Leave A Message with Ally & G - Ally’s Resting B*tch Face and He’s Giving Me THE EYE??

Episode Date: May 13, 2026

It’s been a long couple of days as Ally and G return from a whirlwind weekend at the BAFTAs and they’re spilling all the gossip for you Gallies, including a very revealing insight into G’s showbiz crush…PLUS, one Gally is battling a serious case of resting b*tch face, while another is convinced she might have a secret sibling out there BUT can the girls get to the bottom of it??FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube.Leave a Message with Ally & G is brought to you by Love Honey. Check out www.lovehoney.co.uk. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've reached, leave a message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether your boyfriend proposed to you at your ex's wedding. Or you're still riding that engagement high. Woo! This is the podcast for you. Sorry, I still can't get over that proposal story, actually.

And I feel like it got, I feel it didn't get the love it deserved on TikTok. I agree. Because if people actually watch that, they'd be shocked. Yes. Shock horror. Anyway, I was just really thinking about that because I was at a wedding on the weekend. And imagine.

I was thinking if someone got down on one knee right now, that would be, I mean, that would be not only friendship ending. It's senseless. It's literally like you're living on another planet. And you think this is all just a game of monopoly. And you can just do whatever you want. There are rules.

And that is a rule that should not be broken, in our opinion. Guys, we went to the BAFTAs on Sunday. Woo-hoo. We did. What? What a life it is and what a brilliant thing to have done. It is one of the, I would say, best events for watching celebs because there's this little hack, guys. If you ever go into the BAFTAs, because you can go, by the way.

I met many people that had won competition winners. Right. So did you ask them how they want it? I did, babe. So basically, Alan and I, we're fast-tracking now, but we, at the end of the ceremony, we're on our knees. The girls have got to eat. We had more jelly snakes than after this time. It was two each this year. I did give one to Kane though and then we did have to split one in half when we needed it most. So Kane, that's love.

That's love. We found a little seat, didn't we, babe. We laid out all our bowl food. Al got a big platter of cheese. It is like honestly the hunger game trying to get a seat on the window. It's all glass. And there's this little ledge where you can sit. Alan I are shameless.

We don't care that we look really lame. Oh no, no, no. We don't give a shit. Sitting and watching the carpet. We love it. Also, if we'd have been miced, she wouldn't have wanted to hear what we were saying about the dresses. It's like with the fashion police.

Yes. We literally sat there like, not sure that's her colour. Oh, love that on her. Like really like, gosh, she looks amazing. God, she looks freezing. A lot of the time where, you know, I thought I saw Vicky McClure. It wasn't Vicki McCle. I kept saying, God, Vicki McClure looks good.

I said, but that's not Vicki McClough. It's just a woman with short hair. A lot of the time we're saying wrong people's names. Always. Bless Chesney Hawks. Was it Chesney Hawks in the end? It wasn't. Who wasn't it?

Rick Asleep. Oh my God. Guys, we walked the carpet besides Steve Mojahn. I didn't even notice. I don't know if this is known about me, but I really have a big old soft spot for Stephen Moly. She's famously obsessed with Stephen Moly.

She's very good at what he does. And I think he's very nice, man. You know, just as we like to at Ali and G Limited, did everything in 48 hours. Styling, glam, organise it. Like, everything was genuinely to the wire. So, because I also had a wedding on Saturday. So we did our styling Friday at 11 by some actual miracle from heaven.

First dresses we put on looked fucking amazing together. Genuinely, when I tell you that never happens, I cannot stress that enough. Normally, like, one dress will fit one of us and then, like, or it will be perfect on one of us and it'll be such a good look. And then we're like, oh, God, but like the one that like fits or looks good on, the other doesn't match with that. Like, normally it's a bit of like a, you know, a... Because listen, you can look good in a dress. It doesn't actually matter. No.

If the other person... Especially when you're doing everything together. If you look like going to two different events, it's no good. It's no good. And people standing up at the Skylawn Bar would be saying, gosh... They've got it wrong. That doesn't go together, does it? Exactly.

And we don't want to be subject to that kind of scrutiny. Precisely. Thank you very much. Sunday morning, we do our glam, we do our styling, we get in the taxi. I had this dress that was really fragile and, like, you know, did... And she couldn't, you know, her gate, I suppose. Oh my gate was limited. 10 centen.

Oh my God. I don't know. Do you know what I was thinking about the other day? The girls that actually wear those houses are CB dressing. To dinner! They wear them to dinner! There's zero gate. Yeah, babe!

