Leave A Message with Ally & G - 3 - Stick or Twist: Lessons in Love, Lies & Couple Accounts

Episode Date: March 20, 2024

We're getting in our feels this week as Ally & G are diving into your relationship dilemmas to help you spot the difference between Mr Right and Mr Wrong Un (featuring the inside track on Ally's boyfriend... AKA all of our boyfriend!). From being stabbed in the back by a friend to knowing if this excursion you're on is actually a date, with a sprinkling of manipulation, lies and lessons from heartbreak. Everyday could be Valentine's Day if men didn't suck. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

so this f is your bag it is my finally finally finally something i can talk about go on then tell the good people your current relationship status right so i have been with my boyfriend everyone probably knows him and oh my god his instagram uh follow requests are off the charts yeah all the galleys is him yeah uh it's raw he's actually our boyfriend i don't know why i call him my boyfriend he we do fully share him we know we celebrate shared anniversary and all that sort of stuff he bought us both flowers on valentine's day as he should um but we met at uni and we did long distance for close to three years no it's wild they did not only did they do long distance they did long distance whilst they were both at uni which is like bristol to newcastle which is like

the opposite ends of the country that's love do you know what i mean and then we had a bit of a crossroads at four years because like i think at four years you're kind of look and G can vouch for this she's just come out of a four-year relationship you're kind of not yet fucked if you get out at four years you're just on the car yeah I was just over three but yeah it is it's that kind of like three to four years where you're ready for the next step if you're going to do it i think and you can rebuild your life like it doesn't feel like oh my god i spent my entire 20s with that one person yeah and a lot of the time well especially for us it's like you don't own a house together you're not looking at getting engaged but you're looking at the next steps of

where to take your relationship and you're right it's kind of like stick or twist stick or twist so we did have that crossroads so we did stick um but like not lightly like and i think some people might look at us and think oh they had it so like now i would say our relationship is quite easy because we live together and we you know i was saying to him the other day we're about to hit seven years i was like are you gonna get going to get the seven-year itch? He was like, yeah, I think I might just, you know, call it quits. But like now... Imagine, you've done seven years. I'm like, I'm sorry, Rory, you're not going anywhere. Seven years, I've given you.

We were 20 when I met, and like now I'm... Almost 30. Oh my God, don't. You saying that cracked my Botox. Actually, that's really bad. Babe, it's already cracked.

I don't think we were saying that. I know. Why have you not rebooked? Because I can't afford it. Someone, could someone, we should start a GoFundMe

because her Botox wears off so goddamn quickly. Yeah, and I am single so I do need to look my best. 100%. Yeah. Anyway, yeah, we've been together

for seven years and our relationship now is quite easy because we live together we're in the sink of like being together but also it's quite amazing babe sorry to mention your age again but it's quite amazing that you have gone from 20 to 28 like a lot of people don't grow in parallel you can grow apart and a lot of people who were at uni like people that we knew that were together at uni you know like everyone has their boyfriend and girlfriend at uni they all split up because of that exact reason at 24 25 you suddenly realize

i'm no nothing like the person i was at 2021 yeah and i think there's a lot to i've got a lot of things to say just generally about like how to navigate that i think because it now every you know now we look like picture perfect by the way we're not because i've got you wouldn't think that of an evening when we're all wearing his work shirt and he should be wearing his dinner shirt my god if anyone doesn't know this about me i can blow my top in 10 seconds no sorry it's not the shirt it's the jeans isn't it like when he wears the wrong jeans the work jeans instead of the going out jeans last night oh my big baby blouse. Like, oh my God, he put on this, on Friday night,

we went to dinner and he put on this shirt and I said, you always fucking wear that shirt. And he was like, I'll just not, shall I just go out naked because whatever I wear is wrong.

So like, but I think, yeah, there's a lot of, there's a lot of peaks and troughs. No, but your conflict resolution is very good.

You have very shared values. You have shared interests. The way you spend time is very good. You have very shared values. You have shared interests. The way you spend time is the same. Like you are a very enjoyable couple to be around. We really have worked on getting it right for us. And it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. He is my rock and my... I always say he's like my anchor in all of my crazy.

