Leave A Message with Ally & G - 66 - Long Distance? How To Not Get The Ick Via Sext

Episode Date: June 4, 2025

How do you tell your boyfriend that his nudes are just not cutting it?! You send a voice note into Leave A Message and let Ally & G help you out! From long-distance icks to boys that aren’t willing to wander (it’s crucial to go where the wind blows!)… plus there’s a Gally in *literal tears* because of a boy that keeps messing her about. Have we taught you nothing?! Ally & G are helping you navigate not getting the ick through a sext and when to know that it’s time to let that boy go! Gally’s, class is in session. Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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You know when you only know one side of the wedding? I've heard that at most of the weddings I've been to actually. See, I haven't, but I have. So my friend Rachel got married and I took Colin. And so he didn't know anyone. That is so weird. Like lots of love to Rachel. I wouldn't have invited him to be honest.

I know, I can't believe she gave me a last one. I wouldn't have said yes. No, I know. I'm way more fun on my own. Do you know what I mean? I've only been to a couple, but the ones I went to, the Greyling Girls ones, it was like all the girls know, like none of our boyfriends came and we had the best time. Yeah. I think a wedding is best when you do know both of the people getting married.

Definitely. Because otherwise it is a bit like... Or if you have a big group that you're going with. If you're there with a big group. Yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. They're funny though, because like... What if they split you up? that you'll go there with. If you're there with a big group, yeah. Yeah, it's crazy. They're funny though, because like... What if they split you up? Because they do do that sometimes.

I hate it when they do that. To like mingle everyone, because also I guess they don't want like a big rowdy group in the corner having more fun than everyone else. So then they like split up all the uni lot or whatever. I know. I'm just saying, let everyone live their lives. Let everyone sit with their friends.

How often are we going to get to do this? Oh, it's just not, I know I can't even think about a wedding yet, but it's just not a three course meal for me. I don't understand. I just don't want to sit there. It's just plain pasta in the wheel. I don't know what to tell you. Why? What do you mean?

It's dull. It's so boring, those three course sit down dinners. I want the food. I've come here. No, no, no. Oh, there will be food, but there will not be like a sit down table service dinner at my wedding. What about buffet? Oh, at all?

No. Really? I think you've got to have some sitting moments for like speeches and stuff. Yeah, for speeches. I might do, I'd like like big bowl food. I'd like my main to be pasta in the wheel. Yes. But you'll have to be sat for that.

You can sit for your pasta in the wheel. Yeah. It's never going to get signed off by Raw, sadly, but... Raw will want like full like pork. It's not going to happen. He'll want like meat and two veg. I will just say I will not walk up that aisle. He'll want a roast.

Like that's the vibe I'm getting. It'll be like meat, veg, like a bit of potato. Like dry veg. I'm not doing it. Soggy veg. I will simply not walk up the aisle. Sorry. You will.

I will not. Not if it's going to be meat and two veg. Oh, that's my dear of hell. If only this was in the future and we could insert a picture here of me at Alan Ross' wedding with my pork joint and my meat and two veg. No, no. Will you not have any cultural influences? Yeah, I'm going to do... This is the thing, I want a really culturally...

Vague. ...blended wedding. Sure. I want to have a lot of Eastern influences, I think. But then also, like, I don't really want to be eating chicken chow mein. Do you know what I mean? Nah, don't think so. I think I'd want to have like, I don't know, I haven't really given it much thought other

than pasta in the wheel, to be totally honest. It's just pasta in the wheel. That's all she wants is pasta in the wheel. Well, actually, sure, get your pasta in the wheel. Yeah, they're weird, though. They are. They're weird. I also will like just wave the flag for the people that are like breaking the blueprint

because I think Instagram has been like quite a detrimental thing for personality in weddings because everything looks the same. And like, I get it. Like you're inspired by different things, but it's like, it's all the same. And like, where are you in it? Like it is your day and you can do it however you want. When people look back, how will they remember yours any different to how they remember everyone

else? This is what I'd like to know. And I do think the weddings that are like the best that I've been to when they've been so personal, like so about the bride and groom, do you know what I mean? Or the groom and groom, bride and bride. Like that's all you really care for. You're there to celebrate those people. Yeah, funny. It's such a funny thing. Well, I also just think like, you know, we've been talking about this a lot recently. I

think a wedding is great, but do you guys know that a wedding means marriage for life? Like I just don't think that people really deep that. No, but they don't because people just get divorced. I know, but like, you know, it's not great to go in thinking, oh, I could always get a divorce. Like in a dream world, you'd enter a marriage thinking, this is for life. But then people worry that that's not like realistic anymore because we live so long.

Then don't get married is my answer to that. But then like legally, like it's sometimes quite helpful to be married. It's also fucking jarring to get divorced legally. Do you know what I mean? Like it's all bad. No, but babe, I think most people get married with the intention that they will stay with that person. I don't think anyone's like... I'm just saying, I do think the whole wedding industry has clouded that a bit. Well, because it just becomes something that is the next step to do.

