Leave A Message with Ally & G - 65 – When Loving Your Step Family Goes Too Far…

Episode Date: May 28, 2025

Wednesday crew, you here? It’s a new episode of Leave A Message and Ally & G are out here scraping through the doldrums of bad exes and jealous friends to help out the Gally’s! This week we’re helping a Gally who is helping a Gally (that’s a tongue twister!) who has fallen in love with her step-family. And we mean, in LOVE! No, this isn’t an advert for Orange YouTube or whatever the kids call it, this is real step-sibling love. Outside of family matters, we’re re-examining the BBFs-to-Situationship pipeline and reminding ourselves that no, it never ever works out. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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yes. Because those are groceries and we deliver those too. Along with your favorite restaurant food, alcohol and other everyday essentials. Order Uber Eats now. For alcohol, you must be legal drinking age. Please enjoy responsibly. Product availability varies by region. See app for details. I'm absolutely gutted because... Gosh, I'm gutted too actually, you go first. Okay, well let's get the gutting out the way. I'm gutted firstly because I was going to get a free banana downstairs and I forgot and I've just remembered that I forgot. You can get one on the way up babe.

I'm sure they'll still be there. That freaks out all day. Babe, you have to validate my gutting. I'm sad. Wait, who are we doing that with? I don't need reason. I need sadness. Who were we doing that with the other day?

Oh, it was Mary Mandefield. Oh, yes. And she, and we were so validating of her, you know, trials and tribulations. Because sometimes you need a little window to actually just complain and to have no solution given to you. Like I don't want solution. Sure. I just want to moan about the fact that I haven't eaten a banana.

Heartbreak. And I should have done before 10 o'clock and alas it's 10.06. My potassium is low. What are you gutted about? My sister went on a hunt. I said, guys, if you've listened to us for a while, you'll know about pineapple blooms. Oh, yeah. So she's in America now.

When I said, don't leave the fucking country. Without getting pineapple blooms. Honestly. She can't find it. She sent me a picture saying, I think the world is just telling you time for no more pineapple blooms. So what is it? Like an electrolyte?

Basically, like, you know, the free soul greens or like the shreddy greens. I actually had free soul this morning. It's that. Not green. The green. Yeah. I like the orange one. The free soul orange one.

What is it? I took a picture of it this morning actually. Wait there. I thought that's a Zen one. I think you meant to take that in the evening. Oh shit. That's probably why I feel so no potassium. It's got magnesium in it.

Is it the one that came most recently? Free soul, balance, calm, restore. I think you're meant to take that. Really? It's got magnesium in it, yeah. Oh, what? So I'll be off to sleep, will I? No wonder you're feeling so knackered.

Oh, because I've been taking that in the morning, no, I only took it this morning. It was so delicious. Oh, so you're not meant to take that in the day. I think it's meant to be an unwind. A wind down. Well, at the moment, I need a wind down all through the day because I'm highly wired. Wired high. We've got a lot of plates spinning, girls, and I can't cope.

So I need the restore. But I just think maybe, you know, before a full day, I don't know that it's helpful to feel that zen. No, no, no, I think it's helpful. I think I need to be walking through like a monk right now. It's brilliant. I just need to let everything wash over me. Obviously don't, you know, encourage drug abuse,

but people in America do take... You can buy them over the counter. They take the bits. They take bits. And it's very normalized. Very. What do they say? Like, they're going to Xanax?

Like, that lady, what is her name? One, um, White Lotus. Oh, um, Pandy. What's her name? Rawling is their last name. Oh my god, and she was such an icon. What was her name? Piper O'Neill!

Piper O'Neill! Her real name was Parker Posey, because it's a great name. I know that. Victoria Ratcliffe! Thank you. What a woman. What was she popping? She was popping bits. Victoria Ratcliffe. Thank you. What a woman.

What was she popping? She was popping bits. She was popping a lot of bits and so was he by the end of it. Yeah. We could not get over how much he was taking. Listen, I know White Lotus is over now. But I would like to give some feedback. Go on then.

You know, if you're listening. I think there were too many scenes of him popping pills. Like, we got the message. I know. I understood. He was trying to overdose. He was having a horrible time. But like, he was like half trying.

