Leave A Message with Ally & G - 19 - Whack The Contract Out!

Episode Date: July 10, 2024

Haven't you heard? It's a ratboy summer! And one of the gallies certainly has a ratboy on her hands on this weeks episode of Leave A Message. Ally & G are your sea men navigating the rarely charted waters of relationship woes - from married cheaters to difficult in-laws... and what to do about reclaiming money after a break-up (hint: your Dad might need to get involved). Plus we chase all of that down with a special note on how space affects the human body... Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

oh my god we're rolling sorry did you know that i had said on a drive-thru episode that taylor's uh harry stars was going out with the nobody and someone was like i almost just had to throw my laptop out the window because ali said that he was going out with a nobody and he was going out with Taylor Russell. Who's Taylor Russell? She's like so... Why is she famous? What is she in?

How do I know her? I think she was in Spider-Man. No idea. That's Zendaya. No, no. In Spider-Man. She's on Google. Oh, and that's not a nobody.

That's not a nobody. You must not have seen Taylor Russell and thought she was a nobody, though. You must have just thought... I think that this girl's got it wrong, because I'm sure that Harry Styles had a blonde girlfriend who wasn't just a normal London girl,

and they've just broken up. Maybe Harry Styles was previously with Taylor Russell. He does move on quickly. Yeah. Like, he's literally just racking them up. She was in Bones and All. Couldn't say I've seen that. Waves.

Waves. Escape Room. I don seen that. Waves. Waves. Escape Room. No. I don't know any of them. Me neither. Lost in Space. If we saw her, would we know her? You would know her because she's sexy.

Yeah, she's more of a fashion icon. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He likes an older woman, doesn't he, normally? Yeah, who was the one that he... He was with Caroline Flack for a while? No, the one after Caroline Flack. The actress?

Yeah. What is her name? Hilarious. Olivia Wilde. Yeah, Olivia Wilde. Sorry, and the whole thing was that she basically groomed him because she produced that Don't Worry Darling. Yep.

And it was all a bit Dodge at the time because of the power dynamic. Yep. Oh, I remember now. Have you seen that film? I haven't even seen it. I actually enjoyed it. I mean, I love Florence Pugh.

I think she's good. You didn't like it? I haven't watched it. Oh, you haven't watched it? There's a twist. And do you know what? I like a film with a twist. Yeah.

I think twist me up. Well, that's my problem with Challengers. I think Challengers wasn't twisty enough. The end flopped for me. Me too. I loved it. I thought it was pacey. I thought it was clever. I thought it was a bit weird. She I loved it. I thought it was pacey. I thought it was clever.

I thought it was a bit weird. She's a film director now. It was pacey. It had tempo. The script was really strong. It did. Your boyfriend didn't get it though. He just kept going,

why is the music so loud? He was like, that was a stylistic choice, Rory. No, no. We sat down, the three of us, to watch Challengers and he was like,

they started playing tennis and he was like, I thought it was going to be loads of snogging. That's what the trailer brought, loads of snogging. And then he went off to get some water and he was like, tell me when they're snogging. Yeah, tell me when they're snogging. He just basically wanted to watch porn, but in like a PG way.

I just watched it as well and it was really, it was an interesting film. It's an interesting film. The end is really a flop. I don't think I'd ever watch it again. No. Do you know what? I kind of might watch it again, but like not expecting anything from the end. And then I think there's loads to see and to unpick.

Yeah, probably, yes. But like the end, I just will expect nothing. Yeah, yeah. I was kind of waiting for something and that something is probably more nuanced than we can be asked to think about. I hate it when that happens, actually. Yeah, like when what?

Do you want me to take notes and write a dissertation throughout and then I'll understand what the point was? I think that about films in general, like that film, Inception, I just think, listen, you're trying to mass market this here.

90% of people aren't going to get this. What was the other one? Because Inception was a little bit more mainstream because it's like Blue Pill, Red Pill or whatever it is.

That's the Matrix. The one of him in space. That's Interstellar. Is it Interstellar? Inception is in space. Interstellar is the one where it's just him for the whole film.

One man for the whole film. Matt Damon. Sure. All of them are the same. They're all with Brad Pitt or Matt Damon. Why is it always them? Why is it always them?

In space. They just love space. And I just think, listen, you go to space, you either come back or you don't. That's pretty much the story.

If someone said, here's a ticket, I wouldn't go. You wouldn't go? To live on Mars. Oh, to live on Mars? No way. To go to space for...

To do an orbit. To go to space for 30 days. No, 100 days. No, not for 100 days. Wouldn't do it for 100 days. Okay, do you want me to tell you something really interesting? Yeah. I, right, okay.

This is a little, something that people won't know about me. I went right, okay, this is a little, something that people won't know about me. I went in lockdown on a Tim Peake, like, deep, deep dive.

We do know that about you because you told us about that bloody light exhibition or whatever you went through. What did you go to? No, that's different. Walking up Mal on the Moon?

Yeah, it was called, that was Tim Peake, wasn't it? You were really into him for a bit. that was Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks was the narrator. Tim Peake's the astronaut.

