Leave A Message with Ally & G - 13 - White Lies, Red Lines and When To Tell Them

Episode Date: May 29, 2024

We've all told a white lie in our time navigating these streets... but when does a white lie cross the red line to become a bold faced untruth? Well, call them Sherlock & Watson, because Ally & G are on a mission to set the world straight! On this week's Leave A Message, the gallies messages turn Ally & G into real-life dick detectives as they answer your dilemmas and try to distinguish where the white turns into grey, where the grey turns into block and where it all goes bit too far! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

gorgeous i'm going out tonight i'm feeling all right what's your karaoke song okay if i'm absolutely blarded it's without me by eminem because I can't I know every single word to that song Without Me by Eminem do do do do do do go on Pops how's it go? because it feels so empty without me now this looks like

a job for me so everybody just follow me really good because we need a little controversy that's kind of genius because you're talking

not singing so you don't have to be like that amazing at singing do you know what I mean it're talking, not singing. So you don't have to be like that amazing at singing. Do you know what I mean? It's quite genius. What about yours? I don't know

because I did karaoke at the weekend because I was a hen and I did quite a lot of songs. Oh yeah, there are loads of songs that you can do. As you know,

I was dressed as Anastasia so I did do Out of Love. And I did put a knee slide in. Out of my love. Yeah. Set me free. Let me. She sings another one. Really famous one about being cold out. Oh, Yeah. Set me free. Let me. She sings another one.

Really famous one about being cold out. I ought to be left outside alone. And it's cold out here. Yeah, really good. It's very important to know because when it gets thrust upon you, you need your song. I know.

I always think that. Do you know Holly's is Bleeding Love, Leona Lewis? Can you imagine? Ring the house down. Sit down, kids. Lighters in the air am i like 12th birthday did i tell you about this i know these parties where you go and like record a track

and my song was um bleeding love by leona lewis really good why that is hilarious because i've got a friend emily shea who did that for her i wasn't friends with her at this time but when she was like 13 she did the same thing and she picked ugly sugar babes. Like why are we all picking such like sad, sad songs? My sister did Sound of the Underground.

Better. Better, much better. Sexy, bit sexy. And they're like oh they're 12 year old. Sound of the underground. It's the sound of the underground.

Really good. Well you best let us know what your karaoke songs are. You could voice notice in a little snippet. Poppy, you best let us know what your karaoke songs are. You could voice notice in a little snippet. Poppy, what are yours? By the way, have you seen all the comments

saying, I love that the girls behind the cameras have a mic now? Oh no, that's so exciting. That's so exciting. God, I'm so important. Okay, mine was Murder on the Dance Floor.

Really good, but now you can't do it. Babe, I'm having this issue with my wedding. Not that I'm having a wedding. It was my first dance at my wedding and now it can't be because it's like so lame 20th birthday sober in front of everyone 10 10 sober on your 20th birthday she did early doors i was sober i hadn't started drinking oh yeah so you thought i'll get the performance out of the way first i I'll get the performance out,

so I want to be on top form. As you should. But now, oh God, I can't remember what song it is. Oh, I love a bit of, what's the sentence in Sharon? That song. Young hearts run free.

The 55, babe. No, sorry, sometimes I put that in my spin. I think on a climb. Young hearts run free. I'd be listening to like a Fisher. Really? Oh, that in my spin. I think on a climb. Young hearts, run free. I'd be listening to like a Fisher. Really? Oh, at spin? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not doing that karaoke. No, no, no. Um, mine's ain't no valley wide enough. Ain't no valley no one else. Oh, really good. Na, na, na, na, na, na, na. Keep me from you.

Really, really good. Well, I'm glad we've got that sorted. Welcome to Leave a Message. This is the podcast for the galleys by the galleys. And basically, galleys send us in voice messages every week. And we try and wade through them and sort of like talk about them. I don't want to use the word advice because it is rarely advice. It's rarely advice.

It's more of an opinion or a kind of a speculation on what you might have said and a kind of drawback to when we've done something similar the other day who said this to us she was like um the best the best creators are the one with the ones with nothing important to say oh yeah we were at this event and she was like no honestly my favorite creators are the ones with nothing to say and Al and I looked at each other and we were like, that's the tagline.

We must get that in our bio. That's what we've been waiting for when people ask us, what's the podcast about? Nothing important. Well, the best creators are the ones with nothing to say. That's what it's about.

Sorry about it. We've got nothing to say. We're just noise in your ears, really. Exactly. Oh, sorry, but I thought I should mention my plaster as well. I gave blood.

So I'm not injured. So how many litres are you giving? God only knows, but it felt like a lot today. They don't tell you? No, I didn't ask. Maybe we should Google it. Love to know. Girls?

