Leave A Message with Ally & G - 71 - Why Hot Girl Summer Breaks Are Essential

Episode Date: July 9, 2025

The gallies are unwell (literally). Ally’s burnt her back, G’s got “Chaney”, and somehow we’re still manifesting hot girl summer energy. On this episode of Leave A Message, we're talking first-date fear, post-breakup panic and the power of a good playlist. A gally wants to get back out there after a brutal betrayal, but the nerves are real – should she just cancel or push through? Plus, a listener’s been on more breaks than brunches with her ex, and we're are asking: do breaks ever actually work? Want to be a part of the group chat and featured on the pod? Send your voice note to ⁠⁠https://wa.me/message/LLWFXNK4YXMHE1⁠⁠ (and please, don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details).   NOTICE: Any advice provided in this podcast does not, and is not intended to, constitute professional advice or guidance; all information, content and materials presented are for entertainment purposes only. Any injury, damage or loss that may result from the consumption of this podcast is at the sole responsibility and risk of the listener.   Follow Ally & G Instagram: ⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠ TikTok: ⁠⁠@allyandg⁠⁠ YouTube: ⁠⁠@allyandg Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I've actually got something to bring to the table. Number one, do you ever get chakni? Yeah, I used to get very, very, very bad chakni. What? Wash and why? Do I need to start like double cleansing my chest? Let me see. And it's always always have it because...

Guys, if you've got actual track knees, that would have been offensive for her to call that track knees. I'm really sorry. What I meant to say was, do you ever get spots on your chest? I've had. I will never forget on the night of my leavers ball when I was leaving, it's like before I went to boarding school, so I was 13. Sorry, leavers ball? I thought you were like 18. No, I wasn't really a leavers board. It was like... Like a disco, babe.

Kind of, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly that. And I wore this low-cut dress and I remember... Did you have boobs? Yeah, I got my boobs at 11 and me and my sister both, we had one boob. We have so many... Both of us... You both got your right boob and the other didn't come. But like for a long time, both of us had one boob. That's crazy.

I wish I could find a picture because there are lots of pictures of us like topless in Malaysia just like running around, but we were kids. And we had one boob. And we had one boob, but it was like a small like... It's very normal to have one boob bigger than the other just so everyone knows. No, no guys. We had one. I cannot express to you how...

Is your right boob still the big one? Yeah. To this day. But I remember I had really, really bad chacne. Okay, things to do. Glycolic acid. On my chest. Oh, that stick.

The inkey-less stick. Yeah, that. Because weirdly, right guys, we're meant to go to an event this afternoon, but look at the state of me. I actually am not well. And so we're not going to go, but it always go to an event this afternoon, but look at the state of me. I actually am not well. And so we're not going to go, but it always happens before an event. I always end up getting like a spot or spots on my chest. Oh my God.

Oh, she burns herself like at the Brits. The burn. That was so bad. I always have some kind of ailment. Just before the BAFTAs. Thank God you were wearing a cape, but you fully burnt your whole back. I know. Oh, what sunburn? No, with the curler.

Oh, the curling tong. That was bad. Guys, I love GHD, but those thick crimpers are not for the short-haired girlies. No, I've just done it as well. And Albert and stuff. And yours actually, babe, I was so proud of you, because you didn't moan at all. And yours was quite, like, it was small, but mighty. It was bad. It was quite deep. Like, we love yours was quite, like it was small but mighty. It was bad. It was like quite deep. Like we love GHG and like, you know, God love them for giving us free things.

But that is dangerous. That big problem. Yeah, you've just got to focus. You've got to lock it. You've got to focus. Or you need a friend. Like you do need a kind of healthcare professional. No, I think you can do it.

If you've got long hair, you can definitely do it on your own. Do you think? But the back, the back. No, because if you have long hair, it's long enough to pull to the front. You've got to get the top. No, I don't bother with that. Crank from the ear lobe, is it? Straight to a crank.

Really, we should just do plaits. Oh my god, I forgot. Sorry. What? I fully have this for you, but you don't need to open it. A present? Well, yeah, it's not really... I wouldn't call it a present. Is it from your mum? No, it's from me. But you don't need to open it. A present? Well, it's not really, I wouldn't call it a present. Is it from your mum? No, it's from me.

But you don't need to open it now because it's long. Guys, G handed her her book in. Woo! Thanks guys. Maybe you can open the present now and read the card later. Oh my god, what is it going to be? Babe, that's so kind of you. You didn't have to do that.

Sorry, this is from the witch. I'd be jumping for joy if I didn't feel like I was going to die. This is from the witch shop that I was talking about a couple of weeks ago. I love it. Yeah, I thought so. It's because you're a Shining Star. Babe, that's really, really sweet. The only thing is, I love it.

The wind, the noise might get a little jarring after a while. I'm not annoyed. I'm not jarring. I'm soothed. Oh my God, I'm soothed. I'm healed. I'm healed. I'm soothed. Babe, I love it. Oh, I'm not jarred, I'm soothed. Oh my God, I'm soothed, I'm healed. I'm healed, I'm soothed. Babe, I love it. I'm thrilled.