No, I know, I know, but when you went to that thing, I must undo my belt, I can't breathe. I hate clothes, I astronaut. No, I know, I know, but when you went to that thing, I must undo my belt, I can't breathe. I hate clothes, so I actually ate them.

I'd rather be naked. I'm going to move to a nudist colony. Anyway, what was that thing you went to about space? Yeah, yeah, it was about space, but it was narrated by Tom Hanks. But it was about Tim Peake.

No, it was about Neil Armstrong. Oh, good. Okay, fine. Whatever, move on. Anyway, Tim Peake is like the first British astronaut in like a really long time or like the first of something to do,

to go to the International Space Station. He's written this book called Limitless. Why did I stop talking to you about this? Because you wanted to tell us something interesting. When you go to space, your joints, you know, you get like five inches taller because you have- Yes, you grow. Yeah, and like all these weird-

Because there's no gravity pushing you down. All these weird things happen to you in space that like when you come back, like sometimes people find it like difficult to like have a wee again and stuff because like your body like changes a lot, obviously, when you're under the influence of zero gravity. Sorry, get the short kings to space.

That's genius. Put it on your hinge profile. In space, I'm 6'5". Genius. Genius. How do you wee in space? You have to actually... I don't know how girls do it,

but I know that men, they have to put their like really inside like a proper tube. But like do you wee in space you have to actually i don't know how girls do it but i know that men they have to put their like willy inside like a proper tube but like when you wee obviously it doesn't go down like the wee just like floats inside wow it's really there are loads and loads of like documentaries about it's actually really really fascinating you need to pick up that fascination again and like when they wash their hair have you seen a woman wash her hair in space never it is no more niche thing to type into google woman washing hair in space so they put this like bag on their head

yeah and they spray the water but obviously the water then like is like everywhere so you have to like somehow like get the water like it's like a game of like bounce

wow you've like bounced the water back into your head to be fair I'd probably just let it go I'd probably just grease it up in space I'd probably not be asked

not for six months I might it might you know, that natural oil thing might start happening where your hair's just super silky. Oh, yeah. Maybe that was what I would do.

Anyway, welcome to Leave a Message. Welcome to Leave a Message. Got a bit of a theme of cheating, have we? For the first one. Or have I just made that up? It's a mixed bag. We've got a little mixed bag. Is there a bit of cheating?

Sprinkle a bit of cheating in. There's some cheating. Oh, thank God. There's always some cheating. Listen, there a little mixed bag. Is there a bit of cheating? Sprinkle a bit of cheating in. There's some cheating. Oh, thank God. There's always some cheating. Listen, there's always some cheating. There's always some cheating. What was I saying? Oh, I was talking to Hals yesterday about this. We were talking about all the things that should be illegal that aren't. And we did say, getting divorced

before your kids hit 18 should be illegal. Oh, my parents would be banged up. They'd be banged up because look at you, you're dealing with that collateral sale. No, no, no, I actually don't agree. Sorry, I'd like to challenge your legal, your lawmaking skills. Go on.

I really believe that if you grow up in a household with unhappy parents... It's worse than a divorce. ...who hate each other, they're both bad. Yeah. But like, it's hard to quantify. If my parents would hate each other if they stayed together

I just think the laws around having children are a bit loose yeah I agree how do we tighten down on that anybody can just

go out whether you hate each other love each other and make a baby and I just think no because these adults they're then paying for therapy

they're fucked and they're treating other people badly because that's what happens because we've all got baggage from horrible parents. And we've all got daddy issues. And I just think,

can we not get it in line? Can you not? Look at how, this is why I was thinking about it because I just watched Lost Boys and the Fairies. Have you seen it on BBC? No. Oh my God, I sobbed.

It's a three-parter about a gay couple adopting a child. The amount of hoops they have to jump through. I could go out on a Friday night and get knocked out. I don't have to fill out any forms. I don't have to be interviewed. I'm just saying. Maybe there's something to be said about that.

Should we get a voice note? What do you want to call them? Annie. Annie. Annie. Orphan Annie. Really good. Hi, galleys.

Hope you're both doing well. This isn't actually one of my stories, but I wanted to send in a voice note anyway. So my uncle, he was actually married into the family. Thank God he's not blood related. Anyway, he worked away from home, flying back and forth for work. We didn't really think anything of it. Anyway, it turns out that he actually had an affair whilst out there with quite a younger woman. at the time him and my auntie were married with two children under 10 um and as someone looking into their marriage it always looked perfect however he was probably cheating for about two years straight and I don't think

he would have ever told my auntie if she didn't find out the way she did. Anyway, she was just going through his laptop, like nothing untrustworthy, just doing her own thing. As she opened it up, there was emails on the screen and it was conversations back and forth between him and her. And I think they were quite sexual. So she spoke spoke to him they ended up getting a divorce but he actually kept everything he kept the house that they were already living in everything was fine for him whereas for her she had to kind of start a whole new life um because he was very manipulative I mean he is very manipulative and a selfish man and yeah I mean would you say in that situation to make your children happier? I mean, obviously, the children don't actually know what happened. They just think

