Leave A Message with Ally & G - 49 - Have An Enemy In The Office? Plot Your Revenge

Episode Date: February 5, 2025

Now that we've all recovered from trying to get tickets for Leave A Message LIVE (thanks for selling that out, by the way!)... Ally & G are here to help the Gallies for another week of questionable life decisions. After we navigate a flirty GP encounter from Ally & G, this week we're tackling workplace drama. Or, more like, revenge as one Gally seeks advice on how to encourage her colleague to quit their job! Office menaces, beware... 2025 is the year that polite girls clap back! Plus - is it ever OK to bail on plans with your friends? And, does your answer change if it's to pursue a life-long dream? As one Gally thinks about ditching travel plans to become a musician, Ally & G weigh up if bailing on friends is ever the answer. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Exclusively on FanDuel Casino. Where winning is undefeated. 19 plus and physically located in Ontario. Gambling problem? Call 1-866-531-2600 or visit connectsonterio.ca. Please play responsibly. Oh my god, I've got an update on the gums. What an absolute nightmare. So my dentist at home home thinks that my dentist in London is just wrong. Scam artist.

Yeah. And so now I've got like dentist v dentist in the ring trying to tell me different things about the amount of fillings I need. But I'm going to see the periodontist. On one day. On Monday at three o'clock. So that, I don't know why anyone needed to see the periodontist on Monday at three o'clock. So that, I don't know why anyone needed to know the time. I was just telling myself, so I make sure I go.

So that is going to be serious. Guys, the other day when I was away and we were on FaceTime, obviously we share a calendar. Oh, this was so bad. Thank God. And I knew because I always get a half an hour reminder for everything. Oh, do you? I need to turn that on. I get your dentist appointment reminders half an hour before.

Oh, babe, thank you. Sorry. I've just made a real fuss and look, just to prove a point, she's filled it to the brim. I asked Al to get me a sparkling water and she didn't, then I made a fuss. And anyway, we were on FaceTime. She was tripped. You know, lardy dog going to M&S. I was like, oh, babe.

Yeah, I was just leaving the gym, I'd really taken my time at the gym, I'd had a proper stretch, la-la-la, chatting to Al. La-la-la-la-la, chatting to me, la-la-la, in her mind, la-la-la, and then I said to her, babe, why are you going to the doctor? And she was like, shit! It was in like 10 minutes, and she should've-

10 minutes, and I was the other side of the common, and I was like, fuck, babe! Oh my god, and then I'm on FaceTime running, and they're like, oh my God, babe, thank God you told me. Running like a nut job. Yes. Anyway, I had to go to the doctor. Guys, I've got a new GP and he was kind of like flirting with me.

It was crazy. Older men really magnetized toward me and I think it's because... I think it's the other way. I think you magnetized, You gravitate to it. No, no, no, no, no. I've got to look about me, I think, that I... Haggard, yeah. This is like a weird theory that I've had probably since the age of 16

because once someone's dad told me I looked like a 60s pinup and I was like, whoa, I was 16, and it was a dad. Anyway, my thing is... It was a dad. A dad. Disgusting. Keep your tongue in your mouth, dad. Anyway, I've got this theory that I think I look like a young... I don't even know how to say this, but I think I have an older energy, but I look younger. So therefore older men think I look like someone

they would have fancied when they were young. Like, that's my theory on it. Anyway, my GP, Flirty McFleurterson, and he was asking me what I did for work because I basically was complaining. Oh, I hate it when they ask you that. Well, actually, I kind of like it because it justifies my vanity because I was going in about this thing on my arm.

I did think it was cancer, but then also- It's not just to like- It's not, no, it's not, it's not, it's not. He's really happy with it. He thinks it's fine. But also I was complaining about my periorodermatitis and he was like, what do you do for work? So I was like, he's really getting me down. He thinks it's fine. But also I was complaining about my perioral dermatitis and he was like, what do you do for work? So I was like, he's really getting me down.

Like I can't go to work anymore. He was like, what do you do for work? And I was like, oh, I'm a TikToker. Then he was asking me all about it. He was absolutely loving it. But anyway, yeah, I was so late to the doctor. How old is he? I'm going to say 50s.