Get on that pink MacBook, Poppy. The guys opposite me, the serious guys, were giving bone marrow, and now that is a shift. Through a needle? I don't know how they do it. Surely that's an operation. The machine is intense. Yeah. Do you know, bone it the machine is intense yeah do you know bone marrow i know you're not eating your their bone marrow what do they even use that for eating bone marrow

is so good for you drinking it surely like my grandma is it edible like you know when you have like i don't know even what like a lamb like a leg and the inside bit got it got it got it yeah of an animal rather than a human um i feel like it's a jamaican thing like you like we have oxtail babe i'm not jamaican so i don't think it is a jamaican thing oh what because you're nan's asian yeah well i was gonna say we have oxtail so the oxtail like you suck them bone marrow out? Yes! Disgusting. I just want to say, go on, Poppy. What are you going to tell me about blood? A pint, is that it?

That's it. I guess if you saw a pint of blood, you'd be like, that's quite a lot. Babe, in like a blood, like when they have like blood transfusions, they use like 15 units of that stuff. You're not even going to save one whole person. They mix it in together.

Like with other peoples. Why didn't they take more from me? In Grey's Anatomy, they pack at least three or four units in there. We're not taking our facts from Grey's Anatomy. Grey's Anatomy, they did have a doctor on the show to make sure that everything was factually medically correct. That's like trigger point. They had an army guy on and it's like

then all the bomb disposal experts are like, like well it wasn't really like that but we did it as close as we could did you guys hear about the man who died from the pig transplant no he died from what he had accepted the first like pig transplant and then he actually died two months after getting the oh my god i did pig blood i didn't know he died heart was it pig heart it wasn't it was. Pig kidney! I think it was a heart. And I didn't know he died. It was like with different complications. It wasn't just, ah.

What could be more complicating than a pig's heart in a human body? Do you know what I mean? That is very confusing to me. My poor little brain. Can't handle it. I don't think I'd want a pig's heart. Sorry, I just wanted to say. Will you give your organs away when you die? Everyone, unless you opt out, you will. Now you do. Oh good, I'm glad about that. Oh, I don't know. I don't think my organs, I just wanted to say... Will you give your organs away when you die? Everyone, unless you opt out, you will give yours.

Now you do. Oh, good. I'm glad about that. Oh, I don't know. I don't think my organs... I hope, touch wood, pray to God, I live a long life. Your organs are still fine, aren't they? No, babe.

You're not going to be wanting an 85-year-old's heart. No, fair. Maybe just your eyes. Also, I just want to say, if you want to stay young, eat all those things like bone marrow, fish eyes. My grandma's been eating those for years. She looks 60. Yeah. 16 yeah she's jumping around she's doing laughing she does laughing yoga yeah which is like

really good for you so good for you well i'll tell you about feeling joyous sorry rahana i will move on shortly um charlotte tilp i am going to i'm sorry i must become an ambassador for this stuff i've been brainwashed i've joined the cult and it is a cult charlotte tilbury can now sell me anything right basically i went to this basically you better listen here you better get your pocket money saved because this is some serious business so i went to a hen do at the weekend as you well know listen i'm a good time gal i'm a sociable person but sometimes are like they ask they do ask a lot of to a hen do at the weekend. As you well know, listen, I'm a good time gal. I'm a sociable person. Oh, but hen do's are like, they do ask a lot

of you a hen do. I can find it quite exhausting, I would say. To be on. Yes. And like also. And nice. And like, people think we're funny in real life. I'm not so funny. I haven't got many jokes for you when I'm tired and I'm on day three of a hangover. What, and you think I'm going to be life and soul?

I can't even stand up, babe. I haven't got anything to say to you and I definitely can't ask you about your job again. Do you know what I mean? I find it quite hard. So anyway this we went to this event the night before I left for this Hindu and we got this new perfume which it's revolutionary darlings. It's the first AI perfume darlings. It's the first of its kind darlings. It's the first to the market darlings. She honestly was like a cult leader, Charlotte Tilbury. God love you. This is not my marketing bullshit, darlings. This is real. This is 40 plus years of research, darlings.

I know, darlings. Darlings. I know. No, this is... No, listen in the back, darlings. Because this is serious, darlings. Shush, shush in the back. You're going to want to hear this

because you're going to want to hear this, darlings. She was like the messiah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And me and her were at the front. I'm like dribbling. Like, oh, I'll buy anything, babe. Anyway, hashtag gifted a bottle. I said to her, she's such a visionary.

Yeah, Al just stands there after her speech and she's just like dead serious, dead pan. Gosh, she's such a visionary. She is, to be fair. She is. She's converted you, babe. I don't know what you're rolling your eyes about. She's converted me.

She's converted me. So anyway, so this perfume, this perfume perfume it's basically meant to evoke emotion in you and others around you anyone who smells it basically and you think yeah yeah placebo whatever she's got one for feeling calm she's got one for feeling empowered she's got one for getting laid yeah yeah and then she's got one for joy this was the one that we got kindly hashtag gifted anyway i thought before i left for the hen, I best dose myself up in this. Shower yourself in that.

I best bathe in the joy because I'm going to need to be on and nice. And you know, it's my cousin's hen. I've got to be nice to her friends. You know, I can't be like, who was that moody bitch in the corner? So anyway, dose myself in it. I was honestly the best version of myself all weekend.

