Leave A Message with Ally & G - 23 - Friendship To Frenemies: Let's Just Say It How It Is

Episode Date: August 7, 2024

When is the right time to accept that a friendship is... over? On this weeks episode of Leave A Message the bestest friends in the whole world, Ally & G, are helping the Gallies navigate some of the friendship world's toughest dilemmas! From the challenge of sustaining a friendship through life's many changes, to an Eras Tour-related group fallout and the awkwardness of pretending to be friends - if you don't leave this episode as a better friend, then that's truly on you babe. We've got all of this plus the bravery of responding to cat callers and the Question of the Week is all about when to say 'I Love You'. Well, we're not afraid to say: WE LOVE YOU! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

and it's a new day it's a new day it's a new dawn what have you done this week i went to school this weekend what for god's sake of course guys are we going good this is all a friendship hi rich how do we this is not a friendship anecdote this is a poo anecdote no poo we've taken this podcast out the gutter rahana do not bring it back you've had you've already heard this i went to bill i haven't heard a poo story babe i shut myself on myself on the plate. I do not know that story. No, read my text, babe. Probably not. When you send a lot, I skim read.

Yeah, no, me too. We went to this unreal... I actually... If you were ever in Seville, the restaurant was called Cerveceria Salmaderia. But beer, cerveza is beer. Cerveceria. Oh, cerveceria oh cerveceria

service oh I've been learning Spanish I've learned everyone battle battle I'm so right I'll actually take a lesson

are you are you properly learning so cheap though like £12 a lesson give us a little bit or mine absolutely not um

what's it called that's a new lick yeah please actually do you breathe by is it with a teacher yeah I don't respond well to. I don't respond well to teachers.

I don't respond well to authority. Sorry. We went to this delicious fish restaurant. The first day we got there and then the lot, it was so delicious

we thought, oh, we'll go for lunch on our last day. I really loved that, yeah. And we had pretty much the same thing but I got on the, as soon as we finished lunch

I thought, I'm gonna I feel violently unmoved you always know when it's hitting it's wetting I have a really weak stomach as well and we got on the plane

and me and my mum had this big fight with the hashtag not all airlines I can't name the airlines who were you hashtag flying with what did it rhyme with

peasy pet no no no British air pairways peasy pet we love because they want to send us on holiday oh yeah holiday with peasy pet British pairways Peasy Pet. No, no, no. British Pairways. No, no, babe. Peasy Pet we love because they want to send us on holiday. Oh, yeah.

Holiday with Peasy Pet. British Pairways. No, no, no. Poiling. Poiling! God, I haven't flown poiling in years. Well, I don't recommend it. Really?

And the bitchy woman. Oh, no. No, babe. And me and my mum. You said I need to use the lavatory. No, no. They were making a big song and dance about our carry-ons, la la la. Babe, I know what you're like with your carry-on.

No, babe, then we had a big fight with this lady. She thinks the carry-on is a full suitcase. The girl turns up, she might as well turn up with a body bag. She's dragging this thing along going, well, I measured it. And you look at it and you think think that's not fitting in the box. Oh, that's funny. Oh, that is funny. No, this time

we had actually, my mum had paid Fine. 80 quid it is, isn't it? Yeah, at the gate the lady said you've got to pay and anyways,

we get on the thing and the woman, the bitchy stewardess says this can't go here, that has to go under the hold and we were like, we've just, literally just paid for it.

She was like, you paid as a paid for it. She was like, you paid as a punishment. Oh, sorry, Sandra. You had to pay to be punished or something. She used the word punishment. Me and my mum were pissing ourselves. Anyway, we'd had a big fight. Did you say, well, I feel punished.

And I said to her, go and check with your manager. Where's your manager? I know we had a huge argument with this lady. Anyway, then halfway through the flight, I thought I'm going to shit myself. So I go to the bathroom, so I went to the bathroom, my mum quickly taking my laptop off my, like, go, go, go, anyway, I'm locked in the bathroom, it wasn't a pretty sight, and the fucking lady, no, and twice she did

that, and I lost my nerve, I was like, I'm not very well in here no no the bitchy cow the air and I thought I'm not even gonna fucking clean up my shit you can come in after me sorry I don't know why I'm not very well in here it's very good to be... I knock her. Very well in here. Can't say. Like a kind of like Victorian. Not very well in here. It's not a pretty sight. Anyway, what a horrible place to have the shits, babe.

