Leave A Message with Ally & G - 43 - It's Christmas! Gift Expectations, Surprises & Proposal Plans

Episode Date: December 25, 2024

And the bells are ringing out on Christmas Day! Welcome to the Christmas Special of Leave A Message where we are embracing the festivities as Ally & G are helping you with your festive dilemmas. From dealing with high expectations over the festive season to staying true to yourself over the holidays, Ally & G tackle everything from handling intense romantic interest (good for you!) to navigating the Christmas blues. Plus - what is the etiquette when it comes to gift giving at this time of year? We debate it on the podcast! Whether Christmas is the most wonderful, or most difficult, time of your year, we wish you a Merry Christmas & A Happy New Year from Team Leave A Message. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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FanDuel makes betting on the NFL easier than ever before. So make the most of this football season and download FanDuel today. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling Palm, call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsontario.ca Oh my God, happy Christmas! Happy Christmas kids! Ho, ho, ho! Before we get started with this episode of Leave a Message, our Christmas episode, we want to do something very important and arguably the most important part of Christmas is gift giving. So, Rohana, we have a present for you. Very, very exciting.

Now, listen, if you listen to or watch this pod, you'll know that Rohana is in fact faceless and even at the live show you might only ever see the back of her head. Unless you look on Vlogmas, because I've just fully revealed her on Vlogmas. Sorry about me. I don't want to be elusive anyway. She's over it now. We read out on the mic, babe. We poured our heart and soul into this Christmas card.

Do people still do Christmas cards? I love a card. Babe, Jack sent me in the mail a Christmas card of him and his girlfriend Mel, and they'd like Photoshop themselves into like Mr and Mrs. Paws. Full Christmas card, only one I've had from our generation. That's really sweet, Jack. You get it. Not from your generation. First's really sweet, Jack. You get it. From your generation. First of all, thanks guys.

You're so welcome. I wasn't expecting this. It's not a very Christmassy card, but you know, we thought you were DeVie. Well, dear Rohana, have a fab Xmas. Thanks for putting up with us. We love you. Gorgeous girl. Have them.

Oh, it's from each of you. Well, actually, this is one of those classic Ali and G things. I wrote it on behalf of both of us, and then I went ahead and I just wrote a separate thing. I just wrote it. So that was fine. That's hilarious. Have the most restful and special Christmas. Thank you for all your work on Alam this year.

We appreciate you. We do appreciate you a lot. Should I open it or not? You must open it right now. I have a feeling I know what it is. Really? What do you think it is? It feels like a hat. Yes, good. She's a genius.

Yeah. Feels like a hat. This is perfect. Now you're such a gym girl. When you really can't be... Do you love it? I'm going to cry. So if you're listening, it's a cap. It's a pink cap and it says, producer Rohana on the front.

Isn't it so cute? I love it. It's so good. Yeah. Put it over the top of the headband. Yeah. You don't need to wear it all the time. Yeah.

Gorgeous. Get it, girls. Get it. Oh, so good. Really fun. Sorry. Giving presents is one of my favourite things. I actually, okay, I don't want to say I enjoy it more than receiving, because I obviously do enjoy receiving more,

but it is a nice feeling when someone opens something that you put thought into. Yeah, I love it. I love giving presents. It's my favourite thing, especially when I've smashed it. Well, she's had a nightmare this year, because the fucking present she was supposed to be surprised is now going to have to be installed a week before Christmas. Oh my god, guys. So the first Christmas ever that I just feel like an adult, I feel like I can spend my Allianz limited bonus on my parents,

I ordered this enormous egg, like the cooking egg, the big Komodo eggs. They're so expensive and I just didn't really look at the dimensions or the weight because I'm just living my life. I can't be spending my time doing that. I would never stop to look at that. Never. Then I saw on the delivery thing Arrow XL is the company delivering it and I thought, oh XL that sounds big. Anyway, this guy, God love him, rang me and he went, is that Georgina? And I was

like, yeah. And he was like, listen, I've seen your name and flat two. And I thought, she hasn't thought this through. So I thought I'd give you a call. And I was like, thank God he did. I know. I was like, give you a cool enough. I know I was like Oh, no, what is it? And he was like, it's enormous It's a two-man job. And if I bring it up to your second floor flat, how the hell are you gonna get it down? He was like, it's in a freight crate. I was like, oh no, I didn't really think about that. So anyway now I've got a cold him. No babe because I rang them this morning I was number 38 in the queue.

And fuck is ordering shit from Arab XL. Everyone's ordering a Komodo, smoking their turkeys on the barbecue. So anyway, I'm going to have to get through to them eventually and try and arrange it to be delivered to my parents' house. And I'm just going to have to like figure out when they're out or something. Install it and then say to Linda, don't you fucking dare look under that blanket because you could ask him to put a little scaffolding on it. It's Christmas Day so if you want to know, I'm sure I'll be posting on my stories about the fucking egg dramas and nightmares. I'm just trying to do something nice.

No, but babe, well done. Oh, the other problem is that they're now going to come, the Invisalign conversation is really... Oh yeah, this was the whole thing. So basically I'm like so excited. I'm being generous and I'm gifting, la la la. First year that we can like, you know, gift with some cash in our pockets. Yeah, cash in our pockets and you know, like a bit of weight behind us. Then I go ahead and realize that I've got gum disease at the age of 28, which is actually the ickiest thing. Oh, don't worry. Don't worry. I've just discovered I've got high cholesterol.