Rather than like marriage. Exactly. Because like, don't get me wrong, it's fun to dress up for a day, but it is one day. That's why it's good when you get married in a church and they make you go to all those classes. You have to go to like... My mom and James had to do that because they were both divorced. Yeah, and you have to go to like Christian... You have to go to church once a week. You have to basically qualify to get married in church again.

Yeah. It's crazy. But that's why my dad didn't get married in the church to my mom. Because he didn't want to do the classes. Well, he'd already done it. And I think he was like, don't want to do classes and also like don't want to like rinse repeat.

What about your mom? Because that is weird to do the same wedding again. Yeah. Yeah, but surely your mom would have wanted to. I think she did, but she got overruled. God bless. Off to St. Lucia they went. Oh, I'd rather be there anyway.

Yeah, she's sick. When you look back at it, it's just the three of us having a sick time on holiday. So nice. That's beautiful. Yeah, but her family hated her obs because there was no wedding. Maybe they'll renew their vows. Maybe they will. They spoke about it, but then they stopped again. They should.

They're not friends again. It was so funny. I rang my mum the other day, me and Halse, and we were just like chat, chat, chat. And I was like, anyway, how's my dad? And she was like, yeah, he's doing much better. Cause basically he stopped taking his antidepressants just cause they make him sleepy. But then he's like, obviously like depressed. Then he had to start taking them again. And my mom was like, he's so much better. He's taking his antidepressants again. Say hello to him, say hello to him. So anyway, she walks out the back where he's like got this shed that he does,

that he calls them projects. I don't know what he's making in there. It's questionable. But anyway, she goes out, she turns the camera around to him so he can just see like see me in holes and I go, hi dad, how are you? And he just goes, not good. And I was like, mom, I thought you said he was better. And I was like, what's wrong?

And he was like, many projects going wrong. What are his projects? He like builds lamps and like tables. And then she showed me this thing. My mom is a good sport to be fair to her. She goes, look at this, this is his latest project. She walks around the back of the garden. There's this kind of like, I'm going to call it

like a high top table in the garden. And he's kind of marble painted it. It looks like a scenic scape of like an aerial view of Earth. And it's just in our garden. Bright blue and green it is. And I just think, are you going to keep that there, mum? Jeez, I want it. What am I to do with it?

He's made it now. God bless. Listen, this is the problem with having too much free time. God bless, Martin. He's got to find something else to do. The lamps he makes are actually quite gritty, though I will say. But I don't know that they're like, you know... This is what happens when men like, retire. Yeah. It's just like...

Golf and... And projects. Yeah, like joinery. Like he's got this big laser machine and you go home and you can smell him before you see him. He's just burning plastic. I don't know what it is about men. They've got no chill.

They can't just sit down and just do like, just watch TV. Like just literally sit down and watch TV. Yes. We'd rather like game because they're doing something or like do something. And I'm like, it's not necessary. They don't really exist often, do they? No. Or even like I find it hard to find a man that will... Especially older men.

Meander. Oh, my ex would never just meander with me. He'd be like, well, where are we going? I'm like, on a walk. We're just walking for... Weather wind blows us. For the sake of us. Colin.

Also, where do you want me to go? You live in the middle of nowhere. Stupid. But do you know what I mean? It's like, I'm just being, like, maybe we'll get a coffee. Maybe we'll stumble across a market. I don't know. This is like, this is like raw. And he said this to us the other day. He was like, maybe we'll get a coffee. Maybe we'll stumble across a market. I don't know. This is like Ror.

He said this to us the other day. He was like, girls are so weird. Ror's main takeaway from spending a lot of time with the three of us is just that girls are weird. No, honestly. And like, that's our main topic of conversation. Like, talking, talking about anything else, then he'll just be like, God, you guys are so weird. He said the other day, he was like, so what? You just like, say you're going to

see each other tomorrow and then you just never arrange a time. I'll ask her when you're seeing G and she'll be like, I don't know, summertime today. And he's like, how can you live like that? Well, that is a poor failure of Allie and G limited to be fair. I like the freedom. I would do that with my other friends. When will I see you on? Do you want to see each other on this weekend? Yeah, sure. When you're seeing them? I don't know. We'll probably we'll find a time. Oh, yeah. I don't love that.

I don't mind that. I think that's a you thing, not a girl thing. I just... I would struggle with that. The only reason I can do it with you is because I know your diary. Well, also, I know where you live and I know where you are. And no matter what, I'll see you on Monday. I know what time you do certain things.

So I know roughly. I couldn't just be like, see you at the weekend. Because what am I doing? Like, I would say tonight. What if I'm then like at the gym and they're like, OK, you you at the weekend. Because what am I doing? Like I would say tonight. What if I'm then like at the gym and they're like, OK, you ready? And I'm like, am I fuck ready? No, no, no, no, no, no. Like I would say to her before like on the week, like, should we hang out this weekend? And she'll be like, yeah.

And then closer to the time. But you'd know a day surely. Yeah, yeah. I would know that I'm free Saturday afternoon. Oh, yeah. But then I wouldn't five days in advance say, should we meet at two? No, I just think we all. The problem is, do you ever have this when you assume that you and your friend Yeah, oh yeah. But then I wouldn't five days in advance say should we meet at two? No, I just think we all...

