Leave A Message with Ally & G - 20 - Keeping It In The Family (& Other Worrying Trends)

Episode Date: July 17, 2024

Four days might not sound like a lot, but for Ally & G the past week has felt like being in a long-distance relationship! That making this weeks episode of Leave A Message a long-time-coming reunion. When it comes to the dishes being served by the Gallies - we're asking: What do you call it when you and your partners parents fall in love and get married? And if that wasn't wild enough, how about faking a pregnancy to trap your teenage boyfriend in the relationship? As always, there's nothing off limits on Leave A Message! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We are rolling. Hello everybody, we're so happy today because we haven't seen each other for four whole days. It's been four whole days. And we have so much to catch up on. Go on, how was your weekend? Yeah, it was um, if anyone saw me at Ascot, babe. Ali would like to publicly apologise. No, I actually wouldn't

because I actually was on great, great form and like all these girls in the car park, all these guys in the car park were coming up being like, oh my God, I love your TikTok and it was so sweet. I saw these two girls see me and then whisper to each other like, she smiled at me

and I wanted to like run and be like, hi guys. And your big orange meringue was coming towards towards them I couldn't get there fast enough because I was in so my dress was so huge um you hot it was actually the perfect perfect weather but then also all these three girls messaged me being like I was dancing right next to you and I didn't want to bother you because you looked like you were just like having the best time and I was like right next to you and I didn't want to bother you because you looked like you were just like having the best time. And I was like,

I replied being like, you should have said hi. I mean, I was having the time of my life. I wouldn't have known if like fucking Barack Obama was standing next to me. You'd have just, right over your head. Wouldn't have known.

Wouldn't have known. But she's been on her hen. Not her hen. Steph's hen. Guys, final hen of the summer. Clicks for me. How many did I do? Four, that was four.

Do you know what I was thinking? It's a really bad ratio. Two brides to four hens. It's not good. It's not gone well for me, has it, that? No. I said, I was talking to Jeej.

Jeej came round on Sunday and she said her friend's one of the, her friend's the first one getting married in their group. And she was like, she's going to do two hens. And Jeej was like, if everyone's going to fucking doing that,

I can't do it. No, I'm putting my foot down. No one is getting engaged this year to get married next year i think unless you really feel the like burning need to separate your family from your friends you get one hand one hand one little hand the thing is listen oh go on she's gonna tell us the thing once i got there i was a bit like oh do you like the sun well i'm grateful for the sun and the point to be here. But I suppose we could just do a little holiday. Yeah, babe, you could go. Yeah, right. Scrap the themes and the dick straws. To be fair, we had no dick anywhere, which I was upset about. I was actually the only single straight girl. My cousin's gay. She's single, but I can't go chasing dick with her. No dick? No dick anywhere. No dick straw.

No dick to look at. No stripper. No stripper? No stripper. Oh, dear. There was a lot of dicks at Nicky Beach. But I didn't want to touch them. But no, it was really fun.

When you see them walking around and you think, you are thus the world's biggest ick. No, guys. So Nicky Beach, right? We were a little bit out of the... They were not with the masses. She was in the reserved section. Yes, I was a bit further down. Closer to the beach, which I enjoyed.

I swam, because I just think... And there she was, saying... As I should do, locked in the sea. I didn't go in the pool. Oh, I did go in the pool. So, anyway... In that tiny bikini, babe, you went in the... I'm in the pool, my tiny cosy,

I'm having a good time. I'm looking around, I'm people watching. It that tiny bikini, babe, you went in the pool. I'm in the pool, my tiny cosy, I'm having a good time, I'm looking around, I'm people watching, it is fascinating. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. So there's some big dick swingers at the end of the pool, right?

They're right by the band. There's like a DJ and then there's like this steel drum band. They're like doing, you know, it's a bit like Bridgerton. They're like doing steel drums

with like techno songs. Anyway, these big dick swingers, they're like pulling girls in left, right and centre with their big old fake boobs. Fake jabs. Yeah, I think you can only get in if you've got fake boobs.

I wasn't going to look in. Do you want some tubes up there? No. Okay, I'll stay here. Do you want a pomegranate seed? Nothing. Nothing. So anyway, then suddenly,

there's all this like chaos. The music changes. It's Gimme Gimme A Man After Midnight. Of course. They pick up this girl that they 100% weren't together, as in they've been pulled into the boys' group. Right. They put her on this little boat, like a submarine boat.

They carry her on their shoulders, the staff, through the whole of Nicky Beach with flares going off and his country's flags rolling around the place. She then gets in the pool. Everyone has to move out the way. They swim her on this submarine. She's holding this huge magnum. Babe, have you made this up?

Bible, this is real. Steph's got a video. I'll get her to send it to you. Because we were fascinated. Send her then, like, almost like taking her away to her, like, you know, destiny of having to eventually shag this guy because he's just spent so much money

on a magnum. Then she has to get out. They all start popping the bottles. There's fizz everywhere. Everyone's covered in it. An absolute, like, extravaganza. Listen, if you're that girl with the fake chubs, great day out. Yeah, well, I saw them in the pool afterwards and the chat

was off and I thought, the poor girl, she's gone too far. Oh, she's gone too far. You know, you do that thing for a drink and then, you know, he went for the magnum and now you was off and I thought the poor girl she's gone too far oh she's gone too far you know you do that thing for a drink and then you know he went for the Magnum and now you've got to shag him because then that's the problem

with free drinks expect to shag well after that many yeah I went to the DJ booth a Magnum and Nicky Beach is 10 grand no babe

I went to the DJ booth it's actually not it's actually quite reasonable though I went to I think it depends what biz you get it's actually 85 but I went to the DJ booth and I what biz you get. So I went with

the DJ booth and I was like, do you request, song request? And he was like, that was the only way to get a song request. And I was like,

no way. I was like, how much? And he was like, three grand. Three grand to play a song and you've got to get a magnum of shit biz.