You're lying. Babe, shit, my mum is freaking just discovered I've got high cholesterol. You're lying. Babe, shit, my mum is freaking out. She's been texting me, have you lost weight recently? Are you really highly stressed? Have your hormones changed? And I was like, okay, just slow down a second. Sorry, I'm sorry. Yeah, slow down. No, no, no, it's fine. I'd rather talk about your cholesterol than my rotting teeth. No, but basically the problem is that Martin...

Can we not? The problem is basically that Martin's now going to turn around and say, why have you spent all this money on an egg when you should have been spending all this money on your gums? But alas, I'd already bought the egg and then I went to the dentist and was told that my gums are falling apart. Had she known? She had gum...

Do they bleed when you brush? Yeah, yeah, they're bad, bad, bad, bad boots. So basically, they had been bleeding. So I was like, okay, this is not good. And one of my teeth is really like moved. It is not well. It is facing in all in all kinds of you don't want to see that And then it's why I'm looking at this teeth analyzing this teeth. I open my mouth. I realized I've got no gum I've got no gum behind this teeth. It's just teeth. No, you can see pretty

It's sexy and anyway, so then I think what I've got to get in this align This is like ASAP Rocky stuff anyway, I go to the Invisalign Dentist doctor lady and she's like, absolutely. I open my mouth, she audibly gasps. I'm like, what is happening? And she was like, this is bad. You need to see a periodontist ASAP. That's a gum dentist. Go to the gum dentist.

She's like, wow, gum disease is gum disease thing in your mouth. You're going to like, basically, I need a gum graft eventually which is a surgery to Reinstall my gums. Where you getting it from? Don't ask. I don't want to know Your mouth I was thinking my dad's had a dolphin. So I'm like, is it dolphin? I had a bone graft and they it was bovine. It was cow. It's cow. Yeah Thank you, thank you. I will take you up on that because I'm falling apart. Anyway, then long story short, I also need seven fillings at the same time.

So I'm like mortified about the state of my dental hygiene. It's just so bad. And I do brush twice a day, guys, but I don't floss. And I've now started flossing twice a day, like so religiously. Yeah, yeah, yeah, like I don't fuck about now. If I go home with someone on a one night stand, you best believe I'll floss my teeth. And I don't care what they have to say about it.

What, these are the sticks? Yes, I will be incidentally in bed if I need to. Yeah, yeah, as you should. No, no, that's absolutely right. And Al's also got the cholesterol of a 50 year old man who eats lard for breakfast, so that's good. Yeah, and she said, I was like, what are the, what are the, like, reasons?

She was like, fatty foods, lack of exercise, smoking, drinking, drugs, I don't eat any of those things. Maybe, is there some kind of ingredient in all that gluten-free shit? Babe, it's not like- A bit ultra-processed. I'm not eating, it's not like I'm shoveling it in large. You know what I mean?

It's not like, anyway, then she was like, it's genetic and I texted my mom, have you got high cholesterol? She was like, no. I was like, it's genetic and I text my mum, have you got high cholesterol? She was like, no. I was like, okay. Has she had it tested? Yes. Oh, babe, you're fucked.

What if it's your dad? I've just texted him to say, have you got high cholesterol? More likely to be him than her, to be fair. Shit. Anyway, happy Christmas. That's good. So what we got for Christmas was bad health. We got it about it.

And I'd like to now hibernate for like I'd say five to ten working days across Christmas. Health situations are really quite stressful I have to say. Yeah. But someone's always got it worse than you remember. Yeah true. Like I literally like was like... Some people have got brain tumours and stuff. Yeah like I was banging on about my teeth and then Olivia told us that story about her friend and I thought well I'm fine I'm good. I'll live. Yeah, so there's always someone worse, guys, on Christmas. And that actually leaves us nicely onto... Christmas.

Well, no, a message we'd had from a listener... Yes. ...about how to kind of deal with Christmas blues. If you're not feeling so... Christmassy, joie de vie. You're more Grinch than Santa. Listen, everybody. You should know this about me, that I'm this person,

so nothing to worry about, you're not alone. First of all, if you don't like Christmas, don't pretend to like Christmas. Don't try and be merry, jolly, happy, ho, ho, ho. If you want to be Grinchy Grinchmas, that's fine. Yes, Grinch at the start of the film we're talking, not at the end, because Grinchy at the end is pretty festive. I would just say, if you don't love it, don't... Like, I think with Christmas, you can choose to really lean in or really lean out.

Just lean out. Don't bother with the tree. Don't bother with all the bullshit, like Christmas cards and like... Or pick the bits that you like, because maybe the tree doesn't offend you, but sitting in a corner with one family member does and don't do that bit. Do you know what I mean? Like, maybe try and pick and choose if you can to take the bits that you really like. And leave the rest. Yeah.

I was listening to Self Esteem talk about this on some kind of podcast the other day and she was saying... About Christmas. Yeah, about Christmas and she was just saying that like, if you tend to feel like suffocated by societal norms in like everyday life, then Christmas is kind of when they're like all on crack. Yeah.