they got divorced. Obviously, they're still quite young. But what would you do in that situation? Love you. Bye. Love you, babe. Oh, dear, babe. And I'm sorry for your auntie. I've got many things to say. Well, welcome to the divorce club. Well, number one, babe, she needs to get Sheila on the phone. Well, about the rules, I was going to say about that. Al's mum is an expert, not only because she went through a divorce. She's also a divorce lawyer, and she's worked on

hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of divorce cases. And she would not be having you sat without the house, would she? She wouldn't be having her. If he's the cheater, there's no way. Well, the thing is, in a court of law, cheating doesn't really, isn't really a,

not in my governing body. No, it's a reason for a divorce. It's like a reason to leave. But it's not like a reason to claim more than, yeah. Because she has stood by her vows and in the house of God, where she was married,

when she said, in sickness and in health, I will not cheat on you. Is that in the vows? It should be. It is. I think we need to write it in the vows. I think it's in the health. In goodness and in... I don't think that not cheating is in vows. If you get married, we're writing it in. Let's check

that. Oh my God, I don't think it is. I was having this conversation yesterday with George Pearce and he was saying he doesn't really want to wear a wedding ring and I said, you best believe when you leave this house, you're putting a wedding ring on. I don't really care because I just think like... Girls notice things like that. No, but you're going to listen. If a man's going to cheat,

he's going to cheat whether he's wearing a wedding ring or not. But the girls might not. We hope and pray. Yeah, but it also... As in they might see the ring and be a bit like, oh, I probably want to suck your dick. But that's actually more of an issue. If the other girl...

If the man is thinking about cheating... Yeah. And it's only the thing that's stopping him is the ring. Well, the only barrier to sunburn, sun cream. And you still wear it. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

Every thing you can do to stop the burn. Go on, Rohana. In vows, they don't promise to not have sexual partners. Yeah. But it is implied by the word faithful. Faithful. That is is implied by the word faithful. Faithful. That is heavily implied, actually.

I think I would say that's what that means. To be faithful. To be, yeah, okay. Come on. Not to be shagging around with someone on email. How embarrassing to be sending sexual emails. It's disgusting. At least like do a WhatsApp message or something.

Like an encrypted app that no one's ever going to see. If you're going to cheat, sometimes I think people want to be found out. I think that all the time. I really do. They know what they're doing is wrong and they don't know how to say it. And so they basically like wait until it all blows up in their face. Yeah. Yeah.

I mean, obviously in that situation, I would struggle to like look him in the eye and move on. No, I think her question was, what would struggle to like look him in the eye and move on. I think her question was what would you do if you had kids and would you choose to tell your children that their father, this was me by the way.

Well, she said, would you stay? But yeah, also an interesting question. Would you tell your kids? Okay, do you want to know my real story? Yeah.

We didn't know that my dad had cheated. Yeah. And I never knew until I was like, my dad left when I was like seven or eight. And I never knew until I was like, my dad left when I was like seven or eight.

And the only reason I know is because I was at Sabrina's house when I was like, I must have been 13 or 14. And her mum

made a passing comment that was like, obviously my mum had told, like my mum was friends with them and Alison would have assumed that you knew

that I knew and she made I couldn't I can't even remember what the comment was now but it's quite hard at the time to explain that to like an

eight year old no and I think my mum did the right thing by trying to protect us but like imagine so what did she say

about the catty comment about your dad it wasn't even catty it was just like something about the fact that I can't I really couldn't tell another woman

yeah about the fact that he'd had, I really couldn't tell you. Another woman. Yeah, about the fact that he'd had an affair. And I honestly remember, you know when something like hits you? Yeah. You don't hear anything. Yeah. And then, yeah. But I think we were so young. I think if you have young kids,

your job is primarily to protect them. And I don't think that information is helpful. Also, listen, I really, I know we always bang on about like cheating scumbags and like men can be cheating scumbags, but I also...

And women, sadly. Yeah. But I also think, and this is really, I don't know why I'm saying this, this is very unlike me to say this. I think, sadly,

if you have children with someone, you have to separate your hatred with them from them being a father or a mother to your children. Because, like, they can... It doesn't necessarily... They could be a bad partner and a good...

Yeah. Bad partner, good father. Yeah, bad partner, good parent. Yeah. And... But, yeah, you've got to be quite a big person to be able to swallow all of that. Because that's the thing.

Because, like I said, like, about, like, divorce and, like, waiting until the kids are 18. Obviously, yeah, you're right. You quite a big person to be able to swallow all of that. Because that's the thing. Because like I said, like about like divorce and like waiting until the kids are 18. Obviously, yeah, you're right. You could only do that if the environment in which you lived wasn't hostile. Because a hostile environment is just as painful as your parents living separately. Also, so many of my friend's parents

who got divorced after 18 were like, we all knew it. They were literally waiting. Waiting for the kids to leave. It's obvious. You hate each other. Just do it. Painful. Painful. It's mad,'s mad isn't it how one day i might have said this before but one day you can look at someone in the eye and be like i love you and i will spend the rest of my life with you

and then what you can't even make tea in the in the kitchen and you're gonna fight me over the house and like it's you're gonna take my house yeah it. It's mental. It is mental. What is that? You just think someone needs to come in in that space and like, you know Supernanny? What's her name? Jo. You want Jo to come in and sit them both down like kids and be like, once upon a time.

