Leave A Message with Ally & G - 50 - A Family Gathering & A Ruined Pair of Fluffy Socks

Episode Date: February 12, 2025

Straight from selling out two Leave A Message LIVE shows (we'll see you in person in March!), Ally & G are here with another episode of your favourite podcaster's favourite podcast: Leave A Message. How do you navigate love bombing? After a Gally has noticed a pattern of partners starting off very interested... only to eventually lose interest... how can you tell apart a complimentary partner to someone just trying to use you and dump you down the line? We have the lowdown on when a compliment turns complex. Plus, what does a family gathering, a ruined pair of fluffy socks and vomit have in common? One of the Gally's first date experiences! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get groceries delivered across the GTA from real Canadian Superstore with PC Express. Shop online for super prices and super savings. Try it today and get up to $75 in PC Optimum Points. Visit superstore.ca to get started. TD Direct Investing offers live support, so whether you're a newbie or a seasoned pro, you can make your investing steps count. And if you're like me and think a TFSA stands for Total Fund Savings Adventure,

maybe reach out to TD Direct Investing. I can't lie to everyone, the behind the scenes of Bridget Jones before we got there. I have to say Ickle. I-C-L means I can't lie. Oh sorry, Ickle. I-C-L. Yeah, it was just a little bit hectic, wasn't it? Yeah, it was a little bit of pandemonium, chaos, last minute madness as we like. You know, we don't do things easily here at Allie and G Limited, so it wouldn't actually be an event day without something, always something goes wrong just before. Last time it my dress ripped. This time I basically didn't try on my tights.

Oh, I tried on a pair of tights, but then those weren't the tights I brought, which was just like, honestly so stupid. So then Olivia had to run out to Calzedonia and buy me 55. We spent like £500 on tights by the end of the... No, the bill came through. £67 only. It's not ideal. It could have been avoided. I thought it was going to be 150 quid.

I'll buy you some dinner for that. I'll let it off. £67, I think, is a bargain, to be honest with you. But we managed it and God love Fran, because I kept ripping them. So Fran then, we went to hire Denier. Denier? Yeah, because I was a fool. A fool to go to hire Denier. Denier? Yeah, because I was a fool to go eat Denier. So we went to 15 and thank God Fran managed to get them on me and we made it.

And it was great, wasn't it? It was amazing. And like, you know, all the chaos, like as soon as you get in the car, you just sort of like forget because like then you're just like on adrenaline. Yeah. You get on the carpet and like it's just mad. Also, you are just, I always think it's like being on one of those Hollywood tours. Like it's like we're on a little bus and we're like celebspotting. Also, you are just... I always think it's like being on one of those Hollywood tours.

Like, it's like we're on a little bus and we're like celeb-spotting. Like, me and Al were stood by the door. Like, security were desperate to move us along. So anyway, it was great and like, Renee looked gorgeous. And the whole cast were there apart from Colin, Emma Thompson. Oh, Emma Thompson. We were sad to miss Emma. She couldn't be there. I do always wonder, what are you doing? Yeah, what is more important, Emma Thompson. Oh, Emma Thompson. We were sad to miss Emma. She couldn't be there. I do always wonder, what are you doing?

Yeah, what is more important, Emma? They must be filming something, because that's the only reason that you would miss something. Yes. Or you're out of the country. In another country, yeah. But like... It must be written into your contract that you have to do the premiere.

Surely. I thought Leo would all look fantastic. I hated his suit. I just feel so sad. His brown suit. Because it was just like high-waisted as well. It was giving a bit like 1960s, 70s. You know those men that just like...

Some people, like Harry Styles pulls that off. Do you not think? When he wears a high-waist. Yeah, I do. But he doesn't do a full brown suit. He doesn't do a corduroy. No, a corduroy. That was what really threw me over the edge, actually.

Yeah. But no, it was really goodroy. No, corduroy, that was what really threw me over the edge actually. Yeah. But guys, we sat front row. We walked in, we thought, oh, we'll be in the gods. Front row. Yeah, because for Wicked, we were in the gods. In the gods. The gods of all gods. And also, well, we were in the gods, but also the cast always sit in the gods.