He was kind of hot actually. Maybe I fancy my GP. Some many of their 50s are. Very good looking. Silver Fox. Silver Fox. Oh, sorry. I always say this because of my dad's age. He doesn't seem like a dad to me.

Dad's 80. Can I tell you? I was thinking about this this morning because it came up on my Instagram that Rosie Huntington Whiteley and Jason Statham have a 20 year age difference. So Jason Statham? Yeah. No. Yes.

That's not who she's with. Yeah. Is it? She's got two Yes. That's not who she's with. Yeah. Is it? She's got two kids with him. I thought she was with a rugby player. Rosie Huntington-Wiley. The girl that does the M&S.

Yeah babe. Nickers. Yeah. Wow, well that's really throwing me sideways. Anyway, they've got- I really thought she was with a rugby player. No babe, she's with Jason Statham. How did they meet?

Must have been- Jason Statham, American. No, he's British. Is everyone okay? Hot couple. He is- Hot couple. But- Sorry, he's British. Is everyone okay? Hot couple. Hot couple. But... Sorry, he looks good for his age then.

But babe, imagine being 30 and marrying a fifth. That's what it was. 30. They were literally, maybe a bit younger. I know, my mum. 20 years is more than 16. It's 17. What's three years?

Oh yeah, true. What's three years? I mean, just come and be your parents. Disgusting. Fucking attacking my mum and dad for some reason. Don't know, mom. I know you'll be listening, so you've probably got the invite revoked for coming over.

Sorry, I didn't love you so much. Listen, age gaps are a fascinating topic for conversation. 20 years! I know. They would have been finishing their university degree and you wouldn't even have come out the womb. You can't think about it like that because it's sick in the head. Really, age gaps are dependent on when you meet, Obs. Well, it's also dependent on the age gap.

Because 18 and 38 is not a vibe. But 38 and 58, whatever. we're all adults playing here. You know? What did Luca Bisch say in Love Island? We'd all be over 25s on X Factor. Same category. Same category. So I don't know, is it that bad?

I don't know, hit replacement and like being able to like parent children are two different categories, I'd say. No, but men can parent children are two different categories, I'd say. No, but men can parent children until the age of 105. No, no, but women parenting children and men having a hit replacement could in theory happen. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. Who's getting a hit replacement at 60? Won't name names, but I do know someone. Do you? Yeah. But they had really weak cartilage. How would you know about the state of their cartilage? Who is this person that you intimately know their cartilage status?

Sorry, it wasn't their hip, it was their knee. Different ball game. Is it? Dunno. Hip makes you sound ancient, obviously. Yeah. Like, no defamation to anyone with a fake hip, because I'm sure it's given you a good quality of life.

Because it is better once you get it done. Oh yeah, you're like a new person. You might need it in your fingers for your arthritis. All right guys, I'm actually not joking. I think I've got repetitive strain injury from using my phone. Genuinely no joke. No, but guys, the other night we were watching a film

and this fucking girl, I honestly, I was about to leave the room because her candy crush addiction is offensive. Like, she literally, I was about to leave the room because her Candy Crush addiction is offensive. Like she literally, we're watching a film that just arguably is quite engaging, the new Jamie Foxx and Cameron Diaz. I was arguably engaged. Were you not engaged?

I'd give it a seven out of 10. Seven out of 10 is not playing Candy Crush for two hours. No, I've got paper. My attention span is so- No, but you've got problems. I know. Why is Candy Crush engaging to you? Because like you had, they look like sweets, yeah.

You don't even like sweets. What's happening? You need help. I would love to know you guys' screen times. Oh, you don't want to know. No, no, you don't want to know. But it's cheating because it's work. No, also, it is though, babe.

Like when we're filming and posting, that is work. No, I respect you both as business women. So defensive. It's work! When I'm on Candy Crush, it's work! No one ever, anyone's tell me anything else. Okay. But it's still like the action of like...

Oh yeah, it's still bad boots for your noggin and your eyes. Listen, if I got eight hours, I'd think, God, Min is so funny. She sent me the funniest meme that was like, your screen time is down 2% from last week. She's a wellness queen. She is present. She is evolved. She is present. She is where her feet are.

She is focusing on where she is, not where she's going. Agreed. How long? My screen time last week was a nine. I didn't even look. I don't want to know. It's depressing. Nine twenty, I'd say. Nine twenty. Are you even awake that long? Yes, babe.