I love the colors and I love it. Yay. Thanks, babe. This was actually my first draft, but I know it's the hardest. How many words did it end up being? Sorry, how many pages? 256 A4 pages. Oh, so in a book that's double.

Yeah, I don't know. Books are weird though because it's like... How long a book? Like I genuinely don't know if that's going to be a short book or a long book. When was the last time that you read an A4 book? Like it will be... Never, never, never. But I mean how many words?

Like how many words is one of your, you know, your non-fictions? The only... I don't know, I can only do it. Why am I shaking? I can only do it by hours because I always know, like whichever one was the longest. Of Lauren Roberts. Is 21 hours. And the one I'm reading now is about 12. I'd say 12 to 15 is normal.

Yeah. 250 pages is ideal amount of pages for a book. Is it? For a fictional book. Oh, well, I guess they just make the text shorter. So maybe a four page does become normal. A four page. Do you read or do you listen?

I read. Oh, I knew you would. What are you reading? Reading Chavs. Chavs? Chavs? The book on the demonization of the working class. Fucking brilliant.

Good. Is it fiction? Non-fiction. Non-fiction. It's taken me a long time to get through. I'm reading this amazing listing, reading with my ears, to this amazing book about our five senses and basically how like we have way more than five and we're like also binary about how we have five senses, but just about like some animals

can see, you know, when you put like polarized glasses on, some animals can see like that. We actually have really small color spectrum. So what we can see is really like nothing in comparison. We can, there are like sounds in the world guys that we just can't even hear cause we're not tuned in. Like right now there could be like a screeching noise. We human ears just can't pick up that frequency. It's fascinating. Yeah, I'm glad for that. But that's why the dogs are so good to have, like in your home.

Because they can hear things that you can't hear. Also, oh my God, I was watching this video. I found this woman on TikTok. She trains these service dogs. It is fascinating. So this dog is trained. Her daughter has like, if she eats a trace of a peanut, she will die.

So the dog is trained to smell traces. So like all these videos are of her, like giving the dog something where like there's, she's rubbed the peanut on the outside of the package and the dog will alert for it. So every single thing in their house, she'll give to the dog to smell. If it's clear, the dog looks her in the eye. If it's not okay, she'll heel, the dog will tap her on the leg.

It's fascinating. God, that is a lot of pressure for one dog. Also, my mum knows this woman whose dog smelled her cancer. She was like, every time my dog went near my boob, it would just like bark like fucking crazy. She went to the doctor, she had breast cancer. Yes. That is wild. They are precious, precious animals. And that's what Pete Wicks' whole documentary is about. Has anyone seen that? No, I haven't. But I listened to him on, he loves them. I did not know that. He's got like, he might be part dog. He's got like an affiliation

that is like deeper than just loving dogs. Like he loves dogs. Do you know why he said, he said they're the only people that love you unconditionally? On Paul Brunson, can I just say it was a depressing listen? Often Paul Brunson is. I know. God bless, but they do open up to that man like no one else. It's his eyes. Like he really is able to pull. It's a hypnotic trance. It really is. And we have been under the spell. I've never been the same since I met that man all those years ago. All those months ago.

No, because remember I first met him. Oh yeah. And you were away. Where the hell were you? I was in St. Mark, that was two years ago. Two years ago, we were babies, we just started doing things. And we got invited to a Married at First Sight event. No, Celebs Go Dating, because Chloe Burrows is there. Because bloody Vanessa Phelps was there.

Yeah. Because I used to work for Vanessa Phelps and I thought, shall I tell her and I decided not to, sorry, alright, Celebs Go Dating. And he, the man himself, the Messiah, came up to me and said, what did you think of the episode? What did you think of the series? And I was like, honestly, Flammox, I was like, why the hell would you ask me? No, but you said something really good. I did. I said, I think...

We need a debrief. I think, I said, I think we need more BTS of the whole thing because we don't see enough of the people they're dating. We don't see enough of them outside of the like fixed dates. And he was like, well, we brought in the brunch. The brunch is in and then they brought in the brunch and he was telling me about it. And he looked me in the eye the whole time and I left. I was, I remember I rang out.

I was walking down Oxford street and I said, he's changed my life. I have to agree. And now changed my soul. And I love him. And now you've looked him in the soul. I just have to say, I just think, do you know what I think is amazing about Paul Brunson? If I was really to deep it is that he knows everything. He's an expert. He's got all the answers and every time he'll ask you, what do you think? And I think that is so cool.

As if he gives a shit. And I think he might. No, no, I think he really genuinely does give a shit. And I... Collecting data. Yes. And I don't think it's PR. I genuinely think he's like...

Yeah, he reads people and he loves it. And I think... I don't know, you know, doing what we do and meeting who we meet. There are a lot of people who just don't even give you the time of day. And... They don't care. They don't give a shit what you think or what you do. And actually, we've got many things to say.

