Leave A Message with Ally & G - 47 - The Girl He Tells You Not To Worry About? Be Worried!

Episode Date: January 22, 2025

Happy Wednesday! Ally & G are here with an all-new episode of Leave A Message - and this week, it's full of friction (and not the good kind). It's hard enough to find a place to live in a place like London... but is it worth going on the hunt for new digs if the couple your living with... gets messy? Less Homes Under The Hammer, more Help My Housemate Is Cheating On My Other Housemate! That's a house (and relationship) in need for some serious Extreme Makeover! Plus: Can women and men just be friends? Well, the boundaries are being tested when the person your partner told you not to worry about... yes, say it after us, actually had feelings for your partner the whole time! To confront or not to confront? That is the question. We're only a few weeks into 2025 and our phone line is already bursting at the seams... it feels like we might need an IRL soon to sort through the mess? Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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I think that was the coolest way to do it. So the reason I like them is because this is not a reason to like them, but I like the fact that he's shorter than her. I know. You never see that. You never see it. And she's like so, I honestly think she's so cool. Yeah, she's the coolest.

And like so de-gaffed. Yeah. In every respect. And I just think like dating a man shorter than you is like so... The epitome of that. Yeah. Yeah. What is de-gaffed?

Are you joking? Don't give a fuck. Sorry, I abbreviate, but I don't abbreviate so that exactly. No, I know. And I didn't actually... The first time you said that, I did have to think because you know when someone says it, but it's not written down. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

When you say ditto, I'm like, sorry. No, there was one as well. It was like, fffs. When people were at FFS, I thought they were saying fffs. Like, fffs. Well, you didn't think it was for fuck's sake. I fully, I fully. You need help.

What do you mean? I just thought it was like fssss. Like a sound effect rolling your eyes. Yes, yes, exactly. Yes. Babe, that is too good. You are nuts. Yes, epic. Do you know the other incredible engagement announcement? Holly Morris. Like, sick.

Her announcement will go down in history. It was epic. And also the fact that, like, I don't know, like, we know that her boyfriend isn't necessarily, like, you know. Instagram friendly. He's not, like, rushing to be in front of the camera, is he? Oh, but he's so lovely. How epic. The ring's amazing as well. No, her announcement was too good. It was so good. I do like the whole like doing it kind of like afterwards.

Look, it's like quite obvious, quite predictable to show the pictures of the actual moment. Yeah. What can we do afterwards? What can we do to... How can we surprise our audience? Zendaya just rocked up wearing the ring. So true. Epic. Very, very cool. Holly Morris, news bulletin about the fact that she is no longer available

for all of those men pining after her. Brilliant. Also, Dua Lipa. Yeah. Just walking around casually with the ring on a finger. We don't know. But we think we think yes. I think they're quite good match looks wise. Yeah, they look really good together. It's really funny, though, when you see. I don't know. I can't. I'm trying to think of a couple that like,

you know, when you see them and you think, oh I know, Brenda Song and Macaulay Culkin. So yeah. Also, why is Brenda Song having a moment? What's happened? Is she? I've seen her everywhere. Is that just me and my algorithm? She's in Sweet Life with Zack and Cody. I know, but I wondered whether she was doing something now. Oh, I do know.

She was on the cover of something. Yes, I've seen it. I don't know why she's having a moment. Shall we Google? Yeah. Can we also talk about, I mean, this is like a bit sad, obviously, because all of the fires in LA, but Heidi Montag from The Hills. Yeah, and Spencer Pratt. She's like number one on iTunes.

Yeah, because she's done that so she could rebuild her house. It's incredible. I know. Marketing tool for them. Like also, I know it's like, don't get me wrong, it's like horrifically, it's all like tragic. I can't even. The pictures are like honestly heartbreaking.

Like I can't even. Yeah. My heart just like aches. But his video was actually really fucking funny. I know. And did you see when he came out with the bag of stuff and just that pot and he's like, I saw this video the other day. It's horrible.