Anyway, I close the lid and just flush and hope for the best. I thought, good, I hope she does have to go in there and see my... Why was she knocking? Did the seatbelt sign go on or something? Must have been something like 20 minutes to landing, you know, when they give you that warning.

20 minutes, babe. I've got 20 minutes left to go. Give me a fucking second. Also, you do think when nature calls, it does call. Do you know what I mean? Often, when you're taking your time,

it's for good reason. When it flows. You're not sat there scrolling. It's not a nice toilet to be in. When it flows, doth it flow? And then, you know, at the end, when you walk out,

and they say, thank you so much, and I literally just looked at her like this. She hated you. Good, as she should. I hated her back. Well, no hate to hashtag pooling. We hope that...

No hate to hashtag pooling. Pooling. Pueling. Hard to say it with a P. Yeah, pooling. That's good. That's anonymous. No defamation.

No defamation. We might have to beat that. Check that with management. Well, Poiling. That's good. That's anonymous. No defamation. No defamation. Might have to beat that. Check that with management. Well, today we're actually not talking about travel mishaps, although great ep. Put that on the agenda. Yeah, put that on the agenda.

I'll ask the galleys on the stories for that. Great. We are talking about friendships, our favourite thing ever. Favourite thing ever. Favourite thing ever. Livvy, breathe. Favourite thing to talk about ever. If you want to think,

if you want to talk about example, did we talk about this in the last one? I don't think we did. If you want to talk about friendship, guys, friendship is building flat pack furniture together. Yeah, that is next step. There is nothing that will, if you want a team building exercise,

flat pack furniture. We didn't even bicker. I know, babe. That was really good. And we didn't even have music. Babe, we just raw-dogged it. Have you heard about raw-dogging? Sorry, this is a new thing, isn't it?

I feel like so down with the kids, raw-dogged. Because Holly raw-dogged the long-haul flight back from Bali. She raw-dogged no film, no music, no book. Twelve and a half hours she raw-dogged. What did she do? She did a little sleeping and that was about it. When she was awake, what did she do? When she was awake, she just kind of sat like this.

But she was awake. And I was like, okay. And she was like, she's resting my eyes. Was that okay? Is that for real? Yeah, and it's raw dogging.

It's when you do something without like, like I raw dogged it. Like, you know, if you got from like, Clapham to King's Cross without a tube, you raw dogged. You raw dogged, yeah. Yeah. We raw dogged the flat pack furniture. I, if you got from like, Clapham to King's Cross without a tube, you raw dogged.

Yeah. We raw dogged the flat pack furniture. I think we're going to see someone about that. That is not normal behaviour. She's high functioning. I don't know what that girl is. Did she choose to do that?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like a task for her. It was like, if I can, it was like a challenge. It was like, can I raw dog the flight? Yeah, and then when you commit

and you just think, on the last hour, you're desperate for a film and you just think, I will not. I'm there crying at the bucket list. Morgan Freeman's dying and I'm fucking sobbing. Like, in absolute bits.

Watch June's movie. I've just got to the bit in The Silent Patient, babe. Oh my God, guys. The Silent Patient is so good. You have to, and I hate fiction. Read The Silent Patient. Listen to it, it's better. I knew you'd like it because it's fiction, but it feels bit non-fiction it's freaky so you've had the twist

have you yeah how do you feel i think you never feel that stupid don't you yeah but you know because how would you know that we won't give it away read or listen to the silent patient don't know who wrote it look it up oh i don't know either actually it's very good i recommended it by a friend of a friend and absolutely excellent friends can also recommend books really good segue babe what are the galleys called today um oh we should call it um something spanish espanoli what's the spanish name oh uh maria maria we've had maria before haven't we we love a mar. How about, what's a really Spanish name? Oh, I love the guy that sings Enrique.

