Leave A Message with Ally & G - 33 - Obsessions, Sex & Suspicious Habits

Episode Date: October 16, 2024

Are you through with standing in line to clubs you'll never get in? Well, this is Leave A Message, a club you never have to stand in line for because in the club, we all fam. On this weeks episode, Ally & G are exploring the wrong side of romance: from obsessive behaviours to setting boundaries within a relationship, and how to deal with unwanted advances. They also discuss the ethics of consuming porn whilst in a relationship... is it time to end the OnlyFans subscription? If we can learn one thing from this episode it's this: respect your boundaries, communicate directly and - most importantly - follow and subscribe for more. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

how's that tiktok going it's 3379 uh it's not great someone's commented you don't you two don't understand the meaning of the word true we are like queens of self-sabotage actually who do you think is worse at self-sabotage. Actually, who do you think is worse at self-sabotaging, me or you? Probably you. It's me. It is me.

In different ways though, I can be quite self-sabotaging in quite like destructive emotional ways. Yeah, you can. You're just quite, I would say you're... It's like a bit more hidden. Yeah, yours is a tiny bit more subtle and also I do think you're like very conscious not to enact in those behaviours because you're currently It's like a bit more hidden. Yeah, yours is a tiny bit more subtle. And also I do think you're like very conscious

not to enact in those behaviours because you're currently in your like healing era. Yeah. Like you're currently in your growth era. So I feel like you're like conscious of not doing that. Whereas I'm still sometimes a bit self-sabotaging in my lots of different ways. And you get swept away in the wave, in the current.

I love a current. We've got to talk about Blink Barrel Bar. Oh my God. Sorry, I was actually just Blink Brow Bar. Oh my God. Sorry, I was actually just looking at you. Yeah. You look magnificent. I know she said

she was better in pictures but you do look magnificent with those brows. Well, the only thing I will say, they don't stay laminated for like that long, do they?

Like yours are still quite like, boom. Because I brush them. Yeah, I've been brushing. I've got my brush with me. Don't panic. No, no, I brush them like to the letter.

Like I used a gel. Did you use a gel? No, I haven't used a gel. Because otherwise they don't stay on my face. I have got the Blink me. Don't panic. No, no, brush them like to the letter. Like, I used a gel. Did you use a gel? No, I haven't used a gel. Because otherwise they don't stay in place. I have got the Blink Brow Bar gel in my bag. But everyone was asking what we asked for. We went to Blink Brow Bar and we asked for a brow thread tint laminate.

Yeah. And sadly, we're now hooked. And I honestly don't think I will ever be able to go out with it ever again. Yeah. Oh, it's so tricky when you get hooked to all of these like beauty things.

Oh yeah, free or not. But like, I was thinking about it, girls. Like, I don't know if you're like sat there right now listening to us, you're on the tube. Like, look down at yourself.

Think about how expensive you are. Like, look at your nails. Look at your hair. Look at the makeup on your face. The makeup on your face the makeup on your face if you've got tan on you best believe Bondi Sands

that shit's expensive look at your shoes look at your new purchase look at your phone look at your bag like fuck me hun you're so expensive I love that for you

say the thing about the sunflower oh yeah so the sunflower what's her real name Chidera yeah

she was like talking on her pod, if you haven't listened, she talks about like quite controversial stuff and she has like quite strong opinions on things I'd say and especially the men she dates. And she was basically like,

I can't date a broke man because he literally can't afford the body spray that I'm wearing. It's the truth. It is the truth. But it's crazy because when I was like then thinking about it, like how much it costs each month, Because he literally can't afford the body spray that I'm wearing. It's the truth. It is the truth. But it's crazy because when I was like then thinking about it, like how much it costs each month to like... Just exist.

To exist in a way that makes you feel good. Like even if it's not for the male gaze. I was talking to this woman in that coffee shop I was in with my bloody mum. The whole of Stow on the Mould was there. It was brilliant. She'd been single for a number of years and she was like, it's so funny because if I look at myself now,

I'm like, my nails aren't done. I'm wearing a fleece that's covered in dog hair. Like, la, la, la, la. And that's like because she's not in a relationship anymore. But actually, like, it's so important

to do those little things that make you feel good, whether you're in a relationship or not. I don't do it for a relationship. I do it for myself. No, I know. I just think sometimes when you've got someone

like looking at you constantly, you're less likely to let yourself go, maybe. Like, not if you're actively think sometimes when you've got someone like looking at you constantly, you're less likely to let yourself go maybe. Like not if you're actively dating. Dating like forces you to do it. But I think, I don't think it's like a good or bad thing. I just think it's like interesting

that there probably are certain things that we do every month that are just like, actually that makes me feel good. And when I let that slip, I don't feel as good. This is what we were talking about last weekend, the two of us,

because... Just the two of us. Just the two of us. Because Pauly Pied has got the disease of loving to play golf. And I do call it a disease because it is catching. Yeah, it's like COVID.

