Leave A Message with Ally & G - 56 - A Valentine's Day Affair? And Knowing When To Move On...

Episode Date: March 26, 2025

We're not even over Leave A Message LIVE yet and here we are with a brand new episode of the podcast! Time flies when you're having fun... and we've had a lot of fun (thanks for coming to the live show, if you did!). On this week's episode, Ally & G start off by tackling London's transport crisis - from rising train costs to unreliable schedules. Yes, it's Gally for Mayor! Once we're over that... it's time for your dilemmas. From workplace romances gone wrong (of course) to a scandalous Valentine's Day affair, we're full of relationship dramas and workplace crushes. Plus, how do you move on when you have to interface with your ex? In this week's Question of the Week we're asking: Have you ever had a work crush? Thank you to this weeks sponsor... Use the coupon LEAVEAMESSAGE for an additional 8% off at emma-sleep.co.uk. Terms and conditions on the website, the code is valid on the whole website (excluding outlet products). Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Rise to rewards with the BMO Eclipse Rise Visa Card. Terms and conditions apply. When you get into an Escape Plug-in Hybrid, you get the perfect mix. You can chill in electric mode, turn it up in gas mode, or get the best of both in hybrid mode. Choose how you move in the all-in-one Escape. And right now, get a $3,000 rebate on the Escape Plug-in Hybrid and all 2025 Escape models. For details, visit your Toronto area Ford store or ford.ca. I came here today with a piece of Current Affairs.

Oh, good. Listen, this is not a Current Affairs podcast. Obviously. But I feel like I must share some sad news. Oh, no. Do you know that you're now, have you ever, you will have, you must have seen them at Tube Stations. There's one in my house.

The library, the libraries in the Tube Stations, the book exchanges. Take a book, leave a book. Not allowed, no longer allowed, banned from the city of London. Why? Fire hazard. Watched the news last night and that's what they said. What? The book's going to just spontaneously combust.

Apparently it's a fire hazard. How sad is that? I thought it was going to be a germ thing. And I just think, listen, this city is so cold and mean, and one of the few kind things that people do for each other is leave books at the tube stations. Is it only in London? Yeah, because I don't know. Because there's one in a phone box in our village.

I don't know. I'm sure that's still allowed. Surely. For some reason, they've just stopped book exchanges. I didn't even know that was a thing so it might be a Southwest situation. No, it's a UK wide thing and they often have it at places like doctors surgeries or they have it all over the place not just at the tube. I know, I know but I'm saying specifically they've stopped the tube once.

Oh just on the tube. Okay well there must be something going on in the tube that is flammable. I know. So they've put the prices up and now I can't even get a book. All right. Yeah. Wild. You tell them, babe. You fucking tell them. I was looking at the yearly passes for TFL. They're £1,500 for the year. That's it? I reckon you spend more. I think that's a bargain.

That's a lot. Depends on your zones though. A month, that's about... Quick maths. 125 quid? I reckon you could spend that easily in a month. I'd hate to look at you, I never know. I never know. Wait, 1500?

Yeah. That's anywhere all the time. No, I think it zones one to three. When do you ever leave zone three? Me? I'm always in zone six. Fucking Tottenham Hill. Oh, I'd love to know actually whether that is more like cheap. I don't know how much it's... I never download my TFL statement ever. I'm not wanting know actually whether that is more like cheap.

I don't know how much I never download my TFL statement. I'm not wanting to look at that because also I get the overground as well. So I just know mine is disgusting. Is the overground more? Yeah. Maybe you should get the TFL. It does. Yes.

It will never charge you more than £50 a day. Must do. TFL includes the bus and the overground surely. No, overground, surely. No. Overground is different. Sorry, I'm talking not orange overground. I'm talking like trains. Alpastor and railway.

Okay, no, no. Yes. I've come from a small town, so buses were... Buses were great. I like the fast, but it's just so time inefficient. And there's always people in that. Not always. Because you can't rely on there being good traffic.

On the tube, you know the tube will run. Do you? Do you? Really? I have have to just say do you? Because I don't know that. And I don't know I'm even going to be able to get on a train. Listen, I like the bus and I've got nowhere to be. I've got no, I'm in no rush. Sometimes the bus is quicker.

Honestly, you just got to just check City Mapper before you travel basically. City Mapper is a gaslighting little bitch actually. Because often... No sponsors for you. Wow. No, no, no, we can still have them because I love City Mapper and a gaslighting little bitch, actually. Because often... No sponsors for you. Wow. No, no, no. We can still have them because I love City Mapper and it's never wrong. No, no.

Listen, I love City Mapper. City Mapper is never wrong. City Mapper is always wrong. No, you leave later than it says. No, babe. Yes, you do. Every single day, it says to me, this is so jarring to me. On my app, it says a train in one minute, four minutes, seven minutes.

I get to the station, there's not a train for three or four minutes. Why have you told me there's a train in one minute? It's so boring to me. On my app, it says a train in one minute, four minutes, seven minutes. I get to the station, there's not a train for three or four minutes. Why have you told me there's a train in one minute? It's wrong. It is wrong. Maybe you just missed it. But like, it's, they're so out. All the time. Oh, I never have that. All the time. I think the Northern line is whack. Like the other day at Kennington, it told me there wasn't going to be a train for 15 minutes and I was stood on the platform and a train came.

