Leave A Message with Ally & G - 5 - Clearing The Inbox: The Gallies Have Gone Off Piste!

Episode Date: April 3, 2024

We're clearing out the inbox and answering all of the Gallies miscellaneous questions, queries, concerns and customer service requests. It's Leave A Message off piste! Ally & G are covering everything from making friends in a new city to unlocking your careless energy with some wild stories along the way. Let it go, let it go! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Welcome back, galleys. This is Leave a Message. Thanks for joining us. Thanks for making it this far. Yeah, if you're a returning visitor, then welcome. Thank you so much. If you're new around here, this is the podcast where we listen to your voice notes and we give very, very loose advice. I would even say advice as strong I'd go with the word opinion. We talk about it, we laugh at it, and we might give you one sentence that might be worth carrying with you for just a week. Just a week. I wouldn't take it for longer than that.

Absolutely not. I would say a week is pushing it even. I would say so. This is a podcast by the galleys for the galleys. We love you. You guys have the best stories. Our DMs are full of them. So we thought,

why not turn it into a podcast? And here we are. And actually that does lead into what this episode is about because this episode, we've obviously had so many voice notes and we've been asking for quite specific stories, but the galleys have gone off piste

and they've obviously got things that they need to get off their chest, they need to ask. As they should. As they should. So we've got a few random voice notes in the group chat that we didn't want to let go to waste.

Well, because if you need something, you must let us know. When you have like a big pressing question or like a dilemma, who's the first person you call? Oh, that really depends. On what it is. Yeah, because if I was in trouble, I would probably just call my mum. Would you? I thought you were going to say Roar.

No. Only call him for plumbing. I'd call him if it was like, if it was like an actual situation that like actually needed an adult input. Sorry, I can't believe you just didn't laugh at my plumbing joke was like, if it was like an actual situation that like actually needed an adult. Sorry, I can't believe you just didn't laugh at my plumbing joke. Yeah, was it funny? I thought that was brilliant.

If it was an actual problem that I needed an adult to help with, like, remember that? An adult, because you're not an adult. Do you know what I mean? And neither are you and neither are Roar. Neither is Roar. Nor Roar.

Nor Roar. So the only person I really could call in that situation, like when I had my car crash last year, do you remember? Yeah. I was on the motorway. The first person I called was my mum. Yeah.

But like, you know, for silly shit, everyday things, it normally would be you, unless it was like, oh, something that he needed to help me with, like a man problem. You know, like shit. A blue job. Like, you know, the light was broken.

I see. I said plumbing. The fuse was gone. Shit like that I'd call rule four. Yeah. Everything else I'd call you. Yeah. Who would you call?

Yeah, it completely depends. Completely depends on the problem, on the issue I was having. Like, let's say... If I was having, like, quite practical issues, I actually wouldn't call my mum. I'd probably call Hals. Like, anything, like, life, like, adult-y, I'd call call holly yeah she's quite an adult yeah like

she's so just on it and she does know the answer mostly like the other day i was going this is so pathetic and so codependent but i was going on that walk in north london and do you remember do you remember i was going to finsbury? Oh yeah. And the trains weren't running so I had to walk to the district line and when I got to the district line the trains were being really funny again and I just honestly froze and I couldn't make a decision

and I had to ring Holly and be like I don't know what train to get on and I don't know how to get to Finsbury Park and then she told me and I just followed her instruction. Babe. Yeah. As. Yeah. As you should.

That's bad, isn't it? Yeah, I mean, I think that's... Sometimes I just can't make up my own mind. I just need someone to tell me. Outfits, I'd call you. When you got mugged, you would call me and Holly simultaneously. I mean, you did call us simultaneously. I only called you because you were awake. Because it was late.

Yeah. I think... I don't think anything, actually. I never think. Don't actually anything, actually. I never think. Don't actually ever think. So here we are. We've opened up the group chat for the galleys because, you know,

if we're the people that you need to speak to when you're having an issue, well, we better reply. We better reply. We can't leave you hanging. Imagine. Because that's the worst. When you send a message to a friend...