I was so kind. I was so nice. And actually, I put some on this morning. I think I've been quite nice today, haven't I? Charlotte, if you're listening. It works. I was so kind. I was so nice. And actually, I put some on this morning. I think I've been quite nice today. Charlotte, if you're listening. It works. Well done. Bravo. Well done, because I am a moody cow. Sometimes I can be very pass-ag. And you've really drawn that out of me somehow.

Those neuroscientists, they've outdone themselves. They really have. And as of those perfumists, what are they called? Perfumiers. I don't actually know what we're talking about. That's why I can't segue on. Let anyone know. Perfumiers. Perfumiers. Perfumiers. Perfumiers. Perfumiers. I don't actually know what we're talking about. That's why I can't segue on. Does anyone know what we're doing today? Oh, we're talking about work.

Perfect segue. Charlotte Tilbury's been hard at work. Good. No. They did it again. It was so good. Okay, sorry. So we've been bathing in Charlotte Tilbury's hard work.

And now... So good. You're all going to get to bathe in other galleys, we've been bathing in Charlotte Tilbury's hard work and now very good you're all gonna get to bathe in other galley's stories about work that was honestly that should win a podcast award I'm not even joking

I would like to get that I thought that was so good can we whoever's in this building whoever's listening to this podcast could you get us to the areas

or whatever the fuck they're called the podcast awards oh the areas is that what they're called I thought is that areas

oh I would call it I don't know what you're calling A-R-I-A A-R-I-A maybe that's the radio ones anyway I know there's a podcast award and Peter and Abby Clancy

won it last year and that's why they I'm sure that's why they got to present at the Brits so could we get a table at these podcast areas whatever the hell

they're called I think you might need to ask elsewhere but if any galleys are listening that are involved in that... Oh, I was talking directly to Universal. I don't know if anyone from Universal is listening to us. Probably not.

Probably not. You might need to stand in the corridor and shout a bit louder. Okay, well, let's have the first voice note, then. What are they called today? We best call them Charlotte. Oh, we best have Charlotte. We best have Charlotte. Charlie Tilb.

Hi, galleys. My white lie, which is kind of like a lost... No, it wasn't losing virginity, but it was a sexcapade. Um, you know when you play a game of, like, where's the weirdest place you've had sex? And then it comes round, and I'll lie,

because mine is that it was with my boss in a pub, in this beer cellar, bent over a barrel. And I will lie about that and take it to my grave. Well, not anymore because I've just told you all. I think I told someone maybe once and then like fully lied about that. I was like, no, that wasn't me. Is it a white lie? Is it grey?

Maybe it's more of like a big lie because it's so embarrassing but um it happened and i'm just glad it never happened again so good okay i'm so good i have so much to say me too right number one what's the difference how are we categorizing black lies and like black lies and white lies and gray lies because in between lies i don't think that's a white lie, babe. That's not a white lie because that's... A white lie is like... What is a white lie?

Like what does... What like constitutes as it's... You're allowed to white lie. Did you post... Did you send that email? Yeah, I did it. And then you do it five minutes later.

That's a white lie. That's allowed. Oh, you look great in that dress. Oh, I don't think that's white, babe. I think that's pretty grey. I think that... No i think that no no your hair doesn't look bad today it's gray it's a great eye yeah that is okay depends who's asking if karen's asking you and you're telling her her hair looks good that's that's a white lie a white yeah or like if you're um oh like in a relationship yeah so i've got one with my ex ex He had this really weird thing about the box

The club in London Oh and you would say you went somewhere else He didn't like it and one night I had been to the box Why didn't he like the box? He was away, because he's a grandad And he googled it and it said Prince Harry goes to sex party at the box So then he thought it was like a sex club Which it's not

It's not They just do this weird show basically But it's not. It isn't, it's not. No, no, it's not. They just do this weird show, basically. But it's the furthest thing from sexy I've ever witnessed in my life. It's bizarre. You don't go there to get laid. No.

You don't get laid in the box. No, no one's getting laid at the box, I don't think. Well, maybe they are. I'm not. Anyway, I'd been to the box. And how bad is this? I white lied. And I was like, oh, yeah, I just went to the box and how bad is this I white lied and I was like oh yeah

I just went to Below Stone's Nest and he was like I thought you got home at like three and I was like yeah yeah I did he was like

well Below Stone's Nest closes at one oh you got caught in your lie I got caught I got got so bad white lies are so hard

because you have to remember the white lies you've told and then you get lost in your own web of white lies and then you think, oh my God, did I say I was doing, did I say I was at dinner

with a friend or did I say I was teaching spin? Can't remember why I said I wasn't going but I said I wasn't going and I can't remember why. Do you know what I mean? Or I would have it with you,

this hasn't happened. Oh. But like Evolvik by accident sent me two boxes. You would lie and say they sent one box. It's a nightmare. Yeah.

It's really hard with stuff like that because I catch myself doing that all the time like like stories like that she's obviously lied to cover something up

she's just not told the truth that's not really a white lie like you just haven't said your weirdest place because your place I don't think that's even a lie yeah

it's just like avoiding the truth you've just withheld the truth yeah but sometimes I will like tell stories and I'll just think god that wasn't even true. Why did I do that?