I was like, try harder. By the end, it was like, how were you awake, sir? Also, there was a real plot fail there with the fact. Oh, Al literally spoke about those four days about the fact that the fruit didn't kill them. Is that what you're going to say? It was literally a deadly fruit and they all drank it. And you're what? You're telling me they're all still living and breathing? It was a sicky fruit. I think the plot fall is that the Australian woman, the concierge

was very dramatic. You're like a cat. I'm so itchy. Yesterday, guys, this girl, I actually sometimes can't be outside with her. I'm so itchy. I'm so itchy. Yesterday, guys, this girl, I actually sometimes can't be outside with her. She's on, where were we at dinner? And she's literally, something's happened to her nose. I don't know what, something's flown up there or something.

And she's getting the napkin and she's like, I'm so itchy and so itchy. And she's putting this napkin up her nose, trying to wipe the inside of her nose, and then she's there trying to have a conversation with you, and she's like this. It's so dramatic. Oh my God, I can't deal with the itchy-ness. You get overstimmed. I'm piling. How's your hay fever been this year?

It's fine. I think the season's over now. I see I'm itchy again. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm really feeling itchy the last time. I get itchy arms, I get itchy everything. Maybe you've got some bed bugs going on. We've all got these little flies in Clapham. Yeah. What it's ours. Oh my god, guys. What? She caught a mouse. I killed a mouse.

And it's actually so sad because I'll never be able to go to her house ever again. Like it's just categorically not going to ever happen again. You've categorically been since. I've categorically not. It was on Sunday. No, you've been since. When did I come to your house this week? Not once.

No, it wasn't on Sunday because Holly was working. It wasn't on Sunday. Monday then. Friday. No, no, it wasn't on Sunday because Holly was working. It wasn't on Sunday. Monday then. Friday! No, no, it wasn't Monday. You're lying. Basically, it was ages ago. I can't remember when we had someone over and a mouse ran across the living room and we were like, oh no, we've got a full mouse. And then he would get really brave. When there's one, there's many. I hate to say it. Yeah, 100%. Well, that's why we put out two traps.

But I'm talking like February of this year, we put out traps. And then last week, Holes is just sound minding. Was there cheese in the trap? Yeah, tiny bit of cheese. So they've eaten five month old cheese. I guess it will be quite well aged, actually. Well, cheese really doesn't like... Well, if you're a mouse. Cheese just goes a bit hard around the edges, a bit white around the edges.

It doesn't like, you know, it doesn't mold eventually, I guess. Maybe they like it. I don't know. Anyway, he liked it. He, Hols was on a call. I was out and she said she was sat on this zoom call just like concentrating, concentrating, being a finance girly. And then she just heard this and it was the trap. And she was like, I don't, I got home and she was like, I don't want to look, but I think we've caught a mouse. And I was like, no. And she was like, I don't I got home and she was like, I don't want to look but I think we've caught a mouse and I was like, no. And she was like, yeah. And we were pathetic. Like I literally was like, okay, you hold the plastic bag. And also it was so sad because he didn't. Sorry guys graphic if you're like trigger warning if you're a mouse lover. Yeah. Or if you're like vegetarian or vegan or something because this is bad. I know you're meant to

use like no because they love all animals. The vegans especially. The thing is, sorry, if you're a vegan and you've got a mouse in your home... No, no, no, but they would use a humane trap. What is a humane trap? You're still killing it. They put them in a box, then you have to take them out to woodland and you have to let them go. That's a humane trap. Ours is humane in the sense that it decapitated it really quickly. So it didn't feel any pain, I don't think. It was a swift death. And he had nice cheese, but his little body was hanging out the bottom of the trap. Ours is humane in the sense that it decapitated it really quickly, so it didn't feel any pain, I don't think. It was a swift death.

And he had nice cheese, but his little body was hanging out the bottom of the trap. I hate. And I had to, I felt like such a boss bitch. I literally picked up the trap like this with the little mouse hanging in it and I put it in a plastic bag and I was like... Not even with a glove. No glove. I have a real phobia of mice. When I'm a celeb, if you put me in a box of mice, that would be worse for me.

