Leave A Message with Ally & G - 68 - For Those Days When You Just Want To Be Invisible

Episode Date: June 18, 2025

When life gets tough, the gallies are there for each other... and on this episode of Leave A Message, Ally & G are bringing some much needed calmness to the storm. We have one gally afraid that she is over-correcting having 'done the work' and healed post-break-up, now she is seeing red flags that might not even exist! Would you go back to the healing sanctuary or is the answer to just keep on keeping on? Plus what happens when you get your first girlfriend and find out that your friends are not as accepting as you thought they were? A disaster and lots of heartbreak, that's for sure. Get ready to do your trust fall... we're going deep on this episode of Leave A Message! Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details). NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener. Follow Ally & G Instagram: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠@allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Learn more at TurboTax.ca slash business tax. I come here with a question today. Have you got an item of clothing that if you lost, you would be heartbroken? Like, nonstop talking about? Oh my God, I'd have to think. Because, so Poipiot has lost his new, they're not new, sorry, his gifted Lululemon blue shorts that we once got when we got gifting. Yes. And I have this video of him. Sorry, also...

Context is, Raw's just been on his first ever stag and it was quite hardcore. Although there was no strippers apparently. Look at him. Oh, he's in a world of pain there, isn't he? He just drank a lot, but he didn't even get a lap dance. No! Not one. And I hear Tom... Do they have like, willy straws?? Like what do they do on a stag? Did they do costumes?

No. Boys are so weird. But so loads of boys do do... At least dress up. No, no, I know. At least. No dress up. No.

They played a few rounds of golf. They played golf. They went out, got pissed and that was it. And then one night I know that they got... He said they got home at four and their round started at ten. So they had to get up at nine. That would make me sick. Guys, we went for dinner on Friday night and I accidentally

got drunk. Saturday was right off. Absolutely right off. I was unwell. You were quite pissed. We were both quite pissed. I know I was pissed. That carafe. I ordered a carafe of wine. That's why I don't like wine because it really does stay with you. Wow, it stayed. It's still here right now. It was four days ago. That wine is still coursing through my veins. But boys are weird because they don't talk about anything. What would be your item?

Let me choose it for you. No, sorry. Let me just play this video. Right, sorry. Right guys, when I say last night, you know, I've been asking him to spend some time with his private thoughts. Oh my gosh, he keeps asking him to be with his private thoughts. He was cracking me up last night.

He was like two things. Number one. Also, Al means like about like life expansion and growth. And he comes back and goes, I think I'm going to join a gym. And she was like, okay, that is not the private. We've heard that 20 times. Just do it. Just do it. Get to your gym. You silly posh. So I said, what would you like to bring to the table? He said, number one, the nails

are a real issue. He hates my nails. He hates them long. Number one, he's so serious. He's on the bed like this. He's like, number one, the nails are a real issue. Number two, where are my blue shorts? Have you hit my shorts? Where are they? Text your mom. Where are they? I didn't... Text your mom! Text your own mum! Anyway, he's lying on the bed. I text my mum saying, did he leave the... Because when we went home, did he leave the... My mum's like, no, I've checked everywhere. Anyway, he's lying on the bed. I have to find this video just at the end because he's so...

He kills me. He's mental, this boy. No, no. I don't know what they were either. Did you hear that? This is going to be really sad. Oh no. Oh no. Oh, it's just shorts. But he's lying on the bed. He's saying this is going to be really sad.

Oh no, this is going to be really sad. Oh my god. Every five seconds, where are my shorts? Have you seen my blue shorts? I can't think of what mine would be. I have it with like, I have lost things and I do still think about them. Me too, and I would go out of my way to look for them. Yeah, and I still do, and I still think, where is that?

Like, where has that gone? I have this cheese grater. I know. That, I'm not joking. You're missing. No, but it is, it was in the dishwasher, and then I put it away, and then the day after, I opened the drawer and it had just disappeared. Have you found that thing yet the dongle?