I'm not sure I'm awake that long. But like, imagine... I average, I'm awake for what? Fourteen hours a day, max. Max. No. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Why is that funny? It's just the way that your mouth moves that the sound comes out. You make the face, I'll make the sound. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, Richard, you're up.

Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. Richard, you're up. You make the face, I'll make the sound. Anyway, Richard, don't worry, we're going to do the intro. Hi, welcome to Leave A Message. This is a serious podcast.

A really serious podcast where we talk about really serious things, because actually, scream time might be consuming you, but you know what also consumes you? Everyday life, the trials and tribulations of relationships, friendships, jobs, it's exhausting out there, girls. And you need a place to come where you feel seen, where you feel heard and where you feel less alone. And that's what Lever Messages is for you. Okay, Queen?

Name. This week, the galleys are going to be called, why are you laughing, candy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. For Candy Crush. Ali, you need, why are you laughing, Candy for Candy Crush. Ali, you need to go and stand in the corner for a minute. Go and stand in the corner. Go and stand outside. Go and have five minutes. I think she's having a quarter life crisis.

What's going on? Why are you crying? That is just so funny. Well, okay, back in the room now. Right, candy number one. Hi, gallies. Happy New Year. I am seeking advice on a workplace dilemma. So the lowdown is that my coworker is bat shit crazy,

and that is an understatement. She is unhinged. She is manipulative. She is a cow. Other C words that I cannot mention without being bleeped by Richard. But she's awful. And there's been a lot of stuff going down in my workplace

since I started in April, but she is the crux. She's made people quit. She's made people cry. And I hate her. But I don't want to get fired myself. I would like to get her fired or at least make her quit. So I'm seeking subtle ways that I can make her life a little bit more miserable, like she makes my life miserable, without me getting in trouble for it.

It's a niche request, but I think you're the gal who's the job. So let me know, please. Listen, it's a little bit niche. Love you, babe. Listen, babe. Welcome to the party, Candy One. You're talking to a manipulated cow. Of all cows.

I'm the king of them. Ali Mac. Yeah. So, babe, how would you be manipulated out of a workplace? What would make you leave the office? Is she your line manager? What would make me leave the office? She's just another person in the office. Okay.

Manipulation in the workplace is often disguised as tasks. Good. But they're not tasks. They're doing it because they want to control you. Yeah. It's not like she... Oh, I see what you mean. So she needs to flip the switch and start giving her... It depends if she... Can she do that? We need to know the hierarchy here because giving her, like... It depends if she's... Can she do that?

Like, we need to know the hierarchy here because it's going to be tricky if you're junior to her, then you can't be, like, bossing. I've got some good tips as a junior. To manage up. To manipulate up. Whoa. You've got to, but it requires a lot of, like, skill. You've got to be really calculated.

You need to, like, basically, to their face, that you've got to play it so sweet. Sickly sweet. You've got to be nicer than nice. Then, in your line manager meetings, you have to start planting down seeds of doubt. You've got to go to HR. About her ability to work. You've got to go to her boss about the way

that she's treating you. Good. Because, at face, you never give anything away. Because the second that you give it away, she's going to use that to control you. Because also, babe, you can file a formal complaint. Like, if she is horrendous and she ruins your life, you can actually go to HR and be like, listen, there's a school bully in the workplace and I don't like her and I don't want her hair anymore.

I will leave if she doesn't. But the problem is that you can't like every, I know that the generic response is like set a boundary with these people you can't, especially if they're more senior than you. Sadly, you have to play the game. And it's a long game. Can I just say that everyone always has someone more senior than them. So when I used to work when I used to work, I don't do that anymore. I had someone that was technically senior to me, but I also reported directly to their line manager.

Yeah. So if ever she was taking the piss and she was asking too much of me or asking me to do stupid things like the fucking... You'd go to the line manager. Meeting rooms. I would go above her and I'd be like, shit. Fucking meeting rooms.