But obviously, like humor is the best way to deal with tragic events, as we've all learned. This guy goes back to their house. Literally, they are in rubble. Like it's you can't even comprehend how devastating that is. And he just picks up from the rubble a Stanley Cup. And that is what has survived. And I was like, sorry to make a TikTok out of that. That's actually brilliant. And there was this other guy that make a TikTok out of that, that's actually brilliant.

And there was this other guy that was like standing on the side of the highway while his house literally burns behind him and the sound he was using, yeah, we gotta let it burn. It's so dark to laugh like that, but you can actually get through anything with laughter. If you've faced that and you've managed to make a joke out of it, you are quits in for any of that trauma that's coming your way. Wow. How do you recycle a Stanley Cup? No, never, apparently. Stanley should get that on the billboards, to be honest with you. Yes, Stanley will live whilst everything else just burns to a crisp. Stanley will be there and your water will probably still be cool. That's amazing.

Like you know how back in the day people used to put things in bottles and like let them flow out to sea? Yes. Stanley cup is the new bottle. Oh, we could use Stanley as a time capsule. I did get a Stanley for Christmas. I have to say it's changed my life. Brilliant.

Yeah. I've got a fake Stanley that I love and I won't bother. I don't think. But maybe now I will actually now I know it's so fireproof. Just in case. It's so cold. That's what I like about it. So cold. So cold.

Oh, I love cold water. So I must tell you, so go on. No, no, go on. I was just going to tell you. No, please, go on. I forgot to tell you last week that, what is her name? Oh, I didn't send you the picture. Sorry, that has just literally blown my mind.

You've just said 55 things in two seconds. What do you mean? Whose name? Someone on our video commented. These comments made me hell. Is it about me looking like Jamie Lang? Because I'm actually about to retire. You do not look like Jamie Lang.

Thank you. There's a lot of Jamie Lang comments. You fuckers, all of you. When did this happen? Babe, the only, someone asked me the other day, do you get hate? And I said, yes, I do. I get a hate daily about the fact that,

no offence, Jamie, you're a good looking boy, but I'm not a boy. And I don't want to look like you. I don't really want to look like you. No, babe, someone... By the way, if you're going to be captain of Instagram DMs, I can be captain of the TikTok comments. Deal. Okay, because I love them. I live for them. I hate them.

And they are... And someone today was like, on the video of us, like the friendship, the soulmates one, someone was like, gee, you give me such energy of Jack Whitehall's mom. I've had that before. Really? Hilary Whitehall. I look like a young Hilary Whitehall. No, no, no. She said look.

She said energy. Well, I've also had look. Like literally, I've had you look like a young. Thank God they said young because God love Hilary. She is in her fifties. Hilary Whitehall. She's older than 50, babe. No, no, no, because they've got a huge age gap.

Hilary and what's his name? Can't remember. What's it. No, no, no, because they've got a huge age gap. Hillary and what's his name? Can't remember. What's it? Oh, the old one. Yeah. But anyway, Hillary Whitehall, I always want to say Hillary Clinton, but Hillary Whitehall is a good looking woman. So I will take it. I take Hillary Whitehall over Jamie Lang. Fucked. You're fucked. Actually, we'll stop leaving the house because of you. I get a lot of them. No, you don't. You're fucked. Actually, we'll stop leaving the house because of you. I get a lot of... No, you don't. You get nothing. No, babe. I got some holiday hate. Did you see that?

What's the holiday hate? G never goes anywhere. Let's start a GoFundMe for G to be happy. That's nothing to do with how you look. Yeah, the GoFundMe. I'm a charity case that looks like Jamie Lang. It's actually not cool, guys. That's brilliant. It's not the brand I'm going for. Like, and you've just tarnished me with that brush.

What's Ali like the golden goddess that gets to go on holiday? The golden goddess. Charity King. It's just jarring. Is that hate at all? It's not hate. You never get hate. I think people are too scared. Oh, I get a lot of, she's a cow hate actually.