Like Christmas really leans into like heavy societal norms of like nuclear families, of having like wealth to spend and having like disposable income and like, like just all of this stuff, this like picture perfect stuff, like that's what Christmas is because it's kind of like marketing. Yeah. And they've lost the true meaning of Christmas, as Elf says. And like, I just think it's OK to feel quite overwhelmed at this time of year. And I know it feels like you're then a Grinch, but actually you're not

because everything that you might try to avoid January to November is then thrust upon you with no choice in December. And that's like, Whoa, I didn't ask for that. And it just comes whether you want it or not. And I think like, especially if you if there are reasons that you don't love Christmas that are family associated. Yeah.

I mean, it's hard because when you're younger, you that's the problem is you have a lack of choice. Yes. But as you get older, the most beautiful thing about it is that you can choose and you have the power. My advice when you're younger is this is so like mean almost, but like grin and bear it. I don't have any other advice. It is a day. Well, sometimes it's a bit of a period, but you know, yeah, Christmas Day is one day. And also like, you know, don't go out of your way to be overly friendly or like be the life and soul. Like if you're having a tough day

and you just want to like mumble along and like sit and eat your dinner and pick the bits that you like and then sit in front of a and people are going to get at you for like being antisocial. That's fine. I just want to sit here and watch the holiday. Like, as much as you can, also try and do it your way. Protect your energy. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is really hard at Christmas. Oh my God, it's hard at Christmas. Yeah, because it's like there's tradition all over the shop and maybe you don't like tradition. Do you know what I mean? And it's like... Yeah. Those traditions might not serve you anymore

and you still need to do them. Like they're forced. Yeah, yeah. Those traditions might not serve you anymore and you still need to do them. Like they're forced. Yeah, often. Very jarring actually. Babe, you're going to be great. No, no, listen, but this is the thing. I'm 28 years in of, it is just one day.

Wake up, you know, sleep, have a lion, that'll waste some time. Yeah. You know what I mean? Also just leave is leave with me and my mum are up at like 6am like drinking fizz. Last year, I was absolutely shitfaced before lunch. It was so bad. I can't drink that much this year. Or do that. That's a good way to waste time. To be fair, I highly recommend actually. Please drink responsibly. Yeah, sorry. Not at all actually. Welcome to Leave A Message. Happy Christmas! Happy Christmas.

If you're having a good day and you love Christmas, enjoy, go for the multiply, soak it all in. It is only just one day of the year that you get to live. Yes. And it's so exciting when you wake up on Christmas morning and it's like you waited all December for this. Yeah. If you don't love it, also hi, love you,

go and have a really long shower. Yes, or a nice walk or something. Yeah, If you don't love it, also hi, love you, go and have a really long shower. Yes, or a nice walk or something. Yeah. Yeah, get out the house. Yeah, love you. Love you so much. Should we get into it? What are we calling the galleys today? Oh, we best call them something like Rudolph. Yes. Hey, Ali and G. I just wanted to send a little voice note about a situation I've been in. For a little bit of context, I am a final year uni student. And there's this boy. And I don't know if you know UK unis and how a lot of them have like sports societies and how that's quite a big part of your uni friendships and things like that. So I'm part of the Dance Society. We do a big charity event every year where all of the sports teams

choreograph dance and they perform it and I was helping the men's hockey team do their dance this year. One of them showed an interest in me, one of the boys, and became very obsessed with me and sort of fell in love with me and it all got very intense. We saw each other for a week before the uni term ended and now we've gone home for Christmas and in that week it all got very fast-paced and very intense very quickly. He showed up at my door with flowers and he's honestly the loveliest, kindest person. We have so much in common. He knows what Strictly Come Dancing is. He likes Taylor Swift and he watched The Next Step as a child. so these are all major green flags for me.

But I don't know how you tell if you're really physically attracted to someone and I know that's something that you would know quite soon but I feel like I've only ever had a lust attraction for the guys before because I've never been in a relationship. I'm trying to work out what I should do because I basically phone called him in a panic shutting it down before the end of terms saying I can't do this It was all very intense bearing in mind. He's nocturnal He's in second year whereas I'm in final year and he goes out all the time I don't do that anymore until there's definitely a big lifestyle difference between us, but we get on really well Do you think this means

we're compatible romantically? And I'm just running away. But yeah, thank you. If you have any advice for me, that would be greatly appreciated. Okay, so much to talk about here. Oh, Rudolph number one. Too much to talk about. Where do we start? Okay. Can I just say, stereotypicallyically hockey boys are really nice boys. Like if you're going to date anyone from any like... Sports boy. Yes, if you're going to do a sports boy, go for hockey.

Really? He's a hockey boy. He's definitely met a hockey. They're now married. Really? Yeah, they met a hockey. I mean, I wouldn't know what sports society social is like because I never was a part of one.

Ever. It's fun. It's good times. Oh no, and then mental. I was netball. Yeah, yeah one ever. It's fun. It's good times. Oh, no. Oh, and then... I was netball. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's crazy. At uni as well. I've written to you when you said he was like really keen and... Al's face said it all, but I'm hoping you've done a 180. What? I said don't trust him.

Well, you were just like, ugh. Well, because... You were coiled. Because... And I am actually going to generalize here, because I think sometimes those kinds of people are a little bit toxic. It's all that love-bomby, see Rihanna's grinning from ear to ear because that's what she's looking for.