Today. Oh, my God. No, it's bad. Babe. I can see you're online. I wasn't online. Double ticking. No, babe. No, it's bad. I can see you're online. I wasn't online. Double ticking. No, babe. She sent me a message. This happens

quite a lot, actually, with you. Because you're on your phone all the time. So I just think, why are you suddenly not on your phone? Answer me, and then I ring her. Ooh, why is she suddenly not on her phone? Ooh. She called me. I was in the nail shop. She was like, you're ignoring me. And I was like, babe, my hands are in the LV

in the UV lamp I can't type and reply to you I had questions too I needed answers just like the galleys okay so let's get the galleys show on the road

yes hi girls I'm Emily love you both and I've been watching for a while now and trying to get

all the girls onto it like watching your videos um I'm from Derby and I am planning on moving to London at the end of summer with my boyfriend do you have any advice for my move to London and specifically as well like how to make friends in a new city because this is the first time I'm moving away and I don't know anyone there. So any advice would be appreciated.

Thank you. We best call the galleys, Emily. Emily, I was just thinking, baby, you read my mind. Very good, well done. So this is Emily one. Number one, thank you so much for the free PR and marketing for telling all your mates. We need more of that.

Could everyone actually please start doing that a bit more? Yeah, we'd like if you could just like pass this on as much as you can. That would be nice. Apparently we need to get to 80,000 impressions. I don't actually know what that means. I'd love to know what that means. Poppy?

Poppy quite literally in charge of podcasting and she's got no clue what that impression is. So that's good. Emily, we're welcome. Welcome to London.on god you're gonna need your big girl pants on babe i'm gonna tell you when did you move in how old were you oh like i was a teenager i really as in not in your family home i've kind of really lived in and out of london honestly since i was like i can't even remember when did you live alone in

london i've never lived alone in london you. You lived in that little flat in Kensington, didn't you? I've lived with people my... I don't live alone now, babe. Really? Who do you live with? That's strange, man. I wish he'd move out. I know, me too. Cramping my style. You need the wardrobe space to be fair. I know.

No, well, like, when I was a teenager I kind of, like, lived with Min. Yeah. All of our holidays. But her parents were never there. They were jet-setting and living their best lives. So we kind of were just left to our own devices as well. Oh, I guess then you went to uni in Bristol and then you moved straight in with Raw?

Then, no. Then me and my sister lived in Pimlico just, like, that summer after I finished uni because my sister was also at uni in London. Yeah. I can't actually I couldn't tell you like an age that I really felt like okay now I'm like living alone in London I've always felt like that like I'm not gonna lie when we were teenagers we were all sort of just left to our own devices go to London on the weekend just do whatever you want yeah I guess when you

have that London's less of like a big scary city but when I moved here at 19 I was quite afraid of it I moved here for uni I wasn't even 19 I was like 21 I just turned 21 in the October of the September that I went to uni and I moved to Shadwell big up the east of London um and I went to uni in New Cross and I had to I remember I had to get the train. And the first time I ever walked back from Shadwell train station to my halls, I honestly, I ran. No.

I ran so fast. It's terrifying. The first time you come here, you think, first of all, why do people choose to live here? It's so overstimulating. Yeah, it's so intense, isn't it? So intense. I think we do all forget,

we're now so used to people just like vomiting next to us on the tube. And bumping into you or shouting things at you like you know being really like pervy and weird or like girls like you know like just being like all up close and personal with everyone 24 7 3 6 5 it's a lot yeah and people do say about london like it's quite a lonely city and i think don't be put off by that if you have that experience in the first few months of living here. I think you should expect it actually. Yeah, I think it can take a minute. It can take a minute. I think if you're going to move to London, you have to kind of lean into that though. You have to expect it and like embrace

that. I think if you choose to live here, like I have this all the time. I also live on a high street. There is no zen in my life. I love it. have this all the time. I also live on a high street. There is no zen in my life. I love it. It's the things that I love about living on a high street are like I feel really safe walking home at night. No, you go to Ali's at 10am on a Saturday and there's girls in their high heels getting ready for bottomless punch.

And I just think, really? Babe, last two weekends. Oh my God, I can't believe I didn't tell you this. Two weekends ago, babe, I go out of my gate. It was Sunday, it was early because I was going to work at like nine.

Yeah. My version of early, by the way, on a Sunday. This guy honestly passed out like across the gate. I couldn't open the gate. I had to go back up to Braun.

I was like, you have to come down. And wake up, man. And help me get, just move past him in a way that means that I can get to the tube. Anyway, dutifully, he came down.