And you know how I'd say it? I'd be like, when the line manager would then ask me to do something that I knew pulled rank over what this other woman would ask me to do, I'd be like, oh, it's really tricky because I've actually got to do X for Y and that's actually taking up a lot of my time. They'd be like, don't do that for her. Or you want to like catch her out. Like this is a really niche example, but like, let's say you said, I don't know, I've got a doctor's appointment on Friday afternoon, she was like, you can't go. You need to kind of like engineer it so that that conversation is happening in front

of someone senior because that makes her look bad. That makes her look like she's a like savage bitch. Also, if it's like she is just generally like not a very nice person in the office, you could always like a vote conversation that you know she's going to be a bit like controversial about or a bit of a cow. And so everyone's also having the conversations. And then when she says something mean, you could be like, gosh, that was quite spiky, Sandra.

What did you mean by that? Nicely, nicely, nicely. Like you're so nice, soft, soft, soft. Or like I used to do it like, because we, especially if you sit like in an open office, then like, so I had this one woman who I worked, like she was above me and she was just like demanding, you know, the petty, like they just pull rank because they can, the meeting rooms and stuff. And like,

Or like they send you an email with the email. And it's like, Sandra, my darling, you've done it. You've written out there and sent it to the wrong person. I just changed the recipient. Do you know what I mean? So you want me to now copy and written it out there and sent it to the wrong person. I just changed the recipient, do you know what I mean? So you want me to now copy and paste you, you spend my time doing that. Sorry. Fucking get a life.

But like, for example, if she was like, she would like make me stay lay, and I would make sure that I would go and have that conversation. She sat right next to our big boss. I would go and be like, oh, but it's my mum's birthday tonight, even if it wasn't. Yeah, good. Obviously now she looks like a... Just make sure you're counting how many birthdays your mum has had within the year. would go and be like, oh, but it's my mom's birthday time, even if it wasn't. Yeah, good. Obviously now she looks like a cow. Just make sure you're counting how many birthdays your mom has had within the year.

Obviously now she looks like a cow because it's like, you're so unhuman. We actually shouldn't underestimate how horrible this is because I know a lot of people that are in corporate jobs, big jobs, and it fully makes you move. It makes you move jobs. Even if it's a job you love and you've got friends in the office, and you can like most of the time ignore them, it can really grate on you and create an environment where you don't want to go to work and you spend a lot of time at work,

like too much time at work if you ask me. And if there's someone there that's making your life miserable, it's horrible babe. Well she said that the person already made a person quit. Yeah, because you would. Like, you genuinely would. I know places where that's happened. And if it gets to that point, babe, isn't there that thing that when you quit,

you're able to kind of write a statement as to why you left? Yes, an exit interview. An exit interview, exactly. Say her name, name and shame her in the exit interview. And get everyone to do the same. On that, you must build an alliance. Oh yeah, you must also say to people how annoying it's not. Because the problem is, if you're the only one, it's really hard.

If it's a chorus of people, say it. Although it's hard, some people just don't like people. They pick on people to be mean to. I know, but they're true. She might just be a cow to you, but that's savage. Listen, you need one or two of them, but you need more than just you in a dream world. Yeah, also she's already made someone quit, so you know it's not just you,

you know she's like genuinely a nightmare. Also, just like, you know, day to day shit, put salt in her water. I was going to say, like, what's kind of, or like every time you go and get like, you know, snacks, bring loads back, but like none in her direction. Yeah, and like, things like... Oh, maybe you could make your feet smell really bad and then take your shoes off and

sit next to her. Do you think? Maybe like if you like accidentally like spilled something on her laptop and then like the wrong email sent to the wrong person. Or like if you do happen to have like norovirus, you could go into the office and sit next to her. Cough on her keyboard and then get out of there. Not like ill, ill, but just a common cold would be good.

Norovirus is quite extreme. It's quite extreme. You don't need to make her... Oh no, if she's a really big cow and manipulative and she hates her. I'd say norovirus is... She does hate her. I just think making someone get on their hands and knees and puke their guts up is not nice. I really think you've got to play the long game and especially if you love your job...

My biggest piece of advice, because I forgot I didn't do this. And actually, this was why it was hard to nail them down. Every time they do something, write it down because it's really easy to generalize. Yeah, but they will eventually come on out. If your boss comes to you and says, can you give me specific examples? You can't just say she's a cow. Yeah. Yeah. Write it down and be really specific. Like she may, she belittled me in front of a client.