Not all of them good, but we will say them nonetheless. And some things we know more than Paul. I agree. If you want to make a TikTok, Paul, you know, come talk to us. And also, if you want to watch celebs go dating having not worked on it, you come to us. You don't know the wood from the trees, Paul. And he knows that Sorry I want so many painkillers I've literally taken so many drugs

Are we calling um the galleys Paul or Vanessa today? Oh shall we yeah oh sorry welcome to leave a message we do this for you but we are also crowd funded and kept alive by you. Not literally. No one's paying us money, but you are sending us voice notes and that's our currency. Precisely. Sorry is what I mean. And we can't do this without you. We love getting your voice notes. I just want to say we've had some very vulnerable voice notes the last couple of weeks. And I really just want to say.

Thank you. Yeah, because it takes a lot of courage to do that. And we don't take that for granted. And that's it really. Really good, babe. Also, please like and subscribe. Hiya. So my dilemma is basically long story short,

just got out of a three and a half year relationship with a guy I genuinely thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with. We have a child together. He ended up cheating on me and leaving me for many, many other girls. I now don't know how to go on a date. We've been broken up in two months now and I'm not looking for anything serious but I would like to get back dating again and seeing where things could go and even if it's just fun then I'm okay with that but I don't actually know how to follow through

with going on a date. I can talk to people for days on end, weeks on end and really like them, really vibe with them and then it literally will get to the day that we have a date planned or they will talk about meeting up and I panic and I run away. And I just don't know how you get yourself into that date without having a full blown panic attack on the way. I'm quite protective of my situation, my daughter, and I don't really trust men now because of all the lies. So I just don't know how to do it and how to get there

and how to be confident and not sharp, shaking like a leaf. But also if I got there and didn't vibe with the person, didn't like the person, how do you get out of that? If half an hour in I'm like, this is not going to work, I don't like you, how do you get out of that situation? Meeting someone new is scary. And I just feel like men expect it always to lead to sex at the end of the day.

And if I like someone, I don't actually have an issue with that. But it's the ones that I want to be like, oh, no, not for me. Thanks. I'm going to go home. I just feel like there's an an expectation there and I wouldn't and I just the thought scares me that I wouldn't be able to get out of it. So how do I go on a date while being like cool, calm and collected and confident and coming across as myself not a shit scared version of myself? I'd really appreciate some advice on this because I think

I'm probably being quite pathetic. Thanks so much. Babe, I don't think you're pathetic. I think you're far from pathetic. You are in good company, babe. Guys, Al dropped me at a date the other day. How nervous was I? No, guys. Like, I am not myself. Like, I... I think that's really the most normal thing in the whole world.

100%. I don't know that I will ever get to the point where meeting a new person in that setting is not nerve-wrackingly hellish. You know what I mean? Like I think I'll be dropping her off a couple more times. I'm not worried about it. I literally, this was a guy that Al had set me up with. So I even knew that like he was fine. And like I knew like, for example, I didn't have that kind of like fear of like, how do you end the night if you need to, la, la, la? Because I get that that is a thing. But I was still nervous.

I was red, I was flustered. I was hot. If you actually deep the psychology of it, what is nerve wracking about it? Because you don't get nervous to meet new people. It's getting nervous. It's basically about the circumstance of having to put a version of yourself forward and for someone to like like it quite quickly.

And the pressure of like romance on top of that. Yeah, it's about impressing them isn't it? It is, yeah. And it's like, also it's really hard not to have expectations. Because like I still think like even in this like modern day of like, you know, sisters are doing it for themselves. I still think we're like really covered in like love songs and rom-coms and like love at first sight. And it's really hard to take all of that expectation away and be like, I'm just meeting another human being.

It's really hard to actually like feel that in your body. It's like your fight. It can't. I can imagine that it's the same to like what it feels like to go to like a job interview. Like it's exactly the same. You know all those reels that are like, why doesn't my body know the difference between like getting hunted in like the Serengesis and like sitting opposite a new guy from Edge.

Like my body's like, oh my God, danger, danger, danger. Because it's really like, it is scary and I think it's okay to be nervous. I find that normally once you're sat and you've like done the awkward hellos, and you're into conversation, that fear does go away. And I think the more dates you go on, the more you realize that that happens once you get there. So then you feel a bit safe that you're like, okay, there's like two, three hurdles to get through. And then I'm fine. Also, Hol said something really good.

She was like, don't forget, you have to like them. That's the way round it works. It's not like you're like, you know, going to get picked up and dropped. You have the power basically. Like, you have to be, we do this a lot at work, the two of us, in terms of like, and I was talking to Jack about this the other day, as soon as you let something get bigger than you, you can't rise to the occasion, but you have to be bigger than it or bigger than them or bigger than whatever it is. You are because you are.

They would be lucky. They would be lucky to date you again. And that's for you to decide. So like, but you have to really like tap into that, I think, because it's just easy to slip into be like, what if they don't like me and like, no, no, no, no, no. Now you're coming across. What if, what if you don't like them? And like, no, no, no, no. Now you're coming across. What if you don't like them? It's what you should be main concerned about.

