Leave A Message with Ally & G - 37 - We Share A Lot But Not A Wet Thing
Episode Date: November 13, 2024There's a traitor in the midst... a serial offender who can't be trusted. But, do you confront them or keep your enemies nearby? No, this isn't an episode of a hit TV game show... it's Leave A Message...! On this weeks episode, Ally & G don their monocle and flat cap and help a Gally who doesn't know how to deal with the betrayal that is a friendship traitor. Plus, what do you do if you find yourself stuck in the middle of someone else's love triangle?! You've got to get it sorted before things get spooky... From the boundaries of girl code to friends dating an ex, Ally & G are once again showing that when there's something strange in your neighbour, you've got to leave a message. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
The faster money and data move, the further your business can go to a seamless digital future for Canadians.
Let's go faster forward together. In Life, Interact. Sorry everyone, we've been told off again.
Honestly, I spent my life being told off.
I left a proper corporate job to never be told off again.
And now I'm here, a creative trying to live my life and I'm being told off constantly apparently we don't tag enough brands in our content so I'm
just tagging Dash because we always have a Dash when we record.
Can I say I don't think it was a telling off?
Okay yeah.
I think it was a...
I was doing it a bit for a bit.
Oh sure sorry no.
Take my bit away.
Cut that.
Go on tell me I wasn't told off.
Give me two seconds everyone really I will be with you.
Sorry, Rich.
At Dash.
Oh, yeah. No, keep that in.
At Dash.
Dash, we'd love to get some monetary repayment, actually, is what we'd love.
Yeah, for all the times that we've spent our hard-earned cash.
Buying your delicious products.
And I don't think you realize just how many...
I... How many... Dash, how many...
Have I drank in my lifetime? No, a month do you think that we buy through the business?
Oh, through the beers?
Oh, I would say.
I genuinely say.
Let's say on average it's probably four a day.
I'd say it's genuinely 40 plus a month.
Easy, I'd say more.
Easily.
I'd go for 60.
Easily.
We'll let you know.
I'll look at the analytics.
Because everyone forgets there's two of us.
I don't think anyone forgets that.
No one forgets. Yeah, we share a I don't think anyone forgets that. No one forgets.
Yeah, we share a lot, but we don't share Dash.
We don't share a wet thing.
We order a wet thing, we order a wet thing.
Well, also, sometimes she'll want one and then I'll just get jealous
and I'll only have it out of pure jealousy.
No, but I have that with coffee.
Because you...
Wake up later, I start later.
Exactly.
So by the time you're on number one or two,
I'm coming to three or four.
Yeah.
And I don't need it.
Which cause I know.
But I'm having it.
Yeah.
Because Ali Maxx having it.
She's like Regina George, just must do what she does.
I must say, sorry, because we're talking about because I've just eaten a little kind bar.
The other night, I went to this, maybe it was your drinks.
I got home.
Yeah.
And I realized I had spinach in my tooth.
No!
The entire...
No, can't have been me.
Must have been men's.
I was licking your teeth that night, guys.
I was really white girl wasted.
I must have not been with you because I would have texted you and said you were a fucking
cat.
That must have been on Saturday night when you got home.
I said to Raw, I actually can't.
That is so unfair and mean that people think that I just... I'm happy to walk around with spinach in my teeth all the time.
Can I say something really bad?
Yeah.
Yesterday when we were filming with that person.
She had something in there.
In her hair.
I saw it!
He didn't say anything either!
She had a bit of waffer in her hair.
Waffer, I saw it!
And I thought, well I'll be able to get that in post.
I don't know what her editing skills are like.
No, no, she'll have waffer in her hair for ten minutes.
That's so bad, we gave her waffer and then she was eating it
and it dropped in her hair.
That is so funny.
I didn't want to stop her mid-flow.
I thought Al won't have seen it because she's craning her hair.
I saw it.
Couldn't miss it.
You missed the waffer.
I did think, would you not feel it?
Well, eventually it did drop off and I thought, thank God.
It was also embarrassing.
It's different with people you know.
It's really hard to say. With was also embarrassing. It's different with people you know, because I'd be like...
It's really hard to say.
With a total stranger.
In your teeth.
Imagine, should I twain get in the back of the car
and she's got waffer in her hair?
That is management space.
Like, someone else should look after her for that.
That's not our job.
If she's eating in our car, I don't know,
jury's out, is it our job to say?
Yeah, to be fair, because it happened during interviewing.
Yeah, I agree.
Okay, I really need to find a line, like a safe line.
It's so easy. Just do, just be normal.
I'm so un-normal in those situations.
It's also not even.
Be normal. Just say, oh, babe, you just got a bit of waffer over, babe.
I would.
So can we just stop? Hold that thought.
You just want to get that waffer out of your hair.
If I was in like a pub and someone I didn't know was that person,
I wouldn't say anything. You wouldn't say you've got spinach in your teeth. I don't know was that person, I wouldn't say anything.
You wouldn't say you've got spinach in your teeth.
I don't think I would because I wouldn't want that person.
In that situation, the filming, yeah, definitely, I think we should say something.
I didn't say it because I was frozen with fear.
And I'd be so, I would feel so bad if she then got embarrassed
because I have a tendency to deliver things in an unkind way.
Imagine her watching it back there, she's going to hate us.
She's going to be like, I just got waffer in my hair and you didn't say anything. You witch.
She's a pop star. Oh, so if I have something in my teeth or something in my hair or on my top,
you're not going to tell me. You, I would tell you because I know you. Would you? Yeah, I'd say,
babe. I can't even see you from back here. I'm an on factor. No, no, if she, if she,
it runs. You're like the voice of God, I just hear you.
If you had spinach in your teeth, I would say, babe.
Would you? Why are you doing that face?
No, I would just say, babe.
I have spinach for lunch.
That's so bitchy.