Do you ever do that? But in what situation if you've just embellished a story? Sometimes it'll be embellish a story or sometimes it'll just be like, like on a date, for example, like recently this guy was like, oh yeah,

and like, did you see Poor Things at the cinema? And I'll be like, oh yeah, great film. Never seen it. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Because you fuck yourself because then you're in a conversation where you have to say like, oh yeah, great film. Never seen it. Why would you do that? Why would you do that? Because you fuck yourself

because then you're in a conversation where you have to say, like, then I have to rack my brains about all the things I've read online about poor things pretending I've watched it.

Why would you? I do that all the time. Why would you do that? You say it to be like, cool. It's not even cool. Yeah, it's always like, to be like in, in.

Or to have something in common. Like to just be a bit like, oh yeah, sure. And then imagine he goes, what's your favourite bit? I actually do that a lot. The bit with Emma Stone is so good.

I don't really know specifically the whole bit. Yeah, I do do that a lot. Do you do that all the time? Or you do it the other way where like, I do this a lot too, where Rue will be like,

did you put the like, chicken packet in the recycling and now the whole recycling thing smells like, wasn't me? I don't know who that,

who, who, I didn't do that. Oh God, there must be someone else in our house because that literally wasn't me. Oh my God, this is so bad

because so much happened in this hen, I can't believe it, but my cousin will be listening. I was really drunk, so Jess, you've got to let me off, but basically,

this guy had come in the day, this is actually so bad, classic me, this guy had come in the day to set up a karaoke machine, hilarious, his name's Steve. No,

no, that's the bartender. Fine. We had a lot of men in the house. Anyway, Steve sets up this karaoke machine. Iilarious. The acne man. No, no, that's the bartender. Fine. We had a lot of men in the house. Anyway, Steve sets up this karaoke machine. I've been day drinking and he gives us

this big explanation of how to use the machine. You broke it. I pressed a button that I wasn't meant to press and Jay came over and was like, but someone's turned it off

and I was like, what's me? I didn't press, I pressed the keyboard like you said. I've actually never even pressed a keyboard and I did turn it off.

I didn't even know what that thing it off. I didn't even know what that thing looks like. I didn't even know what the button looks like. the whole thing. Also, sorry, another thing on the hen that I just thought of.

One of Steph's friends, I do it all the time. One of Steph's friends works in HR and I was like, I love people who work in HR. Hilarious.

You get all the goods. You get the bad stuff, the good stuff, the juicy stuff. And I said, come on, tell me what's the like craziest thing that's happened.

And she goes, honestly, it's the shagging. She like yeah had had one had one um incident who's this stuff no no one of her friends i won't name her in case anyone puts two and two together this is her job after this yeah exactly her name's barry she was telling me yeah about these these two uh colleagues at work shagging on the pool table in the office after hours caught on the cameras like what's the weirdest or worst place you've ever had sex i had sex against an electricity box in spain that's not that weird babe but that's just

basically a wall it was with like a family friend that i really wasn't meant to shag and i accidentally did oh god i've done that too much now I think about it. About against the yellow and green electricity box? No, about a family friend I wasn't supposed to shag. Oh yeah. They said, can you be careful of that one? And they were all like, you'll make it really uncomfortable for everyone. And it is.

And it was afterwards and I did think I should have listened. Sorry about that. You won't know him. Oh. He's got a twitch. That's one thing I remember about him so clearly. I was in the gaucho club. The gaucho club?

What is that? The steak restaurant? Yeah. Where did you shag him? In the steak restaurant? We were... Pre-steak or post? It was post.

Then post! We weren't just on our own. We were like... What if you had a cot de boeuf? No, no. I'd had... Well, we were at this party... Peppercorn sauce.

We were at this... Side oforn sauce. We were at this. Cider shag. We were at this 21st birthday. This girl had hired the private room there. And like, I'm not, I won't name who it is. You sound so private school right now. I love it.

No, I know. I know. We, we, we're not friends anymore. So fine. We don't talk anymore. Probably because you left before pudding to shag one of our mates.

And it was boring. So Brooke and I were like, should we just go? Oh, you and Roar. Oh, not some randomer, babe. It used to be fun. I love it. You too.

It's like when mum and dad used to have a bit of a like spooky sex in the back. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In the back seat. And then this weekend we had sex and I texted her straight away. We did it. Yeah, really good. First time in about six weeks. I thought, oh my God, Macy.

And it came from nowhere, didn't it, babe? It came from nowhere. You didn't even tee him up for it. We were. Could you imagine us having sex in the gaucho club these days? No, in the toilet. Yeah, yeah. Wild.

But when we finished, we realised we hadn't actually shut the door. Luckily, no one had come in. But if they had... Wait, was it... You were in cubicles? It was a cubicle, but it was like a big... You know, there was like big cubicles. Sable.