I'm going to start a hate campaign against you actually. I just think it's a mere campaign. I get a lot of cow hate. Really? Yeah. No, you don't. I think people are too scared. She's a cow hate. I'm going to start a hate campaign against you. I just think it's a mere campaign. I get a lot of cow hate.

Really? No you don't. I've never seen any of those. Me too. She makes it up just because she likes the... You like the brand of being a cow, but you never get that hate. Sometimes I do get the odd comment. Only when you like steal my gifting.

No. On that gifting video, everyone's like, Ali, like, give her the... You get everything. But again, charity case. It's not good. Like, it's not like good for me. It's good because they're taking sympathy on you. I do not want to be.

Oh, she doesn't want your pity guy. I don't want to be the pity party side of this relationship. I think it's sad for me. Poor lonely single Jamie Lang without any gifting. Well, you'll have a lovely go fund. Yeah, maybe I should just start. Now she's got a lovely Amica hot brush so I wouldn't speak too soon babe, it's actually working out for you. True.

Anyway. Whatever. Anyway, welcome to the pod. Welcome. This is Leave a Message with Ali and G. I'm Ali, she's G. Hi. I'm the sad lonely one that looks like Jamie Lang and that's the golden goddess over there that's always on holiday. Yeah, yeah.

I've got hair, she's got no hair. That's mainly the difference between us. Yeah, we get that a lot. I like my bob, okay? And maybe I'll go shorter just to really hone in on the Jamie Lang. No, babe, a lot. Okay, I'll tell you what you do get is attention from the ladies that I've never had once in my life. I know.

Thanks, girls. That really bothers you, doesn't it? Yeah, it's like she's desperate to be like, well, I just think, would one of you not chat me a fucking message? The gay boys love you, babe. Don't worry. You're like a queer queen. YGMs are so empty. It's just pervs texting me going, I love you. Or what I would do, like, Owl gets the the sugar daddies, I take one of them on. Babe, Ali and G Limited, they've got a lot.

I'm going to say yes to that guy with the four grand a week, because I just think if it comes, it comes. And like, I don't care. I actually like my morals are out the window. Me too, 100%. I like, I want to just do fun things this year. And I just think if you want to give me four grand a week for existing, then good on you. Also, I would send you pictures of my feet, no problem.

Everyone's got this weird thing about why would I sell pictures of my feet? Why would you not sell pictures of your feet? I mean, I'd have to have someone with a fungal foot fetish, like a fungal toe now fetish. Might be hard to find. Maybe I could only do the right foot. My right foot is so clean. Yeah. It's just the left.

Just put the hairs on the big toe. My hairs are so long on my toes at the moment. I don't know what is going on. Can't be asked to bend down. Do you shave them? Yeah. I do. Do you? Do you not? The hairs on the big toe, my hairs are so long on my toes at the moment, I don't know what is going on. Can't be asked to bend down. Do you shave them? Yeah. I do.

Do you? Do you not? I'm doing the leg, I might as well go down to the toes. I normally wax them but I would always like to wax them. Wax your toes? Yeah. You asked the lady to wax your toes. No, now I have them lasered but before I would wax them.

You have your toes lasered. That's my big one. You need help. I have a lot of hair on my big toes. Do they charge you extra for that, the little laser toe? No, no. She just does it for free. No, no, because I have it, I just paint.

For full bod is it? Head to toe. Head to toe. Brow, bush, toe. Everything. Legs, arms, everything. Moustache. I'm very hairy.

You're not. So am I. I am. When I was younger, my hair is so thick down there, you don't want to see it. Have we introduced the podcast? No, we got halfway and I started complaining. This is it. Shut the fuck up.

You were actually complaining about the fact that everyone says you look like Jamie, right? No, that's what I mean. That's why we got halfway because I started complaining. Oh, right. I'm aggressive. Shut the fuck up. Okay, got it. Will do. Aggressive. Shut the fuck up. OK, got it.