And you've got to get paraded on a submarine. Crazy. I wouldn't do that for a child. A magnum wouldn't do it for me. Sorry, the last thing I must say is that I actually think, babe, we must get stitched together.

Our sides must be stitched together because I also can't go anywhere. No, babe, absence makes the heart grow fonder. No, no, no, no. It's not about me. It's about everyone else in my whole life. Where's G? It's actually getting annoying now.

I know. Where is she? I'd love to meet her. Oh my God, she's... James, my friend, the ballet dancer James last night, it was so funny he was like she must be a great girl if you like her because fucking hell you don't like very many people it's true that is true i was asking every baby i'm not exaggerating every person came up to me is g here where's g i was like she's not in my fucking pocket I'm a person in my own right.

I'm brilliant. Talk to me. Do you not get that? No, fine. I actually am delighted. No one ever asked me where you are. Genuinely. That's fake news.

Genuinely. That's fake news, babe. With like a galley came up to me. No, like if like my actual friends. No, because they know where you are. Why would they say where are you? Because they know where I am

because I'm so fucking famous. Okay, should we go into the voice notes then? Yeah. That's what we're here for. What do you want to call the galleys? Did you meet any good ones

at Ascot that you want to use that record for? Oh, that testing me now on names? Oh, good. Oh. Oh, sorry, Rihanna,

you haven't introduced Rihanna, that's your job. You do it. Hi, good. Oh. Sorry, Rihanna, you haven't introduced me. Rihanna, that's your job. You do it. Hi, guys. Yeah, you do it. Good. On the spot. Go on.

Okay. She doesn't want to do it. She's shaking her head. She's shy. She's trying to be the international woman of mystery. She is, to be fair. You know someone said, get Rihanna in the back of the car.

Oh, everyone says that before. I know. You were gagging. Lots of people in our DMs when we said, get Rahana in the back of the car. Oh, everyone's desperate for it, I know. You were gagging. Lots of people in our DMs when we said, what kind of guests, like realistic guests, they were like Rahana, we want to see Rahana. And we said about our management and they were like, no, can you get Rahana in? Thanks guys. Okay, this is Leave a

Message. Yes, this is Leave a Message with Ali and G. I'm G, she's Ali. You'll often see us together, sometimes we'll be apart. Don't panic. If we aren't together, it's okay. The world won't end. This podcast solely revolves around your voice notes.

You send in your bullshit, we answer with more bullshit and that's really all it is. Really good. It's a bullshit generator. I like that. Get that in the bio. Really good.

So did you meet any gals? Did they have a name? Go on. Okay, this one girl, she was the first girl and that's why I remember it because I hadn't had that in the bio. Really good. So did you meet any guys? Did they have a name? Go on. Okay, this one girl, she was the first girl and that's why I remember it because I hadn't had that many drinks yet.

Good. Saskia. Saskia. Did you win any money, babe? I won £17.50 actually. Babe? Yeah, what did that get you? A single?

Without the tonic? I didn't pay for a single drink all day. That's the beauty of hosting. Yeah, really good. It's actually a hack. Because Al did a few saucy rolls. Actually, I did a side of salmon. Come on.

Babe. Did an encrute? No. Sorry. Don't be silly. I won't get the pastry involved. Just a fillet. Just a fillet.

Filet. No, my friend, Oz, Oscar, he is like, he's so funny. Like, he'll take himself away from the group because he's like, he's like studies horses. He won about 1,500 quid. This one guy. Why didn't you box up next to him?

Because I always think he could have one bad day. He's never had a bad day when I've been with him. Every time I've gone to the races with him, he's honestly won 1500, 1600 quid. Maybe it's you. Maybe it is me. I was gonna say that. What, that I've got bad luck?

No, you've got lucky charm if you're with Oz. You're the winning duo, the dynamic duo at the races. You just don't know yet. Okay, Saskia, number one. Roll it up, rack it up, baby. Let's go. Hi, girlies. Love the pod.

Thought I'd share a story. Not mine, one of my friends, but it's fascinating. So here we go. So my friend, let's call her Molly, was with a boy called, let's call him Josh. So Molly and Josh are together from school.

They are together for about six years. Molly and Josh's parents meet and really get on, end up falling in love, and sit Molly and Josh down and say, we'd really like to get married. The kids say, yeah, that's okay. We don't mind. That's fine. Anyway, side note, Rihanna, I have done a script. Don't panic. They then get married, which means Molly and

Josh are technically step siblings, but a bit weird. But anyway, then Josh cheats on Molly. Now, at this point, they were living together. So she has to move back in with her mum and Josh's dad. Molly's mum and Josh's dad both take Molly's side. So Josh is now cut. He's out. He's out the fam. So then he then tries to weave his way back in. He realises he's got no money.