That's even worse. Were you in the sable toilet? No, no, no. You know, it's like a bathroom... No, no, no. Don't come for me. No, I wasn't. Oh, I've done it on a park bench too I think everyone's done it on a park bench

Sorry I'm not very voyeuristic Like I don't actually really like The idea of shagging outside I don't love it Listen, I was 17 and thick You know, like I was just I've been fingered on a park bench

But I haven't shagged anyone there I've shagged on a park bench actually So I went I trump you there, babe She wants to win the shagged anyone there. I've shagged on a park bench actually so I went there I trump you there babe. She wants to win the shagging competition. I think you can. I think you definitely

win the shagging competition babe. Not for weird places. Oh I've done loads like on a beach. Yeah I've had sex on a beach. Like back of cars in like car parks or like dogging spots.

There's a really good dogging spot in Cheltenham if anyone needs to know it I'll give you the dogging. Shagging. It's where you shag in a car but or like dogging spots there's a really good dogging spot in Cheltenham if anyone needs to know it I'll give you the dogging shagging it's where you shag in a car but you go to like

it's called a dogging spot so it's like loads of other people go and do dogging wow babe I'm not gonna lie I don't think that's

a well-known phenomenon oh is it not it is poppysite is I've done it I've been there poppysite definitely is

I've done the woods as well when we first the woods when we no no like you know when you go into like the woods as well when we first when we know like you know when you go into like the woods and there's like no one there but like there's also no cover so like if anyone walked yeah yeah done that in the day then over yeah just me and raw we were so we used to be so horny i actually don't know what happened to us we used to go to the waitrose car park you're crazy i've done that once against a train i thought it just hurt and i felt largely

uncomfortable about who might see i think a lot of those instances I didn't actually enjoy it. I just thought I needed to tick the box. I genuinely think they might be pointless. Oh yeah, don't waste time up against a tree. I'll never forget one of my friends once did shag her boyfriend on a plane in the seat.

She sat on his lap and they fucked. Shut. That's horrific, isn't it? In business. No, babe. How are they even doing that, babe? In business.

Everyone would see. In business at least you could How are they even doing that babe? In business. Everyone would say in business at least you can put the privacy screen. She had a skirt on and I believe I did ask the dynamics at the time

because I thought and he was pretending to like show her out the window and like they were joking around. I don't know how long it lasted but they did.

You can fully get banned from flying for that. You can get arrested. It's outrageous. Can you get arrested for that? Sorry. We need to move on. That's a good arrested for that sorry babe can i just say to charlotte number one um i think it's really important that you keep that story to yourself to yourself yeah because actually we've just like really digressed

and told some of our stories and i regret most of them so actually i would just might have to get caught actually yeah poor role i think you'll never be able to go to work again make this autumn the tastiest season yet with farm fresh produce and easy autumn inspired recipes delivered right to your door with hello fresh whip up tasty restaurant style meals in your own kitchen without the high price tag of takeout and in less time than it takes to get delivery. Babe, honestly, HelloFresh has saved me so many times. And now my in-laws think I can actually cook even though all I've done is followed the recipe and had the ingredients delivered to my door. But babe, you are cooking. It's absolutely genius. And also, it's not like you're going to be stuck doing one recipe that you're

good at because there's variety from hellofresh there's so much choice come on you can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com free allergy applied across seven boxes new subscribers only varies by plan that's 10 free hellofresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com slash free Ali G. You're welcome. Hi guys, just wanted to say love you both so much. My embarrassing story is I am a member of the acronym community, more specifically the G. And I partake in extracurricular activities through the very famous Gay Man's App. Grindr.

This got me into some trouble at work as one day I was at work and this gentleman walked in and kind of recognised who he was straight away but didn't really pinpoint where I knew him from. Hard out of context. He sat down, go over to him, ask him, how's he doing? Can I get him anything? And he says that he's there to see my manager at the time. So go over to my manager, and I say, hi, this guy is here,

and he wants to see you. She goes, perfect, he's actually going to be a new manager starting this week. I was like, okay, great. At this point, still hadn't figured out where I know him from. Oh, no. It then clicks. Me and him had been sexting on Grindr for about six months at this point. Luckily, we had never met.

Then later find out that he has a boyfriend, but they are in an open relationship. He then starts asking me advice on how to propose to the person. No. And that he wants to marry them. He has now left, luckily. But to this day, he worked there for about a year. He has now left, luckily. But to this day, he worked there for about a year.

We never spoke about it whatsoever. Everyone else at work knows what happened, but he still doesn't know that they know. I love that, Charlotte, too, that you're like at the coffee machine, like you'll never guess what Darren said to me a few weeks where he'd like to put his fingers.

Can I say, I think sexting is worse than having shagged him. I agree because you go somewhere crazy. You've got hard evidence. It's there in black and white. Think about the things you say when you're sexting and you're in the mood. You know when you go back and you think, was I possessed?