Will do. It's not as good the podcast when I'm silent, but go for it. Seriously, we do need to introduce ourselves. OK, sorry, sorry. This is Leave a Message. I'm Ali, she's G. We're Ali and G. We love your voice notes. This is a podcast for the galleys by the galleys. Every week we get your voice notes and we like have a lol. Sometimes they're not very lol actually.

Sometimes they're quite serious. Sometimes they're so very lol actually, sometimes they're quite serious. Sometimes they're so serious and I feel so under qualified to conversate on them. We've got empty whiteboards in the hope that we'll get some kind of brainwave coming to us. Yeah, some kind of streak of genius. And this week the galleys are called... Jamie. Hey Ali, hey G. I love your podcast so much. It's literally been getting me through exam season and now I've broken up so I thought I'd actually give something back to the community.

I have such an awkward situation that I just do not know how to deal with and I would appreciate any advice that you could give. I moved into uni and it's my third year and I'm living with a couple and they were going fine. Let's call them Porgia and Pussy. It was going fine. They'd have the oddest agreement here and there, but obviously that's what all couples do. And then November time or October, I come back to the house after coming back from the pub and poorja is literally in tears and she's told me that pussy has confessed to like cheating on her and can i just add that they've been in a relationship for three years but it gets worse basically pussy has cheated with her university lecturer who is 39, was straight and had a

fiance and a child. So it's kind of wild. Anyway, if that doesn't complicate the situation enough, Pussy owns the house that we live in. So like she's a landlord at uni. So it's just so complicated. They're always arguing. It's so annoying. But I don't know what to do because morally, I think what Pussys done is awful. But it's just so awkward to live with because they both live with us. And it's only a house of three. So there's like no other buffer either. I'm just defining myself never being home. But yeah, it's kind of wild. Thank you. Love you. Sorry, Jamie, one love you, but that is wild.

Love you so much. Correct analysis of the situation. Wild. So, Paudra and Poussi, I'm assuming are girls, assuming, sorry. And Poussi has cheated with her university lecturer. Not only is she cheating, but she's also cheating with a straight man that has a fiancé and a child. We don't know if the person's a man. We don't know if he's a man.

She could be a lady. Oh yeah, true. Sorry, I thought that's what made it even more wild, like, extra level of deceit, is that you're going to go and decide to be straight for a night. Annoying. Jesus. Wow, there is a lot to unpack. Okay, let's focus in on Jamie 1, because what's Jamie 1 going to do?

If it were me, I'd move out. I think I'd say to the girls like, what's going on here? Like are you staying together? Because this environment is toxic. I need to make the most out of my rent. Yeah, and also like I enjoy the price that the rent is, Pussy, because obviously you own the flat,

big daddy, thank you. But I feel like you would just have to be like, this isn't right guys, no one's happy. I don't think you should move out. You think you could stay? I don't know. I think the cheater needs to leave. She owns the house! She owns the house, babe.

Oh shit, yeah, sorry, I forgot. Pussy, sell up! Sell up! Oh no, listen, I think... Give us the house. Yeah, give us the house. If you can dig your heels in and get through three months of it, maybe they'll work it out, but...

I hate a bad living environment. I was about to say, I don't know that you can... It's not good for your M.H. to be in a toxic environment like that. It's really not. And also, like, you have to keep your, it's really hard, because I've been talking about this recently, like, living with couples and stuff, because obviously, as you know, the climate in which we live in, and it makes it really hard to buy and like, you know,

regeneration rent, all of that stuff, kind of makes sense when people, as we get older into our 20s, people start coupling off to kind of share, share to still like stay together and to split the rent like three way that's way easier than two obviously. But I think you have to if you're going to live with a couple I've never done it so I'm just speaking like you know from what I can imagine. I think you have to be able to have a chain of conversation in every triangle point. So it can't just be that like you only speak with pussy candidly and you don't really feel comfortable with poja or like vice versa. Like if I moved in with you and raw, I would also be able to like, I would have to be able to have like, conversations with raw that like are irrelevant of our friendship.