No rats, surely. Rats and I'm a celeb. If you put me in a box of mice, that would be worse for me. No rats, surely? Rats. Rats. Rats. Mice or rats. All of those like crawly things are considerably worse for me than snakes. Like I, we used to have in my old flat in Pimlico, we used to have, we had like a proper infestation. We had to leave the house for a week so that they could, we would come home every day. I have a collage of pictures of just dead mice everywhere. Why were they dying?

Because we put down poison so that at least you can see how many and there were many like excess of 20. Do you know what? Nothing will ever be worse than squirrel outside our Railsfield flat. That nearly took me over the edge. Do you remember? Oh yeah. We had our bin, we didn't put our bin lid on guys and it rained and a squirrel, God bless, was on a suicide mission, went into the bin. Couldn't get out.

Blew up. He blew up. He was enormous, full of water and he was dead. And he was like this. And I literally, I said to Hols, I was like, I went upstairs and I was like, have you thrown out like, like a fluffy hat? And she was like, I went upstairs and I was like, have you thrown out like a fluffy hat? And she was like, no, I don't own a fluffy hat. And I was like, right, then there's something dead in our bin. Anyway, we had to remove him and it was like the worst thing I've ever done. And I remember Holly's mum being like, you grew up in the countryside, what's wrong with you both? And we were like, no, but London squirrel is a whole different game.

I'm not touching that. Sort of pheasant, is it? Also, they do carry diseases. Sorry, not to be no, but London squirrel is a whole different game. I'm not touching that. It's not pheasant, is it? Also, they do carry diseases. Sorry, not to be serious, but, you know, do they? Public health and all that. Yeah. Wow. Squirrels carry rabies and shit. Do they? I think so. I don't want to, you know, a no defamation to the squirrel community. Yeah. Well, I don't think you can tarnish all squirrels.

In Southport, where my nan is from, or lives now, Southport have red squirrels and they're gorgeous. Yeah, they're beautiful. They're endangered. Yeah, and they all are in Southport having a lovely time and they don't have rabies. I'll tell you what, sorry, if we're on the subject of vermin, these fucking London foxes. They are getting so cocky.

They're so cocky. Do you know what it is? It's Fleabag. It gave them a limelight and they got all like cocky because he had that lead role in fleabag and now all of the foxes are running around in the day. In the broad daylight. Broad daylight. I went for my morning coffee the other day at Gales Northcote Road. This little scaggy fox.

He was literally, he looked like such a little minx and he was moving around looking at me in the eye. They look at you. They look at you in the eye. They don't give a shit. No. They'll start attacking soon. No, apparently, I don't know how this scientist has discovered this, because I don't know that they've got a direct line to the fox community.

But apparently foxes want to be domesticated like dogs, and that's why they want to evolve. They've said the psychology of foxes, their brains. Apparently their behavior is the behavior that dogs used to exhibit before they became domesticated. I would 100% have a fox. That is fucking cool. I'd have a fox.

Would you have a fox? I would if they didn't bite. They're quite vicious. They are vicious. Are they? Yeah. Do you know anyone that's ever been bitten by a fox? I've seen videos.

Your algorithm is dodgy. Why? Have you seen that? Really? Yeah. Croydon. Croydon Vex. Your algorithm is dodgy. Why? Have you seen that? Really? Yeah. Croydon.

Croydon. See, I'm used to the Cotswold foxes. Sweet, sweet little things. So shy. No, but they could fuck you up, those foxes. Those foxes. This is the problem. Everyone, you know, looks at these cute animals and thinks, ah, they're not, ah, they're like

vicious animals. They're vermin. They are. They are. The listeners are going to think they've tuned into the National Geographic. Sorry, they're disgusting. And listen, I just want to make it clear I've never killed a fox, but I just- I have now killed a mouse and I'm sorry. I've killed many mice. I don't feel shame. I feel joy. You must enjoy the pod now.

Welcome to the message. This is not a natural history podcast. This is the pod. Why is, sorry, just I really never understood this when I was at the BBC. Why is the unit that covers wildlife called natural history when we're covering wildlife in the present? Just always got Apple with that when I sat at my desk. Natural history, what history are we doing? No tutors in the natural history department. I just always got Apple with that when I sat at my desk. Well I suppose we're... Natural History, what history are we doing?