Wow. It's wrong. Can't blame CityMap for that. You've got to blame TFL. They are all over the shop. Why can't they just stick to a schedule? I agree. Unless something's happened on the tracks,

something devastating on the tracks, why are you not running to your schedule? Why? You tell them. I don't understand. Something's always happening on the tracks. Something's always happening somewhere. Signaling failure.

What does that even mean? I hate sitting there when there's a signaling failure. It's really, really, really testing my patience. I get a bit prangy if you sit at a road signal between two stations for too long. When I watched that documentary recently. That really tips me. About the seven and seven bombings. Oh my god guys.

The London bombings. It's a very good watch, but it's hardcore. Is it on Sky? It's not on iPlayer. I think it's BBC. Oh yeah, it's on iPlayer. It's BBC iPlayer, but it's obviously, like I obviously, I didn't live in London when that happened, but it makes you really

prangy. No, prang. And it's horrendous that like that actually happened. No, sorry, can I just say to just lie to the mood of it? Oh yeah, please do. Sorry, I went straight to the point. I remember when I had a real job in London and basically like you, they do run on schedule in the morning.

Like, there's one at 8.33, 8.36, like it really is every three minutes. But if you get to the office on time, which I rarely did, but there was a brief stint where I did get the, it was the 8.33 train every single day. It's so weird because everyone on that train is the same every single day. Everyone gets that same 8.33 train and I remember... 8.33 is cutting it pretty close for a nine o'clock start. Why do you think I was always late? That's crazy. That's a crazy long morning.

Wild. Different type of people on the 755. Oh yeah. Let me tell you. Very different. But I just always used to find it fascinating because if you really deep it, if you actually do that, if like, let's say you work in a job on what, seven, eight years, you in theory stand on the same train with the same people every single day.

Like girl on a train. And I used to think, oh my God, like I don't know anything about you, but I honestly spend more time with you than I do with some of my friends. Yeah, that is weird. Like on the commute, but then it's so different. This is why London's so whack.

Cause like if you were on the commuter train from say like Kingham into London, you would know everyone on that platform and you would speak to them. So why don't we do that? I know it's weird, isn't it? It's not, like, harder to do. Also, but they're all the same people.

Yeah, and you all like to stand in the same place as well. Everyone likes the same carriage. Like, as in, you like your carriage. You're either a person that walks all the way to the bottom or you're always staying at the top. I'm always at the bottom. I'm always at the top. Bottom. Always at the top. Really? Sometimes I go a bit in the middle, actually.

Oh. It's kind of crazy. Because I kind of, like, try and judge it every time and I always get it wrong, so I'm always in a different carriage. That's why City Mapper is good because it tells you where to stand. I will give them that. Does it? Yes. For your changes, it always tells you front or back.

Wow, I've never looked at that. I've never looked at that feature on City Mapper. Have you not? No. That's one of the best things. That's one of the only good things about City Mapper. No. It tells you to where, like, on your changes.

If you're changing between nights, it will say, stand in the middle, because then, like, the thing is right there. Wow. Wild. Guys, I'm sorry, I'm so tired at the moment. Me too. I don't know what it is, like, genuine fatigue. No, it's fatigue. I feel like, I was listening to Stacey Dooley this morning on Parenting Hell,

and she was saying that her kid basically didn't sleep for the first year of his life. I did not sleep through it. I obviously was so sleep deprived and I was literally standing there thinking, I feel that sleep deprived. I feel like I've got a six month old that's breastfeeding at the moment. I actually don't think anyone knows what it feels like to be that sleep deprived until you're in it. No, I'm obviously joking.

I don't actually. No, no, no, no, I know. But like it does blow my mind how people actually survive. Like I'm obviously joking, I don't actually. No, no, no, I know, but like, it does blow my mind how people actually survive. Like, I'm not even joking. Did you see that picture I sent you this morning? No. Of that woman? The inside history, I didn't see it yet.

She just ignored me. Babe, I was fucking falling down five flights of stairs. I don't know what to tell you. This is basically what happens if you only have six hours sleep a night. This is what they say you're looking like. No! I know. That is how I'm starting to feel. Awesome.

I don't look like that actually. Which is great. I'll tell you what happens. This is, if there was ever a sign to get your beauty sleep, this is it. Memory loss, short-term and long-term memory loss. I definitely have that. Due to lack of sleep. Nose, low immune system makes Hannah more

vulnerable to respiratory infections like the common cold and the flu. I have that too. Maybe that's why you get that because you don't sleep very well and that's why I don't catch your cold. 3D model shows some so shows shocking toll of just getting just six hours sleep per night. Chronic back and shoulder pain. I don't have that. Stomach. Restricted sleep has affected both her leptin and ghrelin hormones which control feelings of hunger and fullness. Swollen legs, prolonged sleep deficiency

has prematurely affected her life expectancy and per her a high risk of heart disease. I think this is like worst case scenario modeling. No one actually. Well, my friends, I won't name them. They're getting married next year. I've actually got fucking millions of friends getting married next year, so you won't be able to guess which ones.