Sorry, that actually makes me... It's because I never say nice things about him. Oh my God. Don't worry about it. Sorry, I've had a full moment there. Sorry. Oh my God. are you okay I just think like sorry I just think you're fucking crazy yeah actually I do actually just think you're so amazing and like no but I'm not everyone would get you and the way that he gets you in the way that he is with you and you are with each other like yeah it's quite moving sorry oh babe that's actually really thanks

okay this is a bit sloppy like he's gonna listen to this and be like oh my god they're obsessed with me yeah well we are um so that's good yeah um I am the opposite I have I would still say recently six months that five months I would still say recently, six months? Five months? I would think it's now six. Almost March will be six, yeah. Yeah. That's gone quick.

Fucking hell. Time flies when you're heartbroken, girls. My God. Yeah, so I was in a three, three and a half year relationship with someone and we broke up due to so many different reasons. We were also long distance, but I didn't didn't maneuver the storm as well as al also we never had an ending point which i think is really important everyone says that about long distance relationships without an ending point it's really hardcore i think it was more than the distance oh yeah that was just that was like the obstacle

but it's an obstacle that can be overcome it was was many straws on a camel's back, I would say. And there was one final one. Yeah. That really just, you know, couldn't do it anymore. Yeah, there was a lot. And like, in hindsight, this is how I kind of explain it. And I think Holz, one of my best friends, like who I live with and knows me very well and knew him very well.

She came up with this metaphor that honestly, I just think explains it perfectly. I felt like I was walking along with a backpack on. Like the problems in my relationship were like a backpack and you know, it was fine. I can walk up a mountain with a backpack. And then when we broke off and I broke up and I took off the backpack, it was like one of those like bergens. Like cut bergens? It was, you know, like an enormous like trekking bag. Babe, do you mean a burden?

A bergen. That's what it's called, isn't it? A burger. It was like a burger. So fucking delicious. You know in MSES, who does wins there? Like, get your burgons on and it's those huge bags

that are like basically the same size as you. I think that's what I was dealing with. So anyway, I'm now single, but I have, you know,

been in a relationship and come out of one, so I feel like... My socks are out and no one's bothered to tell me oh i liked it i thought you were going for the kind of indigo look um no what i will say about g is that she has um actually taught me so much in her in her heartbreak because um it was a bit touch and go for a while i'm not gonna lie to you and i think the conviction that you had

in that one setting has actually dictated quite a dramatic change in you in general yeah i think that's fair and i think babe not very many people can do that and you don't really give yourself enough credit for it because lots of people just stay because they're so terrified of the unknown and it is terrifying to walk away once my switch flipped holmes always tells this story the last weekend that we were together he was at our flat and he was just about to leave and i was like holly holly where's that um where's that wire where's that laptop charger and i was gathering like all of his things hadn't spoken to her about the fact that i felt like we were gonna break. And she was just like so confused. She was like, why are you gathering all these bits?

Why are you desperate to find that laptop charger? What's wrong with you? And then he shut the door. I sobbed and I was like, we're breaking up. But yeah, it was the most conviction I've ever had over anything in my life, ever. I don't have much conviction, actually. That's not true. Well, I'm learning.

Yeah, okay. She's learning. It's a learning curve. It's a work in progress. I'm a whip. Girls, what can I say? Sorry, should we learning. Yeah, okay. She's learning. It's a learning curve. She's a work in progress. I'm a whip. Girls, what can I say? Sorry, should we get a voice note then? Come on then.

Well, it would make sense to say that today we are talking about relationship dilemmas. If you're in a relationship, hopefully... We weren't just here to dump our trauma on you, basically. Yes, sorry about that. Or for me to have a little cry, for God's sake. We're here to talk about relationship dilemmas. Whatever it is, really. You've got an issue, you've got a question, you about relationship dilemmas, whatever it is, really.

You've got an issue, you've got a question, you've got a funny story, whatever it is. Hopefully we're going to be able to help. Touch and go on that. TBC. Hey, guys. So I was seeing this guy for a year and a half, and we broke up because he was flirting with my best friend and she was flirting back and it was causing massive issues in the group, like the friendship group.

And me and her had been friends for seven years and, you know, I introduced them and I just found it all a bit weird. So we broke up on the group holiday, like our friend group holiday. So that was really awkward awkward I felt so bad but then four days later they admitted that they had feelings for each other all of my friends knew and no one told me and now they are in a relationship they have been for a few months now and she is continuing to be the exact same as she was and manipulating and lying to everyone um and they are doing the exact same things as we used to do and yeah so that's that but we were friends for so long that it was so shocking and like none of my female friends are friends with her anymore um to be fair on them they didn't know about the situation until I told them.