Do you know what I mean? Because that is what living together is. You have to be able to say, really getting on my tears, that you leave your washing up out, and I need to talk to you about that. And then I think it works. But if you're currently in an environment where you feel like you can't talk about

how bad it is between them, because they're kind of trying to carry on and pretend like it's normal, you are piggy in the middle, and that is horrible. The thing is, if it doesn't resolve itself and they break up, then what? Then what?

Surely, Porgia's going to move out. She might. It really depends on the rental situation. If she can afford to, maybe she will. But if she can't. If she's living under Pussy's roof, she might just forgive her for her infidelity. It goes back to this, right?

I genuinely think there should be some kind of fine for cheating. I really do. Okay, I'm going to say something really controversial here. Cheating's fine. No, not cheating's fine. There is a scale, I do believe. I'm not saying what she did was okay. I just want to make that abundantly clear.

I'm not saying like, you know, go forth and snog everyone. What's Alimakak sliding scale then depending on the action or the circumstance. I think like penetration is different to snogging someone. True. If rule went out, right, listen. No way. I'm not saying, oh, right. I'm talking about, we've been together a long time now, right? So like, I've got a lot to lose. True. So let's say hypothetically, he goes out and he snogs someone on a night out and he's off his tits and la la la and he's so sorry and he grovels and blah blah blah. I'm not, listen, I'm not letting him fucking crawl back in my bed.

I am highly, I'm more likely to forgive him for that and actually try again second chance than if he went out and shagged someone. That is shocking. I know, no, of course it is. No, listen, I know. I know, but I just think like, there is such intent with sex. I disagree.

I think to go home with somebody and actively take your clothes off and get into bed with them, you know what you're doing. I'm not saying you don't know what you're doing when you snog someone. I just think like, it's up to... Listen, this is all very personal and I'm speaking as someone that's in a long term relationship that I can imagine myself if that happened, I reckon I'd give him a chance.

But I think that might be less about the act that's happened. So less about how you actually feel about whether he snogged someone or the intent of taking your clothes off and shagging them, and potentially more about A, the amount of time you've been together and as you say what you've got to lose, and B, the perception of snogging versus sex generally, because I think people are more quick to forgive if they think that they can speak away externally to their relationship. And I think that we all like kind of universally have decided that like sex is worth worse than snogging. But I'm like, it's still an action. Oh, of course, infidelity. Of course, same with like the texting or the Instagram DM sliding. I'm like,

for me, like the same thing is all the same action. But my point is... You've chosen to do something outside of the remit of our relationship. But I'm just... Would you not? Yeah, yeah, yeah, listen. I'd probably, like, in a certain situation, I can imagine myself excusing it all. I have no judgement for people taking people back. But I don't think it's because it's the snog or the sex.

I think it's... I don't think it's about that. I don't know, to me sex is so like... I think a text, but like what if we're always having a fucking like emotional affair with someone at work. Okay, yeah, that's different. It is different, but also it's all the same. It's all intent and it's all cheating.

I don't know why to me, I don't like, yeah, no, you're right. It is, it's all the same. It is all cheating, I just think like... It's what hurts you, I guess, and what you... And also like how much you want to stay with them. So then you'll probably excuse anything if you want to stay with them. And how much you realistically think you can trust them again. Yeah.

Because I think that is like a huge part of it. Is that like, there are just some people that you just know you can't trust them. Yeah. And listen, you have no proof of that sometimes. It's just a feeling. You just think you are slimy. I can't trust them. Yeah. And listen, you have no proof of that sometimes. It's just a feeling. You just think you are slimy. I can't trust you. You're slippery. Sorry, Jamie, we've gone off you. You're in a pickle. Get on spare room. I think, yeah.

I actually would maybe look to move out. Although it's really hard, isn't it? Because actually, devil's advocate, you're in third year, you're going to have your head down, you're going to be in the library. like, suck it up, you might need to just go home and sleep. And maybe actually, it's kind of nice in a weird way to have a house that you don't want to hang out in. So you work harder and you do better on your exams. I had that a bit in third year. It's not the same like the

cheating situation. But like, I didn't love my house. And like, I wasn't like racing home every day. But it was good in the sense that it made me go to my friend's house all the time. It made me go to the library. It made me get up and go to the gym. Yeah. I was desperate to leave. Maybe it's low key kind of an act of self care to have a house you don't want to go back to.