The problem is, do you ever have this when you assume that you and your friend think the afternoon means the same time? So like a coffee for me on the weekend means 10, 11, no later. 11, yeah, I would say is my cap for a coffee. Yeah, but like what if someone was like, yeah, meet you for a coffee and they thought you meant like two? Or nine? I could do nine obs, but yeah.

Even that, that would shock me. I just assumed that we all think, or like dinner, I'm like half six, seven. Like if anyone then came at me with like a half eight, nine, I'd be like, what? Horrible. So maybe it's just that we all have this unwritten language where we know what coffee means, whereas Ror would be like, where's the coffee and what time is the coffee? Whereas we'd just be like, well, it's coffee on Saturday. And then what will you do when you have a coffee? I honestly don't know, King. Like, literally.

We don't need to have clubs in our hands to have a good time. But this is the thing about boys. They need to have activities to do. They're such doers. Boring. I said to him last night, you need to spend some more time thinking. He looked at me. Guys, Al is really taking Roar to school at the moment.

It's quite scary to be around. I said to him, you need to spend more time thinking. Spend more time with your thoughts. When was the last time you just... He's so funny and he's so sweet because he was like, I was like, when was the last time you just sat down and thought? You need to spend more time with your thoughts. Have you thought about X, Y, Z?

And he was like, and then he was like, wait till tomorrow. You'll see. I was like, what's happening tomorrow? I don't know. I think he's going to spend an hour of time thinking today. With his private thoughts. With his private thoughts. Well, and then he'll come and relay them to you.

I think so. He was like, wait and see. Tell you tomorrow. I was like, scheduling time to think. Yeah. Scheduling his thinking time. But that's how you have to behave. Like they don't just like, you know, make a coffee and just like sit with their private

thoughts. They don't do that. So I'm like, you need to schedule time for your private thoughts. Oh, I have. I really got him in boot camp. He's in boot camp. We went for drinks the other day and I literally told him off like he was a toddler in front of everyone in the fucking windmill.

And I just, you know, as he should. You know with a toddler when you like take them to one side to give them a bollocking, she took him to one side. And then he came back with his tail between his legs like sorry girls, I'm really sorry. How did you initiate getting up from the table to have the talk? No, no, it was just the four of us. She had to like stand up and like scoot him over to like that. It was a really long bench table.

And she was over here, so she like got up. She was like, no, no, let's have this out then. Got up. Well, because first we were just fighting across the table and the two of them were just looking at us like, you know, not even at Chipping In. So I thought, I honestly had nothing to say. No one's taking my side. I just didn't know, like I didn't really think anyone was in the wrong.

But I saw why everyone was fighting. So I was just like, I'm just going to let this play. I'm just going to eat my chicken wings. Me and Halls like pouring wine. I can fight anywhere. No worries, time or day. She's not ashamed. And nor should she be.

God love him. He's in boot camp. He's in boot camp. And to be fair to him, he has not resisted boot camp. No, no, no, he's signed up. He's signed up. I mean, it's conscription. So he hasn't got a choice. It's full conscription. So I'll feed back on his private thoughts, guys. So I'll. I mean, it's conscription, so he hasn't got a choice.

It's full conscription. So I'll feed back on his private thoughts, guys. So I'll let you know how it happened. I hope he has some good ones. Who knows? Hi, guys. We haven't congratulated G on her authorship. Is that a word?

Thank you so much. My authorship? I don't know. Authorhood? Authorhood I like. Author in the hood. I don't know. I don't want to mis like. Author in the hood. I don't know. I don't want to misgender you there, but...

I definitely wouldn't ever gender myself with the title author. I don't think I will say that until I'm, you know, New York Times bestseller. Then maybe I would. Maybe. But like, I just think there's loads of authors out there. I agree. I hate to say it, babe. I just think like you could get locked. Hopefully this doesn't happen because, you know, I've got my eyes on the studios. But yeah, Al just wants to sell it.

All I care about is selling the rights. That's literally my main goal. She literally is just like, is it good? I'm like, I don't know. If it's shit, guys, you will not catch us talking about that book. Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it gets bad, bad reviews, I'll never talk about it again.

Ever again. She wrote a book, didn't want to talk about it. Imagine my publishing company are like, are you going to talk about it this week? And I'll be like, I can't. I don't think so. I think we'll just skip on that. It's a good book, I don't know if it went too well. Imagine my publishing company are like, are you going to talk about it this week? And I'll be like, I can't. I don't think so. I think we'll just skip on that. It's a breach of contract.

But yeah, a lot of people do write, like no defamation to anyone that's ever written a book. Brilliant. Also, I have nothing but respect now because oh my God, it's a lot of words. I hit 50k the other day and I was like, whoa, I need to lie down in a dark room. I think about those people that write like, you know. No, no, mine's like 85,000, which I actually think is quite a small book. Yeah. I think when you, it will be like a...