Good. Stuff like that. Like, and also, there's always a witness in the workplace. That's a good thing about working in a team. There are always other people in the room. So like, also, you're not going to be the only one that's thinking it, but you've got to sadly be the person to like, be bold and take a stand.

Yeah. And also, maybe also take note of ways that she's not good at her job because the only thing will save her is that if she's really good at her job, they won't care that she's a nasty piece of work. Yeah. So just try and slip her up is all I can say. Totally, 100%. Good luck babe, hope it's okay out there.

Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave A Message, if you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics. But if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Are we ready for voice note number two? Hey Ali, hey G. I wanted to quickly say how much I love the two of you. I have been watching since episode three. Anyway, this is my dilemma, basically. I entered this competition on TikTok

in November that John Lewis was hosting. And I don't know if you saw, but it was basically like, they were going to pick one winner to record their version of this year's John Lewis Christmas ad song, which is Sonnet by Richard Ashcroft. And the winner would get to release their version of the full song as like a charity single. And it would play on Christmas day as well. On top of that, long story short, I won the

competition and it was the most insane trip down to London ever. It was just the best thing that could ever happen to me and it was everything that I wanted to be and more. It was crazy. It was so good. Separate context to that, I graduated from uni in July of last year and my plan was to move back home, save up money and take music more seriously and also go traveling. So my initial plan was to go traveling this February. Obviously since all this has happened there are now like doors and opportunities opening for me that like obviously wouldn't previously have been happening. In February, I'm meant to be going traveling with my best friend. I'm in this massive dilemma

of knowing what to do. I have already messaged her and spoken to her about the possibility that I might not be able to go in the capacity that I was originally going to, which was going to be for like two months. It's been difficult. It's been really hard because I obviously don't want to say no to these potential career opportunities that are coming up, but at the same time I feel terrible because I had this plan to go traveling with her. And I basically just need some help and like navigation on what to do. My gut is telling me that as much as I want to go traveling, I need to hop on this boat whilst I can. But at the same time, am I just being pessimistic and maybe I can go traveling and come back and opportunities will still be there? Yeah, that's my dilemma. I feel like I kind of already

know the answer but sometimes, I don't know, I would love to hear your guys take on it because I love you both so much. Okay, thanks. Oh babe, love you, well done. Congrats, that's amazing. And I love John Lewis. Shout out to John Lewis, that is brilliant. Babe, that's really, really, really amazing. Amazing.

Also, I feel like I've seen you on TikTok. I know who you are, I'm pretty sure. She knows that, yeah. Did you DM us? I feel like I just know this story and I don't know whether I just saw it on i4u page or whether you messaged us, but either way, I'm thrilled. And I've seen you in the recording booth, I think. I'm know this story and I don't know whether I just saw it on i4u page or whether you messaged us but either way I'm thrilled and I've seen you in the recording booth I think.

I'm over the moon about it. I think we're going to have the same response to this. I don't know. I'm feeling on the fence. I'm not on the fence. Grab the mic. Well I know what you're going to say. Well because listen.

Miss workaholic. Hustleaholic. No babe. Miss like how, sorry, opportunities and like things like that don't just happen. No no I know. Like how, sorry, opportunities and things like that don't just happen. No, no, I know, I know. Like, I don't know how many people applied, but like, you did it, babe. It's the epitome of making hay while the sun shines.

It's the situation you're in and the sun is shining on you, babe. Shining. Shining bright. A couple of things. I don't know, what would you say? I agree. I think, like, obviously, normally with, like, you know, situations of like, bailing for work, we've been in these positions multiple, multiple times.

And I have come to the position now where there has to be a rank of event that never gets trumped. Agree. And it doesn't matter who, yeah, it doesn't matter who comes knocking work wise. If that's been graded, call it like a A-list, like A-list friendship thing, someone's wedding day. Anyone could come knocking and I wouldn't miss that thing. And I've decided in my head, I don't know whether you ever do this, but I will never

waver on those things. Some things don't make the cut to be that list. Do you know what I mean? Like, some things I could turn to the person and be like, you have to understand what comes first. But you cannot always do that because you will look back and you won't have any good relationships in your life.