He's got nothing. So he tries to weave his way back in and get back with Molly to get in with his parents, basically, and get some money to live off. They say, no, absolutely not. It's not going to happen. And he goes to live with his mum, which starts a massive family argument. Basically,, Josh's dad doesn't speak to him. And yeah, it's all crazy. Love the pod girls. Been watching you since the second video ever.

And PS, please make a hoodie. Love you. Please make a hoodie. We're working on it, babe. Working overtime on that hoodie. My God. I'm sorry. That's incorrect.

No, we're not working overtime, babe. There's absolutely no overtime. Our to-do list is working overtime because it's been sat on that to-do list for about six months now. Six months. Just to give a bit of context, these are 23 and 24-year-olds.

23 and 24? Yeah. God. Can you imagine? Can you imagine? Also, so 23 and 24, and they met at school. So they'd been together a really long time

when Josh, the little fucker, cheated. No, babe. Sorry, Josh. Their parents got married, and then he and they met at school. So they'd been together a really long time when Josh the little fucker cheated. No, babe. Sorry, Josh. Their parents got married and then he cheated. Yeah, yeah, I know. Oh, yeah. But I'm saying they met at school. So, like, they'd been together a long time.

I think that's kind of by the... Well, it's not by the by, but that's not the most shocking part of this story. The most shocking part. Yeah, true. Sorry, I hate cheats. Oh, I hate them. You know, like, you know like you know

no hate hashtag not all men hashtag not all men but it's not a shock is it do you know what I mean what's more shocking is that Morley's mum and Josh's dad

shagged and are now married and also sorry sorry in what context are you introducing them and they're like

was it instant love at first sight like a spa I can see that happening now really okay because tell me context are you introducing them and they're like, was it instant love at first sight? Like a spark? I can see that happening now. Really? Okay, because at school did you ever have this? All the divorcees, they all start to clump together at the parents' days and

sports day. I can imagine that's quite nice to be fair. Imagine the sports day. Okay, well all the divorced parents now are for the 100 metres. No, but they just know because it's the school gossip and how much did she get and did she get the Range Rover in the house?

Good luck. Did they get the Range Rover? What school did you fucking go to? I will not name it, but it was a posh one. It was a fucking posh one if that was the child of the school gays.

No parents of my school gays were talking about that. I'll tell you that for you. The divorces at my school were hot goss. I can imagine because a lot of money in the mix.

A lot of money. Offshore accounts. Everyone knew everything. because a lot of money in the mix. A lot of money. Offshore accounts. Everyone knew everything. Some of them were even in the papers. No wonder Sheila McIntosh went into the business of divorce. She just thought, I can see some money here.

I'm getting my worth. What was I going to say? Oh, I can't remember. Imagine meeting. Yeah, I just think it must have been one hell of a dinner party. Like a double date.

Like so weird. They must have been one hell of a dinner party. Like a double date. Like, so weird. They must have been really vibing. Can I say, I don't mean to middle age, be middle ageist. Oh, you're so middle ageist. I think when you get

to that age, your dating pool is so fucking small anyway. If he was good looking, he had teeth and money, you'd be in. And, like, could have an erection

ten out of ten times. I don't know, that's not essential at that age. You might think, as you'd rather he didn't. I don't know. That's not essential at that age. You might think, actually, I'd rather he didn't. I'd rather he had a Range Rover. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. No, I actually take that back because women should be desired late into their, late, late years. It's not top of the pile. At 45, 50, I reckon. You might get a little second wind.

Especially if it had been a while. Yeah, true. But my point is that I don't think it's, okay, obviously it's shocking that you were, Molly was going out with Josh and that's like literally like my mum marrying Rory's dad.

I mean, that is making me That is sick, actually. It's actually literally exactly the same but a few years ago. Basically, yeah. That is what could have happened. And then him cheating on me.

Me going to live with my mum and his, sorry. Also, I would just be a bit like to his dad, I hate you two. Sorry, I do. You be a bit like to his dad I hate you too sorry I do you look a bit like him but you raised him

no because if Josh's dad now hates Josh too yes they're good morals they're more on the same team strong morals from the parents really strong the problem is it's his dad

so he will have to forgive him at some point bail him out probably because if Josh is on the floor or why is Josh's mum like so cute well Josh's mum probably

hates Molly and Molly's mum. Also, Josh's mum is a boy mum. She's fucking obsessed with him. She wants to shag it myself. She's gassed his back. She's fucking stiff isn't she?

Sorry. Sorry. She's sniffing what? She's sniffing his boxers. Boxers. Sure. His knickers, I was going to say.

I love to call boys boxers knickers. They hate it. Why do they hate it? Sniffing his knickers. Put your knickers on. Colin used to get so cross when I said that. There's no advice to give here.

Just, you know, ideally keep your parents and your, ideally keep your boyfriend or partners or girlfriends or other halves parents. Away. Far away from yours. Because it would be confusing if they'd have stayed together and had kids.

It'd be like, oh, that's like nanny and granddad, but that's also, oh, that's like nanny and granddad, but that's also... Oh, well, I guess it is. I guess it just brings them together. You don't have mum's side or dad's side. You just have all my granny and granddad with the same thing

because they were married. Yeah, yeah. And they kept it in the family. Wow. Wow. Imagine the family holidays. Quite fun if you all got on. Quite fun if you married Josh.