That's what my mum does, kind of. Yeah. Before they get a divorce, my mum would do that. She's a legend in the game. The problem is, like, it's so hard to, especially if you've got kids, it's so hard to trace the root of the problem. Like, what, like, it's so hard to, especially if you've got kids, it's so hard to trace the root of the problem.

Like, what, you hate each other, but why? Because he never does the bit, that's not why you hate each other. You know? The little things.

The little things. Oh, death by a thousand cuts. It's worse than one big blow. Every time. That'll get you. That's a pretty big blow, though, him cheating on you and you finding the emails.

I, honestly, I, it's such an irrational fear, but I fear that so strongly. Really? I just think like loving someone, being with someone, being completely blindsided and seeing something like that, yeah, would be a fear of mine.

Babe, why do you think I've started the trust no one campaign? That is my whole reason. Imagine if you went onto Rory's laptop just to like look at flights for your holiday and you see

sexy big cheb 101 at hotmail.com pop up. And he's been sexting her.

It's actually bringing tears to my eyes. The shock. Really? Would you not be horror shocked? I would be. I shock. Really? The horror. Would you not be horror shocked? I would be. I would...

There might be death. Yeah. You're real. I would burn him to the ground. I would burn everything that he loves to the ground. And that is me to my core. I just think... The problem is...

I'd help you, babe. You can't prevent people from doing it. That's actually half the problem. All you can do is hope. Yeah. And also maintain some trusting no one. Trust is blind. Right.

Well, blind-ish. All you can do is just hope. God fucking hope and pray. But, you know, if it happens, it's done. You can't, like, there's no, like, fixing cheating. You either stay and forgive them or you leave. Or you move on. And burn them down to the ground. Yeah, in the process. There's no like fixing cheating. You either stay and forgive them or you leave. Or you move on. And burn them down to the ground.

Yeah, in the process. There's no grey. We actually don't, obviously, recommend violence. But at the same time, I think burning things is therapeutic. And back in the day,

in the Viking days, they would have really encouraged it. So I think maybe it's fine. Or get a tennis racket. We were saying this. Yeah, because of Challengers. We were like, because Al normally takes it on the recycling,

which is just not as good. No, it's guitar or a racket yes much better let it all out babe better fill your anger make this autumn the tastiest season yet with farm fresh produce and easy autumn inspired recipes delivered right to your door with HelloFresh. Whip up tasty restaurant style meals in your own kitchen without the high price tag of takeout and in less time than it takes to get delivery. Babe, honestly, HelloFresh has saved me so many times and now my in-laws think I can actually cook even though all I've done is followed the recipe and had the ingredients delivered to my door. But babe, you are cooking. It's absolutely genius. And also, it's not like you're going to be stuck doing one recipe that you're good at because there's variety from HelloFresh.

There's so much choice. Come on. You can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com slash free Ali G applied across seven boxes. New subscribers only varies by plan that's 10 free hellofresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com slash freeallyg you're welcome before we continue with this week's episode of leave a message if you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything.

Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Voice note number two. Hi, absolutely love the pod. Listen to it every Sunday at work. It is the only thing that keeps me going so thank you both for that basically i'm 19 and my partner's 22 and we've been together

for just over two years and for the longest time we've both gotten on really well with both of our families however in september just gone we decided to take his mother on holiday to italy and it's important to mention that her partner left just over two years ago. And ever since then, her son has been helping her out financially. So this holiday was fully paid for by my partner and myself. However, we started to notice immediately when sitting on the Ryanair flight that she was beginning to complain. This carried on throughout the entire holiday.

The Airbnb wasn't nice enough. The bar wasn't nice enough. The Airbnb wasn't nice enough. The bar wasn't nice enough. The food wasn't nice enough. Nothing seemed to be good enough. Obviously, all of the sly comments started to annoy my partner, but we carried on until the last day, which resulted in them two having a massive argument outside of McDonald's. We all agreed that we should just carry on with the day

as we had rented a mini boat to go on the lake and it was the final day of our holiday and we just wanted to enjoy it. As the instructor is taking us over to our boat she refuses to come. Then we get back to the UK. She doesn't speak to us until a month after in which she wants to speak to her son alone which is fairly reasonable. Where I then discover she has a big long list of everything that I did wrong on the holiday and this was her excuse for the behavior the first one was that when me and her went to a toilet in a restaurant I didn't wait for her to come out the toilet for us then to both go back to the table together second one is that when we go out to eat or whatever, that because her son sits next to me and not next to her. Anyway, so you get the vibe. However,

many months later, things are starting to get back to normal. However, she has never apologized to me about any of this or even mentioned it to me at all. I'd also like to say that my partner was on my side in all of this, but the truth is I still don't trust that she likes me or wants me around am i being insecure and cautious and should i just get over it or do you think that my trust issues are justified thank you jesus christ sorry mums and sons do you want to shag him sheila bloody hell so i didn't mean to use your mom's name that i've also written um mums and sons why Why, you suck him off then. You clean up our Grimsdale. It's boring.