Like, you really won't because anyone who's been on Stephen Bartlett and is like, you know, in their 50s and put their career over their family, their kids, their friendships, their experiences. They all regret it, all of them. So you have to have some things that you wouldn't compromise on, I think. But at the same time, in the line of work that you want to go into,

in the line of work that we're in, a lot of it is down to chance, luck, and opportunity. And so... And the timing. So when you're offered those things, when it's something that isn't grade A, A-list, like your friend will never speak to you again, there is a conversation to be had about the fact that like, listen, I'm not going to be able to go for the full year, the full six

months, the full whatever it is. Two, was it two months? I might only do three weeks or whatever. Yeah, in a bit that you really don't want to do alone. Like talk to her, like give her agency in the situation to be like, in a bit that you really don't want to do alone. Talk to her, give her agency in the situation to be like, actually, babe, I really don't want to do Vietnam alone. And also, agency in your situation, depending on how your opportunities fall.

Schedule them cleverly. Maybe you can manipulate your own calendar a bit more. I would just say, don't, yeah, my advice is, make hay while the sun shines. If you choose to go, I would say, like, don't... Yeah, my advice is make hay while the sun shines. And, like, if you choose to go, I would say don't come home expecting those opportunities to still stand. Because, really, I know it sounds like a short time, but a lot can change in this industry in two months.

Like, a lot. But also, like, Charlie XCX can have rat summer in two weeks. You know what I mean? Like, everything changes so fast. So... But also, I do think, especially, especially like this is just a piece of advice from having done it for what? Like from actually getting traction over the year, but prior to that, both of us hustling for seven years. It doesn't just come, but also you

have to know your worth as well. Like you can ask, I'm not saying you say yes or no, but you can ask, is that date negotiable or not? If it's not, I'll make it work. If it is, can we do it here? Because I think in the beginning, you feel so grateful to have any kind of opportunity. You don't ask. Ask. You don't put authority on it. What they can do is say no.

They say no. When you say no worries, stick to that date. I'll be there. But yeah, I think in this instance, your friend will understand understand the only thing I will I hope they would as well Like especially if it's come about like this is such a specific situation Yeah, that's it that like she was like really talented and won this amazing competition and now all these doors have opened like Obviously, it's so sad for the friend But like I would hope that my best mate would understand that this has happened to me and it's happening now. And it's what you want. It's what you want for a career, therefore, it is worth the sacrifice.

Because that's another thing. I never traveled like that, really, because of the fact that I got into drama school and then I was auditioning. And if I'm honest, do I regret that now? Probably a tiny bit, because I might not do it like that. Like when you're 19 and you're carefree and you're traveling. So you have to really know that in 10 years time, you might regret that.

Do you know what I mean? Like, is it in you basically to really want to travel? Because if it is, that is a different thing. Because it wasn't necessarily in me. I was kind of doing it because I think you should see the world and everyone else does it. But it wasn't necessarily like I'm desperate to backpack. Like that's not really like me. It might be nice if she's like splitting her time between opportunities and traveling.

Maybe she could let a friend step in on the days or the weeks that she's not there. So instead of cancelling things, do you know what I mean? Yeah. Someone else would go with her friend instead of her. Oh, I see what traveling. Yeah. Yeah. So at least she's not alone because not everybody has the... Wants to travel alone. And that is a really hard conversation when you've signed up for

something together and someone backs out, it changes everything because you might not be thrilled to solo travel, a lot of people aren't, that doesn't excite loads of people. And the bottom line is, baby, it's uncomfortable because you are letting your friend down and you are picking yourself over your friend and that is an uncomfortable thing to do. But also, I think it's the right thing to do to pick yourself over your friend. Really, you ask me truthfully in this situation, like, would you look back in 10 years and think, oh, I actually just wish I'd picked myself? I don't know.

And also it's completely different. Like, like I was saying about the kind of things that I put into a category that they are non-negotiable and I won't pick work over them. Those things are normally where I've had the conversation with the friend and they look me in the eye and they're like, this is the one. You can't miss this. Miss this. If they're my inner circle and they're my ride or die and they're my blood, you better spin it up and not miss it.

But I think you should work both ways actually. Like you should have the same, like I don't know, let's say Ant and Dec come knocking and like that's an A-list work opportunity. Like you can have that rule both ways. Yeah. That like nothing can, this day is immovable for me. Like I will not cancel that work thing in the same way that I will not cancel on your wedding day. But it's all communication.