But all of my other friends knew and no one told me, which was great. So that was a bit of a dilemma. Babe. You've got to get some new friends, babe. It's like that Olivia Rodrigo song. Do you get deja vu?

Do you know that one? He might be, like they're doing the same things. He might accidentally call her the wrong name. Disgusting. I'm sorry. Okay, can I just say. What's her name?

Oh, what are the galleys called this week? How about Gertrude? Love it. Gert Gertrude good Gertrude number one there's so many things to unpack there like the fact that like we joke right we've got a shared boyfriend that's a joke I would never when I walked into the bedroom the other day didn't seem like a joke then were your legs in the air listen you asked me okay and I said I'd do a favour because you were tired

to be fair I did ask I won't do it every week we're joking and like I would never in my right mind even be able to look at Rory in that way because he's your partner

like I can't even I wouldn't even be able to try to flirt with him or find him attractive because he's like he's like he's an inanimate object it's impossible that would be I don't understand it how sorry did she say how long they've been friends for seven years oh my god seven years i mean it's not a friend is it listen yeah i've heard of stories where it's like two couples that are really good friends family friends like going on holidays together blah blah blah i've had this and the wife and the husband of the opposite partners have been having an affair like that's like the white lotus yeah that did happen in the white lotus, it's a bit inconspicuous.

We don't actually know what happened there, but I would say yes. Fully they were shagging. I don't think that's inconspicuous. I thought she just gave him blowy. I can't remember the storyline, actually. Either way, blowy's not inconspicuous. Either way, it's not great, is it?

It's not brilliant. It's so hurtful and so bad, and I feel so sorry for Gertrude because you would just lose all trust in not only men and relationships but your core friendship relationships in your life back to trusting nobody everyone's an island I'm sorry I hate to say it but Hallie's safe over there honestly no look there are no words that anyone could say to make what happened better like it's that is possibly the most like heart-wrenching disgusting thing that

could have happened to you but I this is a really annoying thing to say and people say this and you just think son off but there will be in there a lesson I know you can't see it yet and my mum used to say this to me all the time everyone you, everyone in your life is a lesson or a blessing. I don't know what the lesson is for you. Maybe there was something that you could have learned along the way. Obviously, they're not fucking... Or that he really wasn't right for you. Or that she...

She wasn't a good friend. Yeah, and that it needed to be shoved in front of your face so much that you shouldn't keep her in your life anymore. I would hope that if I had started... I had a stroke and started flirting with raw you'd be like pull me to one side and be like babe like do you want to slow down on that what you're doing but it depends if it was obvious like if we were on holiday and then all of a sudden you were like oh by the way me and raw have been shagging and by the way everyone else

here knew about it i would i mean you should get rid of every single one of those friends like everyone that knew every single person in the bin absolutely no way and if they're trying recycle no not recycle babe recycle bin that you have to clear on your laptop i don't know where that joke was going i didn't really have it like dump like honestly no get them out of your life and don't you dare let anyone i don't know if this the situation, but don't let anyone gaslight you into thinking that you might have contributed. Yeah, or like you should have known, you should have seen it.

No, I'm sorry. You should be able to trust your partner and your best friend to be getting on in a friendly setting and not shagging behind your back. Disgusting. I take more issue with the friend. They vote him in.

Okay, no, I'm sorry. I really hate to generalise and I don't like to do this, but like she's been your best mate for seven years your sisters she owes you a lot you've only been with him a year and a half right do you know what i mean i wouldn't put it past him i really i don't like to say that but like it's not it's not something we like to say but it's been proven time and time again i mean it's not the most shocking thing ever for a boy to cheat but it is shocking for your best fucking friend of seven years to like woo your boyfriend it's

actually disgusting it's disgusting babe i'm so sorry there's nothing we can say that can make it better other than like honestly take every single one of those friends other than you deserve better and you can do better and that's why this has all come out in such a horrible way sorry oh she's standing up go on have you got a front wedgie it's the worst but what i want to say is that this could be a situation where you feel like you deserved it or like don't let the don't let no we're not having any of that no please don't let it seep in and don't you dare start questioning yourself or whether you could have done anything differently it's not whether you're not good enough right no they are both wrong and they're pigs pigs i'm so sorry god that's really wow what a way to start lara get us in at the deep end

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That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to HelloFresh dot com slash free Ali G. You're welcome. OK, got you. Number two, we're ready for you. Hey, Galleys. I was just wondering how you know when you're on a date with someone. Because a boy asked me to the cinema. So I'm 19, by the way, at uni. A boy asked me to the cinema that I'm friends with.