You literally, you've got an inch. They're woodedling. They're like little ducks. I know. I don't like it. I feel restricted and I feel like there was an air raid simon or something I couldn't run. And I don't like that. I think we should always be able to run.

At any given time, you should be able to stride out. No, no. Couldn't get up the stairs. When I see those girls in their house of CB dresses, the hell. Just out for dinner, I think, fuck me. You and I, we're not saying from the... Look at this!

To the ankle! I know. Yeah, I could not walk. Anyway, our movement was incredibly limited. I would have paid so much money. To watch us to watch us set up on that red carpet. Guys, you'd have thought that we were like the main event winning, like, best leading actress.

Because we literally took our sweet time. Thank God Stephen Moorham was in front of us. Thank fuck. Two things. First of all, we are in. incredibly lucky to get to wear such like incredibly beautiful clothes like you know it does that is not lost on us so we we feel like clothes horses and we want to do panic like it's not about us it's about them being happy we were in flat iron practicing our poses and we didn't even have a mirror so i was just

having to look at and i was like yeah no yeah would you like set the knee a bit yet and she's like oh no babe leg in front hip out to the side a bit like very stressful we actually to be honest this is our hack and we now always notice when other celebrities do it because we are experts at this you have to practice your pose before you leave.

Kylie and Timothy always do it because when they get on the carpet. Magnets. Yeah. They know exactly where to stand because they practice 100 times. We didn't practice. We didn't practice time.

We literally, I don't even think I looked at myself, head to toe in them over before I left. I did not look. I would not have known. Which actually I thought was quite good but not for the carpet. Not for the carpet because we

the pictures are, we had some of our worst. I honestly, I will write a letter to Getty and say, I don't know what the fuck is your problem with us. Most of the time, like, okay, not always. I can't say always. I would say 90% of the time. One of us, at least, sometimes both, has a horrible time.

As if Getty has got something to go. No, that's not true. That is not true. Is it not? Recently, we've had a good run, babe. But those, there were many, I've got many on my phone, nice Getty's. Because when you're, you know. I don't know her.

on my phone let me show you. I best look at your phone because when I go on that Getty website I type in our names I think Helen Horror. We've got better at like you know we know the face we know the pose

like we know what we're doing for some reason on Sunday you would honestly have thought we had never seen a camera in our lives we'd have scared actually in most of the pictures it's quite overwhelming all of the walls are different like that Getty wall

is quite intense they're all layered why they're all layered there's millions of it's like an auditorium perhaps it is and then you try and crack a joke with them. They have none of them.

You've always tried that. I think I wouldn't have done that. Because I've just spent five minutes on my hands and knees and I think, well, we have a bit of a gag now. No one's. No, no, no. They're not in for a gag. Okay. You have a miserable life then.

It's really sad. And I'm not joking. You should somehow AI remove me because there is one Getty of you looking fucking sleigh. I don't think it's that good. You've got rose tinted glasses on theirs is. No, babe, you look amazing. And I always think how, what a crying shame.

There's two of us. Because you've had that before with me though. I remember there's one. There's one. I look, 10 out of 10. And we couldn't use it. AI crop me. I don't care. Like literally, edit, remove.

Clean up. Clean up this mess. Get rid of her. I'm not arced. I think it's hilarious. I'm not asking both ways because I think sad. So I'm very sad. Well, in one of them I've really got an ass and I've been working so hard on that.

Yeah, I know. Tap to vanish. You can do that now. Tell her Lomegger. I'll literally put that on her fucking website. How to build an ass in my ass. two years. Oh.

Anyway, but aside from that, we had a lovely time. Met Josie Gibson. She looked great. I thought that colour looked really nice from her. She looked gorgeous. Love to know where those photos are. I don't even know who took those. Voguey Williams had a fringe.

That was exciting for us. No, but we... Fucking clipping fringe was like Vogue. She had a haircut. She was absolutely not clipped in. Not brilliant. No, but I saw Spencer and Vogue on the carpet. And I was like, oh, there's Vogue.

She goes, that's not Vogue. She's got a fringe. That is literally Vogue. Whole new world. Maybe we could try that, the Clipin. I'd love to see you with the fringe I once Not like that actually

That was a cool one Because it was like a bit like pointy I saw her show everyone on Lorraine She literally just took it off Brilliant I thought that's genius I could definitely do with one of them Is it you rock a fringe

I could literally just pop that in No but that is not that type of fringe It's a full fringe Yeah No full fringe is a I think it's risky Does everyone remember When I have the micro fringe Have you ever ever

ever forget that guys I went with a ref and the ref did not ref I don't know what got lost in translation maybe I was not speaking English I mean I don't know I often think I don't shouldn't have to say much I just let things happen this is my problem this is the problem and I've said this before you're not vocal enough I'm I literally have no voice in those moments I'm watching him cut my friend like there like guys genuinely I had a microclaim joke no no I can't even tell you and I came out And Al tried to make a joke and I said, I swear to God, if you try and find humor in this, I might not have to fuck you up. Because there was no humour.

No, no, it was not funny for a long time. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I had a micro fringe. I don't know why you took that, what was the ref? It was the ref. The ref was a French bang, a French bob, I believe it's called. And it was, it's short, but the bang isn't short. Yeah, fair.

It did go wrong. It did go wrong, yeah. Anyway, sorry, that's by the bye. So we had a great time, didn't we? We really, we did a really funny time. Also, like, because this is, we, last year was the first year that you went. Like, it's really nice now to go and know what's up. So we got water and fizzy drinks this year.

Yeah, they were fucking splash it out, to be honest. They splashed. They let us drink. I know. That lemonade was delicious. Not us opening baby bells in front of like, J.B. From JLS, literally, I've never seen someone laugh like it. He literally looked, saw us unpeating the baby bells and he just goes. And I was like, ha ha.

Mind your own, J. be a girl's gonna eat. Okay, they gave it enough. We were actually having the silliest funniest time. I forgot about that. First of all, the bags were behind us. And so Joe was looking over my shoulder, looking at the pictures. Guys, when I say there are genuinely a hundred bad pictures.

No, no. He was one bad picture. Crying. Anyway, then someone told Lisa she looked like Kim were birds. We were really having a lot. She was like, she's dead. I was like, I think they mean when she was alive. Oh.

And then anyway, we had bought with us, because we learned from last year that you need snacks because the canapes before are just like no good. And they were, sorry, I don't mean to be quite so rude. They were horrible. Yeah, and then you have to wait. The bowl food is good. The bowl food is good. And we knew that from last year.

So you have to wait until about 8 o'clock. Bearing in mind, you've had breakfast at like, what, 11? And it's like a long day. Like, you're doing nothing, but you're also doing so much. Agree. Anyway, so we knew from last year you've got to take snacks So we opted for jelly snakes and a baby bell each That'll get us going, that'll get us through

Because our clutches are tiny So you can't like be packing, you know, your MNS made or deal Yeah So anyway, we're sat, we're ready, we're excited We're gonna have a jelly snake every hour We're gonna wait till we need the baby bell We're loaded We're not doing, we're ready

We're doing a marathon Yeah We know when we're fuelling, we know our field stocks Yes This man comes on the stage Who's doing the kind of like, you know The housekeeping if you will And he goes, we have got someone in the auditor

with a nut allergy, so please don't open anything you brought from home. Guys, she looked at me. Like, someone had just killed her mom. Well, we can't have the baby bells. I said, babe, there's no nuts. No, you were like, there's no nuts in baby bells. And then I was literally finding that so funny. Then I was like, I think it means anything.

And then we were like literally deliberating whether it meant like traces of nuts, things with actual nuts. I could almost be, I almost put my hands. house on the fact that there are not even a trace of nut in a baby bell. Oh my God. When was the last time you walked into a cheese factory and saw nuts? Many cheeses have nuts involved. Sometimes they put those nuts inside them or nuts on the side.

Nut crusted cheese. You never have any of that? I wouldn't say it's many. No, fine, it's not many. It's not many. Anyway, we really just had a funny, really fun time. And we just have to say thank you so much to P&O because it's a really, really fun day. It is.

Also, like, it was a really good. Bafters to be at. Like watching Stephen Graham win, I think he really deserved that. He said he'd been nombed like seven times and never won and that was his moment. Watching Alan Carr was fucking iconic. Celia Imrey getting absolutely raced by Seth Rogen. That is absolutely iconic.

Imagine. She's like one of our greatest actresses and he was like, I can't wait to watch more of your work. I'm assuming that you farted on national television and that was funny. Oh, so good. So good. So yeah, we had a really great, funny time. We nearly stole Grace Dent's taxi.

We, and also, you know, it's never lost. The reason as well that we have fun is because we have each other. And like we often say those days, you know, like obviously people have friends. But like in the industry. But it is different. Yeah. So, yeah, thank you, BAFTA. Thank you P&O.

Thank you to our full team. Yeah. Who, you know, really took us from zero. 200? Yep. Well, 98. I wouldn't say. I don't mean.

Quite 100. tried our best, hey? Yeah. Okay, join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, galleys, welcome back. What will we call the galley's this week? Should we call them Celia? Yes, good.

In honour of Celia Emery. Let's hear our first voice name. Hey, galleys, I love the pod, but I need some advice. I will describe myself as a judgmental bitch that shows all my emotions on my face. I can know I'm nice and caring and always be there if someone needs me, but God, do people piss me off. Apparently it's so obvious my sister tells me off all the time for pulling a face

or saying stuff out loud that the people around me can hear. It's like not my fault you smell like shit or say or do something stupid. It's like an automatic reaction to just make a face or mention it to the person I'm with. Is this normal or is it just a me thing I need to work on? Because my sister keeps telling me I'm being a big fat bitch. Oh my God, you are me. You are literally me. This is good because you are Al and I am your sister.

I'm just writing big fat bitch down in case I forget that. That's really good. Babe, this is good because I feel like we've done some training with you. I've been forced to. Look at my job because I can't be walking around. Unmasked. Sometimes Ali forgets, even at the BAFTAs on Sunday. I did think, sis, you might want to keep that one to yourself.

That opinion, you might want to say a little bit quieter. No, no. I know what you're talking about. And I hope, to be honest, I'm not afraid. I'm not ashamed. And honestly, I hope that person heard. You're the same as this girl. Occasionally.

I wasn't bitching. You have inside thoughts outside. And that is what we're trying to limit because sometimes, if you don't have anything nice to say. I don't believe in this. There's a limit. If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it. Thank you. Within reason, if someone is fucking grating you, grating on you and is just generally being jarring and obnoxious.

Yeah. I often sometimes just want to like say something to be, or like, you know, give a face to be like, just so you know, I'm not enjoying this and I'm not impressed. Yes. I don't know why. Maybe that's an ego thing. I just, I don't know. I just feel like I'm not going to perpetuate your boring, narcissistic. This is what happens.

Then she gets on a roll. Then we lose her. Then she said all sorts that she doesn't even mean. And you think, come back down to earth. What I think is, I understand what you're saying in moments like that when someone's really irritating you, someone's being rude, someone's being, you might give them a little swipe. Or boring. What, we're so... Okay, but it's not someone's fault that you find them boring.

It's not their fault. Are they being mean or malicious? No. So it's not your fault that you find their life dull. That's not... They might find what they're talking about extremely interesting. You can't be rude to that person. What you can do afterwards in the privacy of your own home is say, God, Derek, bored me today.

Fine. So fine. At the time you might go, God Derek, that's ever so interesting, but I'm desperate for a wee and you leave. I would do that. I would, to be honest, listen, obviously I'm like, you know, exaggerating here. In the moment, this is what I mean, I've been trained. Also, now that's why I'm saying, like, Alice, like, two years into her training for us together, we've been at boot camp. Yeah. And you're getting so much better. Like, you even did really well the other day when you then asked that person a question. That was kind. Wasn't it? Yes. And I saw you do it. And I thought, honestly, Brownie points to use this. You get a treat later. This is me doing charity work. It is. I'm sorry because I'm doing that to be kind. I don't actually give a shit. They're really good babe. And I know that is the basis of normal conversation. Yes. And if you want to eject, guys, Celia I won. You can. You just say, gosh, I'm ever so-so-so. I've got to go. I'm literally, I think I am just about to shit myself.

Yeah, anything. Like just make an excuse to leave so that you don't do your... Your worst work. Exactly. In front of others. Well, I will say about the masking, like the resting bitch face, because I also have that. I do think that you can, that's an easy thing to do. Yes. You can train that easily. Also, you can also say, which I quite enjoy, I have resting bitch face if I ever look annoyed with you.

It's not it. Do you know what I mean? There can be scenarios in which you can actually like explain to everyone that that's just your default setting. Yeah. Like I look a bit like, you know, like I'm in another world when I'm not concentrating and I'm kind of like. And I look a bit like worried about things.

I'm not worried, I'm just thinking. Do you know what I mean? So like everyone has it. Not everyone can just be like, yeah all the time looking like they're enjoying themselves when you're on you know just your standby mode so that's okay i think but yeah in certain situations maybe you could find a face like we practice our poses find a face yeah genuinely also like i don't know sometimes like you know when we or i have low social battery that's when it's like at its worst because then you like don't even have the

energy like listen i'm kind of joking obviously i don't hate everyone but there are some days where I don't have the energy to like really a hundred, like, when I talk to someone normally, I'm actually really like engaged and like I want to know. Some days I genuinely just can't bring myself to do it. So like have some stock questions. Good. That no matter what, you could ask anyone on earth, even if you don't care about the answer, at least it looks polite and like you're engaging. And so that that, the worst thing that could ever happen is that, I mean, this is how I feel, that someone came away from me and thought, oh wait, she actually hated me. because I don't hate you.

And I don't want you to think. I don't want you to think. I'm a bitch. Even though, you know, don't get me wrong. Let me go home and, you know, speak my private thoughts into existence. Exactly as you should. Like, if you want to get home and be like, God, that man on the train smell awful, fine. But when you're sat next next to me with the train, you don't have to be like, eh, stink. I don't know how bad.

My problem is. You are, but you don't have to do that. Is that obviously, you know, is my private thoughts. And she's everywhere with me. I'm always like, she is. And to be fair, you do do that. And private thoughts is a really good stock line. You just say, I'm going to just save that for my private thoughts.

Yeah. Many thoughts. That's what we do now. Yes, that is what we do. If I'm clocked, like, I'll, like, think something. Or if I'm about to say something, I'll just be like, I've just honestly got many thoughts. Many thoughts.

Just honestly got much to say. And obviously we don't say it. There and then. No, ever later, I might say. God. Basically, you don't want to lose touch of the fact that what you're saying is actually quite bad. So it's brilliant that your sister is there to keep you in check. I agree.

Because then you can just remember when you have the thought you can be like, that's quite bad, shouldn't come out of my mouth. Also, when you have the thought, I've practiced this, when you have the thought in your mind and like, I can sometimes feel my face like, yes. When you have the thought, not quite like that, but like, you know, you've got to

like think, you've got to, it's like muscle. Yes. You've got to pay attention basically. It's got to look alive. You've got to pretend like you're like in a play, you know? Yes. And like, I do think doing this job, you know, has forced, not just me, would force most people to do that because it's front facing all the time. So if, you know,

if you have the luxury of not having to do that all the time, I even have that in social settings sometimes, to be honest. After a really like long week when my social battery is really low and I'm like, I do want to go, but like, you know, I know that I'm not my best self right now. You honestly have to like kind of like pretend to be, I don't know, an alternative version of yourself or like, You have to kind of like be in a play.

Yes. And you're not playing bitch. Yeah, yeah. Okay, now time for an email. Hey, girlies. Love the Pod. I heard your episode about the secret sibling and wanted to share my story. Good.

I'm an only child on my mum's side, but my dad has three other children, one younger than me and two older, all with the same woman. Let's call her Sandra. I can't do the maths on that. One younger than me and two older. How Sandra managed to get pregnant at such different stages of her life? So he must have had two children. children with Sandra, then married or had a child with you.

And then gone back to Sandra. Fine. I'm from Liverpool and my dad is from down south. He used to come up most weekends with friends and he and my mum did long distance for about two years. My mum knew he had kids but he told her he was separated from Sandra. He also lied about his age and said he was about seven years younger than he actually was.

Seven years! Listen, seven years. Do you know, at 50 you can't really be getting away with that because you can't get away was it at any age. No. You think I could go, I'm 23. No, but you could say you were 36.

And that was an inside thought. Didn't need to leave her mouth. No, seven is never fine. Seven is five too many. I agree. You get two. I agree. We've all lied to get into a club,

said we're 18. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I've done that at 15. Yeah. Whoa, cool. Well, you're so cool When my mum got pregnant

My dad cut ties immediately And wanted nothing to do with us Fuck him Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry I was born very prematurely And my mum nearly died due to complications No He was told but still didn't visit or check in

Fucking hell I hate him Despite this, my mum would keep him Updated and begged him to have a relationship with me One time when she called Sandra answered the phone That's when they both found out he'd been with Sandra the entire time.

Shit, so the mum was the bit on the sign. So Sandra didn't know either. I met my dad for the first time when I was four and after that I'd see him a few times a year. I met my siblings when I was about 10 and now visit them occasionally. My dad works abroad so I only see him once or twice a year. I'm civil with him for the sake of the rest of the family.

However, there's another layer to this. It's a bloody lasagna. There can't be another layer. My mum has told me that he may have a number, another older daughter. One he denied was his, but the child's mum, and even his close friends believe she is his. My siblings don't know about her. I'd really like to know if I have another sibling, but I've never spoken to my dad about any of this.

I'm considering doing an ancestry test, but I'm worried about what I might find and whether it could cause more drama. I'm 28 now, and wondering if it's too far in the past to bring it all up. What would you do? Ruddy, El Queen. What a life of it you had. Sorry, I have to have some water, because that is just too much for me. That is a bit of a hard day in the office, something. Reading that.

Right. Hi, this is no good and this is where I struggle to say, you know, hashtag not all men. Because I think what is wrong with him? Why is he made such a mess of it all? Like, if you're going to have that many kids... Oh, fuck me, keep it clean, keep it tidy, keep them apart. Don't let them know.

Or be transparent and just be like, yeah, I am... I am, I'm a letharian. I've come up here, I've shagged in the north, I've shagged in the south, I shag abroad, and you've all got five siblings. Like, do you know what I mean? I just think if you're going to do it. I said this before, I'll say it again. That's like Mrs. Wilson.

Thank you. They didn't know. Usually they don't know because the man is embarrassed and ashamed, as they should be. Well, and it's like very poor behaviour, like to like, you know, have everyone on the go at the same time. And for everyone, also it's not fair on the kids. Like, you shouldn't even be having to make this decision. You should just know who you're saying. siblings are. Secret siblings should not be a thing. I would do ancestry.

Personally. Even if. What if there's like 10? I would do ancestry because I think that you're never going to, like the curiosity will never leave. Yeah. But, and I put a big yellow warning label on this, you have to really mentally and emotionally prepare for all outcomes. Yes. And I mean that in its totality because maybe you would have one more. She, jeez right, there could be others, many others. You don't know. In across the world that you don't know about. They could be. He could be transatlantic. And he is transatlantic. Your dad is. So in the seed. And I think, you know, I think already there's a lot going on here. It's already difficult for you to navigate. And I don't know, I just, I would, I would just say proceed with caution.

succeed, I would definitely do it. I could, I couldn't not. But I think you also have to think about what will you do or what will you say to whoever, if you find out. Like, what will you do with that information? I don't actually think you need to really consider your dad in this of the world. No, no, no, no, no, no, I agree. He's kept you in the dark.

I don't think you even need to talk to him about it unless you think he's going to be transparent with you and tell you all you need to know without having to, you know, go on ancestry, I guess. because he might. You never know. Also, sometimes time is a healer and the fact that you're 28 now, you're a grown woman,

like maybe that conversation is easier to have than it is with a child. And so maybe he would be transparent because you're coming from a place of like, you know, if I have got siblings, I would like to know them, obviously. Your poor mom. It's so bad because I always think about this stuff

and I know it's like so bad but like I'm obviously an only child and I actually would be like a bit gasped. I obviously wouldn't. Guys, she wouldn't be a bit gas. She would literally, I can't even, we would throw a party. If I had si, I would cry with joy. Babe, I do think that you're a bit misguided.

I don't think I am. I do. Okay, I'm misguided because I know in the first instance it'd be like, whoa, locked process. And also. Shagging without my knowledge. Why are there other people existing that share half my DNA? Sure, I'd have to come to terms with that, but then I think I'd be thrilled. It depends, my actual thing, what if you, what if they were, you know, not very nice?

What if you didn't get on or like, I don't know, I think maybe sometimes when people like, if you've, I think in your head, not you or Celia, like just people. I think people think in their head like in these situations, which you know, obviously is few and far between. But I think maybe you think, oh, it's going to be like happy families and we're going to have like an amazing sibling relationship and like it's going to be all the things I thought it would be. And then it might not be that and that might actually be like the disappointment of that is also like a weight to bear. Yes, but sometimes, like, I don't know, maybe you don't need the relationship with them. It's just nice to know that there. No, no, that is true. Someone shares some of your DNA. Honestly, you don't know that. From fucking what Linda was saying. The other day, there is a possibility.

Come on. Where are they all? Your dad's old as well. He's lived alive. Surely. Surely. He was in his 50s when he met my mum. What are you doing that whole time?

Do you know it's amazing that his sperm actually managed that? Me? Yeah. I know. That is honestly amazing because the quality of sperm at 50 is not good. What a man. I do. What a man.

I don't like to think about the velocity of which his sperm leaves his body, but alas, here I am. Do you think the sperm still does leave his body? I wonder whether old men still have sperm in their spunk. I don't know. Do they still spunk? I don't know. It must be like, you know, like a thimble. That is viral

Anyway Get on ancestry Good luck Good luck And let us know I need to know I need to know Your poor mom

Bastard Sorry The thing about the hospital Being in hospital Like that is fucked But I mean is that you can come And bring some flowers And some like you know

Snacks But the thing is as well If he's a piece of shit To be honest You don't want his energy in the room To him being there Would be absolutely no help This is why I have, like, I, you know, people amongst the people that I have most respect for on this earth are single mothers.

Amen. Like, they are honestly, like, strong ass, like, warriors, they are. And I just think fucking kudos to you. Warriors or warriors? Warriors. I think the pronunciation is the same and I often think that's, that's, you know, confusing. Warriors. How do you say worry?

I would say worry. Are you American? Worry. I worry. Don't worry. worry. Yeah, I wouldn't say that. Why are you American something?

I would worry. I've always said worry. Worry? Worry, don't worry. How do you say computer? Computer. How do you say computer? Computer.

Computer. My mom always put the piss out of me for that. Computer? Computer. Computer. Do you say come or com? Is the com? Lots of com?

Or no com in an old man? It's a thimble. Fine. Let's... Move this on. Okay, it's time for the galley gossip. We love the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip.

We have had a voice note from a galley who has some dating tips for me. OMGD. Oh, she needs all. She needs them all. Go. Hi, Ali and G. Hi, Queen. Ali, congratulations.

Thanks, Queen. Woo! Woo! That's that for you. We do. We do. We do. We do.

G. Hey. I have some dating advice for you. Let's get it. So I was on the tube the other day. You know when you're on the tube and you see a really hot guy and you're like, that's so sad because I'm probably never going to see them again. Yeah. Well, I've always had this fantasy where I would like write down my number and like slip it to them as they got off the tube.

But I was on the tube the other day and I was such a really hot guy. And we started talking and we were talking like right till the end of the line and again. off at the same stop. So he got off at Brickston and he was like, oh, are you doing anything after this? Shut up. I'm like, going to go home. He's like, oh, like, why don't we go for a drink? And I was like, yeah, sure, I'd love that. So we go for a drink. Ended up getting in at like 3am. I had a great night. I'm done. And I was telling him and I was like, I've always had this fantasy about like slipping a guy in my number. And he was like, oh my God, that's so hot. And so I think I'm going to start doing that more

And I'm going to make a conscious effort To bring my journal and a pen And I think you should it too Because I think it's great times can be had Wow Sis, where is Tube Man now? That's what I want to know You had a great night together

Is he just gone, gone with wind? That is amazing I've said this before We've often sat opposite Fitmen When? I'm yet to see a Fit Man in London No, we've been together when there have been two Fitmen

on two separate occasions I mean, listen, it's not a good going. About how much we get the tube? Do you know what I mean? Okay, I did think this today because I was autopilot getting here. I did not take my eyes off my Kindle. I literally just even like when I was running it. Because I know this at the back of my hand.

I'm manoeuvring my head down in my Kindle. I did think. You can be missing a lot out there, sis. You're not looking alive. You're not looking at what's in front of you. Also, we came in earlier today. That was prime rush hour. There could have been some fit men there.

Okay, okay. Listen, I will endeavor. You don't need to bring a journal and a penny. You just need to have them written out ready. Oh, for God's sake, really? Like a business card. Use those ones your dad printed off that we never use. He kills me.

Okay, I could do it. It feels a bit extra to have remade pieces of paper with my number on. I feel we should trial it once. Come on, it'd be a good story. Okay, I can do it once if they're fit enough. The problem is, and I hate to say this, but often fit on the tube does not translate to, you know, anything else. I know, and I really struggle to, like, find people attractive just, like, in those moments.

That's why I think where you're going wrong. That's why you're struggling with hinge. That's why I need to do it for you. Because you need to be... Because I'm pansexual. That's the problem. I don't know what it is. I just think...

I need to know you to want you. She needs to catch a vibe. I need to feel your energy. I think maybe that's, you know, preventing you from just appreciating nice things. Yeah. But then like, like, no one even eye fucks me on the tube. I'm not even getting eye fucked.

I don't think people do that anymore. I think people think that's a form of harassment. I genuinely don't. The fucking boasts say it is. I know. Those posters are a cop. block. The posters, you see the posters, and I'm sorry,

I know this controversial, but you see the poster and they're like, you know, staring is harassment and I think, listen, brother, you're not wrong because in certain situations, it is harassment to be stared at like that, but eye fucking not harassment, two different things. Staring and I fucking, everyone needs to understand the difference. This is a problem, that's what I'm saying to you.

