surface level. And like, that's okay. Like sometimes you have like work friends, for example. Yeah. You don't necessarily want to hang out. That's a really good example. With your work friends all the time, but you love them at work. And they're all circumstantial.

We talk about this all the time about like having circumstantial friends and like you know finishing uni and feeling like oh i didn't take a group of girls with me it doesn't it i do really believe god sorry my phone's not on do not disturb babe oh my god what kind of professionalism is this i don't know that i am very professional actually i stand by that yeah i can clearly see that sorry about that it was just no one else no one else messages me my My DMs are so dry. Well, they're not. They are. Babe, that's a topic for a bit.

For the mandem, no one's there. It's horrible. Babe, don't lie. In my DMs. Oh, that is fake news. Get in my DMs now and tell me one boy

that's messaged me. Not one. Really? Tumbleweed. Oh, yeah. She was going to message, what's his name? Or from one day.

Guys, I'm genuinely... No, she's waiting to get to 10K to message, what's his name off on one day? Guys, I'm genuinely... No, she's waiting to get to 10k on Instagram. What's his name? Leo something? She's waiting to get to 10k on Instagram. Does anyone know his name? What's his name? Leo Woodle.

Leo Woodle! So she's waiting to get to 10k so she can get a blue tick and then slide into Leo Woodle's team. It's the truth. It's the God on us and I'm just shameless. At Leo Woodle, you'll never hear this. Or maybe you will

but look out for it it's just so fair you better be checking your DM requests every single god damn day every god damn day okay advice for if you really are feeling like

you're floating alone like where can you go what can you do like how are we finding why do we do that thing with your like shoulder I don't know

I'm just like giving a little je ne sais quoi just like probably a nervous twitch that you've just outed me of advice okay so i would say people ask this one time the biggest advice i would give is especially when you like i think at school and

at uni you can feel you can find people even if they're not your forever people they're people that you can like get through three years do you know what i mean yeah and sometimes you need that that's the circumstantial people and you just make that work but I think when you get a bit older and especially if you live in a city like I know London for a lot of people can feel really lonely yeah I think the biggest piece of advice I would give is first of all go and do things that are like out of your comfort zone to do on your own yeah like go to places go to places where you know that like single like not single people but like people hang out like coffee shops or like there are always those like mixers or whatever

you know like even like you recently started bar like if there was a girl next to you it was your age you know your maths are quite close you could be like hi babe where are you from and by the way lots of people do that lots of girls and they chat in the gyms lots of girls now are like oh yeah we met in the gym like go and do things like there are things that you might do every day for example that you think oh i would never meet friends there you never know you never know open yourself up to you we always say this about like um being having a meet meet cute with a guy in a coffee shop but it's like you could do that with a friend yeah oh absolutely even more likely probably because i think like girls are like open totally and we met like that as well like we yeah we did everyone right okay we need to put this story out there for the world to hear because everyone's

always asking us the world needs to hear everyone's always asking us how did we meet and the truth of it is so we both worked at this not even we didn't even work there yet we went to an open day sorry yeah that's true. That's where we met. So we... Well, there is this community radio station in South London called Riverside

that we both wanted to get involved with and we both went to the open day and both of us now tell this story and I was like, she walked in and I literally clocked her the second that she walked in and I was like,

yep, she's cool and I want to be her friend. Can I say, this is so weird, when I try and like, I don't know whether my memory is just like crazy probably yeah but when i remember you you don't look like you no i do you have the same yes because i literally when i think of the girl i met that day it's not you now no i know so i don't know what my memory's done okay can i tell

you what that is though that's because you probably like had an idea of who I was. Yes, and now I know you. And now you know me and I don't look like that person. Yeah. Because I'm not that person to you. Isn't that strange? Funny. But the point is, the point is, go to your community radio station.