Yeah. Yeah. People write like hundreds and thousands of words. Lauren Roberts wrote three of those fat chunky books. And she's 12. In three years. What is happening? Who is this child?

She... She writes, she writes romantically. She wrote the powerless trilogy that we were talking. Do you remember we were listening to them because we did her interview. She wrote three fat, fat, fat books. They must have been what, 250,000 words each? No, I doubt it. They were pretty. Not reckless.

No, fearless was pretty chunky. Yeah. At 12 years old. She was 18. She was 18. Sorry. This is Leave a Message. This is the podcast by the Gallies for the Gallies. We love receiving your voice notes. This is Leave a Message. This is the podcast by the galleys for the galleys. We love receiving your voice notes and I feel like this week we're gonna go full agony aunt.

Got some serious dilemmas to contend with today sis and... I'm feeling serious. I'm feeling like we're well equipped. I think so. We've got a lot going on and one thing I will say about Al and I is that we cover a wide... Spectrum. Of experience. Correct. we cover a wide spectrum of experience. Correct. And of opinion.

Currently and historically. Yes. Oh, and of opinion. How boring would it be if we both thought the same? Dull. Dull. It's dishwater. And that's one thing this podcast is not, is dull.

Will we pick a name? Before you do that, I just want to say, listen, guys, if you're listening now and you haven't subscribed, I don't know what the hell you're doing here. Okay? Please, it's serious now. I will, I sound beggy, I am. I know, we're on our knees. Like, everyone's like, Lamb live, Lamb live, do another Lamb live. Do you guys know how much persuading it takes us to do Lamb live? How will we do Lamb live if there's no proof of our listenership? How will we? So get proving. Okay? This week, the girl is what we called.

Oh, um, do you want a name of the character in my book that is half Asian, like Miss Ali Mack? Is it Maggie? Nicole? Yep. Hey guys, I just want to say I love you guys. I literally binge listened to your episodes. I think I've caught up with them within the past two months, all of them. So big love. My big thing is I've kind of

been my boyfriend over a year and a half. I'll cut to Jase, I've started sexting because we're doing our distance for a few months. Over the past maybe six months we've been sexting. He thinks that obviously my I guess nudes are hot, I get quite imaginative. But although like the things he writes are hot, don't get me wrong, and I'm by the way really attracted to him, I just don't know how to tell him I feel like he should be taking his nudes differently and he keeps asking me like oh like do you have any recommendations but I just I actually have no imagination like I just don't know why they're just not that hot to me. Any help would be appreciated and experienced yeah. Oh well babe I've got a lot of experience.

No, we between the two of us... I think we're well equipped to speak on this topic. ...have a lot of experience on this. My main thing, actually, is what is good about sexy pictures? Okay. Listen, don't get me wrong. I've been there, done that, and I found them sexy at the time. But objectively...

Yeah. ...in the wrong angle, in the wrong light, it's just a dick. Yeah, I don't think you're like a bad person or you don't fancy him because his pictures don't turn you on. I think you have to experiment and I think you not knowing what you like is fine. Because you don't know what you like until you see it. I'm a video girl. I used to be a video girl too.

I'm definitely, but like receiving. I would like, happily receive videos and find them sexier than a picture. Do you know what Colin, like weirdly, and I don't know why we tried this. He used to send me pictures of him training in the gym and it really turned me on. Oh, I can believe that. Yeah, like it really like made me like hot. I can believe that. And that he never showed me his dick. Like it was so it's such weird stuff.

I think that this is the problem is that we've all got the bar for sexy pictures and it's just like anatomy. And it's like that's not... We all see sexy pictures all the time. Like on Instagram. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, maybe not full peen, but we see like, you know...

We see the bulge in the Calvin Klein ad. We see like, you know, we see the bulge in the Calvin Klein ad. We see the bodge. We see the bodge. We see it all. So I think it's nothing new. I think you've got to just be bold and brave and suggest if he's, especially if he's asking, just be like, take a video of yourself in the shower. Like I actually think actually the reason that pictures are sexy is when you can't see the sexy part. Yeah. Like... Or if it's like teamed up with sexting. So say if they're being like really erotic and even if they just send you a picture of

like I don't know where they are, because sometimes someone being in a really unsexy setting but saying really sexy things to you is quite sexy. What about voice notes? Voice notes. Oh, that can give me the ick sometimes. If they're good at it, like let him try because if they're good at it, that can be sexy. Videos are better, I feel. Yeah. Basically, everyone's just got to be like quite, you can't go half hog on this

stuff. If you're going to do it and this is how you're going to keep your sex life alive whilst you're apart, you've got to go full OnlyFans. Like you've got to be If you're gonna do it and this is how you're gonna keep your sex life alive whilst you're apart, you've got to go full OnlyFans. Like you've got to be thinking you're making money. Get creative, okay? Be your own creative director and here's to you by the sounds of it. And also it's not bad to say, you don't need to say, I don't find your pics as sexy, but you can say like, why don't you try this? I think I'd find it really sexy if you. like, why don't you try this? I think I'd find it really sexy if you, yes. Count it in those terms.