And did he wake him up, the man? No, no, he just sort of like kicked him and he just sort of rolled down. No, he kicked him! Babe, he was blackout drunk. Like he didn't even like, we're always like, you know, trying to like roll him down the street a bit

and he didn't even wake up. He was actually like, could have been dead, could have had his kidney harvested. Do you know what I mean? So bad. So bad. So bad. I had this recently where I was driving to spin really early, like, actually early, like 6am.

And this guy was on the side of the street, like, rolling around. Oh, I remember this. And I was a bit like, do I pull over? Like, that's another thing about living in a big city. Like, everyone keeps themselves to themselves and sometimes I think rightly so. I saw this meme.

Rightly so. It's scary out there. I saw this meme that was like you could literally get knocked over and hit by a bus in London

and cyclists and people would just walk straight past you. So bad. Well there was that guy in New York do you remember? The homeless guy

had fallen asleep on the steps of some kind of like big city bank with all the like brokers and stuff and it took days for anyone to realise that he died because people walked past him yeah horrendous yeah yeah so bad well look don't die on a city bank then because that's not going to be helpful

it's not they're not the most um you know nurturing people in the world maybe i don't know i don't know many city bankers no i don't know either you don't know many city bankers. No, I don't know either. You must. I must start dating them. Babe, you must. Actually, I do think that's going to be helpful. Could you date like a footballer? I was desperate for me to date a footballer. I'd just like to just get

in the room once, get a signed T-shirt and then you can just, you know, we could jog on. What team do you need me to start sniffing around? Anyone that plays for England. I really don't give a shit who.

Pick any of them. Pick one of them. Doesn't matter. You don't even have to know his name. Get us to a party and after party, I'll get a sign shut and then you can be out of there. You can block him.

Deal. We've made London sound scary. It's not. There's amazing things. There's always something to do. Everything's always open, which I love. We were talking about this the other day

about whether, you know, whether we would move out or stay in in London forever and ever and ever I think it's hard to say that when you don't have kids but there is something so magical that gets lost about London every day because like we don't do we don't like appreciate all the things that we have at our fingertips and on our doorstep you could literally go and like I don't know go to a West End theatre show and in the same day go and walk down Portobello market and like everything is here it's so rich in culture and activity and you just have to

especially when you move here like force yourself to see the joy and like those kinds of things rather than like the offensive people and you know in your face on a Monday morning it's so disgusting I did have that a few years ago where I kind of stopped like enjoying and embracing London I really wanted to move out just because I did have that a few years ago where I kind of stopped like enjoying and embracing London. I really wanted to move out just because I did find it quite like overwhelming. And I was like, oh, I want to be in like a smaller community. I want to feel like, I don't know.

Yeah, it's not so big and lonely and daunting. But actually if you lean in and you like find those things exciting and like, wow, like yeah, everything's at my fingertips. And also it's not even like, obviously rent like, yeah, everything's at my fingertips. And also, it's not even like, obviously rent is so expensive here, but actually there's so much free stuff to do if you know where to look

and you know who to talk to and who to hang out with. And there's silly things, like even getting a class pass deal that's free for a month so you can go to all the classes and like meet people. There's so many things that

actually you can do it even on a budget because you're spending all your money on your rent do you know what i mean tips to meet people in london yeah do that go to things like exercise classes and um things that you would find fun that we've we've talked about this before about shared hobbies yeah meeting people but even meeting at people you know in a coffee shop you might stand next to someone buying a Gales cookie. And you can just say, oh, you've gone triple chocolate, have you? I've gone out.

And then you could bond over it. I don't recommend that as the number one pick-up line. What would you go for? I would say... Sorry, I must adjure this because... Oh, this is... My friend Chloe. Love love you chloe i hope you're listening still you're probably not because ali's offended you so much my friend chloe was like listen i love the pod i'm really enjoying listening it's great number one both of you must stop swearing and number two, Ali must stop being so aggressive when she calls

people stupid little bitches. So now, I gave that feedback to Al and honestly since she has called everyone she sees a silly little bitch. Not just on me babe, both of us. The woman that yesterday gave you some minging tea. No, they didn't toast