No, no, it's the converter never found it. Something's going on in your house It's with the short cheese grater and the dog. Yes, the dongle. I don't have something that I would like pint Oh, maybe I do. I'd have to really think about it. Yeah, do you know what yours would be? Do you know you you always wear this when you're feeling a bit like down or sad or like tired, that kind of poncho, you know that black poncho? What? You know what I mean? Wait, is it the one that's like a bit grey? Is it got a bit of a fluff rim?

It's quite long, the black one. Yes! I feel like you'd be really lost without that blonde chair. Because I always notice it, you wear it when you're feeling a bit cosy. Oh my god, babe, you're right. Yeah, I think that would really do you dirty losing that. What would yours be? Oh, that Hera hoodie, when she lost that Hera hoodie.

Fucking hell. You left your hoodie on the plane. Zip hoodie. Oh, my mood. And we were on, she was like... That was Marrakech, wasn't it? plane. Oh, I'm in my mood. And we were on, she was like... That was Marrakech, wasn't it? Morocco. Yeah, that was Marrakech. What a trip. And she left it in the airport and she was like, wait, will they let me off?

Will they let me off the plane to get it? And I do think about it, that hair or hoodie, guys, if you don't have it, it's got a little zip. And it's very good for a slick bum because it won't ruin your hair or your face. Yeah. And now I don't have it anymore. You've just reignited my sadness. Actually, me and Raul both. That is so sad. That is so sad. it won't ruin your hair or your face. Yeah. And now I don't have it anymore. You've just reignited my sadness.

Actually, me and Robo, that is so sad. That is so sad. We all have those things that just you think, where has it gone? Where has it gone? Well, I know where mine is. Morocco, lost and found. Have you got anything that you'd be really heartbroken to lose? You really do give, minimalist.

You know that? You reckon? Yeah. Is your bedroom really tidy? Because I can believe that. Yeah. And like not cluttered. And you don't have loads of things.

I get rid of things often. Yes, I can see that for you. But I'm like a staple. You're a capsule wardrobe. You're a capsule wardrobe girl. I am a capsule wardrobe girl. You are. But you do it so well, babe.

But you know what it is? It's because I can't deal with the decision fatigue in the morning. I need to know exactly what I need to wear. I need to get out of the dark. Yeah. You're like, Holes is exactly the same. Capsule, capsule, capsule. That girl has no clothes. Where are they? And she won't, if she gets something in, she gets something out. Does she? Yes. And she really doesn't. I'll wear clothes that I wore at uni.

Me too. Like she's like, I'm 28. Absolutely not. Why would I do that? That was 10 years ago. Grow up. Do you know what I mean? I know what yours would be. That black and brown coat. That shaggy...

The pleather. Oh my god. And do you know what else it would be? That coach asked me so deeply because it makes so much noise. Do you have a pic of it? Can we add it? You all have seen it. Yeah, I said do you have a pic. I wear it all the time.

The other one is that sad fleece. And do you remember you said to me, you've got to let go of that fleece? Guys, it was £3 from a charity shop, but originally it was from Primark. Oh my God. And it's like, it's not even a beige. Like, what colour is it? It's like sand. And I love it. But I spent many depressed months in that fleece and I can't let go of it.

I'm very sentimental. She's very sentimental. My bookmark at the moment is a card from you. Is it? Yeah, yeah. She, yeah, she's like a keeper. To be honest with you, so am I actually, of things like mementos and memories and I keep like all the ticket stops, like the Brits and the Baftas, all that shit I keep.

Oh guys, hi. Thanks for listening. Welcome to Leave A Message. This is the podcast really by you. Yes. We must say. We'd be nothing without you. In many ways, guys, we'd have no living without you, to be honest.