Who's going to do a deep dive on your mates getting married next year? I've got one friend that's just pregnant, she's three months pregnant now, actually two friends. Then one of my friends who's getting married next year, she says they're going to start trying straight away. And I thought, oh my god, babe, you're going to be a teenage mom, but we're going to be 30. It's so bad because when my friends talk about it and they're like, yeah, I think we're going to start trying at the end of the year.

I'm like, wait, that's actually not whack. That's not whack. But to me that feels like you're choosing to... A kid by the time you're 30, then TikTok, like get a move on, get shagging. I'm single. It's so sad. Are you saying this because of like the reproductive time clock thing? Well, I don't know, I think people have like, I think there's like a double-edged thing to it.

I think some people want to do it because of their body clock. And I think some people have just always imagined being like young parents. And to be fair, I... Which I'd never imagined. I actually did imagine and here I am at young mom age thinking, well now I'll have to be an old mom. Yeah, I always imagined I'd be an old mom. I never thought young mom for me.

I always thought young mom. It's weird though, because why did you think that? My mom was only 20, she was 30 when she had me. No, but you as a person. Why did you think that? I don't know. I just thought that. I just thought that in my future.

I can't see that for you. I can't see in my future. Because I can't see that for you. I can't see it for you. I definitely can't see it now. Nor me. Your pa's young, mum. I said to my mum, I said to my friend the other day, the one that wants to try next year, the one that's already pregnant, I said, how do you decide when to just not be selfish with your entire life?

Because that is what you're choosing, really. Yeah, you have to be so selfless. I don't know that I will ever get there. Honestly, pray to God it just happens by accident because honestly, otherwise I will get to 45 and honestly not have children. I'm not joking. Then maybe you just won't.

No, but this is the thing that's like, I do really want kids, but I just think, when will I squeeze them in? The problem with kids is that you- So ridiculous. Or squeeze them out, more like, I suppose. Problem with kids as well is like, once you have them, they don't leave.

Sure. Well, 18 years, kind, they don't leave. Sure. Well, 18 years. It's kind of a life sentence. Many years. Yeah. That's the good thing about boarding school. Get rid of them early doors. You're not going to do that.

Nah. You will. I would if they were really... You and Roar both went, so it'd be weird if your kids didn't go, maybe. I don't know. I really have mixed views on it now, having done it. Yeah. I would only send a child to boarding school that really could hack it.

I think there are some kids really made for it and some kids really not. Yeah. If I had a child that was like really sensitive or like really arty or whatever, I wouldn't send them no. No. But if they were like me and like really bolshy and, you know, like loud mouth and, you know, rude, I'd send them. Welcome to Leave A Message. We've just held a lot of actual internal monologue at you there of mainly our worries about our

reproductive systems and being blown up on the tube. So sorry about that. It was quite a wide variety of intro chat. But welcome. This is Leave A Message. This is the podcast where we dissect your amazing voice notes, which we are so unbelievably grateful for. Please keep them coming.

This week, we will call the galleys. Oh, what will we call them? What were we just talking about? Bree. Oh my god, Bree. Bree! Bree, because guys, if you haven't listened yet, don't leave this podcast to go and listen, but do go and listen to Bree on Paul Branson's podcast.

It's two hours long though, so you know, get comfy. I do think, guys, can we not get heavy on the chop? I did listen to the whole thing. Two hours? I was interested. I'm now a Nick Cannon superfan. Okay, I will go and listen. Two hours is a long time.

I wasn't a fan of her before, but now I like her. Sorry, that's longer than a lot of films, really. Did we really need two hours? Of Brie, yeah. She's a fucking legend. No, guys, we met her at the Brits. First of all, she's about five foot tall. And second, I went up to her and I was, this is before the whole episode came out, I went up to her and I was like, I'm such a fan. Such a fan. No, but she said about it in the episode, she was like, no, I love it. Because she was like, people don't like me. So the fact that now people like me,

she knows that now, but as in in her life. Oh yeah. And because she's quite direct and she shamelessly just wants money and success and she'll trample over anyone to get it. So she literally says that so shamelessly. And so she's like, now that people have received me well and love me, I'm like, tell me more, please.

And she's like, literally everyone that comes up to me, I love it. I just want them to keep talking. Oh, really? How did she respond to it? Yeah, she was such a hon. She was so lovely. She was like, oh my god, thank you so much. Yeah, she was lovely. I thought she'd be like, no, no, no, she was lovely.

On Paul Branson, she was like, I love the UK. I just really love it here. And I was like, oh my god, maybe she's staying. I reckon she's working on something. Oh my god, if you're staying, do you want to come in the car, Bri? Well, she's just done a press tour, so I think she must be doing staying. I reckon she's working on something. Oh my God, if you're staying, do you want to come in the car, Bri? Well, she's just done a press tour, so I think she must be doing something. I think she must be releasing some sort of show,

or is it like, is it Selling London? I don't know. Something's happening. Maybe they have Selling London, but yeah. Do they? From the Selling Sunset franchise? Yeah. Are you sure?

Are you sure? Yeah. Do they? Because I actually know someone on it. She was on Made in Chelsea, this girl, Rosie Mae. Rosie Mae, Rosie Mai? If you ever watch the latest season, she's now on Selling London. Oh. Maybe she's coming to Sheikah. It's not really Selling London though, because they sell houses in Oxford.