her tuna sandwich enough and she was silly. Silly, silly bitch. you some minging tea no they didn't toast her tuna sandwich enough and she was silly silly silly bitch the man the sorry he was more than a silly bitch that stupid effing easy jet man babe he was a wanky dickhead he was a dicky wankhead we were talking about like what's appropriate to um you know slag people off with like what terms and names like what's going too far do you know, slag people off with? Like, what terms and names? Like, what's going too far? Do you know what I mean? Like, what is aggressive? You can call someone

just like a CNX Tuesday if they just toasted your tuna sandwich not enough. It's too much. It's too much. You can't be doing that. But I would say, babe, the man, the EasyJet man,

he was a CNX Tuesday. No, we were having this huge debate. So Al was trying to rank it there. She was like, that's how bad it was. Basically, she read her booking wrong and she didn't have the right luggage allowance and she was in her own little world being like,

I do have a large cabin bag and she didn't have a large cabin bag. Of course, I just read it wrong. She read it wrong and she just convinced herself that she did have a large cabin bag. Anyway, he was like, computer says no vibes, just like, no, you've got to pay, you silly little bitch. You silly, spoiled bitch.

You must pay. And we were then having this whole debate about what his behaviour was. Yeah. Because she was saying he's 10 out of 10, you know, he's a...

See, next Tuesday. I was saying I think he was a bit of a knob. You know, he was a bit of a knob. He was more than a knob. He was a dickhead. This was us in Departures Lounge.

We were having this huge debate. Anyway, what would you say to the girl in Gales if you wanted to make friends with her? I would say, um, I love your trainers. Good. That is good, babe. It's a really good in. I do that with people all the time. Even that girl in Spain. That girl with the nails. If I

had lived in Spain, I would have said, where do you get your nails done? And you'd have been friends with her. La la la la la. You've got to, you know, go back. I made quite good friends with the girl at the fish market when we were in Barcelona. The woman with the scales on her face.

No. Oh, the Irish girl. Yes. Yes. So, oh babe, well done, because you were holding the conversation

for both of us. I couldn't be arsed. You weren't in the mood. No. You've got to be in the mood. So just go out when you're in the mood and when you feel like

you're feeling good enough for talking. And also, kind of, when you first move, you have to kind of force yourself to be in the mood all the time. If someone comes up to you and talk to you, you make an effort to make...

Get their number. Put yourself out there. Be brave, be bold. Go for coffee. Where do you live? Oh my God, no way. I live just three hours away. My friend Lisa has actually just moved to Bristol and she's doing this right now. And she tells me all these stories about meeting these girls. And last night she went to this naked life drawing with this girl she just met. Genius. As she should. I thought, epic. As she should.

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Babe, honestly, HelloFresh has saved me so many times and now my in-laws think I can actually cook even though all I've done is followed the recipe and had the ingredients delivered to my door. But babe, you are cooking. It's absolutely genius. And also, you are cooking. It's absolutely genius. And also, it's not like you're going to be stuck doing one recipe that you're good at because there's variety from HelloFresh. There's so much choice. Come on. You can get 10 free meals

at HelloFresh.com slash free Ali G applied across seven boxes. New subscribers only varies by plan. That's 10 free HelloFresh meals just by going to HelloFresh.com slash free Ali G. You're welcome. Hi, it's me again. I have a second question. Something that I really hate about myself is how uptight I can be. Like, I'm a very strategic person. I like to have a plan in place and I like to be organized. Like, for example, on a night out, I'll never go like crazy. I always make sure I get home on time. And like, I think a lot of that is caring too much about things, taking things too seriously sometimes. And I really hate myself for it. Like I wish I was more carefree.

So I wondered if you had any advice on how to like unlock that side of me. I feel like I'm definitely getting better, but I want to care less about things and care less about like, oh, how am I going to get home? And then how's this going to happen? And blah, blah, blah.

Or do I just accept my fate and realize like this is who I am and just that maybe I'm not that kind of person. You know, I don't know. What do you think? Shrooms? Emily. Microdose, thank you, Rana.

Emily, you are a voice note hogger, but I'll allow it. Emily too. Well, it could have been from a different time. She said, hi, it's me again. Sure. You are me. Oh my God, welcome to the club.

Yeah, do we think girls feel seen? Let's take a moment for everyone that really, really resonates with Emily too. Right, I've got some therapy speak for you that I actually got told in therapy a couple of weeks ago. Wait, I must get my therapy pose on. Go on. You're not uptight, so this really isn't for you,

but that's fine. I'm literally so laxie slaxie wouldn't even believe it was going on half the time go on tell me you must embrace all parts of you don't hate yourself for it because that's not going to actually achieve anything i'm like you by the way you must not hate yourself for it there might be times when you find it gets in the way and by the way i'm i think i'm less bad you should have seen me at uni babe we wouldn't have been friends honestly i was like an uptight don't give me that face that was just who i was no but we wouldn't have been friends what a shame

that's what i was thinking that was a good save well done really at uni you were yeah i anal? Oh, on another level. Really? Yes, babe. And I hated myself for it because I was the same. I wanted to have fun, but for some reason I just couldn't enjoy myself.

I think a lot of it is about environment and I don't know whether this is true for you, but you might not feel... Like, I was thinking this about you and I was going to text you this, but I didn't because I thought, I'll just see you tomorrow anyways, it doesn't really matter.

I'll tell her on the pod. pod save all the good conversation for the pod I think that you bring out that side of me because you are so like that and if you're surrounded by people who are either like you or like criticize you you never make me feel like it's such an awful thing

and like like G is the most like forgiving person in terms of me being an anal perfectionist like she will never you know like i'll go back on something 50 times and she won't give me a hard time about it she'll just say oh babe that's the perfectionist in you rather than saying don't be such a perfect if you're around people like that don't be around people like that because that's when you'll start to hate it because they'll make you feel like there's something wrong with you there's nothing wrong with you babe

it's just the way you're built the number because I know that you said I hate myself for it I can hate myself for it too I can sometimes I have that too by the way I can't let something go

or I'll look at a fucking edit for like five you know like I'll go back and look at that one second at 13, 21, 50 and think oh should I keep that yes or in or out you know like it's dumb don't hate it it's you and it's who you are and also a lot of the time that's what gives you

a lot of your strength like I think a lot of the things I'm good at are is because I'm a perfectionist and I'm anal and I'm really detail orientated and shit doesn't get missed with me and you mustn't hate that about yourself because it's not going to do you any justice. It is who you are. Find things, like I'm really trying to do this, find things that you must maintain that standard for yourself. Don't give yourself a hard time about it.

I have that, for example, with an edit or with like meetings or work or like I would really lean into it in terms of like work. In play, I would really lean into it in terms of like work in play I would really force myself to lean out so like if I go out and I get a bit sloppy it doesn't fucking matter I was gonna say with the going out stuff I yeah I can be quite a free spirit I suppose and a bit like airy fairy head in the clouds um but also I do have shit to do, I suppose.

Like, for example, this is a great example. So, like, on a Friday night, right, I like to go out with the girls. I like to have a little drink. I like to have a good time. I also need to be in a spin studio the next morning teaching spin. So, I don't want to not go out ever again because I have to teach spin because I just think

that's not what life's for if I like going out. This is only if you like going out and you do want to let your hair down. So instead of stressing all night about the fact that I need to be up early or I need to be back or is my laptop charged, I'm just super prepared and you'll be great at this because you're anal and a bit of a control freak. I make sure there's water by my bed, my alarm's already set, my laptop's charged, my bag's packed. So I can go out until 3am if I want to. I can get absolutely like blathered. It's not going to be nice on the bike the next day. But if that happens and I have the night of my life and it was worth staying out for,

everything that I need is ready to go. Everything's ready to go. So the next morning won't be panic. I won't feel guilty. I might feel hungover, but I won't feel like my life's out of control because I know my alarm will still go off. I'll still put my spin kit on and I'll still go to spin. So then you can have a bit of control. But within that control, you can allow yourself to be a little bit chaotic. Yeah, pick the things to control that actually matter. Yeah. Like if you're having a good night, listen, don't chase every night. Not every night is going to be amazing. No need go home if you'd rather be in bed. But if you really are in the mood for letting yourself go, just make sure you can do that because you know you're safe in it. Everything's sorted.

That goes for things even like not just going out. That goes for work. Like if there's something that really bothers you and you think, I actually really do need to be quite perfectionist about this, be a perfectionist about it. But if there's something that you just think, oh, whatever.

