Leave A Message with Ally & G - 10 - Getting It Off Our Chest: A Mixed Bag of Dilemmas

Episode Date: May 8, 2024

We're back with a pick and mix of submissions from the Gallies... and it is a particularly juicy episode of Leave A Message! From a wine night amongst friends gone wrong through to remembering nothing after a night out, friendship break-ups and secret dates... the big question on all of our minds is: when is sleeping with your friends sibling EVER the move!? Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I must tell you about what happened to me this morning. Oh, please. So, it's not even that interesting, but I'm having a battle at the moment. You know in rented property, where there's just things that don't make sense, and if it was your house, you'd just rip it out and start again and there's a lot of that in my flat. Right. Basically, you know my bathroom sink?

It's a cupboard underneath it where we keep all of our bits. It's a built-in cupboard. Yeah, cosmetic bits. It's attached to the wall and the sink's on top of it. Yes. Anyway, the cupboard shelf does not go to the back of the wall. They've just decided to have a little gap where things can fall down. Stupid.

Stupid. Look at my arm. Look at this. Oh dear. Because down there is my smoothing coat, my brush. Oh, you found it! No, babe. I haven't found it, have I?

Because it's down the back and I can't get it because my arm's too fat and I can't get down there. It's too fat and I can't get down there it's an absolute nightmare oh dear I've had a battle you know when you're getting all hot and sweaty and you've got it in your mind

that you need to do it before you leave the house then I had about five seconds then I get like cross and I start like getting like really stroppy with everything I know I nearly got a hammer

to the thing I really nearly just ripped the whole thing apart so is it definitely down there yeah it's down there I felt the top of it my fingers were long enough to fiddle it and I thought there it is oh when you've, it's down there. I felt the top of it. My fingers were long enough to fiddle it

and I thought, there it is. Oh, when you've got it, baby, you've got to get some nails because you could have just pinched the bristle and then... I know.

Maybe you could come and try. Or get the hoover down the back. Oh, interesting. I haven't really got a hose on the old cordless Dyson. Oh. Also, if anyone's knowing where to get a good pair

of grey leggings... Sorry, we've just got a lot of things we'd where to get a good pair of gray leggings so just sorry we've just got a lot of things we'd like to get off our chest um i'm in the market for a new pair of gray leggings because i went to look at my 300 pairs this morning and i thought i've got 50 i've got 299 pairs of black leggings and i haven't i've only got one gray so i must get another i must disclose some information about alimax life when you you open her drawers, like, it is mind-blowing. It's a shop. No, no, no. It's a full-on boutique in there. No, but it's like United Colours

of Benetton or whatever it's called. Everything's in rows. Everything is colour coordinated. God love Rory's got a rail. Bless him. That's all he gets. Well, I've said to him, let's change that because I think he could do with two rails. One on top and one above because his shit's everywhere

and the other day he asked babe that is rich that is rich coming from you awful yeah no I do have a lot of stuff

but like okay did anyone ever watch did you ever watch Marie Kondo yes when she said like decluttering brings you joy yes

I think that's bullshit stuff brings me joy no no babe opening those cupboards and thinking I've got so much choice I've still got nothing to wear Yes. I think that's bullshit. Stuff brings me joy. No. No, babe. Babe, opening those cupboards and thinking I've got so much choice, I've still got nothing to wear. Yeah, that's the problem.

But if I really needed something, I would have it in here. The problem is you've got 55 of the same thing. Well, babe, listen, I don't want to hear you complaining. No. Every time she needs something, even if I'm not... You could have five black little black tops did you need 10 or 25 i went through them the other day for god's sake they're all the same you didn't seem to be fucking complaining i'm not complaining about the one the two three market for a little

date night top oh can i come around babe oh yeah bring holly my mom and my dad as well will i my dad's not finding anything in your wardrobe can you imagine oh my god little green top crop top those big those big pink fluffy ball dresses um hello welcome to leave a message welcome to leave a message sorry we just this we've just um well we haven't spoken this morning yeah this is what's happening now we don't speak unless we're working because you've got to save some things to say you've got to save the good stuff like where to get a gray legging and how to get your bristle brush out the back of your bathroom cabinet.

Do anything for that bristle brush. Babe, no. I like 10 quid. I can buy another. They're not 10 quid, babe. They're about 2.99. No, they're not the good ones. I'm sorry.

I will challenge you on that. My Lee Stafford one was not. It was about a tenner. Lee Stafford, yeah. And it's very effective. Babe, why do you go on Instagram? Look how wispy I am. Why do you ask him

for a hashtag gifting? I've got a spare one. Come on. Is it the little thin one? Well, mine was actually quite thick. It was quite wide, which I enjoyed

for a whole scraped back pony. No, I can't provide you that. Apparently it's really bad for your hair anyway, so maybe I'll let it lie. Oh, well. Oh, well.