No tutors in the Natural History department. It's a good question. I suppose it's the natural world's history and progression of... It should be called the Natural World Unit. It should be called the Natural Wildlife Unit at the BBC Bristol, is what it should be called. It was what it should be called. And it's called the Natural History Unit,

and it's confusing.com for people like me that have limited reigns out. Also tells you how much she had to do if she was sat at her desk grappling with that question. I was busy transporting caterpillars making sure they stayed alive. That was my main job. Sorry, sorry, sorry. No, no, no, this is so serious now. This is leave a message for the... Oh, we're going to do some ASMR. This is leave a message for the galleys by the galleys. I think ASMR makes me feel sick. We listen to your voice notes every week and we dissect... It doesn't have to be sexy ASMR.

No, but you've got to pronuncie. We listen to your voice notes every week. We dissect, we opiniate. We don't know what the word is. We advise. I mean, advise is strong. This week we're going to do some pretty heavy advising. OK, well, we advise. And it's a safe space, guys.

That's all you need to know. I'm Ali. That's G. Hi. We're Ali and G. Let's get cracking. What will we call the galleys this week? Oh, what about Minnie for Minnie Mouse? Great. Hi, Ali and G. So this is a story of my mate's current love life. Now, her parents split up a long time ago,

and they have since got into relationships. And her dad has a girlfriend and her girlfriend is Irish. She spends half her time in Ireland and half her time here in England. And she also has multiple children. I don't know how many, more than one less than four. And they're all around 25 roughly. And my mate, we will call her Tammy, she recently got invited to go to Ireland with the girlfriend and meet her family, her sons, etc.

They all went on a big night out and essentially she came to the conclusion that she thinks she's in love with one of her dad's girlfriend's sons. Obviously a bit problematic, it's obviously not actually illegal, but a bit on the dodgy side. I kind of said to her, oh, like, haha, but I feel like surely it'll be all right. Like you probably won't see him again. However, it turns out she will because like two weeks ago they came over and they all went on a big night out and they like went out for dinner and stuff. And apparently he was just talking to her the whole time they like didn't speak to anyone else like really intense eye contact

and he just seemed to really like her her friends that were there also thinks that he likes her as well so a bit of a situation there anyway so she's obviously come to me being like I love him like it's just annoying that he lives in Ireland. And I was like, well, no, I think the annoying part is the fact that he's basically a stepbrother. And we're not wanting to make those kind of videos.

So I don't know what she's going to do. But the current status is that she thinks that she loves him and that he fancies her. So what do you think she should do? Because it seems to be kind of deep. Like, it's not like a little crush, I don't think. Yeah. So what do you think she should do? What should I tell her? Yeah. Thanks, Gals. Love the pod.

Thanks, babe. It's kind of deep. Right. Well, what this is is a clusterfuck, because this is not good vibes, I have to say. I think... Can I play devil's advocate? Is it that bad? It's not ideal if it ends badly. They're not related. It's just not ideal, really, is it?

To shit where you eat. As in, like, if it ends badly, babe, they've still got to sit around the kitchen table at Christmas. Yeah, it's not ideal, but, like, it's not awful. And she's right, it's not legal. but like, it's not awful. And she's right, it's not legal. No, no, legally, you're safe. I think...

I would just really advise... You can't though, like, because if you're spending time together, you're gonna... No, but you can't not like someone. Like, if you like them and they've got a vibe, you what, think at Christmas they're just gonna ignore the vibe? Of course they're not. Eventually, they're gonna get pissed and they're going to shag. 100%. Oh, I'm sure they will. I put money on it. I'm just saying it's like that film. Yes,

it's exactly like that film. And guys, listen, it ended well for them because they were young. These guys are young. If they get, okay, let's say they shag and whatever and then they start going out and then for whatever reason it ends. Yes. That is the worst case scenario. And listen, I'm just saying expect for the worst, hope for the best. I'm just laying out the cards on the table for you. I don't know, the dad and the girlfriend could break up and then you would have, you know, lost the love of your life because you were afraid of some technicalities.

Are they married? They are more than technicalities. They aren't married. They're not married. They're not married. It's a girlfriend. That could last five minutes. Who knows? They are more than technicalities. They aren't married. They're not married. They're not married.