What is it with mums and their sons? Obsession. Even Becky, who did our nails, she was like, my mum is just obsessed with my brother. I was like, she and I talk about this all the time. Why? Why don't you go out with your son then? Is it because you didn't pick the right man

to be your partner? And so then you've like tried to make your son the man you would have wanted to be with. So now you like low-key fancy him in a weird way. I don't know what that dynamic is. No, I think it's that mums can often see a lot of themselves in their daughters. Like, you know, when like your own daughter

can like snap at you and you think, God, it's like looking in a mirror. Yeah, the ugly parts. Yeah. But maybe with sons, they don't get it. So they're trying to like, you know, like cherry, I don't know.

It's so weird. They love them. I've written here, ungrateful cow. Ungrateful. Because she is an ungrateful cow. Cheeky bitch. Sorry.

Maybe she felt a bit proud. Maybe she was embarrassed that they paid for the whole thing. But then don't say yes to coming on holiday. Say thank you for the calamari and move on. What the fuck? She wants to sit next to her son.

Oh, this is the thing. Hand on his lap. What's wrong with you, Barbara? You've just spent a whole week together in Italy, babe. It's disgusting. Do you want to sleep in the bed with us too? Do you want to have a threesome? Do you know what I mean?

It's too much. It's actually too much. And I'm sorry, I hate to imply incest because I know it's not that. It's an admiration thing. They put their sons on pedestals but why? because they've like

created them and they're like love them they're good looking and tall and so boring I think the thing about sons actually

and I can't say this as a mother of a son but I'm going to say it anyway I think with daughters you feel like oh they'll always be in my life but with sons

when they get older you feel like they might feel like oh I'm losing them and so I'm like they're like desperately trying always be in my life. But with sons, when they get older, you feel like, they might feel like, oh, I'm losing them. And so I'm like, they're like desperately trying to claw on to Penny last. Also, I think you do understand the power a woman has in a man's life. 100%. Like, if your daughter-in-law doesn't like you,

you best believe you won't be holding the grandkids and you won't be around for Christmas. You know what I mean? But then I also think, well, why has she burnt the bridge with you? Listen, babe. Bizarre behaviour, babe. I'm going to say now, you will never, ever, ever win with this woman. Ever. but then I also think well why has she burnt the bridge with you listen babe bizarre behaviour babe I'm gonna say now you will never

you will never ever ever win with this woman ever so you can either very interesting conversation with our manager I won't name which one

about this about ooh pick from three in-laws and only two of them are getting married ooh 50-50

one of them lives with their in-laws and loves them so oh god you're so right horrible um she said basically she has a difficult relationship with her in-laws and she was like i know that i will never win and that they will never change so the only option is for you or for her to like change the way that she thinks feels and responds to them or you just will never have a relationship and like and if your partner has a good relationship with their

parents then it's probably like you know not your duty but it's part of your partnership to them to maybe not make their relationships with their parents more difficult find elsewhere to vent about it because like it's not going to be helpful for you to talk to him about how much of a cow his mum is yeah it's awkward that isn't it so like even if he's on your side he probably does already know she's being a cow so it's like you're putting him in an even more impossible position and also it's one of those isn't it it's like if your mum's a cow you're a bit like i can say that but yeah no one else can yes do you know what i mean yes and he can stand up for you as much as he wants,

but he's also at the mercy of that weird mum-son dynamic. And he's also being like mollycoddled by his mum. And his mum wants to sit next to him, which is odd, I know. I just would say, listen up, Karen. You've got some serious fucking problems. I've got a number for a therapist. Would you like me to pass it on to you?

Yeah. You must go and see someone. Why must you sit next to him at every dinner? It's bizarre. Do you know what I had with my ex? He wasn't very good with his parents. He was really distant. And then you had to do the work. I just brought him closer so then I always won. It was amazing. You need someone

that doesn't have a great relationship with their parents. Then you build them together and then you're golden bollocks. Good. Can I say really quickly about the toilet thing? Yeah. Something I struggle with often. What? Do you wait and hang around for the person in the toilet or do you leave?

Okay. Because that's actually, I often stand there on the sink and I'm like, I've already blow dried my hands, they're still there, what are they doing in there? Oh my gosh, shall I wait? Is it awkward that I'm waiting? It depends the level of friend. Yeah, because would you shout, Get back to the table!

If it was you, I would say, yeah, I'd say, babe, I'm going to the table. Babe, it's taking ages, get back to the table? If it was you, I would say, yeah, I'd say, babe, I'm going to the table. Babe, you're taking ages, I'm going back.

Your poo's taking far too long. I can smell it. But, if it was like, an acquaintance, you would wait. I would probably wait. See,

I think I'm, if it was an acquaintance, they might leave, because I might think, I'll leave you in peace. Leave you in peace. Oh, then it's,

especially if it's an acquaintance, where like, you know, sometimes you go places, and the walk from the bathroom to the table just feels like three hours long. So long. You just think, oh it's, especially if it's an acquaintance, where like, you know, sometimes you go places and the walk from the bathroom to the table just feels like three hours long. So long. You just think, oh my God, isn't the food so nice?