But it doesn't last. And that's the most, like, they make these big grand gestures and they, I've seen it happen to so many friends where like, they're all in, head over heels, the big gestures and the flowers and they make you feel so wanted and so special and then it goes away like that and that makes me nervous. However, I think about me and Raw and it wasn't to that extent, but we moved really quickly. The only difference was we weren't geographically separate.

So maybe, I mean, he wasn't flying to Bristol and like, you know, arriving on my doorstep with flowers, but like, we went from zero to a hundred in like three weeks. And I don't really know what the difference is. And I don't know that there is a difference because I think we're so afraid now of like wearing our hearts on our sleeves and like actually turning up at someone's house with flowers like as a

singular action isn't that crazy? If it's repeated behavior patterns though it's a bit weird. Imagine. Yeah, okay, if they were turning up every day with a different gift, sure, but if it's he did that and then he's also really affirmative with his words and he lets you know he likes you, yes, that can come across as full on for sure because he knows what he wants and you're in the headspace of still figuring it out. Therefore there's a bit of a disparity because he knows, he really fancies you, you've got

loads in common, he's like, why wouldn't we? You didn't, I'm guessing from what you said about lust, you didn't fancy him straight away, and you're kind of thinking maybe I could if he gave me the time. I think you can articulate that to him. I think there might be a conversation that says, I might need to slow down a tiny bit, I like you, but I really want to get to know you and see what this is.

Well, that thing about, go on, sorry, what if she's demisexual? Yeah, she might be. When she said that. Well, also, what if she's demisexual? Yeah she might be. She might be. When she said that. Well also, what she said about like lust, we were talking about this, about like lusty relationships. Like I think the difference is between like a lusty relationship and something like what you're describing is like a lusty relationship,

sometimes like the foundations are really weak because all you are- No, no, no, there are no foundations. Okay. Like don't you think? I genuinely don't you think? I genuinely don't think there's any. Yeah, because all the foundation is a sexual attraction.

Yeah, which comes and goes and ebbs and flows and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so actually what you're describing is the perfect foundation. Start to a relationship. Yeah. Yeah, it's true. Because like, listen.

I agree. Yeah. Yeah. Even my healthy mindset. If she's an highest elevated self. Come on Rana, it's true. Because like, listen. I agree. Yeah. If I'm in my healthy mindset. If she's in her highest elevated self. Come on, Rana, it's Christmas. Fucking are you feeling okay? I'm doing some self work.

So good. I've been reading some therapy books, don't know if I can tell you. I think if you find him like, you know, like if you like to be around him in his company, attraction can grow. Don't get me wrong, you can't be like repulsed by someone and it can't grow from that. There has to be something there where you can be like, oh yeah, maybe I could fancy it. Like I like him, like liking someone and like enjoying their face is enough, do you know what I mean? But like you don't have to feel like, I want to rip their clothes off. No.

No way. Or like that instant chemical like guttural like ratata. You don't need that always. No way. Or like that instant chemical, like guttural, like rata-tata. You don't need that always. Also, I just want to say quickly, the stuff about like you being in third year, him being in second year, like that just genuinely is just circumstance, it sounds to me.

That's not a big enough difference to like be a like cock block to you. Well, it's a big enough difference if it's badly communicated. Yeah. Because if it's like... But it will change, is what I'm saying. But you have to say. if it's badly communicated. Yeah. Because if it's like... But it will change, is what I'm saying.

But you have to say. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, like, I can't have you, like, texting me at 3am, because you've got in drunk, like, I'm sleeping, because I'm going to wake up and go to the library tomorrow. Whatever. Babe, I think give him a go. Text him and say, listen, I was a bit prangy when I phoned you.

I really like you, and when we get back to uni, I'd like to see how it goes. And you could say, like, I find, you know, I really appreciate the gestures of XYZ, whatever the gestures are. I find it overwhelming. But it's a bit much for me. Yes. And like, it's not to say that I don't like you and like, occasionally I like that, but

it's just like, right, all in one go or like, all so quickly. I'm feeling overwhelmed. I'm feeling a bit flustered, yeah. I'm also doing my final year exams and I'm on the brink of a breakdown. So if you could just move slowly, that'd be great. Yeah. Yeah. If that's how you're feeling, that might have just been me.

Copy and paste that, yeah. Send that message, yeah. Absolute third year breakdown for me it was. We love the festive period, but with how busy it is, we're always looking for ways to stress less. HelloFresh helps make mealtime manageable, saving you from searching for recipes or all of that food shopping. You just pick your meals and everything you need is delivered right to your door. And if you're traveling for the holidays or you're just too busy to cook at home, you can easily skip a week's delivery if you need to.

And the best bit is when you come back from your holiday, the box full of food is right there ready to go. Oh, that's brilliant. Have you ever done that, babe? Babe, I do that all the time. Genius. Well, you are going away in Jan. And I've got my HelloFresh ready to come first week. I'm back. Brilliant. You can get 10 free meals at HelloFresh.com slash free aliegee. Brilliant. Hyundai isn't just in the race, we're setting the pace. As Canada's most awarded fully electric vehicle lineup,

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all the details in the episode description. Now this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics. But if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Rudolph number two. Yes. Hi, Kelly. Just thought I would leave you a message.