It's a girlfriend. That could last five minutes. Who knows? But, even if they were to stay together and then they got married and had children, can you imagine their child scaling the family dynamic? Yeah, you would technically be married to your stepbrother, technically, yes. It's just like, I just think it's far from ideal. Listen, it's not ideal.

I just think there are 60 million people in this country. Oh, but babe, you say that it's really hard to find somebody you fancy. I've been struggling for five years, babe. You know what I mean? I just think find me 60 million men that are like actually worth me going out with then. Obviously. Because you don't fancy anyone that often and that's so exciting for her. It just happens to be her dad's girlfriend's son.

I bet the accent is not hot as well. The girlfriend's son. I read the accent is hot as well. The dad's hot. No, the accent. Yeah, the Irish accent. I wrote down Irish is sexy, Swayze. As someone with stepparents, I can just, you know, categorically say it would be hell and horror. But imagine the hell and horror, babe.

If, for example, James came in, when he came in, how old were you? 14? A bit younger. And it's like Zac Efron walks through the door. Like he is just like, you are like, whoa, I fancy him so much. I love him. The flirting, the proximity. You'd be in bitch. You would struggle to pull yourself away from him. Listen, don't get me wrong. You're in a dilemma here, Queen, because I understand, you know, the lust that you have for this boy. This is the problem, the lust is the fun bit. Like, actually, it would be quite jokes to like, you know, to indulge into corridor creep.

But if you're actually going to like try and like love him and be with him, then that does get complicated, I suppose. Also, my main issue actually would be... They live in Ireland. Well, also, when you fight, everyone's going to take everyone's side. They're not your parents. The good thing about having your parents to yourself is that no matter what, they'll take your side. But when you're in this kind of situation, like for everything, it's always, especially

with step siblings, I don't have any, but I can imagine. I know from, you know, secondhand experiences that it's not plain sailing. Not always, no. But it can be. You can just fall in love automatically and go on nights out together and have the best time ever. I think it's probably different when you come together, like when you're older.

How old are they, sorry, do we know? No. Yeah, if you're in your teens, go for it. Why not? Listen, I know it's not ideal, but it's not illegal. That's all I'm saying. No, it's not illegal. So if you've come here for reassurance.

Yeah, if you could pull yourself away, like maybe you should, but also if you can't, then you know, reap what you sow and then deal with the consequences after, I suppose. The problem is, in the film, the parents never know. Oh, they don't find out. They never know. Also, the parents aren't stupid.

They're going to see there's a vibe between the two of you, surely. I think. It is bad though. Like it's even like, you know, with family friends, you have it because you have that like proximity thing of like, you might not even fancy them, but because you all hang out

or you go on holidays together or like whatever, you like can even fancy them, but because you will hang out or you go on holidays together or like whatever, you like can start to think that maybe you do. And then actually is always a bad idea because you then your parents are still friends and you still have to like see them at Sunday lunch and you're like, God, wish I wouldn't have snogged you. Do you know what I mean? So yeah, listen, if we're going to be sensible about it, maybe don't go nights out together because that's where the risk is. Wow. She's got it in her head though that she loves him. I know, I know.

This is bad. That's the bad part. Lost is okay. Love is a... No, but having limerence about your stepbrother is an ideal. Far from. Oh, imagine he's in your wank bank. It's so weird because it's so fine.

It's so fine. Like objectively, he's just another boy. On paper, there's genuinely nothing wrong with it. It's low-key brilliant as well because you know your parents get on. It's just the context of, like, living in it, I guess. Yeah, and actually, like, explaining to other people, like, oh, that's... Yeah, I am shagging my step-brother. This is my step-mom. She's also my partner's mom. Mom.

So, she's our mom partner's mom. Mom. So she's our mom, I guess. Yeah. I don't know, it's how they used to do it in the middle ages. Keep it close. You know, keep it in the family. I just think, you know, tread with caution. I think you're coming round to the idea. What I'm sensing from you here is that you're coming round and you're liking it.

There's nothing wrong. I just think like expect the worst. If the worst is, if the worst does happen. If you're willing to deal with the worst, go for the multiply. Right. Yeah. Craving an escape? Bring the vibrant flavors of Mexican street-eat energy to life in your kitchen with Tia Rosa Tortillas. Born in Mexico, Tia Rosa knows how to turn your next taco night at home into the real deal. Find Tia Rosa Tortillas at select grocery stores and get the good vibes going. When does fast grocery delivery through Instacart matter most?