Even if there's something inside you that goes, no, no, go back and look, go back and look, go back and check it. No, no, no, it might not be perfect. Just let it go. Just press send. Just say nothing's perfect. Ever. Yeah. Someone else will find a flaw that you didn't see. And if you spend your life thinking

about all of those tiny details... But please don't hate yourself. Yeah, don't hate yourself. That's what I must reiterate from... You've got to see all these things. ...from a fellow control freak freak is that you must not hate that part of yourself because it is what makes you you and somewhere in there

is some of the best parts of you but they also give you the tendency to be over controlling in areas of your life that you don't need to be. Also you've got to see it as a dimmer switch all these things like you're not always one thing like we're so like used to putting ourselves in boxes nowadays it's like you're not always one thing. Like, we're so, like, used to putting ourselves in boxes nowadays.

It's like, you're not always a perfectionist. Because, like, no, you're not. So you can dial it down. That's what you're saying about leaning out. You just dial it down. Dial it up when you need it. And try and learn to dial it down. That's what I'm, it's not like, yes, it is a dimmer switch,

but people might find that difficult. So that's what I'm saying. Like, even if you feel like, oh, I know it's a dimmer switch, but people might find that difficult. So that's what I'm saying. Even if you feel like, oh, I know it's a dimmer switch, actually the practice of being a dimmer switch is a bit different. It's practice. You have to force yourself

really to not go back and look at something a hundred times if you're so inclined, but force yourself because it will help your life. Emily, number three. Oh my goodness. Hi, how are you? Love you guys to pieces. So I recently downloaded Hinge and I've had it before. I just wasn't vibing it. Like this

one guy sent me a link to someone else's wedding after we were just talking for three days. So that was so strange. My question is, how do you actually find guys on Hinge like that are not weird and crazy and actually worth going on a date with? Anyway, Mad Love from South Africa and just Mad Love in general. You guys are amazing. Mad Love, baby!

From South Africa. So good. Oh my God. We're global. She's from South. So good. Oh my God. We're global. She's from South Iflika. Epic. Oh my God, I would never have thought we'd have got down there. Wow.

That's amazing. Love you. I obviously can't really contribute other than one thing that I can say about her, but you best go first. No, go on. What do you want to say about me? I was going to say, we had this very interesting situation where her friend, Matt... Running out of names for people, go on.

Her friend, Matt, redid her Hinge profile. And basically, the things that she put on there were completely... Like, every single thing was different to the things that he chose as a boy. And he was like, this is what you should be putting out there. This is what boys want. The things that he said that boys want are so different to what girls would think that boys want.

And I just find it, first of all, psychologically fascinating. But maybe you should do that. What's her name, Emily? Emily Three. Emily Three. Get a friend that's a boy to revamp your hinge

and see if that does anything for your algorithm because you never know. I think you can try that, but I also think you have got to put out the version of yourself that you want to put out and it will attract eventually the right people. So if your friend was the type of person that you would want to fancy you, perfect, epic.

If he's not, then what he's looking for on hinge might not be the kind of guy that you want i have learned with my time on hinge recently that it really is an algorithm al's right like you have to train it you have to teach it so sadly girls you gotta swipe one of the only ways to get hinge to start working for you and not against you, because sometimes it feels like a hate crime, is to use it. You've got to use it and abuse it.

And sometimes that's even swiping for people that don't tick every box. But something in there, the algorithm might pick up. Exactly. Oh, you like people over six foot. Oh, you like, I don't know. Men that live in East London. Exactly. Yes yes just so that it starts to build an idea of what you like also by the way hinge isn't the be all and end all listen loads of apps bumble back on bumble a lot of people i know are

loving field genuinely which rogue what is it so it kind of started off as an app to... How shall I put this? Shag. Uh, no. Up the bum? I would say that's still Tinder. Anal. Stop. Blow it.

Blow jeez. Blowies. Blowies. Blowies blowjob. It's an app, yeah, to disclaim your sexual preferences early doors. Oh, yeah. So if you only like to be rimmed... Sure.

For example, you might go onto field and put rimmers only. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, no shame here. No kink shame. Yeah, so if you only like to be rimmed, for example, you might go onto field and put rimmers only. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Listen, no shame here, no kink shame. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, but now apparently, because it's just the newest app and people are curious, it's actually got quite a lot of good single people on it.