Alfafa. Enrique Iglesias. Enrique Iglesias, fine. Enrique Iglesias, good. Why is it the four? Enrique Iglesias, number one. Okay, Enrique Iglesias, number one.

Okay, first of all, I've got my kitchen being redone, so if you hear drilling, that is not me doing a huge fart, I promise. Anyway, iGGallies this one is about female friendships I had a best friend who I met at work we were so so close we knew each other's families really well and if we weren't working together or

meeting up we would be messaging back and forth she meant a lot to me as I don't have a lot of people to call my friend let let alone my best friend. We worked with each other for like five years, and then she got a new job and a boyfriend. However, now when I try to message her, I get blunt responses, no effort to start any conversations or ask me how I am. Anytime I try and see her, she'll either be busy or cancels last minute. It's literally just radio silent. I genuinely cannot think of anything that I've done wrong um but do I still try and put effort into this friendship or do I just give up and just accept defeat oh babe Enrique won what a the thing is and I I feel like we've kind of had

this conversation before and more than ever as like like I get older, we get older, like our friendships develop, I think you can't let a friendship go until you've had a really frank conversation. Like you can't stop putting in effort if you haven't sat her down and been like, babe, something's changed. And until you've had that conversation with her,

of course you can't let it go five years of like proper friendship of loving each other and working together and it's sad I think you have to say something but I also sadly think you have to go in kind of not expecting loads because something's happened or something has yeah for whatever reason also I think even more so with work friends, sometimes it is the circumstance that makes you so close. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you were best friends because of work

and you met each other's families, you maintained your level of friendship because you saw each other every single day. That's not to say it's okay that she doesn't make an effort, but it might explain why you've drifted. Because, like, if we didn't see each other every day we didn't work together it's hard it's really hard to keep a friendship like alive i've got friends who i fucking love and i think they're epic and we have shared the most incredible times

together i don't make a lot of effort with them and they're not in my life every day they're not in my life every day and if they called me in pain or need would i be there one thousand percent but on the daily am i making effort with them and do they feel loved by me probably not probably not and it's really hard when it happens not gradually because normally that's something that happens over time and it's mutual yeah if it's something that feels really sudden to you and feels like she's got this new job and a new boyfriend and she's forgotten about you there's a conversation to have especially like I have those same friends

but I wouldn't be blunt with my responses I would be like overflowing with love yeah and you would always with the friends that you know you'd want I don't know like by your bedside by your deathbed yeah you would like always,

and you'd always look to plan. That's the one thing. It's like, when can I see you? When can we like have that dinner that is so like overdue or whatever? It's really hard because we talk about this all the time. There's no responsibility with a friendship.

You don't feel like you have to break up with someone. But actually you owe them that. I know your friends are listening. And you owe it to yourself as well to like do it justice of what your friendship was and even if it's just a conversation to say our friendship isn't that anymore but what can it be now yeah like what can like how can we make this work with your new job and your relationship and i don't know i also think like i don't know how it depends you you know, this happens in your 20s, when people get into new relationships, and for, you know, for a sec, they do just kind of like

forget about everything and everyone around them apart from that person that they are newly in a relationship with. And, you know, sometimes you have to kind of like swallow it and give them the space because they will slash should come back around. Yeah, always. But like you can't tell them that. They have to figure that out for themselves. And also there is that kind of weird grace period, isn't there? Like why do we get so like sucked in?

It's mad because I like, I would like to think as I get older that it wouldn't be so extreme now but i bet it will be it will be but i think the difference is that like you have it's maybe you have an awareness that it's happening and also maybe as you get older and you have been friends with people for longer people feel like if you did that i would be like babe you're actually i haven't seen you for two weeks because every night you're with him yeah do you know what i mean like i would have i would be able to say that but i think if you're not when you're a bit younger maybe you don't have those kinds of friendships where you can say that yeah and people to hold you to account so much i think that takes

time yeah yeah yeah it takes real time and patience yeah like i definitely only have that with like a handful of people that i would bother to or that i would like take it from yeah or care enough like yeah i've got so many friends that i fucking love and when they like pick their boyfriend over me it doesn't hurt that's so true like i still love them but it just doesn't hurt the same or like i don't need from them maybe like the time the time and i think what you're lacking here from her is the time because you've obviously had a lot of contact time that That's what it is. So you're missing that. Yeah.

