Leave A Message with Ally & G - 58 - A Cruise Ship, A Greek God & Unsolicited Pics

Episode Date: April 9, 2025

We've all had that fantasy of spending the night with a Greek god and the many ways it could change our lives... but, what of the consequences?! On this weeks episode of Leave A Message, Ally & G are helping a Gally out who is dating a guy with a mismatched sex drive, leading our Gally to reminisce about the night of her life in the arms of Eros (look it up). A night to remember for more than one reason. Plus we have a cruise ship romance which has hit the rocks (shout out to Producer Rehana for the pun!) but it looks like our Gally won't be the only girl in ruins. We're also chatting unsolicited pics... does anyone find them attractive? And, if you do find them attractive, does that make the cyber flash OK? Alls fair in love and willies! Thank you to this weeks sponsor... Use the coupon LEAVEAMESSAGE for an additional 8% off at emma-sleep.co.uk. Terms and conditions on the website, the code is valid on the whole website (excluding outlet products). Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1 (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: @allyandg TikTok: @allyandg YouTube: @allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Book, direct and save at bestwestern.com. Guys, I went home the other day and my parents are away and I don't know why because I've been in that house since I was two years old. I have it too. But. Terrified. I am terrified to be alone there. Like I didn't realize how comforting it was to live in a block of like, live in flats. This is what I always.

Because I've only ever lived in flats since I've been in London. I always think. I actually don't know how I will ever have my own front door again. Although I once had a house when we were at Goldsmith in my second year, we had a house, a full four bed house. And if I was alone there, I didn't love it. I wouldn't go home now and sleep at home without my parents. No fucking way. So it fucking, it was all going wrong. So basically I got home all fine, went in, I forgot they'd been away. So like heating was off. Anyway, sorted that.

Then went up to my room and I was like, no, dead mouse. I could smell it. Do you know, also, I said this then to my auntie or someone I was talking to. She was like, how do you know what a dead mouse smells like? I was like, I grew up in the Cotswolds. What do you mean? Obviously, when you grew up in the countryside. I think anyone would know what a dead animal smells like. It's such a specific smell. No, people don't. Rihanna doesn't know. She's a city girl.

You would know. They don't have mice in Birmingham. Babe, yes they do. Mice are rabid in cities. I grew up in the countryside of Birmingham. Yeah. But I didn't live in a country home. No, exactly. So they don't like die in the like, they don't die and rot in the easels. It's awful. In the easels?

What are they called? The eaves. An easel is what an artist paints on. In the eaves. it's awful. In the easels? What are they called? Eaves. An easel is what an artist makes up. In the eaves, pardon me, pardon me. In the beams or wherever the hell they die. So I walk into my room and I'm absolutely not sleeping in there. So I have to sleep in my mom's bed, number one, so that was first.

And honestly, I went out to see my goddaughter. I came home and I literally checked every single door window lock because I was pranging. Then I watched Stacey Dooley Rape on trial, which I highly recommend. It's a two-parter. Why would you have done that on that day? Yeah. Well, I thought I was going to watch The White Lotus, but I was like, actually that's scary. Oh, yeah.

Can't watch The White Lotus. Pranging because that woman that's alone in her room all the time and that tapping keeps happening. Anyway, then I was like, right, best go to bed. My mom's door has this, it's so funny, all the doors in my house are like the original like barn doors and they've got these weird little locks on them. They're almost like chains. And you shove the chain through the like latch door. So I did that, locked myself into her room. I got into bed and I shit, you know, it's like being in a fun house. The noises that old house makes, it's ridiculous. I was texting my mom, I was like, I don't like it. She was like, it's just the radiator, it's just the pipes.

No, the boiler fucking tips you over. No, when it comes on at 2am and you're like, no, who is it? I don't want to be kidnapped today, crying. And I was thinking about it, I was like, so weird, why am I more scared there? I know all of my neighbours, I literally am like a stone's throw away from anyone. This is why I think it's more scary, is because if something were to happen, people could not find you for days. No, but they would, like all my neighbours are there,

it's a small village. You would scream and no one would hear you. That's what I think, I agree. I'm way more- But then I think if I screamed in my flat, no one would come. They'd be like, oh, it's a fox, or oh, it's just normal. Oh, that's her business, not mine. Genuinely, in London, that worries me.

That is the vibe here. Isn't it the vibe? Like, oh, well, like, well, she must be doing something crazy. And they don't say nothing. Yeah, I don't know. I don't think anyone, I don't think the boys upstairs would even blink an eyelid if I screamed. No way. Oh, Roger downstairs would.

Roger might, if he heard. God bless. I don't know why I have exactly the same. Also, I have this thing about escape routes. In London, there are so many ways to escape. If you think about where you could run from, if someone was in your house, you could run here, there, everywhere. You could hide in someone's backyard. In the countryside, there's nowhere to fucking run. It's a bare road. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? They'll see you. A bit of a road. Yeah. They'll find you. They'll find you. And then if you're in a car, no They'll see you. They'll find you. They'll find you. And then if you're in a car, no one will see you. This is why I genuinely don't think I could ever live outside of the M25 for real, because I genuinely, the thought of being, imagine, even if you're married with kids and then

they just are gone for one night and you have to sleep there on your own. No, but I was thinking, I don't know why I feel safer when my 82 year old dad's here and my like old mom. Because it's just people like it is. I know, but like I'm still gonna be the one that puts up the fight. I'm the one, but my dad's not gonna protect me now, gonna be like, get back now. No, it's because like if something were to happen, like you'd be fully on your own, left your own devices, have to save yourself. I was thinking about it and I was like, I would just lie down and take it. At that point, I'd be like, just whatever you need to do. Whatever you're doing to me, I'd be like on

your way. I'm not going to go out kicking and screaming. I'm going to go peacefully. So if you're here to do whatever you're here to do with me, if you're going to take things, just you do you. I'm going to just be here. This is my thing though about London. I do feel like often that they're breaking in to take stuff and I think think take all you need. Oh, just don't touch me. But I for some reason think that, and maybe this is only because I know someone who was murdered in their country home.

But babe, do you know how many people are murdered in London? I don't know why rationally we're not more scared to be here. Not in their homes. They're murdered on the streets. If you've got home, you're quite safe unless you've got shit worth stealing. And if they're going to steal it, they're going to steal it. They're not going to touch you. But I just have this thing in my head that like in the countryside, they've come to specifically harm and kill you. Mass murders are out and about.

I've got to stop watching so many like of these like docs and like dramas about like full just like murder everywhere, murder, murder every day. I watch it all the time. I literally, if there's something like murder, rape, like I'm there, sign me up, I'll watch six parts of it. I love it. And yeah, I fully, like when I'm even in the flat when I'm alone, I was saying about the intrusive thoughts, like I literally, I will just be like, well, and I will visualize it and I'll imagine what's going to happen to me. I know they're in the flat. I don't know where they're hiding, and I don't know where they're going.

Do you remember, Lusa? Yeah. Like that, in some of those episodes, were sickeningly scary. That guy that hid under the stairs, do you remember him? How will I ever live in a house? Like, I actually am not joking. I really do worry about it.

No, do you know what it is? Ring doorbell. Everywhere you've got to ring doorbell. I don't think a ring doorbell is going to prevent... It does because ding dong, they're here. You know they're there. That anywhere... Do you think they're going to ring the doorbell? No, but it goes off when you don't ring it. Rohana is a sensor. Hi, I'm just here to take some stuff from you because you handed over a pearl like me.

It's a sensor. You don't have to ring it for it to go off. That is true. My mom, every time I go, like the other day, I went back to check I'd locked the door because it was so prangy and she was like, double locked the door because she could see me on the ring doorbell. I didn't ring it or anything. No, but I don't know that that's necessarily anti-burglar system. No, but you would know they're coming is what I'm saying, so you'd be prepped. If you had a ring doorbell on every entrance, if they even came close to the ring doorbell,

boom. I'll tell you whose house is the scariest fucking house on planet Earth. Poipai's parents. No, it's not. Babe, sleeping there on your own. It's such a nice house. Exactly. Exactly.

Oh, you're scared you're going to get robbed. And in the kitchen, in the depths of winter, you can't see in the garden and they have the motion sensors. I always imagine someone's going to just pop up. So many times people in that garden. People? Yeah, yeah, yeah. They've had two burglar scares.

And one time his mom came down and like this is before they read to the kitchen, but she could see through the galley and this guy was standing at their side door. And she screamed. Roy's dad fell down the stairs and basically... Absolutely not. No, no. It is terrifying. All of their windows on the ground floor only open this much. Absolutely not. And also, Rool's bed is on the top floor. And I remember there was one night, he's got

a panic room in his bottom, babe. It's... A panic room in his bottom. How does he keep the panic room in his bottom? A panic room in his room because... Which goes to where? The police? Yes. Because if someone was downstairs and you like basically couldn't get out because he's on the top floor, where would you go? You can't get out of his room.

It's so scary. Oh my god. That's the pits. The pits. That's such an irrational fear being robbed, but I'm really like really fearful of it. No, me too. The thing is, I don't care. Take what you want.

We've got nothing to rob in our flat. I just want everyone to know. Like literally, what would you take for my flat? PR packages. Yeah. Oh yeah. You might get some vids. Her car's not worth stealing. It wouldn't bother my car. You could take my Emma mattress. Actually, I'd be in the pits about that. I guess you could take like... There's not a lot to steal. RTV's on the blink. Have it, please. I'd love a new one. RTV just gives up every time. Like, I'm just not bothered about robbery, I guess. I'm just more worried about seeing them in my flat.

Me too. I'm being like, oh my God, there's a man above my bed. If I woke up and my TV was gone, I'd be like, whatever, as long as I didn't see him. No, that's the thing. But if you actually think about them being in there, that is pranks, isn't it? Guys, okay, do you want to know? Sorry, I know we have to go to the voice notes, but there's this one story that I will never forget from Bristol. In Bristol okay, do you want to know? Sorry, I know we have to go to the voice notes, but

there's this one story that I will never forget from Bristol. In Bristol, when you're in second and third year, you live in these enormous old houses because there are eight of you and there are six floors and lots of people have rooms in the basement. And there was this one girl that I knew that she was in the basement, but it's like a lower ground floor and her window was open and she was awake. She was lying in bed like this and she saw a guy come in through her window, go up, she could hear him take everything.

Like the Grinch? Pretty much, yeah. But obviously she just faked being asleep because they don't want to hurt you. Did she not ring the police? No, of course not because he came in and out. When he went up, I'd have been like... No, because it's too risky. Just take the laptops, who cares? If he found you awake, he probably would hurt you.

And anyway, so then she watched him walk out with like eight laptops, all of this shit. Like, yeah, mad. In and out of her room, and she was lying in bed like this the whole time, eyes wide open. Oh! That happened to me, well, not to me, but to a friend of mine. I lived in Manchester and for some reason, there's a place called Fallowfield and it was on the rise basically like burglaries and my friend's bedroom was on the top of a kitchen extension so you could literally climb up there and walk through her bedroom.

And there was footprints on her bed. No! up there and walk through her bedroom and there was footprints on her bed. He stole her laptop, her Rolex. But the way we found out is we were all downstairs in the living room. We heard that like, what's that noise? And my friend was like, I'm going to go up there. I was like, oh my gosh, you can't go up there. And he ran up the stairs and then I ran up after him. And then he went to put his hand on her bedroom door to open the door because we knew it was in there. And the door was locked because you can lock it from the inside. Oh my God.

And then we all went back down the stairs and then we had to call the police, climb over a fence to get out because we were like, oh my gosh, what if they're still in the house? Oh my God. Did she get her stuff back? No. Sorry, it puts the fear of God in me. Fear of God. Fear of God.

I won't sleep tonight. This is such a random... We're going to segue into the most random... I know, sorry, that was no segue at all. I can't even do it. Welcome to Leave a Message. This is not a crime podcast. Maybe it'd be safer to live on a cruise ship. Thanks.

And also, what I must tell you actually about this episode, more importantly, is that Rihanna, I know I've said it before to the group, and her puns on this were very good. On our brief the Galleys cruise ship romance hit the rocks so let us line you up for that the Galleys this week will be called what's a good cruise liner called oh I know biggest Virgin P&O no Virgin just made the biggest ever cruise ship. And what have they called it? Wait, right there. Allure of the Seas. Oh, it's not quite the...

Does the ship not have a name though? Isn't that the name of the cruise? But the ship will be called something. Icon of the Seas Utopia. Goodness. Why don't we call them Titania for Titanic? Oh yes, that famous cruise ship. And a nod to Midsummer Night's Dream. Titania, great. Titania for Titanic. Oh, yes, that's famous. And a nod for Midsummer Night's Dream.

Titania, great. Titania. Hey, galleys, I've got a story for you today. For some context, I actually work, I've spent many, many years working on cruise ships. Very recently, I came off my last cruise ship ship having spent a little bit of time with a certain crew member on board. That certain crew member lives all the way across the world. We spent quite a bit of time, got really personal, fell a little bit for each other and lo and behold, I actually got sent back to the ship.

And we spent another two weeks in perfect heaven, which was absolutely incredible. He was the most perfect person, going the most above and beyond that you could ever imagine. So this guy then actually came to London to re-embark on the ship. And he messages me and we spent a lovely evening together, drinking wine, eating good food, and had a lovely little stay in a hotel the night before he went to join the ship.

Now I work for an entertainment company, I'm a dancer, and within my entertainment company there's a lot of people who know a lot of people. So I went out for a drink two days later with some friends from my work in London and one of the other choreographers mentioned to me this guy who he met on his last install on the ship and I said oh I know him he's so lovely obviously I didn't give away too much and this guy my friend then proceeds to tell me how he went for dinner with him at the same, around the same time. The 10 out of 10 had told my friend that he's actually engaged and he's moving across the country to the UK to be with her. So he

wasn't in the UK to join the ship, he was in the UK to see his fiancee and made a trip to see me. I, not usually the confrontational person, I usually just leave these kind of things. I decided to message him and I laid out the facts, I laid out the law and he's just left me unread. So we would never see each other ever again as I'm moving to Paris next week. But just a little story. Yeah, shocked me at the time, but then also this is just the absolute normal for cruise ships. So hope you enjoy.

Wow, cruise ship boys are going to be our new army boys. I hate to say it, but as soon as you said my friend told me I knew it. I thought that he was gay. No I knew it. I was listening and I was like he went for dinner with the friend and he's gay. He's bi and he's playing them against each other and their friends. That's what I thought. I didn't think he was engaged. I didn't think he was engaged I just saw another woman. Immediately that's where my mind went. So sad isn't't it? I just, listen, I don't want to shit on your parade and be such a sucker up of romanticism. Yeah, don't suck up all the romanticism. That I tend to be, but... Leave a little bit for us.

I could have told you that. It was too perfect. It was too 10 out of 10. As perfect, perfect. No, babe. Sorry. You're a 10 out of 10. No, babe! You're a 10 out of 10! It doesn't exist! My romance was never and is never and no one's normal reality. You really can't meet a nice guy. You can, but it can't be. But reach your well.

There is no such thing as a perfect man. In my opinion, as soon as you start to think he's perfect, that is my first sign that something's off. Well, I guess the problem with this situation is you always had that kind of like sad but romantic twist that you couldn't be together. Like that was the kind of narrative. So it's always like one last night. Yeah. One last two weeks.

Like it's always like one last night. It's just this bubble. Like indulgent. So he can be perfect because within a bubble, everyone's perfect. It's just gross that he's had his cake and eating it. He's able to go on his cruise ship, cheat on his missus, have such a romantic honeymoon period at sea, and then he gets to come home and be a different person and live his double life.

Also, not to encourage double lives, but I would say arguably cruise ships is easier to have a double life than being in the army. Oh, 100%. I mean, there are six and a half thousand people on a lure of the seas, guys. Yes, and also those girls are fit, like those dancers that dance every night, like you've got the pick of the bunch. Also, it's way more close proximity than the army. You can't go anywhere, you would drown.

So you just, you take what you've got. There are people from all over the world. In the army, it's only from one country specific. You would definitely fall in love on a cruise ship, I reckon, if you're working on a cruise ship. I reckon that must be inevitable. They must all shag each other. Some of the cycle instructors are dancers that used to work on cruise ships.

I know how mental they are. They are fucking crazy. Crazy. Like the hours they work, the way they work, like the lifestyle you have on a cruise ship. It's fascinating. But also like, yeah, I mean, as you should, you're all young, wild and free, but like this whole thing, anytime we hear stories like this about someone that is cheating, it just makes me feel so cross that they get away with it. Like he just got to leave you on read. Fuck you. Fuck you. Sorry, that's the last they ever had communication. Yeah, just after on red.

She said, I know about your fiance. You absolute scumbag. Thank you. You coward. You mouse. I'd be at his door. I'd be at his cruise ship door. I'd be at his port. What's it called? I'd be at his cabin door. Cabin. Thank you. I'd be in that little round circle window, popping my head like, hello?

Answer it to me. And then I'd go and find his fiance and I'd say, will we burn his things together? Maybe she doesn't know though. Maybe she doesn't know. Maybe she's going to have a nice white wedding. I'd be watching that wedding on socials like you and me. Be like, you 10 out of 10 prick. I text him on his wedding day, happy wedding day. Yeah. Thinking about you. You won't even get in bed anyway. I hope you give your wife a nice time.

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Oh, right, Prague. Oh, boy. Choose from a world of destinations, if you can. Air Canada, nice travels. Easter is actually my favorite holiday, and as I'm getting older, I'm thinking, out with the Easter eggs, in with the good sleep. Because, rolls off the top. That's what I really need.

No, no, listen, good sleep. Guys, we saw this picture of this woman who didn't get enough sleep and she didn't look 10 out of 10, let us tell you. So listen, the gift of good sleep was nothing to be overlooked. So I'm thinking out with the Easter eggs in with my Emma mattress. It's honestly been a bit life changing for me because a bad night's sleep I'm not a nice person I'm not nice to be around and I cannot celebrate Easter in that kind of mood. Agreed with all of the above. Also can agree guys I've never heard anyone talk about a mattress more than she talks about Emma and that is honestly not a joke.

And now they've got an Easter sale so you can get up to 20% off all of their products, not only their mattresses, their weighted blankets, their cloud duvets, their pillows. So you need to go to emmasleep.co.uk and use the code LEAVEMESSAGE for an additional 8% off on top of current discounts. Terms and conditions are all on the website and the code is valid on the whole website, excluding outlet products. Epic. Hi girls, love the pod. Basically, I'm in a bit of a dilemma.

I'm out of a 10-year relationship and I am now on dating apps for the first time in my life. I've now been seeing this guy for about 10 weeks. Really like him, but he has quite a low sex drive and I have a very high sex drive. But I know that he's good for me, if that makes sense, and I know that when we have sex, it's good. Like walk away bruised, bite marks on your legs. Like, you know, you've had a fucking good time. But I've got a bit of an issue. Issue is, before I met him, I met up with this guy, let's call him Fanny. He came over, great date, built like an absolute Greek god. He came back to mine. He basically told me he had a really big dick

and wanted to know if it was going to be okay. I was like, get over yourself. If my eyes could have rolled back, honestly, they would have scratched my own ass. Alas, he was doing whatever to me, roll reversed, ironed his trousers. He have scratched my own arse. Like alas, he was doing whatever to me. Roll reversed, ironed his trousers. He then re-illiterated. He was like, look, if you don't want to, if this is going to be too daunting, you don't have to. I was like, sweetheart, this is not my first rodeo.

I'm a seasoned professional. Like, you girl can put in a shift. Anyway, got it out. I must have looked at him like a deer in a headlight. I have seen many a dick. And I looked at it and I swear to god, it was like an appendage the size of my forearm. It was fucking huge. Alas, it was fine. It was one of those, like, I'm going to have to lay with my head off the back of the bed to get this thing into my throat and not have

like a gag reflex. But anyway, I think he was very impressed with my improvisation. And honestly, so was I. He then says to me, you know, like, do you have a towel? He's obviously feeling very proud of himself. He knows he knows the ins and the outs. And let me tell you, he knew the ins and the outs. That towel was needed. I honestly I was looking at it thinking let's double it up. Let's get a dry robe on the go. It was impressive. That man's skills. He was basically sat across my chest with my leg up over his shoulders and doing his situation. But anyway, my dilemma is, sorry, just going back to the point here, I won't get too flustered. My dilemma is, I can't stop thinking about that

night. I also don't think he's that interested. He kept texting me afterwards, but he was only ever texting me when he was horny. The texts were coming through at half past 10 at night. By that point, I've got my laser lamp on my face. It was the situation where I'd had first date with both of these guys, and it was like, want to pick one or the other for the second date? So I went with a guy that I am speaking to now, and I genuinely think that's going to go places, more wholesome places. But my dilemma is, if I've got a high sex drive and the person I'm dating's

got a low sex drive, am I always going to be in this conundrum of thinking about other people and other sex I've had? I don't know. Let me know what you think. Also, I know this is really long and TMI, but I mean, I don't know. Please keep me anonymous. We'll keep you anonymous, Queen. Can you imagine me at 12 p.m. on my lunch break. Just minding my own fucking business. Scrolling through. Okay, so this galley sent in a picture of her Greek god as she said. Before I give you any advice, I've got to tell this girl, you're actually not allowed a six foot five guy when you're five foot. I wrote down selfish to hug the tall man.

You can't, you're not allowed because you can be with someone who's five eight and they're still a giant to you. Just saying, okay. Oh goodness me. Yeah, wow, he's built like a brick shit house. Right, there's so much to say, babe. I've got so many thoughts on this. I think Al should speak on the, I think there's two different things. I think we need to split up your question. I think you've blurred it into one. There's two different things. One is the comparison and the greener grass of the sex you're not having, i.e. the Greek god with the big, big forearm. And the other is the imbalance in sex drives.

They are two different things. They're not to be confused. You speak on the imbalance. I think that- As someone with an incredibly high sex drive, yeah, as someone with a libido through the fucking roof. A libido that cannot be controlled. Listen, I have always said I have a lower sex drive.

Number one that I did when I was younger, and maybe number two than other girls, I don't know, maybe other girls, I don't know. Sex is not like, it doesn't like set my heart. Well, that's not true. Good sex. Right. But basically what I wrote down is that it's about quality not quantity. If you care about quality not quantity. Because she's kind of saying she has quality sex with him. Exactly. She seems to also care about quantity. And we've talked about this before, but I do think, right, number one, is it a deal

breaker only if you feel like it is such a gaping hole in your relationship with this person who seems like a good guy and you said, he's good for me. But if you really, really cannot let it go, then maybe it is something that you need to really think about. Because if it is something that you feel like maybe he could fill up your intimacy cup in other ways that is not just intercourse, if you feel like you could get your fill from that and you also really like him, then I do think that it can be done. And I don't actually think that sex drive in isolation,

a mismatch is enough to dump someone over unless it is a dumpable offense for you in particular. So we talked about this before, but things like intimacy might be you really want to cuddle and he feels like he doesn't want to cuddle because every time you cuddle, you just want to have sex. You just communicate that. I really feel like I need to touch you every single day. I feel like we need to be skin to skin. I feel like we need to be naked. And if he says, I feel like whenever we do that, you just want to have sex, there's your conversation

starter. I think there are so many things that you can do and talk about before you get to the stage where you're like, we have a mismatch sex drive. Because actually, sex drive, in my opinion, often comes from just wanting to feel intimate with someone. And there are so many ways, especially in a long... It's different because you guys have just started dating. But after years, as you well know, babe, you've been in a ten year relationship, intimacy comes in so many different forms, in my opinion. Also, to be honest with you, if you've got a high sex drive babe, get a toy and wank yourself off, rub yourself off three times a week. But I was going to say, I think, yeah, rub yourself off as much as you need.

But I do think that what Al's saying is so true about the communication because I think what tends to happen with a mix-max-match sex drive, and I have had this in the past, where my sex drive has been higher than my partner's, I think it plays out in multiple rejections and I think that starts to make you feel bad about yourself. Or like unwanted. Unwanted or it makes you feel low self-esteem or it makes you feel like your sex drive is abnormally high and it just becomes a point of contention that maybe some couples

that are really well aligned on that don't have to battle. It just becomes something that is like... A talking point. Yeah, and a sticking point in your relationship because it's just, it's just, it's just like, oh, it just jars. And listen, it is uncomfortable to put yourself out there for sex and for your partner to not want it. It's not always about you. It's probably rarely about you. It's about their mood. And I think Al's right about like,

if we're looking for monogamous partners to be with for life, then we might have to accept some ebbs and flows. So that's why I think you need to separate the comparison thing of like the crazy night with the guy that made you squirt because it's like epic. Love that. But that's like, they're two different things. Like once you're in a it's like epic, love that. But they're two different things. Once you're in a committed relationship with them, we just use the one night stands as our wank bank. We reminisce. We don't pine after it anymore or we shouldn't because...

Because they're filling your cup up in a hundred different ways. Your partner is giving you so much more than that like crazy, like, you know, yeah, you know what it is. You know how it feels. I think it depends. What are your top three or your big three in a relationship that you really cannot compromise on? If sex drive is one of them, then maybe it's not right.

But if sex drive isn't in your big three of things that you're looking for, if you're looking for a partner, like a life partner, yeah, you have to compromise. Also, it'd be so different, babe, if you were having mediocre sex with him. But the fact that when you're having it, it's really high quality. And by the sounds of it, kinky, which I think is what you like, then you're kind of winning. All you have to do is articulate to him and know in yourself what the gap is that you need to bridge and how you can bridge that with him, not via intercourse maybe, as Al says, maybe in different ways and see if he's open to that so that you don't feel so worlds apart because actually he's done X for you or like sexted you in

the day while he's at work. It could be anything that makes you feel like wanted, desired and yeah, like your sex life is full because your sex life doesn't have to be full by having penetrative sex with your partner. That isn't the only way to have a your sex life is full. Because your sex life doesn't have to be full by having penetrative sex with your partner. That isn't the only way to have a full sex life. 100%. And I also think it's really hard, isn't it? Like I had this with my ex where we kind of got into a rut where we had labeled it so highly

that like I was the one that wanted sex, he didn't. That then it was really hard to get out of that dynamic. Because actually that's not the truth. That wasn't every time the dynamic. Ebs and flows short on the whole, that was probably, if we were going to talk about sex drive, mine was potentially higher. But that wasn't always the rule, whereas we fell into that.

So then you come into these horrible patterns of like, one person always being the one that tries, so then the other person always feeling like it's always going to lead to sex. So then they stop doing any kind of intimacy. Because they don't like any... Yeah. And it's like that horrible cycle that then you really can't get out of. So you have to have a clear line of communication with your partner and be able to say, listen, this is like where I'd love to be. This is where we are. Anywhere in the middle that you could

meet. And you have to, but also you then have to be willing to meet in the middle. Yeah. Because I think if you are the person with the highest sex drive, it feels like, but I want it, so why would you not give it to me? Like you have to also really try to understand like, I'm fucking knackered. Yeah. I don't want to shag.

And that like, okay, if that's how you feel, then I am going to go next door and have a wank. Like if that's the compromise that you have to come to, that's the compromise you have to come to. Right. Also, I just think like there will be times where you would want that grace from your partner. You'll be breastfeeding or you'll be knackered and grieving or whatever it is because life's hard and you would want them to be like, yeah, babe, I get it. I'm not going to try and shag you tonight. Do you know what I mean?

Definitely. So you have to kind of ebb and flow it a bit. But I think if you are still thinking about this big old boy, that might be something a little bit different. I don't think you're just thinking about him because you're not having enough sex with your partner. I agree. I think you're still out there putting the greener grass somewhere. I do also think it's really hard in this scenario because in my opinion, actually, finding someone

that you really like and that you feel is good for you and that you have good quality sex with is really rare. Ding ding fucking ding. But you've got such an extreme here. Yeah. It's very, very rare that you would have such an extreme to compare to at the same time. Like one night of absolute heaven. Yeah.

So I think like- It doesn't happen often and how you're having such a good time on the dating apps, I would love to know. But I need to be on your algorithm. But I think like if you just take this Greek God for what he is, which is just fun. Yeah, and also like not emotionally like not available at all. Like, no, and also, but this is the thing, maybe it's telling you that because you came out of a really long relationship, you're not actually quite ready for the good guy that gives you

everything you want. And just because he's good for you doesn't mean you're good for him. 100%. So there is something to think about. But yeah, the comparison is the timing is unfortunate because I just think like if these had happened six months apart, I don't actually think that you'd be thinking like this. It's like I'm telling you now guys, finding someone like the first guy, the good for you, also having good quality sex with someone.

Yeah, I thought you were going to say it's vanilla and you didn't. So I'm like, no brainer. But then I'm thinking maybe you're not ready for a relationship, babe. And that's why you're kind of a bit like, you're trying to glorify the other side of young, wild and free. What is the word? Dick blind. What is the word? Dick sand. She's the word? Dick blind. What is the word? Dick sand. She's stigmatized. DIC-MA-TIZED by this schlong on this man. And it's skewing. Of course it is because it's like so like, wow.

I know. But then I'm just like, is that because she's been in a relationship? Like no dick is schlammizing me anymore. No, because I think if she had not had that passionate, amazing one night of passion, would she be thinking that way? I don't know. Yeah, because maybe she still wouldn't be ready for a relationship. But is it this one man's cock? Because I don't think that that's... Is it that great, babe? Can't be. Can't be.

Even if he was that good in bed, there's got to be a lot else wrong with him. You can't be like, why are you that good in bed? Just worrying. I just think maybe deeper. Yeah, maybe you're not ready for relationship, but also maybe you've just been like, dignitized by one man's penis. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. But yeah, round up.

Okay. Titania number one. Oh my God, we've got to get on a cruise ship. That's literally all I can think. I would love to do a cruise. I would hate it. But working on it. Like, if we did a podcast show on a cruise every night,

we could just do a two-week med cruise. We're not going to the med, babe. Let's go to like the Bahamas. Fine. Go to the Bahamas and we'll do a show every night. Yeah, the thing is... Shag the captain. I love it! My main problem is the number of people in that proximity.

I just think really... Apparently, you'd never know. They're so big, you'd never know. Yeah, and the shops are good. Listen, and they have cinemas and swimming pools. And it's duty free. Yeah, babe, I like the sound of it for us. Anyway, he's a rat and I'm so glad you're rid of him and tread with caution next time when you're on the seas.

I was going to say, don't be giving your heart away to some stranger. No moral compass at sea, apparently. Or the ocean. No rules. No. Don't like it. And Titania number two, I think that you need to do some soul searching, babe. Oh, babe, you just had a good night.

You just had a good shag. Do you know what I mean? And it's confused you. And that is hard. And basically, what actually will be your answer is what are you looking for right now? Yeah, exactly. You seem confused on what you're looking for. So just figure out what it actually is you want and what you're looking for. And don't just be with like this good guy just because you think you should be. Yeah, don't attach to either of them. Attach to what you want.

If you want a good guy and you want to be in a relationship, you know your answer. If you want to spread your wings and have some fun for a while and sleep with the F boys, then great. Get on the forearm. Get on your forearm. Thank you. Great voice notes. Very, very good.

Should we have question of the week? Yeah. Okay, part one. Do you like to receive nudes? Okay, there's four options you can answer. Number one, yes, they turn me on. No. Number two, no, I think they are gross slash funny.

Yeah, I'd say that. No, I do send them. No. Yes, and I send them hot. I'd say no, they gross me out, it's majority. 71% of people said no, I think they're funny and they gross me out. 4% said yes, they turn me on, only 4%. Bearing in mind our audience is mainly female, do with that what you will.