Yeah, they do. For Wicked, they sat pretty much right in front of us. Because they reserve them a row and they are quite far back. I was thinking it must be incredible to watch it with everyone. People were whooping and crying and cheering. Imagine you've made that film and then you're so pleased that the crowd is receptive. Although I don't know if they had a premiere in Paris. Yeah, they did.

But after a couple of screenings, you must be like, oh. No, she said it was the first time they were watching it. Oh, fine. Yeah, they all said it was the first time. No, but the wicked lot must have watched that film a hundred times. Oh, my God. Back to front, round and round. Yeah, no, it was amazing. And that sexy.

You will be jaw on the floor. I thought it was really... They've got proper chem. Renee and Numblio. He's so sexy. Like, real chem. It was sexy. Me and Al were both like feet up, like, ah! Ah! Oh, my God! I'm a chem, Renee and I'm Leo. He's so sexy. Like real chem. It was sexy. Me and Al were both like feet up like, ah! Ah!

Oh my god! It was so good. So good. Wow. Hugh Grant was like, his character was so funny and dry. He was like a dirty old perv. Like exactly what you'd want him to be. Yeah, he was great.

Yeah, it was amazing. But yeah, the celebs sporting it, all those things, it's just always like totally, oh! We met, guys, we met the traitors. Oh my god, we met Alexander from the traitors. Rihanna's looking blank-faced, she doesn't watch it. Shame. If you're listening and you watch the traitors, you'll know. Oh, a real king of all kings. He was so nice to us.

I basically said, I would die if I didn't say hello, and he went, well, we don't want that. Smooth as fuck. Charlotte wasn't so nice, we don't want that. Smooth as fuck. Charlotte wasn't so nice. Sorry, no defamation. No defamation. I think she was a bit flustered because, like, you know, we had no clothes on and I costed her. Well, also, poor Charlotte. I do think she's getting a bit of hate, which she was. Also, she was talking about it. I can't remember what it was on.

Maybe her and Frankie were on Cosmopolitan or something. Something like that. And she was saying, like, everyone was like, like asking me about the experience when I got home and she was like, because the last 48 hours of my experience there was so traumatic, she was like, I just kind of like didn't really deep any of it. And then I didn't even think about the nice time I'd had because it was so full on, like the lying. Yeah.

Crazy. So anyway, yeah, it was, it was really fun. Sorry, before we get into the intro, we best say thank you everyone who bought tickets to Lamb Live. Can you go? Dead on the floor. Well, the thing is, I knew this would happen because you guys are such legends. Yeah, and we know that people that listen really like listen and care, so thank you. But you know, there's listening and caring and then there's passing with your 20 quid, so thank you.

And your Friday night, but Promise will make it so fun. Maybe we'll come out, you know, in's listening and caring and then there's passing with your 20 quid. So thank you. And your Friday night, but Promise will make it so fun. Maybe we'll come out, you know, in a little naked number. I don't know. You'll have to wait and see. I was head of styling, so I'll just be told what I'm wearing. I will say I was proud of myself for our... It was actually G's... We jumped off G's vision platform for Bridget Jones, but I was pleased with how the final look turned out. With the two of us.

The two of us. It is much harder than I think people realise. Yeah, it's very easy to get it wrong, I suppose. And also, it's really easy to just be generic, and we don't want to be generic. Generic? Who wants to be generic? Who wants that? I was looking last night for something we can't talk about, but you're going to shit your pants when we announce what it is.

When we disclose. When we reveal. last night for something that we can't actually talk about, but you're going to shit your pants when we announce what it is. Let me just close. When we reveal. Why is it so top secret? Because nothing's ever set in stone. Well, also because it's not confirmed yet. So imagine we start blagging about it and then it's like pulled from under us. That wouldn't be ideal, would it? Please can we enjoy the episode?

Yeah, sorry, we can. What I just wanted to quickly say is that I was looking for some style in Spoke. There are no female duos. I saw she's really rinsing Kendall and Kylie over there. Because they're really the only ones that ever bother. That do it, well, that bother to do it together. Exactly. Females.

And this is our big opportunity now. Oh, wow, here we really come into our own. OK, welcome to Leave A Message. This is the podcast where we take your stories' dilemmas, you send them to us in voice notes. By the way, producer Rohana has been thrilled and inundated with- With the quality.