Sorry, the point is, we met at a community radio station on an open day. I actually was the brave one. We both liked each other, but I text out. Which is really unlike us. Now, I would say that normally,

actually, no, maybe not. No, you would forget no also i just say well i would just say oh will you come to me yeah you are you're so hard to get and i just don't care shameless and i messaged you yeah i was like we should go for a coffee i remember going home as well and being like to brawl oh my god there was this really cool girl and she had this machino bag i know everything you want i know you know bag trench coat what how do you remember that i just i have such a visual memory i even know what i was wearing and she had this machino bag I know everything you wore machino bag trench coat what? how do you remember that?

I can tell you what you remember I have such a visual memory I even know what I was wearing do you? yeah I was wearing that blue Zara coat that everyone's passed their pants over which one?

it's like a duvet like that bright blue one oh yeah yeah yeah and anyway and I went home and I was like she was wearing the coolest outfit

and like I just really want to be her friend and we were like oh like whatever basically like why are you telling me this anyway now look classic now he's our boyfriend rules response to everything why are you telling me this don't care if you're feeling lonely seek out like make an effort to seek out friends in places you wouldn't think to find friends yeah but also places that you know that

there's gonna be people with shared interests like you yeah yeah and also not like you actually and also you're not alone babe we're releasing content monday wednesdays and fridays these days so uh don't worry about it oh yeah you're not alone sorry i thought you i didn't know where you're going with that no i'm just saying like i know it can feel really lonely to feel like for sure everyone has their person but you don't need that one person it's what i'm trying to say you can find your people in lots of different ways and that's really bad okay i hope that helped voice no number dos i've been following you guys for a while and i absolutely love you guys so when i saw this on my field page i was like i have to so me and this girl were friends for seven plus years she

was my best friend and we this is a while ago now we started college and obviously became friends with other girls they're my closest friends now i love them to bits and we come to find out bit of drama i get a boyfriend she then resents me for getting a boyfriend because i only get similar weekends so i see her every single day that just isn't enough for her and she starts talking about me making sure that you know doing things without me and being like oh i'm doing this with everybody but you're not invited you know I'm really like just mean girl shit and then we come to find out that to each one of us she's been talking shit about the other person to everyone.

Both of those are us too. So I find this out and then one day I'm just like you know what I'm fucking done so I decided to text her saying we need to talk and then she tried to you know call victim and be like oh but you need to apologize i want you to apologize to me because i've been so worried and i was like no you're in the wrong and i got that point across and since that confrontation i have not spoken a single word to her go to the same college almost finished going to uni in september but we have not spoken a single word to one another since then and for some reason because since then I found out more things she said to me I don't know if I'm being a bit of

bitch but I just want to confront her again I don't know what it is oh and me and the other girls involved we didn't end up all getting to the kind of say our piece for this bitch that basically you know ruined any and all friendships and yeah just want to know your opinion if it should be possibility or if i should just kind of leave in the past i don't really think about her i'm over it but yeah i want to know what you guys think i love that this bitch i don't really think about it i'm over it olivia too is a legend she's so good oh my god i love you and also you and me are the same person yeah we're gonna have very different opinions all right yeah because i would just say fuck her fuck her mom and like honestly fuck her dog like what is that what a fucking cow i'm sorry i just

think okay the first thing is actually what's the main the first thing is that you have been friends for seven seven plus years and i've been through this not in the same way like i we didn't like i you know we i didn't she didn't go around bitching about me but we just sort of drifted i've had that with a lot of people actually. It's hard. Everyone fucking hates me, basically. What's the common denominator?

I don't know. Do you know someone, babe, fuck you because you're going to be next and then all of this is going to come crashing down. What are you going to do? You're going to sit here

on your own every fucking week? No, you're stuck with me. We signed a shareholders agreement. Get over it. Can't drift from me. Yeah, no,

people actually say this all the time. Like, what happens if one of you just left and i was like no you we actually can't we're actually legally married to each other it's like those couples that just stay together when they just don't live together they hate each other yeah and they just turn up at appearances they're like babe pretending they're shagging oh my god no it's heartbreaking it is heartbreaking to feel like you lost someone that was your person for so long and that you grew up with especially if you were at uni and you went to school and well also there's this weird thing isn't there where we know with relationships that to end them you have to have the conversation of a breakup whereas with like what what's funny my husky voice sounds like you've been giving