Oh, that is a sad, sad truth because it's very scary to be relying on other people. Yeah, to keep you going. Yeah. We're trying to do a live show at the end of the year and it's all reliant be relying on other people. Yeah, to keep you going. We're trying to do a live show at the end of the year and it's all reliant on you wanting to cut. Isn't that crazy? Guys, we're really good live, just so you know. I'd say we're better live.

I would say we come alive when we're live. Reharnity. So I just want everyone to know that. Don't forget, because right now it's Tuesday morning, we're a bit tired. Friday night, you won't know us. After a couple of because right now it's Tuesday morning, we're a bit tired. Friday night. You won't know us. After a couple of mugs, you won't even recognise us.

One mug only and Al only ever drinks half of hers. Yeah, true. And then I sneak a sip. So I have a mug and a half. Yeah. By the time I've gone on, but I'm bigger. Also we don't drink on stage. No.

People do that and they get shitfaced. I couldn't. Oh my god, have you guys ever watched that Graham Norton episode? This will live around free in my life. Wait, who gets shitfaced? It's Hugh Bonneville, Hugh Jackman and one other man. And they are, guys, they are shitfaced. By the end of the episode, they are off. Because think about how long those recordings are.

I know. It's a long time to just be sipping on Savvy B. I would love to do a drug episode. Obviously not me because everything would go wrong. No, no, no. You'd have to join in. No, I couldn't. Babe, we're mental. On Friday night you should have seen us walking down this street.

Oh my god. Do you know how many people replied to that story being like you holding on to the lost Mary for dear life has sent me? On your Instagram story I was screaming. And then everyone was like clearly gifted. to the Lost Mary for Dear Life has sent me. But on your Instagram, sorry, I'm just screaming. And then everyone was like clearly gifted. I was like, guys, the whole point of me drunkly telling you all...

Was that we paid? Was that every time we go out together and I just want to give, you know, some local restaurants a bit of kudos, it looks like we've not paid for it. But we spent our own money. Yeah. And I wanted everyone to know. Oh, that's funny.

That's funny. Right, sorry. Yes, so this is Leave A Message. What will we call the galleys this week? What were we just talking about? How about Lulu for Lulu Lebed? Very good, babe. Hey, galleys.

Really hoping you could just give me a little bit of advice. So basically, back in December, my boyfriend broke up and I started to realize that the relationship wasn't as nice as I thought it was after we had broken up. He was like my face for everything, like everything. And I kind of started to realize that not one of it was consensual on my part, if that makes sense. So like, I didn't always consent if that makes sense. Anyway, not going to go into depth about that. Obviously I've been doing like lots of healing, counselling, you know, working on myself, journaling, like running again, things like that. But every time a guy kind of like comes into my life, I end up like kind of convinced

myself there's red flags there that probably aren't't there And I don't really know what to do because I don't really want to convince myself of that I know that I need to like wider my social circle Not even in the sense of like relationships just in general But every time I meet a guy I end up convinced myself these red flags that probably aren't there and I Force myself to see things in a guy that I that were in My ex if that makes sense. And I don't really like that. I don't want that to happen. And then I get in my head about it and it's a bit of a bumpy ride.

So I'm just wondering if you can give me a little bit of advice. Ali and G, you are absolute icons. I literally listen to you every single morning whilst I'm getting ready. Producer Rohana, you are also an icon and we love all three of you. Thank you so much. Oh, love you, babe. That's a lot to go through. Okay, babe, we need to just start by obviously addressing the fact that

lots of your relationship you've now realized wasn't consensual for you. And that is so hard to deal with because sometimes it's the water in which you swim. And you don't realize until you get on the other side of it and that was obviously so wrong that he treated you like that but it's amazing that you're now healing from that and healing yourself and you know your concern around red flags is actually working as a protection mechanism for you so don't beat yourself up for being hypersensitive to red flags, because that is your armor. That's what you've kind of like taken on board to not,

you know, get yourself in that situation again, where someone's taking advantage of you. You're trying to stop that from happening. And that's like amazing that you're doing that. But I feel like there could be a space you could get to where you work on more of like a traffic light system. Like those red, red flags, you allow yourself to see them and you don't ignore them and you are hypersensitive to them.