Very good reframing. I think maybe. I don't know. But third year, I'd say different if it was your first year. I'd be like, get out, live your life. Also, third year is so fast. You do your exams and you're out of there in May. That's the thing. And you've got the longest summer and then you'll be gone. Yeah. It's actually not a bad shout. But I would maybe say, girls, I just like, I don't know how close you are

and whether you can have a house meeting, but I might say, like, when it's really bad, if you could just retreat to your room, because I feel uncomfortable being a part of that conversation. It's not my place. So So close the door. Thank you. Have your arguments in your bedroom. Yeah. Yeah. I think so. I agree. Calling all sellers. Salesforce is hiring account executives to join us on the cutting edge of technology. Here, innovation isn't a buzzword, it's a way of life.

You'll be solving customer challenges faster with agents, winning with purpose, and showing the world what AI was meant to be. Let's create the agent-first future together. Head to salesforce.com slash careers to learn more. Fresh careers to learn more. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave A Message. If you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description.

Now this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think, girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Should I voice note number two? Alright, so I kind of need some advice. In first year of uni, I made friends with this guy on my course.

It's kind of a long story, but he has a girlfriend and she didn't like us being friends, even though we were genuinely just friends. She accused him of cheating on her with me, but obviously that never happened. And it's a very on-off relationship. They break up a lot, they get back together a lot. It's crazy actually. Anyway, but also my friends have said that he's done things that they think are flirting, but we're just friends and it was fine. And then I got in a relationship at the beginning of second year uni this year. I was like, I don't know if this friendship is normal. Especially in second year, in the past few months, he's been a lot more flirty.

So I was like, you know what, I'm going to step away. I just didn't think it was appropriate. Then on Christmas Eve, he messaged me and he said, happy Christmas darling, which immediately is weird as fuck. Yeah. We just had some small talk because like I said, I Christmas, darling, which immediately is weird as fuck. Yeah. And we had some small talk because, like I said, I stepped away from the friendship. So we hadn't spoken for a month or two at this point. So we're just kind of catching up.

And I was kind of ending the conversation being like, have a good one. And he was like, my one regret is not making an effort with you. And I was really confused. I was like, what do you mean? What do you mean? He was like, I think about you all the time. Anyway, this turned into this whole conversation about his feelings. He was like, we're both relationships. I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you want to hear. I was like, oh my God,

what the hell? And I was like, you know, we can't be friends. Like, we cannot be friends if this is how you feel. And he was like, I know, like, I know that there's definitely a universe out there where we ended up together. I was like, oh my God, shut like, shut up. I ended the conversation. I was like, we can't be friends now. Hope we can be friends one day. And that's kind of where we're at. The advice I need is whether I should tell his girlfriend. I think I know it's morally right, but I feel like I don't want to do it to make me feel better. I want to do it because I'm benefiting her. But I also know that it will destroy her life. But also, I think he's done something like this before. Don't know, not confirmed, but I think know that it will destroy her life but also I think he's done something like this before don't know not confirmed but I think he might have

cheated on her or something before so I don't know if it will make much of a difference I don't you know he's dead to me so not sure what to do please let me know Wow babe oh goodness me so just like straight off the bat my initial gut reaction I don't think the girlfriend needs to know that he's now made in advance well because they've broken up haven't they or they still together off the bat my initial gut reaction. I don't think the girlfriend needs to know that he's now made in advance. Really? Well, because they've broken up, haven't they? Are they still together? No, I think they're still together.

Oh, shit, they're still together. They're on off, on off, on off. Oh, sorry, they're on. Oh, that changes everything. I thought they were off, but the switch is on. Ah. Ah. Okay, hold on a second. I just want to make the point, actually, and I know it's early January, but come back and listen in December. Why the fuck does everyone think that Christmas is a good time to be sending these kinds of messages?