But I would say, if you're not looking to be rimmed or if you're not looking for a particularly sexual experience and you actually want to meet someone, don't go there yeah i think listen i think just try everything throw everything at the wall it's hard to get a date people make it out it's like it's super easy you just go on the apps you get a date you've got to give it some time like you've got to give it some scroll time you know when i'm watching tv now married at first sight australia which can't stop watching i will get my dating apps up just so that I'm like using them and it's hard out

there girls I think you've just got to be patient and you will go through stages of fatigue with it because there's a lot to sift through and that's just okay then just let it drop for a bit and then get back on the horse or go to a bar go out to a bar

also hard why is it hard? have you been to a bar. Go out to a bar. Go to the real world, I would say. Why is that hard? Have you been to a bar recently and looked around and found the calibre of men? No. Because sometimes it can be even more disheartening when you get yourself dolled up.

This is the problem. When you go out with the intention of trying to find someone, that is quite tricky because you can look around and you can think, I don't fancy anyone. If it's diabolical on the apps, how much worse can it be in real life?

You might as well just go out with the girlies and look around, get your shark in her home. Do you know what I mean? Just see, you never know. You might have a meet and cute in a bar at 3am.

Also, if you don't have any single friends, then you've got to drag your married ones out because it's the only way. You've got to tell them, listen, you lucky cow, you're at home with your man.

Sorry, you've got to come out with me. Totally, 100% agree. To the witching hours. 100%. Because I can't do it alone. And also, we're all in this together. If you die alone, then I'm going to have to look after you.

Do you know what I mean? Exactly. And also, nobody's safe. We say this all the time. No one's safe. Oh, she's come to the dark side now. This is the first time she's saying it. No.

Well, I've always known this. Mrs. Trusty's come to the dark side. Here we go. No, I've always known this. Oh, youy's come to the dark side. No, I've always known this. Oh, you can only imagine yourself. No one should ever get too smart. Because you could be single at any moment. You could be married.

So you want to be keeping one so in, I'd say, just so you know what's going on. You could be married with six kids, babe, and people get single. I'm sorry to say this. Imagine you think it's all done and dusted and your grafting boots are hung up and then boom. Yeah, it's really hard.

I just think you've got to use, you've just got to use them. That's the only way. It's a numbers game, girls. You've got to just use it. And when you get tired of using it, stop and then go again. You know? Also, I do think in general on apps, in bars, whenever, whenever you're looking for it is when it will not happen.

I really, really, you know, sometimes like even with friendships, the people that you didn't mean to meet become like the most important person in your life yeah it's so hard i think you're right about looking for it but i also think you have to put out quite a receptive energy totally especially now when people are quite nervous to approach other people because of everything that's like you, we've learned about how to kind of cross boundaries or not. I just think you do have to give out a bit of a, I'm open. Oh, yeah. If you want to come and talk to me, talk to me.

Oh, yeah. And also what you've been doing really well, which is like, I'm just going to go and just see, like zero expectations. If it's shite, I'll just leave. Yeah. But like, at least I just, you know, for the plot, it's a good story. And like, you know, just, you know, it's for the plot. It's a good story.

And like, you know, I might just meet, he might be really good. Yeah. Or he might be really horrendous and then it's for the plot. Yeah, it's for the plot and you've had a nice date or whatever. And yeah, you've just got to get yourself out there

and it's not great advice, but you have. Sorry, it's just really boring to say that because it's the God's honest. But if you want a date, then you've got to get out and date. You can't be sitting on your sofa, really. Well, you can if you're scrolling through your apps. You can.

But you can't be sitting doing nothing. No, but you can be scrolling, but even scrolling isn't going to get you, like, you can scroll and like 100 people. You've still got to go and meet some of them. Got to chat. Got to chat. You've got to cast the net

and you've got to reel it in. You've got to do a vibe check. Oh, you must do a vibe check. I like to crack a few jokes, see if they get it, and if they miss them, I just say, I won't bother with the drink. Do you know what to reel it in. You've got to do a vibe check. Oh, you must do a vibe check. I like to crack a few jokes, see if they get it, and if they miss them, I just say, I won't bother with the drink.