But then maybe we could have a new category that is like an orange flag. Do you know what I mean? Where it's not your ex and it's not the behavior that was incredibly toxic and left you hurt. But it's stuff that you just want to note. And like if you're doing... Keep a log. Yeah, you want to keep a log. And if you're doing like loads of journaling, then maybe you could even have little columns. And it's like in that orange column, that's where stuff goes where it's just like normal bad boy behavior, like that sometimes they're

a bit useless or they're a bit like thoughtless or it looks like the seed of behavior that may have happened with your ex but it's not the behavior. Do you know what I mean? And maybe you could start categorizing them but I really wouldn't beat yourself up for clocking those red flags and for noting them. And if for a while, whilst you're starting to date again, they need to be non-negotiables, then maybe they need to be that for a while. And that's okay, because that's just keeping you safe and making you feel comfortable to trust again and to get to know people again and open yourself up again. Like, I don't think it's a bad thing if it feels like a red flag to you

for you to like step out and step back. So what you maybe want to do is start differentiating between those real red flags and then those more orange flags that are just things to note. Just things to keep a log of, as anyone else would who hadn't been through what you'd been through. Do you know what I mean? I just wanted to say, babe, I really do resonate with a lot of this because I think like what I've learned from many years of therapy

is that those that scar will be with you forever and you can't, you know, laser it off. It is there and it happened and it's real. And she's right, you know, those things protect you. The reason that you do that and that you look for those things is only protection. But sometimes that scar takes like much longer to fully close up than you even realize. And a lot of this sounds like maybe you're just not ready. Yeah.

You know, like it took babe, it took me years. I literally, she's the first person that made it in on my circle, I'm not joking, probably for 10 years. Like, I don't trust anyone to that level. And listen, I own it and I accept it, but it's taken me all my life to get to that point where I'm like, I know I'm just hypersensitive to trust and I just can't do it and I'm it and it's but it's taken me all my life to get to that point where I'm like, I know I'm just hypersensitive to trust. Yeah. And I just can't do it. And I'm not going to beat myself up about it because at one point in my life that really served

me. Yeah. And and to keep your standards high. Absolutely. Okay. Like, I know what you mean you don't want to self sabotage and like, there will be moments where you know that you'll pick yourself up on behavior where you think okay is that is that bad behavior that's happening to me or am I self-sabotaging? Yeah it's very very slow process guys this healing and it's okay this healing thing God you could spend listen I'm not healed yet do you know what I mean I don't know that I'll ever be healed yeah also you could see it as like you, you might not dive in at the deep end. You might submerge a toe. Well, also, even if you think you're healed,

guarantee something will come along and stab that wind right open. And then you'll start back again and that's okay. That's okay. Someone will say something and you'll be like, oh my God, that's really, really affected me. Or they'll do something and you're like, whoa, I can't deal with that. That's red flag. Yes. Even if you think you've managed to move past it.

But also, baby, it does sound like it's quite fresh. Like, there's no pressure to hurry and rush and meet someone and date and la la la. Like... Go easy on yourself. Don't worry about it. Do you know what I mean? Like, yeah.

And really, really, and I've really had to do this because there was a period where it really affected me that I could not, I just could not let people in. Like I really, I really just could not. It had this like paralysis almost about like trusting anything that anyone said to me at any time. And like it was a real problem. And the more you beat yourself up, actually, the more you put so much pressure on yourself to release.

And actually, if you put the pressure, all you can do is clench, and you just can't let it go, and all you can think about is the fact that you must get rid of it, and you must just, babe, it might take three years, that's okay, soften, slowly, slowly. And when you manage to do it the first time, that's a big fucking deal. Yeah, so give yourself credit for that. Yeah. It's a slow process, babe, and no rush and look after yourself and go slowly and be kind to yourself, which is also something, by the way, I can resonate with not being very good at.