Which, like, course, like, change is actually the hardest thing. Change is so hard. Life is only change. I know. That's the... And also, you hope that it is

because that means it's moving, it's evolving, you're growing, you're learning. Like, that's epic. You want change. I think you can salvage this, definitely.

You've got a message. You've got to say, can we have a chat? I would even go to her house and be like... We love a knock at the door. Because I would. I would go to your house and be like, why are you ignoring me?

Why are you being so rude? Yeah, you would. Something's gone wrong here. Like... Amazon. Deliveroo. I just think... Did you order a friend, you little bitch?

I think you should say something, but it takes guts to say it because a lot of people just think... Did you order a friend, you little bitch? I think you should say something, but it takes guts to say it because a lot of people just think, oh, I've definitely done that in the past of like, oh, let bygones be bygones and I'm not going to try and save it. And some of them actually now I look back and I think I probably could have done something about that.

Well, there was probably something unsaid that if it was said, it would have just been sorted. Sometimes though, babe, they say things that you don't want to hear. Like, I don't think you're funny. I don't think you're a good time gal anymore. Do you know what I mean? I think you're flogging a dead horse.

Try. All you can do is try. Because, you know, it's worse to look back in a year and think, oh, I really do wish I'd said something. Yeah, I agree. Than to say something and like feel hurt for a bit. You know, at least you know where you stand. worse to look back in a year and think oh i really do wish i'd said something yeah i agree then to say something and like feel hurt for a bit you know at least you know where you start that's the worst thing about it it's like the not knowing being in the shadows that's the worst i'd rather

she turned around and said to me i just don't want to be with be around you anymore i think you're boring and i think our lives are too different then just like live in like a green limbo horrific give me the hard truth yeah tell me my breath smells and you don't want to be around me anymore yeah do you know what I mean

then we can move on let us know how you get on babe though good luck yeah I love you just voice note us back Rihanna loves it she loves a repeat offender don't you babe

make this autumn the tastiest season yet with farm fresh produce and easy autumn inspired recipes delivered right to your door with HelloFresh. Whip up tasty restaurant style meals in your own kitchen without the high price tag of takeout and in less time than it takes to get delivery. HelloFresh has saved me so many times. And now my in-laws think I can actually cook, even though all I've done is followed the recipe and had the ingredients delivered to my door. But babe, you are cooking. It's absolutely genius.

And also, it's not like you're going to be stuck doing one recipe that you're good at because there's variety from HelloFresh. There's so much choice. Come on. You can get 10 free meals at hellofresh.com slash free Ali G. Applied across seven boxes. New subscribers only.

Varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com slash free Ali G. You're welcome. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave a Message, if you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything.

Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think, girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Okay, Enrique, number two. Hey, girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Okay, and weekend number two. Hey, girls. Thought I'd leave you a voice note. Wanted your opinion.

Love you both, by the way. Me and my friend booked tickets to Taylor Swift. She booked them. I transferred her. Whatever. So me and this girl have been, like, friends for a while. We were in the same friend group and we thought fab what a great idea let's do that so we booked it everything was fine a few months later

the whole group had a massive fallout and things between us have been a bit frosty to say the least and obviously our Taylor Swift show is coming up and I'm not too sure what to do because we haven't really spoken I've tried to reach out because at the end of the day it's Taylor Swift I still want to go but I just have a feeling it's going to be really awkward but we both still want to go see her so I just don't know what to do that was really long-winded but i get you get the idea love you bye love you um sorry i know you're not friends but could you ask your ex-friend to buy me some taylor swift tickets or why don't you just take al like why don't you ask her for both tickets i'll all go with you and then we've just solved your problem good idea that's much that's really contact me babe our emails in our in our bio oh it's so hard it's been a long