And he paid for the tickets and we went for a drink afterwards. But I still don't know if it was a date or if it was just two friends going to the cinema together. And he happened to pay because he's just a nice person. So let me know. How do you know if it's a date or just two friends going out? Good question. How do you know? That's a good question.

How do you know if he really loves you? What did she say, Cher? Oh, it's in his kiss, is it? Oh, that's a different song. No, I say a prayer with every heartbeat. What song am I singing? I fall in love whenever we meet. I think we're singing two different songs.

I've got very confused. Oh. What does Cher say about... Babe, I'm so frightened. You've taken it. Usher. Us it... Usher. Usher, Usher. You've taken it left.

I'm singing the one that... It's in his case. That's where it is. But I think I got confused. Anyway, how do you know? Sorry, isn't that Rick Astley? Is that Rick Astley? Do that again.

I'm never going to give you up. Rick Rowling. Bless Gertrude, she's only 19 19 she's got no idea of these references these musical references sorry sorry these people that show in our age um how do you know if it's a date i have quite a lot of things to say on this because one of my best mates is a guy called jack and we've always had i mean we've been friends for 10 like over 10 years now 12 13 years and when i say g never believes me but like i like lots of love jack and i love you till the end of the world he will be listening to this like i would not have sex with him if he was the last person on planet earth okay

if we had to save the human race maybe i would but like our friendship has just always been so platonic that it wouldn't be weird if we went out and he bought tickets and and drinks because I blah we've done that like I would just be like well I'll get the next one next time we go for dinner I'll pick it up so I think it depends on the nature of your relationship already like if you're getting the vibe that he kind of wants to go there then then probably he's trying to date you. Or that you kind of like him. Or, like, if you find yourself... Like, if you're questioning whether it's a date,

I think that probably means that you would like it to be, potentially, because there's blurred lines. Like, with you and Jack, there's no blurred lines, and there never has been. Yeah, there's never been. You've almost, like, articulated that. Yeah, that's true. Like, you are mates.

So it would never be, you would never be like, is this a date? Ever. Ever. But if you're, but can I say, I believe that people know about energy.

If you're even thinking that way, you probably know that they might be a bit of a grey area. Yeah. Because like if you went, if I went for dinner with Jack and I suddenly felt like, oh, is this a date?

Something's weird. Already I know this, the whole vibe of our friendships changed. Everything's gone wrong. Yeah. Yeah. So like, I think it's also like cues. You know when they touch you,

like Jack would like push me over like a boy. Yeah, he's not going to like stroke your knee. No, like exactly. If they're like, if they like hug you and they put your hand in, I always think that when they hold your hand, like they're in the small of your back. It's small things. But then if this is a friend who like i had this at uni actually in second year can i stop you

there what's that on your elbow babe oh i fell down my stairs yeah i know it's quite bad isn't it my stairs honestly you have to be a mountain goat to get up and down i know i i live in the attic it looks like you've got like oh oh, it is just a burn. That's not cool. Yeah, anyway, it's fine. I'm over it. I really did slip, actually, you know, when you're alone and you go, no!

Because you really hurt yourself. And it's not funny, because if you were actually alone, I'd fall at the dead. Horrible. No, but it's not funny, because if you're alone and you'd have broken your back, well, we'd be fucked. Yeah, yeah, it would all be over.

I need a panic button, honestly, for those stairs. They're so bad. You had a friend so bad um you had this at uni so I was in second year and I I we were in a friendship group and there was a guy that we were like friendly in the group setting I really I really liked him like I think I fancied him but I didn't quite know that at the time anyway we kind of had started hanging out a bit like one-on-one I had assumed it was kind of leading towards the fact that we were like liking each other we then slept together one night when we were really drunk that would confirm that but that ruined everything it wasn't that it wasn't meant to be that and we should have just stayed friends and then we lost a friendship.