Also, what if you're waiting outside the door and they're waiting inside? Oh, bad! Oh, then you've got it all wrong. Oh, it's all horrible. You must agree as you approach the toilet. No, no, if it's an acquaintance, you wouldn't agree though.

That's half the problem. You wouldn't say, after my piss, I'll wait outside for you. No, I know what I'd say. When I go in to the bathroom, okay, you've got to say, you wouldn't agree, though. You wouldn't say, after my piss, I'll wait outside for you. No, I know what I'd say. When I go in to the bathroom, okay, you've got to say, see you back at the table. See you back at the table.

Bland. If you happen to... Sounds a bit like you're off to do a poo, but who cares? Don't wait for me. See you back at the table. I'll be a while. I'll be a while. I wouldn't wait if I were you.

I wouldn't hang around. I'd go and run over if I were you. I'll get a nose plug if I were you I'll get a nose plug if I were you I hate going to the toilet with someone I don't know especially when it's the ones and this happens to me a lot

when I have especially when you go to a posh dinner and you have to hold in your fart and then you go to the loo and it's not even like sorry what not posh dinner are you jumping at

no thank you no no when you go to a posh dinner yes at any dinner can you not fart at the table I would sit at the dinner table with you and Trump

babe horrific last weekend in drive through no I was in the car Yes. At any dinner, can you not farce at the table? I would sit at the dinner table with you and Trump. Babe! Horrific. Last weekend, in drive-thru. No, I was in the car. I'm not in a restaurant. What's the difference? A lot.

People, mainly. It's just me and you, babe. Poor me. Shall we have number three? Hello, galleys. My story for you is about the lovely guy that I will be calling Rat Boy.

This is my ex-boyfriend of three years. We broke up a year ago. Prior to our breakup, we had festival tickets booked for Reading Festival. And we had to do the awkward thing of who gets tickets, blah, blah, blah. They were in his name. I had paid him the £300 for who gets tickets blah blah blah they were in his name i had paid him the 300 pounds for these tickets and i wanted my money because i didn't want to go and so he was humming high he was like oh i don't know if i'm going or not yeah i need to find someone i was

like okay well can you advertise my ticket for sale because i want my money and it got to the point where he ignored me enough that the like the time where you could sell it on Ticketmaster had gone and then I find out from my friend that he's taking his friend which was my friend's boyfriend at the time to said festival I didn't know this and I was like that's fine but I want my money where where's my money for my ticket? Because while you guys are gallivanting around at Reading doing God knows what, whatever class A drugs that you feel like, I'm stuck in a supermarket

getting shouted at by old ladies. So I was like, can I have my money? And I just get a message of, I'm broke right now. You'll get the money when I have it. Bit rude seeing as it's my ticket. I want the money. Three months after the the festival i still don't have my money i was like i've tried the nice guy tried the bad guy we're gonna bring in the dad so my dad went to his place of work

um which is a like a street food vendor thing he was working there was about 20 customers outside and he said in front of all these customers when you're gonna pay my daughter 300 pounds you owe her oh my god obviously he was very embarrassed don't talk about like why are you doing it here and he was said that apparently i owed him 200 pounds because he did two shifts a year prior when we were together at my old job and he never got the wages from it. Girls, I can't remember ever owning a business. If not, I wouldn't be working in a supermarket right now. I would be loaded and I'd be having a great time. My question for you, girls, is how do I get my money back? And if Ratboy is listening, I would like my £300 right now. Much love and I love listening, I would like my £300 right now.

Much love. And I love listening to you guys. You're amazing. Bitch better have my money. Sorry. No, you do not give up. Oh, I don't agree. You think you give up?

I don't think it's giving up. I just think you could bang your head against the wall for three years with this boy, with Ratboy, trying to get you £300. And I think it's her money. Sometimes in life, babe, sometimes in life when you go,

like, you know, you go through a divorce, you lose a house. £7 an hour you've saved to get three, 300 quid is a lot of money. No, no, no, I know. I'm not saying, I'm not for a second saying it's not a lot of money, but I think given the circumstances

of him being an actual piece of shit, you're not going to get it. Unless you literally go to HSBC or Barclays or wherever he keeps his money and report him as a fraudster. That is my only, I've written him, report him to the bank. Well, now you've mentioned it, might I say

I went to book an Airbnb yesterday whose card details were saved. Collins, I was quite tempted to put my Airbnb on there. So maybe in your browser history, he's once upon a time bought something for you, booked a trip. You should take the money, babe. It's yours.

You've got his card dates. I don't know, spend it in ASOS. Do you know what I mean? If you've got it saved on your... Or like Amazon, sometimes they buy things on. Right, you've got to think outside the box. You could send him a Monzo link. Then he just has to to think outside the box. You could send him a Monzo link. Then he just has to tap on it and pay.

You could send him a PayPal request. Yes. You've got to start thinking outside the box. I mean, the dad was pretty outside the box. Or you could say... Bloody hell. Imagine. Imagine.