I have a bit of a Christmas dilemma with my partner. We share an Amazon account where he pays for it and I just get to reap the free shipping rewards and he asked me to turn the little app notifications off because he wanted to order me a Christmas present over Black Friday and I was like, oh sure, no worries. And of course I turned them off, but a day later I went into the app to see what had been ordered. And I saw that a Kindle had been ordered,

which I had been asking forever for, but I've been a little bit of a cheeky gal and been essentially gaslighting him into telling me that he got me a Kindle. And I have been saying, I can't wait for my Kindle on Christmas, but I've not admitted to knowing. And if I do get this Kindle on Christmas, there is a chance it could be for someone else. But if it is for me and I do get it on Christmas day, I don't know if I should own up to the fact that I have

known since he ordered it on Black Friday or I should just pretend that I never ever found out. I would appreciate any advice because I don't really condone lying but I also don't want him to think that I am just gonna ruin every surprise going forward. Love the pod all the way from Australia. I hope you have a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Love you girls. Love you. Merry Christmas, babe. From London.

What's so weird is that, and I always think this about Australia. They're like a full day ahead, like on the, we will be in 2024 and they'll be in 2025. It's so fucking weird. Because last year, no, the year before, Steph was in Australia for Christmas and we rang her on our Christmas afternoon and it was like the morning of Boxing Day. What? That's crazy. Babe, lie until you die. Yeah, agree. Take that one to the grave.

And listen, we don't condone lying either, but needs must. Because you've been a cheeky bitch there, and you've looked, and you know it's cheeky, so you just don't say anything. Babe, I'm going to level with you. If he doesn't give you that Kindle. If he Emma Thompson's you, that's crazy. We just both of us will love, actually, Emma Thompson.

Alan Rickman, at his worst. I can't speak ill of the dead, but he did do something bad in that film. That's all I'm saying. He better give it to his mom or something. I could be for his mom babe. What you gonna do then? Surely I did by my mama Kindle on Black Friday. Did you it was very good deal. How much did you pay? 120 quid oh, that's pretty good really for the big one. Did you get the touch one? It's the big yeah It's a pay-per-light. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, really good. Well, it was for my dad guys I'm not also scared her the Kindle. I'm the bloody egg.

Can you listen to audio on Kindle? No. No. Oh, kind of shit. Sorry. Kind of pointless then. Don't get it. Why would you need it?

Oh, babe, I pray you get that Kindle. And also, why don't you send a little link to, she needs Sophia Tuxford's Amazon shopfront. Yes. Babe, you need to get on there there because all of the Kindle accessories. Imagine Christmas Day and she doesn't open the Kindle. Like what I would cry for. I will cry for you.

What the? No, but also at least it's a Kindle. Imagine it was like Jean Provocateur and you're like, sorry, where the hell's that sexy set gone? I must be for you. It's got to be for you. I put a tenner on the fact that it's for you. Do not tell him because men are so easily wounded, and you'll be like, I'm never getting you anything nice again.

And this is now me because I've ruined every surprise for the rest of my life. And I keep telling her off because obviously the proposal's coming in a few weeks. She's so sure about it. Obviously, we're all going to get down on one knee at some point between now and next Christmas. So if she keeps ruining things, she might never get proposed to. I'm very serious about it. One of us has got to do it. And we've got to start milking the brands actually for the marriage money.

Yeah, because I'm on my knees with dating them. I can't do much else. If he proposes and he tells you, can you just angle it on a Monday so we can record on the channel? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or like I'm genuinely thinking if he doesn't get me involved, I am going to be a tiny bit fuming because the shit I can do around it will be magnificent. That'll be the viral video. I'm telling you now that'll get us to a million overnight. That'll be the one.

Yeah, and he's nowhere to be seen. He's not talking to me. The only thing he ever talks to me about is printing bloody shipping labels, and I just can't cope with it. He won't speak to me about a ring. But yeah, basically, the less your boyfriend knows, the better. Yeah. That's my experience of madness. Keep them in the dark. Totally. Yeah. Retweet on all of that. Yeah. Rudolph number three.

So my ex-situationship begged for me to get back together with him and I sat there and went, no. Well done. And he begged and worked with me for months. Said it was changing, all this and all that. Basic waffle from a six-foot man. And I said, if you're going to change, let's do a trial period. You're on a three-month probation. So this started in October. So it's only a three-month trial period. It's not anyone, if you're not passing, you're being left in 2024. If not, we're taking you on to 2025.

You know, right? Sound. I'm promising him a blowjob in New Year's if he passes, but he's not passing. I know for a while the man's not passing. He can stay there. So basically, I'm just entertaining this man for the sake of giving him false hope that he gave me false hope. So an act of revenge, you'll see. My question is, how do I? Nicely, because he's actually tried

to tell him to bonsoir and bugger off. Because how do I send that in a message? Sorry, your trial period has ended. You're really successful. You've broken your parole. How do I go about this? Your jokes, babe. That was so good. You did not hit your targets for the year. Hate to tell you. You're fired. I think maybe keep it in jest. Why don't you stay with the kind of metaphor of the probation period? I like it. Why don't you really treat it like he's an employee and you are letting him go? Over text this has to be because in person this won't go down well. Yes, you've kind of got to, you've got to be tongue in cheek but not too tongue in cheek that he thinks you're like joking with him. It's not a joke, it's serious. I

guess you just say we won't be picking up your contract for 2025 and we'll be terminating your employment here. That's so funny. Have you seen like how guys say that when girls are finished with them, they start to be like their HR member? Yeah, I did that when me and my boyfriend broke up. That was the hardest conversation I've maybe ever had in my life. And I was a full robot. Like you can't like have any emotions. You just have to totally dissociate. Yeah. Yeah, you've just got to be like, I don't want this anymore. I don't want to be with

you and I need us to break up. And that's it. Best wishes. Best wishes. Yeah, best wishes. If you need anything. I won't be here actually. Yeah, you just send the Samaritans number or something and then you're on your way.