So in hindsight, knowing everything I know now and probably having the confidence I have now, if I was even having a tiny bit of an inkling that I would like this to be more than just friends and I fancy them, next time I'd probably say, is this a date? Yeah. Even just as a kind of candidly,

like a bit of a joke, but I would want to see how they reacted to that because I think it's dangerous to just be like treading those waters without any communication. Very good advice. Sorry, we've come back to communication. You should have just asked. I think that is the thing.

Like, whoa, sorry, normally we hang out in a group. Is this a date? This feels a bit datey. Did you want to go on a date? Exactly. And then he'd go, no, babe, I just feels a bit datey. Did you want to go on a date? Exactly. And then he'd go, no, babe, I just thought you were the only person

that would want to watch Avengers with me. And you'd go, fair. Or I thought you were skin and I'll just get this one and you can get the next one. Exactly, exactly. Because it might be a case of overthinking, but it might be a case of not overthinking.

And then everyone's like in muddy waters. Yeah, because also if he's like, yeah, it is a date because you're hot stuff and sorry, I didn't have the balls to ask. I just wanted to take you to the cinema. Then she's like in muddy waters. Yeah, because also if he's like, yeah, it is a date because you're hot stuff and sorry I didn't have the balls to ask. I just wanted to take you to the cinema. Then she's like, great. Okay, I'm open to it. Or she's like, no, I want to be friends

and at least you can have the conversation without it being weird. Yeah. That's how you know, babe. You ask. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Hey, Ali and G. Just wanted to apologise in advance for this being such a long voice note. There is quite a lot of drama in this relationship debacle. So it started when I was in college and 17 years old. I was single and looking for a relationship. So my friend Callum introduced me to the only other lesbian that he knew

and a fellow friend of his. We ended up actually hitting it off and getting along really well and soon started dating. Things were going great. And one day I walked two hours to go see her and spend the day with her. Right as I left, we ended up saying I love you for the first time, and things were going great. So I travelled another two hours back to college and just went about my day. Later, out of the blue that night, she ended up sending me a breakup message

saying that she just wants us to be friends for now. I was a little upset, but in the end agreed, because at the end of the day I still cared about her. Anyway, a few days later, I then see on her social media that she's dating essentially a carbon copy of me, and start thinking that maybe there was a bit of an overlap, and that's the reason that we broke up. Not only this, she also sent me a message and a follow request, asking me to follow her couple account with said girl,

which I thought was a bit snaky, but being the supportive friend I am, I ended up following it anyway. I just went about my day. I just went about everything, didn't really message her, and just kind of moved on. A few weeks later,

she then texted me out of the blue, saying that the girl that she left me for had cheated on her, and they had broken up. She begged me for a second chance, saying that she missed me, and because I still had lingering feelings for her, i agreed to maybe give things another shot however the next day i then meet up with one of my best mates only to find out that she had been sending new photographs to him

at the same time that we discussed getting back together so i sent her a text saying that nothing would ever happen between us in the future and that i didn't want her to be a part of my life anymore before swiftly blocking her from all of my social media oh my god is that it she's sorry hold on a lot went on there anyway so who was sending the news I missed that so let me relay what just happened to you so Gertrude's lover who then went out with like the b-type version yeah Gertrude's ex now right so they Right. So they were just talking about getting back together and then one of Gertrude's mates said, oh, you're getting back with blah blah. She's been sending me nudes.

Even though she hadn't. No, she had, babe. She's been sending nudes. Fine, send nudes. That's fine. Is it? Wait, sorry. When you're asking to get back with someone.

No, wait, babe, sorry. I'm really confused. Shall I just start from the top? Gertrude. Let me start from the top. You ready? Yeah. Gertrude gets introduced me start from the top. You ready? Yeah. Gertrude gets introduced to this girl,

Susan. She thinks, I like her. They get on very well. Yeah. She's walking miles and miles. There's no public transport in this town. She's walking to find her.