Like I can really beat myself up and be like, well, you should have done this or you should, like you should have responded in this way or that shouldn't have hurt you or why did that affect? No, no, it did affect you. That's the truth is it happened. Whatever happened, happened. You responded in this way. Let's look at that. Let's unpick that. No worries, babe, it happened.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like that's like saying, like, I don't know, I stubbed my toe. Why I'm so angry that I stubbed my toe. It happened. Beating yourself up for something that is out of your control. Absolutely. 100 percent. So I absolutely love this podcast. We can go from blue lululemon shorts to trust issues. It's brilliant.

Trust issues, my favorite topic, trust no one. That is just girlhood though, isn't it really? We really move at 100 miles an hour. Raw always says that about us. He's like two conversations behind always. We're like, ah, moved on Raw. God, we're onto red flags now. Look at Loi. Move down, Raw! God, we're onto red flags now. Lookaloy! Plus. What's better than playoff hockey? Overtime playoff hockey. Get more from the game with live overtime markets. Download FanDuel today and get more with North America's number one sportsbook.

Please play responsibly. 19 Plus and physically located in Ontario. If you have questions or concerns about your gambling or the gambling of someone close to you, please contact Connects Ontario 1866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. Whether it's a family member, friend or furry companion joining your summer road trip, enjoy the peace of mind that comes with Volvo's legendary safety. During Volvo Discover Days, enjoy limited time savings as you make plans to cruise through Muskoka or down Toronto's bustling streets. From now until June 30th, lease the 2025 Volvo XC60 from 1.74% and save up to $4,000. Conditions apply. Visit your GTA Volvo retailer or go to

VolvoCars.ca for full details. No Frills delivers. Get groceries delivered to your door from No Frills with PC Express. Shop online and get $15 in PC Optimum Points on your first five orders. Shop now Before we continue with this week's episode of Leave A Message. If you want to be part of our group chat, make sure you leave us a voice note using all the details in the episode description. Now this can be about anything. Obviously, sometimes we ask you for specific topics, but if you've got a story that you think girls need to hear this and get voice noting. Lulu number two.

Hi, Gallie. Do I have a story for you? So I did a competitive sport for about 17 years. Through that, I made my best friends like my sisters. I thought these girls were going to be my wedding. I never thought something could break our relationship apart. And I was so wrong. I ended up going away to university and had to quit this but through that I started exploring and experimenting with my sexuality and going on dates with women and so then when I came back from university got all these new experiences and matured and I came back and I found that the jokes that my friends were making weren't very nice and often quite homophobic. Fast forward

a few months, we go on a girls trip for a week and I was in a relationship with my girlfriend at this point and I just started noticing these homophobic jokes more and more and more on this trip and I am quite a quiet person and an introvert so I find it hard to step out in a room of extroverts and say look that's not cool things would be said like oh she's a lesbian so she's weird just things like that were repetitively used as humor and obviously I wouldn't find it funny and it made me feel really uncomfortable we come back from the holiday and then something gets said in the girls group chat

and it was like saying that lesbianism and stuff like that isn't right and it's not normal and it's all in people's heads like it's not a thing blah blah blah blah blah. Meanwhile I'm sat here with my girlfriend of seven months and I was like right I need I need to say something now because if I don't now I won't ever. So I just said is this about time to say that I've got a girlfriend? All hell broke loose. Let's call one of the girls Chantelle. Chantelle was sending me messages and messages and messages and messages saying how I wasn't a good friend, how I betrayed them and how if she died, she died not knowing that her best friend was in a relationship with a girl and

crazy shit like that and I was defending myself saying no but I hid it from you because of the jokes you make. You make these jokes all the time like how am I to know that you wouldn't be different with me? They didn't hear that carried on and whilst we're arguing this girl Chantelle all over her TikTok there was hundreds of reposts about me saying that I'm a horrible friend and like that one friend where you see their true colours and they're horrible and just so much shit like that painting me out to be a horrible nasty person when in reality I just hid my relationship from them because they are homophobic.