And then they can deal with him. Call your friend, call your mum, just don't call me. Yeah, I want nothing to do with you and I wish you well. I mean, you have to be savage, babe. The reality is there's no kind way to say any of that stuff. Especially at Christmas, babe, it's cuffing season. It's savage of you to break up with him now, but you've got to do it. I would do it.

Oh, the problem is that you won't hear this until Christmas Day. So if you haven't done it by now, babe, I'd leave it now till 31st. Of December. I'd do it New Year's Eve and be like, listen, I wanted to tell you now. New Year's Eve? I'd start the new year. Did you? A situationship.

Technically last year, yeah. I kind of got myself into... Started dating someone exclusively by accident. Yeah, okay, yeah. And I literally told him like a few... In fact, it was a few minutes after midnight. I was like, I don't think I actually want this. Wow, good. After midnight is after midnight. I was like, I don't think I actually want this. Wow, good. After midnight is so rogue. Wow.

I would have gone like 11. But let him wake up. You know me, I like a new start. Let him wake up on the first fresh. I mean, I don't know. I reckon like, did you have a midnight kiss? No. Okay, fine.

I'd rather my like 31st was ruined than my 1st of Jan. If my 1st of Jan is ruined, it's all over. That's bad news. Yeah, me too. I don't care about the news. Yeah, I can't have a bad first day. Yeah. I can't have it. It's got to be fresh energy.

Yes, exactly. So I would just get on with it, babe. We were talking about this before. Why is it so hard to be direct with people? Because it's like uncomfortable. It's uncomfortable. And if you feel like a bad person, even though you're just putting your own boundary and like standing your own ground. Well, and also it's not how we normally speak.

So like, oh, that's why how we normally speak. So like... Oh, that's why you've got to get more direct as a general rule in life. Everyone's so afraid of saying like... You can't be direct all the time and no one's going to be your mix. It's not nice to hang around with. No, because you can be direct in like an in a kind way. It doesn't have to be unkind. You can say...

No, but I'm saying like you do it, like your voice changes. If you were like that all the time I'd be like lighten up Crack a joke. I think that's what I'm currently dealing with With me? Yeah, actually Thanks for the hat but you're a bit too direct Just being too direct Yeah, no, listen, I love direct and I love direct people

I think it's amazing. But I think because when you've got something you want to say, you often, even without knowing, rehearse it in your head. Yeah. And it comes out very differently. I just don't rehearse it. It's like, oh, is it hot in here? No.

Like, it's just like, no, yes, no. Yeah. Yeah. But then when it comes to something that's like... No, but that's... Yes, no is different to like... Impacting others. I'll leave you in 2024. Yeah. Or like, it comes to something that's like... No, but that's... Yes, no is different to like... Impacting others. I'll leave you in 2024.

Yeah, or like, I'm quitting this job. Like, do you know what I mean? Like, it's like those conversations are so outside the norm of like, candid chatter. But I think... That they are weird to have. They're weird, but like, I think that it's important to get comfortable kind of having them, because they're not going to get like... You're going to have those conversations all your life.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you've got to be able to say what you mean. What you mean? Say less. Say what you mean. That's the real crux of it. I do this all the time. I walk around the houses to get there. Fucking hell. You've just got to say what you mean. Yeah. Just say what you mean. You got much better at that this year.

Yeah, I know. Legend in the game. I've been really working on it. Working on myself. Do you want to do a round up? Yes. OK, Rudolph number one. Pocky boy. Give him a go, babe. And if it doesn't work, it doesn't work.

Yeah. Tell him. Communicate. Yes, yes. And don't be afraid to slowly fancy someone. Oh, this is the thing. Don't be afraid to let him grow on you. I would actually say run away from lust. Yeah.

I would go that far. Oh, Rohan, I hate to tell you. Don't run away. Like, if it comes, it's really nice, but... Obviously it's nice, but it's... It's not a great starting place for a relationship, is what I would say, because from experience, lust can only last so long. And then when the lust goes, what is left? Being friends is a good start and it sounds like you guys are companions

and that's a good place to start. You basically want to find a friend that you love shagging. That's actually what you want. Because you can have really good sex with people that you didn't initially lust after. Like, I've even had that recently where like, yeah, didn't have that like, oh my god, I really fancy him, I want to rip his clothes off, but when we like got down to it, it was absolutely brilliant. 10 out of 10, then I fancied him more than I did at the beginning.