Eventually, they get together. They love each other. They say love you. Yeah, yeah, I got this. The very next day, breaks up with her. Out of nowhere. Has a stroke for some reason. day breaks up with her out of nowhere has a stroke

for some reason ends up with another girl susan b-tech gertrude b-tech gertrude b-tech gertrude and susan they're going out they've made a couple account and she wants to say friends with gertrude so she says oh follow the account would you blah blah blah anyway b-tech gertrude then cheats on susan sure susan tail between her legs comes back she says gertrude i cheats on Susan sure Susan tail between her legs comes back she says Gertrude I want to be with you I wish I could be with you again

Gertrude's then at college the next day and she's talking to her mate and she's going oh you know Susan wants to get back with me and he's going Susan

Susan's been sending me nudes got it timestamp yesterday when she's also saying to you she wants to get back together got it okay now I'm following

good yeah the first point is why did you not get a cab when she's also saying to you she wants to get back together. Got it. Okay, now I'm following. Good. Yeah, the first point is why did you not get a cab? Why does Uber not exist in your world? I think that there would probably have been more time-efficient ways to get to her. I'm trying to think of anyone I'd walk two hours for. I wouldn't even really get on a train or a plane for someone for two hours.

I like a walk, don't get me wrong, but two hours in one direction is not really setting my heart on fire it's not efficient i'm into leo woodall at the moment but would i walk two hours that's a lie babe i'm gonna need to get a restraining order if leo woodall said babe listen to me i'm in manchester it's a three hour walk each way you'd say yep i'll be on my merry way see you in three hours i get boots in my cupboard leo Don't you worry. Got a blister plaster in my bag. I've got my umbrella and my backpack.

I'm on my way. Back a snack. That to one side. You made it there. Well done. And you're in love. And then she just dumps you. All this savage dumping.

I just think the problem is, is most of the time, I suppose dumping does come out of the blue. And it is one person deciding this is the end. So it's never a nice way to do it. It doesn't always have to come out of the blue. It doesn't have to. And I think that a lot of the times when people feel,

it's that feeling of being blindsided that's like so jarring. You're like, why didn't you say there were so many problems? Yeah. Especially in such a short space of time when you haven't been together that long. And you just just you just said i love you can i tell you what i think has happened she's been spooked by her own love well no because she said she thinks there might have been an overlap between her and the other girl and the other girl won the race b tech b tech gertrude won the race sadly and then why did she say i love you it's wild what's your stance on how early to say i love you i said it really quickly your stance on how early to say i love you i said

it really quickly yeah i say i just think someone on the tube earlier i'm not suggesting that you do it after like just okay i think people do it because they feel like it's an obstacle to just get done with and it's so awkward and it's like oh my god i just have to say i love you don't do it if you feel like you don't actually love them don't wait six months because it's not been the perfect moment and there's a full moon in the sky and there aren't dolphins jumping in the sea and you have to say I love you at this perfect moment some people like the other person to say it first though I'll tell you mine was the worst ever we were shagging you said it during sex I didn't say it I was ready to say it and I did think god I hope he does it

first and he obviously just chickened out he wasn't even looking at me and I was facing the goddamn pillow and he was like sorry were you sorry sorry what position were you together it was missionary but it was more like face down and just like get on with the job do you know what I mean we're very say what we're here for i love you and then i was like hold on a second yeah yeah and i said to him hold on a minute you what and he was like looked me in the eye he was like i love you and i was like do you know that i actually was cross i was like do you not think you could have picked a better fucking time than when you were inside boy can't catch a break can't even say i love you properly. I said it first with my ex. I said it.

It was so random, actually. He was spending Christmas with me and my family. We'd only been together about two months. Crazy, it was COVID, so anything goes. I don't think that's the best recommendation, actually. I got really drunk and I did just say to him, I really love you. He then didn't say it until later that night we got into bed. Oh, dear. And he was like, you know that thing you said earlier? I really love you he then didn't say it until later that night we got into bed and he

was like you know that thing you said earlier I do love you what did he say when you actually said it kind of just laughed at me like I was like crazy which I kind of was yeah it was early doors okay so I love you aside I can't really explain why she's gone with the b-tech baffling if if she really is a b-tech version of you yeah um carbon copy she said to be fair i just might be on a level i just think just generally people are a bit shit i'm sorry the theme of this has been a bit i just think what's not meant for you isn't meant for you and like you're not meant to be with that girl like you need a bigger pond with more fish yeah where you can sow your