No. Was I possessed by a devil? Sometimes I get really into it hella into it i say the weirdest stuff i've got babe i've got almost two years worth of sex between raw and i bristol to newcastle yeah the pic the pictures i can't even think about it makes me feel violently unwell i used to have a vault babe i used to have a photo vault app on my phone really good that's actually really genius i have used many messaging apps where the messages are disappearing. It's very, very good if anyone needs them.

That's better. Yeah. There's one called Wicker. Really good. They don't disappear on Grindr. Oh, dear. Do you know that Grindr, I would love for a day to be a gay man on Grindr. Because honestly, some of the boys at Dig Me, their stories, I honestly, like... Babe, it's the Wild West out there.

It's the fucking Wild West. How the hell do you all survive? Like, honestly, like... Babe, it's the wild west out there. It's the fucking wild west. How the hell do you all survive? Like, honestly, like, it's like, you know how in this modern day and age, if you want a little something wet, a little sparkly something, you know there's a convenience store in London around 100 yards away, and you'll get one.

That's Grindr. If I want a shag, I have to talk to someone for two weeks, I have to go to a bar. Yes! It's a nightmare to find a man I want a shag. Grindr, they'll be there in five. Also, I don't know, I don't want to shag. I have to talk to someone for two weeks. I have to go to a bar. Yes. It's a nightmare to find a man I want to shag. Grinder, they'll be there in five. Also, I don't know. I don't want to blanket rule this.

It's like Deliveroo for men. Basically, yeah. Basically. Wow. I feel like generally there are rules, but it appears that there are no rules when it comes to grinding. I would agree.

And gay men shagging. No rules. Do what you want. Like finger and dick at the same time, no problem. All of it. Like if you want to come over and gay men shagging. No rules. Do what you want. Like, finger and dick at the same time, no problem. All of it. Like, if you want to come over

and then leave in literally 15 minutes. And not even say my name, fine. It's the sexting. Like, how funny. Like, you've actually got someone that you'd go on Grindr for just when you're feeling

a bit horny and you don't want to shag but you do want to sext. And now they're your manager. You hate to hear that, don't you? Also, it is that thing of like, where have I,

you know, when you've seen them, you know, where do I know you from? When you've seen them, you know, Where do I know you from? When you've seen them asshole in the air and then they walk in wearing a white tie and a white shirt

and a suit, you do think, oh God, who the hell is that? Yeah, you do. I mean, I've rarely forgot who I've like,

sexted or shagged. I haven't shagged that many people. You look different when you're stood up when not, you know, when I've got my dick

inside you. Babe, they didn't shag. Or when I've seen your bumhole on my phone screen. Yeah. God, hopefully it was just messages.

Oh, even that though, when you do see someone that you have shagged. Oh, God. In real life, out of context, at work or on the tube, and you think, oh, God. Horrible, and then you get flashbacks, visceral flashbacks. I'm sorry, but I couldn't have waited for a year.

I'd have had to have said, looked him in the eye and been like, sorry, do you not remember when you said you wanted your mouth around my dick? I was going to say, I would have said to him, there must have been a moment in a year when you were there just to do you. So you could crack a joke. To be like, haha, lol. That was really like, whatever.

Maybe it's not so lol as the manager. It's probably not that long. Sorry, what were you just going to say? You've bumped into someone you shagged and you regretted it or something? No, of that thing where you see them. So, oh, this guy, Dick, who he was this guy in Exeter. I think I've spoken about him before,

but long story short, he actually ditched me. And like, this would have been like a year ago on Angel Station on the platform. It's the biggest platform I've ever seen in my life. It's honestly like 10 meters wide, this platform. I'm at the front

and this, the tube like comes up and like, you know when like the doors don't open. No, what are the chances? Like literally 15 seconds.

He stood there. He stood there. We're looking at each other for like genuinely 15 seconds. Sorry. And for a second, I thought, oh gosh, who is that?

Why is he so familiar? Obviously then I clicked, he's been inside me. And then I had to look at him. And then he walked off and we didn't even say a word to each other. Oh, horrible. It's so awful. Do you mind never bumping into people? Ever.

It's better that way, babe. It's much better that way. I must be the opposite of a magnet. And I repel them away. Oh, I wish they'd all just like move and move. One of my exes lives in Tooting. Nor have I seen him once.

That's the universe looking out for you, babe, because that's not right. Thank God for it. I would shit myself if I bumped into him, to be fair. What would you say?

How's your acting career going? Haven't seen you in much recently. Meow. Hi, girls. Loving the pod. It's basically a bit of a call for some detective work to see what the hell you galleys think happened um it happened a few years ago when i started to get the impression that someone in the office liked me let's call him tim and tim's feelings for me were confirmed

um by a mutual friend who actually told me that he did like a retro style fist pump in the office when he'd heard that I was single but he did eventually pluck up the courage to ask me out and we planned to go on a date. Flash forward to the Friday before our date and we were both on separate nights out with friends but naturally ended up arranging to meet in the club where we eventually left together to head back to his. He was really sweet and we ended up doing the deed a few times. This is where the story takes a bit of a turn. Oh no! After staying up all night together and spending the morning talking about life, Tim went to take a shower and I texted my friend, let's call him Sam, who also happened to be his