Do you know what I mean? So that does exist. It just, you just got to trust it. Yeah. Okay, number two. Okay, lie to, take it to the grave, lie through your teeth. Yeah, Okay, number two. Okay, lie to take it to the grave. Lie to your teeth. Yeah, lie to your die.

Lie to your die. You never saw the Kindle on the Amazon account. And I really hope you get it and or if you don't get it that some family member gets it because otherwise there's some serious get in touch because there's some detective work to do there. Something's gone wrong. You didn't try very hard though. Why would you use the Amazon account?

I know. You could go in store. Like John Lewis. You could literally do anything else. Also, like, it's a kindle. Like, it's a really nice present, but it's not like... Look, babe, I think it's a really nice present. I hope you get it. But like, it's not like shocking, I'm guessing,

if she's been asking for a kindle all year. It's not like he's really put his brain to it. Like, you haven't thought much. Sorry. What's there to hide, babe? You got me a kindle I've been asking for. Thanks. Like, obviously thanks, but you know, love him, love you anyway, sorry.

And then number three. Sorry, do people still do that? What? Couples. Like, hiding their Christmas presents from each other. No, Alan Rohr are the worst. There's no element of surprise in their relationship anywhere. Well, I literally, he'll buy his trainers, like, yep, you could just send me 80 quid.

And I'm like, that's not really how Christmas works. Yeah, that's not really Christmas, but sure. And then Al went and got these sunglasses that we all hate. And so Raw refuses to buy them for her for Christmas. So then she had to buy them herself. And then he had to go and get her a different pair. It's just ridiculous, their Christmas situation. They might as well just have the gifts now.

You do nothing on Christmas day. Basically, yeah. Yeah. Question. Do you guys deem Christmas presents to like birthday presents? Do you think like Christmas present is bigger than a birthday present? My problem is they all fall within a week for me. I know. But it doesn't, it still matters. Everyone still has to get you two presents.

I know, but it's always come together. So my 30th of December. Are you the 28th? No, I'm May. Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Lily's always come together. So my 30th of December. Are you the 28th? No, I'm May. Oh yeah, sorry, sorry, sorry. Lily's the 28th. No, it's May. No, but is it like I would never have a differentiating factor

between like a big birthday present or a big, like, it's just a present. No, no, no. You still... If you were to gift... Oh, for me to gift? Oh, I would say... I don't really do Christmas presents apart from anyone outside my family. Like me and Hols never do Christmas presents. We might get... Like, we actually, we do.

We say we don't and then we're like on, like, as we drive home, we're like, I got you a little something to put under the tree. But it's like tiny and like nothing. So yeah, I would say that I would go bigger for birthdays than I would for Christmas. That makes sense. Oh yeah. Like we won't really do Christmas presents. Yeah true.

Do you know what I mean? It's too much stuff. I was thinking what would I actually give you that everything that I would give you I already have and you already have. I could get you like, I don't know, some toothpaste or something. Savage. Some Corsadil mouthwash. Absolutely. No, because it stains your teeth, you can't use Corsadil. Girls don't use Corsadil. So I won't know, some toothpaste or something. Sorry. Savage. Some Corsadil mouthwash. Absolutely. No, because it stains your teeth.

You can't use Corsadil. Girls don't use Corsadil. Sorry, I won't be giving her that. No Corsadil. What would I get you if I was going to get you one thing under £10? Oh, under £10. Good. We're going low.

A dash can. Yes. Six pack of dash. Six pack of dash. Ho, ho, ho. Question of the week. Oh, this is brilliant. Okay, would you tell someone if you didn't like the gift they got you?

Yes. You would, yes. Of course. So there's yes, I'd ask for the receipt or no, I'd lie and say I love it. Guess, guess what the galleys said. Everyone would say I lie. 94% said no. No, you wouldn't tell them.

It's nine, so I love it. Six percent. Guys, you've got to find your words. Sorry, only 16 people said yes, I'd ask for the receipt. I would point blank. You're in a minority. I know, because. I would never, I would always say,

oh my God, that's so lovely, thank you. Because if you think I'd like it, then thanks. But you're wrong. Ha ha ha. Next it, then thanks. But you're wrong. Next time, do better. Okay, I think it depends on the person because, like, if raw or if you or my mom or someone like that I could say, I think that's f**k ugly too. Babe!

I would say, I wouldn't say that, but I would say... You wouldn't say that because that is cruel. I do think it's for me. That's cruel. It's so cruel. It is. If someone's gone to the deads to get you something that they really thought you'd like. But I always think, would you not rather give me something that I'm actually going to use?

Because otherwise it's going to sit in my drawer, collect dust for the next 10 years, and then I'm going to give it to the charity shop. I think it's so much worse to lie and say, I love it and never use it. And then when they ask you, oh my God, how was that jumper? You never wear that jumper that I got you. And you want to say, yeah, because it's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. It's like when you only put it on when you see it. Yeah.

It's bad. Should we practice saying a response? I've got a good one. Go on. I would be like... Straight away as you open it. No, no, no. Maybe like the day after.

I just said a text. Yeah. I'm not good at masking though. I know. So like in the moment I'm like good at masking those like My god, she's so bad last night it was so bad we went to this event I actually like cringe so much. I just walk away from her. I can't even be near it I don't think it was that you didn't hear yourself. What did I say? Babe, you were doing this to her and then going to me.