If I'm looking at you reciprocating your eye contact, that is fucking and that's fine. How would you say, what do you think the difference is between staring and eye fucking? Staring is, I'm like this, catch your eye, I look down, I never want to look at you again and you're still like this, that's staring. Harassment. I'm fucking, I look up.

Whoa, sexy, okay. And then I don't look away and then I might look away and then I might look back. Okay, yeah, that was my eye fucking. Whereas harassment is this and I'm desperately trying to evade your awful gaze. Yeah, I do think TFL have not done much for the single community.

They need a tease and sees. They need a very clear teas and sees at the bottom. I agree. And that's why, because you, I agree that people, I used to get, even I, you know, an old hackett of witch like me. They clock that ring. No, I fucking will be happening now as this. What?

You've got no chance. I know. I know. It's sad. Let it go. Let it go. Watch me now get done for harassment on the online because I'm eye fucking everyone. Now, listen, I just think harassment, I agree.

We need a little, like, subsection. I'm going to take my bio, stop writing on those pastes. Tell everyone the difference. Fuck the posters. Start writing on your journal and handing out your number. I've got actually a notepad with me. today. You never know what happened on my own. Actually, I will make this happen once. Because imagine, imagine how good it would be. You have to obviously write your name otherwise

they'll just think like a perp, put their number in their jacket. You've got to also have some real confidence. I've got to fake that till I make that. But they don't need to know. Yeah, but to go up to them and to be like, drop it on their lapitiously. I'm not going to try and slip it in their pocket like I'm pickpocketing them. Not Oliver fucking twist. I'm not going to go up to them and find their back pocket and just a slight of hand. I thought that was the vibe, yeah. I think you go up and you just, just like drop on their hat and go, then you walk away.

Right. Definitely, okay. That, that's her husband. That, you'll get done for that. Okay. The kiss in the wing was really bad. Okay, fine, fair enough. I won't do the kiss on the wing,

but I do think you have to show them, you're handing them your number, don't you? I don't know. I don't know. What if they look at you? Because you're touching their fucking pocket. I think you're stealing their phone. Phone theft is rife.

You're a muscle. Okay, well, we will, you know, be on that. Thank you, babe. That's really good and really hopeful. Well done for doing that. Amen to you. Someone's got to do it.

Someone's got to be on the streets, actually, you know, getting a shag. Okay, if you want to get involved in next week's galley gossip, send us a DM on Instagram, or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. Right. This is what we loved and didn't love from this episode. What we loved seeing Stephen Mulhern in the flesh

and standing a mere foot away from him. We were closer than a foot, babe. I almost fucking walked into him. Jealous. Um, loved saying what you think. To be honest, I do love that because what I don't like. Disclaimer in the privacy of your own home. Thank you.

Disclamer and also, you know, disclaimer to, you know, mask. But what I don't like is fake bitches. Fine. I hate when you know someone is being disingenuous and they're saying things that they don't mean. I actually hate that more. Yeah, yeah, yeah, fair. Are you fucking on the tube, love, let's bring it back. It's out of vogue, let's get it back in.

Let's start harassing. I'm joking. Love to ancestry DNA. to be honest. You can find your siblings when you need them. Why have we... So I've said this before

and I'll say this again. We... Ancestry DNA where are you? Do you do a finger prick? It's blood. Is it blood? I was just thinking I did mine this morning. Not ancestry. Sexual health London.

It's blood. It must be a lot of blood. It can't just be the... Maybe it's not even blood. No, it's sliver. Just saliva. Well, that's easy. Okay, let's do it.

Both of us. Come. Oh, yes. Make a TikTok. You never know. You just never know. Things we didn't love. Me having microbangs and it not looking like a cunty fringe, it just looking really bad.

Yeah. That was not good for me. Didn't love shit dads. Hate shit dads. Didn't love TFL for being a cop-block. Didn't love. Loved people watching at the BAFTAs. Loved P&O for inviting us to the BAFTAs.

Love. Loved our whole team for turning it around in 48 hours. Amen. Let us know what you loved or hated in this app by commenting on Spotify, YouTube or wherever you are listening. If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-6179792. Or you can click the link in the episode description. You can also, if you're shy, send us an email at hello at leaveamessagepod.com.

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