Let me know what you think. Am I in the wrong? Are you mad? You're nowhere near the wrong. You can be further away from the wrong, sister. They sound like cows. And they sound like people you definitely don't need to be friends with. Yeah. Is the bottom line.

You are nowhere in the wrong. You protected yourself. Yeah. Also, why have they misunderstood so deeply that to be something you hid from them? Do you know what, like... That makes you a bad person, like... And the fact that they don't think that their behaviour was like fucked in any way. I don't blame you for not feeling comfortable to be like, guys, that's not funny.

Because also, it's endless. Then you have to do it on everything. Like, I'll still have it now sometimes with like, I don't know, male friends I'm with, for example. Where they'll make a gag about women. And I'll be like, that is misogynistic. And I don't know how to explain that to you without being a real bore when we're trying to have dinner. And a killjoy, sorry. And a killjoy, but my God, that joke's not funny.

Or like, that's fatphobic. Or that's like, do you know what I mean? And I'm just like, I actually like, I don't have the energy actually to pick you up every time. And of course, when we're in our highest elevated selves and we're being all like... We would. We would. Of course we would. But you also have something to protect because not only were they making jokes that were like,

verbatim wrong, they were low key aimed at you, which they didn't know. And that is so uncomfortable because you don't know how they're going to respond. And they're your friends. 17 years you've been friends with them in a team. That's really difficult. But they are wrong and you're not. I think before you throw it completely away, 17 years is a long time. Yeah. There is a huge conversation here to be had where you really, but you have to find

a way to stand your ground no matter what they say, especially in a group. That can be really difficult because it's like obviously how many people against one. Imagine not apologising. Imagine your first response. And jumping to, you hid that from me. Imagine. Imagine the lack of self-awareness that you have to have. That is actually the shocking.

That is shocking. But your first response not to be like, I'm so sorry, those jokes must have been incredibly hurtful. Hurtful and difficult to hear. To be like, you hid something from me. That might come in like number five in the list of things that we need to discuss following that fallout. I reckon. Eventually, you might be like, I feel sad that you didn't feel safe to tell me.

And you'd be like, I mean, go figure. But yeah, sure, that is sad. I was sad too. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? We just touched on this really briefly. But in general, having... This does happen when you've been friends with people for a long, long, long, long time.

You grow up and sometimes you think, God, do I even know you? Do I even like you now? Like, I don't agree with anything that you say. I think your opinions are bullshit and I think that you're whatever it is, misogynistic, homophobic, all of these things. But the problem, I say this often because I've been stuck in it too. The problem with being friends with someone for that long is that you've been friends for that long. Your history.

That's kind of the only reason it's a problem, to be honest. And you know those friends you have where like all you really talk about is like memories? Memories. Like nostalgia. And your whole language is based around your- So then opinions kind of stop mattering because you never ask. You never really like touch on topics that like, you know, demand you to have a political stance or an opinion.

You just don't even talk about it. You just talk about that memory where like whatever that funny thing that happened in science class. I have a friend who is a boy and he is in a group of friends and one of the boys and two of the boys in that group have seriously, seriously problematic views on women. Will constantly and I have picked up on it and not just me by the way, many girls have picked up on it multiple times. Called them out.

Called them out. Exactly. Like called them out. And but this person, this, my friend is in a much wider group where there are lots and lots of like, it's not just him and this other, these two boys, there are like 15 of them. So my friend and these boys aren't like the closest, but there is a boy in that group

whose girlfriend has said to him, I really do question your judgment and your character evaluation on the fact that you can happily be around these people. And listen to them speak like that. And even if you're calling them up on it, it's fine, great, well done. But you're still friends. But you're still friends and you're still letting them think that they can make those

jokes and all they'll do is get like a little slap on the wrist or a jibe. And anyway, long story short, that person, that boy now actually really, really distanced himself from those two boys, obviously as he should. But it's an interesting idea of like, it's hard to do that because... Yeah, because you've been friends forever. And then like sometimes that friendship just feels like a blanket, like room for life. But this is my issue with that whole thing of friends forever is that in my opinion, that's not enough. No. You have to be getting, you have to number one, like them for life. But this is my issue with that whole thing of Friends Forever is that in my opinion, that's not enough.