What happened? It was so bad. It's the worst you've ever done. Sorry, you're on crack if you think that was bad. Sorry, this girl. OK, well. It was so bad. Jo Vags's moist launch. And this girl comes up and is like, Ali. And she goes like this, looks at her like this. She goes, hi.

Looks to me and goes, no idea. And then she goes back to her, oh my god, how are you? Looks again to me, because she's so pissed. I just had to joke. So then she's looking to me, she's going. Then I said to Joe, who the fuck is that? He was like, he didn't know either, to be fair. He was like management.

Oh, she works for management. Music label, I don't know. Hilarious. And then she came up to me on top. No, yeah, you're not a good masker, to be fair. You're good at many things, but masking is not one of them. No, no, I can't do it. It's just fucking...

I would have responded, you don't remember me, do you? Yes, that's what she should have done, because she knew. Her face, it was horribly uncomfortable, because she knew Al didn't know who she was, because Al was being so obvious, because she'd had a drink. But babe, what are you to do? I don't know who she is. What would you have liked me to have done? Well, probably not like a side as if you're in like a Machiavellian play

and look to me and be like, eee, don't know. Probably not done that, I don't know. No, the dream is... The drinks are so strong. The dream is to mask better and manoeuvre through the conversation very elusively until you figure out who they are.

That's my normal tactic. But what if pretend? Yeah. Why can't I? Oh my God. You did pretend. You know, I should have said, no, but it's awkward to say. You should have said, I'm so sorry I can't place you.

Oh, that's a good one. That's a good line. My mom says that. She's really good at that. Oh my God, I'm so sorry I can't place you. Where do I know you from? My god, remind me where we met again. Because she knew, because then on the dance floor she was like,

I last saw you at X. And I was like, oh, and then it like, yeah. And then it clocked. Also, it might have clocked quicker if you hadn't had so many spicy margaritas. Also, the point is, I'm really good with faces, so it really throws me off. No, I know. Al actually is incredible with it. Like, she won't forget a face. It really throws me off when I don't know someone. I know, and you really didn't know.

And I didn't know, and then I actually don't know what to do with myself, because I'm like, I even know fucking clearly who you are. And they're so friendly, and I'm like, oh. Makes you feel bad, doesn't it? But she should have said... Yeah, a better way is if you just go lol, haha, you don't know who I am. She would have said, like, do you not remember me? Yeah.

I feel like you guys are the type of people you can do that with, like, oh, you silly bitch. Yeah, yeah, oh yeah, you're safe to do it. But we should probably do it and be like, I'm being such a silly drunk bitch, but I cannot place you. Hi! Is that, yeah, bless you. And I hugged her and she was there and I was like...

She was like... And I was like this, bright red, like oh my fucking god. And I couldn't even help because I was like I know I don't know her, so you know her from outside somewhere. I don't know, I can't even help. So I'm going to step over here where I don't feel uncomfortable. Maybe on Christmas day, don't go, oh my god I love it! Yeah, this is another thing, like if you really don't, I've done it before and actually I do struggle to mask too.

I'll never forget when my ex bought me this great... Sorry. It's in the fucking incinerator, don't worry about it. It is actually in the bin. Not because, because I keep getting told off for keeping sentimental shit. So I don't know if I throw it away or just put it somewhere anyway. Was it expensive? Yeah, it was like a couple of hundred quid I think.

Yeah, I should have done really. But I don't really wear bracelets, like really. Like I've got this because we got hashtag, if you did it to be honest. And it's welded on me, I can't get it off. And yeah, he got me this bracelet and I couldn't like not love it. But the sentiment behind it was so special that I wore it. I did that first Christmas. Yeah, you told him?

Yeah, he brought me these ugly earrings. I told you this about Monica Vanada. And like Monica Vanada is beautiful. He put the only ugly thing in there. How have you managed to pick something ugly from Monica Vanada? Because he went with was. He was like, yeah, I went shopping and I don't know why you thought that would go well. And I opened it and I pretended for about 30 seconds and I was like, would you mind if we went and like had it, because he had said, if you don't like it, we can go and change. But there's your opening guys, if you get that.

Yeah, if you get that, you say, oh, maybe that would be nice for you to go together and just check. Yeah, I said it would be nice. Because there might be something better. And I think it's more special if we pick something together. Really good babe, well done. Manipulation is key. But I've also had it the other way, I can't name who because this is actually a family member

of mine, and they've given me something and I've hated it. And I was like, oh, I love it. The words really get stuck in my throat. She can't even say it, I learned that. And then the next day I text being like, do you have the receipt? Cause I wanted to see if there are any other colors. Oh, yeah.

And she was like, oh, no, I don't have the... Anyway, then I got lumped with it and it's fine. I still have it. But, you know, you can ask once and if they're weird, you just have to pull it quick. And also, it's a gift. So you didn't buy it yourself. You didn't have it before.

You have it now. Do you know what I mean? Like, if you get stuck with it, you get stuck with it. It is what it is. Go and pawn it. Just put it on eBay. Vintage. Yeah. Happy Christmas, kids. It is what it is. Go and pawn it. Just put it on eBay. Vintage.

Yeah. Happy Christmas, kids. Ho, ho, ho. Merry and bright. Have a good one. Love you all. Happy Christmas. Good.

Bye. Bye. Thanks for watching!