People would have thought he would have been praying for a prostitute. I'm sorry to say you've been knowing... The thing is... Wait, what? Because he was like, you haven't paid my daughter. Yeah. Yeah. For her good services.

As the lady of the night. As the lady of the night. All the day, whenever you want her. Yeah, whenever you want her. She comes at your beck and call. I think it's really awkward, isn't it?

And this is like a broader thing. Like money, I get really cross when people know they owe you money and they don't pay it and they wait for you to need to ask them because it's such a, especially as English people, we're really bad.

Like it's really uncomfortable to ask for money. Even like after a dinner, like you could literally, the amount of times I could have been like, oh, I just won't ask. But then think about how much money that is once it all adds up. Yeah, I agree. I do agree. With certain people it comes out in the wash and it's fine. Yes, yeah. Let the coffees go.

100%. Whatever. Because they're your people and you're together all the time and you're back and forward all the time. But for the acquaintances that you don't want to wait in the bathroom for. Do you know what I mean? Or like, every time you go for dinner with them, there's that one friend that you're like, you haven't sent me that 40 quid again. And it's like, that is a lot of money now.

And I'm actually, I know it's petty, but I'm going to ask you for it out of principle now. But the problem is if you've asked and your dad's asked and he's still saying no, I just think... For peace of mind to just... Let bygones be bygones. And we say this all the time. It's harder when you're a bit younger

because like, you know, when you are working the job that is like and you save and like it's like that thing that you bought and that you waited for and you save for and then like

it's so it's unfair also it does become like a principle thing it's like it is my money and also surely the guy you're taking paid for the ticket

I would just bypass him if it's your friend's boyfriend I'd just be like did you pay him the money for the ticket because you need to ask for it back and you need to pay it directly to me

because he is making money off your breakup and that is just a bit petty I mean listen breakups are messy and Al's right

I kept a lot of stuff that weren't really mine do you know what I mean I don't know I just think especially that's a really clear division of a thing

it's different isn't it when someone's got you a present and division of a thing. It's different, isn't it? When someone's got you a present and you're a bit like, no, you can't have your AirPods back. Obviously, you bought them for me. I always think that about these girls and their big fat engagement rings. Do you think the men are asking back?

Maybe they're Birkins. What are they doing about that? Oh, no, the Birkins, definitely he hasn't got a claim on them. No way. No way. Once you've handed it over, it's theirs.

It's mine. Yeah. And I'll be making, I'll be cashing in 100 grand off that Birkin. I guess they do an Emma Rutter Jaskowski or whatever and just turn it into a divorce ring. No, yeah and I'll be making up a cash in a hundred grand off that book I guess they do an Emma Ratajkowski or whatever and just turn it into a divorce ring

no no I think an engagement ring is just no but I bet you some men ask for it back I bet you oh I bet give it to the next yeah

imagine imagine I'm sorry you didn't get to go to Reading I've got this problem don't worry about it there's a concert I really want to go to

that my ex bought me tickets for it's in October I don't know whether we could go together have you got the have you got the me and you he's got them or you and him in October. I don't know whether we could go together. Have you got the me and you? Or you and him? Me and him. I wouldn't even need to look at him. I just want to go.

I think that is, sorry. What if it's standing? Then we wouldn't even see each other. I'd go alone. You'd be on your own, yeah. He doesn't want to go. Has he still got the tickets? Surely. He might have sold them. He's probably sold them. Yeah. Babe, also we might be able to get some free ones. I know. I'm going to try so hard. Honestly, we want to get Chris Stapleton

tickets. I want to go and see Chris Stapleton and it was the best present ever and then I really considered it when we were breaking up. I was like, should I wait? Can I do another year? Or should I put it in the breakup clause? You have to give me the tickets. I'm going to break your heart but you have to give me. Babe, maybe you're right. Maybe what we're lacking

in this world is paperwork. A contract. Yes. We have a contract. We have a contract? We have this world is paperwork. A contract. My mum... Yes. God. We have a contract. We have a contract? We have a very serious contract. Okay, actually, babe. Okay, listen. I don't think that cheating should be illegal because, listen, people are going to be people

and people are going to cheat. What I do think should be illegal is entering into a parenting situation with someone, a sexual relationship with anyone. A working relationship. That you haven't signed a contract with. I agree. My mum always,

my mum bangs on about prenups. Honestly, that's why. We want prenup. What's the facts around prenup? Like, are they just like invalid? I've heard that a lot of times. They're not, they're not like legally binding.

Right. So it's not like a contract where like if we didn't get paid by a company, we could sue them. It's not quite the same level of law. Right. But it is still like, if you've both signed on the dotted line

and you've agreed to these terms, it would be quite hard. It would stand up in your divorce procedures. 100%. It would be quite hard for you to then turn around and say, well, I never agreed to that because you did. You signed it. What date do you work out on?