Yes, with some top quality voice notes and she's very grateful and she'd like you to keep them coming, thank you. Yeah, basically, I'm G, this is Ali, together we're Ali and G, and we take the voice notes and we create a safe space for them to be aired and for us to all react to them. We listen and we don't judge on this podcast.

Always. And even when we do judge, it's with love. And this week, the galleys must be called... What will the galleys be called this week? Last week, they were Bridgette. Charlotte. Charlotte. I was just about to say Charlotte because we're going to Charlotte Tilbury later.

You're reading my mind. Have you met her yet? Yes. Oh no, we lied. We've been in the same room as her. Okay, but we were pretty close and she was talking and we thought we were in a cult. But we never said, hello Charlotte, nice to meet you.

That's never happened for us. No, no. Can you just send me like a personalized video and you do me a favor? Are you a big Charlotte Hill fan? Darling. Darling. No, Rihanna.

Rihanna, darling. You honestly think you've been transported to another world. I'm not joking. She's an incredible woman. Charlotte number one. Hey, girlies. I just wanted to leave a message about my second date with my college boyfriend. This was several years ago now and I'd asked him out on our first date which was the middle of December.

We'd already been best friends for a long time so I had met his parents a couple of times before but we decided that our second date would be New Year's Eve celebrations at their house and we did this big fancy dinner like they always do, there was a lot of drinking and whatever but he got so unbelievably drunk. He was a total lightweight but he was kind of saying some inappropriate like sexist jokes and stuff enough that his mum and I were giving each other looks all night like okay. At one thirty or so we go to bed and we get into his bedroom and he immediately just starts trying to kiss me and he puts his hands all over me and he's like, oh, why don't you want

to kiss me? Why don't you want to sleep with me? Because that was kind of when we planned to sort of do it for the first time. And at this point, I'm getting a bit overwhelmed and a bit tearful, so I go to the bathroom, have a little cry and I ring my friend and I come out and I think, okay, maybe he'll apologize. Did he fuck? No. I had a little cry and I rang my friend and I come out and I think, okay, maybe he'll apologize. Did he fuck? No. He was asleep, passed out on the mattress. I thought, oh, lush, it's our second date and I've been crying in the bathroom whilst this man is asleep.

But I know, I go to bed, but then a few minutes later he gets out and he throws up everywhere, all over the bathroom, all over me, all over my pink fluffy socks. It was devastating. And I go get his mum and we get him back into bed. We have to undress him and we have to change his bed sheets three times that night because he kept throwing up all over himself in his sleep. So we spent our first date with his mother and I undressing him whilst he was unconscious, which is so embarrassing for him, but also embarrassing for me that I didn't take that as a red flag and I stayed for two whole years. He did this all the time in our relationship by the way. Oh and then at the end of our relationship he shat himself in airport costumes in America. Fully like diarrhea dripping down the leg, fully shat himself in public. It was hilarious but obviously at the time I had to be a supportive

girlfriend so I cleaned the shit off of his trainers. And then he dumped me five weeks later. Yeah, that was... that was him. So I hope you've enjoyed. Sorry, my mic's off. Wow. God, you must find a man that can control their barrels. I was going to say, listen, I've even got IBS and I don't think I'll be shitting in airport customs. There's a lot to say here and I'm going to get everyone ready.

A little bit serious. Just for a sec. say here and I'm going to get everyone ready a little bit serious. Just for a sec. Then I'll be funny again, okay? Okay, hold on to your hats, kids. Just settle in. I think when you're with a partner who changes significantly when they drink, Oh yeah, totally. It's like, it's not, it's a non-negotiable. Like, I don't think you can be with that person until they sort. Oh yeah. It's like it's not it's a non-negotiable like I don't

think you can be with that person until they sort their shit out because especially when you're a girl and your partner might be a lot heavier than you, a lot bigger than you and you are constantly put in positions where they don't respect you or care for your safety when they've had a drink because they just want a shag. That's really dangerous. And I think we kind of like push it under the rug a tiny bit because we're just like, oh, he's drunk. He just gets like that when he's drunk. And he's my boyfriend and he loves me and normally we have nice sex. But it's like, no, no, like in that moment, he's not taking care of you. And if he doesn't have the sense

whilst he's drinking to be able to knock himself out of it. I don't think you're safe with that person. I don't think you should be with them. Really. Well, it depends if they are like a messy drunk. Like just like... Listen, the sick I can forgive. But like, yeah, the sex, like the... The pestering, the force.

But like if, I think, yeah, I think it's a sliding scale because like there are some people that just like can't hold a drink and they're just like, you know those people that you just think, oh my God, I'm going to have to look after him tonight. Yes, but there is also even on that level a conversation to have. Oh, a hundred percent. Your drinking isn't good. Well, look, let's talk about Molly May.

Let's talk about Molly May. Because she basically said that about Tommy, that, you know, the alcohol really was, even though he wasn't an alcoholic, when he drinks, he's a different person and so it's someone that you genuinely don't recognise. Like that's really scary. It's really scary. And when you're not when that person isn't taking responsibility for that, because they're

not really conscious when they're that drunk, they don't know how bad it is. And they they think you're kind of overreacting or they can't remember genuinely. It's a problem. Yeah, I agree. I think we do brush it under the rug. It's like, oh, he just likes a drink, but it's not that. It's like he loses himself. By the way, this is both ways, he or she. The only problem with the like, sometimes I do think that men even forget their full force sometimes. I've got friends, their partners weigh double their weight and are fucking a foot taller than them or whatever. It's scary.

Even if they don't mean to hurt you, they're big and I think you've got to protect yourself. I 100% agree, but I think also I do know girls do know girls that, like, as do you, that... Yeah, you get drunk, you throw things. You use force in different ways, girls. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm not saying it's like all bad, all men, hashtag all men and I hate them, but I am just saying, like, yeah, okay, vice versa. If you feel unsafe when your partner drinks... Or you feel like you just genuinely don't want to...

Like, you know that thing where it... You don't like them or they get aggy... You don't even want to be in the same room as them. Also, you know that thing where it... You don't like them or they get aggy. You don't even want to be in the same room as them. Also, the sexist comments, like, I'd be like, okay, if you say that when you're drunk, you do think that. You just filter yourself daily. And I'm just like, I can't...

With that, like, next time, babe, we leave after that, I reckon. Do you know what I mean? I don't know what we're waiting to find out. Sometimes we wait to see if... Listen, I've been guilty of this, so I'm like, no blame, because I've done it. I would blame myself for that too. But like... Wait to make sure that you're sure.

Wait to make sure, like, it's not that bad, or can it get worse? It's like you're like waiting for a sequel. Horrible. I was talking about this yesterday with someone. When they show you who they are, believe them first time. Why do we give people so much grace? Like, okay, a couple of times maybe you can get them off the hook. The fallout sometimes, if it's dealt with in a way that's like sincerely apologetic, embarrassed for my behaviour,

like that also has a lot to play. But like if that's a repeated pattern of fucking up, sincerely apologise, fucking up, you're not really sorry. Because if you were sorry, you would change your behaviour. Yeah, agreed. And I don't know, I just think if it's happened, if it happened or happened multiple times, sadly you've got to draw a line somewhere and draw your boundary,

which is really difficult when they're drunk. Yeah, I know. And listen, a lot can be excused. Alcohol's powerful stuff and everyone says if we found it now, it wouldn't be legalised. So, 100%, sometimes, there are moments... Listen, I've been picked up off the floor by partners before and taken home and, like, babied because I've been so sick and poorly. And I would not want that person to leave me because of that, obviously. I'm just talking about like the extra layer when you become a different person in the

way that it gets like nasty or pressurizing or whatever it is. Or it's like a regular occurrence. And it's regular. Yeah, you can't be getting that Sikki Vikki like every time. No. Because then you would say to your partner, we're getting a lot of sicky vicky over here and I can't be cleaning the sheets that many times with you, mum. Well, also, like, it's not fair on me.

No. Because, like, I'm having a fun night and then, like, I'm just becoming, you know, I'm coming home at 10 to look after you and it's, like, selfish. Yeah. But yeah, I think it's definitely a conversation in general. I don't know, I just think that about, like, I think this is something, again, that people kind of brush over in the beginning of a relationship is, like, I do think your relationship with alcohol individually has to kind of match. Yeah, I think this is something again that people kind of brush over in the beginning of a relationship is like, I do think your relationship with alcohol individually has to kind of match.

Yeah, I think you might be right. Because like, if I was with someone who like wanted to drink every single night at home, I would really find that hard because I don't really drink. So it's like, why do you feel the need? I mean, maybe that's a really judgmental thing, but like, or like even on a Saturday, like I wouldn't like if he was like, Oh, let's go get a glass of wine at three, I'd be like, that's not very fun for me. Yes, he were the opposite. I couldn't be with someone that didn't want a glass of wine on a Sunday at three. Yeah, exactly.

So maybe alignment is like something to be told. Like, okay, Sunday glass of wine is not like the biggest deal, but like in general, if you're drinking all the time, you don't drink every day, babe. If you were with someone that came home and sunk two beers every single night, the energy is very different. Yeah. Totally different vibe.

Babe, I'm glad you're not with him anymore. Yeah, well done. And I'm also glad he shot himself in customs. Because it feels like he deserved that. That was karma. So sweet. So sweet. Yeah. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave A Message.

If you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now this can be about anything. Obviously sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Number two. Hi guys. This isn't really a... Oh, I sound like I'm fucking doing an interview. I'm so sorry. This isn't really a dilemma. It's more of a like, how do you navigate love bombing?

Because I've been love bombed by everyone I've ever been with. And do you know what? It's not ideal. I'm kind of over it. And it's just annoying. At this point, they love me for about two months. And then it's like, OK, bye. I'm just a bit bored of that.

And now I'm just really wary of anyone that shows any interest. I also find they always want to get to know me by my looks and I guess that's what you've got to go off. But I just find that so like, you only think I'm good looking. I don't know, any advice would be greatly appreciated. Love you both. Babe, thrilled for you that you're so fit, number one. That's epic. What a win. That is what you picked up on. Yeah. No, I'll get to the love bombing, don't worry.

There's a lot to unpack with love bombing. It's really difficult because I think it also happens in loads of different ways. Some people are way more subtle in the way that they start love bombing and take it away. And then some people are like the hot and cold. It's your responsibility maybe now that you've clocked it that that's a pattern to kind of call them out on it. Because also every single person is different. Someone might genuinely be getting swept up in the fact that they think they're in love with you

after like two months. And that is a different conversation to someone who is like using the love bombing as a ploy to to make you feel wanted, desired, and then to be with them. So that you're pining after them, because as soon as they take that away, you're like, what? Because I think some people genuinely can get over excited when they have a feeling that they haven't had before. And I think the only thing you need to say is, I really appreciate that we're really liking getting to know each other, but maybe we just like hold that language. Because I love you after two months is a lot.

Well, also, it's like, what are some classic signs of love boring? I love you. Really early doors. I think I'm falling for you. A lot of like compliments. Like showering you in like with like flowers or like, you know, like unwanted, not unwanted, but a bit unnecessary. I over exaggeration of their show of like affection. I would also say it's a bit of like,

I don't know if this is a symptom or if this is like something that they would intend to do, but like when you are being loved for, do you sometimes like retreat from your like normal life Yeah, I think there's a lot of like you're not like other girls are you're like the only person I want to spend my time with at the moment Lanting seeds like oh, I don't like this friend or like it's all of that sort because it kind of becomes Yeah, yeah, and I think that's what starts to happen and to be honest

I think it's really hard to tell whether you're being loved or not until they take it away. The fact that you know this means that you're not like blind to it. Which is good, because I think it genuinely can be hard when you're just swept up in a new relationship and you think they're just being really like on you and into you. Yes. But even that, now I'm older and now I've dated so many different people, I'm like, you should have

enough going on in your life that that doesn't really happen anymore. Of course you get excited about someone you can think, God they're quite good on paper and God they might be the one, but I'm saying that to you, the girls, I'm not saying that to them in the early days. I might be showing them with the way I want to spend time with them, with the way they're hanging out, but I'm not saying that really early doors because you're not going to be my everything after two weeks. You can maintain a sense of... I think this is what happens. You lose all sense of logic because it's just like...

I read this book about it actually that basically when you fall in love, your brain basically doesn't work. Like fully your logic is like fully inhibited. But if you can try and maintain some level of logic where like, if he is saying I love you in two weeks, rather than being like, oh my God, you could be like, that is actually a bit weird. And you can say to them like, oh, that feels fast for me. Yeah. You can say, or like, I don't need XYZ to feel wanted by you.

I think a lot of it is just like checking yourself every time to be like, does that actually sit well? Do I like it? Or am I just like excited? Because excited is often confused with lust. Also, that level of flattery does not last. It cannot. They can't even keep up with themselves.

Like, no one can. Well, also, of course it then goes away because sort of like run out of things to say, really. And then, of course, you're in the dynamic where you're pining after them and wanting that, because it's like, you know, you've been having cake and then someone's offering you a carrot and you're like, doesn't quite add up. Why would I eat the carrot? I want the cake. I've noticed this about guys, well, just from my experience as a heterosexual lady, that they'll get really enthralled in a person and then they'll like throw everything at them. And then as soon as they're like, damn, this is really intense,

because they've made it intense, they like fall back. Yes. Like they disappear. Or as soon as the like, girl, woman, whoever, relaxes into it, and also allows themselves to be like, I really dig you too. Then it's like, whoa, pressure. Avoidant.

Avoidant. Press the avoidant button. Get me out. Yeah. Oh, sadly though, there's no way to protect yourself against that. Like, you can't do anything to stop that from happening in reality. No. Because like, if they're avoidant, they're avoidant.

And if they're not ready, they're not ready. I think a lot of it with men, and I am talking quite generally here, I do think men are ready later in life. Yeah. And if you're expecting, which is heartbreaking, but if you're expecting a man to be on your emotional level, you can be let down. But also, you have got to with the guys that are that.

But they're showing you something different. It's so frustrating because they come in so hot, so hard. You think you're mad. And also, I think part of it is them convincing themselves, to be honest. And that's why they go so big in the beginning. And then they panic or whatever happens. I just wanted to quickly talk about the looks thing. Yeah.

I think it is, I actually just don't love the term red flag because I think it's so more nuanced than that. But I do think when someone is complimenting you solely based on the way you look, I think that's something to just acknowledge because I don't think it's a great indication. So I don't look like this all the time, fucking hell, you should see me on a Sunday morning. Exactly. Or like, cool, but I kind of want you to love me for the bits that aren't that. Do you know how much of a 360 person I am and you're only loving like degree one?

And also I want you to like me. Like, I really want to get to like three, four, five, six months in and me be a kind of person that you want to be around. I've been guilty of it. I have been with men because I'm like, my loins are on fire and I fancy you. I don't like them. I had this thing the other day. So a friend of mine is a mutual friend with one of my exes. Wait, hold on.

A friend of mine. Yeah, got it. She's having a birthday party. She sits me down. She's like, I just didn't, I don't really know. I'll just approach this. I feel a bit awkward about it. We'll call him Darren. Darren's coming to my birthday. Yeah. And I'm like, thinking about it, I haven't seen him since we broke up. I was 20. And I'm like, do you know what? No worries. I never liked Darren. I loved him at the time. I thought I did.

I fancied the pants off him and I felt so honored that he fancied me. That was like the main dynamic of our relationship. That's a good one. Because I thought he was fair. So I was like, 50 fancies me. Epic, low self-esteem, self-esteem on the floor. I don't like him as a person.

I know that now. I really wouldn't ever choose to spend time with him and I definitely wouldn't want to be stuck on an island with him. So I'm not worried about seeing him at the birthday party, do you know what I mean? But when you're in that dynamic and you're a bit blinded by lust, you never really stop to think, do I like them?

And I think if you're on the receiving end of someone who really fancies you and is putting you on a pedestal, you have to stop and think, do I like them? Do I actually like them or do I really like the way they make my ego feel? Because they make me feel fit and wanted. And that feels nice, obviously. I know it's not a very, like, you know, popular, sexy thing to say, but like, the reality is, you need to love your best mate, really.

Like, it doesn't... Listen, of course you have to fancy them. I'm not saying that, like, you don't have to have the spark or some chemistry or some level of, like, oh, I really fancy them. But, like, there's so much more to life than just that. Yeah. Yeah. So you are responsible, especially if you're, like, fit and you present in a way that, like, men really like.

That you know men are going to go for that. Your long hair, you've got your shit together, you dress well, your face is done. Do you know what I mean? Boys like it. It's your job to tear down the wall, day one. Day one, get in deep, babe, ask him something. Have you ever shat yourself? Go there, ask them the big questions.

And don't just play into their narrative of, I'm just a pretty girl. Because also it's too easy. We've all done it. It's so easy to just flick your hair and suck a dick and you're away. It's just like easy, but like do more because you are responsible for doing more. Sorry, suck a dick was strong. I didn't mean that.

I just meant like if I was to play on my feminine power, I'll be on my knees and then I've got them. Do you know what I mean? It's easy. I might not ask them about how they feel about like maternity pay and paternity pay being equal. Do you know what I mean? I might not it's easy. I might not ask them about how they feel about like, maternity pay and paternity pay being equal. Do you know what I mean? I might not have those combos. Yeah, yeah.

And maybe I should. Because then they're not just going to look at me as like... Like a pretty thing. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Round up? Yeah, baby.

Charlotte number one. Vommie Bommie. Oh, Vommie Bommie. Ah, Vommie Bommie. Very good to tell stories like that. I agree. Listen, if everyone, you know when you go to those dinner parties and people are like, what's your craziest story? Good thing you banked one, babe.

Yes, and good thing for the other girls who like might, because there might be girls listening to this that are a bit like, I don't love it when my boyfriend drinks. Also, I do think it's a bit of a taboo subject, even amongst girls. Like, it's a bit embarrassing to sit there and say, my boyfriend is a messy violent drunk. Not violent, but like... But do you know what I mean? He makes me feel uncomfortable when he's drunk.

That's something that, like, even as women together, it's a really hard topic to come across. Because you know the girls are going to be like, that's bad. Dump him. Yeah. And you don't want that. So you hide it and you keep it to yourself going to be like, that's bad. Dump him. Yeah. And you don't want that. So you hide it and you keep it to yourself because you're like, God, I would hate someone

to have seen him like that. Exactly. And how he spoke to me or the jokes he made that felt a bit sexist or, you know, yeah, you're right. It becomes something that you're embarrassed of and then you don't share it and you need to because if it's something you can't say aloud, you know it's wrong. Yeah, so thanks for sharing that because like, I know we got a bit serious, but it's something you can't say aloud, you know it's wrong. Yeah, so thanks for sharing that because I know we got a bit serious, but it's important. But also, it is something that if you feel like your friends might judge you,

preface it and say, I need to say something and I would actually really appreciate it if basically no one said anything. Because I'm actually not ready to dump him based on this, but I need to talk about it. Yeah. Yeah. Because I get it.

Yeah. Especially, I know you were in the early stages of dating, but if you're having those conversations three years in, you're more than made with a kid, like it's a very different conversation to have because you're telling your family or friends the world X, but you are rooted and stuck in Y. But also you're telling them really that you put up with it. And you tolerate it. Yeah. And you've chosen to do so. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry about that babe. Glad you're up with it. And you tolerate it. And you've chosen to do so. Yeah.

Sorry about that babe. Glad you're not with him. Charlotte number two, love bombing. I mean, this is a whole separate part of that episode actually. I haven't been love bombed in a long time to be fair. Paul Brunson talks a lot about love bombing and it's really fascinating. I would say, yeah, I just think... I would say, stay awake.

I would say, stay awake and I would say, stay awake, and I would say, don't ignore, and like, don't... You know. You know when it's someone just genuinely starting to catch feelings for you at the same pace as you are, and you know the difference between someone trying to... I also think it's so, like, language-based. There's a difference between that, someone getting feelings at the same pace as you. Even if that's fast, the language is always... I don't know what the difference is, but like... Well, yeah, because it's always prefaced with like, I know this is crazy, but I'm feeling. Or like, I know...

The way it comes out is so much more tentative. Whereas if you're being love-bonded, it's strong and it's just there. So true. It's not like I know. As if it's fact. And that is worrying. Because you don't know me, actually. I would say for the first year of dating someone, you don't know them. I'd say longer. Two years, you reckon?

Yeah. I honestly do think that because someone can hold a mask up for two years easily. Yeah. Especially if you don't live together. Or never be put in situations where that mask needs to fall down. Yeah. Thanks girls, great voice notes. Should we do Question of the Week? Talking of love bombing, the question was,

have you ever been love bombed? This is interesting. I thought more people were going to say yes. What do you think? I actually don't think it's a huge percentage of people. 55% of people said yes, and No Never was 45%. 55%? Yeah.

Wow, I'm definitely not in that 55%. No, I think I've had like timid love bombing. Ever in my life. No, I've definitely had love bombing actually. They didn't want to love me with love bombing. Well, you've been with Raw for a long time, babe. No, but even before that. I know. had love bombing actually. They didn't want to love me, they've loved bombing. Well you've been with Raw for a long time babe. I know but even before that. And we were young.

They were young, the boys were young then, they couldn't be asked to love bomb. It's a toxic older man thing. And now this is interesting, bearing in mind our audience is mainly female. Have you ever love bombed? 81% said no. 19% said guilty. Guilty of a bit of love bombing. Well done for coming clean everybody. And now we've got some experiences.

Oh yes! They love bombed me for two weeks, a lot, then ghosted me, literally wiped me off the planet. Oh my god, it's a textbook. Classic. Guy kept saying he was going to make me his girlfriend and setting expectations, then ghost, it's all ending in ghosting. I think I'm being love bombed currently, send help. Okay, listen to this.

This guy told me he loves me after one day and sleeping together twice. Yeah, it's a no. That's a no. But what... Okay, listen, we listen and we don't judge. But what I don't understand is how can that happen to you and for you to go, oh my God, yeah, I love him too? Or like, oh, good for you, you love me.

Yeah, no, no, no. No, no. I'd be like, you need to go to hospital and have your head checked. Crazy. Love bombed by my toxic ex-best friend. Turns out she was a narcissist. It was all a bit wild. I've... Yeah. We haven't spoken about it in friendships, but... It does happen.

Hot and cold exists everywhere. You've got to be careful. People have that dynamic with their parents. Like, it's very... It can be anywhere. And we didn't even think to discuss that, so maybe we'll put that on the list. Maybe we'll pick that up next week, too. Or the week after. Or the week after that. We don't like to promise anything around here, because as soon as we do that, we're in trouble.

Yeah. Is this episode 50, by the way? Congrats! Well done, team. That's really good. That's a whole year, almost. Not yet. 52, two more weeks to go. Not until March. Can you believe it?

I know. I imagine it the date exactly. What is it? March 6th. Wow, March 6th. Two days before International Women's Day. I like the way we work around here. Wow. Guys, have a great day. Don't get love-bombed. Will we get some one-year balloons?

Oh, yeah. On the 6th of March, I reckon. And I'm very serious. I've told everyone in our lives, I do want the 250k balloons. I want a cake. Great. You mean on TikTok? Yes. So those are the two milestones we want balloons for.

The one year of the pod, mean on TikTok? Yes. So those are the two milestones we want balloons for. The one year of the pod, 250 on TikTok. Great. Hopefully they'll all happen around about the same time. Yeah. In a dream world. Yeah, we'll do it. One party.

Yeah. Cut the budget. Thanks for listening, team. Love you all. See you next week. Bye. Bye. Get ready for Las Vegas style action at Bet MGM, the king of online casinos. Enjoy casino games at your fingertips with the same Vegas strip excitement MGM is famous

for when you play classics like MGM Grand Millions or popular games like Blackjack, Baccarat and Roulette. With our ever-growing library of digital slot games, a large selection of online table games and signature BetMGM service, there is no better way to bring the excitement and ambiance of Las Vegas home to you than with BetMGM Casino. Download the BetMGM Casino app today. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly.

BetMGM.com for tees and Cs. 19 Plus to Wager. Ontario only. Please play responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact ConX Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Bet MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.