time since i've had a proper fallout like that and i have had a few of them and i think it depends what the fallout is about it depends what the fallout is about it depends the level of friendship it depends like there's so many variables yeah if it is something petty guys you need to get over it to go and have the best night of your life of the year this is the thing if anything's gonna fix it it'll be tater in some sequence singing love story that'll fix it but if it's a bit deeper like you know she shagged your boyfriend well your friend's boyfriend then like maybe give tater a miss you know yeah i just think tricky though that you've like paid like you need to figure out like what's going on there logistically because if you're not going to go together then you need to figure that out she has the friend has the yeah and she's transferred her like what's going on there logistically because if you're not going to go together,

then you need to figure that out. She has, the friend has the tickets. Yeah. And she's transferred her the money. So like logistically, you do need to like cool the air enough so that you can say, okay, hun, what are we actually going to do?

I would send a really like direct stern message to be like, hey. Hey. Hey. Hold on, I'm just workshopping. Hold on. I would say something like, hey, aware that our Taylor Swift date is coming up.

If you want to still go, I'd love to meet up before and like try and iron this out. Otherwise, please. Good, a pre-meet, pre-tay. Otherwise, please either send me my money back or send me both tickets and I'll pay you for an extra so I can take someone else. Yeah.

Like, you need to come at it from a purely logistical perspective. Yes, and almost you're saying, I'm going. Like, you're almost saying, I would go with you. You decide. You decide. Like, if you want to come with me... Put the ball in her court, basically. Yeah.

But I would try and hold on to the tickets if you want to go, because I don't think you should not go over that. 100%, I agree. Well, I don't know, it would be awkward to be sad, Nez. I know, but looking back on it, wouldn't you just be like, oh, I'm glad we did? I always think that, guys. I've had this before with friends where I've not done something

and now I look back and I think, I wish we'd gotten over that stupid fight. Yeah. I've told you, I will go to Chris Sta gotten over that stupid fight. Yeah. I've told you, I will go to Chris Stapleton with my ex in October. I will go. I think he sold the tickets, babe. He must have done. I can't reach out about that, to be fair.

No, no, no. I think the ship's sailed, actually. That is not the thing to say. But do you know what I mean? Like, I just, I mean, that would be odd and like a rogue choice, but there's certain things. The principle still stands of like. That you don't want to miss out on and like

at one point okay you loved each other or you were friends or whatever like it's not like going with a stranger i've done worse things with a stranger also good wait sorry pick that up pick that point up pick it up i think people do that for relationships they think oh i loved him once i have to fix it why do we not have that mentality when it comes to friends? Yeah, and especially if it was like a group fallout. Like, you know, sometimes you can go, God, that was a bit mental, wasn't it? You feeling okay? I'm feeling okay. Should we still go to Taylor Swift?

And it's fine. Like, it's not that deep, maybe. Maybe it is. I don't know what the fallout was about. It depends the level of deepness. Listen, how deep is your love, is the question. It would be awkward, though, to go if you're still low-key. I wonder if it's seated or if they're standing. It would be awkward though, to go if you're still low. You know, when you're like,

I wonder if it's seated, or if they're standing. When you're like, pretending to be, you know when you're, there is nothing worse, No, and you're right.

than pretending to be friends for a night. That is actually like hell. No, but your idea about meeting up first, is actually genius, and necessary, I think. A hundred percent.

You can't be going, you can't be raw dogging that. No raw dogging, the Taylor Swift concert, that's a bit much. No, no. Yeah, yeah bit much. No, no. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, no, that's a good piece of advice from Ali Mack.

But you have to be, like, she's not going to do it, so you have to do it first. Sorry, babe. And if you've messaged her and she's not replying... Go to her house. Go to her house, call her, phone her mum, get on Facebook.