And I just think, you know London is the M25. Also, is it from Jason and Thingy? I don't know if it's the same, but it's called Selling London. Oh, so it must be. Selling Sunset, Selling Orange County. Oh, Selling Orange County is good. Wow. Okay, sorry, let's have the first voice note. Hey, Gallies. I have got such a good story for you. And the second I heard it, I was

like, Allie and you have got to hear this. And it's about how my manager found out on Valentine's Day, that her husband, who we'll call Nigel, was having an affair with one of his colleagues, and we'll call her Rhonda. And Rhonda was married as well. And the couples, Nigel and my manager and Rhonda and her husband, they were good friends, they knew each other, they were at each other's wedding. So the affair was like mutually assured destruction, right? The affair came to light on Valentine's Day because Nigel had sent Rhonda a Valentine's Day card

and Rhonda had stupidly taken it home with her and her husband found it. And obviously because the couples were quite good friends, Rhonda's husband knew who Nigel was and so he shows up at my manager and Nigel's door at like 11pm and is so angry and he's like, he pushed Nigel against a wall, he was like shouting things like, he bastard, how could you do this, like stay away from my wife, I thought we were friends, like all of this sort of stuff. And obviously my poor manager is standing on the stairs listening to this conversation, this like argument, finding out that her husband's been cheating on her. She told me she was like, I instantly didn't trust him. Like I just had a bad feeling anyway, like I knew something was going on. I just didn't know what. So she didn't trust him, but they didn't

have very much money. They had a very young daughter, so she didn't want to throw away the marriage. She was like, we'll go to counseling. So her and Nigel start counseling. They're doing it for three weeks. It's going pretty well. And then one day, my manager is doing the washing and she's checking the pockets for coins so the machine doesn't break, that sort of thing. And she finds this tiny piece of paper and the piece of paper, it has a phone number on it. It was a landline number. So she phoned it and she got the answering machine and it said something along the lines of like, hi, you've reached Nigel and Rhonda's place, we're not in right now, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

So this man was in counseling pretending to fix his marriage whilst owning a flat with the woman he was still having an affair with so apparently he was like pretending to go on business trips and he'd spend half a week with Cheryl and like their daughter and half the week with Rhonda I was so I genuinely like, this is the best story ever. And so it's safe to say that their marriage ended pretty quickly after that. And like I said, my manager, she's happy now. She's got new partner. Good.

And Nigel and Rhonda, apparently are still together, but their marriage doesn't seem to be that happy. Karma's a bitch is all I'm saying. Thanks, Ellie's. Oh, wow. The grass is not greener, Nigel. That's the lesson you've learned there, the hard way. Scum. Do you know how many times I have heard that story? Listen, not the audacity of the owning his own place with the fucking answering machine.

But the couples. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The two couples that are friends. And imagine actually sitting across the table from someone and knowing you're shagging their husband. Like what? I think that's what makes it hot. Maybe that is what makes it hot.

Yeah, makes it exciting. Makes it see through the lies. And like you're almost on like a little secret mission together when you're at dinner, the four of you. They put you under the table. Oh! Sorry, that is wild. I genuinely think, and I know I've said this before,

I will say it again, I think there should be some sort of fine or punishment. Like, I don't think you should be allowed to marry someone and then behave like that. I think it should be illegal. I agree. If I'm getting charged for having, you you know a PCN file for me, Nigel gets to have a wife and a daughter and have his own flat with his mistress, with a landline. No way. I think Nigel would be a great candidate for the Nick Cannon special. Yes. But see, he is not being transparent like Nick.

Nick is saying, upright girls, I don't want one, I want five. And I want two yards. Yeah. And I want two yards and I want two landlines. I want five landlines. And you're all happy with it. You've all signed up to the landlines and the Christmas pictures and the Valentine's post.

You're all going to get one. Don't worry girls, there's enough Nick Cannon to go around. But Nigel, he's secret Sally scurrying around like a little rat. Ronda the rat. Sorry, what? Ronda the rat! He's a Ronda the rat. The one thing I will say actually, sorry, well I didn't finish writing down, is that sometimes you've got to remember how they come is how they leave. Someone once said that to me. If they come under suspicious circumstances, what's to say they wouldn't do that to you?

What's to say? And also you're right. Like if the excitement you're getting from like if Rhonda is exciting to you because she's a secret, because it's taboo, because it's cheating, she's not going to be that forever. She's also going to become your like mundane wife that you do the dishes with and share a double bed with. This is the fucking story of everyone who's ever had to be that forever. She's also going to become your mundane wife that you do the dishes with and share a double bed with. This is the fucking story of everyone who's ever had an affair.

Story as old as time. You know, it's only fun because it's fun. Unless you like really love them. But then I'm just like, if you really love them and they're your person and la la la. Man up! Put your big girl pants on. This is the thing. And don't cheat.

I don't want to generalise because I haven't had an affair and I've never had a bit subjected to being... That is good to know, Ro. But I just... She's never had an affair. Well, I just think like, obviously, like obviously, I don't understand... But not obviously. No, obviously, that it's only fun because it's secret and it's like naughty.