And... That and paddle. What is wrong with men playing paddle? And divorce, according to Pauly B. Divorce. Catching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, catches... That and paddle. What is wrong with men playing paddle? And divorce, according to Paulie B. Divorce. Catching. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, catches, apparently.

Did you know that? Paul Brunson said divorce is like a cold. If you're... Go on. If you're in a friendship group where a couple is getting divorced... You're 50% more likely to have...

To get divorced. It is literally catching. So, let's say G had a friend who was getting divorced. Even though I'm one step removed, I've still now got a 25% increased chance of getting a divorce. Like literally like a catching disease. It's crazy.

And that is what golf is to 20-something-year-old men. But we were talking about this, and she said something really good, because I don't, like, to me, it's a waste of time. And I really am struggling at the moment, especially when the two of us, G, I, and and i are so time poor i find it madness that you would elect to spend that much time doing like something so boring it's a really long activity it's just crazy my dad used to drag me around a golf course and i literally would just be like kicking and

screaming like i don't want to do it and he like, this is the only sport that you can play anywhere in the world by yourself and make friends. I was like, I don't want to. I'm not a businessman in the 1960s. Idiot. Sorry. She's all wrong. Sorry.

And anyway, then G was like, the thing is, it's that you don't think it's important. But for him, at the end of a week on a Saturday, the one thing he's looking forward to, to relaxing, to spending time with his friends is golf. And it's the same don't think it's important, but for him, at the end of a week, on a Saturday, the one thing he's looking forward to, to relaxing, to spending time with his friends, is golf. And it's the same kind of thing. Like, what I deem important to spend money on, for example, my nails,

other people think it's total madness. Yeah. But it makes me feel good and it's important to me. And it's like... Well, it has become a big part of your identity, I'd say, your nails. I agree. But you could say that about like blonde hair,

anything. Like if it makes you feel good, even if it feels like frou-frou to other people. Frou-frou away. You know what I mean? Yeah. It's just, it's respecting. Other people's priorities.

Which when it comes to golf is hard, I have to say. How's that conversation gone recently? Listen, we had a conversation and I just said, listen, I understand that it is important to you and i understand that like also for raw when he was a teenager and like at uni like being the sporty one is was his identity and like when you work and you don't have time to do that i think maybe then maybe he had a bit of an identity crisis sure yeah so i said to him i understand all of that but i also just like and i understand

by the way i don't have a leg to stand on because I will cancel on him at the drop of a hat for work, for filming, like for everything else. I'm not asking you to not do it. I'm just asking you to be mindful of the amount of time that it takes and to maybe not do it every single Saturday afternoon because that is our one crossover window

or whatever it might be. And he was like, yeah, like I didn't think, anyway, it was good. It was positive be and he was like yeah like I didn't think anyway it was good it was positive and he was like yeah I will be more mindful anyway then the next weekend he played golf so that's good sorry that's good uh his handicap's gone down but I am about to break up going on a golf tour so uh yeah that's that really so that has gone well yeah golf clubs for Christmas really good um okay you do the intro baby you're much better than me uh Okay, welcome to Leave a Message. This is the podcast where we listen to your voice notes. We love to hear from the galleys.

And we just kind of get into them. We try and give you some advice. We try and give you some wisdom. We try and give you some lulls in our thoughts and opinions. They're not always good. So if you're looking for good stuff, go somewhere else. Well, if you're looking for like serious, like statistic-based stuff...

Go to Paul Brunson. You must go and find Paul Brunson because it won't be us. Or if you're looking for credibility, because I don't know how much credibility we've got. Almost none. I was watching Louis Theroux and Mia Khalifa and Louis Theroux had pages and pages of notes

and I thought we've got empty whiteboards. So sorry. Vogue and Joanne also, they have their laptops out no and as rob and josh and those are two duos that we really look rob and josh have notes yes it doesn't sound like it sorry boys you wouldn't fucking know it do they what little jokes written down is it cheating right listen they record on their laptops and also maybe it's fake notes like maybe it's gobbledygook you know when you just like type stuff like random stuff and just look like

you've prepared yeah we don't even bother with that well we're not claiming to be like you know a kind of fountain of knowledge thank you

fountain of knowledge yeah so anyway that's this podcast that you're listening to right now we love you thank you so much

for keeping us going with your voice notes and this week the galleys are called joy good i'm just feeling a bit joyous hi girlies love the podcast this is a little story and it's lesbian drama so i'm on holiday with friends about four weeks ago and i recently split up with my partner after four years. So they decided to go on Tinder, and they're just swiping right, just swiping and swiping. And then someone messages me, and they're like, I'd like to take you out for a drink.