roommate. I was under the impression that he wasn't in the house. Unfortunately, he was. What was weird was when we all emerged in the kitchen, the vibe was off. And these are two best friends and roommates and also someone I've just slept with and like my really good friend as well. So I just couldn't understand why there was a weird atmosphere. That day, I barely heard a peep from Tim. I hate that. But as I was pretty busy and he made it clear that he was looking forward to the date tomorrow I thought again nothing of it. Until Sunday afternoon when chatting to the roommate Sam I was informed that Tim had packed up his car on Saturday and drove home to his parents house down south without saying a word to me he eventually cancelled the date on sunday afternoon via text with very in the little way of reasoning and here's the clincher

i never heard from him again total ghosting and neither did his friend sam for about 12 months now the only background info i have is that something happened to the night before we hooked up on the Thursday night between Tim and Sam that was Sam's fault. I've always wondered if they kissed or something, but I'm interested. What do you guys think happened? Oh, mic drop. Babe, excellent voice note. Thank you for entering the group chat. Charlotte Three, I'm thrilled to have you here. What the... Right, let's get down to work then. This is serious business now.

I'm sweating. Are you? I feel hot. I've actually written spy question mark. You're the... Oh, you think he might be a spy. There is no explanation.

How did he get half his rent? How did he stop work? Yeah, I was going to say, I thought he had the same job as you as well. I thought he was in your office. How did he do it all? He did a disappearing act.

They shagged. Do you think they shagged? Yeah, yeah. She said we did it a couple of times. No, no. Him and Sam. Oh, okay. My first thought was,

Sam knows something. He thought Sam might know that he actually has a girlfriend or something. Something like that. He's married. But that wouldn't... Married. How old are they all?

Maybe it's too much to be married. They sound quite young. They sound young. But that wouldn't... Married. How old are they all? Maybe it's too much to be married. They sound quite young. They sound young. My first thought was... Young people sometimes get married. I know it's mad, but they do. It's crazy. It actually is.

That's an illness. No, no, no, I know. I know, it's a disease. Sorry to be so judgmental, but that's wild. If you're religious, I'll let you off. But otherwise, things crazy. Right, my first thought was,

Sam knows something. And that's why he was being weird in the kitchen. Because, like, your best mate and this guy you've just shagged and had a lovely night with and stayed up all night with, it should be fun. It should be lovely.

But also, this is where I'm confused, because it's like, okay, within the bubble of you guys shagging and staying up all night having DMCs chatting, he was able to be normal with you. Like, you didn't catch that vibe with him until he was in the kitchen with Sam.

Maybe he's a psycho that he can put a mask on for that long. Maybe Sam confessed his love for you, Charlotte number three, and said... No, that wouldn't make Tim leave, though.

Why would he leave? Because Tim felt so guilty that his mate had looked him in the eye and been like, I'd love for you not to go on a date with her because I actually really fancy her. And then he met her out

and shagged her. Then he had to look Sam in the eye the next day. That's quite a good possibility. And the guilt, maybe he is a really good guy to him, and the guilt killed him. Right, that's option one. Option two is he's a horrible guy.

Basically, he's not normal. Something's gone wrong. Something's gone wrong somewhere. Something's gone really wrong. He's either exactly that. He's either so good that he's guilty. Because why was it so bad that you could never... Have you done an STI test, babe?

Has he given you something horrible? You must check that. That's a good question. You must ask your work what reason he gave. You must get friends with HR at work. What reason he gave

for terminating his contract. Because that's crazy to be able to just leave your job unless you're in like a zero hour contract job which you could be to be fair.

Sorry, disappearing acts fascinate me. My only, my immediate emotional response was he's done something wrong. Because you don't leave out of guilt. You don't pack up your whole life for someone else's guilt. They'll get over it.

I just think like this. No, but it's Tim's guilt. If Tim's done something wrong, it's his guilt. Over hurting his friend, but like, you know, they weren't like married. But you, so you think he did drag someone. I only think that the only thing that could

have happened is that he's done something that he can't face. And Sam said to Tim I'll tell her. And that's why he's left because he can't handle it.

How bad can it be though? You haven't, you don't, at that stage you don't owe her anything. If he shagged a girl the night before he owes her nothing.

Well like the STI. Yeah. What if it's something like that that he's like given her something? Scabies. Check for scabies. Oh my God. Oh my God.

I know someone that has scabies but that's not you. Who? Have I met them recently? No. Oh, thank God. Well, you met me recently. Every day, actually.

Have you got them? No. But he was saying that you're wrong. That you can get it from sharing. You have to have close contact with someone for 15 minutes. Which is why people think it's an STD because you to have close contact with someone for 15 minutes, which is why people think it's an STD because you obviously have close contact

when you have 15 minutes plus. But guys, babe, not to make you prang, but we spend more than 15 minutes with each other every single day. Not close contact. Close contact is like sharing clothes, sharing items. Well, that's bad news for me.