Yeah. Yes. Flip the switch, sis. Please, sis. Because otherwise, yeah, you're just going to be sweating as if you're in an interrogation and you're not. Like, it's not a job interview.

It's not a job you've applied for and you really want. It's just a guy that you like half liked the look of. And you're deciding whether you like it. Like 100%. And also, I really, the leaving thing, I really wouldn't deep it. Like, even if it's up to him, if he expects sex, that's on him. Like, it's not on you to give it to him. You just go, thanks for a lovely evening and you walk away. That is all you have to do.

Like literally, that's all you have to do. In that moment, you don't have to say thanks, but I really don't think you're my cup of tea. Send that in a text after. You just need to leave. You just need to say thank you for a lovely evening. Also, you've got a daughter. What a great get out of jail free card. Working babysitter, time's up.

See you later. Got to go. Rushed off my fee. I am. I paid for two hours and I shan't be paying for three. Yes. I think also I just actually wanted to say as obviously, I don't have a child, but I was a child with a mom that was dating.

Guys, sorry babe. Guys, babe, everybody listening? It's a different, like you're coming at it so differently with different expectations and a much, much higher bar that they need to hit. Yeah, because you're thinking about not only yourself, but your daughter. And like, I think there is actually great power in that because the right person, obviously, will... It's not even a conversation.

And like, it took my mum years. And I really do mean years today, because I remember when I was quite young, I was like seven. My mum didn't start dating, I would say five or six years later. And I remember the three of us used to be like, oh, like she used to joke like, oh yeah, I'll probably just never get married again. And then my stepdad came along,

but like it just takes a much longer time and like you were put up with less and you will accept less shit because of your daughter and absolutely as you should. But like, I also think that's okay. And like, there's no rush. It's just you're coming at it so differently. And I think you should...

Especially with the trust thing. Yeah. And like, but like, what I'm trying to say is lean into that. It's, that's okay. Like, that is the reality of your life. That's really... Your circumstances are different to other people coming out of a three and a half year relationship.

Do you know what I mean? And that is fine. And it's fine to not trust the first person you meet. And it's fine to be picky. And it's fine to not trust the first person you meet and it's fine to be picky and it's fine to also it's fine to like arrange a date and then think I can't do it. Yeah. And then try again next time. Like that is okay. Cause like it's, it's really hardcore and I'm like out here, like really nothing to lose. Do you know what I mean? Exactly. No one else to think about. Yeah. And it's still hard and nerve wracking. I still have to get out to Yeah. And it's still hard and nerve-racking.

I still have to get out to hold my hand and tape you that. Do you know what I mean? One thing I will say, a really good playlist. You need good music. Oh yeah. I don't even listen to podcasts. I listen to just like good music. It needs to be like empowering.

Yes. Like I actually have a playlist of the same kind of songs. You got to be a work. Pretty girls work like this, this, this. And you're just like... What is another good one? Oh, Work by Kelly Rowland. I wanna see you work.

Da, da, da. Do you know, mama didn't raise no bitch. Mama didn't, mama didn't. So all of that good stuff. I would get all of that playing really loudly. Pick an outfit. I watched an Instagram reel about this the other day about how like these girls that are dating a lot have like a summer day outfit, a winter day outfit and they don't stray from it unless they're feeling like particularly crazy. Because I don't know if you get that but if you like put obstacles between you and getting to the date,

those obstacles will stop you getting there. So like know the jeans, know the knickers, know the top, know the shoes, leave the house. Because you know that that's what you wear to a date and you know even when your head goes, I look like la-la-la-la-la, you know you don't because you've picked that outfit in a good head space and you know you look good in that outfit, you know you can go on a date. You're comfy, you're sexy, and you're giving your best self so that then you feel like you've got the power self so that then you feel like you've got the power to be like, do I like you? It's the real question here, sir.

Then you start panicking about outfits on the second date. No, no, no. Then that's when it all goes downhill. Day five, don't talk to me about it. That's actually when it gets serious. Listen, if I was single, I think that that would be my main... I think, listen, don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I would walk a first date. I'm just saying I think the the barriers are, the main barriers are

like... Actually letting someone in? No, yeah, for the first, no, for the first date it's like panic, but the fifth, sixth date I'm like, oh, if you actually like them, fuck that. Killer vanilla, I haven't had that in years, wouldn't know. Like actually the thought of like, you know, letting someone see any side of you that it's not what everyone gets to see is way too much. Way too much.

Guys, my ex texted me the other day. How crazy? Did you reply? Colin. Yeah, I replied. Did you? Yeah, because I just thought it was jokes. Why? It's funny. Is it?

Uh, yeah, because he wasn't like trying to talk to me about anything. Because he sent me a podcast. No, no. What did he listen to it? Yeah, it he wasn't like trying to talk to me about anything. Because he sent me a podcast. I'm sorry. No, no. What did he listen to it? Yeah, it's wild. Was it basically saying girls are having too much casual sex? It was a debate.