Exactly. Yeah. Oh babe, well, have we, I don't know, did we help there? I think you're going to take the opportunities and maybe try and travel and try and arrange it so that it can work in the best way possible. That you can maybe have a bit of the best of both worlds. Because that could be possible. You just got to make sure you ask for it. And like, you know, you're hot stuff. You won the competition out of everyone. Yeah, and don't forget it. You were on the John Lewis ad. So you can say, I'm busy in February, be there March.

Does that work for you? If not, don't worry, I'll move things around. But if it does, great. Yeah. Because you don't ask, you don't get. So then maybe it's you both. Yeah. Very good. Sorry. Don't ask, don't get. Absolutely right. Keep us posted.

Yeah, keep us posted. Send us pics of your travels if you go or send us links to your opportunities because we want to see you singing your guts out. We love it. Is it time for a round up? It sure is. Whoa! OK, candy number one.

Happy New Year. Yeah, listen, you've got to get your hat on, your revenge hat on. And you've got to think dark. You've got to put it on your agenda as part of your work. To do good. To do, it'll be all your email stuff, it'll be all your actual project stuff, it'll be all your actual project stuff and

then it'll be like... And then it'll be like revenge. ...sabotage Sandra. Yeah. And that's why you got to... It's like a fun little task for the work week. Like spit in the tea twice a week. Twice a week.

Yeah. Then. Oh, sorry. I have one more tip for you, actually. Try, if you can, not to leave a paper trail. Oh, no emails. Go to flagging on Teams. Yes.

Good. Because otherwise you look bad. And you don't want to look like the actual workplace bully. But if she sent you an email, save that, get that into your download folder. You could create a folder just called Sabotage Sandra. I don't know her name, but I just imagine it might be Sandra. Candy number two, babe, first of all, congrats. And it's really exciting for you. And it's an uncomfortable thing to

prioritize yourself and your career especially. But your friends will understand if you communicate with them in the right way and you minimize the fallout from it basically. So you're not completely fucking her over. Because you're letting her down but can you do it in a way that isn't like off you go. Also, if the roles were reversed, would you not? I don't know how you would feel but like... Of like her dream might be different to yours.

Yeah, exactly. If I don't know, if she wants to be a lawyer and I don't know, someone comes in, you know, name of the law firm, come knocking on your door, Golden Circle firm saying we want to bump you up a year, you need to start. Same thing. Yeah. Really tricky. Really tricky. Oh, you've just got to have loads of uncomfortable conversations and go on Skyscanner, I guess. Right, should we have a question of the week?

Let's. Good. Okay, we went for, when is it okay to bail on friends? Because this is really interesting, isn't it? You know, like you can have a situation where normally it's to do with when someone first starts dating and like the early, the early like months kind of like trump anything and you're like, does it? I don't know. I don't think it does. Definitely not. No, but like it normally happens. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it just does. Okay,. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like it just does. Okay, family emergency, lots of those. Yeah, emergencies only, everyone's saying emergencies. My rule normally... I don't agree with that. To bail on your friends, emergencies only.

Depends on the level of like, if it's just dinner. I mean, I flake all the time, but I'm guessing we're thinking things that you don't really like you've had in the diary. Do you know what I mean? Dinner. Okay, dinner. But if you constantly bailed on dinner, I would be like, you're not a very good friend. Yeah.

Okay. But it's regularity, I guess, then. Yeah. But that's why it's like emergencies because it's like, otherwise you would bail every Thursday. Yeah. So like, what's your emergency, babe? What you really need is a friend that's as flaky as you.

Yeah, that you just- Me too. That you just never see. That you both understand. I love those friends. I just don't want to have dinner today. Yeah, me neither just... Me too. That you just never see. That you both understand. I love those friends. Oh, I just don't want to have dinner today. Oh yeah, me neither actually. Okay, we'll see you in a year.

Yeah. Not bothered. My normal rule for this kind of stuff is whatever was planned first, and then it's like, then I go into the ranking system. If I'm really in a conundrum, but normally what was planned first, I try to... Yeah, I agree. Make that thing the plan that I can't move. Unless it's like someone's hen do.