Yeah, and you're both married. Oh, I don't think it's fun for your own parents to also be in love and shagging next door. I don't think that's fun. This is the thing. If their PDA is strong, it's uncomfortable. Also, imagine when they first started to realise that their parents had feelings for each other. And they're like, am I fucking, am I okay? Am I okay? And do I still

fancy him? Because now my mum fancies his dad. Yes! I feel uncomfortable about that. Yes. Wow. fancy him because now my mum fancies his dad yes wow make this autumn the tastiest season yet with farm fresh produce and easy autumn inspired recipes delivered right to your door with hello fresh whip up tasty restaurant style meals in your own kitchen without the high price tag of takeout and in less time than it takes to get delivery. Babe, honestly, HelloFresh has saved me so many times. And now my in-laws think I can actually cook, even though all I've done is followed the recipe and had the ingredients delivered to my door.

But babe, you are cooking. It's absolutely genius. And also, it's not like you're going to be stuck doing one recipe that you're good at because there's variety from HelloFresh. There's so much choice. Come on. You can get 10 free meals at HelloFresh.com slash free Ali G applied across seven boxes. New subscribers only.

Varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com slash free allergy. You're welcome. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave a Message, if you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics. But if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Hey, girlies, I'm on London transport right now, but I thought I'd share a very interesting story. It's actually about my brother. Two years ago,

now he's 19. So he would have have been 17 he was dating a 19 year old girl she told him he wasn't really into it he was kind of in a little ho phase she was like this boy is the one for me she goes oh no I'm gonna take a gap year off of uni because I want to spend more time with you I want to stay in our little town like I want to spend more time and this boy was still sleeping with about 10 other girls at the time she did not know that anyways she didn't know that but she's she doesn't go to university she stays in our little town for him for a year they see each other maybe for the next like two months then as soon as he goes oh i'm sorry i don't think we should see each other anymore she goes wait but but i'm pregnant jaw dropped everyone's so shocked no one actually

knows i don't think my mom still knows anyways then he's like well i don't want it like do what you want do what you will but i'm 17 years old you're 19 i'm not having a baby with you she goes oh but like you have to like what and he's like no uh you need to like i i'm sorry but i like can't whatever i mean like fair enough for him i don't know anyways she was okay, I'm gonna get an abortion, whatever, she gets the said abortion, turns out, a year later, we find out she wasn't pregnant at all, she just wanted him, she wanted him to, like, be with her, and stay with her, and, like, be happy, haven't heard of this girl since, she's been, she, like, deleted her life off of, like, Instagram, like, she's not on social media anymore,

as soon as everyone found out, she was lying, yeah thought I'd share bye galleys that is sick bye babe what the hell what the sorry wow there's so much to unpack here okay number one I'd like to ask you have you ever like fallen that hard to baby trap someone to like firstly like not leave the town stay at home take a gap year

just to like in the hope that he might like eventually fall in love with you too and then yeah to use pregnancy as a kind of like no you must stay with me

because we're gonna spawn a child probably in the beginning with Raw I didn't well not that far obviously sorry no raw i didn't well not that far obviously no no not that far not that far rewind the track listen to it again babe have you ever heard her say that before listen to it again i was um no no no no sorry i just want to be clear i'm not fucking fake baby trapping more at 21 you're obsessed you're obsessed i was like he was

okay this i can't't this is so mushy and I actually don't think that these words can come up sorry I need to like no no no I actually can't say this because it's going to give me high high level anxiety

babe expose yourself lean back like you're in therapy you know you're meant to trust people and be vulnerable put your feet down the only problem is

40,000 fucking people are listening to this it's not very therapeutic no Sonia Mohana and James they're friends we're amongst friends right okay in the beginning okay you're getting this once he won't listen to this. It's not very therapeutic. No, Sonia Rahana and James are friends. We're amongst friends. Right, okay.

In the beginning, okay, you're getting this once, he won't listen to this and also this is fucking, you know, dying off this because it's not happening again. Okay?

In the beginning, he was the first person that made me feel like I actually trust men for the first time in my whole life. I've got to close my eyes because I can't even

look at anything. This is so sweet. I'm actually a bit hungover i actually was really obsessed with him because he made me feel like he just loved me for me and like there was no like okay i've got to stop now this is actually way too deep keep going no no but he just like he really restored my faith in men and i actually mean that in its totality and i still think that to this day and in the beginning when you're in the stages of lust and also, you know,

coming back from my deep-seated trauma, I probably would have done anything for him. Night in shining armour. Not so much now. Hey. I wouldn't, I wouldn't... You wouldn't take a gap year for him now? I wouldn't.

Listen, if he said, I want to move back in with my parents, I wouldn't say, yeah, sure, I'll do that for a year. If he started getting a bit nonchalant, a bit like, you know, when the dishwasher stops working because it's a bit like you ignore me all the time and you never maintain me, as we say, Rory White is your dishwasher.

Yes. And he started getting a little bit like, actually, it's my own thing, not that I'm interested in you anymore because you don't pay me enough attention, hypothetically. Would you then, do you think, be a bit like, I'm pregnant? No. You love me and you must stay with me forever. Never.

Never. Never. Because, listen, would you? For Rory, yeah. For Colin in the beginning. I think it's hard to qualify when you're like so many years in. That's what I mean. They're not going to leave you.