I don't know. Or send her a PayPal request. Yeah. You have to do it first. Yeah. If she doesn't reply... Wait, sorry, what were you have to do it first yeah if she doesn't reply wait sorry what were you saying oh yeah

if she doesn't reply guys Al's gonna go to the GP and get diagnosed with ADHD yeah yeah guys I'm gonna go for the ADHD test my therapist the other day was like I think it's something

worth exploring when your therapist says that you know it's serious you and me both you and me both I'd be saving a lot of money if I got diagnosed with that I wouldn't be coming here every week thank you thank you um text her be the be a big

girl pants on and basically find logistical yeah get logistical find a way to get to taytay right should we have number three yep hi i've got a story um it's not advice it's just a story about myself so i'm gonna set the scene 18 year old me fresh at the pub first time out with my friends went a bit too hard i think um we leave the pub we get on a voy scooter really embarrassing in itself and we're scootering down the street and we get um catcalled by these lovely fellows. And 18-year-old me, very drunk, I'll be ashamed to say, actually turned around and started talking to them.

Oh my God. And I ended up, me and my two friends ended up chatting to them for a while in spoons. We then depart spoons and inebriated men these men were 10 years older by the way um do with that what you will and we go back to the little house on the really dodgy end of town and we uh we sit and we watch some crappy tv show for a little bit and then uh my friend starts kissing um this this bloke and she goes into another room and i start kissing the other bloke and my poor friend i feel terrible about this to do to this day she very kindly left the room and unfortunately just

sat watching tiktoks in the kitchen whilst my friend lost her virginity with a doorless room, in a doorless room, on a bed with no bed sheets. And I gave a man a tit wank on a sofa. Yeah, it was an interesting evening. So at least, I'm sorry'm sorry Megan you had to sit there and witness that I hope she forgives me bye

there's more oh good stop it oh also just to add crucial details I actually got a review by text message afterwards 10 out of 10 blowy

so pretty impressive my work actually sorry 10 out of 10 what blowy blowy sorry and she gave him a tit wank i don't even know that i know the logistics of a tit wank babe you i haven't got tits i'm sorry it's not looking good for you i would never the option of you never would never no it's not gonna happen in your lifetime sadly to be able to give a man a tit wank can i just say i resonate very strongly with this voice note at the moment i feel like yeah yeah i don't actually think we can go into the details

we don't need to go into the details of the raw dogging i've been doing recently but that because you will be on the floor grossed out you're on the floor but the mess that you made there i see you huh i see you i get it i get it girl. Listen, never have I ever known catcalling to work. So... Yeah, well done, boys, actually. Actually, boys, because we're trying to cancel catcalling and you're out there making it work. You're actually pioneers of this generation.

You are doing it for all the misogynists everywhere. Catcall those women. It works. Jesus. I mean, listen, there's nothing that bonds two women together than raw dogging next to each other. Yeah, than a doorless room, a sheetless bed,

and a 10 out of 10 blowjob. And the grunts that you can hear next to you, you know, it's all so melodious and beautiful. Holly will never let me live this down, that once we were at this house party when we were like, sorry, I was having this conversation with someone the other day.

I think in the Cotswolds we started a lot earlier. Yeah, because you had nothing else to do. Exactly. So I'm going to say we were 17. We weren't. We were probably 15. I don't think 15 is that young. No.

Well, we weren't shagging. Oh, I was shagging at 15. Maybe I was younger. Anyway, whatever. Doesn't matter. And we were at this house party on a Friday. And I do not remember this, but she says that I was giving a blowjob. Believe Holly.

While she was lying next to me. Because you know when you all used to stay in people's houses and you would just lie like in a row with like sleeping bags or whatever. We did that in the Cotswolds. I don't know if anyone else does that. It's country things. And she to this day is like,

yeah, but remember that time that you gave Pessy Pox a blowjob? And I was lying right next to you and I'm like, I did not. But she says I did. Anyway, I think, you know, we're still friends, and she's forgiven me, and I think it's kind of... Oh, I don't think there's an issue with it.

I think it's actually... I think it's safe, actually. Yeah, because you've got to get out of jail card immediately if you need her. I like the doorless virginity losing, actually, because you've got a tag team. Wait, maybe we should start doing that. Yeah, leave the door open, babe.

I mean, I won't be shagging, but you can shag next door. If Raw had fitter friends. Yeah, I know. Sorry, babe. We're scraping the barrel a bit. I'm only joking. No, babe,

you haven't met the tall ones yet. Oh, they're not even. I've met a few of them. Yeah, they're not. I met them at your birthday. No, they're not all of them. You didn't come to his birthday.