I think because you're watching a lot of romcom. Stop watching them. It's fake news. I think when you're watching Hugh Grant and Colin Firth and fucking Jack Black, shoot their shots. You just think you can too? I strongly advise against, really, I think it's too much. You just want to turn your phone off and fucking have a sausage roll. Do you know what I mean? Why are you sending me these messages? I know, but then if there's a declaration from someone you want it from,

it's kind of like quite endearing and sweet that it's cold outside, I guess. And they've thought about you at Christmas. Is it? I don't know. What does she say? Stacy, in Love Actually, she's obviously not called Stacey, Joanna, what's her name? Joanna Page. And she says, if you can't say it at Christmas, when can you? And that is the truth, babe. I don't know.

I just think, like, is it necessary for you to be texting me? It is though, because listen, this is the real, like, thing about winter. Okay, we're going to get some info on winter here now. As a single person, winter is the only time a relationship looks better than your single life. In summer, you won't catch me declaring any sort of anything to anyone. It's hot. I'm out and about. I've got a tan. I'm living a good life. In winter, all I want is to be in love. All I want is a declaration of love to give it or receive it. In summer, all I want is to be in love. All I want is a declaration of love to give it or receive it. In summer, I'm not doing that. And that's why people do it at Christmas. Oh, it's so hard because it also just like hammers home the fact that like, you know,

heterosexual men and women really struggle to be platonic. And that's so jarring because it's like you should be able to have a friendship with him. Okay, I yes and no because like she obviously Yeah, she doesn't reciprocate anything. I was talking about men mainly I just wanted to make it a bit more even. No because I genuinely don't believe that and I find it sad that like I don't believe it always but like I do believe I really really really do believe that men and women who are in the same headspace can genuinely just be friends. Agreed.

Like in all, I completely... Yeah, but it's so key in the same headspace. Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. And I do believe that like people switch headspaces. And I think that comes from like a familiarity with someone. Like what do you actually want from a partner? You kind of want someone that you get on with and that you find attractive.

If you suddenly... You don't have to like find your friend attractive. No, but if you suddenly started to, why would you not shift headspace? I think usually you start to feel attracted to them because there's something that you're lacking in other parts of your romantic life. I just think it's like possible.

It's like if you left like, you know, like two people on an island together for long enough. I just think that's what might happen sometimes. But the point is that they're not on an island. They've got a whole fucking world of eight billion people. And also, you've got a girlfriend so grow up. Like it's jarring to shoot your shot everywhere. Don't get me wrong. He's completely in the wrong. And he should not have said that to her. Unless he genuinely does believe that she is the love of his life, then he had to say. But you've got to break up with your girlfriend first.

Yeah, I'm not that cross at him saying it. No. I'm cross he's done it at Christmas because I just think he's got to pick it up. It's just boring. It's just tacky. Yeah. But I think, yeah, shoot your shot, you have one life. If that's how you feel, you should say it.

But you've got to shoot your shot when you're single. Correct. You can't be doing that and having a girl that you're on. I mean, that is just toxic. And also it's toxic, isn't it? Because he's kind of seen her in a relationship and now he's gone, I like you. Yeah. I think if it were me, it depends how good, does she say how good friends she is with

the girl? I don't think she is good friends with her, is she? No. Oh, it's going to ruin her life, but then her life needs to be ruined because she shouldn't be with this wrong one, maybe. I would say it. Because the worst thing that can happen is that it someway, somehow comes out that he texted you that and you didn't tell her, because then that actually makes you look...

I would want to know if my boyfriend had done that to one of his friends, especially a friend that I had been gaslit out of believing that he fancied. Million percent. So yeah, I think you actually have to tell her. I think you have to tell her. Oh my God, you're right. 100%. Sorry, babe.