blowjobs for 12 hours straight i wish i can't find anyone to let me give them a blowjob anyone if anyone wants a blowjob we're free we are offering them freely out on this podcast no i do need to get a grip of my voice it just goes it's the first thing to go what when you put a dick in your mouth yeah it's really babe can you stop rubbing it in I'm not having any sex because it's really getting to me

babe that's actually fake news because you literally had sex two weeks ago that's once with one person that never spoke to you again doesn't really count

babe that was more recently than me and I've been with my boyfriend for seven years no it wasn't because I came over the other day and there was empty packets

I don't know what was happening in that room but something was going down that's all I'll say well it wasn't with me so I wonder who he's been having around dildo on the side sorry um me and my blowjob voice were just trying to say like she's had a conversation she's had a

confrontation but she hasn't been like i think we need to break up no and it's like you almost need that closure but you never have it i actually disagree in this situation that girl's been bitching about her but then she needs to say i'm breaking up with you i don't care about you anymore what does she say in the chat shit about me but i'm over it no but this is the thing i okay i like the fact that you confronted her because lots of people wouldn't have done that and that's a really big thing to do and also everyone just bitching about each other behind each other's backs it's like bad vibes no but that's what i mean like if she shows you her colors i've done this all my life and i've

only really like just started like in the last five years closed myself when people show you their true colors fucking believe them like you can believe and like hope for the best in people nine times out of ten if she's shown you who she is once she will do it again and no matter what to a certain extent yeah because you trust people more easily not even about trusting people but i just think like communication is a beautiful thing and if this friend felt abandoned by you because you got a boyfriend and you only spent time with your boyfriend but i would say that that's a problem why are you feeling that way babe if i suddenly fucked off and never saw you again because i was with my boyfriend all the time

you would be like babe you're not showing me any attention but i would have said something she didn't say that she just communication on her part first off well also the other person could have been like being a bit cold what's wrong because you don't realize because you're in like the love bubble with your new boyfriend and i think that's not necessarily the the you know the bitch in olivia's words um it's not necessarily her showing true colors she could still be your friend of seven years still be a good person who's hurt and acting really badly there might be a conversation to be had yes she doesn't sound like it went well she might be that person but she might not and that's what i'm trying to say is that obviously best case

scenario is you go and you say that worst case scenario is she's like you know you do she doesn't see that I think she might sit down and say oh but you you know like you only see your boyfriend and you have to kind of you know that's a part of growing up when you start when your friends start to get in relationships of like navigating the new normal of your new friend like the new situation and circumstances of your friendship yeah it's all communication but sadly lots of people like don't want to have that conversation they don't want to hear it they just want to like they just want to have what they've always had with you yeah you know but even the girl with the boyfriend it's really hard because it's like well i want to see him at the weekend so then

that's a horrible conversation to have like yes it's a horrible conversation to have and i agree obviously if you fucked off and i never saw you i would be like well what the fuck but i do think you have to give your friends a bit of grace for sure and like you know especially as you grow up yeah life gets busy and everyone's just like figuring it out for themselves yeah and we really forget that people are just you know you feel like you need that person but they might feel like they need to find out who they are in this relationship more importantly right now doesn't mean it's forever i mean moral of the story girls you've got to talk to each other not behind each other's back yeah don't it's not a vibe but also if you don't if you're genuinely not thinking about her or maybe you're just saying that like me and i'm like i don't fucking care

and i really deeply care it's like a fucking stab in my heart sobbing myself to sleep i don't care about that bitch i don't fucking care oh my god whatever i just don't care um if you're if you are actually feeling though like you don't care then just don't care and move on with your life yeah maybe you don't need the breakup maybe you don't need to say we're over only if you want to salvage your relationship do you need to have a conversation if you couldn't give a fuck about her or her dog then who cares yeah and also don't go back just to be like you're a bitch like just let her be a bitch not your battle to fight you know if she wants to be a cow let her be a cow i would say the opposite well you'd want to tell her i would say listen you little bitchy cow you'd go for the double i wasn't enough i would do both you're a bitch who the fuck do

you think you are walking around talking about me like that get my name out your mouth yeah take my fucking name out your fucking mouth isn't that what will smith said take my wife's name out your fucking mouth sorry that is the best moment to have ever happened i mean not really because he did slap chris rock in front of it was a joke well chris rock didn't seem to think it was very fucking funny do you think it was a scare no babe to this day i think it's a joke no babe a bit of improv are you joking chris rock went out and was like i what i honestly thought he was gonna like knock me yeah i mean that was wild that was wild don't do that we don't condone violence no no definitely don't do that but do you got you know i you can say your piece yeah oh yeah listen you can say

your peace girls talking about this in therapy yesterday oh go on about like how i can't do that i can't just walk away oh i was gonna say you can't say your piece no no no i can't walk away and just like let things lie and he was like why do you feel the need to do that because you want the last word yeah and i have to feel like you have to know how fucked off i am with you i can't just let no don't worry but you know what i mean like in that situation i'm not saying it's the best but if you are that way inclined and you are a kindred soul with me olivia number two please go out and do god's work for us and just say how you feel yeah here we're out now you feel make this autumn the tastiest season yet with farm fresh produce and easy autumn inspired recipes delivered right to your door with HelloFresh.

Whip up tasty restaurant style meals in your own kitchen without the high price tag of takeout and in less time than it takes to get delivery. Babe, honestly, HelloFresh has saved me so many times and now my in-laws think I can actually cook even though all I've done is followed the recipe and had the ingredients delivered to my door. But babe you are cooking it's absolutely genius and also it's not like you're going to be stuck doing one recipe that you're good at because there's variety from HelloFresh. There's so much choice. Come on you can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com slash free Ali G applied across seven boxes. New subscribers only varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to HelloFresh.com slash free Ali G.

You're welcome. Hi, here's my female friendship dilemma. So last year, me and my friends were planning a girl's holiday for the summer. One of my friends, let's call her girl A, has a holiday house, so we decided we could go there. A few months later, I got a message from her about flight prices. She said that it would be £800 for an hour and a half flight. And then she said she hadn't heard back from anyone else because it was probably too expensive. So I told her just to keep me updated, just so I can know what everyone else is thinking before I make a decision. I then heard nothing back from her so I just presumed it wasn't going to happen because of the price. A few months later something caught my eye on my other friend's phone when she was showing me a picture. It was a group chat called

holiday 2023. I thought nothing of it at the time because why would they go on holiday without someone after inviting them? So I just ignored it. I presumed I was overthinking. Then in June, so the previous night I'd left my stuff at girl A's house, and then I wasn't feeling well the next day so she offered to drop it round for me in the morning. When she dropped it round, she then told me she was sorry about the whole France thing, but her mum has fucked it up, and then she said some confusing stuff about her mum not going so that then they were going with her grandparents. I presume that meant there were too many people going so they had to lose someone.

I was in kind of shock, and I don't like conversations so I didn't do anything at the time, so we just said bye and then she left. A few days later i saw the post from this holiday in the pictures it was the group that we'd originally planned the holiday with but with someone else there instead of me so like i said i don't like competition so i never brought up after that either but recently she's been organizing a lot of other meetups without me but with all of our friends i don't know i don't know what to do about this because on top of everything we go to a really small college so there's not really space to make new friends outside of your initial group what's your view on the situation i'd love to know

your opinion thanks bye babe ditch her like a fucking hot potato that's my advice olivia three is literally me i don't like she said i don't like confrontation 55 times can't even confront the fact that she doesn't like confrontation i can't even think about that conversation i would die really i mean not now I'm older, but like... Now she's a pensioner, she would do it. Yeah, like now I'm 85, I could probably do it. And like face for the Botox, you know what I mean? Now she would.