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are free of charge, BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave A Message, if you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics. But if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Mini number two. Yes, mini number two.

Hey, so I've got a great story about situationships slash friendship. So last year I had a best friend of like two years and we'll call her Becca. Now I had a massive crush on Becca, but she had a boyfriend who they'd been together for five years and they lived together so she was pretty much in deep with him. However then things changed in like June of last year because I'm not an affectionate person but she kept like hugging me and like cuddling me when she'd stay over and I was like what the fuck is happening to she as a boyfriend and I didn't know if I was like reading the situation wrong. However, then she told me that she wanted to break up with her boyfriend and we're going to call her boyfriend Johnny. So she, Becca and Johnny

went and had like a long three hour chat. And then she came over to my like crying afterwards saying that she tried to break up with him, but just couldn't. So they decided to be just partners in crime, whatever the fuck that means. So like they weren't officially together, but also weren't broken up. And I was like, okay, I should probably like put distance between us just because how I was feeling. However, that just didn't happen because she kept like asking to meet up and then just things progressed and we went away for a weekend and basically nearly had sex, did everything but the actual sex part. And we talked about feelings and everything. And she knew that I liked her, that she said that she couldn't commit because of the situation with Johnny, which was understandable. And for two weeks, it stayed the same. She'd come

over to mine and we'd do stuff. And I was just getting really, like, thoroughly depressed at this point. But she had a two-week holiday planned with Johnny to Disney. And this had been booked for years. And before the holiday, she told me that she'd slept with Johnny, and I was like, oh, thought you were breaking up. And she just wouldn't really explain. So then she went on the two-week trip to Disney, and when she came back, she pretty much didn't talk to me the entire time she was there, and when she came back, she said that everything was over between us,

and it's also over with her and Johnny. And I got really upset because she completely disregarded my feelings, because she said that she had to focus on herself. And I got like really upset because she completely disregarded my feelings because she said that she had to focus on herself. And I was like, that is fully understandable. This is the way that she said it. I was like, okay, so you obviously do not give a fuck about me. So then that night, oh no, sorry.

I think it was like a few nights after, like we did, we were like friends for about a week. And then I got really drunk. And I just said to her, I was like, look, you really fucking hurt me. You've screwed me over. And you also screwed Johnny over.

And I said to her, I was like, I think you need to tell Johnny what happened between us because you pretty much cheated on him. And she got really hysterical and was like refusing to tell Johnny. So then I messaged Johnny and told him everything. And Becca told me that I was an awful person. And yes, I lost my best friend, situation ship and whatever that was in the span of like a week. And I guess my question is, like, was I the problem? Was she the problem?

Oh, my God. Well, lots of deep here, really. Can I just pick up on one thing, please? I do think there's this thing with like, you know, straight women where they think that doing bits with a girl isn't cheating. I agree. And I think, sister, it is. I agree. Just so you know, like, you're not 14 snogging in front of a boy to impress him. Like, you

are cheating on your partner. Totally. You are confused. You need to open up your sexuality and have a look at that. And like, I appreciate that Becca, is this a girl that it's a friend? She's going through some things Becca and she's using people like their pawns in her game. It's not good. But I actually, it's especially not good to do it to your best friend. Pick anyone else. Like you've, yeah, like you've disrespected that like, like boundary.

Sacred boundary. Yeah, you've, especially. Especially with a gay friend. Like, I don't know, I just think that's literally 101. Of being best friends with someone gay. Because it's not a joke, like you can't just like, pick them up and experiment with them and be like, nah. Don't want it anymore.

I've actually got a boyfriend. Also, now you're not my friend. Babe, I think you were so in the right to tell Johnny. Absolutely. I didn't tell Johnny. Absolutely. I just said, Johnny, listen, we've been playing around behind your back. You need to know.

I agree, especially if she is treating you like shit. Yeah. I just think this is a wider point about sleeping with your friends. Sure. Because I just, listen, this is going to be the theme. Do you need to? I don't know. I don't really sleep with my friends.