The second it becomes your... Every... Like, guys, listen, I hate to sound like a grinch. Marriage is fucking boring. Honestly, if you want to boil it down, the mundane, everyday shit that you have to do with another human being that drives you fucking mental is really boring. Of course it's fun to have an affair.

Of course it's fun to shag someone secretly. Is it though? My cortisol would be through the roof. Nah, cause it's an adrenaline rush. Like none of that would I find fun. Listen, sorry. And I, again, I don't want to generalise this and maybe we'll have to cut this cause this is a broad brush.

But for people who have nothing going on in their lives, it is fun. It's like a roller coaster. Oh, I hate it. It would make me feel sick. If my phone, babe, I can't even like, slag my mum off without turning my phone off. I can't talk about anyone. I can't even, I can't even be slag my mum off without turning my phone off. I can't talk about anyone.

I can't even be like, oh, um... No, she can't even be like, oh... I'm trying to think of a good example. I didn't like Lil's nail colour. No, I couldn't even say that. I didn't like the way that Lil did act with any phones in the room. That's how prangy I am. You think I'm sucking dick?

No way. That can't be fun. It's fun to some people. You think I'm sucking dick? No way. That can't be fun. It's fun to some people. Listen, I don't see adrenaline in them. I don't have the brain science to add my fingers to it. Really scientific? When we just hook, it's scientific. When we just hook them up to some kind of machine

when they're cheating. No, because I know what they, the thing that's so big is adrenaline. Is it not stress, fight or flight? If you live, I'm sorry, listen, I don't want to generalise because this really is, like, I'm really broad brushing. No, because I think if you deep what you're saying,

what I'm saying is, if you have a normal life. And you're feeling a bit unfulfilled or like there isn't a lot of excitement or a lot of difference in your day, then an affair is an easy way maybe to find that. Rather than digging deep and being like, what am I feeling? What am I running away from? What am I feeling? What am I running away from?

What am I lacking? What do I need more of? Exactly. It's not in Rhonda's knickers, let me tell you, because that is not gonna get you anywhere. That's not the self-discovery you need. He's, sorry, he's sitting in a therapist's chair going, no, that's sick, you should go to jail.

No, I actually think that is sociopathic behavior, because sociopaths can't feel empathy. We've got women out there shoplifting to buy like, you know, like sanitary products and powdered milk and they're going to prison for six months and this fucker is just out and about with his double headlines. I hate it. I hate it. It makes me so cross.

The only other thing I was going to say is I love that you and your manager have this relationship. I would never have known makes me so cross. The only other thing I was going to say is I love that you and your manager have this relationship. I would never have known this about my manager. No, to be fair, I did. But I'm the beeb. No, but you are an elderly lady whisperer. I don't know what the fuck. This girl. What the fuck I'm putting in their tea. Yeah, I was like born to work in production.

This fucking girl, she come back from... They're middle aged. They're not elderly. Whatever. Elder than us. Yeah, our elders. She'll be like, oh, well, yeah, Sandra's daughter's having a 25. I'm like, how the fuck do you know that? Yeah, I would know, because- She's like, yeah, they're going to go paintballing,

and actually, like, the daughter's having a bit of problems with the boy. But honestly, she could fucking- I miss those stories. Production management in TV is all middle-aged women. I really don't know why. I guess it's because they're good at admin and they're a bit bossy. Like it's perfect, that's all you need to be

to do production management because you've got to be really anal and a bit bossy. And they love a gossip. And I would just sit on Zoom, I do no work. All I'd hear about was their, you know, Hudson's big life crisis. She's even texting them sometimes actually. Yeah, still text them today.

Oh, that's sweet. Send them, when they see us at premieres, they send me screenshots of how you look beautiful. What about that? Should they text her about how their fucking personal lives? Yeah, sometimes. Anyway, yeah, I would know, to be fair, sorry, I would know that about my manager.

I like that for you. I like that you're using the working day in that way. I think it's more important. It's a very efficient use of your time. Well, it's... No, it is. Team building. Listen, I just think,'s more important. It's a very efficient use of your time. Well, it's... No, it is. Team building. No, no, listen. I just think, fuck the system.

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Here we go. So I was in a relationship with a guy for 10 years from 17 to 27 years old. Decided it wasn't for me. Left our home, took the cat, obviously. I then move into a flat on my own and turns out I now live above someone who I'm very, very close with at work. Absolute dream. We have the best time ever, like seeing each other for dinner, drinks, every single night. Happy days. We are both living our best life. Never felt happier. Then all of a sudden, what happens? Well, you can guess, can't you? I say I was seduced, right? So this person, let's call

her Rebecca, is seven years older than me. Both of us aren't gay. What happens? Wow, one night. Epic! I get heated, don't they? I'm desperate for more. So then, naturally, we both continue because, you know, the thrill, the excitement, this shouldn't be happening, it is happening, whatnot. Fast forward six months, we're now in a relationship, new to both of us, going with the flow. Six or seven months later, so in June, July, things are a bit rocky, things go well. Her daughter absolutely loves me. And she is in a walking, talking

red flag, dismissive avoidant, runs for the hills, completely discards me. My life is over. I'm absolutely heartbroken. First time ever I found real love, true love. Absolutely heartbroken. What makes it worse? We still work together, don't we? Oh yes. No. Absolutely awful. Now I find out she's in a relationship with a crusty 55-year-old man. No. He's 20 years older than her. What's your advice on this? How would you deal with this? I want

to run away and get a new job. And now I moved out of the block flat. So that's fine. We don't need to sit over every single day and see his car next to hers. What would you say? Yes, love the podcast. Keep it coming. Thanks. Oh my God, for a second there, I was like, you lived my dream. But then she fucked you over just like the rest of them. Sorry, I just want to say being a little shit is not exclusive to men, clearly. Clearly, and actually men get a bad rep on this podcast and listen, girls can do the same. 100%.