Listen, welcome to Leave a Message. Happy, what day does this go out? Wednesday. Hump Day, baby. Happy Hump Day. I don't understand that Hump Day thing. What is that?

It's the hump of the week. It drives me nuts. You have to get up to Wednesday and then it's all downhill from there. Hump Day. Isn't that right, Rihanna? Is that real? She's Googling it.

She's Googling it. She's Googling it. I find it jarring when people put that on their Instagram. I just think, what do you mean happy Hump Day? I don't find it jarring at all. I find it jarring when people put that on their Instagram I just think what do you mean happy hump day I don't find it jarring at all I find it quite jolly it's like oh yeah we've done it oh yeah

get up that hill baby yeah it's based on a camel's hump and how yeah it's based on a camel's hump the camel's hump it's getting up to the top and then it's coming back down because everyone knows thursday's friday now babe everyone knows

that i'm not gonna lie to you that was not the most helpful interjection of all time the camel's hump yeah like cool thanks so much so sorry no i i think that's good it's the hump of the week camel's hump you get over that and then you're on to the good times. Let the good times roll. Okay. So that's a good indication of this podcast. You've listened to this and then you know you're almost at the weekend.

Hell yeah. And also this week, we're having a bit of a pick and mix situation. Yeah, really good. Because we did ask the galleys to send us a voice note when they're out and about and they have done so.

So we can't be picking and choosing what topics we want here and there if they're just going to dump us. The thing is, we can't be limiting and choosing what topics we want here and there if they're just going to dump us the thing is we can't be limiting you to very specific can't be boxing them yeah all the time they're free spirits these girls exactly and sometimes the topics need to topic themselves do you know what i mean time for voice note number one short sorry wait sorry welcome to leave a message this is the podcast by the gall Gallies for The Gallies. We open up the voice note chat every week.

You send us your dilemmas. Don't sound bored when you're saying it. I'm not sounding bored. I'm sounding rushed because Rahana's on my back. Okay, go on. Voice note number one. Sorry, what are The Gallies' names? Oh, good point.

Is it my turn? Yeah, I thought we were going to do Richard. Oh, yeah, it's Rich. Basically, we've taken our relationship with our editor, Rich, to a whole new level. He slid in our DMs. I'm over the moon about it. He sent us the most hilarious message.

He called us silly bitches, and I thought, you know what, Rich? You're one of us now. I'm really into that. Welcome to the family, Rich. Come on, Rich. So now the galleys are called Richard this week because it's an ode to Richard, our editor, who we love.

Hi, girls. I have been listening to you guys for ages. I'm such a big fan. So I've been keeping this secret for months. I have no idea what I'm supposed to do or, like, who do I tell. So my best friend and I are like ride or die. She is my other half and she has an older brother who I'm also friends with but at the time wasn't too close with him because he'd just come home from being at uni and so I was like still getting to know him and one night

we had a wine night with some of our friends and my best friend wasn't there she was away that week so it was just her brother and I and some of the friends and then we decided we were gonna go out and so in the club and I ended up kissing one of his friends and like didn't really think much about it like it was it happened and then and then my best friend's brother asked if I was gonna stay at their parents house or if I was gonna go back to my house that I share with his sister. And I don't know how we both seemed to think it was a good idea that I ended up back at his, with his parents. Him and I sat in the kitchen talking like we always do. And then he like

moved to sit next to me. And I was I was like oh this is a bit weird and he put his hand on my leg and I was like okay um and so we were chatting and then he just like looked at me and I feel like you guys will understand that like look that a man gives you and before I knew it he was kissing me and um it happened a few times that night and like we never really addressed it. And then there were certain times where like, like after that where we would hook up and no one would know and no one knows to this day. It's been like six months and yeah.

So that is my wild secret that no one knows. Very good. Babe, you're talking to the right person when it comes to your friends and brother. I knew Ali was going to rat me out for this. Babe, we can't sit on this podcast and say we're going to be real. Ain't that the truth? And not tell everyone.

And do you know what, hun? I'm here to make you feel better because I went one step further. She did say hook up. So it is quite possible that she did slip and fall on his dick and she just doesn't want to say it in words. You're right. You're right.

Because what does that mean? She's South African. I sent a South African accent. I was going to say, we've made it to the Southern Hemisphere. Well, I was more thinking, yes, exciting, but I was more thinking,

you know, what does hook up mean in South Africa? Well, someone could, could we get on Google? Can we get on Urban Dictionary in South Africa and find out what hookup means? Because it's very... I think I would put a hundred quid on the fact that they've shagged at least once if not Blosser. Okay, so

here's my advice to you from a girl who knows. Who's gone all the way. I shagged my best friend's brother. Everyone knows this i've haven't kept it a secret the friend knows so it's not a secret she knows she'll be listening to this that was a decade ago nah come on i wasn't that young no you probably were yeah about 17 um i am still paying for that mistake so if i can give you one piece of advice, I would take that to the grave.