I've done it once. Oh, you don't really have any friends. I don't have any straight male friends. No, I've done it once. And listen, oh, twice maybe. Three times later. I can't remember. But I've done it a few times.

And only one of those people am I now still friends with. But we definitely don't have a close relationship. Also, babe, you're not with you. Were they your best friends? At the time in which we slept together, we were close. We were a close group of friends. And we slept together. We were close. We were a close group of friends and we slept together. And we now have like a distance between us, obviously. Obviously.

I'm not going to call him up and hang out. Obviously. I just think like, you know, whether it's a boy or a girl, I actually think even more so for girls. Like, I don't know. My understanding of female friendship is that there is like a base level understanding that no matter what, we are friends. Yeah, so we probably won't risk that for anything. Anything. Especially not a quick shag.

No. That is wild to me. Also, especially not in the sense of like, like it feels like in this situation, I'm not trying to blame you, babe, but I feel like there was quite a lack of communication. Because you like turn your fancy to her, so you just let it happen because you were like, I don't know, maybe she's liking me too and maybe she wants this to be more. But like you never by the sounds of it were like, God, are we both having feelings here? Shall we explore them?

Like that is different to just letting it happen and then being fucked over. Like that's horrible. Yeah. I just think if you're going to do it with your friend, you need to... You need to both know what you're signing up for. You need to go in eyes wide open and not... We're signing up for losing our friendship. And don't just hope for the best. This is the problem. It's that you've both gone in thinking, oh my God, maybe this will be it. But the reality is she was still bogged down

with Johnny. Oh, poor Johnny. Also, another thing, if you're gonna, if you've got the urge to break up with someone guys, especially to the point where you're like saying it, you got to do it. Yeah, because you're going to be seven months, eight months, a year down the line, you're going to do it again. Like no, no two week halfway house Disneyland trip. There's always a holiday. let me tell you. Well, also, right. Always a holiday booked, always Christmas, always a birthday.

Also, that's always a plaster. Holidays always fix things for about six weeks. Holidays will hide. Anything. A multitude of sins. I've been on many good holidays. Thought that about God bless Molly May. Off to Dubai.

Has anyone watched the latest series? I haven't, but I've seen it on Instagram. Sure. Off to Dubai, happiest times. Course, well, me too. Who wouldn't be? I could have friends with my, you know, next door neighbor that I don't know. I could. I could.

Sushi samba on the beach, not a problem. I honestly have a good time with anyone. I sustained a three-year relationship that way, let me tell you. Holidays were our forte. We had a fucking good time on holiday. It's not real life. Get home, last about two weeks. Yeah.

Last as long as your tan, I'd say. For good times. So yeah, there's a lot that went wrong, but I think you're good to be rid of her and I'm sure that was quite hard to get over. Well it's just also sad really because it didn't have to be this way. Like you could have salvaged a friendship issue if she wasn't such a little bitch. If she didn't just shag you and drop you, that would have been great. But also, babe, good riddance to bad rubbish,

as my mum always says. Like, you know, she's clearly not a good friend. Very clearly. She doesn't prioritize your feelings. She hasn't thought about you at all. She's clearly going through something and she's not able to prioritize anyone else. And just, you know, let them.

Let them? Let them. Round up? Okay. and just, you know, let them. Let them? Let them. Round up? Okay. Mini number one, go for it, sister. My advice would be not to go for it, sister. Yeah, okay. Two rounds of advice.

One, the first round is if you cannot don't, a bit like if you're intolerant to a food. Don't eat it. Well, try not. If it's worth it. Try not yet. You'll have a nibble of a cookie. That's all I'm saying. If it's worth it, you might have a nibble. So I would just decide whether it's worth the tummy ache. Okay, that's good. That's a good analogy. Yes. And if it's not worth the tummy ache, don't eat it. Sometimes it is and sometimes it's not. No. Sometimes you try and you think that cookie will be worth it, you have the bite, it's dry. Yeah.

And you think it wasn't worth it. Wasn't worth it. The problem is there's no bite of a cookie. You're either in or out in this situation. You go all in and you go all out. Oh, you could have a little snog and no one would say anything about it. But the problem is a little snog, once you're in, once it's a snog, what's a shag? Like, sorry, if you're living in the same house, especially.