Like if you're avoidant, you're avoidant. Doesn't matter what gender you are. Doesn't matter what gender you are, yeah. Yeah. Okay, a lot to unpack. Firstly, 10 years, what the fuck? Number one, 17 to 27. That is wild, babe. Congrats to you.

Yeah, congrats to you. Because that is a lot. And you left that and that's big, brave and beautiful. So well done. I love the way that you like were best friends and then you fell into a relationship. It sounds like she really doesn't know what she wants or needs from life.

And she's very confused clearly. I mean I would look for another job would you? Definitely. Unless it's like your dream job, I'd be like is it skin off your nose to move? Well I guess it depends yeah how much you can live with it every single day because if the pain of her being in the office is greater than your love for your job then you have to move but if But if it is your dream job and you feel like once the heartache subsides, you might be able to just at least exist, breathe the same oxygen as her, then maybe don't move. It just depends. Don't make a rash decision. I don't know how long it's been since you've broken up, but maybe give it six months. know, eat in the loo or something. It's so jarring, isn't it?

Because you were the one that was wronged, yet you're the one that will feel like you need to leave. Always. Because she's just in denial, moving on with her life, with her crusty old man, and she's like skipping through the streets. Well, also, sadly, in this instance, you...

What you want from her is closure, and you will never ever get it. So like, you have to be able to do that for yourself in whatever way that is. Yeah. But that feels so wrong and unfair, but like that is the truth and that's life. You're going to have to find a way to close the wound on your own and you have to protect your energy. Yeah. So like if that's you like, can't, sorry. What? I was just imagining Rich listening to you do this. Pfft. Pfft. Sorry, I've got some sort of my job. Do you want to go through your nose?

Because she's just doing this. Pfft. You're hacking it from the back of your throat to your nose. I know. I can hear. I know, but I can hear. Sorry about me, everybody. Yeah, you've got to protect your energy.

And if that does mean moving on physically as well as emotionally, then that's what you've got to do. It's so unfair though. Sorry, I know we just touched on that. I mean, listen, I did write Don't Shit Where You Eat. This is the perfect example. Why not to do that? Because like, it's not right to have to choose between a job and love, or like love or heartbreak or whatever it is, like a personal situation. Isn't it wild that you actually can't rely on anyone? Yeah. Like, it's so crazy that you can have a whirlwind love like that

and both be so into each other and... This is what I say about whirlwinds. I know, but it wasn't even whirlwind because you were really good friends. I don't know, was your relationship really intense though? Maybe, yeah, maybe it was because you were just newly single so you were really leaning into that kind of girl time. Maybe that was her first gay experience too and so everything's so confused. Well, unheightened and exciting and all of that. But yeah, it's just, I'm really sorry babe because

it's so horrible when someone rips the carpet from underneath you and you just feel like, oh, we were on such different pages. That is so hard to come to terms with. Also, it's so horrible when someone rips the carpet from underneath you and you just feel like, oh, we were on such different pages. Like, that is so hard to come to terms with. Also, it's so jarring because then you just start second guessing everything. Of course. But it's not you. No, no. Oh, it's not you.

And even if it is, it's not you. Do you know what I mean? Even if they'll say it's you, it's not. Well, listen. It's all them. Talking about not being able to rely on everyone, I know, well, we said this just out, but I know that everyone thinks that men are shit and women are amazing, but like, you can't even rely on women.

Crazy. Clearly. That's crazy. I mean, that is whack. Also, I'm like, guys, okay, I know that I don't, you know, go to therapy, but I do read books and listen to podcasts and, you know, call myself out when I'm being a dick. I just think there's so many resources now.

I do that. There's resources coming out of our resources. Like you need to open your eyes to know how to be a better person. The thing is, I have to say, a lot of people don't want to be a better person. You have to want to. That's the difference.

You can have all the fucking resources in the world. If you don't actually want to be better, it's meaningless. I know, So sad. Isn't it? Yeah, it does. If I think about it too long, I do feel pretty weary about the state of the world, actually. Thank you. And the people within it.

Trust no one. Sorry. I have to say it again. We're all just going to burn it to the ground. We're going to hurt each other and it's so bad. I feel like that girl in Mean Girls when she's like, I just have a lot of feelings. She doesn't even go here. That's me. It's true though. Babe, just really look after yourself and like, fuck her. You don't need to be in the office unless that job is irreplaceable. Get out.

OK, if you want some lighthearted relief, why don't we fuck with her at work? What can we do to fuck with her? We know where he parks his car. Let's puncture it. I don't know. Is that vandalism? No, don't fuck with him. Fuck with her. Is the 55-year-old from work? I don't remember that. I? We know where he parks his car. Let's puncture it. I don't know. Is that vandalism? No, don't fuck with him.

Fuck with her. Is the 55-year-old from work? I don't remember. I don't know where he's from. I think he's just new. Random man. I'm not fast to fuck with him. I'm fast to fuck with her.

Sure. I don't know. Put salt in her tea. Like move the shit on her desk. I don't know. Whatever you can do. Whoopi Kush. No one uses whoopi cushions anymore.

Good. No one likes a fatter at work. I don't know if you are ever on the same email chain, but where you can trip her up. Trip her up or call her out. Yeah. That's with Susan to do. Yes. Don't know why we're still waiting on that, Susan.

Good. Really good. See, see like an MD that doesn't need to be in the chain, but just for fun. Oh, like if she gets shit delivered to the office, hide it. Or start ordering shit in her name that's whack. Whack. Good.

Yeah, like I don't know, like a blow-up sex doll or something. Yeah, like a fat dildo or something. Yeah. Is whack you guys' new word now? Have I said that a lot? We say that all the time. I think this is like a new thing. I think it's new. I do think whack is quite new.

I think we've been saying that forever. You've been whack-a-mole-ing? Really? No, our new thing now is sleigh. Forever. You've been whack-a-mole-ing? Really? Yeah. No, our new thing now is, Slay. We never say that. New thing, we say it. On text, we say it sometimes. La la la la la. Babe, we, I never say Slay.

Never. Basically, anything Hani does, Ali does now. No, it's actually not Hani. It's the laptop stickers. It's the Slay. Hani says Slay only. No, sorry, the sleigh. Hani's a sleigh only. No sorry I didn't mean sleigh, I meant period. I've never heard you say period. No I'm going to start adopting this because we were on that call, do you remember? And he was like period.

Yes. And I thought brilliant. And what else? He said something else really good. He said something really funny, I can't remember what it was. Oh I can't remember, we were on this call with this really eccentric guy, what did he say? He was like, we were talking, he was like, yeah, period. Like, so normally. We were having normal conversations, just like, period. Yeah, he didn't even say, yeah. It was just like silence. Then he went, period. Okay. Olivia said something yesterday that absolutely killed me. Oh, I was asking if she was going out this weekend. And she was like, no, I'm in financial ruin.

Mood. Mood. Mood. I was like, that is brilliant. And she said it in front of her boss. I was like, epic. Said it in front of Lill who pays her. I was like, okay, pay her more. Pay her more.

Oh, that's funny. Right, should we do a round up? Three, Hamor. Oh, that's funny. Right, should we do a roundup? Three, number one. Well, mainly, well done for getting all the work, Goss, babe. Yeah, mainly to you. You should get a raise. Yeah, that's really good, because also people do need an outlet at work. Yeah.

They say to keep your personal life personal. I don't agree. Some people are weird, though. Some people don't like to have their personal information strewn across the office. Isn't it fun? Because there's some people say in my old job that I would know every inch of their life.

Some I genuinely wouldn't know if they even had kids. No, it's bizarre. Like I wouldn't know. That is wild. Oh, I think there is a line, to be honest with you. I don't have a bit of humility, but you kind of... You don't need them to know everything. No one likes the colleague where you know you're gonna like, you know hear about what their dog

It's too much. I can't do that on a zoom called today. So I've got no But yeah, and I'm so glad the most important thing is that your manager and her daughter are now happy That's and that night was not actually us the yeah That's actually the most important thing beautiful karmic thing right Oh my god, my mum's neighbours got robbed this morning. Well, last night, someone stole their car, broke in through a tiny window. I think it was a window, a Range Rover, but they went into her bag, they bleached the outside of her bag, which is what she's most upset about, to get rid of the fingerprints, and took the car keys.

It was, can I tell you, they didn't need to do that. I know, apparently they're really great. Range Rovers, you cannot, now in London, you can't get them insured if you park on the street because they're the easiest in the world. They are, that's why, go, look, walk down the road. If you see a Range Rover, they all have the locks on the wheels because you cannot get them insured if you have on street parking. I just low key think like that is what insurance is for.

Like I'll never understand insurance company being like, the things that are going to need insurance can't be insured. Because they know they're going to lose money every single time. Yeah, obviously it's fucked. That's fucked as a system. I also just think Range Rover, would you not just change your fucking software? Would you get something better about that?

Yeah. Sorry, I don't know where that came from. Voice note number two. Gear shift. Sorry note number two. Gear shift. Sorry, gear, literally gear. Aha, cars. We got it. I'm just really tired.

I'm really, really tired. Just in case you didn't get it, it was a car pun, OK? I'm just... What did you mean to do? It was a car pun. I thought you'd done it by accident. I did, I think. Don't worry. I just, I'm concerned at my fatigue because I don't know where and why it's come from. I think you need a vitamin drip. What is it called?

I'm taking vitamin C every day. No, no. IV drip. IV drip. It's actually not vitamins apparently. It's just like massive loads of electrolytes. But I take those electrolytes every day so I'm just like confused. I'm drinking more electrolytes than I've ever drank in my life. They inject it into your veins. They do?