I would look that brother in the eye and I would say, listen, mate, if you ever tell your sister what we got up to in that bedroom and the moves I did, I will never speak to you. I will kill you.

I'll kill you. It'll be death. Because honestly, it's been like the biggest headache probably of my adult life. That could have been easily avoided. That could have been avoided either by not falling on his dick and not shagging my best friend's brother

or by telling no one. Right, listen. I understand that when you have a friend with a brother and you're sort of in their vicinity all the time, you think, oh. Especially when you're young and they're older. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come on.

They are sexy, but there are like how many million people in South Africa or wherever you live. Yes. Find any one of those million people. Find anyone else. I would highly recommend because it hasn't even come between me and my friend actually. At the time it did,

she was awfully cross at me, which is, you know, fair. Oh, she was awfully cross. She shouted at me. She shouted. As she should be. She's not really a shouter, but she screamed at me.

She was like, how could you? I mean, I don't have a brother, so, well, I do have a brother, but he's younger than me.

I don't know. If my friend shagged my sister, I don't think. Jack shags your sister? Yeah. I think it, listen,

it's not ideal. It's not, you know, sit around the dinner table, happy-go-lucky. But it's kind of half, like, we used to speak about this. Once she got over it, we used to be like, oh my God, but that's what you dream of.

Like, I'll be your actual sister if I marry him. I think it would be fun. Like, imagine if you shag Jack. I know you're not my actual sister, but you're as close as. Yeah. Kind of fun. So, yes. And I don't know.

If it all goes well, fairytale ending, because this is where it's gone sticky for me. But babe, this was out of your control. Well, not really. His now wife fucking hates me. Like, if she could... Oh, she needs to go to therapy, because that was 10 years ago, man.

I think if she could hire someone to kill me, she would. Oh, is that... Yeah, she hates me. Like... Yeah, no, like, she will get excluded from family events, from their family, because she'll be there. Oh, I can't be Yeah, she hates me. Yeah, no, like, she will get excluded from family events, from their family, because she'll be there.

Oh, I can't be in the vicinity. I must leave. If I'm there, and she's coming, I must evacuate the dance floor. I cannot be there. No, but can I tell you, that's not a you thing,

that's a her thing. I don't, you know, I don't want to, like, you know, put it on her, but it is her problem. I remember once we were at this house party at Faye's sister's um

house and she was there and we were both there i'd had a drink i was feeling a bit gobby and um i said come on sandra shall we make up shall we just be friends like come on a lot had happened up to this point with her hatred you went up to her and you said that yeah and she said no no she she explained her woes and her worries which she'd done millions of times before over message very nastily and i had basically just been like listen i don't want i don't want him like you know you're welcome to him i'm fine i was 17 when i shagged him and it was kind of a joke so don't worry about it i think it was his virginity the wind just sort of blew me onto a dick.

Yeah, it was just bad. Anyway, we made up at this party. It was amazing. I was like, oh my God, she gets it. Anyway, the brother, Brandon, then comes over and I make a joke. I go, oh, Brandon, looks like we can be mates now. Your missus is on board.

Oh dear, bad. Not a good joke. She then, their hatred went to a new level. Hasn't looked me in the eye since if I've ever been in the same room as her. Hates me. Okay, I think yours is a really, because I mean, you know,

most people hopefully won't have that exact scenario where the new wife girlfriend is like a psycho bitch. I'm sorry. Not my words. i didn't say it but i would say if you feel like it's gonna be a bit of a gag and you can either all laugh and ha ha about it it's a risk but it's like you and gluten is it worth it i don't know i don't know. I don't know. Is she going to shit herself?

Is she going to make it to the loo? No one knows. No one knows. And is, like, yesterday, that sandwich you put in your mouth wasn't worth it? No, that definitely wasn't worth it. Yeah, so it's got to...

That's the thing. How fits the brother? But... Do you know what I mean? Also, how, like, lol is your friend? Yeah. Because, like, if... Because if it's a shit shag and your friend's got a bad sense of humour, it's not worth it. Then it's not worth it. But then if it's also, like, lol is your friend? Yeah. Because, like, if... Because if it's a shit shag

and your friend's got a bad sense of humour, it's not worth it. But then if it's also, like, you don't want to, like, have that awkward thing for the rest of your whole life to stand there on your wedding day and you've shagged her brother, like, I would actually recommend Truth.

