Leave A Message with Ally & G - 32 - Shooting Your Shot & Dating In The Friend Group

Episode Date: October 9, 2024

Dating a friend... is it a match made in heaven or a recipe for disaster? Ally & G are donning their monocles and deerstalker hats to solve the crime of the century: potentially breaking up the friend group! From the complexities of dating within the friend group to dealing with unexpected romantic advances... and what do you do if your friends partner is acting inappropriately? This weeks episode of Leave A Message is full of personal stories, secret admirers and slimy boyfriends... plus a Question of the Week about shooting your shot (and dealing with the consequences). Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

🎵 Start from the beginning. Oh, from the top. From the top. Okay. We go again. Welcome to... Are you recording?

Rihanna's shitting herself. She thinks she's going to get a telling off by Ali Mack. You won't. She had a great mood today, babe. Aren't you? Just stand... So sorry. Rihanna, babe, you're safe.

I'll stand in between the two of you. Don't worry. You just stand in front of her. Just did a brilliant intro and it didn't record. It's always better second time round. No defamation to Rahana. No, no, no. No, never. Can I just say, this is like a weird segue, sorry, but

I listened to this podcast called Darling Shine and one of the girls really struggled to get pregnant. And anyway, it was a huge thing. They spoke about it on their pod for years. Is this Fisher's dog? Yeah, yeah, Chloe Fisher. Okay, so she then did a pod ep with Fish once they'd had the baby.

Like, she was like, I don't know, like three months postpartum or something. It was really like raw, emotional, amazing, apparently. No, his voice, it was like robot. Everything he said was like... So they had to redo it, like listening like weirdly. Or maybe it was her voice that was robot. So anyway, someone's voice was robot and the whole thing was just absolutely fucked

and she then had to redo it and, like, kind of, like, rehab the conversation and Fish wasn't there because he was DJing someone in Ibiza. So all I'm saying is you could always have it worse. Imagine. I'm never going to work again. What a long way to get to that fucking punchline.

We basically, before, we were just talking about how ugly my toe colour is, and the fact that she's about to go on a date, and the first date she had with this guy was a brunch date on a Sunday, which was a bit rogue for her. It's really rogue for me, because I do like dim lighting. Like, when I walked in and I

saw him, it was like, he's way more attractive than I thought he was going to be. So then I, like, bricked it. I was, like, fully shaken. I picked up my cappuccino, like, this? I was like, am I gay? It's just a boy. Relax.'s just a boy relax people might think that about you by the way i'm fair like they didn't anticipate for you to be so i think that often i think i'm a catfish i think i look better in pictures 100 i think you just look the exact same do you think that's a huge compliment in your account i'm team rahana turn the recording on. Do you not sometimes think in pictures... Turn off mic down now, Rihanna. Sometimes in pictures,

you look like a fairy from another world. What, and I don't in real life? You just look like... Don't get me wrong, you're beautiful, but you don't look like a fairy from another world. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or a bush baby. Yeah, yeah.

A bush baby's quite a good thing. Also, I have a very, like... I think, I don't know what they call this, a canvas face. So, like, people look at me and they see what they want to see. Yeah, I have a very like, I think, I think I don't know what they call this, a canvas face. So like, people look at me and they see what they want to see. Yeah, that's true.

They see Gillian Anderson, they see their mum's best friend, they see their ex-girlfriend, they see whatever they want to see and they'll all tell me, you look like my friend, or you look like Kate Winslet. Like they just tell me

so many different names and I'm like, I couldn't possibly look like every single one of those people. So I must have a canvas face. Anyway, she's packed a pair of knickers.

Anyway, I've got my knickers. I've got my femme fresh because I just, I'm in the mood. And if he's like, this is the thing, I've had a date with him, but I almost feel more nervous this time round. Why have you,

right, let's therapise that. Why do you think that? Guys, Al's really been my therapist recently. Like, she's really, like, channelling her therapist onto me. Yeah, Nikos just sort of, like, sort of, like, speaks to me. Yeah, I feel like Nikos is, like, in my life because of you.

Go on, what do you want to ask me? No, why do you think you feel more nervous? What do you think, if you, like, really, you know, if you sat with that emotion? I think because the first one, because I was so, like, caught off guard, because I was, like, on a brunch date, and I was like, this feels so weird.

You didn't have time to process. I didn't process any of it. So I'm like, now when I replay the conversations we had, I'm like, wait, like, was there a vibe? Or did I just fancy him? Or, like, la-la-la-la-la-la-la. And, like, now when I replay the conversations we had, I'm like, wait, like, was there a vibe? Or did I just fancy him? Or like, la, la, la, la, la, la, la. And like, I don't know anything. So I almost feel like it's the first date, hey, too. Okay, this is interesting, because he's a bit older. Yeah. And this morning, sent her a message saying, shall I send you a car? Do you like that? Yeah.

Told you. Told you. And we are, babe, our immediate response, the two of us, we were like, that is so misogynistic. Yeah, that is.

What? I don't need a car. I don't need you to send me a car. I can make, I can get my own Uber. I don't need. And I said to her, I said, girls, other.