Six and two throughs. You like to roar. Listen, it was a snog. Once I was in, I thought I might as well have a shag. Okay, sister. That's what works with you. Case closed. Case closed, close off. Right. Mini number two, good riddance. Close off. Right. Mini number two, good riddance. To bad rubbish. And just, you know, I think as a worthy lesson, thank you. Sadly, baby, you've been, you know, the example here. And you and Jonny have been really kicked to the curb and it wasn't fair. You've both

been used to be there. Well, two things. Number one, in a dream world, steer clear of your friends, unless again, it's worth it and you really do think that it has legs. Also, it was probably, baby, if you're real with yourself, now that you're over the trauma of it all, like, it probably was never gonna be a really good friendship because you did have that level of fancying her. And that is quite tricky to maneuver.

So maybe it's all a good thing. It's unraveled in the way it was supposed to. And that's all for now. Let's do Question of the Week. What's the best way to get a boyfriend? Right. Are you ready? was supposed to. And that's all for now. Let's do question of the week. Right. Are you ready? Don't look. It's a poll. Never been to Disneyland. Did you look? No. Question of the week. Can a situation ship ever be something that works? Option number one. Yes. If both parties are getting what they want. Option number two. No. Someone is always wanting more. I would say yes. Most people voted yes. And I would say yes.

Would you? I would say yes if everyone has, you know, signed up to the same fucking terms of agreement. This is the problem. People change the contract on a whim. I agree, but I would actually say no. I think someone always wants more. Really? Yeah, I agree. Yeah. It's not a situation ship. It's Yeah, I agree. I agree. Yeah.

It's not a situation ship is not friends with benefits. No. Friends with benefits can work if you both just want sex, but situation implies there's a situation that's not being addressed and you're still moving and not talking about it. I think someone always, and I don't even think it's like necessarily at the start. Like I think everyone could be like, oh, it's casual at the start and be fine with casual. And then I think eventually someone goes, okay, I need you in a row. The galleys,

50-50. Completely split down the middle. Which you know, is similar to the room here. Because I just think a situationship is just one of those things where it's like, it's nothing until it's something. That's like the whole thing. It's like, it's that, it's exactly that. It's when no one wants to say what it is. Don't call it a spade. Because then the spade's in the room and we have to deal with the fact that we've got a spade. What are you all so afraid of? Just call a spade a spade.

Like, the problem is, I think people live... Listen, you need to spend more time around me, guys. They live in, you know, through optimistic lenses. No! Maybe they will... Yeah, because if you're afraid to call a... They live in, you know, through optimistic lenses. No! Maybe they will, yeah, because if you're afraid to call us... I don't think it's that. I think they're living in the grey. And I think there's a lot of freedom in the grey.

But the grey leaves room for optimism is what I'm trying to say. Can I read a definition? Yeah. A situationship is a casual romantic or sexual relationship that lacks clear commitment and defined boundaries. Exactly. So like you can still get with someone else on a night out. Perfect. Grey. You can eventually ask them to be your boyfriend if you want.

That's only good if one person wants to do that. I know. That's the problem with situationships. They're big problems, guys. Yeah. I agree. I agree on them being a problem. That's why I don't think they can work. But I think they can work if both people are happy to live in the grey forevermore. Literally it will be forevermore though. Until someone decides to either call it quits or jump in. Yeah.

It's a messy place to be. Yeah. Let me tell you. Right. Thank you so much guys for listening to Leave A Message this week. That was really fun. Brilliant episode. I had lots of fun.

Guys, we had new mics. How did you feel about them? I hope, hopefully good. Was the audio good? Tell us. Please leave a comment. But don't like be bitchy. Oh, you can be bitchy.

I'll feed them back to James Gilmore. Don't worry. No, we're trying our best. Okay, you can be bitchy in the comments, but you can't be bitchy in the stars. You've got to just do five stars even if you didn't like the audio. Defo and definitely, you know, keep subscribing and following because we need all the help we can get. Because no haters here.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, you can be bitchy in the comments, but you can't be bitchy in the stars. You've got to just do five stars even if you didn't like the audio. Defo, and definitely keep subscribing and following, because we need all the help we can get. Yeah. Love you. Thank you. See you next week. Bye! Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer.

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