I think it would turn me on. I'd like to watch you do this whilst I get myself off. Do you know what I mean? And then he like, you're like sexting within the suggestion. And then they're in, cause you know. But also boys are so literal, that's the problem, is that that's why he's sending you a picture and thinking, oh, that's going to turn her on.

Cause I'm hard, and I want you to know. Right. But you need to explain as I am doing with... Bootcamp! It's sexting bootcamp! And why don't you say, why don't you go and spend some time with your private sexual thoughts? Private sexual thoughts? And then come back to me on how you think we could elevate here. And also you, sis, need to spend some time with your own private sexual thoughts and think like, what is your fantasy?

This private thoughts thing. Private thoughts kills me. This private thoughts thing started because of Holly and she literally, we were acting up. She's so mental and funny. She literally, we were talking about something and she literally just goes, oh, don't worry, I have my private thoughts. I have my private thoughts.

And she was like, I think by September you need to not be having any more private thoughts. Now we love private thoughts. But I think you need to think like, because you know, it's weird sometimes you might be watching like a film or like not even porn, but just like anything and something turns you on and you're like, why did that make my fanny flutter? Yeah. You just got to tune into that stuff and then see if you can get it relayed in your relationship. Also, guys, sorry, tips for long distance to keep it sexy that's not sexting. There are many other ways to keep the spark alive.

And I don't know that I recommend this anymore because the raw males are no defamation, not the most reliable. But in the post, I used to do that. That's actually way sexier because of the effort that they've gone to. And especially when it's like a surprise. Yes. Or like even like a letter. If someone wrote me a Rottica, oh my god, in the post? Yeah.

Heaven. You think guys like that? Yeah, I do. Really? Well, they won't admit it, but of course they do. It's filth, it's smart. Anything filthy. Also, boys like do like to feel adored.

They like to feel like you're thinking about them. No matter what they try to palm off. They do enjoy the feeling of being wanted and coveted. Why do you think that they said that he's sending dick pics because he wants her to go, oh yeah, you're so big. I do think that it's like, I haven't sexted in years. Oh, I wouldn't even know what to do anymore. You just video call.

Yeah, video call, live video call is good. The only thing I... Why didn't I used to love that? I think sometimes, okay, I was in such a neat situation, but my ex was quite time restricted. And he was also good service, Wi-Fi restricted when he was away.

Yeah. And so I sometimes found like having to be And he was also good service Wi-Fi restricted when he was away. And so I sometimes found like having to be in the mood at six, because that's when we're calling and that's when he's got Wi-Fi. And I sometimes found that a tiny bit tricky. So there was something about the flexibility of the video and the like, I can pick it up when I do that I quite enjoyed. But I do think if you're long distance for a long time, you could definitely do some sexy phone calls. Oh, 100 percent.

Also, you have to just like, it's so hard, isn't it? Because it is a 360 as well. Like, you have to also be having like really like some nights you might just want to stay up and like talk. I was just about to say, it's not sexy without intimacy. You've got to also have the intimacy, which is what is so hard to maintain when you're long distance. Do you know there's this app now, I was telling you all about this the other day because I

was like, Oh, imagine if we had this when we were at uni. Is it the way you both answer the same question? Every day. Oh, yeah, that one is fun. Yeah. It's actually I really highly recommend that that is a great app. If everyone's on board, it's amazing. So yeah, it will give you like, I think we did used to do it too, actually.

I think you did when I think Colin and I first started, I think you downloaded it. But it's like, it's really good for people in normal relationships too. And will you do like some of it sexy, some of it's like... Like what's the first thing you remember? What's something you remember about our first day? Yes. Or some of it's like where's your like... Or some of it's literally like political.

Like it's just anything. It's really good. And there's like, where's your like... Or some of it's literally like political. Like it's just anything. It's really good. And there's another app that's new. Every day it asks you to take a picture or write a note that will automatically appear on their home screen on their phone. So like you'll just pick up your phone and you'll have got your picture or your message from them. But it's just through this one app.

Sweet. And I don't know why that's different to texting, but I feel like the effort that it takes to do that might feel a bit different. Yeah. Also, sometimes nice to have different streams, like keep your texting mundane. Yeah. And then, you know, sex on an encrypted app, like where you only go to do that or something. Do you know what I mean? Like I actually do think that it is only sexy if you have intimacy, because otherwise it's just like, you know, an only fans kind of vibe. I know. And also you just feel a bit like...

Am I just like a piece? Hmm. Yeah. So you want to want them. You don't want to just want... Dick. Yeah. Or like, you know, yeah, horn. Like someone just making you horny for the sake of it. You want to want them. That's the point.

So you do need to articulate to him, babe, what you think you might like. Throw some stuff at the wall. multiple matchups onto one slip with same game Parlay Plus. What's better than playoff hockey? Overtime playoff hockey. Get more from the game with live overtime markets. Download FanDuel today and get more with North America's number one sports book. Please play responsibly. 19 Plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling

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Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer. From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you're actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there. With over 3,000 games to choose from including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out. Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions.