seeds and find good women that are going to treat you well do you know what i mean and not send nudes behind your back it's wild no nude shaming send away but not while you're trying to like court someone it makes no sense well i'm not nude shaming but i would warn against it because like it can get you into sorry quite serious now actually because it can't get you into a world of trouble and like nudes this is a whole separate topic but nudes are like you and your property and it's your body and like don't just send them willy-nilly to people that you don't know or trust no and also girls with tats don't forget you cannot show your face but they're going to be able to know who you are oh god i didn't even if you've got a sleeve do you know what i mean unfortunately for me i also

have brown nipples like baby you're not the only person on planet earth with brown nipples i know but babe if you put me in a lineup of like me and like all the nine if i had your tits i would walk around my top off all the time yeah but okay i'm garrett i have sent oh god i hope my mom doesn't listen oh we've done it all sheila it's really no joke. And people can like honestly clone you and fake you and deep fake you and all this shit. Like don't do it unless you're going to marry them and like you trust them implicitly.

And even then we've learned, can you trust anyone? Here we are back again. Back again to get in on an island. Yeah, sorry, babe. Sorry that that's happened to you. And you know, let pigs lie in shit she's obviously a pig amen i've got nothing better to say than that let pigs lie in shit sorry can i just say i know this really shows my age i was listening to jeremy vine this morning you've got

to stop saying that i'm sorry we're a player we're appealing to the younger generation guys i'm gonna say this with my chest radio one's gone down the shitter, so I listen to Radio 2 now. Let's not be saying that. Baby, we might want to get on there one day. Well, exactly. So you best get some new presenting talent as well, so to you.

Jeremy Vine says finance. Finance? Finance instead of finance. That's got to be a gag. He said it very seriously. Finance. Because he said we say financial. What's the... But I would say financial. I would say financial, but maybe. Because you said we say financial. What's the...

But I would say financial. I would say financial, but maybe that's because we're posh. Financial sounds posher. Oh, I'm down the financial centre today. Oh, financial. No, I think they go financial. I'm Anna Stern.

I'm Maya Stern. And I'm going to the financial centre today. That's it. Really good. good okay go on read the answer me so i can recap best friend sat them all take them to the dump i've got no other advice from you other than cut every toxic living thing out of your life also i would just say like take time with that to really heal from it because that is savage like we can we can like joke about it and trivialize it but that is honestly one of the most hurtful things and will really for a second potentially make you feel very untrustworthy and like not untrustworthy babe am i in the matrix like what's going on and what did

i do to deserve this so i think you just need to like take time to really heal from that and know that there are good people out there that do have strong morals and won't shag your boyfriend behind your back i think also a lot of it is i when people betray you you need a why you must you feel like you need to know why that person did it don't go looking for it because the chances are the advance the answers you're going to get are unsatisfactory they can make you they made bad decisions yeah and you were collateral and it's're going to get are unsatisfactory. They can make you... They made bad decisions. Yeah. And you were collateral. And it's not going to give you the closure that you need. And you unfortunately have to find a way to close that wound on your own.

I don't know. You know, find people that fill up your cup and love you and support you and like... And definitely, Al's right. And I don't often agree with this girl on her island, but I would separate myself from those people that knew and didn't tell you. Wow.

That's mind-blowing. I just can't believe that. I just don't understand how you can do that to someone. It's how you can step that line that blows my mind. How you can even look at that person? As soon as a friend of mine

introduces their partner, that's not a boy to me that I would ever find attractive. They're just like a vase. Sure. They're an like a vase. Sure. They're an ornament. Exactly. Like they're not, they're an accessory to my gorgeous friend.

I'm not looking at, they're not sexualized to me anymore. It's like they've been like, you know on Take Me Out where they make the light red. That's what happens to me. Yes. I'm not fancying you. But sadly, babe, not everyone's like you, clearly. Clearly, they've got the green light on. Dump.

Get out. How do you know? Never gonna give you up. Never gonna let you... Baby, play that on Radio 2. Well, I don't. I know it. I'm very keen on the playlist.

We've got to cut this out because it's actually so embarrassing that I'm sitting next to someone that listens to Radio 2. I really don't condone that. I really don't. I think it's highly embarrassing. Babe, there are young people that... These girls are 19.

They don't know who Jeremy Vine or Rick Astley are. Get to know. Rick Astley is a sex icon. Sorry, I've got to leave. That is absolutely disgusting. Jeremy Vine isn't a sex icon, probably. I think he'd even admit that. Neither is Rick Astley, babe.