It's going to be like, go on then. When you're in the throes of like lust many years in. That's what I mean. They're not going to leave you so you're a bit like, go on then. When you're in the throes of like lust and like that first, like it is obsession. Also, I think it's an age thing because yes,

at 23, yes, I would have done. That's what I mean, yeah. But now that I like know my own value and sense of self,

it's not worth it. Of course. But yeah, I get that at 19, if you really thought he was everything, you might try all tactics. I know someone that this actually happened to

and they kept the baby. But there was... Okay, the difference is that hers was fake. Hers was fake. That's the issue that I have. Is that she actually lied? Yeah. It's dark.

Because it's different if you like... Well, it's not really... It's dark. It's not really that different to be like, oh, I'm taking my pill. I know someone that this happened to. Hold on. A lie? No, they stopped taking their pill. I know someone that this happened to. Hold on. A lie?

No, they stopped taking their pill. Without telling them? And then they got pregnant and then it was basically this scenario, but it was a real pregnancy. And did they want to get pregnant, but the guy didn't, maybe? Basically, yeah.

It's dodge, isn't it? It's literally, I'm treading very carefully because I do not know how to speak about it, but I just think it's really dodge. I don't think it's treading carefully. I think it's, you can't do that. You can't like guilt trip someone into saying I'll stay with you because you're pregnant if you're not pregnant. Yeah. And also you can't guilt trip someone into staying with you,

sorry, I'm actually for the first time in my entire life going to take the man side. I don't think that baby should be used as chest pause. Oh, 100%. No way. It's so difficult, though, when you think about a woman getting pregnant and if they want to keep that baby, technically they can. That is wild. We're forgetting that he's also a boy.

He's 17. She's 19. Imagine. Oh, he's younger. Yeah. Oh, I missed that part. This is what happened, right? This person I know, I think. This is what happened, right? This person I know,

I think I've got this story, right? His older brother worked at a bar. Right. And the manager at the bar was shagging the brother. She's an older woman in her 30s. She got pregnant, kept the baby, and he was like,

well, I need to stay and raise the baby. I think they're together to this day. But they weren't together at the time. They were shagging quite casually he was like, well, I need to stay and raise the baby. I think they're together to this day. But they weren't together at the time. They were shagging quite casually. Which is, listen, this is why I'm treading carefully. It's a grey area. If you're shagging someone without protection... At Georgina Forsyth-Reed.

Me, luckily I'm in control of what happens next. Thank God. If you're a man, you've got less control. Bigger risk. Drake's out there putting Tabasco in his condom so that no one steals his sperm. Do you know what I mean? That's clever.

I take issue with the lie the most because... I do too. It's like the same as the pill. That's actually really fucked up. If you said I'm on the pill and you weren't, that is dodged. You can't lie like that. Really fucked up.

To give someone a false sense of pretenses for him to then make a decision to stay with you because of something that is just not true. Imagine if he really panicked and he was like, oh my God, okay. Yeah, that's what I mean. That's what I mean. He's 17.

Imagine if it worked. Thank God he was a bit nonchalant and shagging about and he was just like, not bothered. Then you'd have to like, you know, properly shag and hope you get pregnant so it's not fucking your lies. You'd have to go out on the town. Yeah.

Quick, boys. Who's up for it? I've got to put a baby in here. I've got to lie to keep up keep up okay should we have the next one hey uh so i was um listening to one of your podcast episodes and it reminded me of this time because you were talking about how there's this weird gray area in consent that there obviously shouldn't be when you're kind of not saying no but you're not saying yes and this time was very much so like that so essentially I went on a hinge date with this guy and um that the first one was fine and then the

second one ended up back at mine and anyway we were watching a film and it was like it was really long it was titanic so it was super long so we like paused it to like have a break because it was so fucking long and anyway we started like kissing in the break and long story short I look down after maybe five minutes his dick is out honestly the most horrifying moment of my life and obviously I hadn't said like anything like before that about not wanting to have sex but he had taken like kissing as consent for more. And I feel like sometimes you don't want more. And I didn't want more in that moment. And I did say something in the end, but I feel like in that situation, it's easy to just go along with it when you don't want to, because you feel like you kind of have to, and maybe you feel like you've

given him consent by like just kissing him, even it's that's definitely not the case and I think yeah I think it's a big issue and I just wanted to share my experience love you guys love you babe that is so interesting because I hope you're okay yeah I hope you're okay and that you weren't like you know nothing you know bad happened no I think she she's a good girl she said oh oh, I'm kissing. I'm just kissing you. But it's so shocking and jarring in the moment to be confronted with that and be like, panic of what to do. Can I be controversial? Go on.

If you are in that scenario where no one said anything, because often you don't have a conversation, right? Not normally like the body talks in those moments. Titanic was obviously turning them on, which is hilarious. Yeah. Often, if it's unwritten, and in your mind you did want sex, and snogging in your mind was leading to the next stage,

it's like, I mean, popping a dick out is actually wild as a movement like you'd think that you'd probably like slip a finger in first try and unbutton a trouser and see how that went down do you know what I mean

and it's weird to just whack your dick out they are called first base second base third base yeah it's not the sexiest thing I've ever heard

or the smoothest thing but if you were looking to have sex with them it maybe wouldn't be so shocking but because in your mind you're just snogging I think what she's basically saying

is it's so difficult in those moments to just read body language and actually consent does I think need to be verbal like I really do I think if we're going to take it that seriously and we're going to eradicate the grey then you can't assume he knows

that kissing doesn't lead to you touching his dick because in his experience it might and that is the next stage for him, that's his second base or whatever, he's just made it easy for you, he got it out. I think it's rogue and I don't think it would like make me want to jump on him but I think when

you're in the realms of like letting your bodies move together it's really hard to expect them to know where your head's at if no one says it and no one says anything. Yeah. Because in his mind, snogging might mean, oh, we're going to have sex tonight.