19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact CONNECTS Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave A Message... If you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details

in the episode description. Now, this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics. But if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this, then get voice noting. Hey, Gaddies. I'm currently recording this while I'm crying because well, you'll see in a minute, you'll understand.

So here's the situation. I've been on and off with this boy for eight months. And in January, I got a phone call and it was this girl saying, oh, he's been out with this other girl. And I was like, you're joking. Like I kind of knew but like, I didn't want to assume but I kind of knew. Anyways, that he got with this girl, they were literally together a fucking week. It was an embarrassment. She cheated on him. And I found out because my friend was dating his friend and anyways. So I found out when they broke up and he added me back and I was like, okay, we'll just see what happens. And

so far it's been going really well until he's been posted up with some other bitch on her fucking private Instagram account. I don't know what to do but I'm like genuinely in love with this boy and I don't think I can deal with like cutting him off. And I know I'm gonna have Annie screaming at me, get rid of him, but I don't, I really don't think I can. And I don't know what to do. Oh, babe.

Queen, I just want to hug you. I know, I want to give you a big fat hug. We'll give you one now, ready through the camera. Okay. Do you feel better? Probably not. Probably not, because this... Oh, this shit fucks you up.

Hard. I've got much to say, this shit fucks you up hard. I've got much to say. And we're going to go gently because you're in it. And when you're in it, it's very hard. Like, you know, like we will say things that you already know. You've literally just said to us, I'm going to have the galley shouting at me. And I genuinely believe with things like this, you cannot leave someone until you're ready and you shouldn't beat yourself up for that. If you still have hope and your hope

is keeping you, even when he's making you feel that sad and treating you badly, you have to stay because one day you won't tolerate it anymore. You will literally be like, I can't have you hurt me again, So I'm out. I think it sounds like if he's really good with you and you've been able to fall in love with him, then he's clearly showing up in a way that is giving you the full boyfriend experience. But he is playing the field. And you've seen it now multiple times, which probably means he's not ready for a relationship. I think she's absolutely right that, you know, first of all, it doesn't really matter what anyone else thinks, babe.

It's your life and like you have to live according to you and how and move the way that feels best to you. And like if you're not there yet, you're not there yet. But the only piece of advice that I would give you is to try and think about if you're not there yet, you're not there yet. But the only piece of advice that I would give you is to try and think about if you were your best friend, what would you say to her? Because when you're in it, it's easy to like latch on to, I don't know, also these boys, they're so good with their words and they're so good at talking their way out. Also, I don't doubt that with you, he's all in. When he's with you. Do you know what I mean? 100%.

Yeah. But, you know, you can't now unsee what you've seen. And you want and deserve more than that, you know you do. You don't want to just be his side piece with five other girls. You don't want that. And if this was happening to your best friend with kindness, what would you say to her? And what would you want for her? What would you want for her?

And like, it's not an overnight thing, like it would take a while to feel like you can even like acknowledge that. But... And also you might feel like, you know when you feel like the cat has more lives and you're like, no, no, I can talk to him and he can stop. And I've never said, I want this to be just us or like whatever. And if you need to go through those stages with him of giving him like, no, no, this time, you're gonna be just with me,

then you might need to do that. And he sadly might need to let you down again until you leave. I was gonna say, you could like do that, but based on his behavior, don't sadly expect that it will be off the bat perfect because he's clearly not into commitment right now for whatever reason. It's so hard.

The only advice is if you can try to zoom out even like a millimeter to think like objectively, is he treating me how I feel in my highest elevated self that I deserve to be treated? Is he hitting those markers? Probably not. Also, I will say the way that you're feeling right now is going to be more detrimental to you in the long run than you could ever know. And the one thing that I wish I'd really listen to and I wish with all like with so many boys that treated me badly, and I just kept going because I just wanted to be liked by them. Like, I literally just thought,

well, like, if they like me, then great, I'm good enough. Me too. And it's like, actually, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're good enough, like, irrespective of them. Trust me, you're going to be better, because you're not going to be crying, and you're not going to be let down. And you're not, do you know what I mean?

So like bad boys that treat you badly will, damage is like too strong, but they will, it will hurt you and it will last. And on the other side, and I know it's really hard when you feel like you love them, but on the other side, there actually is better, better by yourself because you're not being hurt. Well, there's such power in it. Yeah. There is so much power in, you know,

determining your own self-worth rather than letting some shit boy do that for you. You do have to learn it though. Like I genuinely believe all of those little shits that I let fuck me over. 100%. It was all necessary. 100%.

So... Because also, like, I don't know how old you are, but definitely when I was younger, I was so naive to the fact that, like, I really did think that they would be better. I genuinely believed that they would change. And now I'm, you know, withered and old and hardened, but I only got hardened because I did those things.

But you just learned that you have to take people at face value and what they're telling you. And this is, yeah. Like what he's telling you via his behavior. Believe him when he shows you who he is. Let him show you. Because it's easy. I mean, listen, babe, I've done it too.