From the 80s, those women, those menopausal women love Rick Astley. Are you menopausal? Is anyone listening to us menopausal? I goddamn hope not, apart from our mothers, although I honestly hope they don't listen to this. How do you know you're on a date, you ask? Yeah, and you've got to kind of...

You can do it in a just, like a jokey way. Maybe do it with your shoulder. You can maybe go, hey, is this a date? Are we on a date? Hey, are we on a date? Don't say it with your chest, say it with your shoulder. Hey. It's no biggie, I'm just wondering if this is a date.

But also, you've got to use your spidey senses a bit, and I think that girls do have this. Like, read between the lines. If he's not leaning in, if he's read between the lines like if he's not leaning in if he's not like putting a hand if he's not if he's just treating you like a maid then it's just a mate buying you a ticket yeah and you've just gone to the cinema together yeah but if you are getting that vibe of like even a look you know sometimes when they look at you funny you think what the fuck was that I honestly think I'm like repellent to men I don't remember the last time I've had a

look like that sorry I find that highly difficult to believe baby sorry I'm like repellent to men. I don't remember the last time I've had a look like that. Sorry. I find that highly difficult to believe, baby. Sorry, I'm down in the depths because my dating apps are so dry. I'm just being self-deprecating. You did have a good run, though. I had a good run and I'm retired now.

Yeah. So don't say that. Ask and... Check in with those spidey senses. Yeah, be a witch, basically. Basically. And the last one is the B-Tech girl. God, honestly, why is everyone so shit? I just feel like the resounding feedback spidey senses yeah be a witch basically basically and the last one is the b-tech girl god honestly

why is everyone so shit i just feel like the resounding feedback in general from the galleys is their friends are shit and their boyfriends are shit and i just think what is that it yeah what is that and why do we need to learn these lessons the hard way always why i'll tell you why because i was this person i trusted everyone and everyone everyone is mum and his dog and la la la give my heart to everyone you she's on the other side of the fence from me

you can only learn the hard way if something happens to you that makes you think oh I can't do that with everyone I meet yes because otherwise it's like you know my mum always used to say don't trust everyone

and don't give it I mean you just think fuck off what do you know you my mum always used to say, don't trust everyone and don't give it. I mean, you just think, fuck off, what do you know? You have to learn it for yourself. And it is painful. But I also now think, in my aged years, I'm really grateful for those experiences because it also taught me who I am and, like, that I can weather the storm

and, like, I don't really need anyone. I'm sorry, I know that sounds like an awful thing, but, I mean, really deep deep down i deeply need people no but like realistically the only person you can trust is yourself yeah and like the only person that will get you through those times is yourself and you have to love and nurture and support yourself and like not let these psychos make you believe anything that you deserve less or that you don't deserve, whatever that bullshit is. Also, I know you think I'm like all la-di-da skipping through the meadows,

giving my heart and my vagina to everyone I meet. But I do believe that you can't expect from others what you expect from yourself. And if you hold yourself to a certain set of standards, i.e. you wouldn't cheat, you wouldn't... Look at your best friend's boyfriend. Do you i mean you actually sadly even though you feel like you should be able to you can't expect that from everyone agree and i think that's it's a very very difficult lesson to learn and it's a tough pill and also it's a fine line because you know

to find love you have to be open to it so yes to be in a relationship you have to be a little bit vulnerable and you have to take the risk i think often when you're in a relationship or even in a friendship people can give you signs that we choose to ignore and you should only like don't ignore them because people take them at face value yeah people show sides of themselves to you that make you think oh you're not very trustworthy yeah but you're not very loyal but you still choose to trust them yeah so you think i was having a bad day right he's busy at work only when they show you green card after green card after green card can you trust them yeah mic drop never gonna give you up thank you so much for listening if you love this episode then please babe can you think of something else to say? You say that every time. Um, yeah, no worries. Um, if you...

If you're in a pit of despair. Let me do it then. If you've spent the last 40 minutes having a giggle, having a nice time, thinking, I agree with the girls,

I like the girls, maybe you could also take that like into your podcast platform. Give us a like, follow and a subscribe. Sure. Right.

Hold on. Do that again. Like, follow, subscribe. Share, review. Leave us five stars and leave a message. Goodbye. Adios. Thank you.