It doesn't in yours, obviously. For some girls, it might. They might not kiss you if they didn't think they wanted to shag you. And like, we need to get comfortable with being able to say i'd love to just make out i don't know how you make that sexy i don't know how you make that something that's easy to say but then he knows if he then gets his dick out you've got a problem i think it's the thing of like there is no such thing as over communication in sex and the problem is that over communication is highly unsexy but in in order, especially with hinge dates,

people you're snogging and shagging for the first time ever, it is actually quite fucking essential. Gotta be careful. To make sure that you aren't in a situation where, you know, it sounds like you, babe, you did the right thing and you said what you, but like lots of girls wouldn't have said anything.

That's the really good thing that you did that I would not have done it a year ago. Yeah. No way would I have had the balls to say actually no I don't want to do that I thought this was just kissing and we have to sadly and like listen I don't think it's right that the onus falls on us on majority women to do that no I mean he should have said that's what I mean is it okay if I get my dick out I mean I don't think it's right but considering that that is sadly sometimes a situation

that women do find themselves in, it is then your responsibility to like, you know, stick up for yourself and say what you want and say what you don't want rather than just like, you know, pushing it aside and like letting it go because like, oh, it's too awkward and it's so unsexy and it's so weird and like, fuck that.

Say it. Say what you mean. Say what you mean. Say what you want. Say what you don't want and like find your voice in it. And it can be sexy. I think it can. I think you can make it sexy to say like, put your dick away.

I want you to, I want you to just kiss me. I want you to put your dick back in your pants, baby. Okay, no, that bit's not sexy. I meant the pre-consent, like the bit to ask what you want. Do you know what I mean? I want you to put your dick away. It's like, that's a vibe killer. I don't need to get rid of that erection, baby.

I was just thinking, the other way around. Like, if I was snogging someone and I just, like, got a bit hot and horny and took my top off and they were like, whoa, we're just kissing, I'd be mortified. I'd be like, God, I'm so sorry. I must leave now.

Yeah, but it is... No, but that's fair enough. I know. Because, like, you read it... Like, they've read it wrong. Yeah. But they've only read it wrong because they're in i always say this guys nothing is obvious in this life okay yeah you're right stop expecting other people to be able to read your minds because they can't like if you're thinking one way and it's so blatantly obvious to you chances are they haven't got a clue i'm really being serious so

if in those gray areas make it so obvious that it cannot be ignored okay sorry seriously how would you do your segway if you needed to say i'd like i want you to put your but you wanted to keep snogging them how would you do that i would say something like where were they i'm guessing oh they're at home watching titanic why does that matter because like it depends on the sitch on the scenario like are you like you know in bed like right you know yeah yeah yeah yeah i'm guessing they were on a sofa i would just say don't waste any time yeah well this is a thing like yeah you could make a joke but then it's like that kills the vibe like if you wanted to keep i mean maybe you don't want to keep snogging them once they've got their dick out and you didn't expect that that's actually kind of a turn off I would just say something like I'm really this is I can't it's so unsexy when you say it but like you would have to say it in a sexy voice

like I'm really enjoying this so much and I just feel like I would really love it if we could take things slow good something like that so put your dick away so like I don't really want to do that today but maybe next time really nice You don't have to be like, actually put your fucking dick away, you piece of shit. Just like, you know, say it in a way that like lets them down gently,

but also lets them know like you're not up for it. Yeah. So you like eradicate the gray. Yeah. Yeah. I don't want to do that today, but like maybe next time. Really good.

Something like that. I think that was quite sexy. Copy and paste that everyone. Copy and paste. Copy and paste. And practice. It's practice. Yeah. Copy and paste that everyone. Copy and paste. Copy and paste. And practice. It's practice. Yeah, we've just done it.

In the mirror. In the mirror. Okay. I wish you put your fucking big fat dick away you sexy boy. God, I love that you just got your dick out. It's so sexy

but I'd love you to put it away. Should I give it a kiss before it goes? Just one. Joking. Don't do that if you don't want to.

Off. I think we should debrief. Debrief. Really? Really? Really? Okay. Okay, Molly and Josh.

That's gear number one. Her friend Molly and Josh. I've just actually written here, sorry, I missed this the first time. Incest. Because it's not incest, but it's not fucking far off

if you're asking me seriously. It's not far wrong. If someone came round, like if you had a foreign exchange student staying and you had to explain, you. If someone came round, like if you had a foreign exchange student staying and you had to explain, you'd feel a bit uncomfortable, wouldn't you? Oh, my mum's married to his dad.

My mum's married to his dad, but we're not brother and sister, so don't worry. We were actually shagging for a long time and then he cheated on me. And we met first. And then he cheated on me. Imagine being like your parents' wing people. It is weird though,

because you are technically stepbrother and sister, technically, because they're fully married legally. Yeah, but that's what happens. Stepbrother. That's what she said, stepbrother. She was shagging stepbrothers and sisters. That's incest. Sorry.