I've talked my way out of sticky situations. Don't get me wrong. Like it's easy to talk. It's the easiest thing in the world to say, I'll do this and I'll be better and la la la. It's actions and behavior that like prove. And if you are going to stay with him, I would just say you need to be,

don't let him live in any gray. You need to be really clear of what you expect from him. You might even want to ask him, do you think you can give that to me? And at least give him the option to say, I actually don't think I can right now. Yeah. He might not be growing up enough to do that yet. I don't know how old he is.

Yeah, they're little shits. Also, they love that we love them and we do because we just do. I believe you think you love him because I've been there. He feels like a kingpin. He's sitting pretty... He does. I don't even know what a kingpin means, actually. Like the head of a drug gang.

Like, basically... Sorry, not a drug gang. Like, basically, um, not, not, sorry, not a drug gang. A, like, Pablo Esca... A car town. Yes, like a car... Like a little girl car town. He's like getting all these... Loved up girls.

A brothel. A brothel. He's in control of everything here. Yes. He has all the control over all of these girls. Also, these boys, they get away with this shitty behavior. Because they can talk. Because they can talk and because they know that you'll forgive them

and because they post on Finsters instead of Insters and it's ridiculous. They're not stupid, yeah. No, they're too smart. Actually, it's the problem. Yeah, the problem is as well, and this is absolutely, you know, not even about you, but in general, there are too many girls that just let it slide. So they assume. It's fine.

She'll take me back. No worries. Of course she will. Oh, angel girl, don't cry anymore. I know that's easiest. But don't waste your tears. No, it's okay to cry. Sorry for the first time I actually asked her not to cry.

No, no, listen, it's okay to cry. Sob and sob and sob. And then there's got to be a deadline to your sobbing babe because you can't be sitting in the pits for... Unless you enjoy the feeling, you can't let him make you cry day in, day out. I would guess she's not enjoying the feeling. It's so draining. And it's just, you know...

Do you know, when I was with my ex, oh my God, listen, we had parts of our relationship were brilliant, I feel like a snag him all the time. He's a good guy. But I cried a lot. I don't cry like that anymore. I can't remember the last time I cried. They shouldn't make you cry. They really shouldn't make you cry. You don't need to be crying once a week. You don't really, yeah.

Don't need to be disappointed every day you don't. Like you just don't. They need to hit the bar that is the, like low bars consistently every day, I'd say. And if they don't, it's bootcamp. Okay? That's what happens is you get them to bootcamp. But the problem is bootcamp only works, babe, if they're up for bootcamp.

Oh, they've got to be up. Yeah, against their will, bootcamp isn't so good. Do you know what I mean? So effective. Well, it just won't work. It's more work for you. Absolutely. Well, this is what even what I said.

Crying in fatigue. This is even what I said to Rue last night. Like, I can't fix you. Get with your thoughts. I'm not going to think for you. I said to basically, yeah, I can lead you to a higher place. Listen, I'll lead you to water, boy, but you best drink. Do you know what I mean? And like, I really do mean that. And I can say that as someone now who's done a shitload of therapy. I had to do it for myself. There was so my mum used

to tell me, I think you need to see someone. I'd be like, no, I'm fine. Until which point I decided I was ready. You like, don't, this is my- You can't fix him. Yeah. Don't go in. I don't want you to feel like there's a chance because of what you can do. It's actually got nothing to do with you. It will only ever, and listen, it might stick for two weeks, but unless it's coming from in here, in him, it won't stick. It won't stick. He needs to want to be a better person, a good person.

He wants to want to be with you and not other girls. Do you know what I mean? That has to come from him. Yeah. Shall we round up? Yeah, let's. OK, Nicole, number one, get sexy, get filthy, get authoritative. Ask for what you want.

Good. Be bold, be creative. Yes, be creative. Maybe you could buy some props. Don't be shy. Maybe you could ask him to dress up. Yeah, maybe you could. Yeah.

Oh, I used to find this quite fun. I used to set him like a challenge. Oh, fun. Like when you're in the library, go to the bathroom, put your pants on, take a picture. Yeah, sexy. Sexy. Silly. take a picture. Yeah sexy sexy Yeah, good, that's actually half of it. Yeah take a picture of your just a scandaler Decency I was like, okay at your desk in the office take your trousers down

Or like send me a picture of your boner while you're at your desk. That is fit sexy. Yeah in your trousers I don't need to say yeah. Yeah in your trousers. I need to see the bulge Just bulge but you know what I mean like stuff like that is fit. Sexy. Yeah. In your trousers, I don't need to see it. Yeah, yeah, in your trousers. I need to see the bulge. Just bulge. But do you know what I mean? Like, stuff like that, it's like, that's more playful. Yes. It needs to be fun. Is my two cents.

Very good. Nicole number two, love you. Love you, babe. Look after yourself. Love yourself. Pour into you as much as you can whilst he's fucking you over. And just trust that you will know when to leave and how long you can stay for.

Just trust that. The time will come. The time will come. Maybe you could release yourself from the notion that you can fix him. Because if you can do that first, that might give you some clarity. And some perspective.

Yeah. And expectation. It's his shit, babe. Yeah. It is his shit. It's his shit, babe. Yeah. It is his shit. It's question of the week time, girls. Long distance galleys. How are you keeping things spicy?