Okay. I'm so tired. We're almost through it guys. Come on! Bring out number two. Get out. Get out sister. Get out please. We're hiring.

Yeah. We can employ you a day a week. I don't know how much you earn but that might help for a bit. Yeah, listen babe, look after yourself, protect your energy, protect your peace. You don't need to be around that. But also, it's okay to be a little bit revengeful for a hot sec. No worries. You know, if you need to spit in her tea, don't worry about it.

Yes. Heaven will open the doors for you. Nothing to worry about. Agreed. Right, it is time for... Question of the Week. This is a good one. Another two-parter.

Have you ever had a work crush? It's not a two-parter, it's a three-part question. Goodness. Options. You can answer this, girls in the room. Have you ever had a work crush? Yes, but I never made a move Yes, and I made a move. No never fancied anyone at work. I'd say winners. Yes. I never made a move

Yeah, so it's yes. I've had a work crush 43. It's not a lot 43 percent said I never made a move But yes, I had a work crush and then it's very even on the other two move, but yes, I had a work crush. And then it's very even on the other two. 27% said, yes, I made a move and 30% said no, never fancied anyone at work. How are you not fancying someone at work? It's that what's it called? The proximity thing? Fitting teacher at school. Yes, because I had it with this one guy at my work, but I didn't actually fancy him. I just liked to flirt with him because it passed the time. But I wouldn't actually have like

shagged him if it got down to it. Oh no, I had one that I probably would have. I didn't. She says she doesn't believe in non-monogamous. She would have shagged him. No, okay. Obviously, like... In your fantasy.

You were single, obviously, if you were single. If you were single, all that in your dreams. Yeah, I reckon I wouldn't. So you fancied him. Oh yeah. Probably fancied him. I mean, it was embarrassing. Maybe I did actually make it.

I don't think I made a move. Well, I was home, not you had a partner at home. Not a move, but as in like... Doing the mindful chef. Sorry, sorry, sorry, it was embarrassing. Maybe I did actually make it. I don't think I made a move. I was home not. You had a partner at home. Not a move, but as in like... Doing the mindful chef. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no. Slaving over mindful chef.

You're shagging someone in the office. I don't mean a move. I just mean like... You made it obvious. Yeah. And then it became a bit of a gag and then it just... Well, it is a problem because people go to work and they think that like it's a new world.

They're like on that magic carpet to a whole new world and it's like, no, you're not. You still have a boyfriend. Well, also, I think this is the key difference and I would say this between having a crush on your teacher at school and having a workplace crush. Like if you actually... You can't shag your teacher at school. Well, and also if you want to prioritize your career and be taken seriously, sadly, you can't be shagging around the office. It's not ideal.

It's not. It really isn't. But that is because we slut-shame in this country and we need to stop that. No, but it's on the men too. It doesn't look great if they're shagging younger women. It doesn't look good. Really get away with it more than the girls. I bet in that situation, the girl is the one that's like, oh, you slept away to the top. And the guy just gets to show the girl. Well, it depends if they're your direct senior. Mine was, if this guy wasn't, he was an... No, listen, you can shag on your level.

I just think... You can have a little work rendezvous on your level. I just think, listen, it's not ideal, is it, for any party involved? Well, it's really not ideal if it ends as well. Because then, as we've just had, you have to keep working together. Horrible. It's only ideal, basically, if you marry them and have kids with them. Or if you're both really clear about the fact that it's very casual.

In a dream world, work in a big company, shag in a different department. Yeah, because I just think like I get it. Like you're all similar, you're all similar ages. It's hard to find someone that is worth, you know, fancying out there. Definitely. And Hinge isn't... I redownloaded Hinge yesterday. And?

I had like 32 likes, which is nothing. I don't know why I get so little likes. What? That sounds like loads. I was off for like two months. Dude, that sounds like loads. No, people get like hundreds. No, 32 in two months is not a good ratio. It's nothing. Anyway, I flip through. Not one.

Or even one a day. Not one. Not one. That would even give the timer day too. But why? Because they're not... For many, many reasons. Oh, really? But babe, it was almost offensive that some of them had liked me. Yeah, sorry.

Oh, dear. Maybe you should get a real job then. Shag about in the workplace a bit. I bet there are some nice people at Universal. You should come here. I kind of thought as a spin instructor I might have met someone, but no. They're all gay. So many gay old men love cycling, which actually isn't out of my catchment, I guess.

Ben Shepard, if you're watching. I'm joking. I know he's married. I'm joking, he's married and I want to work with him. I'm joking. Guys, thank you so much for listening. Thank you so much for watching. Right, you must like, follow, subscribe

on In A Dream World YouTube, guys. We really are trying to up our YouTube subscribers. And for some reason, they're just not converting. So wherever you can, help us make a living. I feel like we're preaching to the converted. So I don't know, maybe text a friend, tell a work colleague, put it in a newsletter. Send it to you, I don't know, make your dog a YouTube account. I don't know the fucking rules. Yes, I've got loads of email addresses. So maybe set up a different one and just give

us another subscriber or follower. And also please keep sending your voice notes. There really is no podcast without voice notes. So if you love this podcast, please send a voice note. We love you. Thanks so much. See you next week. Bye. Thanks for watching!