Do you? But... Oh, you're so good at Truth, though. I just think avoidance. No. Because I just think, listen, yeah I just think listen yeah I did do we were talking about this last night

in Soho House about how were we in Soho House last night no we weren't no the other night on Friday Saturday night

wasn't me last night about how like when I know I've done something bad I know yes like in that scenario I know I fucked up

I shouldn't have done it yeah it was probably avoidable but I have done it so, I know. Yes. Like, in that scenario, I know I fucked up. I shouldn't have done it. Yeah, it was probably avoidable. But I have done it. So, like, now I'm just, you know, it's what it is in her words. So, actually, he's done it. And it's his little sister. Yeah.

Yeah. Come on. Blame the man. When he looks at you in that way and you know and you think, well, I'm helpless now. Yeah. He's given me the eyes.

What am I to do? What's a girl to do? Damsel in distress. Snog away. Oh, well, I'm helpless now. Yeah. He's given me the eyes. What am I to do? What's a girl to do? Damsel in distress, snog away. Oh, go on, finger me then. Put it in. By then it's too late. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

By then it's a lost cause. You might as well be writing your WhatsApp message to your best mate while he's in you. You don't need to be doing that. I just think honesty is the best policy in most scenarios. Don't get me wrong. I'm the master of deceit and lies. If I need to be.

That's good to know. But like basically weigh up if it's going to save, if it's worth it to save your friendship lie. If it's a lol, tell her. You'll be over it in six months anyway. That is true. Especially when you're young. You fight and you make up

and you fight about boys and like who really cares. Yeah, I think that is, that's true. I think you will get over it. My situation is different. But I know yours is. That's what I'm saying. You hope and pray they will get over it

and everyone will just find it a funny story. Ha ha. To tell at the wedding. Ha ha. Make this autumn the tastiest season yet with farm fresh produce and easy autumn inspired recipes delivered right to your door with HelloFresh. Whip up tasty restaurant style meals in your own kitchen

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On to Richard number two. Richard number two. Richard number two, yes. Hey guys, first of all, love the podcast. Literally my favorite thing to listen to each week. So I have a crazy night out story, which looking back on it now is kind of wild. Back in my first year of university, me and a bunch of my mates went out to a new opening of a club. We went it was super super busy and loud. My friends and I ended up right at the front where the speakers were and by the end of the night we literally couldn't hear a thing. Anyway we got our post club cheesy chips obviously and made our way back to our accommodation. Me and one of my friends started running back drunkenly as you do and out of blue, I collapsed. My friend who was still running didn't realize until she turned back

to see that I was on the floor having a seizure. I do have epilepsy, but that was super, super out of the blue. I was unconscious and unresponsive. However, I could literally hear everything that was going on, which is strange. Like I could hear my group of friends talking around me and checking if I was okay. I could hear one of my best friends crying. Bless her, it was literally her first time clubbing too. Anyway, my friends called an ambulance as I was still unresponsive. And even when the ambulance did turn up, the paramedics couldn't wake me up. So I ended up being taken to the hospital alone. Next thing I know, I wake up in a hospital bed at half five in the morning with nurses looking over me. I told the nurses I was feeling a lot better and had to go back to my accommodation as I had classes in the morning. They let me go but

I had to call a taxi as I had no other way of getting back. Bear in mind I was still wearing my clubbing outfit which was locally kind of humbling. Anyway I got to my accommodation and my two best friends said I should stay at theirs so I did but one of them made me sleep on the floor rather than sharing a bed which looking back on it now is so funny because I literally had a seizure but we still laugh about it today I wake up in the morning and as a first year you need to try hard I go back to my flat to get changed and walk to my 9am as if nothing ever happened this hasn't happened since but honestly thinking about it it was a crazy night out not just for me but also my friends sorry for the ramble but it is too chaotic not to share sorry i must say

richard too really well done rahana i think she took your notes i think did she write that down first and then read it very clearly she's got that on her notes up that was really good and rahana that was because of you well done very good very well delivered um okay well first of all i hope you're okay have you ever fainted or passed out in a public place i'm just trying to think i don't think i have never have i ever oh i passed out in loads of places what do you mean well you know forming over the lee pass out for a couple of seconds blackout dude there have been times really pass out babe i used to go to some quite dark places on a night out.

Wild. I don't know. I think I've really had a brand shift because... Yeah, you really have. If you'd met me at 19, 20, 21, I was really, you know, I did dabble in the extracurricular activities.

Yeah, you're an extracurricular girlie. Like, quite big time. I was in motion at 5am. Yeah, I mean, you and I both. I mean, you can't go to Bristol and not get involved. Do you know what I mean? And sometimes it takes you to places you don't really want to go. Now I'm sort of, you know,

don't even like leave the house after 10 o'clock. What was your late night food order when you were getting home from a night out? I was just about to ask you this. It's got to be cheesy chips and mayo, no ketchup. Yeah, I would either do that. Very Belgian, actually, that. Really? Do you know that? Yeah. Or I would would do i'd get beans on chips after a night out how crazy is that really like heinz beans

that's wild oh i wouldn't mind in newcastle used to be able to get a pot of gravy they wouldn't put the gravy on the chair the pot on the side yeah really good actually now oh my god babe there's this club in newcastle called tupped up i. I didn't go to Newcastle, but we went to Newcastle. So I spent a lot of my uni life in Newcastle. There's this club called Tup Tup where all the- Tup Tup. Tup Tup. Yeah.