Sharing a bed. Sharing a bed. I mean, I guess the conclusion is, we'll never know, but... No, my conclusion is, you must ask HR. You must... And get an STI test if you have one. Get an STI test.

Check in with HR. Or actually, I'd have driven to his house. I'd have been like Sam, where do his parents live? Salt burn vibes. I'd have turned up. Yeah. Because I want to know the truth.

Demand an answer. I'm going there, Charlotte. Next week. That is, I agree though, fascinating. The fact that people can psychologically just pick up a knee because they can't face it. And say nothing, ever again. Did you try and call him? Baby, you're

going to have to voice that. Of course she tried and called him, babe. I don't think she just let him leave. Was probably looking forward to bowling. Time for a quick DP? Yeah, let's go for it. Let's wrap this shit up. Sorry, I will not stop thinking about that. That is mental. We're going to lose sleep over Tim. Yeah, I will. Right, Charlotte, number one, little white lie, because she can't play a game of where the weird where's the weirdest place you've had

sex because she shagged her boss over a barrel keep withholding the truth is what i'd say but also it's not crazy crazy and now you don't actually work with your boss how do you know does she say that yeah i think if you've left the job i actually think it's kind of a funny story i don't think you want everyone if you're actually a proper corporate girl you don't want everyone knowing that you shied your boss bent over a barrel in a beer cellar. Do you know what I mean?

Judgy. I'm not judgy. I'm saying... The corporate world's so judgy. Relax. She also said, I feel like she mentioned virginity, so that might have been

her first time as well. Missed that. Missed that. Are you mad? Hold on, why did you not flag that earlier? Hello? Oh my God,

roll the tapes. Reroll the tapes. You weren't listening properly. That was her virginity. With the boss. Sorry, I take issue with the boss. Why, babe? I take big issue with the boss. Reroll the tapes. You weren't listening properly. That was her virginity. With the boss. Sorry, I take issue with the boss. Why, babe? I take big issue with the boss.

He would know. You want to shag your employees, number one, especially not when they're virgins. That's wild. Don't agree. Don't agree. Because I think, listen. You think that a male boss in a position of power

can just go around shagging little girls that haven't lost their virginities? Number one, he wouldn't have known unless she'd been very forthcoming about her virginity. True. And number two... But he can't shag his employees. You very forthcoming about her virginity true and number two but he can't shag his employees you don't know how old he is

he could be only five years older than you some bosses are older than you it's a power dynamic I actually don't agree because I think it depends what kind of company you work and if you're like in a really like

you know and he's like you know CEO of Goldman Sachs and you're just like the associate he can't shag it but not if you're like in a startup and like you know

it's all a bit like pally pally but even in a bar like I wouldn't have let my manager like it's bad the manager if he'd have tried to shag me in the bar i don't know it's not it's not great it's not ideal it's not great you want to shag on your own level one above maybe i would say go for the boss if he's rich but if he's not gonna do it then do it well okay charlotte number number two a member of the

LGBTQ plus community and a very active member of Grindr who was sexting his now manager that is honestly that is my idea of hell

seeing that face in front of me because I honestly think about some of the things I've said I'd be so mortified I'd have to quit my job I'd go bright red

and I'd leave 100% 100% I'd do a Tim 100% I'd be like yes got to ghost you now.

Gotta go to this whole company. Gotta leave. Some other things as well. And then you would go, imagine seeing him walking in and then like going to the loo and getting your phone out and looking through everything.

And rereading what he'd said like the night before. And like him sending, him sending you like his fucking bare asshole and stuff. Like that is not right to be sat opposite him on a Monday morning at 9am.

That's not cool. And you know what he looks like bent over in a mirror. Oh, fuck, fuck. Charlotte, number three, star of the week. Right, babe, you must, must

get a private investigator on this. We don't have enough facts or enough access to the info that we need to be able to decipher this because it's very serious and we must find out what happened to Tim.

I reckon something bad. I reckon he's done something bad that he can't face and he's just run away back to his mum's house because he can't deal with it. Did someone die? Like, what has happened?

You don't leave your whole life behind because someone, it's got to be something bad enough for you to literally pack up your whole life, leave your job, leave your home, finish-

I can't think of something bad enough. Like, literally, like, stabbing your boss or, like, stabbing her mum or something. Like, it's that deep. What would be that bad that would make you

pack up and leave? Nothing. It's got to be really deep. You must, you must do some more digging. Find out all of the information. Go and, like, call his mum.

Poor Tim. What's happening on his Facebook? That's always a good place to start. I think we should normalise confronting people. Just ask the question. I agree, but how's she going to get to him?

Like, she actually does need to go to his house. She says that he came back 12 months later, somebody has access oh sam spoke to him a year later you're so right babe you must ring him but we listen to these voices we're missing a lot of information that i actually remember that sorry but when you're when you've got so much to say i know and then you're being wrapped up it's very difficult i've got so many notes oh my god that was absolutely brilliant. Thank you, Gallys.

We love you. If you listen to any of those voice notes and you thought, I can trump that, then please do send us a voice note because we love them. They literally keep this show alive. So thank you so much.

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