Like, ofs, move stuff around. Move stuff around if you can. Yeah, everyone's, the girls are serious. They're all saying like on your deathbed, really ill. MH, lots of MH. Oh yeah, lots of MH. Well, that's right girls. Mental health.

If you're just really not feeling it and you're feeling groggy and you can't. Also, and if they're one of those people that sucks the energy out of you. A lot of people are saying honesty is just important. So like, as long as you're honest when you're bailing, then it's fine. When you're big fat ill. Yeah, everyone just says you have to be really ill. Work events. Like, everyone has that. Everyone has to stay late in the office and stuff like that. Well, like, you know, like I have this a bit with Holes. Like, I really respect that her job like takes up like a huge part of her brain that like sometimes then when she gets

home... She doesn't want to talk. Yeah. And like if I live with her, but if we'd had a plan, I would definitely accept the fact that she had been really busy at work and like going out in an overstimulated restaurant wasn't her idea of heaven. That's another thing, maybe getting good at like, this is kind of different because we were talking like picking this over that. But if it is just dinner, for example, maybe it's a way of like, how can you articulate rather than like a full blanket, I'm out, we're not doing it. Can you say, I really can't go out tonight,

but would you come over and we'll do pasta? Or like, but can we do like pajamas and watch Love Island and not even talk? Like, it depends on your friendship level. But sometimes it's so friendship level dependent. Sometimes it's the actual activity that you don't want to do. Oh my God, putting on a pair of jeans and leaving the house. No way. But it's like, I do want to see you.

So can you come over? But also, listen, I think we both are so guilty of this. It's a bigger deal in your head to leave the house than the reality of leaving the house. I know, I'm so bad. And like, it's just genes. And it's just- But some days. But some days.

I can't do it. But not every day. No, not every day. What I'm trying to say is that like, I can really get into a headspace where I'm like, I'm not going to see anyone, I'm not going to leave the house. And then I just don't see anyone for a month because I'm so lazy. And actually, if I had just bothered to fucking put on a pair of jeans and a jumper, I would

have had some nice dinners this month with my friends. Yeah. But yeah, it's not every day. Some days I really can't face it. Maybe that is a good rule then, girls. You can only bail if you've got a really good reason that would stand up in court. Yeah. But like, yeah, it's not every day. Some days I really can't face it. Maybe that is a good rule then, girls. You can only bail if you've got like a really good reason that would stand up in court. Yeah. No bailing for the sake of it.

I'm not sorry to quote you, but I'm not a point. Have you guys started to notice that your emotions actually don't mean anything? They just don't like... Kind of, yeah. You should just do things on autopilot versus being like, oh, I don't feel like this today because sometimes that is really beneficial. Because you actually will go out and enjoy yourself. Yes.

Like everything is, it's so fascinating because we're making it up every second of every day. We're all living according to just chemical reactions that are just happening in our brain. And then we're living our lives by them. Yeah. And it's like, babe, do you not just... Well, also you have to remember they're transient. So attaching to them and allowing them to fuel your movements, dangerous beers. Listen, there's a scale and when you hit 10, on a valuation. But if we're talking a three, a three out, I can't be bothered.

Even a five or a six. Yeah, a six. Okay, it's six, girls. Maybe even a seven. If you're feeling really good. Check in with that scale. It's the same thing. Like dating is a really good example because like you'd never go. If you were waiting for like, I could be at a one and I won't go.

Do you know what I mean? You can't do that. You can't play that game. Got to get out there, girls. Yeah. No bailing. Life is for the living. Okay, no one's allowed to bail, apart from Candy too,

because she's got to go and be a superstar. Yes. She's got to go and be a pop star. We need some more pop stars, I think. What are you famous? Could you DM us? Yeah, we'll get you in the car. Yeah, brilliant.

Thank you so much for listening or watching. We love you so much. Make sure you're subscribed. Make sure you're sending in your voice notes. And tune in next week for the 50th episode. Is it? Yeah! Oh my god! We best do something exciting.

Maybe we'll only have voice notes from people in their 50s. We won't get a single one, sadly. No, I know a lot. I'm on the hunt. Your GP? My GP! Good! Love you! Thank you so much! See you next week! Bye!