Other girls would be swept off their feet they'd be they'd be in his bed yesterday i think it's because i'll tell you why like i get it's like by the way everyone if you can't you can't see her rahana is stunned into silence she can't even say a thing she can't move a muscle she's stunned scared to speak i just think it's so funny it's so circumstantial because for example if tonight I get lucky and he then offers to get me an uber home for example I would take that so I don't know why they're like being brought to him feels so like biblical because it's like you're being a bit pimped out I feel a bit like a cool girl maybe if I'm like being put in his uber and like sent to his doorstep

it's a bit feels like I'm being kept and it's like, I'm not, like I'm, I will not be a kept woman, although I will be. I've just decided I will be. I think we've come to a common ground now. Feminism's out the window, really.

We must find, I've got a ditch rule because there are richer men. There are very many richer men. There'll always be richer men and they'll be shorter and uglier, so don't worry about it. Babe,

you didn't specify tall and rich. You just said rich. Rihanna, you'd like that? 100%.lier, so don't worry about it. Babe, you didn't specify tall and rich. You just said rich. Rihanna, you'd like that? 100%. Wait, so, misogynistic. Let's unpick that. Let's unpick that, sure. It's just a bit like...

It doesn't feel misogynistic. Like, it doesn't feel like it's hating women to put them in a car. It's just a bit, like, gross. Is it to the restaurant? Yeah. Oh! I thought, like, I don't understand

if it was, like, car to my house and then you went together. No, it's to the... Well, actually, I'll tell you what it actually is. It was from my house to his office to pick him up to go to the restaurant together.

So cute. So Mr. Big and Carrie. Yes. Exactly. The only reason... Well, he passed on his number. Yeah. If I don't get lucky,

I'll send him your way. I'll be like, I've got a place you can send a car. I don't know. You are in London. He'll get writing. I don't like older men, so. Yeah.

He's not 50. How old? He's 33. Too old. How old are you? I'm 25. Oh, she's far too young. So I do two years.

You're within 10 years, it's fine. No, two years above. She hasn't even had a smear test yet. Come on. I have. I'm like, you know I have. I've had my fanny. She hasn't even had a smear test yet. Come on. I have. I'm like, you know I have. I've had my fanny smeared. We've discussed the smear test.

Should we do the intro? Can you do the intro? Why don't we do that? Babe, I think you can do it this week. Hi, everyone. This is Leave a Message. Thank you so much for coming back week on week. I actually can't believe it.

This is the podcast where we listen to your voice notes, your dilemmas your stories your questions and we unpick them together with joy humor and lack of wisdom this week the galleys are called oh what do you think carrie carrie really good voice note number one hi galleys thought i'd just leave a message for you so this is about a stalker situation my boyfriend so my boyfriend was at work he's a tree surgeon so he works like on the street you know he's in town he's visible this girl approaches him kind of drives past drives back to the low they exchange a few words whatever nothing, nothing significant. We're at home, a couple of hours later,

he gets a message request from her and a follow request. Weird thing being, really weird thing being actually, they never exchanged names or anything of the sort. So how this girl has found his Instagram is actually beyond me. They've only got one mutual, so it's like they could have known each other anyways she messages him basically saying it was lovely to meet you whatever i hope i found the right person was gonna buy you guys some sweets but you were gone by the time we get back she

inserts a picture of the sweets and it's basically her shooting her shot she was like we're going out for a drink in a couple of weeks with some friends. Like, would you want to join? Bring other half if you've got one, dot, dot, dot. He responds to that saying, thanks, but I'm really busy at the moment. My girlfriend's moving to uni in a couple of weeks. So maybe not. She then goes on to basically say, like, where's she going? What's she doing? Good luck to her.

You know, nice things. And then basically saying you can do it in three weeks when she's gone and I was like bitch watch yourself um her last message was funny how the world turns finally got a friend now I just think that's a little bit weird my boyfriend doesn't seem to deep it the fact that he's um got a possible flea and harvey on his hands but still that is like quite next level stalking um no offense to the girl as well she's like i'm sure she's really lovely probably just needs a friend um and fair enough but yeah let me know if i'm being dramatic or this is actually kind of fucking weird because i think it's a bit stalkerish sorry i have some

questions yeah this girl has sent all of these messages in one day yeah i think it's a bit stalkerish. Sorry, I have some questions. Yeah, go on. So this girl has sent all of these messages in one day. Yeah, I think she's done a bit of back and forth. Yeah. So she's just found him off the street. So she's seen him, the tree surgeon, because he's visible. He's out on the town. She's acting like the village pedo

and wants to get him sweets, apparently. I don't know what that is. It's so weird. But anyway, she's seen him, she saw his fear. I'm assuming what she's done is, babe, just for a little bit of intel for you, she's seen the, like, slogan of the company or something on, like, the van.

I'm assuming. I was going to say, babe. She's gone online. Anyone I could have done that. Yeah. She's found him on the company website, company's house, LinkedIn. I don't know.

She's found him. Then she's got his IG. She's then follow requested. He's obviously private. Slid in his DMms and is pursuing him all this has all happened in one day does it matter well kind of because like if it's a little flurry of messages you can kind of excuse it away but if it's repeated messages over an extended period of time that is fucking weird yeah i i have a feeling it might be extended because if they're she's already had the chance to discuss it

with her boyfriend yeah then she's got an eye on like the combo like I think that's even weird it's it's but also either way it's persistent

because he said no to the drinks and then she said oh we can go for drinks in a few weeks time then and like now I've got a friend yeah when she's fucking gone it's a bit baby reindeer

I have to say do you think I think it's just like shooting the shot. If he's explicitly said no. I've got a girlfriend, I know. But then this is the thing, like, I was having this conversation the other day with a friend,

and I'll keep this super broad, because I don't need to be... No defamation. Defamating her. How do you say that? Defaming her. Defaming her. Sure, we don't need to defame anyone.

Or her partner. But he also is visible. Visible job. defaming her sure we don't need to defame anyone or her partner but he also is visible visible job and he gets quite a lot of attention in the DMs likes I think I know

who you're talking about yeah responding and we were talking about it and we were like you know you can trust your partner

as much as you want but when that is like being like thrown at them constantly it's like how do you ask them to be really boundaried with

that because like this guy is like okay i don't want to be rude it's just this random girl i don't fancy i don't worry about it but it's like also like will she be blocked will she now be blocked i don't know how you say that because it feels a little bit controlling well my thing is that like why did you even feel the need to reply i wouldn't't reply. And I do think like, do we need to be that polite? I don't know that we need to be polite to strangers. Like guys, full disclosure, we're not replying to every sugar daddy in our DM saying thank you, but no thank you.

Thanks Nigel for the offer, but this time I've got to say no. We're not doing that. And then we're definitely not being like, oh yeah, I'm glad you've made a friend out of me. Okay, there was this guy, I don't know if it was a guy or a girl. The last couple of weeks,

it's been hella weird with us. Like in our emails, in our DMs. Yeah, this is really good. On every platform. Basically, they requested a cameo from us, but the cameo, I will defame this person. I don't know their name. They requested a cameo,

but the cameo was, can you fist yourself? So an OnlyFans request. Basically. They wanted us to fit our fists in our mouth. was can you fist yourself? So an OnlyFans request. Basically. They wanted us to fit our fists in our mouth. And not actual full fisting, don't worry. It was up top fisting. It was PG fisting, yeah.

It was above board fisting. But they just like would not, like they harassed us in every platform. And we had blocked them within half a day because we were like, this is so weird and wacko behaviour. Also, like, right to know response. Do you know what I mean? All the boyfriends out there,

you could just take a right to know response. It's different if in real life, she's harassing you and being like, do you want to go for a drink? And you can be like, no, I've got a girlfriend. But do you even need to tell her? Yeah. Why do you feel the need to do that?

I do just think, especially with like social media now as it is, like it is a platform to like flirt and make advances so sorry it might just be a slide in the dm it might just be likes it might be sending a nude i don't know what you're receiving in your dms but it's it's a vehicle to like flirting and to like want to be with you it's literally called slide in the dms so you have to treat it i think like you're being hit on when you're out and about. It's the same. And it's going to make your partner feel uncomfortable. And like, no,

babe, you're not crazy. Do you know what I mean? Like, sad that you feel crazy. It's okay to not enjoy your boyfriend being advanced. I would say to my boyfriend, do you really, why do you feel the need to even like reply to that? Why do you like, do you have to be that polite? Yeah. She's nobody. You don't know her. Yeah. Why do you need to respond to that? He you like do you have to be that polite yeah she's nobody you don't know her yeah why do you need to respond to that he's scared she might start throwing sweets at him whilst he's trying to cut trees oh this whole thing like no defamation to tree surgeons they are sexy why sorry because they're like hanging from trees it's just sexy i just think like did we really need to call them tree surgeons kind of cool could you not have just called them like i don't know like tree hairdressers like gardeners i don't know, tree hairdressers.

Or like gardeners. I don't know. It's very serious what they do, babe, because trees are living beings. You can literally cut a tree halfway and it'll still grow. Yeah. Like at the bottom, like midway through.

That's amazing. It's not surgery, is it? It low-key is. It low-key is. Sorry, I just wanted to pick up on the fact that isn't it weird how sometimes... I need to shut up.

Oh my God, my dress is on the floor, girls. What will I do? I'll look a state. I won't get a cab home. I won't get a hashtag gifted cab if I look a mess. I was just going to say, isn't it funny how sometimes there's a degree of your partner being like found attractive that is like a good thing?

Like if we all got a bit of attention would you be like, yeah, that's right, that's my man. but then there's like a limit to like okay i don't when you're getting like all the attention all the time because it's like kind of exhausting and boring because i feel like i'm batting off tennis balls out of that like machine well it's only fun if you guys can share in the fun like the lot of it if we're always getting hit on by loads of girls and he was like oh my god lol yeah like she's wacko. Yeah. It's not fun if you're not, like, having fun with it. Do you know what I mean?

Like, if it's not a joke and then you do start... Sorry. What? I was thinking about... Sorry. Sorry. I can't even say it, I don't think. Raw really fancies his girl.

Yeah. And the way he was talking about her was killing me. That's not allowed either. He's got to get in the bin for that behaviour. No, he was having a lot. And I think that is absolutely hilarious because we were sat there having dinner, voice noting her. Yeah. And it's hilarious. And he wanted to go on holiday with her, like he's

obsessed with her. And he wanted to cook her, like him, like everything. He was talking, he was fully voice noting us, me, like, oh, my life with her would be so good. And I was just like lo us me like oh my life with her would be so good and I was just like lolling like are you mad

even last night in bed because I was like do you wake up every day you know when you just I was like do you wake up every day and just feel so lucky to just like be lying next to you

he was like yeah I'm so lucky I just can't wait to wake up every day I'm like whoa I was like would you rather be with a blonde girl? Because every girl you've ever fancied.

Yeah, he loves blondes. He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'd like, oh, if I woke up next to, I'd be like, woohoo.

He would as well. He loves her. Sorry, that was by the by. Inappropriate behaviour all around the shop. I mean, it's the thing is, like we're all human

and like, also it's flattering. Like if someone. I mean, it's the thing is like we're all human and like also it's flattering. Like if someone pays you attention, it's flattering. So that's why with your partner, you want to be a bit like, are you enjoying it a bit much, hun? Like are you replying because you're like loving the fact that she wants to take you for drinks? And you've got to like keep a lid on that.

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plan that's 10 free hellofresh meals just by going to hellofresh.com G. You're welcome. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave a Message, if you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think, girls need to hear this, get voice noting voice number two girls this has literally just

happened and i feel like it might help you give me some good advice and i need all the advice i can get i'm in crisis i just finished my last shift at said store um and the guy was starting his shift as i was ending mine so he walks in I was like good morning he said good morning whatever I'm then signing out and I was like how are you this is my last chance I need to actually have a conversation with this man so he was like yeah fine I was like not very convincing we go on to talk about the football like yeah fine I was like not very convincing we go on to talk about the football that he played yesterday and I said oh great yay and then as I was leaving he was like oh wait was it your last shift today and I was like yeah it was actually why are you gonna miss me and he went somewhat

and I went uh sorry you were meant to say absolutely 100% and he said oh sorry absolutely 100% and yeah thank you see you later literally said thank you see you later I'm now dying but also would it have been worse if I just stood there and was like staring at him because that would have been so embarrassing too in my head if that had happened to me oh my god I'd literally never stop thinking about it I'd be like oh my god he wants me to miss him I would be sent into a spiral for the next coming days so have i just done that to him do boys have the same thought process do i now add him and see if he has me back i'm gonna leave it a few days because i've literally just left and that would be so embarrassing but i'm

not sure how long i can hold out i need help i've literally spoken to my friends about it and they're like oh okay don't know like i don't know that's not helpful so please girls give me all the advice well i can answer that for you honey boys do not feel the same he has not thought about it not in the same way that you have like he might have thought about it like gosh never flirted with her before and actually that was quite fun she's fit and that will be it so like the difference as well as boys don't like he's not going to have gone and actually that was quite fun she's fit and that will be it so like the difference as well as boys don't like he's not going to have gone and said that to another soul on planet earth yeah so you're like giving it this life of its own because you're talking about it yeah you're

limerencing it and you're getting excited you're living in lust you're like whoa i think i love him like when someone asks him how his day was he won't't even mention that. No, no. That's not in a mean way. No, no. It will be more of a passing thought. Like, oh, that was funny. Oh, she was fair. Yeah. And the only way that you potentially are going to then pop into his mind for him to action it

is if you like see him again or if you add him on Instagram. Do you know what I mean? I agree. Listen, there's clever ways of doing it without you actually having to advance him. Like, you can like add him on Instagram. If you already have him on Instagram,

do a little thirst trap. Like, there's ways of catching them out. I think with boys, it's, like, also, like, I don't mean to, like, be so mean, but they're so, like, simple, and it's one slide at a time. Yeah. And so, like, it is.

And if, like, for example, he's, he's like watching tv he is actually just watching tv yeah or like to get into their psyche you have to it's like um regularity so like he has to think see you that that you followed him then he has to see a picture then he has to bump in so you're like constantly in his visual if you're not in his visual out of sight out of mind with boys basically 100 i do think, though, like, I'm not against being forward. Like, I don't know what your friends have said, but I kind of think if you fancy him,

you've got nothing to lose. Like, you can message him. It's a roll of the dice, to be honest with you. Yeah, but what's going to happen? You get rejected. You're being rejected anyway by, like, not being in his mind. I actually don't agree

because when you don't have a firm answer, you can fill in the gap and make it a good one. Make the answer, like, you can make your fairy tale better than the reality. Sure, but it's exhausting when you're just like,

oh, I can't wait to go to bed to think about my pretend boyfriend in my head. It gets so sad. So sad. Me and Rihanna feel that, like, so real. We're like, I can't wait to go to bed to get laid. Not really, just in my head. I agree.

You wouldn't shoot your shot. I know, 100%, shoot your shot. But you have to be, like, smart. Yeah, listen, there's a way't shoot your shot? No, no, 100%. Shoot your shot. But you have to be, like, smart. Yeah, listen, there's a way to shoot your shot. Also, you don't want to be, like, voice note number one where you're, like, beggy. Like, no one needs to beg for, like, a boy. Sorry, Hannah.

Sorry. I don't know. It's not her. It's the random girl. But I am sorry if she's listening to. Well done for shooting your shot. Because it's brave. It's so brave.

I shot my shot. Guys, I did an embarrassing shot shoot. Shall I tell you about my shot shoot? Who? Okay brave. It's so brave. I shot my shot. Guys, I did an embarrassing shot shoot. Shall I tell you about my shot shoot? Who? Okay,

so there's this guy I fancy. So I just like, actually. Is it who I'm thinking about? Yeah, I put up a thirst trap.

Yeah, from summer. Okay, I have to say though, guys, it didn't work. So like, it's not a guaranteed

success rate. It actually didn't work and I tried one too many times. I want to hear. Okay, so I put up a thirst trap. He replied. I literally shit my pants pants I was on the phone to Al I was on the phone to Holes I was on a hen do I was asking every single person on the hen do I was running around the pool I was like I don't know what to say what do I say I think I love him how will I make him fall in

love with me with just one reply anyway I replied you should have seen it was honestly like a board it was a board meeting I I zoomed everyone in. We got Roar involved. Roar did a few edits on the day. And it was honestly five words. Yeah, it was a few revisions. And it was like, in hindsight, it wasn't the best text I've ever sent.

Anyway, I don't think it's to do with that. Then like after that, like shot was kind of shot and like nothing really came of it. Then I got his number somehow. We were like chatting a bit. And then he sent me a voice note at one point and he was like,

we should go for a date. I was like, hell yeah, we should. Anyway, then nothing has come of it since. And now it's become like a kind of joke. And I was like, I've got one more shot. Go on, I've got one more. And she was like, I don't think you do. And I was like, no, I think I've got one more.

So now I'm just waiting for my final slingshot. This is the thing. I think you can shoot your shot, but basically don't pin expectations. No, and also you have to be willing. Like, do it for you, actually, more than anything. Yeah, and do you know what I will say as, like, the best piece of advice

is, the best, is that you have to allow their response to be their response. You can't, like, second guess what that means, read between the lines. If it's not yes or no, it's nothing. Do you know what I mean?

There's no nuance in their response because... Always don't do nuance. If they're keeping you on the hook, they're just keeping you on the hook because they don't know a yes or a no. That's the nuance. That's it. There's no more to it. And you have to accept that and be like, I'll be on my merry way now because they haven't said yes to the date. And don't go for one more shot.

No more shots. No, I am joking. Until I have a tequila. And then maybe I'm not. Carrie number three. Hey girls, I just wanted to leave you a message. I have a bit of a situation and I really don't know what to do. Basically, there's this guy and I've kind of had a crush on him

for a while, on and off. And he knows that I liked him. And a while back he told me he thought I was attractive and liked me and stuff but turns out he has a girlfriend and um last week went on a night out with him and some like his mates because we are friends and then he walked me home like held my hand but I think that's so I didn't like fall in the road or anything the next morning he was being a bit weird and he was like, me and my girlfriend will never break up. And I was like, okay, send me the wedding invitation. Like, I'm happy for you. And so I

didn't really talk to him after that because it was a bit weird. And then this Saturday, he was like, you haven't spoken to me since I walked you home. Like, what happened? Like, did I do something? I was like no sorry I just haven't really been speaking to anyone much I ended up going to watch the football with him and a mate he was like sober the whole time and I got really drunk because I hadn't eaten anything all day he was like flirting with me like when like he left over message and everything and I did flip back and I do feel bad about that I did and um I felt so bad I was like oh my god like I don't know what to do if you like before because I'm leaving for

uni and I'm trying to see everyone I know before that and he's like oh we can watch a movie and I was like I don't know and he's and he ended up saying like oh I don't think I can because I've got things to do and I was like thank god in my head because I didn't want to cross that boundary and we ended up going for a walk instead I was like that's fine like nothing can happen and then he tried to kiss me no like a couple of times no and I didn't obviously I didn't kiss him because that's not okay and I told him, even though I liked him, I'm not going to do that because he is in a relationship and I respect that fact.

And I don't want to be that type of person. I don't want to do that. Basically, he said something that like really bothered me about him and his girlfriend. And I just don't know if I should text her or what. And I actually managed to find her on Facebook. Right. But I don't know if I should text her or what and I actually managed to find her on Facebook right but I don't know if I should text her or not I need advice I'm sorry this is so long but I don't know what to do oh babe carry number three goodness goodness me what a mess you're a

bit of a pickle I have to say what a mess best get the clean up crew in you best get to uni and turn your phone off and change your phone number babe I don't know what I don't know what else there is to be done yeah that's actually a blessing that you're at like a crossroads and you're leaving this situation behind actually this man is a slimy little piece of shit why are you doing that say it as it is sister don't hold back why are you holding my hand why are you sorry to kiss me and then saying i'll never break up with my girlfriend like are you on crack there's very few people that like physical intimacy is allowed with when you're in a relationship exactly me and raw have held hands okay i'll admit it we have the ali was present and she enjoyed it it's not like but you know what i mean like that's not that's not a good example because you're it wouldn't be weird

if you held hands and I wasn't watching you. I mean, it probably would be. Like, genuinely, it probably would be. It's like weird. Yeah, maybe. You don't need to hold hands.

Like, for example, Go on. Jack and I, like, we would hug each other, but over my fucking dead body would we hold hands. Like, ever in my... I would not hold hands.

Bizarre. Ever. And we've been friends for coming up to 12, 13, 14 years. Do you know what I mean? And there is... If he started holding my hand, I would think there's something seriously wrong now. The vibe has shifted.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And this is not friends anymore. Yes. Because it's such a small thing, but actually it speaks volumes. Also, it's really hard as well when you're friends with, say in this instance, you're friends with the guy

and you don't know the girlfriend. Like, it's really difficult because it creates this like... That is a weird vibe. Yeah, it's such a weird vibe because she's like a character that actually like, if you wanted to, babe, and you really liked him, you could ignore. Like, I'm sure that's what happens. Like, people do ignore the fact that they have a partner

because outside of mind. Would you tell her? She said that he told me something. I don people do ignore the fact that they have a partner because outside of mind. Would you tell her? She said that he told me something. I don't know what the thing is, so it's hard to know. But also, he's tried to kiss you, so even if that's it... I don't know, though. It's really... To, like, actually go in and, like, you know,

know that this information is going to blow up their life, like, that is so hard. How do you try and kiss someone multiple times? I'm so sorry. What did you do? How do you try and kiss them multiple times? To no avail.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, like, just one more try. Now take the hint, babe. Do you know what I mean? Oh, you've got something under your shirt. Uh, yeah.

It's really hard, isn't it? Because it might not even blow up their relationship. Like, that might be something that she's not bothered by. But if... Sorry, your boyfriend tried to kiss me. That's not something she would be bothered by.

I think people have stayed with people for worse, yeah. Maybe it wouldn't blow up their life. But I'm sure it would be like, you know, a spanner in the works. Yeah, it's probably a spanner. It's not, you know... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'd pray it was a spanner. Ideally, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, I just think, like... This is so, like, yeah. You'd pray it was a spanner. I do, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I just think like, this is so like bait to say, but I just feel like there's a bit of a responsibility when you've been privy to that kind of behaviour because where else does he do that?

And what else is he doing? And actually... I would say don't. No, don't tell her. Don't tell her. I've had this. Don't tell them, don't tell them. This has to be so mega anonymous.

You're so bad at mega anonymous. Guys, we haven't even told you we've got to stop the pod because someone that I spoke about on the pod slid in my DMs. This will be our final episode, actually. There will be no more podcast.

The guy that she spoke about last week who, when the lights turned out and they were like kissing in the dark when they were kids. He slid in my DMs and asked if it was about him. And I was like, obviously, if you know, you know. Did you reply to his message? I said, if you know, you know. And he just put, ha, ha, ha.

Oh, my God. And now we've just decided, sorry, we can't. We can't do it. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. But I was like mortified. Because I was like, who listens? can't do it. It's not that deep. It's not that deep. It's mortifying. Because I was like, who listens?

Wait, it happened? Who listens? It's not like you lied. No, I didn't lie. No, no, it's the gods on it. It's my chest. It's just also, she does have a lot of secret stalkers.

I don't know who all these people are. But listening, listening like trees in Narnia. And then texting you. That's what I find weird. I'm sure I've got some of them too, but they're not in contact with me. You know it's you.

Why are you messaging me? What do you want me to say? Ha ha, lol. Ha ha, yeah. Orbs, because we were both there and you did it. Anyway, we won't be seeing you next week.

Sorry. Go on, give one more chance to save the pod. Mega anonymous. Mega anonymous. I have a friend. I have a friend.

She's called... Sorry, I've got another story I must tell. You just remind me. And Alice went on a skiing holiday. And on this skiing holiday, she also noticed that there was another group of boys. Basically, the boy in question that's calling Matthew is my friend.

Your friend, Ally Mac. Yeah. But Alice kind of like knows him second hand through me. Yeah. Alice's friend, let's call her Olivia, is Matthew's type.

But Matthew is in a long term relationship. Oh dear. Alice goes back to the chalet or wherever they're staying, the flat, whatever you call it.

And Olivia says, you will not believe, after you left, Matthew was all over me like a rash. And we all know he's got a girlfriend. And then the next day, Alice saw it with her own eyes. And I remember she voiced it to me. She was like, I actually can't believe what I've just seen. Like, this is so not kosher and no one can ever know.

And like, in theory, Matthew's girlfriend is that person. She doesn't know her. Alice like in theory Matthew's girlfriend is that person she doesn't know her Alice doesn't know Matthew's girlfriend the they're only mutual I guess is like me but like I just think if that's what you do in front of people who know you have a girlfriend what the hell are you doing when you're alone I tell her nothing happened but like it's if I saw raw doing that I'd be disgusted like it's it's not... They didn't snog. Nothing actually happened. But, like, the behaviour itself... Like on bad boyfriends.

When they're on that night out. It's like, it's too much. It's beggy. You're asking for attention. It's boring. Like, I don't like it. And I think I'd tell the girlfriend. But Alice didn't tell the girlfriend.

Wow, Alice. Because, like, to be honest with you, what are you going to say? I'm going to say your boyfriend's a pig. And I saw him being... No, no, that's a good leading line, Alice. Because like, to be honest with you, what are you going to say? I'm going to say your boyfriend's a pig. And I saw him being... No, no, that's a good leading line, guys. I saw him being unbelievably inappropriate with one of my friends

and I feel it's my duty to tell you. Can I say something? Sadly, I think. She won't believe me and then fine. Exactly. But then I've said it, my conscience is free. But it's not about you. That's the point.

What if it is about me? Not everything's about you. That's the point. I don't know if you know, babe. What if it is about me? Not everything's about you. What? Not everything's about me. What's the other story that you wanted to say? Oh, my fucking mother. I went into...

Anonymous. No, I'm fucking at you, Linda Reid, you little bitch. So she literally, she's obsessed with us. I know, I'm aware. She talks about us

everywhere she goes. Anyway, there's this coffee shop that we... Linda also loves me way more than she loves you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And my mum loves her way more I know, I'm aware. She talks about us everywhere she goes. Anyway, there's this coffee shop. Linda also loves me way more than she loves you. And my mum loves her way more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, whatever, she's obsessed. And she goes into this local coffee shop

that I always go into when I get home. Safe space, nice place to go. Just a coffee and a croissant. No one knows you there. Anyway, my first boyfriend, Polly Pinton's mum, now works there. My mum has obviously remembered that that's who she is. Befriended her, hangs out with her all the time.

The other day when I went to the dentist, where was she whilst I was in the dentist? In this coffee shop. So anyway, I have to go there to the coffee shop. Sorry, what? So then I say, oh my God, let's call her Jan. I was like, Jan, so good to see you. It's been so long, Obviously, kiss, kiss.

My mum sat there going, oh my God, she's got this podcast. And they, oh, what do you call him? Oh, what do you call him? Oh, Parley Pinton says it in front of his mum. I'm like, mum, I would love to get away with him never fucking listening to this or hearing me say his name that isn't very coded

you must get to the doctor do you think that's a normal thing what a mad thing to say and then she's saying is if also as if Jan

gets the reference of the peas like it's so bizarre the whole conversation I'm bright red like oh my god I'm all what did you say

I just said her my mother's having an actual aneurysm please ignore everything she's just said I. My mother's having an actual aneurysm right now. Please ignore everything she's just said. I've got 999, 999, get the ambulance here now.

Yeah, legit. I just continued to kind of ask her about him and his new girlfriend because I was just like, I would talk about anything else and I would like the ground to swallow me up.

Thank you. Mental. Linda, you must not be doing that. Actually, could you please, please, please. If I talk about someone in a pod, I do not want it directed to them.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah, we're trying to be anonymous here anyway you've got two um things i tell them al wouldn't but she is right it's not about you and actually if it's their relationship and maybe none of your business then maybe that's maybe that's the way it should stay yeah i'd tell them because it wouldn't be able to sit with me and i know it's not about me but that's my truth selfish i'm a selfish do-gooder and I don't know what to tell you. Should we do a roundup? Yes. Babe, have we had a star of the week recently?

No, we haven't. I feel like we kind of forgot that we did that. Right, anyway, bring it back. Bring it back, Richard. Carry number one with the tree surgeon. Yeah. It's just like Instagram activity pisses me off because i think everyone thinks it's fine it's not like you can reply once saying thanks but

no thanks and then you must block once no no no response necessary just activating my right to not reply yeah basically yeah yeah, put your big girl pants on and like, you know. One shot. Make your shot. And make it a good one, babe. Just make it like a joke about like something

in the conversation that you said. Do you know what I mean? But then also like play a bit of mind games. Like follow him, unfollow him. Follow him. So like you're always

like popping up in his notifications. Follow him, unfollow him. Follow him. No, because that just looks like you like followed him and then you got scared and then you followed him again.

Fine. Follow him, drop a thirst trap and hope for that just looks like you followed him, then you got scared, and then you followed him again. Fine. Follow him, drop a thirst trap, and hope for the best. Good. And then number three. Okay. Are we agreeing that you wouldn't tell the girlfriend? You can have a different opinion.

I don't like to have a different opinion. I like to be a sheep. Yeah, I know what I would do. I think I would struggle not to say something. If I was in her way, I would stop her from doing that. Yeah. Because it is...

Well, as a girlfriend yourself, maybe you know better. Well, I don't know. I would like to know. Thank you. But I... So you would like the girl to come to you and be like,

your boyfriend touched my tit. Because he's obsessed with tits. Okay, if it is that, then yeah. But if it... Okay, yeah, trying to get kissed is crossing the line. The line is crossed. Yeah, sorry, renegading on what I said.

You must tell him. Spanner in the work. Throw your spanner in. Like, I just think, I don't know, I also think this is how, like, boys get away with, like,

really mad behaviour because it's all a bit like, oh, no, shouldn't say, oh, no. And you're also afraid of being, like, gaslit that your truth

won't be heard because he'll just be like, no, he didn't. But it's like, you can say your truth. Your boyfriend was highly inappropriate with me. I just need you to know that. She won't believe you. Do you know what I mean? Mostly she won't believe you. But at least you did your part. Thank you. Come on.

Selfishness for the win. It's selfish selflessness. Brilliant. Thank you. Question of the week. Yeah my star. Sorry I wanted to give a star of the week. Go on. To number one what it is. Brilliant. Thank you. Question of the week. Yeah, my star. Sorry, I wanted to give a star of the week. Go on.

To number one. Tree surgeon. Okay. And I think they should be called surgeons. Sorry, I'll tell you why she's my star of the week. Because at the end she was like... Me? I'm your star of the week? No, tree surgeon.

She was like, I'm sure she's great. Like, no hate, no hate. Yeah, no hate, no hate. I just think it's hilarious. We do that all the time, babe. Also, you hate her and it's fine. Like me too. Whatever. Don't worry about it. Right. Question do that all the time, babe. Also, you hate her and it's fine. Like me too, whatever. Don't worry about it.

Right. Question of the week. Question of the week. Richard, play the jingle now. What do you do if you have a crush on a friend? Number one, tell them and risk them not feeling the same way. She's like that at number three, Carrie. Yeah, I know I read the brief.

Ignore! Don't you find her when she's like, get us all on her high horse, like, I read the brief. I'm in the same half head. I just think, shut up. Did you read the brief? Yes, I read the brief just when we were standing outside. To be fair, you did react to it.

Yeah. So you just pretended to read the brief. It's all coming out now. She reacted to it and she didn't even read it. I would like to keep my right to not reply. Ignore it because that's your friend. Okay, I think that you should say, but I don't think you should make any moves.

You have to verbalise it. What, like I think I fancy you? I feel like I don't think you should make any moves. You have to verbalize it. What, like I think I fancy you? I feel like I don't know what's going on, but I've just noticed my feelings are changing. Good. You're very articulate with things like this. Do you think in the moment you'd actually say them? Probably, yeah.

Really good. It depends. Like, you have to give some respect to your friendship and like the relationship that you have. You can't just like, also guys, I don't know. I've spent my life doing this once your feelings are there they will not go away until you look them in the face

yeah if it's there and it's niggling you it will not go away also it's hard to be friends when you like actively fancy someone and then they creep into your daydreams and your night dreams and your wet dreams then suddenly it's all a bit and then you can't hang out with them and have a pizza because you just feel that it's hard to have a pizza. You know what I mean? It's not when you've had pizza. I would say something like, I don't know what the hell's going on

and I know this is really weird and this is going to be, you're going to react weirdly because it is weird. Yeah. I've noticed my feelings have changed and I don't know what the fuck that is but I just feel like I need to tell you so that we can like at least have a conversation about it

and if that's, if you don't feel the same way maybe we need to like not be so friendly for a sec while I get over it you are alone in that thought process

because the galleys have said 60% I'd ignore it because that's my friend guys don't ignore it they're ignoring also Rohana's ignoring

head in the sand guys can I tell you something I watched this video TikTok the other day that was like do you know everyone you're gonna die

like you are literally gonna die and you get one life and if you don't grab that like tell him you love him yes shoot your shots

try something like you're all gonna die so like if you it is the truth do something do it even if it's a mistake do it

what have you actually got to lose I always think that like okay the worst that could happen sorry and, the worst that could happen. Sorry. And if the worst that could happen isn't someone dying, I'd do it.

In this case, I guess the worst that could happen is that you lose a friend. Yeah, but like, how good a friend are they anyway if you suddenly fancy them? But also... It's a different kind of friend. I don't think you need to lose them. I think you just need to like,

renegotiate the boundaries of your relationship. Yeah, but they might be like, freaked out. They might be like, whoa. I mean, if you told me, like, I'm in love with you. they might be like freaked out. They might be like, whoa. You told me, like, I'm in love with you. If I said I fancy you, you'd be like, whoa, can't share a pizza

with you ever again. Where's the camera? Where's the camera? Where's the camera? But do you know what I mean? Like, it would create, like, I don't know, Jack turned around and was like,

babe, I think I fancy you. I think you'd be like, sorry. I would just be like, I think then we need to just, like, take a hot sec and not be friends. Yeah, but would you ever forget that

no yeah no yeah no I wouldn't okay maybe that one you keep to yourself then unless you're willing to

lose them as a friend yeah shoot the shot but then accept them to feel a bit funny around you for a sec correct yeah

and that might take honestly years to get back to them feeling okay around you yeah and for you to be like I was joking yeah

lol I was like three shots deep. I never fancied you anyway. Disgusting. You're a loser. Guys, thank you for listening. Happy Wednesday. We will be back next week.

Don't worry, we're not actually cancelling the plug. We're only joking. I'm just going to be more careful about who I talk about. I don't know. We're joking to a limit because, you know,

if more people get in touch, we might have to seriously consider pulling the plug. It's not funny and it's mortifying. Maybe I'll start, like, just being really way better with my fake names.

Polly Pinton, babe. I don't think it's the most anonymous name of all time. It was meant to be funny and now I really regret it. Please send your voice notes, guys. We literally can't do this

pod without you and please subscribe. Thank you. Love you. We love you we love you you