And I was obviously on the side of like casual sex it up. But like basically there's this whole like new wave of feminism, which is called maternal feminism, which is basically about finding like a halfway house between the second wave of feminism, which was basically like really like scrutinize women that didn't go and like get that job and did rely on them for income because it was like your sister's fought for you and you've got a bank account, you should be out there and get your kids in childcare and all of that like second wave feminism was quite hardcore. And like finding a kind of bridge between the two so that we don't end up with this like

Manosphere, Trad Wife, like basically like that was the conversation. It was really interesting podcast. I recommend it. It was Stephen Bartlett, which I don't often listen to, but alas he got the girls in and I appreciated him for that. I found it a bit of a one-sided argument. He had two people on one side of the fence.

What they were arguing, yeah, we should have a bridge. Yeah, so the maternal feminists are like, power to the children, power to the mothers, power to the wait until you're engaged to have sex. Engaged? Boo, boo. Deborah Francis White, the OG, you know, woman of the night, a brilliant woman, was on the other side of the fence kind of fighting for like choice and you know, being like an independent woman. They had some really good points.

It was a really good debate. Don't get me wrong. Anyway, he sent me that podcast and I was like, random. And I just said, random, I've listened, prob's not good for us to get into a debate about maternal feminism. Hope you're well. Because I'm like, what do you want me to send? That's all right, but for him to send that, even if he's...

Because we're pretty sure he's got a girlfriend as well, so I've hijacked your voice and talked about myself. So I was... No, but sorry. Imagine if you and Roy had broken up. Wait, if you're with Roy, two years in, one year in, two years, they got together straight away from my research. And he's texting his ex.

About maternal feminism. What a life. You'd be like... That is wild. He's having a seizure. You'd be like, that is wild. That is wild. He's having a seizure. That's why women don't trust men. The White Chocolate Macadamia Cream Cold Brew from Starbucks is made just the way you like it.

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I'm a big fan of the pod. And when I saw in your story that it was about taking a break, I knew that I had to send a message in because I was the queen of taking a break. My first ever boyfriend when I was 17, we were in the same friend group and things were really great. We didn't really have any issues or any arguments. And then one time, six months in at a party, he got really drunk and broke up with me

in front of all my friends. And he was going on holiday the next day. And I was really distraught and really upset about this situation and thought that that was the end but then a couple days later he bought Wi-Fi on the plane to America and sent me this long paragraph how he was so regretful and felt so awful so I decided okay maybe we'll get back together and this was a short break we took and things kind of were looking good. And I really wanted to get back together.

And then when we ended getting back together, he bought me a huge basket of gifts. And he was really kind. And the summer was so great because we were just hanging out and we didn't really have any issues. But then as soon as we went back to school, we went into our final year of sixth form, things just took a turn for the worse again. The issues that we had just came right back up. And I was worried and we ended up taking another break. And this was pretty much a full breakup for about two months. And then he came back round and did the same thing saying that he missed me and that he loved me and that

he should never have broken up with me. Then I decided to get back together which was really stupid but the same issues just kept recurring. He ended up lying to me about a lot of things and every time we would have an argument I'd be worried about breaking up and I would never fully trust how secure our relationship was. So this ended up a pretty difficult situation and I would say taking a break does not work. You shouldn't have to take space from the person you love and if you do then they're not the right person because the issues were just fundamental and would keep coming back up. So, galleys, I would say taking

a break is not a good idea. But what do you guys think? Wow, I lost count of how many times they broke up and got back together. I got three, but maybe it was four. That is how it tends to go though. Like, you know those couples that- I was going to say, I know you, I know him, I know this situation. Yeah. Like the back of my hand, I know this. I actually have, I've got like three examples of people close to me where this has happened

and only one of them has ended in marriage and kids and they are still together now. Sorry guys if you're listening, you know who you are. They were together from a really young age. I think they might have been like 16 when they got together and took a break over uni. Kind of like not because necessarily, maybe this is the difference, not because something was necessarily wrong. Because it was uni. Because I think it's like, what are we to do?

Like, are we going to try and like, you know, like not everyone can be Ali Mack and make that happen. Do you know what I mean? That's phenomenal. Yeah. But like distance and new experiences and all of that stuff. Like, I think they just thought it's probably best that we do take a break. And I think they had a good like four or five years not together. But it was a break. Like it was designed to heal. And then, yeah, lo and behold, now they've got three kids.

I'm sorry, that is amazing. It's amazing. And I don't know that that... That they manage to still choose each other after all that time. And also, like, even, you know, like, there's a lot that goes on at uni. Yeah. That isn't always easy to relive with your partner. I think that's... I've got friends that are going kind of through this now, where I think we're at an age where you get to a bit of a kind of like stickle twist.

Yeah. And I think when you've got fundamental issues that don't feel like they allow you to say stick, but also there's so much about that person you love, you've got such a shared history together when you've been together for so long, it's like, oh, can I like momentary twist? Yeah. Can I do like a sabbatical twist? Well, this is what I think.

I think I agree. I think that really if they are the right person, a break, why are you taking a break? Because I think a break seems like an easier option than breaking up. Yeah. Is it just like a little... Like, let me just double check what I'm feeling, but you can do that. It's like a gateway drug to the breakup. Kind of.

But I think that it it actually really confuses things and like it's also a lot of the time procrastination. Also if it's like a break, like breaks need like rules. Oh, are we shagging other people? No, I mean. I think most people go on breaks because they feel like they've got more to explore sexually. Or they're just too afraid to actually have to break up.

Or that. And I think both are bad options. Both are bad. And also, I think you might be right, babe. Like, I do think that boys do grow into men. I really believe that. So I understand that maybe you could have met someone that like, you know, or you hope that once they have that evolution, they'll be great for you. But...

Or you can't hold your breath. You can't hold your breath. And I think some of those fundamental issues, like if you've had the urge to break, then you're probably thinking, break up. Not break. Or stick and work it out. Stick in the mud. Yeah.

Because that's the alternative. It's not stick and live with the shit. It's stick with it and work through it. Because I just think that that's a hard option and breaking up is a hard option and a break is like halfway in between because you can be like, oh, if this doesn't change, then we won't go back together. But it does make things confusing. It's like, can we text? Yeah. What if someone falls in love?

Also, I wanted to say sorry, just actually this is linking to the point about dating from what sounds like happened. He came back and was like, I'm really sorry. And you felt like he was, he was picking you up again. But you get to pick him. Don't forget. Good point sister. If he comes back and you're like, no, you're still a piece of shit and you're still lazy and you're still whatever it is. No, I don't pick you. No, you get to pick. It's not because he wants you back is what I'm trying to say. I just think that's really... I've done it many, many, many times. Oh my God, he wants me back. Oh my God.

Do what? That's enough. Fuck that. Fuck that. Can I add something? Yes. I've got a friend who's avoidant. This is me reading my attachment book.

And her partner is secure. And he's younger than her. And we were like, oh, like he's younger, but he's actually very secure. It was like, you've got some things that you need to sort out. And I think he said that in isolation to me. Wow. And only a couple of weeks. Mr. mature.

Yeah. She really thought through them and she's a very like thoughtful person. So like she really had time to yeah,ed it, yeah. Yeah, by herself. And then they got back together. And I think the only reason why I believe in breaks because of that experience with her. I think that's... That's very, very specific circumstance. I think you're right.

It's specific. And because I guess the things... I guess the things that were wrong with their relationship were really, I'm guessing, quite specific to her. And so therefore she knew what needed to change before they could be back together. And like that is in itself quite powerful. Did you guys read, did you ever read the Modern Love article

in the column on the New York Times? And there was this one where they had a similar thing. It was like times in their life where, and I probably like, I genuinely think me and my ex had this a bit. Like I think the stages that we were at in life and the things that we were prioritizing were not conducive to us being together. And that created the majority of our problems.

And they basically did this thing where they were like, we're going to go on a break and we're going to set a time and a day in five years time. And if we both are still single and we want to be together, we just need to show up. And they did it. And five years had gone, they'd been in other relationships, they'd been out of relationships, they'd worked on themselves, they'd thought about like really what they wanted

and who they wanted their partner to be. And they both turned up at the sodding steps in New York Square or whatever. How amazing. And then they did get back together. Look, I do just think like I do, I'm with Rihanna a bit, and like, sometimes I really think it might be right person, wrong time. A hundred percent. And I think it's just this break situation that this voice note had is a tiny bit different

because it felt like he just threw his toys out of the pot. Well, it just feels like he's not the right person. That's the difference. And like, it was him deciding. He was in the driver's seat. And I feel like you both have to be a bit like on the same page at least so that no one gets hurt. Because also when you get into grey muddy water. It's also different if you're taking a break because of fundamental issues like in your relationship. Like he dumps you in front of all your friends.

Do you know what I mean? That's different to taking a break because of circumstance going to two different unis. Like there's such different reasons. Like a job, like taking you abroad. All the like desire that I think is really hard when you meet young and you do have that kind of itch. 100%. I think that's quite tricky.

I mean, I've itched my itch. I'm totally itching. Listen, I think you have to choose every... I mean, it's the same as always. Like, it's the same with anyone, but I agree. When you pick someone young, you have to consciously choose to commit to that person over and over and... Water your own grass.

Yeah, pretty much. Yeah. Let me look at your neighbor's grass. So then your grass is going to get dry. Do you know what I mean? Do you want to do a roundup? Okay. Pool number one. Sis, go easy on yourself.

Yeah, well done. Fucking single mom on the dating scene. You're brilliant. You are brilliant. You really are brilliant. And like let them see. Let them see how brilliant you are and you decide whether they're brilliant enough to be with you.

And don't be nervous. Well, do be nervous because it is nerve wracking, but just play your music and know it's normal. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous.

It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be nervous. It's not like you're going to be brilliant enough to be with you. And don't be nervous. Well, do be nervous because it is nerve-racking, but just play your music and know it's normal. It's normal to feel like you're on the edge of an absolute panic attack. That's fine. Also, I think you're basically might find it takes you a bit longer than your other single friends to even find someone that gets through the first filter. Yeah.

And that's okay. That's really normal. And how good are those filters to have? Because you're protecting or owning yourself, but you're like little girl. That's brilliant. Yeah. She's a blessing. Yeah.

She's giving you those high standards. Yeah. Phenomenal. Pool number two. Oh, babe. Come on, the fence is not operating. I think the theme of this is that you get to pick them. Don't forget.

I just need everyone to remember you have the power. We give so much power away to these people. You got the power. You got the power. You got the power. Sorry. But seriously, that was a very good point. You really do. Whether you go, whether you don't, whether you stay, whether you leave, like you always advocate for yourself and say what you want and don't, like when you're,

when you were saying like, breaks my heart to think, because I know that when you're younger, it's really easy to change your actions based on what you think is going to happen. Like, I'm going to act out of line and then they're going to break up with me. Act out of line. If that feels like right to you. If he's going to break up with you because you act out of line and then they're going to break up with me. Act out of line if that feels like right for you. If he's going to break up with you because you act out of line, he's not your one. Let him go. But if you're going to set standards for him and he's like, break up, bye then, loser. I've got bigger fish to fry than you not meeting my very obtainable standards.

Yeah, agree. Thank you. Question of the week. I've got a nicer voice than me today, so let's hear it. I'll do it. Don't worry about it guys. I'll sit back and relax, I think, actually. So the question was, have you ever been on a break in your relationship and was it successful? It's never successful.

Break is a soft launch to a breakup, which is, I agree. You said that. Brea Hudson X, I agree. Get it Brea. Made us realize friendship is more important with some sex on the side. Whoa, what's this delicious destination they found? Maybe they were friends? Started shagging.

Took a break. And then realized they actually just were friends. Got it. Oh, this is good. Babe, this is going to give you some hope. Yep. Took a two month break and came back stronger than ever for it. Wow. Two months is a nice amount of time, isn't it?

I could have a break off of anything for two months. Break from you. I get a break from our two weeks in Jan. That's my break. Two weeks in Jan, week in August. Oh, a week doesn't count. I'm on the plane by the time I started missing you. Don't worry about it. Christmas is long stood.

No, Christmas is hard. I actually know you're right. We're FaceTiming each other Christmas morning. What you doing? What did you get? And I've got to wait so long because Al's family just sleep in. I'm like really? Chasing me in the morning. What did you get? What did you get?

Morning! Far because we've been saving the pictures. Like such a loser. And then Al's just like wakes up at midday like, hi sis. Then she's like on the stairs. I'm like brilliant. No guys, the other day, my fucking WhatsApp. This happens sometimes.

Oh my God. I could have literally flown home and come to your house. I mean like why not take me back? She sent me because someone replied to her. I couldn't have a two month break from you, actually. I've just realized. Two month is codependent as hell. That was crazy.

Someone texts her back that we've been waiting on 10 to hooks. 10 to hooks we've been waiting. And she sent me the screenshot and I didn't get it. And it was like literally 37 minutes. Also, I asked you like five other things as well. Just like, I even like sent the message, she's not replying. That's weird. I was like, I'll ask her something else about something else. Maybe she's just not bothered.

And then the message was, sorry, why do you not reply to this? I was like SOS, panic stations, wake up. She was ignoring me. So that was a two minute break and that was too much for us. It just delayed the inevitable. It just solidified that we needed to break up. Some good success stories for here. Found each other again when we were both better versions of ourselves and never looked back.

My partner and I have had more than one and now we're getting engaged and getting married. More than one break. Oh my god guys, maybe it genuinely needs to be like a kind of like yearly review. Like a kind of contract negotiation. One girl. When my love. Not successful. Will DM.

Okay, sis. What the hell is this, sister? Let's have a look. There are two of them. Someone sent a note. We broke up in the summer and we're going to treat it like a break and come back to it in the new year. His words.

Turns out he was cheating the whole time with a significantly younger girl. I hate it when they're younger. Safe to say it wasn't successful and he was blocked within days of the break. Safe to say it was bad. That's it really. Why is them being younger so painful? That hurts me deeply. Because it's like I'm like past it. Yeah.

Is what you feel. It's like you are the patriarchy. I said to Ruel the other day what will happen when I've got like saggy tits and stuff and he was like I'll have saggy balls so it's okay. Oh what a lovely thing to say. That is lovely. And a flat arse, he'll have a flat arse. Men always get flat arses.

He'll have no hair and all. It'll be fine. Oh, he'll recede. And I'll have a face full of botox. I'm not worried. He's not worried. She's not worried. Oh my God, is that it?

That's it. Well, we must now share some news with you all. The news is, I'm having a it. Well, we must now share some news with you all. The news is I'm having a baby! No, I'm not. Guys, can I just tell a quick anecdote? I've got time. Pei, Pei Panket is no, no, no, no. But she went to a friend's house at the weekend.

So one of her friends had sent a cookie for Faye to Jess's house, being like 50k, congratulations. And she must have thought, oh, I'm sending one to Jess's house, I should send one to Jess. Jess is having a baby, incredible. They're going to be the best parents ever and it's so exciting. But on that one, it said like, baby pending, like baby 2020, or like baby Libra pending or something like that, whatever.

And that was on top. And Jess brought the cookies in and was like, -"Oh, Faye, something's been sent for you." -"Gave her the wrong one." Opened it, said Baby Pending. Everyone in the room thought that Faye was announcing her pregnancy. Everyone was like, what? Apparently, George turned white. Like, thought she was also telling him for the first time

that she was pregnant. Because it was meant to be for her. So everyone was like, oh my God. What? They were like, they were gassed. She was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then open the other one was like 50K, because she'd got 50K Instagram followers and was like, oh, thank God, that one's for Jess. This one's for me.

Wow. Imagine. Anyway, I was not announcing her pregnancy. Oh, I'm not announcing my pregnancy. Sorry. Not sorry, actually. Right, guys. Serious news now. I'm not dancing high-five in the zoom. Oh, I'm not answering my pregnancy. Sorry. Not sorry, actually. Right, guys.

Serious news now. We know that we are your weekly, you know, therapy, escape, laughter, I don't know, slice of joy in this bleak, bleak world that's falling apart and is on fire. And we take that job very, very seriously. And I don't want you to think that we don't. But it's Hot Girl Summer. And the girls at Leave A Message, Rihanna included, are taking a Hot Girl Summer, as you will and as you should.

So... We've got... Listen. We're having a summer off, basically, shall I tell you? We've got bodies to tan, we've got dancing to do, we've got breaks to break. And don't worry, because this break is one with rules that... The rule is we will return in the autumn. Yes, so just re-listen to old apps.

There are 72 of them now, so I think enough to get you through a couple of months. Oh, and the vlog, we'll keep vlogging, just so you know. The vlog, we'll keep vlogging. Every week on YouTube. TikTok, we'll TikTok. So follow us there if you don't already. Go and find Rihanna. She's private, but you know, bombard her.

See what she's up to. She's public. Guys, public. Say a hundred. Oh my God. Rihanna, Rihanna, Rihanna. Imagine you, Rihanna, just like, she'll just do like a Wednesday first trap for you just to replace your leave a message blues.

And also, if you don't follow us on Instagram, please do because that's where we will announce when the pod's coming back. So make sure, make sure. Just make sure you're across it. And also make sure the leave a message phone never gets turned off. So you know, keep your voice loads coming. We need your hot girl stories.

Your Hot Girl Summer stories. Everyone go and have the hottest Hot Girl Summer. Just really do. Guys, I saw this TikTok today of Vicky Pattinson. She was like crying when she was saying it. And she was literally like, do you know that people at your funeral are not going to say, oh my God, how good did she look in her bikini?

Oh my God, how flat was her stomach? Oh my God, those clothes she always wore. No, they're going to be like, do you remember that time when she jumped shit-faced off a yacht into the... A yacht was a bit out of reach. I'm not going to be on a yacht. But you know what I mean? They're going to remember the time that you fell over at Glastonbury and you pissed yourself laughing or the time that you snogged that boy that you shouldn't have done and then it was so stupid and reckless. I just think,

get out there and live. Good. No, no, I've been feeling the same way recently. Good. Because I just feel like, do you know, we're all going to die one day. Life's too fucking short. And you get to do it once. So you better make sure it's good. And you better not be in your head up here about any of the nonsense. You better just be living.

Yeah. So don't miss us. Live for us. Good, babe! That's brilliant! If you see us out and about, you know, off our heads at all, there's some that know you didn't. But if you see us sober on the tube, everyone ignores that on the tube. So she's not scaring me.

Guys, I know my face when I'm... She looks it, but she's so good. When I haven't bothered to do anything, you know, to smile, I can look like I'm going to kill you, but I won't. She doesn't mean it. She just hasn't slapped. She's fine. She said, good girl, OK? Say hello. And say hello to me. Oh, sadly for you, they always do. Because she looks so friendly.

Come like this. Hi guys. I'm probably saying hello to you. Hi. You like a galley? Okay, guys. Thank you so much. Have the fucking best summer ever. We will see you. We will see you. We will see you when we see you. All right. It's when I need to know basics. So stay up to date. Love you so much.

Bye. Love you. Bye now. Love you. Look after you. Have fun. Wear condoms. SPF. SPF. Oh, great. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink with awareness. Drink with awareness. Wear a condom. Take lemcic with awareness. Wear a condom. Take Lemsip with awareness.

And that's it. Really love you so much. Love you so much. Bye now. Thanks for watching!