Because also, like, as you've said, he's dead to you, so you don't really care about the fallout anyway. Also, it is up to her. Like she can see those texts and still decide to be with him. That is so fine if that's her line, as we said earlier. Like if that's fine for her and he got it out of his system and he writes it away as just a weird Christmas flirt, fine. You've created your boundaries, so you're good.

Like, you don't want to be his friend anymore. You don't feel comfortable with that. That's fine. I think you should say it. I really do. Yeah. And I think you have to just like almost if you can, what would you say? Well, I would just be really like...

I just read pure facts. I would definitely make it clear that I feel uncomfortable by receiving this text. Yeah. And I didn't know what to do with it. But if it were me, I would want to know. And I just screenshot it. Yeah. And then I say nothing else might drop aeroplane mode.

Oh, zeebs. Ghost mode. Yeah. No questions. I'm not taking questions from the press today, actually. Yeah. There's actually the floor is not open for Q&A. Yeah. I've screen-shotted it.

You've seen all I know. You've got everything I know. Yeah. If she wants a little... Don't be sending if you want to see more. No coffee. No chatty coffee. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

No, no, no. In and out. It's in and out. It's just here. I just wanted you to know so that you have all the facts you need to do whatever you do with him. Round up. Round up! Round up. Number one. Good luck in your exams, Jamie, number one, first of all, because tough out there.

Right, first step, you're going to sit Pussy and Porgia down and you're going to say, listen, girls, what's going on between you is going on between you. I'm here, and I'm feeling uncomfortable. So could you just be mindful of the fact I'm here? And I am not the third wheel in your relationship, even though I live here, so I need you to do that. And I'm going to really get my head down, and I'm going to get a first.

And it might be the thing that saves you, babe, okay? Brilliant. And Jamie number two, I think we've agreed that you're going to tell her and you've got to be in and out drive through. Facts, facts. No questions asked. Make your choice as you see fit. I'm not trying to sabotage you. I'm just trying to tell you what's what and I would want to know if it were me. There it is.

He said to me, We're not friends anymore. Yeah, you can make that clear. Just so you know, I now see what you meant about him being inappropriate. Therefore, I will not be his friend anymore. He crossed the line. I can guarantee you she's not going to care. She's going to take him back. But all you can do is try. Yeah. And I actually know what you mean.

You know, when you're worried because I do this a lot where you're doing something for you, not for them. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I think with this one, the only reason I think it's like a kind of 100% that you should is because she had suspicions and they were like dismissed. And it's like, actually, no, your suspicions were right. And she should be able to stand strong in that. Yeah. I know that her gut was right. Yes. Do you know what I mean? Because otherwise you start to mistrust your gut and that's dodgy behavior. Great. Love you all. Thank you so much for listening. Please,

Dodgy behavior. Great. Love you all. Thank you so much for listening. Please, please subscribe. Subscribe but also everyone always says, oh, if you enjoy this podcast, the way that you can thank us is to subscribe. If you don't want to subscribe, you can also send voice notes. I feel like that can be your repayment.

I really do both. I don't know. I don't think it's either or situation. I do both. But if you're like tired and you only want to do one and just do either, that's all I'm saying. It's another repayment method is voice notes to Rahana. Yeah, we need a lot of voice notes That's all I'm saying. It's another repayment method, is voice notes too hard? Yeah, we need a lot of voice notes, guys.

It's fresh, it's New Year. It's New Year, new energy. And stop calling. Sorry. Really, they're calling? Yeah, there was one time I forgot to turn the phone off and then I was awoken in the night by... Awoken in the night?

Guys, it's because you're having like epiphanies of things you need to say and then you're just calling. Oh, you must voice note me. Stick to voice notes, guys. We can't do it. Stop texting, I can't read well. Okay, yeah. No texting, just voice notes.

And if you really, really, really don't want your voice in it, you have to just say beneath the voice note. I want this altered and rich, you'll do this magic, okay? You'll sound like a robot and no one will notice you. Yeah. Epic! Love you all, thanks so much, see you next week.

Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Bye! Thanks for watching!