I mean, to be honest with you, at his birthday, they've all got girlfriends. Yeah, good on them. They're good boys. But that would be ideal, actually. Then we could do some doorless dogging

next to each other. Yeah. Sorry, Enrique3, I love that you called them the blokey blokes. Like, the blokey blokes are just bloking. I'm in zoos

with the blokey blokes. Everyone knows what you mean when you say blokey blokes. You can imagine as well, can't you, the flat? You can imagine the laminate furniture, the't you, the flat? You can imagine the laminate furniture,

the leather sofa, the big TV. Like the only thing they will have in that flat is a big TV. And it's leather, the leather, the like fake leather. And it's like cracked. Yes, and they offer you a drink, but they put it in a mug. Yeah, it's a direct mug. Oh, yeah, that'll be it. That'll be it.

And you go to brush your teeth in the morning and you think, I can't, there's nothing here. No soap, no toothpaste, just a blue rim around the sink. I don't think that there's a problem here, actually. What is the problem here? I think you've had a good night and I think she just needs to get it off her chest that, you know, it was a little bit messy

and they'd had one too many and she made a bit of a silly decision in the moment. And I think it's absolutely fine. I mean, I think maybe don't repeat that. Maybe don't go after the cat callers next time. This is my main problem with it, babe. How you managed to get cat called and think, actually...

Oh, yeah, I want to ride him. Tania, I've never looked back and, like, checked if they're a ride. Me neither. Maybe they could be fair. Okay, well, we must take note. I don't know that I want to, like, end up with a cat caller. Like, they're a hobby. I wouldn't love to be with someone that's, like, doing cat calling on a Wednesday.

No. Like, I'd like to avoid. Avoid, ideally. At all costs. At your most elevated self. Exactly. Probably you don't want to be shagging quack callers. Ah, quack callers.

But, babe. Twat callers, I suppose. Yes. Precisely. Precisely. But you also, you know, got to live life. are quack callers but baby quack callers I suppose yes precisely but you also you know gotta live life also it's hard isn't it

when you've had a few bevvies to be the elevated self but you and me both do you know what I mean I think wow if I'd have been elevated I would not have done

that that thing so that's good ah yeah yeah baby okay Enrique1 you must reach out to your friend you must try you must try yeah

you can just try and then you can always say I tried my best 100 you can walk away knowing that you did all that you could and that if they don't want to give back to you then that's that on them it's on you it's on them Enrique number two you must go to Taylor Swift yeah basically don't not go because of her find a way to go with or without her yes and therefore

you have to be the person that makes that happen logistically so get texting yeah text as if you own the tickets yeah good

as if they're in your possession you do you paid for half of them yeah and like if she feels uncomfortable sorry good for you I don't sucks to be you

I'll go on my own send me the tickets thank you so much I've actually got Ali Mack to take so could you please fucking send them to me she

shit she not guys voice note back because she will go with you I will go with you Bible Enrique number three my star of the week

really good only because she feels in kindred spirits with you at the moment no only because you gave a tit wank oh yeah very old school by the way

have you ever given a tit wank. Oh, yeah. Very old school, by the way. Have you ever given a tit wank? I did try. Yeah. What is happening now? Do you have to push your boobs together? You need to have

ginormous jugulars. I mean, you've got to have chebs the size of watermelons. Yeah. I think it's old school for the women with massive boobies. Really?

Do they ask you for it? I don't know. I think... I don't... Anyone with bigger tits than me has big tits, okay? I don't think they... No, mine aren't bigger. I don't know. I think... I don't... Anyone with bigger tits than me has big tits, okay? I don't think they... No, mine aren't big. I can't, like, when I push them together, they don't touch.

Babe, in that taller top, they do. Yeah, in the taller top. But he would need to be from above. He'd need to almost be on this way. Like, on top of you. He'd basically need to be sitting on my face. And then he'd need to go this route. Because this route, there's not much down there

to be honest with you. Listen, our WhatsApp is open. If you want to send a video demonstration, we'd be happy to receive it and we would like to watch. Yeah,

Rihanna would love to watch that. Rihanna would love homework, Spanish class and then tit wank class for you, Rihanna. Okay?