No. You have to be getting, you have to number one, like them as a person today. Yeah. And number two, get something back. Yeah. Because what are you getting from them right now? Yeah. To be honest, other than the fact that you've got 17 years history, nothing.

Also, like you, you're not going to want to bring your girlfriend into that girl group. Like, you're not going to feel safe, like bringing her home to meet your like old friends. You're going to be like really on edge and like, oh my god, what are they going to say? Maybe they're going to make a joke that's really inappropriate. Maybe they're going to offend her. Like there's a lot of communication you need to have with them if you want to stay friends with them. And that communication might be hard to have because you also can't force someone to change their views. They have to do that for themselves. But then the problem is then you end up settling yourself and being comfortable with being

uncomfortable, which is also no way to live. No way. Also, sorry, people get married for 30 years and get divorced. You know what I mean? It can be done. You can rewire your whole life, but it has to be... We're not very good at the friendship breakups though. Like as a cohort.

I know. Because it's not really that normalized and it's kind of normalized to just be like, okay, well, we'll just be distant. I'll see them once a year and I'll just go and bear it for the Christmas drinks. This is what fascinates me, because with bad behavior in a relationship, that you'd be out of there. I know. You'd be out of there. Why do we let our friends get away with it? I don't know. And also, in my opinion, like, especially if you're single, they're way more influential in your life than your partner.

Actually, to be honest with you, even if you're in a relationship, I would argue... Well, they become your echo chamber. Absolutely. And you left the echo chamber and then you went back in, you were like, whoa, I don't like it here. So, yeah, it's like not letting that impact you, not letting that be your echo chamber,

because that's obviously not conducive to your growth and your life that you're now living. Also, it is really sad and you need to just deep that sadness for a hot sec because it's heartbreaking and it's so disorientating. It makes you feel like an alien for a second. You're like, wait, am I weird? What's happened to me? This is what people like that can do to you. Because they're all saying the same things.

Then you're like, sorry. Yeah. Obviously we can all agree that you're in the right. Yeah. Wow, babe. That is a lot to go through. At least you've got your girlfriend. Fabulous.

Round up? Yeah. Round up. Okay. Lili, number one. Queen, go easy on yourself. Go slowly. Great for doing the healing, great for doing the therapy. Like that's one step at a time.

And really minute steps. Yes, baby steps. Now baby steps. And if it takes longer than you think, that's okay. No one's in a rush. Let it. Lulu number two, we're so sorry that your group of friends made you feel like that, but you have outgrown them and outgrowing people is really uncomfortable. It's like a pair of jeans that don't fit anymore. It's not nice to squeeze into them. So what do we do?

We buy new jeans that we do fit in and that make us feel good. Chuck the jeans away, give them to Charity, I say. Have we got time for question of the week? No. No time for question of the week. Because we have some pretty meaty topics this week. And here on Leave A Message, we leave no stone unturned. And we will get meaty when we need to.

We leave no bone unpicked. Thank you. Very good. Someone said to us the other day, girls, you really finished each other's sentences. And we thought, thank you. Yes, we do. Yes, we do.

We've worked hard on it. Love you so much. Please keep sending your voice notes in. We really love to hear from you. And... Dilemmas and stories. You feel like this is a safe space because it really is Love you so much. Please keep sending your voice notes in. We really love to hear from you and... Dilemmas, stories. We hope you feel like this is a safe space because it really is and it can be for you. Oh, it is.

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