Go out for this drink with this girl. Amazing. Really lovely. Really kind. Obviously went back to hers. Had a lot of fun. It was great, great sex. We have a sexy weekend, really great. Go to some really nice restaurants, have a lot of amazing sex, all good. Get to know each other a little bit more. But she starts to catch a few feelings. I just feel like there was a few things that kind of little red flags that come out. You may say they're major. She got six calls from her ex over the weekend and was extremely like clingy. Like when I was trying to walk across the road, like she'd like stop me and put her hand behind my back and like walk me across the road like I was some toddler.

my back and like walk me across the road like I was some toddler um and then would continuously grab my face and like be tell me how beautiful I am and how gorgeous I am and I mean like that's nice and all but like when it's like constant it's like oh okay but then when we went out for dinner she was like what kind of engagement ring would you want? Very random question for someone who's come and had a sexy weekend with. Then persists for me to get my phone out and says, oh, I think like you should show me what engagement rings you would want. And I'm like, well, I don't know. And she's like, well, look again.

Then gets her phone out and is like, would you want a Cartier? Obviously I would want a Cartier. But obviously I'm not going to say this to a girl that I've just gone for a weekend and slept with literally once before that and my flight has been cancelled um three times over two days and she's come and picked me up from the airport took me back to hers um looked after me starting to get like connected in that kind of. Then a few days later, she'd post a picture, because I haven't messaged her back quick enough, post a picture of her with the song that I said

was one of my favorite songs in the background, obviously to try and get my attention. Now she's saying that the communications changed and she doesn't know why and that we would work really well together and I just don't know how to kind of say to her that I just don't think me and you are gonna work how also gee if you do want to come to the dark side um don't think you do but if you did there's a little compliment for you me just bright red babe sorry i'm still waiting for my um gay awakening so i'll let you know you're still on the dark side on your own over there she's i don't i don't i've gone bright red you've got a very sexy voice so i could be swayed can i say something i have not been once hit on by a woman ever in my life it's an energy

thing you're very straight. She gets it three, four times a week. It's so, like, sorry, am I not? Neither do I, so.

Babe, you're very straight. I don't think you should be offended by that. It's not about being straight, babe. No, you look, that's not the point.

I think that you, like, I think that you can, I could hit on a gay man because I thought he was a nice man. Like, I thought he looked nice. No,

no, no, no. But you might not be attractive to like the qualities necessarily of a gay man. What, shallow bitch? Is that what you're saying? What, you're a shallow bitch?

No, no, no. We never said that. I just don't think you give off like open energy. I know, I know. Therefore the girls. I know. Whereas I'm desperate for a gay awakening.

I literally am praying to be Rebel Wilson because I know my life will be better and more fulfilled and the lesbians have better sex. So every night I'm manifesting like come on please just make me gay.

But it's not yet happened. So thanks babe. She does just really fancy boys. I just really fancy them to my detriment. Thrilled though for me and for you. Nearly single.

Really fun. I was just going to say there's a lot to unpack. To be honest there's not much to unpack. To be honest, there's not much to unpack. Al's going to tell you really straight what message to send.

Abort. Abort mission. Yeah, but what would you say? Because you've got, be soft. I'll sprinkle the softness. Go on, you go in hard and I'll give it a bit of

je ne sais quoi. I'm okay. For the little soft girls out there that need a little bit more loving. It also might be a send and block. I feel like something's changed and I'm not into it anymore. Soft police coming in.

Sorry, excuse me. I'm not into it anymore. Quite strong. That's the truth. My harder version, babe, before I did the internal edits, was you're an absolute fucking psycho bitch. Don't contact me again.

She just said, Joy Warner said she's a nice person. I didn't need with that. So I think I'm not into it anymore is actually relatively soft. I think you could say I didn't go into this looking for something serious

and I feel like that's where we're heading. So I think I'm going to need to step back. I don't even, babe. That will get you into trouble. Why? Because you'll be like, why didn't you tell me that at the beginning? Yeah, true. I don't want anything serious. I just want to be chilled. Why? Because she'll be like, why didn't you tell me that at the beginning? Yeah, true.

I don't want anything serious. I just want to be chilled. I'll be casual. But then you'll be like, you're not chilled. Here's a link to your Instagram post. Exhibit A of your lack of chill.

You're just going to... I don't, listen. You think you need to be more direct. Well, I also, sorry, this is a bitchy thing to say. You don't know her that well. You don't owe her

a deep explanation into the emotional workings of your emotional world of like your complete nut job you don't need to tell her that all you need to say is thanks so much goodbye basically i'm out we're done unfollow have a nice life we don't even clearly live in the same city or country like what you can definitely say i think we're looking for different things and i don't want to carry this on. And I'm not looking for a psycho. I was going to say, it's funny, isn't it? Like there's definitely a fine, fine line

between showcasing that you're into someone and like making them feel like affirmed in the fact that you're into them. Yeah. And being way too much that it turns them off. Because actually, if she was like more chilled, you probably would keep dating her and like might eventually like her.

You're really aligned on certain things. Like you have a physical attraction. Like it's not like she's just blanket crazy, but she's just got overexcited with you and like the prospect of you and her together. She's moved at 100 miles an hour and now she's put you off. And that is like,

you've got to keep that balance when you're dating when you first said about the red flags in the beginning i did the thing thing they were that red i thought fic you can fix that you can like you can say i'm not a toddler i can walk across the road by myself and you can say can you block your ex can you block your ex yeah can she not call you so much but like the instagram post i mean that i mean i'm a wacko and even I wouldn't stoop that low. Yeah, because you're like, follow,

unfollow, follow, unfollow. Do you know what I mean? I'm not like, I've done some wack shit to get people's attention. I wouldn't do that.

That is weird. On the wackometer, it's high. Yes, please. I feel like the whole walking someone across the street and touching the back,

the small of their back, or whatever. Oh no, you're so toxic, sorry. No, she loves chivalry. Wait, wait, wait. You'd like that if you liked the person. Agreed.

And I think this with loads of shit like that. No, but would it though? Because sometimes your buddy just rejects it before your mind knows. I've been on so many dates where they've touched me and I've been like, get off me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. With some people it feels good and comfortable

and like charming. And then with others it feels like, it feels good and comfortable and like charming. And then with others, it feels like pushy, a bit controlling and like weird. And I don't know what that is. Also, if you take it in isolation, like if that was the only thing, then maybe it's sexy. But because it's not in isolation, she's like a bit weird on other counts. Yes. Then it's like you're allergic to that person.

As you say, your body might know before your mind does. The only thing I would implore you to do is just make sure you do have the conversation however you do it because i just think there's like i don't think there's a conversation to be had there's a text to be sent it's not a conversation no fine you don't need to ask a question in it or expect to reply i don't i think no right to reply no right to reply but you can say don't feel the need to reply sorry I will never forget when I was 18 and my ex-boyfriend who was also called Rory

cheated on me and I went to my I went to my friend's house uh Pilu oh yeah sure and her mum is she's so funny

and she typed out this full he was such a dick and he had like been sending me these wacko messages being like i found the love of my life like in you or in the girl he shagged in the new girl oh no no he didn't even end up with the girl he shagged he shagged this girl then he then he started going out with

his best friend like honestly like it would be like me going you going out with raw like best best friend's girlfriend makes me feel sick and had texted me this long message being like, I found the love of my life in her. I'm so sorry to hurt you but I feel like you deserve to know. I don't need to know anything. And Pilou's mum

literally wrote him this email that was like, The email. Email. Do not reply. No right to reply. And it was like, you're a piece of shit.

You're an absolute dick. You're a psycho. And then at the end it was at the bottom. Do not reply. Because do not reply. You can definitely send a text

and then block. Aeroplane mode block. So you clearly don't live in the same place so like, happy days. Yeah. At least you had

a nice weekend babe and a good shack. So not easy to find. I know the lesbians get it better than we do but it's hard to find a good shack. Okay,

if I was tapping into my highest elevated self which doesn't hang around very often. Yeah, can you? Because you're being harsh and you actually have a really unique skill to be direct in a way that like is actually kind so

can you tap into that i would say something like that i feel like the energy has really shifted and it's not really sitting that well with me anymore and i don't know if you have got like i don't know if you've got a misconception of what i was looking for yeah and what this is considering was it's only been like, we've only seen each other three or four times. I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed, and, like, I just don't think I want to see you anymore. I'm going to step away. Yeah. In reality, I wouldn't say that. In reality,

she's probably just going, like, no reply. But you must message, because it's too... No, no, you must message for yourself as well, more than anything. Yeah, and just to know that, like, the door's closed, especially with someone that's a bit like... Lock that door firmly closed because she's obviously got some serious problems.

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Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave a Message. If you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think, girls need to hear this,

then get voice noting. Okay, do you have number two? Hi, Gallys. Absolutely love your pod, can I just say? I've been watching you, and I love you. So my friend has her boyfriend, and they've been together for, like, three, four years. And basically, this was a few months ago,

she was telling me how they were just together, and, like, having a chat nicely, and she was just talking to him about how she, like, doesn't like boys watching porn. Like, just in general general she just thinks it's quite like a gross like disgusting thing and it's quite um objectifying if that's a word um and then he just sort of was a bit like oh well I watch porn like he was like oh I use OnlyFans um admitting that to her and obviously she like got really annoyed and was angry at him and it made her feel like so

shit about herself because obviously you know that's really not a nice thing to hear so then he knew how upset she was about it and then a few months later like two months later she was talking to me again about her boyfriend and she was like oh I was at his house and it was on his laptop and he had a notes list of like girls names um and she was googling these girls and they were all just like Instagram models that post photos and like bikini pics some of them had like only fans accounts and things like that um and he had a list of these women in his notes up which I just think is disgusting like he literally has a girlfriend obviously you know why does he need all of that still that's just my thought process and obviously her thought process as well and then especially because he knew that she was upset about it before

just don't understand why he'd still do it but yeah I just thought I'd hear ops on it and anything you can add to that so yeah I love you love you said what I want to hear your ops opinions really good I say less say less too many words are said yeah too many syllables and opinions let's get some ops then. She's got many thoughts on this, babe. You lead, I'll follow. Okay, so I feel like it's quite off-brand of me to have this opinion.

But it's like, I've really come to terms with it recently. I accept it about myself. Oh, right, yeah. And I feel okay about it. I don't like the person I'm in a relationship with watching porn or paying for OnlyFans. I understand that we're all sexual beings and we all have urges. And the porn thing is difficult because it's not

that I think watching porn is cheating. I don't have that opinion at all. I struggle with porn in general about the objectification of like women, the porn industry, the standards in the porn industry, and also the desensitization to sex like that's my thing on porn so i feel quite strongly about like me watching porn i abstain from porn and haven't forever but do now so i would just want my partner to do that do you know what i mean only fans feels so pointed to me because you're actually paying a specific person that you've chosen and you want intimacy with them. That's why you pay for OnlyFans.

And I don't know where your outlet needs to go as a testosterone-fuelled man. And I understand that I potentially can't be your entire drinking well. I know you might need to go substance elsewhere. I understand. And I don't know how that sits with me. I don't have a partner at the moment, so I can't, like, really

think about a solution to those quite strong opinions. And I also wouldn't want it to be something that is, like, needs to be done in private. So I don't know what that looks like. But I don't think she's wrong for finding, like, the porn hurtful, or, like, the list of names like whack,

even though he's not technically cheating or doing anything wrong. I think OnlyFans is different to porn, Pornhub, let's say. Let's call it Pornhub. Let's call a spade a spade. Because you're right, OnlyFans is, I've gone out of my way

to find someone that I, one person. That I find attractive. And to pay for repeated content for one, that is different to like getting your recommended videos on Pornhub. Yeah. Algorithm-wise, whatever it is. So I don't disagree.

And I also think having a fucking notes app is absolute madness. Also, what have you done like ask the boys in the group chat also have you got so many that you just can't remember them like that is weird maybe it's like well they're all Instagram models aren't they I was thinking is it like he like pays for a different one a month and he needs to write them down so he doesn't forget so he gets a bit of variety spice of life you know You like porn. I don't like porn. I don't like, listen. Al bangs porn all the time. Can't get her off it.

Can't get enough. Most use that. I'm always late because I'm always watching porn. Do you know how much he watches porn? None. However, if I went away for a weekend

and I had subsequently found, I mean, not that I would know, and I subsequently found out some way, somehow, that he had watched a porn video. Yeah. I don't think it would like, first of all, it wouldn't shock me to my core.

No. I'd be like, yeah, of course. Yeah. Sometimes the imagination can't do everything for you. Yeah, well, it depends on the content as well. Some of it might shock you. No, but, okay. You never know.

Okay, if it's vanilla missionary, that's okay. If it's missionary doggy or cowgirl, I'm out. Imagine he's watching something really hardcore, you're like, whoa, I can't do that. But it wouldn't shock me. Yeah.

I wouldn't, I really, really wouldn't. I think this has happened in the past, especially when we were long distance. For a fact he was.

Yeah, and also, like, listen, I went in hard there and I don't often have hard opinions, but I do on this one.

But I do understand that it's like a quantity thing as well that makes it more worrying. If it's all the time and I'm lying next to you and then I'm going up to you. Or you're needing to like get hard with me. I just like, there's just something that I know

can become quite like toxic. It is a sliding scale. And if it's once in a blue moon, a couple of times a year, when you're feeling lonely and your partner's away or whatever it is. And you need a bit of stimulation. Like, you know, the imagination isn't doing it for you then fine i get it but

yeah there's a limit and there's a hard line of like not being able to do to have normal sex if without porn that's whack um and the thing about desensitization is really, really problematic because like, obviously I'm not dating, but I can only imagine how jarring it is for boys to just fucking assume that every sexual encounter is like the thing that they've watched with three million hits on Pornhub. Like, it's crazy. Also, I have this all the time,

like, because I'm having like, kind of like casual, like one night stands at the moment. I've noticed so much that some men will have sex with you because they want to have sex so they will have the sex they want to have whether that's for their yeah whether that's what they've been watching what they're dreaming of whatever they have that sex rarely on a one night stand does a man have sex with me like the sex

one night stand does a man have sex with me like the sex we're having in that moment like i don't know you so you fucking flipping me up and down doing somersaults and putting it in my ass is not actually what i like signed up for in this moment do you know what i mean yeah but like that's the sex you want to have so you're gonna have that sex and i just feel like that might sometimes be where that comes from potentially not all men yeah in a relationship it's a very very it's a firm line it's a weird line like if i found a notes app that is how would you feel about only fans no it's a no it's the thing when do you stop like what do you stop with the birth of our first daughter is that when you stop i don't know why there is such a hard line between only fans and porn. I know.

But for me it feels so like... Because also they have their favourite porn stars. Like you would put in your favourite porn girl's name. Same. True. And some boys pay for porn, so what's the difference? I have a question. Go on girl. So are both of your opinions on porn based on the ethics?

Mine are largely based on the ethics, yeah yeah what do you mean by that like is it is the reason why you don't rate porn or only fans because of the ethical element like because of the action of him actually watching it yeah probably a bit of both this is a thing if i had like a really like woke guy that was like oh my god i watched this fucking ethical porn i know the production company and it's like sexy homemade shit maybe i'd be like fuck i want to watch that that's what I was going to ask

so if you found what about if you found an ethical both of you found an ethical porn house is that what they're called yeah it is now

ethical porn hub sure I'd best go to an ethical porn house would you watch it during your relationship no I personally

I just think it's weird to have to watch it. You're supposed to be making love to your actual partner in real life without external, we did it for millions of years, guys. You know what I mean? But then we also,

millions of years, went to sex parties, had sex in front of people, watched other people have sex. Like, I think it can be used as a kink. Like, I think porn can be used as a kink with a partner. That's a very different thing. Like, you think it can be used as a kink. Like, I think porn can be used as a kink with a partner. That's a very different thing.

Like, you've both decided to find the ethical porn house. But only up to the point of we're turning it off and now it's just us. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like, this time it's not, but next time we don't need the porn. It's not every time porn. Like, it's not every night 69.

It's not rinse, repeat, porn hub. It's rinse, repeat, respect to your girlfriend. Okay, and if she doesn't like it, she doesn't like it. And maybe on occasion ethical porn hub. I think if your friend

doesn't like her boyfriend watching porn, she can have that conversation. Do you know what I mean? I didn't expect him to change his behaviour patterns. We're always pounding porn every night.

That's like asking him to not play golf. It is the same fucking thing. No, is it fuck? Change your behaviour. Okay, I won't go on my golf holiday that I've booked for a year. Okay, why's like asking him to not play golf. It is the same fucking thing. No, is it fuck? Change your behaviour. Okay, I won't go on my golf holiday that I've booked for a year. It's kind of the same thing.

Okay, why is it different? Because you think it's easier to just not watch porn. But for some boys, it might be. No, I don't think it's easier. I think there's something about porn or like especially OnlyFans that feels a tiny bit disrespectful to your...

I think it's disrespectful to go on a golf weekend. Oh, do we have number three? Joy number three, hit us. Hey, galleys. I just wanted to leave you a message. First of all, I want to say how proud I am of you guys and how far you've come in the last year and a half that I've been watching you silently.

Do I need to have a conversation with my partner about this or not? Because when it gets brought up to other people, they say I do, but it's going to be an awkward conversation and a lot so long story short I have a friend called John let's call him John um we've been friends for four years and it wasn't until last year that our group of friends said he's in love with you and at first I didn't think anything of it and brushed it off and then over the last year there's been like weird signs like he has made me a Spotify playlist with suggested songs in I can send a screenshot if you want um so you can see the type of songs that he's put in um and then he makes like comments about how he always gets what he wants and if I for example

I went to a festival where a girl took my phone and recorded a video on it and I showed them the video because it's funny and John made a comment that he would like to like follow them on Instagram and in the video the girl literally says I have a boyfriend and he made a comment very clearly like that's never stopped me before um and he's turned very pick me towards me like he when we're in a group situation he'll always make a joke and make sure that I've heard it and after being with friends he'll message me separately like does this person make you feel uncomfortable really randomly um but apparently he's taken our friends out and been like I'm in love with uh um I don't know how true it is I don't know if the

friends are just saying that to me I don't know why they would just say that to me um but when it gets brought up people are like oh have you told your partner who by the way I've been with for six years i have a mortgage and dogs with this person i'm married without the last name but it's just an awkward conversation to bring up so how do i go about it you're married without the last name i'm not even going to take the name no it's not nothing's going to change really i'll just have hopefully a big fat rock and hopefully a little bit of richer yeah Oh yeah. But I shan't be sharing our proceedings. You best get LNG limited in the pre-nub.

Lockdown, yeah, don't worry. Sorry, me and Al were just singing songs that we think could be really good on that playlist. What's my playlist? I went for Sex Bomb, Sex Bomb. I went for Romeo, take me somewhere we could be alone. What about this one? Who's that girl?

Is that one how about temperature oh temperature by sean paul what's this one i wanna fuck you fuck you this love has taken its whole army good um okay this is my gut reaction. Sorry, what the hell is wrong with people? Like, John's shooting a shot a few too many times. Get the message, John. Six years married without the name. I don't want you.

Like, sorry, you're my friend. Maybe John listened to the last episode. What did we say? About shooting the shot. Yeah, John's been listening. Listen, John. Oh, John, sorry,, John's been listening. Listen, John. Oh, John, sorry. We gave you bad advice.

Listen, John, we said once, babe. And the Spotify playlist didn't work. I don't know what will. And we didn't say make a Spotify. I mean, that is too far. Can I tell you my gut response? And then we can like dive in to a bit deeper. My gut response is if you can handle it,

handle it without telling your partner. If it becomes too much and it overwhelms you, look for a helping hand. Gut responses. If you can handle it, handle it without telling your partner. If it becomes too much and it overwhelms you, look for a helping hand. Because actually, and we've said this before, sometimes, hashtag not all men, require another man to look at them and say, can you back off?

Sometimes your word isn't heard and they need, for whatever reason, go back to the jungle or wherever they are and they need to pound on each other's chests when they're like animals. It's just they receive that better sometimes

than they receive your polite like, oh John, you're being a bit much. I had this, do you not remember? I do remember. That boy,

this is such weird. Did you deal with it or did Raw? I feel like Raw said something. I think Raw said something. Come on, sexy. But I don't know what was said. I was not privy to that conversation.

No, and you shouldn't be. You don't need to be there. And I didn't even really... Like, I didn't ask because I just thought, like, it's obviously been dealt with and it's gone away. Sorry, that was really sexy.

So basically, I mean, babe, I don't think you punched him in the face. No, but, like, saying, like, back off. I know I don't like possessive, like, behaviour, but a little bit of it is sexy. Like sprinkle a bit on. Yeah. A protector.

A protector. But also like in a way that, okay, so basically what happened was, Oh, I'm so bad at being highly anonymous. Okay, my friend Archie has a best friend called, I don't know, oh, I can't think of it, Charlie.

Archie and Charlie, okay? Charlie's always had a thing. Always charlie's always had a thing always always always had a thing for me and there was one occasion actually there were two occasions archie had a birthday two birthday like party two years in a row and on both occasions charlie made like open moves at me one of them i was sat on a table with charlie on my right raw and i were basically on opposite tables or different tables and i was sat with charlie on my right. Ro and I were basically on opposite tables, different tables. And I was sat with Charlie on my right.

And Charlie ordered this, like, he ordered a bottle of, like, really expensive champagne just for the two of us. And, like, I fucking hate champagne. Shooting your miss, honey. And basically, so he tried to, like, charm me and, like, you know, be all wanky swanky.

Impress you. And it didn't impress me. And the bottle came came and I hate champagne it tastes like piss yeah and I said I don't he's such a dick as well because he's like so like

showy offy with his money and the bottle came and he Charlie was like can you bring the vintage and I was like don't bother I hate champagne

and anyway this went on and on and on and there were and then he started texting me and there's a picture where I was do you know that picture we were downstairs in the mirror and he like put his hand on my bum and then after that he texted me being like oh like let's grab lunch and i naively thought we can just be friends because i do have a best friend that is as a boy i just thought oh well

that's fine me and this boy can have this same kind of relationship anyway obviously it got too far oh sorry obviously big part of the story that i've missed is that rory's best mate dan said to charlie can you just like back off that's my best friend's girlfriend and charlie was like um listen basically that there's no goal without goalie like i can't you can't like you can't stop me from doing it she's an until she says no she's fair game i actually think those were kind of those oh my god fair game is so minging disgusting then then there was that picture then he asked me for lunch then raw stepped in and yes raw big daddy come on yeah baby i don't know what he said but he would have said something like well it worked highly inappropriate stop that now it's so hard isn't it because it does feel a bit like oh dad can you

talk to this bully at the playground i know i know and it's like sad that like not sad but i assume that even you like putting a no in place might not have been heard like rules was and that's annoying but i do think there might get a stage where you can no longer, like, bat the advances and it might actually sound better and be more effective. Coming from your partner. He sent me these selfies of us. Oh, yeah.

I feel enough people were getting angry with my fondness of you, so not going to put these in the group, but it's always a blast when you're involved. Flirt. Big, fat flirt. And then I sent him the picture of his hand on my bum. He said, ha-ha, caught red-handed. Like, what?

Babe, did you not feel his hand on your ass? Yeah, I did. I was obviously absolutely off my head. Then he sent me a picture of his sunglasses, and I didn't reply. It's so bad because it's like the whole line, like just because there's a goalie doesn't mean you can't score. Like I genuinely had that situation

where I was in a relationship and someone fully said that to me because we'd like got like, I was with a boy at the time and my like ex-ex was at this party and I, he wasn't my ex at the time obviously he was just a guy that i didn't know and he like was like being really flirty with me and he then sent me that text i was in a really unhappy relationship and i kind of needed an excuse to

leave it and like that bit of attention was my like get out of jail free card so i feel like even if someone's in a relationship i don't condone it but i get you like shooting the shot at least once because stranger things have happened. People have left relationships. Once is enough. Once is fine. If he continues and you've said really clearly it's making me feel uncomfortable

that you're kind of singling me out and you're being a bit pick me. Also, to verbalise she's fair game. Like, could you not have just kept that in your head? Sorry, fair game is wild. Also, to Rory's best friend, like, how stupid do you have to be?

Yeah. Are you for real? People are deluded best friend, like, how stupid do you have to be? Yeah. Are you for real? People are deluded and people, like, get carried away and, like, you know, some people aren't used to not getting what they want and that's difficult for them to get their head around. Basically, babe, to answer your question, if I could've, I didn't actually really ever get the chance to deal with it because I think

then just Rory, like, knew and we were talking about it and then he just did something about it. If I had had the chance, and also Rory was at the dinner like he couldn't it was obvious how did you reply to those texts just like nice haha yeah nothing didn't give him anything but that wasn't enough i didn't say like that could have been your opportunity in hindsight to be like that's highly inappropriate and it was and i agree with everyone else's perception of your fondness of me so should we leave it there agree yeah but. Yeah. But if I could have done that and turned back the clock,

I would do it. And just like kind of, for the sake of rule, because I don't, it's not nice. It's really, really not a nice feeling to feel like. So it's a weird conversation to have to have. Yeah.

So that's what I would recommend doing that. Trying to deal with it head on. And if you can't, then yeah, you might need to tell your partner. Round up. Round up. Okay. Joy number one oh i want to pick up on something by the way go on quick she said i'm an older listener i'm 30 babe i'd like to can we get that cut from the record because that is not

right 30 is not an older listener babe i'm a year away from it year and three months oh she's getting really prangy about her first year. It's going to be good. I know, but I don't think it's an older listener. Yeah, no, we must reframe our narrative, guys. We're young. We're so young. We're young and youthful.

The fountain of youth has blessed us. You must have bought mission. You must say it with your chest. Try and be soft. With your chest, but kindly. Say less. Say less. Be clear, concise, and I'll let you know when i have my gay awakening um joy number two boys watching porn oh controversial um there's not really much more to also i do think it's all

very individual specific yeah it's very hypothetical it's quantity based you can't like make a general rule actually i really do think that because there might be some girls that have absolutely no issue with their boys watching porn five times a week but this is a thing you have issue so i think you can articulate that and i think you can ask him what his driver is and how he could do it in a way if he finds it important if it is like his golf how he could do it in a way that you find more respectful. Yeah. That might not be keeping a log of girls' names on OnlyFans. Do you know what I mean? And then, joy number three, you've got to deal with this. And you've got to deal with it head on and, like, be more direct than I was.

Yeah, you've got to be, like, blunt. Yeah. Sadly. And he'll be able to take it. Yeah. And if he then continues, then you've got to get the heavyweight in, sadly. Yes, then run to dad. Daddy.

Oh, we're not having question of the week this week. No question of the week. No time for question of the week this week, guys. Thank you all so much for your voice notes. We love hearing from you.

Please keep them coming. If you heard a voice note and you were like, I've got a better one than that, then please, please, please send it in. Don't just think about it. Actually, do it.

Please keep them short. Oh, Rohana's getting knackered. Right, come on. Give us your spiel. Come on. Do another roundup of what a voice note should be like. We had Rohana's getting knackered. Right, come on. Give us your spiel. Come on. Do another roundup of what a voice note should be like. We had a six minute

and 22 second one. It's too long. It's too long. I did listen to the whole thing and then I thought, no one else is going to want to listen to this because it's so long.

She's not wrong. Okay, so we've like, max three minutes is ideal. Three minutes is like... Two thirty. Three minutes thirty. I'll push it to a four minute if it's if

it's golden yeah yeah yeah um also feel free to write write a script say less keep to the key bullet points keep telling us how much you love us at the beginning i enjoy those intros make sure you say as joy number three did i just wanted to leave you a message great guys there's great pr you're doing yes yes thank you. Thank you so much for listening. Please tune in next week. We're here every Wednesday. We love you so much. Please subscribe.

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