14% said no, I don't like receiving them, but I do send them. You'd fall in that category. I do not send them, I have sent them. Yes, and I send them. I think that's hot, 10%. So more people, they get them and they give them than just receive them. And then we ask- Listen, guys, I hope my mom's not fucking listening because yeah, I have participated

in the exchange of pictures of the human form. Anatomy pics. Right. And I just think they are just that, anatomy. Yeah. No, but not always. Majority, yeah. Sometimes, have you seen them? Yours are not anatomy. You're doing acrobatics. I don't know what yours are called, but it's not anatomy. It's sexy. Or like if you send like a certain position with like your mouth open, tell me that's anatomy,

that's showing that is science, are they? Not getting up on the big screen in biology, you, with your fucking leg spread. At your dentist's school, they would have showed them that picture, yeah. Of your mouth. Right, and then we asked, how would you respond to an unsolicited dick pic?

I've had so many of them. So many blocked, immediate blocked, block and report, block them, scream in fear. What the actual fuck, guys, do you know how lucky you are to be on part of the younger generation? Because you're all shocked and outraged. I used to get unsolicited dick pics all the time. Oh my god, sorry. I used to have my... Not that it's right.

Before you could turn your airdrop off from everyone... You would get it like on the tube all the time. That never happens to me. I know. Because now you can't... They don't do it anymore. Because they've changed the airdrop rules. You have to automatically select everyone.

Otherwise, it's just contacts only for that exact reason. Ghosts, tell them to get fucked. Might reprimand them for unconsensual sexual content. Block, block, report. Girls, I love you. Block, block, report. I had one once and it was so crazy because we weren't even sexting or anything.

He just sent me a picture of his erect penis. Why not have been his? No, no, it was his. I'd seen it before. Sorry. Well, let's read some of the funnier ones. Yeah. So what was the question?

What would you reply? What would you do? Yeah. What would you do? How would you respond was the question? Someone said, send them a picture of my mum. Someone said, reply smaller than imagined or nice. Yeah, everyone's saying insult.

Nice cocktail sausage. Bit small, ain't it? Sent a video of me throwing up. Oh my God, once I sent a link to a song called Hvala ne, Slovenian for thank you no. Oh my God, everyone block, block, block. Wow, this one's good, this one's mature. I'm not looking to send and receive nudes

and then just block. Really good. Reply with a shrimp emoji. Wow, that is so good, guys. As you should, unsolicited dick pics. It's now illegal, isn't it? I don't know the laws. It's solicited.

I think it is, Rana, please could you get on that? Because I think they made it illegal. That must be why AirDrop changed its laws. Maybe. I just think a penis is a penis unless you've got... No, it is a penis, babe. It's not nice to receive an unsolicited dick pic. No, no. Don't get me wrong.

That's what I'm saying. What is everyone's fascination? Right. Why do they send? You can find yourself on the sex offenders register. As you should. Find at or in prison for up to two years. Two years in prison you're going to get.

Is it worth it? Yeah. Unsolicited nude. Two years? Yeah, up to two years. Two years in prison, you're going to get. It's going to save for a funny pic. Is it worth it? Yeah, unsolicited nude. Two years? Yeah, up to two years. I'll say should. Probably if you're like a repeat offender, if you're sending them all the time on like dating apps and stuff.

I told you about my friend Rach, she used to work for Bumble and she had to deal with all of the like, all of this stuff. She dealt with the stuff that like went to the police. It was so bad. Or people would just send it pics. Yeah, all the time. I just find it wild because I think how many people in the world have a picture of your cock?

No one cares either. Like, put your willy away. It's just a willy. It is literally just skin with a muscle inside. I just, I mean, I could talk for weeks about how fascinating dicks are to just look at. They're just like, they're so weird. It's so weird. But also they cause loads of harm, so they actually should be treated with fucking caution.

Don't send dick pics unless someone's asked you for it and it's consensual, obviously. I would just say in a dream world, avoid all exchange of nudes. Of yourself, of them, what good can it do? No, babe, that got you through a long distance relationship, don't lie. I wouldn't do it now. I really wouldn't. Why? Because I think... If you were still with Raw and he moved away for a year,

you wouldn't send him a little cheeky vid. But we've been together years now babe. I would have a sex life, babe I'd sent him I'll tell you what I would do and which I did do is sent him pictures in the post It's much more. Yeah, we love a polar on I don't know It just makes me so nervous now the thought of someone having pictures of my body If I wanted to have a real job like a real job, like a real job. No, better in a real job than this job, just saying. Better nowhere. Yeah, better to avoid. Yeah. Okay. Okay. Thanks guys. Thanks so much for listening, watching wherever you

are. Please send your voice notes. We love them. No dick pics of producer Rohana when she's on her lunch break, please. If we could avoid. Love you all so much. See you next week. Bye.