Do you know what I mean? Yes. You crack a joke and they take you seriously, I think, oh, I was done joking. What's happened to you? Well, actually,

I've recently just been a bit like, I'll get my hinge up so you can see. He was quite sexy, that guy that you were showing me yesterday. So I messaged him, right, there's this guy,

I found him on Hinge, and then he did the classic, what's your Insta handle, which I hate. I just think, meh. Anyway, I gave it to him because desperate at the moment, got no one else in the backlog. Got no one on the bench. That's a good thing to have.

I've had a few on the bench, but they've all sacked me off. Yes, have a reserve list. Yes, my reserve list is dry. And they should be at least three people on there. Three to four, I would say, is good for maintenance levels. No less. I've got zero currently, so I'm trying to fill up the reserves with this guy.

Anyway, we were meant to go on a date on Saturday, aka two days' time. I messaged him today. I thought, he's still on for Saturday. He said, can you do early afternoon, not evening? And I thought, can't actually, I'm busy. We said evening, therefore I filled my day. So now I probably won't see him. And also, I'm sorry can't actually, I'm busy. We said evening, therefore I filled my day. So now I probably won't see him.

And also, I'm sorry to say it, but first time early afternoon. Some people love a coffee date. I'm just going to check my engine now, since we're talking about it. We must just swipe through Matthew because he's a no. Sorry. Right, let's do a recap, girls. Number one, move into London if you're alone. Be bold, be brave, put yourself out there.

Put yourself in a dating mindset. Date London. Good. Go on a date with London. Find a way to fall in love with London because I know we shit on it all the time and it can be an absolute sack of shit around here. But some days you might get one day that you just think,

oh my God, how lucky am I to live here. Must go to the river. You know? The only time I feel it is when I'm by that river. No, that's not true, babe. On a summer's day, like when the sun sets. Soho 2am, sometimes I feel it. Do you know what I mean?

How lucky I am to live here. Like, you know, especially when you first move here. Remind yourself why you moved here. The 9 plus. Babe, I'm sorry. Of all the things yourself why you moved here. The night bus, babe. I'm sorry. Of all the things to put on the list of things to be grateful for. Well, when you get home for £2.50 from a very good night out, I think, wow, door-to-door service.

I was going to say, like, Chinatown. Chinatown? Oh, sod off. I actually cannot even believe that you've said that because i never leave so i think that we should actually burn you and cremate you and spread your ashes in the garden at dean street i'm not joking if we're talking about places most frequented in her entire lifetime it's soho house i never go to dean street i never go to Dean Street. Don't I never. I never go to Dean Street. I went once for that burger.

Never been again. Number two, Mrs. Anal, I think, is star of the week. What do you think? Mrs. Anal? Sorry, what? She's a bit of a control freak. Did I fall asleep? Oh, sorry.

I thought you were talking about, she would take your lights up the bum. I thought, did I fucking miss something around here? Mrs. Anal, please don't hate being Mrs. Anal. Yeah, embrace it. Embrace, as my therapist says, you must appreciate, love and nurture

all parts of you because they're what make you you. Find a way to dial up or dial down where necessary. Good. But, you know, in the places that you need it, why not? No, I'm not.

I'm engaged. You're doing so well. Embrace it. Dial it up when you need to, potentially at work. Dial it down when you need to let your hair down and have a good time. Yeah. That's the top tip. Dial up, dial down.

Number three, you're on the dating apps. Persistence, my queen. Keep going. Stay strong. Stay safe. have a good time get the night bus always get the night bus home so that actually

was a good showcase from the Emily's that if you don't like the topics we ask for not to worry ignore us send in your own voice notes well actually

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I wonder what Ali and G would say about this dilemma in my mind or this question I need answering. Just voice note us. We're open 24-7. Poppy never sleeps. She's there. Got the phone open.

She's on it. Please, we love you. Subscribe. Leave a review. Make sure you leave five stars. Otherwise, don't bother. Yeah, don't bother if She's on it. Please. We love you. Subscribe. Leave a review. Make sure you leave five stars. Otherwise, don't bother. Yeah. Don't bother if it's a four.

Can you imagine? I find a three most offensive. Oh, God. We've had this conversation before. Because I got a class pass three. And for my teaching, not for this. We aren't on class pass for this. For my spin instructing.

Why don't you give me a three? Give me a one or a five. Otherwise, don't bother. Three is bang average. If you think we're bang average, either move on. Keep it to yourself and don't listen again.

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