That's what you need. I'll be doing question of the week. Yeah. Talk to us again about this jingle. Richard, play the jingle

if there is one. Play the jingle right now, Richard, and put it in the audio version too because she's so rich she won't even watch us. Question of the week. Go on. This is my favourite. When is it acceptable to say I love you?

Oh, God. As soon as you feel it, straight away is fine. You need to wait six months to a year. Oh, God. As soon as you feel it, straight away is fine. You need to wait six months to a year. Oh, no. Six months was maybe a bit long, but like a long time. Do you know what I mean? Like you basically, you wait or you go straight away. What was your answer?

I can't help it. And I actually think if I was in my elevated self and my rational self, maybe I would... Not say it straight away. Well, because you don't love them. Yeah. Because you don't know them. Yeah. Whereas I would say say it straight away well because you don't love them yeah because you don't know them yeah

whereas I would say it within five minutes I'd probably say it before I've met them if I've made up my mind that I love them if they have the door open do you know what I mean

I love you I love people currently who don't know I exist so I can love someone I've been on a date with no no but you don't love them but that's what I mean

like even in that feeling you know when you get overwhelmed by that feeling it's like what is love in that moment because like you love raw do you know what i mean yeah you didn't love raw probably when you said you loved him yeah i think i do i do i think this i mean this is a whole separate topic but i think in the first throes of love or whatever you want to call it it is that is what it is it's just lush and like pure like it is obsession at its most like raw form it actually is it takes over your body it

is pure obsession but i'm that is not love the more i love people the more i realize how how far removed it is from that initial feeling what actually love really means yeah it's not being obsessed with someone it's it's like it's so quiet but then it's so hard because how long do you wait four years because what was it four years do you felt that like love like i would love him yeah for me it was about four five years you know what i mean yeah imagine if you hadn't said it that whole time but also i think like No, no, listen. I loved him. I knew... I had that feeling that everyone knows

when you feel like it's, like, going to explode out of your body. And I said it there. Actually, he said it first, but I knew I already... I said it straight away back. Yeah. But the love that was that love

is not the love that I have now. Yeah. Of course it's not. Because how could it be? I didn't know him. Exactly. But then it's, like, how much weight do didn't know him exactly but then it's like how much weight do we put on the word love because exactly you're right like you would have to wait

yeah a long time i think if you're talking about when you first feel that emotional response i think sit with it for a bit don't just say it like you know when sometimes when you can't not say it especially if you're like an on the sleever like me, you do need to just let it be in you for a second. 100%. Because it's like, it's not going anywhere. And I do think we kind of use it as like almost a stage. Yeah.

So, you know, you're like exclusive and then you're like, like X, Y, Z. I do think we use that love as like, okay, I'm in. Like I'm two feet now. Yeah. and I feel like if you do do that too soon sometimes you can like shoot yourself in the foot 100% 100% and it's not about not feeling those feelings it's not about being true to you it's just like tell your bestie I also think sometimes it does put this like really weighty pressure on a relationship that isn't ready for that yet because like saying I love you when you're you know when you're like in that moment and you're like I it's intense

so intense and then like what you expect each other to like do everything for each other so quickly but that's not that's not normal yeah you know sorry that just made me so excited to get to that moment again to be like I love you oh my, if I get that again, praise be. Of course you will, babe. Well, you never know. I don't know. I also, as I get older, really, the value that I place on a different type of love is so much greater. Of course. Like,

yeah. Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean, but I know that that takes time to build, hold, and to have. 100%. Well, 76% of the galley said, say it as soon as you feel it. And only 24% said, you need to have. 100%. Well, 76% of the galleys said, say it as soon as you feel it. And only 24% said, you need to wait. So the galleys are out there

wearing their hearts on their sleeves and I kind of love that for them. Do as you will. Protect your heart. Protect your heart. Protect your heart. Yeah. Thank you so much for another epic episode

of Leave a Message, if I may say so myself. Thank you so much for another epic episode of Leave a Message, if I may say so myself. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you guys, love you. We love you. See you next week. Bye.