Where all the Geordie Shore lot used to go. And like, you would turn around and it'd be like Charlotte. Like, and they went up. But guys, if you think like you get bladdered. They get bladdered. They are honestly on a different planet. She was queen of bladder really and then they're like passed out outside the chip van and i did think where are

the paps guys you're missing gold you should have got involved oh it was that was the blackberry oh no it wasn't even the blackberry era what was no you must have had an iphone yeah yeah i definitely had an iphone yeah yeah i had an iphone what was i doing how old are you marginale's been lying this whole time she's 30 i had a blackberry at 14 and i remember my mum coming to drop it off at school my fresh shiny blackberry and i was like the first person to get it and everyone kind of was like oh let's see the new keyboard and now they're bust blackberry's bust sorry that's not the point the story's no longer yeah no longer sorry yeah that's not the point of the story because it is actually you know those

times where it's all fun and games and you're all drinking drink to drink and everyone's having a good time maybe you're having a bit of extracurricular fun and then someone reacts differently to everyone else yeah and you think oh no it's all gone south now oh i've had that but i do think i was spiked i'm almost certain i was spiked because i was in a club and i literally like woke up so bad. I basically don't, you know when you, have you ever had this? I've never had a blackout. I remember everything. I remember too much. Total, like like an hour and a half of my life is just

gone. And I just remember that waking up in the back, someone had obviously put me in an Uber and he couldn't wake me up. No. And he was like on my arm and I just was like this, like like lying backwards, had to be dragged up the stairs, threw up all over the floor. No.

I'm almost certain. Min then like in the morning was like, what the hell happened to you? I'm almost certain I was spiked. That's the only time I've ever like really blacked out. It's really scary. We joke, but my God, you don't want to be having a seizure on the floor, do you?

That's awful. So apparently if you have a seizure, if someone's having a seizure, you should make them lie not on their back because then their tongue might go down their throat. Yeah, and then you have to move everything around them. I thought the new rules was don't touch. I mean, we should not be giving rules on this

because it's probably quite serious. Yeah, go and check Google for medical advice. Must get on the NHS website because that is so serious because what do you do? No one prepares you. That's what they need to do in Freshers' Week. Not all these silly drinking games.

They need to get you in and they need to go, listen, kids, this is what to do. If someone blacks out, if someone gets spiked, if someone has a seizure, if someone falls and concusses themselves. Someone shags someone they shouldn't. Someone shags their friend's brother. Where to get the morning after pill.

All of these things. All these things. That's what they need to be doing. True. That's so funny about the 9am lecture. Do you remember that? When you were like, I've got to go.

Babe, I didn't make a single 9am lecture in three years. Not a single one. That's why, actually, I'd like... So naughty. I'd like a badge for that, actually. No, that's really not something to be proud of. I would say I attended 30% of my lectures. Do you know how much you're paying to be there?

I know. And I still got two. I don't know how I did that. I forgot to say. What did you get? A first. You'd have got a first if you went to your 9ams. I know, and I still got two. I don't know how I did that. Oh, for God's sake. What did you get? A first. You'd have got a first if you went to your 9am's. I didn't need a first.

Look at me now. What did you even do? Archaeology and anthropology. Oh, for fuck's sake. Can I tell you why? Anthropology is a hilarious degree. Anthropology is actually really fascinating. It's a lot of reading.

I dropped anthropology. I went to Goldsmiths to do anthropology. I dropped it in the first week. Did yeah i thought it was fascinating yeah i found it so dull basically i did it because i wanted to go to oxford because all of my friends went to oxford like i'm not exaggerating honestly 19 20 of my friends went to oxford and i didn't get in first year so i took a gap year and i went to look at the the oxford book of courses and um i thought well what's the course with like lots of them have like admissions tests yeah arcanath has no admissions test first one aas the first page you open i saw great no admissions test best apply for

that perfect and then you didn't and then i didn't even get into august and then i had to go to bristol and do what i could Oh, they're so different. So different. You'd have thought you'd have gone to like Exeter or something, Durham, but no. No. Bristol. Motion instead. Good.

No, the one other thing I just wanted to say was we were talking about this like ages ago about how when your mum says, oh, you best wear matching knickers when you... That's a moment there. When you go to hospital. Because she was in her bodycon dress and, you know, you will have seen her knickers probably i would be heartbroken if i went to my if i went to hospital in my nice night out clothes and they cut me open sometimes you do that oh i'd be saying to them you best be buying me a new weekday top because i'm not having that i'm not having that i'm not having that my asos black body con dress you mad no way no they do

cut you fully out of your clothes in hospital sometimes i suppose if it's life or death we can sacrifice the bodycon but also do you know they take your nail polish off so we're fucked why because they have to see if your nails turn blue or something i mean i'd be dead in a second also they have to take out all your piercings and for me that is a nightmare oh dear well we're we're goners then. Goners. Time for another one. Richard, number three. Another one. Hey guys. I have a friendship breakup dilemma story

thingamabob for you. So basically me and this girl were friends for quite a long time. We were really close. And I started seeing this guy really casually. We met on a dating app. He didn't know anyone that I knew he lived like a bit away to be fair um and then one time I uh made the mistake of introducing him to my friend

um and we all started uh hanging out as a three which um you know it's already a little bit sus and then one time we went out and she messaged me the next day and she was like, oh, can I have his Snapchat because I want to ask him for his bank details so I can pay him back. I thought nothing of it. I was like, yeah, sure, absolutely. And then another time we were all hanging out. We were getting a little bit drunk. Things were getting a little bit threesome vibes.

It was definitely heading in that direction. I got very drunk and ended up going up to her bedroom to sleep and when I came down I was still so drunk I was so out of it and I came downstairs and she was sat in her bra as if she had just moved away from him very quickly and I that thought nothing of it sat straight down still head spinning from the vodka um and then basically he went on holiday and just started distancing himself from me and I messaged him like what's going on like I thought we had something really good and then he basically just said I'm not feeling the whole casual thing anymore. I'm really sorry. I was like, okay, fine, whatever. And I was talking to her about it. I was like, he's just completely cut me off. Like, I don't know what's happened. She was like, oh, babe, like, I don't know. Like,

I'm really sorry that that's happened. Blah, blah, blah. Anyway, a few months down the line, come about summertime, she messaged me saying that they've been seeing each other for about three months and she was really happy so basically he the whole time that I was seeing her being like what's going on here why has this happened she was seeing him behind my back and probably definitely sleeping with him so you, you know. Oh, well. But now we aren't friends anymore for obvious reasons. And I thought I'd just share that with you. Be careful who you're friends with.

Absolutely love the pod. Love you guys. Bye. Bye. Babe, love you. Oh. I like that message. Be careful who you're friends with.

Well, she was very positive in that that but that honestly fills me with rage rage oh what hold on a second what everyone stop in your tracks she never feels rage this girl

well it's quite soft rage I'm not going to shout no no no babe let it come out let it come out I just think like as you say there's millions of people in the world

I've written scum of the earth yeah do you know what I mean I'm actually with you on that I'd go like, as you say, there's millions of people in the world. I've written Scum of the Earth. Yeah, do you know what I mean? I'm actually with you on that. I'd go so far as to say... Scum of the Earth. Worst of the worst. Because I just think, your thing about honesty is the best policy.

Listen, if it is, you lock eyes and this is it. Love at first sight. We're going to be married. Father my children. What, with your best friend's boyfriend? And you need to say to your friend, well, when they're in the early stages of dating, like the boyfriend thing,

a whole different story. Yeah. Wild. I mean, it's all so bad, but like the one thing you could do is be honest about the fact that you've got feelings and he's got feelings for you.

And you're going to have to be iced out because otherwise that is so dirty. Like, that's dirty. What are you doing? People are such cowards. Yeah. It's just like so scummy. It's about knowing

something's wrong. You know what you're doing's wrong. Actually, you're like, they're fucking pigs. Like, I'm sorry. Like, I hope they fucking aren't unhappy. Well, the problem is

you hope actually they end up together and it was all worth it. Otherwise it was pointless. Yeah. No, actually, sorry, I don't agree. I think,

I always say this, everyone is a lesson or a blessing. They're the biggest lessons that you could have learned. I don't know what the lesson is, babe. I'm like fucking not

Yeah, because you can't never introduce your friends to your new boyfriend. Do you know what I mean? That's a bit of a nightmare. Well, I don't know. Maybe like... I don't know.

Keep it a secret. I don't know. Keep it at home. Sorry, if I walked into my living room and you and Raul... I was in my bra. Do you know what I mean? I'd die.

I think, babe. I think, babe, put a top on, would you? Would you? Would you please? I mean, he wouldn't be interested in it. The thing is, it's so... He wouldn't be interested in me? The thing is, it's like...

I don't know. I just think there's a whole... Why? Did you not really mean it i love it no i just spent night molly fucking hates us anyways he's definitely not gonna want to shag you yeah no don't worry i don't feel offended by the fact that i'm not raw's type but um i just think like it's a whole different story if you've been friends for years and they've known your boyfriend and got to know each other and they've got a closeness that is like very friendly if at any point i'd been at a bar with my partner and a friend and i felt it was threesome vibes i've been like something's gone wrong here i don't like that

i don't know it's really hard especially when you're all like out and about dating because it's like you even see the same people on hinge or like tinder or whatever you're on all the time so it's like you've got to kind of be very open and honest i think and it's got to be like you know mark your territory a bit girls because that's not right i really feel so sad for her because she lost two people not just one yeah and also the problem is he's probably quite irrelevant that might have fizzled out anyway but then you've lost your friend over it really this happened to me no not exactly but i shagged this guy yeah and oh this is years ago and so i shagged this guy and i thought i liked

him although he went to exeter lots of my friends went to exeter so like i'd gone down la la whatever then my friend she'll remain nameless oh give her a name. Go on. Oh, her name is Alicia. Good. Alicia, who we were BFFs. Like, we still are. She's one of my best friends now. What? Who?

Hold on. No! So Alicia. I die. Alicia then starts hooking up with him. Unbeknownst to me, I'm sitting happy in Bristol texting him. His name was Harry, texting away. You're texting.

We're texting. You're liking him. Yeah, but we had only shied once. But you know, when you're 21, that's basically you're married. If you're Ali Mack, yeah. We certainly weren't Snapchatting. Who the fuck's Snapchatting these days? Yeah, good question.

The most important question, yeah. Anyway, long story short, she comes up, she had been really weird and she said, can I come to Bristol? Oh, Alicia. Alicia, anyway,

she comes to Bristol, we sit on my front doorsteps and she says, I've been seeing Harry and I really like him and I think we're going to give things a go and I obviously lost the plot at her. You went to 11, did you?

You don't want to be on that side of me. I was. I was tamping for you with Ragey. Nobody crossed Ali Mack. That is great. That's an example. As if you're still friends with her. Yeah, because babe, it was just...

Bygones be bygones, I know, but come on. Anyway, they ended up going out for three years. Yeah. So then I'm like, whatever. Yeah, because then you know i mean fair play and now they've broken up we still have to see him in that time alicia and i really weren't friends for like a year and a half well this is the thing because actually if they do end up together it's quite hard to be remain friends with everyone when you have to look at him and

be like oh you did like you know god there are some pictures i look back and i think jesus christ that's awkward the three of us Do you know what I mean? You've done reverse cowgirl. Oh, good. No, we're only missionary. He was dull anyway, so not to worry. Good luck to you, Alicia. Have a nice time.

Anyway, they've now broken up and now it's obviously hilarious that we didn't speak to each other for a year and a half over a stupid boy, but... Well, over a stupid boy, Alicia, and your lack of loyalty. I know. What, babe, don't worry.

I did give it to her for a year and a half. She was iced. Ice cold, baby. It was bad. Oh, seriously, you don't want to be on that side of my rage. No, I do not. You should see the mess I'm like...

I found the messages the other day and it's like, you're a fucking nasty bitch. How fucking... Wait there, Richard. I just want to say, Richard, could you not have just sent his bank details on for her? For him?

Do you know what I mean? That was an indication. I thought that. Yeah, something fishy's going on there. Something's fishy. Also, what are you paying him for? Don't worry, I'll pass it on to him, and I'm next with him.

I'll give you a fiver and he can pay me back. All comes out in the wash, babe. Oh, but you don't want to be like that. You do in an ideal world want your friends to be best friends with your boyfriend. This is the problem. Well, that's like raw last out in the wash, babe. Oh, but you don't want to be like that. You do in an ideal world want your friends to be best friends with your boyfriend. This is the problem. Well, that's like raw last night.

Fucking hell, babe. Oh my God, I was going to say, this is the same situation. We best not leave them alone together. So, God. Me and Holly were creasing. So I said to him. I was dead.

She was like, I've got a date rule. Stop trying to cock block me. And I was dead. She was like, I've got a date, Roar. Stop trying to cock block me. And I was like, no, he was like, I think it would be nice to do something in the four of us. Sorry, this is hilarious. So basically, me and my partner, Holly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Al and her partner, Roar. We've been very kindly gifted from, be it one? Yeah. All bar one. Be it one. Be it one. Best get that right one best get that right best get that right

I'll turn up to the wrong place like 150 quid to spend at the bar to just like have a good night and Al and I were like that's a lot of drink for the two of us

especially with you drink to drink you'll be on the floor you will be having a seizure also we were saying like the four of us kind of are now you know

it's kind of family extendedly well and also like they go through a lot because of who they're dating like we're a nightmare yeah so we thought

well we best give them throw them a bone and let them have 150 quids worth of drinks yeah so we booked in for Saturday night then G messed me

messed me last night saying Holly can't go anymore and Paul was like what? okay also the whole context is the raw ones what picture was on your hinge and there was a picture this is so funny because so bad g it was g's dating profile and we were trying to show him how good she looked he couldn't give a fuck no he didn't care less he looks at me like i'm honestly

like a pack of shit like i'm repe'm repellent. There's this picture of G and Holly in the mirror and the first thing he goes is who's that? Yeah, who's that? And G was like oh well that's Hulse and she goes he goes oh, is it? Anyway now we've got this gag that he really fancies Hulse. It's just a gag. Just a gag, yeah? But anyway

then he was mortified about Saturday night and he's like well we must rearrange. He said we must rearrange it'd be really nice to do something before, which he's not wrong. No he's not wrong. It would be nice. He said, well, we must rearrange. He said, we must rearrange. It'd be really nice to do something before. Which he's not wrong. No, he's not wrong. It would be nice. He's not wrong. But we were laughing that he's trying to cock block us all the day.

Time to debrief? Time to debrief. Richard, number one. Brother. Brother lover. Brother lover. Mr. Lover Man. Find anyone else, I think. That is honestly my advice. Just don't. If you can help it, babe. Brother lover. Brother lover. Mr. Lover Man. Find anyone else, I think.

That is honestly my advice. Just don't. If you can help it, let some mistakes happen. From the eight billion people on planet Earth, you would think there'd be another one out there.

I do just think that if the two of you can look each other in the eye the next morning and go, no one knows. Or, you can go, this is going to be, guys, we're going to get married,

have kids, and everyone's going to sit around the Christmas dinner table. Yeah. Yeah, all hilarious. All hilarious. It has to be funny. But you might need to be prepared for're going to get married and have kids and everyone's going to sit around the Christmas dinner table. Yeah. Yeah, all hilarious. All hilarious. It has to be funny. But you might need to be prepared

for a little bit of distancing. Yeah, I think if you do something like that, I do have a story like this that I won't share now because it's quite long. But where you do something that you know

you shouldn't have done, you have to... I know what you did, you naughty, naughty little rat. You know the one. Yeah? Yeah. It's not good, actually.

It's actually... No, no. She's probably using time as an excuse. But actually, she doesn't want to say it on broadcast. Can you do it in the next episode? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, you remind us of that. But when you know you've done something bad, either lie through your actual fucking teeth... Because also, lie, lie, lie. Who's going to tell you you're wrong? God. Just God.

Only God can judge us girls. I've highly said. Do you know what I mean? See you in hell. We're all going there anyway. Yeah. Or be honest. That's only the two options.

Yes, it's your only two options. Or don't bother in the first place. Yeah. Suck any other dick if you can. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Bridget, number two. Having a and if you, yeah. Suck any other dick, if you can. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Bridget, number two, having a seizure after your cheesy chips.

Babe. Well, maybe stay clear of the cheesy chips. I don't know. I think that might have helped. Sober you up a bit or something. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. Always have a cheesy chip after a night out.

Oh, so maybe just don't get bladdered. Yeah, listen. Steady on the drinks and also if one person could be first aid trained in the friendship group on the night out, I think that'd be ideal. Who's that, babe? One of us. Well, one of us is going to have to do it. Well, shotgun on me. Who's if one person could be first aid trained in the friendship group on the night out, I think that'd be ideal. Who's that, babe? One of us.

Well, one of us is going to have to do it. Well, shotgun on me. Who's going to be captain of first aid? Do you want me to be captain of first aid? Yeah, I think... I think I should be... Babe. No, I think...

Sometimes you misjudge yourself. What, that I think I'm good at stuff? No, no, I just think out of the two of us, I would be the first aider. I agree. Yeah. Richard, number three in the threesome. Can you believe it? The little rat girl.

Oh, babe, sack off your shit, friends. Trust no one. Back to trusting no one. I'm going to change the name of this podcast to Trust No One. It's a safe way to live. I'm sorry. If you want to protect yourself in all instances, trust no one. Imagine Al's podcast. She goes solo and she gets guests on and she's

just like, who have you mistrusted in the past? Well, Cheryl Cole the other day on Radio 2 or whatever it was, was saying she trusts no one. I said, babe, me and you best sit on the sofa and have a chat about trusting no one. Has she got a partner now? I don't know.

Liam Payne's got a new song out, hasn't he? Well, good thing she didn't trust him. He's a snake. Is he a snake? Well, he left her, didn't he? For who for? I don't know. Right, next week, we've got a deep

dive on Liam Payne's extracurricular activity. It's not right. Love you all, galleys. Please keep sending your voice notes in. No, actually, please. Because if you don't have it, babe, guys, no voice notes, no podcast, okay? Leave us a message. Leave us five stars or otherwise, don't bother.

And see you next week. Mwah.