Is that illegal? Yeah. We talked about this. She said even fostered and adopted. I'm really proud of the parents in that scenario. What? What? Sorry.

No, no, their morals with the cheating, like just ousting Josh. I know he just made a silly mistake, but I like that they stood by Molly. Sorry. You thought I was proud of them for shagging. I thought you were saying, I'm so proud of them for just going for it.

I am actually proud of that too. I'm so proud. Like, if you find love, go for it. Go for it. There's no law against it. No law. Stepbrothers and sisters can be married. Not incest then?

That's not right. Sorry. They must write that into the constitution somehow. That's not right. The constitution. The fourth amendment. Write it down. I will not shag my brother.

I will not shag my sister. I will not kill. Number two, Saskia. Okay. Fake prego. Yeah, you've got to do something about that, babe. That's not right. Go to therapy. I don't know. We didn't even speak about that baby that's not right go to therapy

I don't know we didn't even speak about the fact that girl fell off the face of the planet she like deleted all her social media and stuff

she was so highly embarrassed about her abortion lie her fake baby imagine all the girls that actually went through abortions and then you've got

this little weasel just trying to entrap a man he's not worth it number one. Sorry, I'm sure your brother's great. Actually, how old is he now? I'm joking.

No, but he's not worth it. No, he's not. I just even think, you know, no man's worth staying a year and not having a gap year in your small town. Don't do it. Don't do that. If you were going to do it, don't do it.

If you want to stay, stay, but not for him or you. No, really, you don't want to stay. You want to go and see the world. Out there, babe. Maybe that's what she's doing. Maybe that's why her Facebook doesn't exist anymore. Well, she's out there having a good time. She should stay far, far away.

Far, far away. That is one of the worst lies you could tell, I think. Good. Do you think? Oh, there's so many bad lies. There's so many bad lies. There's so many dark ones going through my mind that I wouldn't even say aloud right now.

I'll tell you one. Go on. This is highly anonymous. A real one? Yeah. Tell are so many bad lies. There's so many dark ones going through my mind that I wouldn't even say it loud right now. I'll tell you one. Go on. This is highly anonymous. A real one? Yeah. Tell me. Not about me. Oh yeah, go on.

I have to tell you about this is really, really top secret anonymous. Who is it? I can't, I'll tell you after. No, you must. No, no, no,

I really can't. I really can't. My friend How tall are they? Was with this guy when we were about... We would have been about 18, 19. And same thing, he wanted to break up with her and she told him she had cancer.

I knew you were going to say cancer. It's so dark. And I want to say breast, but I couldn't. I have to fact check that. And he stayed. She didn't. She obviously didn't have cancer. And, yeah. Did you know during that?

I only knew after. That's worse. When the camera stops, I'll tell you why I knew that, because I actually cannot say it out loud. It's so bad. And you're not friends anymore? No. Oh my god, you are. I'm obsessed. I've met them, haven't I? I love it!

No, no, you haven't met them. You haven't met them. Have I met them? Blink once for safety. Blink once if you're safe, babe. Being around that. We might have to cut this, actually. I'm actually not joking.

Okay, I'll tell you after. That is shocking. Yeah. That's the worst. That's worse. That, I think, pregnancy girl is quite vanilla. Oh, she's fine.

Get her back in the fold. She's fine. Say it again, babe. No, I think. That's worse. That, I think, pregnancy girl is quite vanilla. Oh, she's fine. Get her back in the fold. She's fine. Say it again, babe. No, I think a baby's worse. What's the fucking poor fake baby done to hurt you? Yeah, also, it's so April Fool's-y.

It's lame. Girl, I'm pregnant. April Fool's. Also, just say, like, I really dick you. Would you not say and just dick me too? I'm just like,

I'm really obsessed with you. Yeah, okay, don't say that. I just really, I will give up my whole life for you. No, definitely don't do that. It feels that deep, doesn't it? It does. When you really love them, it feels like you want to dig on your knees.

It overtakes your body. It does. And you think, I will do anything in the world for this person. I'll never forget my ex. Oh, one of them. I don't know which one, the one that lives in Tooting. When he broke up with me, I genuinely felt like oxygen had stopped coming to my body and I was like,

I would do anything to be with him. I could have like clawed at him. He didn't even do it purposely. He did it over the phone, but I'd have driven to him and I'd have clawed. I'd have stuck my fingers in him so that I couldn't get out. Isn't it funny how boys can make you feel like that in the first throes of it. I didn't even really

like him as a person. I loved him. I didn't like him I don't think. I thought he was with a knob. You didn't love him. You were obsessed with him.

I was obsessed. That's not love. I also couldn't believe he fancied me off I was so gassed but then that lasted four minutes. I also think,

sorry this is a topic for another day but love, obsession is not love. You can be obsessed with like Taylor Swift. You don't love Taylor Swift like from your heart

from where like the passion comes from. No. Obsession is such a dark place to be, actually. Yeah. Anyway, don't be obsessed with anyone. Definitely don't lie about having a baby. Good point.

Saskia number three. Sorry, I just wanted to say about Saskia number three. I've actually written here, and I know we're not supposed to slag brands. Hinge is not a safe place. The fine thing that we've all learned, we've all learned in the last three, four weeks, and now with Saskia number three, Hinge is not a safe place. The fine thing that we've all learned. We've all learned in the last three, four weeks. And now with Saskia number three,

Hinge is not a safe place to be. I actually agree. I don't know how they can please sit and I don't think it's Hinge slash Bumble slash Tinder's fault. Yeah, hashtag slash Grindr slash all of you, plenty of fish. I just don't. Hashtag not all dating apps. Hashtag not all dating apps. Hashtag we'd love to work with you. Hashtag pay, please pay us. Hashtag

we've got a contract on the table, so that was rogue from Ally Mac, but don't worry about it. I don't know how they police it. In fact, I do. I had a friend that used to work for Bumble and she would do everything. And once you report someone, they're really quick. Especially Bumble. Problem is I don't think you can report him

for getting his dick out and misreading. Well, actually, babe, sorry. I hope you're still listening and you haven't turned off because I was just saying that I'd'd expect it but i'm i actually do agree i think that is in that moment shocking if that's not where your head was at at all i'm just saying that in his experience his head could have been somewhere completely different when no one said anything it's really difficult to read the room like i genuinely believe that it's not out of the realm of possibility but for him basically yeah well i mean sometimes it's very easy to read the room. Like, I genuinely believe that. It's not out of the realm of possibility for him, basically.

Yeah. I mean, sometimes it's very easy to read the room because someone's body language is telling you they don't want to fuck you and you should keep

your dick in your pants. But sometimes when you're intimate and you're becoming close and you're being tactile, it is difficult to know, like, where the markers are in the sand,

especially if you don't lay down the law. And I've only learned that as I've got older that I like fully will now ask for what I want before they can even do it. Do you know what I mean?

So they know where it's going. I'm leading that ship. I'm telling us where the destination is. Because otherwise, I know that you're going to lead and I might not like where you go. So I'll take control.

Be the captain of your own ship. Especially in sex. Right, do you want to do one? Question of the week. Let's do it. Question of the week, let's do it. Question of the week this week was, what comes first, your career or your relationships? I went a bit more in-depth with Liam.

I didn't even vote on this. For God's sake. Wake up! Wakey shaky. I didn't even see this. Slaven over question of the week You're not even voting Instagram are you fucking hiding our stories?

Rihanna did you vote? I'm actually Ali from Ali and G And I'm not even seeing Ali and G stories You didn't vote? No but I've also I'm not in a relationship So Oh well

Listen Relationships Because I kind of just meant any Friendships Platonics Mummy daddy Whatever I think that's a bad question.

You should have stuck with relationship. No, but I said... Right, okay, good. You do them next time. You've got access to the occult. Okay, the options were, I prioritise my career, my people understand. Sorry.

So when you read them, I think it makes more sense because it's like my people, like not my person, my partner. I prioritise again, sorry. I prioritise my career, my partner. I prioritise again, sorry. I prioritise my career, my people, understand. Right. I would never put work over my people.

You want me to guess what people have voted? Yes. That's how this segment works. As we do every week. Yes. That's exactly what I want you to do. I think that majority will vote the career never comes above people. So you are correct, but it was way closer than I thought it would be.

42% of people said I prioritise my career. I actually really rate that. And 58% of people said I would never put work over my people. I rate that a lot. Me too, because I also do think, as we have learned with Question of the Week, it is nuance and there are certain

like it's forcing you to like pick like gun to your head I would pick the first option you'd prioritise your career I would pick if I was if I had to make a choice

on a day you can do this work thing or you can go to dinner with your friends and I had to choose I would pick the work thing yeah especially at this point in your life

where you're trying to like climb the ladder do you not do the same yeah yeah yeah. I think that would be my answer. So I think that it's... But then obviously my answer would also be... There would be the exceptions to the rule,

obviously. Always there's things that like, never can be trumped. Right. Not missing a wedding. Yeah, exactly. Your birthday. But generally,

if you asked me on a random day, I'd pick work. Yeah. And I actually think that's... And you would hope that your people would understand? A hundred percent. And I actually really think, as you get get older you can't have friends in your life that are really close to you that don't get it because if you're if you if you both understand

like we're just in our hustle I even have that with raw to be honest with you we're in our hustling area individually if you've got to bail on me on a Saturday night to go to a client dinner that's fine yeah I you know sack you off last minute all the time. And as long as you both like stay, I guess stay aware of how often you're doing that and you don't constantly make someone feel like they're not your priority at all. 100%. And it's flippant to you.

100%. Then I think you're pretty safe. And I think, yeah, you're right. Everyone would understand. It's the same with like, I always think this, like I'm not really looking for a relationship at the moment, but I think as we get older and you stay single,

I feel like you would want your friends to understand if you did take a date over them. That sounds really, like a really stupid thing to do because you don't know that person and it's one date. But it could be the love of your life.

That could be my person and then I, do you know what I mean? I just think like, as you move through life, different things need to be prioritised as I would understand if one of my friends

got pregnant and their baby had, 100%. You know, jaundice, what do babies have? Yellow fever, what do babies get?

I don't know. Mumps. Mumps. I'd be like, you go deal with that. Please. Don't worry about me and please don't bring that baby near me.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I think like, at different stages through life, you hope that you can communicate to your friends like what's important

and what needs to come first. 100%. Yeah. Great, Eb. It was so mixed. It was so mixed. It was like, pick and mix.

Pick and mix. So join us next week for more voice notes, more fun, and more frolics. Thank you. Love you, bye. Bye. Bye!