Do you reckon date five, the contract? Or do you wait a bit? Do you have to wait? It's a very interesting conversation because lots of people, I mean, they're really quite common now, but lots of people take real issue with it prenups yeah because it's like i can't believe that you would ever think that we would i know and they get insulted but i actually think that you should have it for most if you're in a long-term relationship and you're gonna have a baby with someone do you want to know something

yeah this is my mom's, another one of her big things about dying on the hill of. If you're in a cohabiting relationship and you've got children together and you're not married, you have zero legal rights. If your husband leaves and takes the kids

with all the money and you've got nothing, you can't claim a penny. Especially girls, if you haven't been working because you're with the babies. Nothing. You honestly are owed

not a penny. And you can't let yourself get in that with the babies. Nothing. You honestly are owed not a penny. And you can't let yourself get in that situation, girls. Yeah. Never. Yeah. Never. Even if you're not married,

sign a contract. Sign a contract. Sign a shareholders agreement. Put it in chat GPT. We could put you in our template. Yeah, we'll put our template on Instagram, not to worry. Just sign away

because that is just not right. Yeah. All these fuckers out there getting away with all of this stuff. This is why I think I know what you're saying and I actually do appreciate what you're saying

because I also do think like karma comes back around and that money will come to you in other ways. Money comes, money goes. But also it is the principle of it. It's like it is your money and you're not going to Reading

and you do deserve that money back and also you tried to get them on Ticketmaster. Could have both had your money back if he wasn't so lazy. Listen, he was heartbroken, babe. I think you just need

to hate him for a while. Do some voodoo shit on his doll or something. You know, really hate him and, you know, hope that the money spider, like, you know,

I think if your dad going to his work didn't work, you're probably like pretty. I honestly would though. I mean, that is stealing. I can't believe

I've just recommended that. But I would just look to see if his details are saved on your laptop. Couldn't believe it. I don't think that's stealing. I do that with her all can't believe I've just recommended that but I would just look to see if his details are saved on your laptop couldn't believe it I don't think that's stealing I do that with her all the time

got Colin's Amex I just think I sometimes put my Zara stuff on our shared Amex that's different because you cohabit with him and you do suck his dick from time to time

oh once a year I do none of that none of that if you do that you're fine because payment is payment do you know what I mean yeah

we did this the other day sorry we went for lunch. We didn't even go for lunch. We've just got an obsession with creating our own Joe and the Juice panini. And so we were buying all the ingredients

and Al's just like, Al has about 55 cards on her phone. She's just flicking through them. She's like, I'll rock and get this one. We're like, ah, yeah. He didn't even ask.

He didn't even ask. He wouldn't even know. Really good. Yeah, he just directed a bit. Ding, ah, yeah. He didn't even ask. He didn't even ask. He wouldn't even know. Really good. Yeah, he just direct debit. Ding. Ding, ding. Should we do a roundup? Yeah, debrief.

Debrief. Annie number one. Thanks, sorry, for watching Drive Thru. Forget that people do that. So fun. Oh my God, so fun. That's crazy. Oh my God.

Oh my God. So good. You find your hubby's cheating via email. No, it's not her story. No, no, no, I know, but I'm being the auntie. Sorry, I was in first person of the auntie. Great. I was being method.

Cheating, but you've got kids. Would you say, sorry, I didn't ask you, would you stay in her situation? You don't think you would? Really? I actually reckon I'd give it a go. I find forgiveness so difficult. You're talking to the right person, babe.

I just think like that for me, it's just a bit like, oh, gross. Like, I don't do that to you. So come up to the standard or don't. The one with the bitchy stepmother, mother-in-law. Oh, yeah.

Babe, just listen. Honestly, if I were you, as a gobby shite 19-year-old, I would have given her a piece of my mind, if I'm honest with you. I would have just said, if she was like, oh, the Airbnb's not very nice,

I'd be like, well, what's wrong with it? What's the problem with it? Or you'd just be like, don't worry, Carol, next time you can book it. And pay for it. That'd be really nice, Carol. So, pass. Shut up, you silly bitch.

Number three. Love that you called him Rat Boy. Yeah. Because I was Shut up, you silly bitch. Number three. Love that you called him Rat Boy. Yeah, because I was thinking... About Roden Boys. Yes, very on brand. Well done. But they're having a bit of a comeback, so it's not actually an insult anymore, Rat. Just want to say.

That boy is kind of a compliment. My honest opinion on the money is you kind of got to let it go, babe. Money comes, money goes. And also, the more energy and emotional time that you give to chasing that money he's still in your life and ideally you want to expel him from your life and if that means sacrificing your hard-earned 300 pounds maybe that's what you got to do sometimes we have to do things we don't want to do and you getting your money back not getting your money

back might be one of those things maybe you could set a yearly alarm to go off on the weekend of Reading every year and that weekend you can just try. You get one text a year. Okay, my other thing... To send the Monzo link. The last thing is ask him to set up a direct debit for £2 a month. Yeah, and say it's just a coffee, babe.

Not like 150 months. Yeah. Okay, well, thanks everyone for listening. Thanks so much for listening. That was so fun and so good and sorry we had so much to say. Can't stop us. Please leave us a message. The link is in the

episode notes and in our bio and we will see you next week. Thanks for listening. Love you, bye. Thank you.