We love. Okay. Oh, this I quite like. Oh, me and my ex did this. We made a list of all the things we wanted to do when we were back together. Yeah. Even if it was just silly stuff like snog in the doorway, we would like make a list and we'd add to it

like on a shared note. And sometimes it would be like so outrageous and sometimes it would just be like, you know, play footsie under the table. So this galley said, rather than having phone sex, we just talk a lot about what we will eventually do when we're together. Printing spicy pics and hiding them in their room for them to find when they find them.

Oh yeah, that's good. That's good. Oh, the toys that you can control. Can you do that? Yeah. Yeah, I've got one. That far away? You can do it on me if you want.

It's an app. I see. I don't know that that would turn me on because I'd be like... But then it forces you to be like slower? I see. I don't know that that would turn me on because I'd be like, I like, I'd. But then it forces you to be like slower. I see. Less. I see. Less.

To the left. Please. You're holding it babe. It's not a fucking hovercraft. What was the blue sheet signal stretching across the country? And how is it floating above your clitoris? Right. You have to hold it on. You can do the stretching across the country. And how is it floating above your clitoris?

Right. You have to hold it on. You can do the little to the left. So then what is the point? Oh, come on. Like, is that that sexy? I don't know. Slower, faster.

Is that it? Slower, faster. Vibes on, vibes off. Do, do, do, do, do. I hate that shit. Oh, my God. I just want one straight. Me too. I do not want that. What is it? I hate that shit. Oh my God. I just want one straight... Me too!

I do not want that. What is it? I hate the... Have you had the one that's like... Yes. And I'm like, where are you going? Yes. And why is the crescendo so fast?

I hate it. Okay. A lot of basically what we've just been saying, dirty talk, nudes, a good vibrator, FaceTime flashes. That's quite fun, out and about, little flash. Right, can we do a gear shift into the next question? Yeah. This is for our over 25 heterosexual galleys, very specific.

What advice would you give to a younger galley when it comes to men? Oh guys, you're in the X factor over 25, just like us, welcome in. Horrible place to be, isn't it? Joking, best place to be. Okay, I'm not going to read out the really, you know, ones that have clearly been scorned. Scorned, scorned women. Don't trust any of them. OK, this is a good one. Trust your instincts.

Good. Someone said this to me. Why do you keep ignoring your gut? Good. Don't ignore your gut. Don't settle for if he'd just change this. Know your worth and values. Forever is a long time to hope they change.

Good. Never ever make them the center of your universe. You're so much more than your boyfriend. Oh my gosh. This is good. Don't accept crumbs. Good. Too often.

Really good. Don't be a yes man. Don't be afraid of speaking up out of fear of rejection. I had that a lot. Like, I just wanted to be afraid of speaking up out of fear of rejection. I had that a lot. Like, I just wanted to be liked and loved and fancied so badly that I would never really say my piece. I don't do that anymore. But I did used to do that when I was younger. Oh, she says her piece.

Oh, listen, I say my piece now. All you'll hear is my piece. Don't rush to get into a relationship and invest in your friendships. I think that's a really nice piece of advice. Yeah. Remember, you are the prize. That's good, isn't it? Often we can forget. Avoid the mummies, boys. They are just an extra. Your life should be about you. I think it's about being able to fill up your own cup, regardless of them.

Like, they just ask. Guys, Sandra Oh, Christina in Grey's Anatomy, once said one of the greatest lines of all time. She said, you're behaving like he's the son. You're the son. Good. Don't forget it. You're the son in your own life.

Everything revolves around you. You're the leading lady. You are the star of your show, of your life. Hello. Look alive. That's brilliant, girls. Thank you so much and thank God for the over 25 category.

Oh, thank God. We're all weathered and haggard altogether. We've learned a lot. We're not haggard. We're wise. We've learned our stripes. We're wise. Yeah, you over there with your haggard all the time. When I say haggard, I don't actually mean old. I just mean like, you know, we've been through the wringer a bit. As we should. And as we should.

Thank God we have. Best place to be, bit. As we should. And as we should. Thank God we have. Best place to be, yeah. All part of life's rich tapestry. Oh, we haven't had that for ages. I love that one. That's good. Because I haven't added to my tapestry in a while. Apart from all my rejection therapy.

Rejection therapy is a good part of life's rich tapestry. Snore. Okay guys, thank you so much for listening to Leave A Message. Please keep your voice notes coming in. Listen, you can even be sobbing. We don't mind. We'll take anything. Like, comment, subscribe, all the good stuff and we'll see you next week.

Love you. Bye. Bye. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer. From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game and live chat with them throughout your experience to feel like you're actually at the casino. The excitement doesn't stop there. With over 3,000 games to choose from including fan favorites like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz and more. Make deposits instantly to jump in on the fun and make same-day withdrawals if you win.

Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. You don't want to miss out! Visit betmgm.com for terms and conditions. 19 plus to wager, Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or someone close to you, please contact CONNECTS Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge.

BED-MGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario.