Leave A Message with Ally & G - Ally’s HUGE Wedding Update!! & He Put Me In A HEADLOCK?!

Episode Date: September 9, 2026

Has Ally FINALLY found her wedding venue?! 💍🇮🇹It’s BIG wedding news at LAM HQ as Ally is fresh off a tour of Italy in search of the perfect (non-grassed) wedding venue, and she’s here to give us the FULL debrief. Meanwhile, G’s love life is looking slightly less romantic as she reveals the VERY expensive aftermath of her first date… aka a load of parking tickets. 🚗💸PLUS, one Gally needs advice after her date put her in a HEADLOCK?! Whilst another is caught in the middle of a brewing friendship feud with her bestie and doesn’t know where to turn.FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Gally's Leave a Message will be here in just a moment with all the juicy chat. You can watch every episode on YouTube too. See Ali and Gee's reaction when you spill all the tea with your dilemmas and get a visual replay of that episode when Ali got her wieness out. Next time you're on the sofa wondering what to watch next, search for Leave a Message on YouTube and get all the episodes on your TV. You've reached Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G.

This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you found your fiancé mid-shag with your dad or you physically cannot attend one event without your boyfriend. This is the podcast for you. Ali Mac is fresh back from her Wedmin trip to Italy. And let me tell you, oh my God, Wedmin... There was no sleep. Bus, club.

Another club. Another club. Literally. Guys, it was so funny because Rue and I shared a suitcase, as you should for one weekend. Obviously that, you know, was sending me into some kind of existential crisis. This girl. She needs 25 kilograms for a three nights day. Well, it was 25 kilograms.

It was. And Ruh and I had three quarters of, he had one little square. All Rour. No. Anyway, when we were packing, he goes, I don't know what you're packing all those nice clothes for. This is not a holiday. And he wasn't wrong. And he wasn't wrong.

Fucking hell, I was at work. I was up earlier than I would be up at home. Yeah. So we flew Thursday night. We had Friday Saturday. When I said, okay, on Friday when you saw two, but they were quite like a drive. We had to be there at 9.30. So we had to leave at like 8.30, which means we got up at like seven.

Which actually is like six in England, isn't it? Aren't you ahead? Yeah. See what I'm saying. Shagged. Anyway, then it's really weird when you go because you, To be honest, you have got to have an vast imagination because they are genuinely just blank spaces. You have to like render in your mind.

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, the things that I really care about are a late, like, no curfew. We need to party till the sun comes up. Yeah. I need, I can't, I just, I don't know why I have this physical aversion to getting married on grass. Like, I just despise grass. I don't know what it is

but I would say 80% of the venues that we looked at all the ceremonies are on grass or they're like in between the olive trees which is just so not me like rustic vibes I thought you liked the olive tree one no that because that has hard flooring

but so olive tree hard flooring fine olive grass bad but like in an olive grove you know like it's like a dusty olive grove that's where all the ceremonies you like that I don't like that I don't like that

I don't like that right so the first two what did we even see on the first day Oh, the first two. Actually, to be fair, the first one was really nice. The ceremony was on grass, which was a sticking point for me. What is it? Your a version?

Is it the heel? I just hate when you see the pictures and it's like that one bit of like aisle on like green grass. I don't know why I just find that really like jarring to me. I don't think I've ever seen that before actually. Exactly. Because you've got taste. Does no one does it. Fine.

Okay, got it. Got it. Got it. It's like I don't mean to slag off, you know. people are different tastes to me. Each to their own. Each to their own. But, like, it's quite...

So I personally was born of grass. Do you know what I mean? I'm from the countryside. Like, I quite like grass. Don't get me wrong. In my day-to-day life, I don't mind grass. Yeah. Just in my wedding photos.

Yeah. I just think also with those, like, expanses of grass, you've got to do something with it. I guess it kind of looks like a golf course. Overall will love it. It's perfect. I just... It'll be like the Chelsea Football Ground.

Grass. It's perfect. I'm changing your mind. What will we do if we've... I was panicking on Friday half basically because the two we saw on Friday, the second one was cool, but very rustic, dusty.

I mean, it's just, you know, not for me. And I panicked on Friday night and I said, what if we don't find something this weekend? And he said, don't worry, they've just changed the laws in England. We could get married at Stanford Bridge. And I said, that is honestly at top of my fucking concerns. You have to get married.

It's like, why are we talking about Italy? Why are we here talking about it? That's perfect. He said the aisle will be up to the middle line. Oh my God. Taylor Swift, eat your heart out. It's perfect. Sound for bridge.

Imagine getting ready in the dressing room. Glam. I'm being so for real. Wait, why do we do our sit? London ceremony at sound. I'm not even joking. You actually could do that. I think this is amazing.

I don't know why we're not thinking about this. You could literally... Babe, be real. I'm being so for real. You want my wedding focus. It's not all about you. And Rawl loves Charles. It's not all about, okay, it's all about me,

but it's definitely not all about fucking Chelsea Football Club is what it's not about. You didn't even like meet there or anything. His obsession with Charles in the wedding actually does need to simmer. I know. Yeah, okay, fine, right. And then Saturday. So Saturday we had, I genuinely think we saw eight on Saturday.

But I just want to say, guys, global warming is so fucking real. It was, the car said 40s. If anyone. If anyone was in doubt. It's not. Yeah. I just want to confirm, on Saturday, the car said 47 degrees.

And we were walking around and like, I love, I'm like a lizard, I love the heat, but I genuinely was like drenched in sweat. Pick me. Not pick me. That's not a pick me thing. Some people like the cold. No one likes to be hypothermic. Some people like skiing.

They don't mind. No, maybe they don't like it, but they don't mind it. They don't mind. I guess when you've got all your gear on. Anyway, by the bye, carry on. Right. Anyway, sorry, Saturday. We saw eight.

and long story short, we basically got our shortest down to five. That's loads. But then one of them we discovered was astronomically expensive and the ceremony was on grass. Why would you make? So I said, obviously, we've got to cross that off. I'm not going to pay that kind of money and have an horrible ceremony on grass I hate. Or even like have to cover a pay to cover up the grass. That feels like a bit counterintuitive.

Exactly. Yeah. So the two that we saw that I really liked, one, I won't. name them because I don't want to. Gay-key. Well, because I haven't confirmed anything yet. And I don't want to, like, have any bad ju-ju. But basically, the first one is, like,

got this amazing view. It's all white. The owner showed us around. The ceremony is on, like, it's basically got loads of different spaces that are all, like, courtyard, so it's all paved. Tick. Love, and the place that you have dinner, like, there's this little chapel that you can, like, sit and you can, like, it's really sweet.

Beautiful. And then the ceremony would be like, it's like a courtyard and they have like olive trees. Love it. And then the sticking point there is that their curfew is too. So obviously we need to do some work on that. But do you think like as an ex-wedding planner, this used to be a job I used to do. Shut up. Yeah, for real.

I think. I did not know that about you, that law. I've honestly had a million jobs. I think 2 a.m. are people wanting to carry on a wedding at 2 a.m.? So personally, this weekend, I just went to. to a wedding. I went to bed at 5.30am. That's crazy. Yeah, and it was like the best night ever.

See, I think two is too early. I'm not saying it needs to be five. I would say three or four. If they said you have to be done. I just think you need the option. I know, but okay. Because I always think what happens at weddings I've been to previously is that you need a different space if you want to carry on past say like one two normally in the UK.

As soon as you go to that other space, vibes are gone. Everyone's a bit tired. Peeps are kind of going to bed. Like, it's not quite, it doesn't quite have the, like, after's feel that you might have when you're on a big night out and then you go home to someone's house for some reason. So I think you just have to accept that if it's 2am curfew,

that probably is the end of your night. Yeah, yeah, that's it, I think you don't want that, you want the option to go for longer if needed and not to have to, like, like, imagine one of those places having to, like, move it to, like, bedroom inside. It's just like, it kills the vibe, basically. Yeah. So you don't want that.

You want the, you want the, option to carry on. I won the option, but like basically if they can extend it to like three, I would settle on that. Because I think like if it takes every other box. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, music off. I just think two for me is too early because I went to a wedding the summer in Italy and the car just, carriages at one. No. And I was like, I'm literally just getting started. Just fall off my head. Yeah. Yeah, like I can't go to sleep now. Oh my God. And then you get, you go back to the hotel. Yeah. But that's what I had. Then I had to go swimming at five o'clock in the morning because I was like I can't go to I can't possibly lie my head down if I lie my head down

now it'll all be over for me yeah yeah yeah I'm I'm wired I mean I do so I couldn't I couldn't sleep I couldn't possibly yeah also I know us like we won't go to bed but I think the bride do go to bed early on a wedding I always used to clock I thought they're off and then it's usually the Gs of the world parting on the dance it was to be fair the bride this weekend was not still there oh really no because they've been up since six a year no She was late. She was probably like half three. Her glam must have started.

What time did her glam start? Anna was in glam at 8.30am. I mean, everyone's up. They did well, to be fair. Yeah. We'd had like a really leisurely day. Like, just chilling. No wonder you were able to go till five in the morning.

Wait, what other weddings have I been to? I've never had a wedding that's done. I've never done that before her wedding. To be fair to Izzy, she might be right. Yeah. That was probably quite an anomaly because everyone was just in like a big old party mood. My most carriages I've had as 2 a.m. Even two, two is too early.

Definitely for me two is too early. But I'm not saying, you know, it's your wedding. It's a boot off. Listen, to your life. Watch out being better. Like, she'll be asleep on the seats. She literally will. She does this all the time when she's drinking.

You might have to have a power now, but you give it the big I am, but you do fall asleep. But we're going to get married really late in the day. So we're not going to have to like get. My birthday didn't start midday. You're still asleep. I'd had a full week. That was a working day. That was.

That was working day and I was knack. I'd had so much to do that day. So, David, you need to sleep. Can I tell you what? It's okay. Can I tell you when it gets me is when I'm in like an enclosed space. Yeah. Like if I have to sit, it's the sitting.

Yeah. I have to be stood. I can't sit. I can't sit and talk to someone then I think that. That's why long dinners for me. I really struggle. Sleeping. Yeah.

Yeah. We best be careful with your second look change. Like no sitting down then. You've got to stay up. I think I'm not. wedding day, the adrenaline might pump you up. Yeah, fingers crossed. Sometimes at other people's weddings, you know when you're sat next to someone

and you think I could easily nod off right now. Easily. No. Easily. I could easily fall to see right now. There is a little lull in a wedding normally because it's quite, it is a long day. Especially if you're sat next to people you don't know, you've exhausted all the topics of conversation.

I know, well, that's one thing I was grateful for at this wedding. She put everyone next to people they knew and I thought, thank you. Sorry. Why are you trying to mix it up? I totally agree. It's so, I hate it when people do that. I want to be next to someone I know and love. Do you know what I mean?

That's the point, because then I want to chat to them. Anyway, the second one that we liked is the ceremony location is like in front of a chapel. So you actually, the aisle walks up and you stand outside a chapel. It's beautiful. But then on the backside of the chapel is the dining area and that you need to really dress that. Like, it's grass. Not grass. The hatred for grass.

To be fair, you did see it at a very dry time. I mean, you've got to have vision. It might be prettier. But she said in May June, it's going to be very green. Good. That's a lot of green. A lot of green. Green is pretty, though.

Like, when you think about green against blue sky, like, it's not. Like, the dry is worse. Think about the common now. True. The common looks horrible now. But when it's green, it's somewhere you want to be. You're desperate to get the common. I don't like dinner on the grass.

Fine. Do you know what I mean? I'm trying to imagine when I've last had dinner on plain grass. in heels and a dress. That's, I think, for me, the thing. Yeah. As someone who has walked on grass at weddings, I think it's so jarring.

Yeah. I did fall a few times, actually, I think. Yeah. I can't remember. Well, anyway, that's good. Two options that are great. So those are the two, and then there is one more that...

It's also really hard because, like, the two that I just mentioned, sleep like a smaller number, but then the third option, sleep like 50 people. But then it's like, Did you actually pick for your 50? And is it actually good?

Maybe it is good, I don't know. Depends who's sleeping there. Exactly. Could be tricky. Well, yeah. I have a question. When you're viewing them, are people not getting married? Well, this is why.

So we had to, there were so many. Thank God, basically, all and I were going to get them, there was a like midday flight on Monday. And we were like, oh, we might as well just like, we're going to have the car. We might as well, like, drive around the area and look. Thank God we did because we just drove into these two places on.

Monday and they were like we couldn't have seen you yesterday we had weddings. Oh my God. And there was one actually that we wanted to see that we couldn't because there was a wedding. And even weirder, one of them that we saw on Saturday, we had to be there at like 10 because they check in was at like two and they were having another wedding. And then we didn't like that one. And then raw on his Instagram was like, oh my God, the wedding that weekend is someone that I know. No. That is so weird. So weird. because we'd seen them in the airport we'd seen

when I was on the phone to you on the way I turned around and we were always talking to these two boys and I was like oh I went to school with them and they're going to a wedding

in Pooleyer this week and I was like oh my god how weird and then it was that one that's good you can look at the pictures I saw them I didn't love that

it was a lot of cross fucking no the bedrooms were giving like it was like a really like old noble estate

like all the bedrooms you know when it's a bit spooky yeah like who did yeah I don't know that I don't like that. Shivers, yeah. And then on the Friday, we're going to try and do like either a beach club or like in the town. We're going to try and find like a big, all of these places, though, all of these towns.

They're like old, old, like all the roads and they're like this. So like there aren't loads of enormous restaurants with like, that can, you know, hold loads of people. So anyway, the beaches, guys, I have to say if you want a beach in, okay, reasons why Peolia is good. everything is dirt cheap. I can't even tell you the food, the wine is so cheap. The beaches are sandy. Love. Like really sandy.

I mean, they were packed because it was the last weekend of August. The people are so nice. Obviously, the food is unreal. So yeah, we might try and do a beach club on the Friday night, like a welcome vibe. And then Sunday we'll just do a pool party. I think everyone would be pretty fucked. Yeah. They'll still be partying apparently.

I'll stop with that. I won't start. You underestimate us at your peril I'm well at your parties I'm going to see if you're going to be out till 5am next month yeah I'll be judging the thing about me is I don't I get a little when I'm on it I don't like to go home makes feel sad I can't have this night end

makes me feel a bit miserable so then I've got to stay do you know what I mean I'm like I'm chasing something it's not good that's all my tea for you really so now we've got to wait This is like the boring bit, isn't it? We just got a wait. Got to wait for availability. Got to wait for budgets. Got to wait for like everything.

Everything. You best do your save the date once you've got that booked. Sis, so funny yesterday. Jemima on the call asked me. And what about who? And stationary budget? And I said zero. Zero.

My stationary budget is zero. I know a girl called Georgina Forsythread. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got to go and do that photo booth thing. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. Let's get raw. And what's he doing? Honestly, I don't know. Genuinely, who the fuck knows? His diary's busier than ours, and that's hard. I don't know how he does that.

Tell you I'm in trouble with fucking Wandsworth Council. I have got four parking tips. I was on a date, right? Like, juxtaposition of our lives is so extreme at the moment. Al's going on this, like, romantic trip to look at her, like, wedding days. It wasn't, I just want to just really, I need everyone to know. Babe, it was romantic. Okay, it was.

Roar was too hot. Romantic in parts. Did you look at him and think, God, I can't wait to marry you? Babe. Yeah, I mean, he's quite sweet. He kept saying to me, he was just so hot. No, on the last day, on that Monday, we had like, sorry, I have hijacked your story now, but we went to the beach and then we went to the town, but we, like, we're all like,

you know, when you get changed in a beach club and it's like so fucking hot in those toilets. Anyway, we get out the car. Also, the car is freezing cold and then you get out and it's 45 degrees. So we're walking around this town. I was like, oh, let's just go have a leisure shot. Raw is literally, when I say marching, you honestly think he'd got a fucking train to cat, marching ahead of me.

And I said to him, and he's drip it, babe, dripping. His shirt is wet. He's always rushing somewhere that boy. And I said to him, why don't you just slow down? There was a seat, like, just like in the middle of the street. And I was like, why don't you just sit down for a second? I don't want to sit in the middle of the street. Anyway, so anyway, he was just having a hot and bothered a moment.

And I said, why do you go get some ice cream? He walks into the fucking shop. You know, when you say, can I try, he said, can I try the tiramisu and the left. The man obviously didn't quite understand. By the time I turned around, been given two cups of lemon and Tiramousou. He was, I didn't fucking want it. Anyway, he ate his ice cream in silence and then he said, I'm so sorry, Bob, I was a bit

hot and bothered. Yes, I saw that. I was aware. Right, sorry, back to you. I was the collateral of that. Romantic, please. Okay, romantic, romantic. Ice cream in the street, hot and sweaty, sexy.

Yeah, so I basically. had been on a date and then I got back to my sodding car. Where was I going? I was going to find a dress for this wedding. Oh, for God's saying. Yes, I'd been on a date and then I was like, I need a dress because like I'm going tomorrow, so I need a dress to wear. Anyway, so then I went to my car to drive to Batty.

He had four parking tickets on my fucking car. I was literally like, I'm going to have to just quit here now, I think. I'm going to have to just retire. What you're going to have to do is pay your permit. Right. Well, me and Wonsworth Council have serious beef because A, why does it not roll? Like, why is it not an opt-out?

That's stupid because you want to give me four parking tickets. Of course you do. Of course you do. Anyway, then it pissed it down with rain and got into the little plastic holdings. Oh, no. I can't read the codes. Oh, no, that's awful.

So then I tried to call them. So when I was on the phone to you, then I was like, la-la, I love him. She was like, shut up. I was like, yeah. Oh, for God's sake. She loves everyone.

at the moment. It's ridiculous. And I was like, anyway, got to go, got to ring once to work council before they close. So ring ones with come on hold for like 40 minutes in Reformation, trying to find on address, like having like a kind of like nervous breakdown. So I'm like, I've got nothing to wear. Anyway, they never picked up. So now I just haven't paid it all called them again. And it's now like a week later.

And I'm probably at that bit now where you can't even pay the half price. It sucks to be you. It's going to be honestly like millions of pounds, I think, to runs to a council. Like millions and millions of pounds. It's actually such bull. It is. Parking tickets are, you know, an evil of this world.

Also, like, I'm not a stranger here. Like, A, you've given me parking tickets before, so you know my car. Do you also think, if you've given me one, it's their need for four? One is fine. Like, and clearly, I have not been to my car, clearly.

Because why would I leave the sodding parking ticket there? That's how to be illegal. To put another one, another one, another. Oh, it was only one day. No, no. But she just hadn't been to the car for like a week. But I hadn't been to the car. I'm not driving anywhere.

I'm driving my car. I don't know where I'd been. Had I been away? Yeah, you went to fucking Spain? I don't know where I'd been. I'd not been here. And then boom, four parking tickets. And I think...

Have you paid a permit now? Yeah, paid the permit. I haven't paid the tickets. Because I don't know how. I can't type the code in. It makes no sense. It's all smudged. Smudged.

Guys, I have got another massively exciting update and this is so... I don't think we should talk about it. Oh, you think, no, not allowed. Okay, no, not allowed. Because if they don't let me in it, I will literally... I will cry. No, go on, whatever.

Like, what they're going to do, cancel my account. A dating app. I have managed to log into her account on my phone. So Al is now got an addiction to dating apps. So last night. She's using it like her candy crush. And I've got one notification today, actually I haven't checked on. Oh my God, I've got five matches.

I. And one message. I need to turn notifications on. So you're texting them then? Not coming me. No, no, I'm not texting them. I'm just marching at the moment. Is that where we draw the line?

No, no, I will be. No. Is that where we find a boundary? I don't know. No. So last I was having dinner on my own, sat in front of the TV, watching some TV, and I thought, normally I'm able to play a candy crush here. Yeah.

No worries. Yeah. I've now got this to film my time. There I wore. A little, right. And it's paid off because I've got five likes. Fantastic. Yeah.

So anyway. Anyway, that'll keep out busy for the next however long. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, galleyes, welcome back. What will we call the galley's this week? Great question. Oh my God, guys, I know. Right, at this wedding on Saturday,

it was obviously a bit of a wild one. I have met this girl before, Emily's cousin's wife, I think. And anyway, her name's Sonia. Shout out of Sonia. She listened to the pod. You know Sonia. She DM does.

I know Sonia. Sonia is postpartum. I don't know how old her baby is. I tried her breast milk at the wedding I did a shot of her breast milk with tequila It was phenomenal What does it taste like? It's so delicious It's so sweet and lovely

Really? And it was freshly pumped It was kind of warm Which was a bit like The warm, the warm for me The warm makes you feel a bit funny But it was delicious It's like so sweet And apparently it's got so many like

Antibodies in it that I was trying not to get a hangover I obviously had the worst hangover I've ever had in my life But I thought maybe this will work So I was shot in her breast milk Is she not drinking? Yeah no she was drinking boozy breast milk that's why I'm so hung over probably interesting yeah wow no I do know that when

women you know when they pump so much and then they have like stores yeah but then men pay for it apparently why you're missing men yes yes yeah people that want extra protein yeah pay for the breast milk because they think it gives them gains I'm not joking no no no full gains it's for real yeah and it's delicious it's so sweet did you love it was it actually delicious I buy or you pissed okay it's one of those well I was pissed exactly famously I was pierced. But I think it's one of those things where your head clocks what it is. You think you're not going to like it. Because you're like, it's from a tit. That doesn't feel yummy. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. But the actual taste is just like sweet milk, like honey milk.

That is so yummy. I'm going to, I can't wait to drink your breast milk. Yeah, of course. Mine, yours. What baby am I having? What baby am I having? I know. 2028. All the fuck's out. You're going to have to get pregnant. Straight away. I'm not joking. Okay, let's call the galleys Sonia. Okay, let's have our first voice note. Oh, galleys, have I got a story to tell? Long story short, he seemed like a lovely guy, like so, so sweet. Oh, they always do?

So, like, smiley, seemed really innocent, but I just was not feeling it, but I thought, let's just enjoy the date. We end up at a pub, we're on a sofa, he starts scooting towards me. He seems really lovely, but I am trying to not show interest because at this point, I know I'm not. At this point, however, a slight shift happens. Like, I keep clocking him, staring at my boobs with a dead pan. face and that makes me well uncomfortable. I just want to go home. So I say about leaving, but he wants

a McFlurry. So we stop and get him. My Flurry! And then he walks me back to my car. He walks me to my car. He puts down his McFlurry and he gives me the most awkward hug ever. I turn to leave and all of a sudden this like sweet, gentle persona switches and he says, come here and aggressively grabs me and tries to kiss me. But the kiss doesn't even happen. Like he doesn't even find my lips. So I end up shoving him off and kind of like laughing it off. As I turn, he hooks me and he hooks me and he hooks me and and gets me in a headlock, bending me over backwards, shut up, like onto him. I am then literally fighting for my life.

I don't know if I'm being, like, attacked, or if this is him joking, he's laughing, but I don't know the, like, intent behind it. I eventually get off, and I'm like, what the fuck? Like, kind of still trying to laugh it off, but I am getting serious, grabs me and tries to kiss me again, to which I then shove him off and jokingly say,

like, not joking, but trying to make a joke, ha-ha, you can wait for that. He eventually then picks up his McFlurry and leaves, and then like 30 seconds later sends me a voice note saying like thanks for a lovely night as if nothing happened. The next day I then send a message and say like I don't see this going anywhere romantically and the way it ended wasn't okay. You need to like take no for an answer and I feel a bit put off dates for life like I'm yeah, a bit put off now guys. Love you galley's and yeah any advice please. I don't fucking blame you babe. I'd be a bit put off for life.

Love you babe. Hope you are okay. That's not right. Also, at that point, I'd be like panic. I'd start screaming. No, I'd scream. I'd say, I do not know this. You're meant to say that. I do not know this man.

I do not know this man. That would be me. If I was in a headlock, are you mad. The headlocks are never sexy. No, if I was in a headlock, I'd need him in the balls. Number one rule, a fight club is always kick them or need them in the balls. Quite tricky in a headlock, wait, because you're behind. Wait, how is a headlock?

She said headlock onto him. By the by, basically, you're a very compromised position and you're right. Compromise that you can get to the nuts. If you can get to the nuts, get to the nuts. But then this is the problem. It's so weird when you've been lulled under a false sense of security of having a really nice. I hate that shit. I hate that shit.

I have a nice, nice guy day. Nicety, nicey, nicey. And then so I think I should be laughing because you've been a nice guy thus far. But now I'm in a fucking headlock and that's not normal. Well, I'm so sorry to, you know, darken the mood. Well, darken it because these men, you're not safe on these streets. Well, this is what happens to, you know, men that end up abusive. It's a gateway.

It is. Yeah. Because you're, lol, yeah, it is. Because you think, oh, lool, he was only joking. That's never a joke. No. And then it's like, like, flashes. Yeah.

Like when people start flashing and then they actually start assaulting, that's what he's doing. He's like trying his luck. He's weird, weird, weird, weird, weird. You should report him. I don't know how you met him, but if you met him on apps, if you met him on an app, you can report him. And I believe you should. I genuinely do it. I agree.

I totally agree. Because, like, that's not, like, in no world is that right. Also, to then text, that's also the gaslighting bit that that that the voice. You know, hey, really nice night. That wasn't a nice normal night. That was an odd night. Also, I'd have drawn the line at Moffurray. Why are you going to buy him at Flurry after our date?

That feels weird, doesn't it? Babe, if you went on a nice date with someone and they were looking at your boots and then they were like, do you want to go get a MacFurray? Obviously, you'd be like, yeah. Deadpan at my boobs, I'd be so concerned. I'd be like, what are you looking at? You're in all the Tremes. What can you see that I can't?

Because I've got an X-ray vision going on, brother. I don't like that. I don't like that too. Then imagine the broad daylight of McDonald's. And then you get put in a headlock in a car park. That's not right. The McFlurry for me is not the issue here. The headlock is the issue. The headlock is worse. I'd be so petrified in that situation. I would scream. Definitely. I would have screamed. I would have screamed. A hundred percent. I would

screamed. Or genuinely, I'm not joking if I could have kicked him or whatever. Elbow in the gut. Something. I would have hurt him and run. And I'd have been like, what the fuck are you doing? Yeah. And then I would report him. Yeah. And if I knew anyone that knew him, I would tell them. Babe, so good though that you replied saying, obviously don't do that again. that was so inappropriate. Obviously, you're a fucking weirdo. Okay, I've been on a lot of dates, a lot of first dates, a lot of second dates, and I have personally never been put in a headlock.

So I think I just want to like, like, you know, reassure you that maybe that was a one-off and you don't need to be scared forever moving forward. But it is valid that you now feel a little bit wary of going on dates with people you don't know. Because it is, like, they can be weird. You don't know that someone's normal. I've said this fucking, the ages. They're strangers. They're strangers.

You're literally spending time with a stranger and you're really like give it. A date requires you to be so vulnerable with who you are. Yeah. Off the fucking bat. Yeah. With someone you do not know. It's, if you really think about it, it's actually quite weird. Yeah.

Dynamic scenario. Whatever. Yeah. Also, I do think some people do forget that you being like polite and, nice is not like consent for anything and everything. Like just because I've been like nice to you on this day doesn't mean that you like, I owe you even a kiss. I don't owe you anything. No, I don't know you anything. What do you mean come here? I don't come there. No. You grab me. That's fucked. Well, okay, the only thing I will say, obviously none of, like, there is nothing you could have done to make

this, like none of this is on you. But for example, when he said, come here and give me a kiss and you said something like, oh, you're going to have to wait for that. Rather than saying that, I think... Oh, but in the moment you don't. Because also you don't know what they're going to do. So you're like almost trying to like pacify. But he'd already tried to kiss her at that point and lunged. Missed her lips.

Yeah. He got no aim. So like, do you know what I mean? I think maybe... It's really hard in those moments to go full like screaming like freak. No, no. I don't think you need to go screaming freak. I think you can just be more like, um, not.

today, like firm. Yeah. Rather than like, you're going to have to wait for that. It's like more flirty. I know, but even then, like, I don't think flirting is like, you know, consent for that. I put, obviously, I don't think that. You could have flirted the whole night and then he still could turn weird. I totally agree.

But clearly, the male species have not yet caught up. I know. And so. I don't know what we do about that. But you have, sadly, it is an issue. But it is an issue that can be like, we have the power as women to communicate that. We do, but then I think it's the fear of communicating that. Like, she even said his energy shifts. So I think sometimes you feel like, I've been in so many situations like that where I'm like,

I'm going to trigger like potential aggression. And that is the last thing I want to do. So yeah, if I keep it light and joking, maybe then I'm safe. True. I just feel like all you can do is actually remove yourself from the situation as quickly as you can. Yeah. That is the best thing that you can do. And however you do that, however you get to your reject button, you just get that. You just get that. there. Yeah. And then you leave. Yeah. You say your McFlurry's melting, brother. You best be on your way. Well, you need like a stock line, basically. Yeah. To get out of like any situation, like an eject button. I mean, listen, we shouldn't have to have that at all. No, of course we shouldn't. It should be normal etiquette that on a first day you don't put someone in a headlock or grab

them to snog them and they clearly don't want to kiss you. Do you know what I mean? Obviously. That should be, that should be rule number one. I agree, but I'm just saying like it's just too often. that people have these experiences. It's wrong. It's so wrong. And it's obviously should not fall to us to fix whatever's fucking happening here. Yeah.

But it does because boys don't talk like this and they don't. I wonder what happens. Like if a guy, like maybe he doesn't retell the story but I always think like when they go home of a date, like does he tell that bit of the story? Yeah, course. And he'll say he'll meet.

He'll know how he'll say. Yeah. And he'll be like, oh yeah, she didn't want to kiss me. So then I was like lolling, or joking around with it. They're not thinking like that. Yeah. I'm not saying that's right.

I'm just like, that is sadly the facts. This is why more straight men need female friends. Yeah. They really do. And they need sisters. I do believe that brothers with sisters are slightly kinder. Yeah.

Or like at least like, no, that's wrong. The problem with boys in general is that, well, many. I think it's like they don't, because they don't talk to each other, they only perceive things how they, like, how many times have you said something to your best friend and they're like, are you sure that they meant that? Yeah.

Boys do not have those kinds of conversations. So what they see and perceive is exactly, that's it. It was their... It's case closed. Yeah, like their viewpoint was what happened. Yeah. So if he thinks you found it funny in the moment, then... Yeah.

The actual best thing that you have done in this situation is told him post that that was not cool. Yeah. Because then hopefully enough people do that. that he doesn't do that again. Do you know what I mean? Because like if you never said anything, then he never reflects on it.

And then it's never an issue. And that's a problem. Because then it carries on. Anyway, babe, hope you're okay. And you can go on other dates. Yes. It's going to be okay out there. Not all of them are going to do that.

You just need to ease yourself back in. Time for an email. Hmm. Hey, galleys. I need your help. I have a group of five friends from school. Are you bored? No, no.

I'm sorry. Sorry, am I boring you? Is Sonia too boring you? You don't want to help her? I don't know, please. Please, Sonia too, continue. Good nurse. I have a group of five friends from school.

I've understood that part. Are you locked in? Yeah, I've got to close my eyes to listen today. I have a group of five friends from school that I've stayed really close with, despite us all being in different cities. Me and my best friend were always closest, and we still see each other loads. The problem is Whenever the other three come to visit

She seems to have a total personality switch Oh, I hate that I can't with that She'll chain smoke Sorry, sorry, funny too I did not expect that I thought she was going to like become a cow or something

Not a fucking addict She'll chain smoke Despite never usually smoking Talk loads about her one night stands And make fun of me to get laughs Bad, that's bad It's one of the worst It feels like she's trying to impress them and sees me as the boring one.

Recently they came down for a festival and were meeting some uni friends for dinner. My best friend somehow found out and invited herself along but didn't mention it to me, meaning I was the only one left out. One of the other girls even said she thought it was weird I wasn't invited to. Since then, my best friend keeps going on about what a cool night it was. Oh, sod off. I know people are allowed to hang out without everyone and I don't want to sound jealous or beggy, but it's really knocked my confidence and made me paranoid that she secretly thinks I'm a

loser. Do I say something or just let it go? I really don't want to be phased out. Oh, babe. That's the worst. Oh, it gives me shivers down my spine remembering those bad, bad, bad days of being friends with bad bad girls. I have been you. I just want to tell you I was phased out. Al was on ice. I wasn't phased out. I was cut out. Yeah. Cancer. Yeah, yeah. I was operated on and removed. Don't worry, I've had that too. I was younger when it happened to me. I was in year 11, but you had it at uni. Okay.

I think you need to say some, definitely you need to say something to her. For sure. However, I don't have the best hope for her response. Well, I think she's clearly seeking validation from these people that maybe she does, you know, put more weight on their opinion than she does on yours for whatever reason. than that is. It's not a reflection on you. That's a reflection on her. And until she is ready to look in the mirror, like, I've even been that girl. I think that's probably what I got like cut out to be honest. I'm rightly so. Probably deserved it. But like I, like, my only way to be funny used to be to take the piss out of people or like be me. Yeah. I really

I've done that too. Yeah. I hate that humor personally. I don't find it funny. And I used to do that when I was like 15, 16. I grew out of it really quickly when I realized that that wasn't good way to be funny. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not nice. It's just cruel. Um, and maybe she's going through that now. And I think the only thing that you can hope for is that once you've had that conversation with her, she sees the light. But if she doesn't, then that's not someone you want to be around. It's really hard because like you've all gone to uni. Is that right? Yeah. And like it's at, you're at that really uncomfortable stage in life where everyone is, everyone is figuring out who they are, but they're also trying to, like,

I do think going to uni gives you this different sort of like social set of rules. Like the thing about her changing around them, it's like she's trying to assert her dominance that she's cool. Like she's so cool and she went to uni. And like that's very, very, very common that people come back together after having been at school together. They then go to uni and they're like, where everyone's different. And it's like that does happen. Uni does do that to people.

I think what you can say is definitely I think a good inn is I felt really hurt by the fact that I wasn't invited to the dinner or the night out, sorry. And I just basically wondered why you didn't mention it to me.

Give it to her. I don't know what she's going to say. I don't know how, like, how cowie she's going to be. You can't know. Let's go worst cow scenario. Big cow. What would she say?

You're a loser and I didn't want you there. Literally. That's probably the worst that could be said yet. So then what would you say in response to that? I'd cry, personally.

No, don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. Don't cry. I would say, well, that's really bizarre because when we hang out together, that's good.

I feel like you're my best friend. So do you not feel that way anymore? That's great. Babe, that's great. then I see what she's had to now. Okay, worst case scenario. Worst case scenario again, she says, I don't feel like that anymore.

I've outgrown you. Yep. And like, you don't change smoke and that annoys me. And you don't like to go on cool nights out. And you don't have one night stands and only sluts allowed. Basically, yeah. Basically, if she says that, worst case scenario, then you say let them. Cool.

I agree. I'm going to put my energy elsewhere then because I'm at uni and I can make new friends. And I'm not going to be around people that make me the butt of the joke. and don't want me there. Yeah. Because I'm good. Yep. And then you're on your merry way.

You're on your merry way. And like, it's not to say you need to like never talk to her ever again because there might be. Especially if you're in a friendship group. Yeah. There might be some redemption for her later down the line. Of course. You know, I'm not fucking holding my breath.

But especially with the other three, I think you can also have that conversation of like, you can say also to them. Why did no one mention it? Yeah. I feel really left out. And I thought that we were a group. And like if, if I've misread that or if the situation is changed, or if you all think I'm like, whatever it is,

I deserve to know because this is so unfair. I had this basically and I said, basically what the fuck I actually lost my shit. I didn't say it, she screamed there. I did. And I mean, like, you know, what was done was done. This is the thing with these situations is it's so sad actually. The main thing here is like you're hot.

It's like you feel like you're going through a breakup. You feel heartbroken. You feel bereft. It's awful. And you really, really need to, I think as well, especially at this period of your life, you're clinging to what you had. And like if you can find a way to grieve what you had

or just like cherish it for what it was for that chapter in your life and like flow with it. I know that for a minute you might feel really lonely and you might feel a little bit like... Lost. Yeah, lost. You do. You feel really untethered.

Yeah. And you feel in it like does create like this like anxiety. in you because you're awful oh it's so gross i think about it now and i think i'd be sick i moved to school so that's how bad it was so like i get it it's so bad and like it's horrible and it makes you question like yourself and your worth and that's really really difficult but i like if we can tell you one thing having been through it and be at the other side of it is that it says way more about them than it does about you and also that like you know if you if you try and cling on to that friendship group or that friend who doesn't serve you well.

Doesn't make you feel good. That dynamic will continue. I have friends are still in that dynamic because they never bothered to get out of it because and now they're too entrenched. Now that's their whole social circle. Yeah, and now that's like that's the way your friendship is. You take the piss out of me.

You only invite me when you fancy it. Do you know what I mean? And that is fucked. So like, you know, short term pain, long term gain, really. But it's, it is pain. It's a lot of pain. Yeah, it is. But I think you've got to find some,

courage in yourself and have the conversation to have those conversations and to I think as well especially like I remember as well feeling like

well I can fix this maybe you can't fix this and that is also okay some people are you know just for a chapter maybe they are just for the chapter good luck babe

love you love you okay this is time for the galley gossip it's time for the galley gossip The Galley Gossip is a segment that we like to gossip mine in. Gossip Maxing.

I feel like everyone's back on gossip now. I feel like Gossip's in. I feel for a while. What's Gossip? Yeah, I think we all went off gossip. You've never gone off gossip. My first question when I walk in the door, what's the gosh? Yeah, you always say what's the gosh?

But I just think we did go off it a little bit. Because I think people thought like it was, what's the word? Bidgy. No, not even bitchy, just like, um, small. minded. Like there's bigger things to talk about. Well, what's that famous proper? It's like, smart people. Smart people. Yeah. Yeah. Interesting people speak about, wait, I've got it. It's like I wrote it down like a million. And it's like small minded people talk about. Who is calling me? One's worth counsel. Probably. I swear I've written this down before because I love

this and I've said it to you a million times. And I would put us into that category. How could people ever go off gossip? It's just so, What do you talk about? I can't find it. I'm going to find it for next week. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. I love a little goss.

There's not a day goes by at Alli and G Limited, where we've not got goss. I feel so boring if I come to this podcast and I think I want no goss to say. I feel so boring if I come back from like, you know, overnight and I've got nothing to tell you. Yeah, it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. Like when I had that DM to show you today, I thought, thank God. Thank God. Otherwise I would be dull.

Anyway. Okay, we've got a DM from Lily who thinks she cursed the wrong guy. Oh my God. She's a witch. Goodful about this yesterday. Hey, Galley's. Hi, Lily. I went on a date with a guy who was a bit meh.

We both fancied each other, but the date itself was bland. Christ, nothing worse than bland. First date nerves were definitely there, thinking about how I was sat, whether he could hear me swallowing my drink, all that bollocks. Yeah. We decided to go on another date and I thought, fuck it, I'm going to be 100% myself.

If he doesn't vibe with that, it's never going to work. Good, that's a good mindset. Really good. It went amazing. This is why you always need. the second day, unless they're really odd. It's hard on the first day. True.

I don't know who I am on the first day. It should make it up. We ended up seeing each other eight times in three weeks. Bloody hell. And slept together a couple of times too. Then I went away for a week and the communication just vanished. I had better conversations with myself. I told him I was back and he said he'd love to see me but made no actual plan.

So naturally I got drunk and decided an Etsy, which was the answer. Hellarious. Obviously. The only problem she needed his middle name and birthday. God, is that specific, is it? Well, yeah, because they can't be getting that wrong. Well, I'd seen his ID once, so guessed both. The witch has now responded and nothing has changed.

I think I've paid a witch to cast a spell on the wrong man. Oh, no. So do I just trust my drunk self and an overpriced witch? Find out his actual details and try again, or do I just give up? Honestly, babe. If I were you, I'd give up. I would give up because I think if he wanted to, he would. And I live by that now.

Like, I really do. Agree. If he wanted to, he was. Well, also, I actually don't think he's worth the money. He hasn't really done anything wrong. I mean, sorry, he's not, obviously what he's done is wrong. But on the scale of one to bad, he didn't put you in a headlock, do you what I mean? Save your Etsy witches for the headlock boy and like, you know, like, wish fungal toenails on him.

Yeah. But on the guy that just, like, was a bit dead on chat whilst you were away. Me too. I'm so dead on chat. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. I'm deader than dead. Like, I've got nothing to say to you because it balls me to text you.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So like I think that allow him that. And if he doesn't come back around, don't worry. Right. I just need to talk about this whole X, see which thing. Because I personally, I saw this. Al's going to start a side hustle, basically, is what she's saying.

No, no, I'm not going to start side hustle because I've not yet refined my craft. No, because I said to her. So Al comes to me yesterday. She goes, anyway. Comes to me. We're waiting on the bank platform. She comes to me. I'm minding my own business.

She comes to me. I think, what do you want now? What could this possibly be sorry? I'm polished. My wichess car. I've got... I'm so sorry, I did just something about my face of muscles.

I'm so sorry. I have got to stop pissing my pants. No, I'm just to banj the iPad. Fucking hell. Oh, by the way, by the bye. Sorry, we really must wrap this shit up. I got a notification today saying that my lost iPhone has been found, but then I clicked on it and it doesn't tell me where it is.

So they must have put a... online for a split second long enough for Apple to tell me that it was, you know, there. Oh my God, you can get that back? I don't know, yeah, I don't know. If it tells me where it is, I will go. I will find them. I will find them

and I will kill them. Anyway, sorry, really quick story. So basically, Ali comes to me and she goes, I've seen this reel about the switch, the switch to the thrill. And she said that you don't need confirmation. Like, there's no, like, you know, there's no Harry Potter scar on your forehead that tells

you that you're a witch. Like if you believe you are, you are. So then she goes anywhere, I believe I am. And I say, what is your, like, you need proof in yourself to know. Like, you can't just be like, one day, wake up. I'm, I can't wake up one day and be like, I'm a brunette. No, no, no, fair. No, fair. That's a fair one. I would have to dye my head. Brunette, to be a brunette. So prove it. Yeah, so that's what, I'm actually currently in the training process. Yes, because I recently did cast a spell and it did work. But what was the spell we wanted to cast? What, the cast, the spell I did. No, the other one. That one's paid off.

Whatever, you pick one. What do you want to do? Let's see if it comes true. Cast that spell. Okay, I'll cast it. It has to be on a person. No, I can be anything, situation. Something that, like, you know, you need magical powers to control.

Okay. Stay tuned. If you want to get involved in next week's galley gossip, send us a DM on Instagram or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. By the way, I've been reading the Spotify feature comments. Brilliant comedy. If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-617992. Oh no.

Oh, the first time you try and get it wrong. 07-642. No. 07342, 617792. You say it every week. This is your bit. You always cut in. Come on.

Or you can click the link in the episode description. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod. Bye