Do you have spinach for lunch?
Babe, what's spinach in your teeth?
I would say something like, babe, just go like that.
Yeah, you do that with my bogeys. I get loads of bogeys. I don't know what's wrong with me. That's probably
a medical thing. What is it called? Premeditated? What is it called? That little? What's it
called? That little piece of skin? Periorodermatitis. That's my... I've got my periorodermatitis.
I think sometimes maybe the bogeys cling onto the periorodermatitis. What a sad, sad reality
that is. That your periorodermatitis gives you bogeys that they cling onto.
That is horrible.
I have it in my teeth.
I know I have teeth that cling onto food.
Ror has it with his breath.
Sometimes he has that breath that like he could have...
That feels unwell?
No, but like he could have eaten garlic last night and I can still smell it three, three brushes later.
I had that on a date the other day.
With him?
Yeah.
It's so... Not with Ror. I that on a date the other day. With him? Yeah. It's so on...
Not with Rory.
I was on a date with someone else.
Oh, really?
Guys, on Friday night, we were talking about this...
Oh, would you not have just snogged him properly?
I tried. He kept turning away from me.
I kept trying to snog Rory.
He wasn't pissed enough.
I just loved him so much and he's so unaffectionate with me on the day to day, obviously.
He won't even say he loves me when I know he does.
So because we were drunk and I was just so in love with him, I just kept kissing him
like a mum.
I was kissing him like a mum on the cheek.
Like a big hard kiss.
But I was thinking about it because I was watching Married at First Sight and they were
doing this salsa lesson and they'd mixed the couples up.
So it was like different boys with different girls of the couple.
Anyway, one of the guys was doing a salsa dance with one of the other
women and she like ran at him and jumped and like jumped, wrapped her legs around him.
Then he like dropped her down, brought her back up. It was quite intimate.
It was sexy.
Yeah, exactly. But the wife, Polly, there's Polly and Holly in this series, I get confused,
but I think it was Polly.
Polly the blonde one?
No, she's the ginger one. Ginger one, I know. Yeah. Polly and Holly in this series, I get confused, but I think it was Polly. Is she the blonde one? No, she's the ginger one.
Ginger one, I know.
Her husband is a quack.
Polly and Adam, not anymore.
He's really done full circle moment.
We give it to Adam.
I don't buy it.
I mean, he gave her a bare min, but he did eventually give the bare min, so that was good.
And they're quite good together now.
Anyway, she said to him when I first saw that I was going to absolutely kick off, but then
I saw it was Lacey and it was fine, because she knows Lacey and she's friends with Lacey.
I was like, how do you explain to men that like, hashtag not all men,
but like, I don't know that they know the difference between like,
okay, G can like snog you on the face,
but if you do that with anyone else, I will like chop your dick off.
Yes.
Do you know what I mean?
Yes.
And even you've got certain friends, haven't you?
Like, I've got one friend that if my boyfriend so much as looked in her direction, I'd be like no, I'm not having it.
Because of the history.
Because of the history.
Oh, we can all gauge you, that is.
Spoiler is me!
Imagine.
Imagine, but yeah, isn't that funny how some behavior is allowed with your friends like,
you know, touching.
Like I fully shagged paws on the lips.
Sorry, snogged, sorry, sorry, snogged pods on the lips in that picture that you write
Is that you and pods on my wall?
And like no probs. That took me so long. No questions asked.
Got it. Yeah, no questions asked.
I don't think it's about you. I just think Raw's like a, he's so like weird like he's
No, but Raw can't like let do affection with, sometimes even me in public. He doesn't love it
When you went to the loo, we were snogging on the dance floor.
Stop! I would have done anything to see that.
I've never seen them snog, not once.
They don't snog.
Oh my... Because I think it's really uncomfortable.
I don't like to be around couples like that.
I find it jarring. Like, what are you going to see?
I love PDA.
I hate no-bay because we're around each other all...
It'd be annoying.
No, no, no, I love it. Okay, but it's because we're like... Next time I'm with you, I want you to just snog no babe. I love it. Because you're way around each other all, it'd be annoying. No, no, no.
I love it.
Okay, but it's because we're like-
Next time I'm with you, I want you to just snog him and see what he does.
It was so funny because all of a sudden we were just like, there was no one near us and
then we were just snogging and I was like-
That is really good.
I feel like I'm 21.
It's so cute.
Sexy.
But like, he wouldn't even do that in front of you because like, he's like a bit like
gentlemanly in that respect.
Yeah, he's very respectful.
Yeah.
And I appreciate that. I did want him to lips me, but he wouldn't.
Rihanna, it was us.
It was him.
So obviously, at the pub, there were loads of us.
But then for some way, somehow, I ended up that it was Raw
and seven or eight girls,
and we were all dancing to Temperature by Sean Paul.
Oh my God, and he was finding it so funny.
Like, I literally...
And then there's this video of us going absolutely bonkers.
To gasoline.
Yeah.
And Roar is literally just watching us like...
I saw that on your story.
He literally can't cope.
He looks confused.
He looks confused.
Like our bodyguard.
As he should be.
Yeah.
It was confusing, Rohana, the moves we were doing.
You look like you had so much fun.
It was fun.
It was fun, but I was really, really drunk.
Should we intro the pod?
Yes, let's.
Why don't we call the galleys...
Raw.
Oh, Raw, your time's come, hon.
I think it's come. I think it's his time because everyone at my birthday,
like no one's like, none of my extra curricular friends have met Raw yet,
because why would they? Where are they going to cross over?
MVP. Everyone literally was like, Raw was the guest of the night.
Raw was the person of the night. Raw, Raw, Raw.
I never heard the end of it.
You didn't even get a look in.
Oh.
But Roar.
That actually doesn't surprise me.
It's too, I'm too obvious a pick for MVP.
One person said to me,
Al was on great form.
Who is it?
Margot, because you apologized to her about being a bitch.
And I said to her,
Do you remember guys,
you were listening on the pod when we said,
that's who Al was in the cab with.
Oh, I was a cow in the car.
And was a cow in the car,
because at my birthday last year,
when she nearly didn't get the invite this year,
she was on such bad form, particularly with my friend Marv,
and she went up to Marv and she said,
I'm so sorry for being such a cow last year.
And Marv just went,
oh, babe, it happens to the best of us.
We were like, oh.
And I was like, babe, it's not a you problem,
it's really a me problem.
I'm a cow more often than I should be.
Well, you were on great form.
Great.
Funny out of 10.
Not as good as rule, though, so there shall be called rule this week. Would you like on great form. Great. Not as good as Raw though,
so they shall be called Raw this week. Would you like to intro the pod? Welcome to Leave a Message,
this is the podcast for the Gallies by the Gallies. Thank you for all your voice notes,
we love them, we love listening to them, we love laughing at them, we love talking about them.
And this week the gallies are called Raw, let's hit them up, rack it up baby.
Let's hit them up. Rack it up, baby.
This isn't a story or anything, but I was just wondering if you guys have any advice.
I've moved to college and obviously I've left all my friends and they're still living at
home and my friendship group is still there all at home, but I've left and I don't come
home every week and it feels like they're all still besties.
And I miss out on loads of the gossip and the events
and the stories.
And they say things and I'm like,
I have no idea what's going on
because I'm obviously not at home
and not out every weekend in my town.
So I'm wondering if you guys just have any
bits of advice for that?
I've had this.
I think everyone has this.
Like, when you go to uni especially, it's just like a product of circumstance.
When you go to uni, yeah, I definitely had it at uni, but it felt less intense at uni because lots of other people had also gone to uni.
Do you know what I mean? So like you're kind of expecting your friendships to become a little bit more distant. Like I was in London, Holes was in Leeds,
like that's not easy. Marv was in Southampton, like we were all spread out, Em went to Loughborough,
everyone was all over the place. But I had it a bit because in between like going to
like, having a year out and going to uni, I lived in Cheltenham for a year. And I got
really close with the Cheltenham lot and we would like go out every weekend and like we'd always be at the races
or like we were all together all the time. I then moved to London and after uni they kind of all
moved back so then everyone was at home and they would do stuff all the time and I would be so out
the loop and this might not be the answer you want to hear, but I did have to like expect less of those relationships.
I was out the loop and I wasn't always invited and I couldn't get upset every time I wasn't invited
because I wasn't going to travel back from London every time.
So then the more you say no because you have to because you're not there,
the more like you become less of a part of that group and it becomes more of a like Christmas drinks and a big catch up, like you're still friends
but you're not in so much.
I think that I've just written don't try.
Don't try.
As in like don't try.
Fucking give up mate.
I'm bummer.
Yeah no I know what you mean.
That's not really worth it.
No, what I mean by don't try is,
don't try to make it how it once was.
Don't pretend, be truthful with yourself.
I'm going to be honest with you.
It would be really rare for you to get that back.
The reality of your life is you moved away
to do whatever you're doing now.
I don't know if you're, does she say college or what?
She says she was at college.
Yeah.
You moved away to like explore that and pursue new opportunities and adventures, obviously
as you should. And, but you can't expect to have your cake and eat it, I guess. And you
can't expect to go away and also have the sanctity and the safety of being in the know
of the day to day with the, with the girls at home. That's the harsh reality of it.
What you can do is, once you've accepted that, try and forge,
like, what is my role in this group now?
Am I the one that comes back with all the fun new stories?
And I won't get every joke that they're going to say, and that's okay.
But maybe I'll have a new joke about my newfound life at college.
What's the difference?
And how can you lean into that
rather than trying to like lean into the old?
Yeah, and what are the things like you can be at?
Like, for example, me and my like friends from sixth form, there's four of us.
No matter where we are, we will always do like a secret Santa.
And obviously, we will try and see more of each other in the year,
but life's really busy.
So if we can't, you best believe at Christmas,
we will all be there on a date at the same time.
Do you know what I mean?
And it's like, what of that can you do
that makes you still feel like, as you say,
a part of the group, just in a different way?
You're going to face this all your life as well.
Happens all the time.
I just want to say, like, this is not a unique
to college situation.
Like, this happens in, you know,
it's not even always like geographical.
It just sometimes happens by circumstance that,
especially in your mid to late 20s,
we talk about this all the time about like friendships changing
and like groups changing.
It might not be that someone moves away.
It might just be that one person gets like a job
that requires them to work 18 hours a day.
So they can't be there all the time.
Well, someone starts going to like mom and baby classes and you don't get the joke.
And that's fine.
You're not in that group and that's okay.
It is really hard thing to accept, but it is something that you will feel relieved once
you have accepted it.
I think maybe you need to like reframe.
I had this basically because all of my, like I'm actually not exaggerating, every single
one of my friends from school went to Oxford.
Like no joke and I was the, I didn't get in and I went to Bristol.
And no, it was really sad.
It was really, really sad.
You wouldn't have suited Oxford.
Well, also, like, it's led me here and like everything happens for a reason.
You wouldn't be here if you went to Oxford.
Definitely wouldn't be here.
Fucking hell wouldn't be here.
Can you imagine?
No.
The professors would be spitting on my grave.
Really disappointed in you.
But I always had that where like I would go and see them all.
And immediately I already felt like the outsider
because I'm not at uni with them.
I don't have a bike.
Do you know what I mean?
And so rather than wallowing in that
and being like, oh, I'm such an outsider,
I made the conscious effort to be the outsider.
Yes, the shiny new thing that comes home every now and again.
Oh my god, I'm so fun.
And let's go out and show me all the fun things
that you guys are doing and tell me all, like, lean into that. Yeah every now and again. Oh my god, I'm so fun and let's go out and show me all the fun things that you guys are doing
and tell me, like, lean into that.
Yeah, you've got to lean into still loving them
because then you are curious about what they've been doing
rather than feeling like jealous and left out.
But don't expect to know the jokes and don't expect to know the coffee shops that they like
and they're off coffee order because it might change last, like, week to week, you know?
Like, don't expect to know that.
Yeah.
Would be my advice.
Really good. description. Now this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics. But if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice
noting.
Okay, let's have voice note number two.
Okay, so I would just like to say I love the podcast. Love you guys. Literally amazing.
I watch you guys almost every single night. I love that. So I've got this situation where
I had a boyfriend, we're going to gonna call him Josh and I had this other friend
We're gonna call her Megan. We're all in the same friendship group me and Megan on
Best friend close but we are close like we will talk one-to-ones. We will go out but in a group
I wouldn't personally go out with her just one-on-one. You know what I mean? It's that kind of a friendship group Josh
he was quite a significant boyfriend because he was the guy that I lost my opportunity
to. And we were dating, I'm going to say for a year, I think it was around that, for a
full year. And I broke up with him, just lost feelings, it's whatever. I'm not even lying when I say it was maybe two weeks later when I found out from one of my friends
whispering to Megan saying, Oh, didn't you get with Josh? And I was sat there, they thought
I didn't even hear because I was on another table. And I asked one of my friends and she
told me that two weeks after me and my ex broke
up, he slept at her house and they shat out.
And they've been continuing to have casual sex.
Literally, I'm not even joking every single week.
And I see this girl because she is in my friendship group every single day because we go to the
same sex form.
So I'm just wondering like what the actual fuck,
and she hasn't brought it up with me at all.
It's so awkward because I don't think she knows that I know.
There's this other situation with my other friend,
let's call her Jess.
She was legit dating this guy seven days,
kissed him once, a peck.
And Megan asked permission to start seeing this guy,
but she can't ask me permission to start shagging my ex. I don't know how they're hiding it
so well, but I know that it's true because I've got his location. He's such an idiot,
didn't even turn it off. But I've got his location and he's at home almost every single
day. So anyways, yeah, I don't know whether I should just leave it or say something.
Right.
Lots to unpack here.
Lots to say.
I'm just going to start with the top line.
Ideally, that's where we would start.
I've got a big question that we could come to maybe later of how close is too close?
For the girl code to stretch.
Yeah.
I've written that.
How far does it go?
Because there is, I believe, and peeps might not like this,
I believe there is a limit to the girl code.
I agree.
I think it has a radius.
I totally...
It's a bit like on Right Move.
Babe!
When you say one mile radius, you can stretch outside because listen,
the dating pool can become small.
I couldn't agree more.
Even when you're in London.
And if love or lust carries you, there is some six degrees of separation that I believe is allowed.
I don't know how many that is. Megan might be a little bit inside the radius.
It depends how close. She said they wouldn't go on a night out together.
But they are in the same friendship group.
Friendship group, depends how big they can be. They can be 50 people in a friendship group.
They're in sixth form. They're in sixth form. It's not going to be 50. It's going to be max 20, isn't it?
I would say at that age she's in the side, the radius. I think she's inside the radius. I think it's too close to her.
However, if she was our age, I would say she's not in the radius, which is interesting.
We must think of an example. This is how I like to do it because you can only imagine it with people.
I've got it. I've had this. Okay, but take Raw. Yeah. You break up.
I know it's a bit different.
They were only together a year.
You live together and probably will, you know, mother his children.
But anyway, you break up.
Oh, that's not really much different, to be honest.
It's all same. It's all love.
Yes, it's all same.
I think I loved harder.
Oh, yeah.
When I was losing my virginity than I do now.
See, Raw and I snog him once a year. Fuck it.
It's not what the history books wrote about, is it, for love?
Yeah, so we break our draw.
Obviously it goes without saying you're off bounds.
No, I'm not, Megan. That's fine.
We're going on like that.
We're exactly, you know.
I would say it's...
What friendship group would you all be in?
It's...
I'll say her name.
No, I think that she would be off limits.
Off limits.
She's too close.
But she's in the friendship group.
She's too close for comfort.
Do you go out with her alone?
Possibly, yeah.
Okay.
Give me another one.
Not out on him.
Rack him up.
Give me another friend.
Okay.
You know the friend that I know mutually?
Oh, yes.
She's far enough. But she's technically in the same group of girls.
She's not in my group.
I know of her.
She's actually my friend.
Yeah, so the step inside,
I think anyone in the group that has witnessed you
together as a couple.
She's second degree separation
because I know her secondhand from someone else.
I think it's if they know you as a couple.
That's where I struggle.
You've seen me on a dance floor lip-syncing my boyfriend,
and you're then going to be with him.
You know us. You know us together.
The only thing I will say, not in Megan's defense,
but I do think he owes it to you, not her.
More so, he's the one that owes it to you to not shag.
It doesn't matter.
No, but from his perspective, if the shoe was on the other foot
and Raw broke up with me and I started shagging...
He shagged Raw.
Yeah, Raw was the first on the hit list.
No, if I started...
Raw's like Raw's brother basically, so that is off limits.
That would be a step too far.
That's probably the only one that's safe. I'm joking. All of you. Don't fancy any of you disgusting freaks.
Okay, I'm trying to think. If Ror broke up with me and I started shagging, there will be someone,
like he has a friend who he knows through a friend.
There is one, yeah. He's on my bench. I thought about it before.
Do you know the one he was saying, the ex England rugby player?
Yeah.
He kind of knows him second degree.
But you would shag him just to get back at Royal.
But I'm saying if I did, I don't think it's for me to say.
You think you'd be within your right.
I do, and I don't think it's for me to say.
You think your friends, he's my ex, I don't know him.
Well, like, also, if it's just a shag and we're not together, do I really have to tell you anyway?
It's my life.
Listen, it's sticky. This is a free're not together, do I really have to tell you anyway? It's my life. It's, listen, it's sticky.
This is a free country.
Sorry, we live in a free country.
We live in a democracy.
You should be able to shag who you want.
I mean, outside of-
We're in reason.
Outside of the radius.
Okay, yeah, well the radius then is-
If it was in the radius, of course you have to say.
That's my point.
If it's within the radius,
no doubt you have to have a conversation.
And agree, the ex has to say it.
But if it's outside the radius, it's a free for all.
Love is love, baby.
I know.
And actually, sometimes it might be worth it.
This is the problem.
If it's just for a shag.
At this age it's tricky because babe, I get it.
I get that you hate Megan and actually I would confront her because I'd be like, you're not
getting away with it anymore.
I did that.
Oh, listen.
I've told this story about Polly Minton.
I've had this with Pee Pee as well.
Palace Port. And I literally, I said to them,
I was like, I know, Holly's told me,
because she's a fucking ride or die,
and none of you other bitches are,
because you all knew about it.
I'm not having it be a secret.
I just want you to know I know.
Go forth and multiply.
I don't care what you do.
No.
But I'm not having me look like a mug,
because, oh, it's a secret and G can't find out.
Yeah, that's different now.
But yes, at that age, I think...
Go for it, babe. Get them.
You go into that common room and you say,
Megan, you bitch!
Shagging my ex and it's annoying me, all right?
I just wanted to say it.
And you don't look at me again.
Yeah.
And then you just leave.
And that's it.
And at 18, I would have done that.
Yeah.
I've learned now in my old age.
That it's not worth it.
Yeah.
What about the friend that kept the secret?
Jess.
Oh, put her on the bin.
Jess is in the bin.
Get her in the bin.
Jess is in the...
I'd be looking Jess in the eye and I'd be like,
you lied to me like that again.
We will never have a friendship bracelet again.
Right.
She's brought...
Guys, by the way, she's not joking,
because I'll tell you what happened on Friday night, okay?
So bad.
I was really pissed about it.
Right, she said to me, holes and more,
go to Archer Street and make sure there's no queue.
So the three of us with Marv, Marv books the Uber,
we're all happy, very...
I've had 55 Margaritas.
Happily, merrily go, lucky we all four of us get an Uber,
la la la, waiting for him to put his frout of reverse into drive.
Open the door, you fucking little...
I can't believe you left me!
Can't believe you left me!
And I said, babe, fuck off and stop being a moody cow
and getting your Uber.
And how good is this?
I, because I was so drunk.
I thought Holly had said that, but it was Al.
It was me.
So we then had a huge go at Holly and Holly was like,
I wasn't even, I didn't even hear you open the door in the cab.
Then we all had a big fight and then we made up.
She called me, on the way home, right, she goes home, she called me at 2.03.
She was like, and then I missed it, and then I texted being like, are you okay babe?
She was like, sorry, I was just having a fight and I needed your information.
Oh she needed to...
The point is, say it.
Okay?
The point is, have the fight then move on.
Yeah.
Very good, very good, very good segue. Okay, voice point is have the fight then move on. Yeah, very good. Very good. Very good segue.
Okay, voice note number three.
Hi, Ali. Hey, G. My name's Leila and I've got a little bit of a friendship dilemma.
So I have two friends who we will call Phoebe and Katie.
I've been friends with Phoebe for around four years now and Katie around one.
Katie is one of my best friends and Phoebe is a bit more of a casual friend.
Some backstory. Katie is a crazy ex. Her and her ex went out for a year and a half
and after they broke up she's been on every girl's back about him and one of
these girls she happened to get on the back of was my friend Phoebe. Phoebe and
Katie's ex go to the same gym together and I know them both and they're totally
platonic but Katie seems to think otherwise.
After a while of stalking Phoebe's socials, Katie gives her a text asking what the deal
with them was.
When Phoebe replies saying they're just friends, Katie goes crazy talking about girl code and
how Phoebe's so-and-so violating it. When I hear all this I'm like,
Katie, Phoebe's not your friend. She doesn't owe you anything. And anyway,
Katie tells us that Phoebe was really horrible towards her after she sent her
initial messages. And I can't lie, I just brushed it off. I wasn't really
interested in the beef anyway. I'm not that arsed. Their beef isn't mine.
So cut to the next time I see Phoebe. She shows me the messages and Phoebe did not say anything.
She fully blocked Katie, left her on scene, did not reply.
And Katie's going about saying she's saying horrible things about her, which clearly is not true.
Now the dilemma I have is I'm having a Halloween party and I invited Phoebe first and Phoebe says that she
won't go if Katie's going. So do I A listen to Phoebe and not invite
Katie? B invite Katie instead? C invite them both and just don't tell either of
them that each of them are coming? Or D. Invite neither of them.
Thank you so much in advance for the response I get with my question.
Love the show, love you girls. Bye!
Bye babe! Sorry, I love that she gave us options.
There's an option E, actually.
Oh!
What you've got to do is you've got to build a Colosseum-style gladiator ring.
Oh, God's sake.
And have them fight to the death.
Because this is utter shit.
I was going to say...
And you've got to preside and watch them fight it out.
They can draw blood, let them get their claws out,
they can bite each other, they can hurl abuse.
I was going to say, would we arrange a coffee prior to the party
and would we just sit them both down and be like this?
You know like in Maiden Chelsea, where they set them up
and they're like, fight bitches.
It's not... It's not your problem, sorry. It's not your Maiden Chelsea, where they set them up and they're like, fight bitches. It's not your problem. Sorry.
It's not your problem, but also...
It's not your problem. Sorry.
Well, then you have to invite neither of them if it's not your problem.
Sounds like a not your problem. I have to say, as I get older...
No, she's stuck in the middle, babe.
She's not stuck in the middle.
She's stuck in the middle.
She can invite them both.
She's piggy in the middle.
She can invite them both, and she doesn't want it to ruin her party.
Well, then tell them to go outside.
No. I'm actually not joking. She doesn't want the energy, the't want it to ruin her party. Well, then tell them to go outside
I'm actually the other.
If you've got a problem with that, don't come.
Love you loads, wear a nice mask.
I wouldn't surprise them.
I think there's no need to set them up with surprise.
If they point blanked asked me, I would say.
If they didn't ask.
Phoebe's point blank said I won't go if Katie's going.
But you didn't ask me, did you invite her?
Babe!
Sorry, I'm just saying.
No.
It's a bit toxic.
Toxic AF.
Peace out.
No.
That's it.
Bad boots.
That's my contribution to the world today.
Off to hell for you.
Yeah, because it's not off to hell.
It's not my fucking problem.
Babe, if I had an arch-nem and I said to you... Babe, it's a bit different because one of them is her casual friend, she said.
Casual.
That's Phoebe.
Katie is our actual friend, so let's be Katie for a sec.
I'll be Katie and you've got a casual friend.
I would say...
And I...
Babe, and I said to you,
Oh no, oh I didn't know she was coming.
I would have had to have told you,
by the way, your arch-nem's coming, if you've got a problem with that.
And you'd say, if you invite that little witch, I'll never be your friend again.
I know you would.
I don't think I'm such a well-rounded individual these days.
You would say that.
I'd say, babe, whatever you want to do is your body.
She's so full of shit, wouldn't you?
Yeah, I'd fucking rip her to pieces.
Exactly.
And I stand in the doorway and I scowl at her.
So then you get to decide whether you come and have a kind word with her
or you don't come at all.
But you get to make that decision.
I think as a friend, I would do that for both of them.
I would just say, listen, the other's coming.
Do with that what you will.
Okay, fine. She's right.
Irritatingly, she is right.
However, I don't think that...
Because what's going to happen is, let's say, okay,
let's say you said that to me, and I'd be like,
beta! And I talk back, because I do talk back.
Jorri, I do often talk back.
You set a timer with Al, you just give it five minutes
and then she'll diffuse and you can have the actual conversation.
Yeah, you've got to take it for five minutes.
But that's my point, is that then you're even more in the middle
because then you've still got to do damage control,
even though you just want to have a fun Halloween party.
Either way, you're taking the stance by inviting the arch-nems, so I'm just saying.
But why would you not just not invite the casuals? If it were me, I would...
You wouldn't invite Phoebe first, she invited Phoebe first, which doesn't sound so casual
to me, hun. She got the invite before your real friend.
I would definitely be putting Phoebe in the bin.
Oh, Phoebe the gym bunny's in the bin.
Or I'd say I forgot the wrong date or something.
Oh my god, this is bad. This is getting bitchy boots.
I think everyone just needs to say,
listen girls, we're all adults here.
You're all going to come.
I'm going to play nice.
If the adult to text her and say...
Do a bit of apple bobbing.
No, but I just think like, I really do think...
Okay, this is very not like selfish point of view.
It is not your problem that these two are having a cat fight.
It isn't. You
aren't the person. They know each other.
You agree, but they are your friends. Like you're presuming she doesn't give a shit
about either of them. I think she does.
I would, sadly, okay. I think the way it's going to play out is that you're going to
have to pick a side.
I know and that is bleak.
And like, I don't think that, because I don't think that, okay, if you want me to be like
in my highest elevated self. Yeah, go on. We like it when you go there. And like, I don't think that, because I don't think that, okay, if you want me to be like in my highest elevated self.
Yeah, go on, we like it when you go there.
You give glasses when you do that.
In my highest elevated self, I would say,
if it were you and me, I would say, babe, okay.
You, and like, you know, I've got a boyfriend,
let's, in a parallel universe, that would be nice.
I've got a boyfriend, and no,
and one of your friends goes to the same gym as my boyfriend,
I think she's inappropriate with him. You're inviting her to your Halloween party, and you're not telling me. boyfriend and no and one of your friends goes to the same gym as my boyfriend I
think she's inappropriate with him you're inviting her to your Halloween party
and you're not telling me. That's what I mean okay fine yeah I would tell you but I think
that the outcome of that is that you're gonna have to be forced to pick a side
and if you would prefer not to pick a side you can't say anything. Yeah or then you just have to say
grow up. No but you can't babe because if your boyfriend was hitting on a girl at
the gym and I turned around to you and said grow up. No, but you can't babe, because if your boyfriend was hitting on a girl at the gym
and I turned around to you and said grow up, I don't think that would go down too smoothly.
Probably wouldn't to be fair. Unless you really said babe I trust her
and I know she's not trying to shag your boyfriend.
No, and you would say you don't even know her and we're blood sisters and you fucking...
She's your casual friend.
Yeah, and you've known her five minutes.
She's sucking my boyfriend's dick in the changing rooms. I know she is.
That's what's going to happen.
Jealousy is a horrible, horrible thing.
It'll kill you.
I think you have to pick a side, sorry to say.
And I don't know that that's...
I'm not saying which side to pick.
I just think like, if you don't want to be...
Pick a friend to come to the Halloween party.
Kind of, yeah.
Or tell the friend, tell your Katie or tell whoever,
expect the backlash and then expect to still have to pick a side.
Kind of sounds like you can say to Phoebe,
listen Phoebe, Katie is going to come because you know she's a bit psycho
and she's got to be there.
And also she's been my friend for far longer.
Sorry, I just met you last week.
Yeah, off to the gym. Her boyfriend will be there.
Actually, Phoebe was the longer friend despite them being casual.
Oh, sorry.
Oh, well that changes everything.
They are best friends though.
That changes everything. Who?
The casual friend.
Katie is one year, but they've...
Well that is hard because Al, what are you going to do?
Trump someone over years?
I've got friends, I've been friends with 20 years and you try and trump them.
I would say listen babe, I don't know if you know.
I...
The...
No, I think that's wrong.
You think time matters more?
No, I think time matters less.
Same.
Yeah, fair. I think intensity matters more. About death I think time matters less. Same. Yeah, fair.
I think intensity matters more.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Should we do a round up?
Let's do it.
Richard, play the jingle!
Raw number one.
Her friends have all got, she's gone to college
and she feels left out.
First of all, babe, this is very unlike me thing to say.
Try and look on the bright side of life try and look on the bright side of life.
Always look on the bright side of life.
Okay, the good things about being outside of the circle. What are the good things about
being outside the circle?
That you actually managed to move away from home, sorry.
That you've got a personality that's different to everyone else's.
Yeah, because you did something different.
That you'll have more interesting things to talk about when you see them.
That they become more interesting to you because you don't know anything about them, so then
you can't wait to see it all.
And vice versa, you become more interesting to them because you're living this big, like,
outlandish life.
Once you get rid of the jealousy, it's actually fascinating to see pictures of them all hanging
out together.
Good!
I actually have started enjoying that now.
I used to hate it, but now I like it.
Keeping up with him jokes is absolutely exhausting.
It's exhausting.
You don't have to do that anymore.
You don't have to do that. Also, you don't have to do any of this bitchy cat fighting.
You're out.
See you at Christmas, girls.
And you've got an opportunity to make all these new friends, have all of these new experiences.
And have the best of both worlds.
Brilliant.
Raw number two.
I think you're actually my star of the week.
The girl code situation.
Yeah, because you've really made us think about the radius of what's too far.
I've just been told I can't get with Roar.
It's such a shame.
No, you could get with him if I was still with him.
Yeah, that's allowed.
After our divorce, I think he's off limits.
But now...
All I'm saying is I'm in the radius, for example, girls.
And you will have your own radius and your own set
of principles.
You just need to apply that to your behavior.
Sadly, we can't apply it to Megan's in this situation.
Megan's radius, she thinks she's outside it.
Whether we think that's wrong or right.
Well, actually, that's an interesting point because if someone thinks they're outside the radius
but you don't think they are, what's the solution?
Because...
What is the solution there?
Because she might think, well, we're not really good friends.
That's the horrible thing though.
And the solution is having to confront that and then accept the fact that she will continue
to shag her ex-boyfriend whether you like it or not.
Because you're not in her radius, sadly.
And she's thinking, I'm assuming the way she's rationalizing it is if she did that to me,
I wouldn't care.
I hate that line of thinking because I just think, well, you're not me.
You're not there as well.
Get there and then tell me how you feel.
Jarring.
Maybe they really love each other, babe, and I'm so sorry about that.
Maybe they do, but maybe it's also a quick shag and then maybe it's not worth it.
Maybe you broke up with him and you don't care anyway in your most highest elevated
self.
Thank you.
That's actually a beautiful place to get to.
I've had to really get there.
Total indifference is honestly bliss, guys.
If you can get there.
I can't get there.
Why is it so far away?
It took me, sorry, it honestly took me three or four years before. I'm not joking. It takes,
imagine after you've got divorced with kids, you might never get there.
You might never get there. Seeing them with someone else will never be normal.
It's not about it being normal. It's about, it's okay. That's I think the difference.
It's not about it not being normal because it will never be normal. It's about, it's okay. That's I think the difference. It's not about it not being normal because it will never be normal.
It's about it not igniting fury or like disastrous hurt or sadness.
It's being able to exist around and feel a little bit like,
oh, I could just shrug it off while I'm here.
Yeah.
It's not like, oh, this is the most normal thing in the world
because it's never going to be normal.
I did feel sad the other day.
I know and that's okay that you're not there yet.
Guys, my ex-boyfriend for my last birthday bought me Chris Stapleton tickets and then
he went this year with a new girl.
It looked shit anyway, by the way.
It looked epic.
It looked absolute shit.
You're being a little silly witch.
It looked so good.
Well, did you actually see the gig?
Yeah, on everyone else's story.
Did you see any of the music?
The restaurant they went to before looked shit.
But did you want to be in that shit restaurant?
No.
No.
Sorry, he took another girl.
Yeah.
For his birthday present.
Yeah, babe. Sorry, I, shit. But did you want to be in that shit restaurant? No.
Sorry, he took another girl for his birthday present.
Sorry, actually.
On the day after my birthday this year,
because he bought it for me October 22nd, 2023.
And they went October 23rd, 2024.
As you said, bad boots. That's bad boots.
Bad boots.
Bad boots.
It's only been a year. I don't think you've...
If he does it next year, I promise not to care by then.
No, but I think maybe even... I think give it 18 months.
Indifference might be at the end of 18 months is what I'm saying.
I don't think... I think a year is too short.
Especially at our age. We're fucking ancient now.
You feel things so much more deeply than you do when you're 18.
I reckon give it 12 to 18 months.
Okay, okay. Check back in then, guys.
Okay, and raw number three. Oh, what a party it's going to be.
I think this girl is my star of the week because she's in a world of pain here.
It's not her fault. She's done nothing to deserve it.
Her friends are just being catty for no reason. Over a boy, it's always over a boy, girls.
They're not worth it.
Guys, pick something else to fight about.
I'm honestly, when you get to our ripe old age,
you will look back and think,
what an absolute waste of energy that was.
Waste of my time.
And wasted moments with your friends
that you could have had and cherished and laughed about
because it doesn't matter in the end anyway.
Oh, they're all, yeah, honestly, just let them go.
That's the solution.
I think that you have to do what you said,
is that tell them and then be prepared.
My advice would be to be prepared to pick a side,
because they're both going to demand that of you.
And as we said, time does not always trump depth.
No, it does not.
That's actually a whole separate topic for another day.
Well, you best write that down, someone.
Okay.
By someone, Rihanna. I mean you.
Have we got time for question of the week?
Of course.
Brilliant.
Richard, play the jingle now.
This is something a little bit different we're trying.
Sorry, actually, before we go there.
Sorry, sorry.
Is everyone obsessed with Richard's graphics from the Halloween app?
Yes, obsessed.
By the way, Rich, if you haven't gone and looked at the YouTube comments, you should,
because they're actually iconic.
Yeah. Did you see his response to us when we and looked at the YouTube comments, you should, because they're actually iconic. Yeah.
Did you see his response to us?
Yeah.
What, how fit he is?
No, did you see his response when he was like, because I was like, um.
Because I don't watch it.
You had, babe, you should just watch them because they're so funny.
Okay, okay.
He wrote basically like, Rich is right to reply.
I literally never called it the debrief.
You've been calling it the round up.
You two have been calling it the round up for the last six episodes and now you've decided
to change it to the debrief.
I know you're blaming Rich.
He's very funny.
Rich, I'm glad someone's listening.
We don't listen to our own content clearly.
The nightmare.
Right, we're mixing it up a little bit because that's what we like to do at Leave A Message
HQ.
This is actually Rohana's genius, so bear with.
So, question of the week this week was a broad question that people could send in
answers to because we wanted a little lol.
And we did a TikTok about this and we thought the galleys will have more.
What is something people lie about liking?
You're going to love this one.
Matcha.
Oh, that's really, really unfair.
Sorry.
As a matcha connoisseur.
Yeah, me too.
I will fight to the death.
So many people are saying matcha, matcha, matcha.
You need so much syrup.
Matcha, matcha.
I could drink that too.
Sorry.
This one's for you.
Sex.
No defamation to the galleys,
but your palates are underdeveloped if you don't like matcha,
I have to say.
Big girl groups when you're 12 to 17, yeah amen sister.
We've heard that today.
Big girl groups when you're 25 to 30 actually.
Sorry, this one's so good, watching a long film.
Yeah.
Challengers.
No defamation to Zendaya.
Why is it so long? And why was the end so boring? Long film. Yeah. I don't like that either. Hates it. Challengers. No defamation to Zendaya.
But why is it so long?
And why was the end so boring?
Oh, so bad.
The whole thing was boring to be honest.
Yeah, it was.
I just was waiting for them to shag.
Yeah.
Shag, yeah.
Working.
I don't think anyone says they like that.
I don't think anyone says they like that.
Beer.
Everyone's saying beer.
Men.
Ha ha ha.
The winter. Do we have to say someone said that? Guys, these are so men. The winter.
Do winter season always end like that?
Guys, these are so good.
Blue cheese, it tastes like socks.
Oh!
Oh my God, I've never felt so seen in my life.
I love blue cheese.
Blue brie is so good.
Ooh, I love brie.
Blue silt-on is the epitome of foot.
I'm sorry.
There is nothing more footy on earth.
Not even a foot is as footy as Blue Stilton.
Vodka on its own, amen.
Do you like it?
No.
That be your shot of choice?
Oh no, tequila would be good.
Someone was trying to get me to do Sambuca on sassafra.
I thought, I'm not 15.
What would your shot of choice be?
Mine would obviously be tequila, yeah.
Or Cafe Patron.
That is just still tequila.
But it's coffee.
Yes, maybe I should.
It's good, it's a different job. It doesn't have dairy in it. I don't, babe, sorry. No,'s coffee. Yes, babe, I... It's good. It's a different job.
It has dairy in it.
I don't, babe, sorry.
No, no, no, just caffeine, I think.
Are you dairy allergic?
No, but sometimes when I'm drinking alcohol, it does have an effect.
Dairy.
Oh, babe, I actually think I'm allergic because my hangovers aren't right.
When are you ever, what, dairy or alcohol?
Alcohol.
No, babe, I don't think you're allergic.
I think you're seriously over the age.
I'm allergic.
Oh, sorry, over the limit and over the age, actually.
I was over the limit.
I do apologize for anyone I shouted at on Friday night.
Yeah, Friday night.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm allergic. I think you're seriously over the age. I'm allergic. Oh, sorry. Over the limit and over the age actually.
I was over the limit. I do apologize for anyone I shouted at on Friday night.
Yeah, Friday night. Fishing.
Also, sorry, we must say there were two galleys in the smoking area.
Not that we were smoking, we were just standing outside to catch some breath.
And they came up and they were like, oh my God, you know, they were like saying hi.
And I said, I came over and I was like, oh my God, babe. And she, I'm so sorry about her because she
honestly didn't know which way was up or down. And I was like, babe, these two girls and
you were like, ah, ah.
Looking at me and I didn't want to do that. Because all the girls have been taking the
piss out of me earlier because apparently I'd said, I asked this girl to take her chair.
And then she went, oh my God, this is so weird.
I watch your pod, your G.
And I went, yeah, Ali and G.
And all the girls were ripping the shit into me.
Because they were like, who do you think you are saying you're G from Ali and G?
So then I was embarrassed to go up to the girls in the swimming area and be like,
oh, you know me.
I'm G from Ali and G.
I was just embarrassed. So I didn't want to say hello to anyone then. Anyway, sorry about her, you know me. I'm G from Alley and G. I'm G from Alley and G. I was just embarrassed,
so I didn't want to say hello to anyone then.
Anyway, sorry about her.
Sorry about me.
Anyway, it was a very good question.
We'll be doing more of them
because those answers were brilliant.
Love you all so much.
Thanks for listening.
Happy Wednesday.
See you next week.
Bye.
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