Oh, there's so much to unpacking that. No, and babe, the good thing about the Botox, by the way... Oh, unpacking the Botox? No. Oh, in the voice note? Sure. I was just going to say, confrontation. They won't know if you're crying because your face won't move.

My face, my Botox is just like honestly drained from me. It lasts about five minutes. I know. It's because I do so much cardio. God, that's bad. Do you know what? This, I'm kind of like in a juxtaposition as well because I want... You're in a juxtaposition now.

Yeah, well, I just want this episode. Like, I feel like some of my female friendships have honestly like healed me from the outside in. Like, I gain so me from the outside in like i gain so much from the really good friends in my life yeah but when it goes wrong my god it is like painful but on that actually being left out like that is the most hurtful thing in the world that's happened exact situation holiday the holiday well yeah two holidays actually that exact same we were on a group chat the four of us and then i went away and then didn't hear from them for like two months not quite the same because i hadn't been asked but then like july comes around and i see them all on a yacht and then

like in all not a yacht on a yacht oh my god damn you're you didn't miss out can you imagine the fucking instagram pictures i could have got there jesus christ for you man but it is like the number one thing that you feel is you feel like there's something wrong with me so the thing is and that's what i just want to say is i know it's there's nothing wrong with it's a weird thing that happens like so many girls have this of a time in their life where they can go yeah i just got excluded from a group and no one knows why yeah it's bizarre i just really really really want to make sure that you can hear us loud and clear when we say it is not about you yeah it's about something in them and i still think this about that group of girls about myself something in them makes sorry something in you makes them not feel good about themselves when you're around and so

they cannot have you around them it's an insecurity in them that you bring up in them and so when they're around you they feel like a shit aversion of themselves it's not a hundred percent i suppose there's like some elements of that i just wonder whether sometimes it's just like for the sake of it no because genuinely i think some people just decide one day not to like person b for no reason no but it's not for no reason it's something inside them has decided that there's something about that about you that they don't yeah yeah yeah it's not for no reason that's my point but it's not because you're a bitch or you're a bad person you're a shit friend or any of that or you're boring or like any of it it's just but also even if they

find you boring then they're not your people and i like that's fine like if they find you boring if they find you too loud too jarring not funny enough like whatever it is okay like that i think as well like what you said about the female friendships in your life have enriched you a hundred percent but we always say this we would rather be like alone than surrounded by shit friends handful we say handful all the time no max and like that's on one hand one hand if you can if you can have a birthday dinner and sit around a table with like eight people and you can count you can say with confidence that you love and trust every single one of those people they bury a body with you yeah then like you're luckier than most people because most people don't have

that many good friends yeah you can't have more than one so like i just four five i don't know how many do you have people i could bury a body with i reckon i've got four no i'd say really yeah the body thing through makes i've got some dark ones in there, some dark horses that would be really good at that. I know, Raw doesn't really count, but then I guess he's two. You're allowed to say Raw's your best friend. I know he's not a female, but he is.

Probably then I've got three, maybe four. Was either maybe. But the point is that it doesn't, if you, what was my point? What is the point? What was my point what is the point what was my point wait sorry go back to what you just said i was gonna say something really profound god damn it why does it have been that profound if you lost it so easily sometimes this happens babe um what would i do in that situation i would i would just like drift away and never see you again thank you

very much you should get through college get your head down and then make some good friends at uni no but you should okay no but you should say something i would say guys it was a bit rogue that you it was more than a bit rogue rude rogue rude um i'm a people pleaser i don't know let's practice what you she will do the practicing because she is actually a people pleaser she can't do confrontations so as someone in that ilk what should what like use your strength babe we talked about this last week. Come on. Okay, I've got my power. Wait a minute. Come on, get your power. I was really hurt by the fact that you invited me on a holiday,

and then you didn't even tell me I was uninvited. You just made up the fact that Skyscanner had had a stroke and made flights five times. 800 pounds to France. What? The cost doesn't count. And actually, I didn't want to come on your holiday anyway. Look, shit. And I don't want to be a friend anymore. So, I didn't want to come on your holiday anyway. Look, shit.

And I don't want to be a friend anymore. So, goodbye. Baby, you would never say that. Maybe I would. Maybe I'm in, like, my strong gut here. I don't know. Do it. Please do it.

Because, like, you owe yourself at least that. Do you know what? That has been the message of all three of those voice notes is that you have just got to know what a good friend is to you and then just have them just have them just have them i say this about friendships as much as i say this about

relationships you know when you just know yeah you know when you just know that someone's good for you they get it or someone's bad for you and like if you're constantly coming up against these sorts of things with your friends they're not a good person it's like being gluten intolerant and eating gluten yeah oh my god don't i know it you're gonna get bloated i know and last night i was forced to have a burger you picked it first i'd have had the caesar salad i don't know what to tell you uh okay can we do a little round up okay go on then you lead i'll follow babe okay olivia one floating alone it's really easy to... That's really good advice, guys. No, no, she's about to come with something really good.

Come on, babe, push it out. It's really easy to say, find your tribe, look for your people, be patient. Feeling alone is really difficult. So I think don't underestimate how hard that is and don't let us trivialise that for you. But at the same time, not everyone has perfect friendships and it takes a lot of time

to find your people. Yeah. It takes teething, it takes experiences. And also, some people find their perfect friendships in their 30s and their 40s.

Yeah, years later. NCT, I'm praying for. My mum, her only friends now are people that she met after she had us. Really? She doesn't really have,

well, also she moved countries literally across the world. That's hard. But like, she doesn't really have well also she moved countries literally across the world but like she doesn't have really anyone in her life like not close who was with her who knew her when she was 21 for sure yeah it takes time do you know what i mean so i think it is so soul-crushing and it feels like impossible you're the only person in the world that feels alone but actually so many people feel alone and yeah you just might you know you might be surprised you might walk in and someone might be like oh my god i just moved here you never know olivia number two oh she's my favorite you're my you're a legend you're my star star of the week because you went that bitch that bitch i'm over it but

that bitch we didn't even get her name, God love her. You fucking tell her. If you feel like you need to have the conversation, have the conversation again. If not, just leave it. Bygones be bygones, I reckon. No, well, my advice is of the opposite. Babe, what did your therapist say, real? He doesn't advise you, babe.

Oh, yeah. What do you pay him for? Because the whole point is that you're supposed to question it yourself. Don't get it. They're not like a life coach. He's not there to tell you. Don't get me started on life coaches. I really actually, I don't, like they're not like a life coach he's not there to tell you get me started on life coaches i really actually i don't like not believe in a lot i really don't believe in life coach so i'm not seeing a life coach really what i'm trying to say is if it's

going to help you to move on do it if it's not the conversation yeah because for me i that's what i'm saying i it helps me to do that even if it helps no one else on planet Earth. At least I did it for myself. I don't know. That's a healthy way to communicate, but we'll see. Let us know. No, but babe,

if someone mistreats me, I need to let them know for myself that you've really fucked me over and I do not stand for that behaviour in my life. As you should. You tell them. Right. Write a letter.

Go forth and multiply. Exactly. And Olivia number three was really left out. by her £800. Exactly. And Olivia, number three, was really left out. by her £800 flight. I mean, first of all, lucky you didn't get to pay the £800 anyway.

It's really hard to feel left out, but they're not your people. And when you find your people, you will know and you will never once question that you belong with them and that they are your friends for life. This is the thing, babe.

This is the moral of this podcast, like, this episode, that there's no point having shit friends sorry no they're literally pointless they're actually pointless i'd rather be alone than have shit friends we laugh now when you get serious you're so fucking like this is the whole point of this podcast oh my god laura's telling us to get out of here sorry can i just say thank you so much for those voicemails absolutely love them keep them coming we'll have so many more

episodes on female friendships because I know that people like really really but if that triggered something in you and you've got more questions just send them in the number will be

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