Leave A Message with Ally & G - Creeping on Your Ex, Micro Kings and Buying Viagra on a Date?!

Episode Date: January 28, 2026

We’ve hit a new low at Leave A Message HQ. G has been in full detective mode, stalking her ex’s new girlfriend, and yes, she’s even figured out where she lives. Meanwhile, Ally is serving relationship goals with her top-tier tips for surviving long-distance love.Plus, one Gally had a date that ended in Viagra (not quite the happy ending she was manifesting) while another Gally caught her ex cheating… via EMAIL?!FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello! You have reached Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you've been asked to peg your situation shit, or your hinge date has a red light ticket in his bedroom. Babe, what's there? Well, I've got many things to tell you this week, and I know, right.

Okay, before I get attacked for saying, for being told that this is boring. No, sorry, I actually do you want to retrieve that statement because I think I really enjoyed it at the time. So I call G, Sunday morning, she's making her pancakes, I said, babe. She said, what babe? I said, you're never going to believe this.

She said, oh my God, go on. I said, I've now discovered that you can make a filter for all of your WhatsApp that you can group together so they're all under one list. It's called a list. It's a list. A WhatsApp list.

Because do you know what? I probably genuinely have 50 WhatsApp groups relating to Ali and G. Limited. And I'm just like, I'm trying to find stuff. I'm like, I can't ever fucking find anything. No, God bless. When I was trying to find that picture from Zoe James makeup, I was there days. Day. I thought, I've lost a day of my life trying to find this WhatsApp group. Right. So now, I made this list, Ali and G Limited. It's like a folder. It's exactly that. But say work, you could have list work. You'd click on work. It would be every single audio always WhatsApp group you have. So then you'd, you'd, you'd, you'd,

none of your personal shit is getting murky in the waters of what's up. And if you need to find something, you can go to your work list. You could have, sis, a hinge list and you could be like, okay, any of the boys, because I don't save their numbers until they mean something to me. So they could all just be there. Exactly. So they could all just be in that list. And then I could be like, oh, wonder if that, you know, guy that I messaged six months ago is still keen for a drink. Go on the list, find his number select. You can also, like, I made a favourite

so it's like people that you text because like there are lots of people that I text regularly but they get all lost in all the shite that I have on there. So it's like you were all like all my boring people. Basically yeah. My mom. Do you know who I should have a list for?

Like duty, duty girl like your nan. My nan, my auntie. Roger. The guy that lives downstairs. That's my downstairs neighbor. Yeah, I should have that. my dutiful list. And then, you know, on admin Monday, perhaps. Right, so this is the other update.

So Al and I this year really trying to get a bit, you know, serious about... Listen, guys, we're... Quantity of work. Well, and also, we're running a business. I don't know it doesn't fucking look like it. Exactly. And we need to pretend like we are. Like, you know, you're not out here seeing Grace Bev doing fuck all with her day.

Grace Bev is blocking every... That girl blocks a toilet break. Did you see last night she blocks her bedtime? Goodness. goodness gracious, it's a bit restrictive for me but what we have tried to do is follow a bit of a kind of school timetable system

but it's like, imagine like sick form or like college, like it's like, it's like school but it's also like there's free periods. Lots of free periods. Many free periods but we basically on a Monday we've got, Monday calls. Monday calls. Monday morning always calls. And then we've got like this would be like study room I guess.

It's admin Monday. Admin Monday. It's prep. It's homework. Exactly. I have to say yesterday it was our first admin Monday. I despised every minute of it. There was much admin to do on Admin Monday.

I thought, I've got admin coming out my admin. When those expenses came through, I thought, do you know what? I'm done. Oh no, bet guys. Gee, right. So if you don't know, we have this thing between us that we're captains of different things because it's really easy. You could do this in a relationship.

Well, didn't it come from that? Yeah, kind of. Well, it came from a woman on TikTok saying that you should do this. in your relationship, but we just, obviously, this is my, you know, most prevalent relationship in my life. So I was thinking about the whiteboard, but yeah, go on. Oh, no, that's a different thing. Sure. So basically, captaincies is like, you're, you're responsible for different things in your, like, ours is about work, but it could be in your relationship. So, like, for example, I'm captain of Instagram, G's captain of TikTok. I'm captain of Trello, which is this, like,

workspace, we have G's captain of expenses. It doesn't mean you have to do it. It just means you're responsible for remembering that it needs to be done. So like she'll text me and be like, sis, there are 55 undone expenses on zero. Could you go and have a look? That's not my job to know that. Do you know what I mean? That's my job to know that. Or like even if it's TikTok, then I would ask Al to post. So I'm not doing the job. I'm just making sure the job gets done. Vice Lerso. She wants a dump done. This girl. You best should be calling you. She'll be saying where are the pictures with a dump? I text Hali and Fran yesterday saying where are the pictures? You were very serious on that call. I'm not joking.

Energy is nice. I like it. Get shit done. I was thinking that last night. I'm liking it. And also last year we did this for two weeks. We're not going to do that this year. No, this year we're serious. Did you pack your tripod? Yes. Yes, I did. Good. So yeah, that's it basically. That was admin Monday. That was admin Monday. Can I tell you about what happened to me at the weekend? Please. Just quickly. I've been in a whole of my ex's new girlfriend. I literally, she's living rent free in my mind. And it's giving Purvey because she's so young. I've, Does she even post? Are you not going back and looking at the old same stuff? I did look at some of the videos I've already seen many times. Yeah. And then I looked at the new one a few times because I had to keep pausing to see if it was, in fact, my ex's foot in the video.

I know it was. I've confirmed it was. And then that picture, I looked at that picture. I honestly, on Saturday night I was in alone, I had this picture up watching industry. I don't know what was happening there, like craziness. I wasn't even engaged because I was looking at this picture of my ex, his new girlfriend, all his friends that I was just zooming in on his face.

Like, wow. He doesn't look great. He's put on way. I think it suits him. You want to talk about getting old. He's not aging gracefully. He's aging haggardly. Tell me again.

Do you know how he's keeping young? Dating young women. She must be 24 max. Can I be honest? I actually think as a man that wouldn't keep you, like, okay, superficially maybe keeping you young. But I think inside it would make you feel like, oh my God, I'm so old. She's like posting on TikTok.

Yeah. He doesn't even have TikTok. Precisely. Do you know what I mean? It's just not right. You're a 38-year-old man. I actually don't know how old he is. I can't do the mask that quickly.

Yeah, 38. 37? 8. 37, 38. He could be touching 30. You're touching 40 is all I need to tell you, brother. And she must be. Sorry, I'm so passionate about it.

But she... I'm just fascinated. Also, the fact they're still together. You know, they got together two minutes after we broke up. Well, this was my main thought. When you sent me that, my first immediate response was, that is shocking to me. I thought she was a flash in the pan. As did I.

You didn't like a long distance. from me, I've figured out where she lives. She lives in Europe. She's a flight away, brother. Do what I mean? You could get a train to me. You could drive down the bloody M4. Well, sorry, I don't mean

this is not even specifically about him. It just goes to show. I say this often about like men with their first and second wives. If they wanted to, they would. It's not about the person always. It's about what they want in the moment. Well, it's not actually about them as a, it's not about him. It's about who he's with.

Yeah. Like I think that about like a lot of my friends who, have friends' parents who like, I'm thinking about one person in particular who with his first wife he was an absolute asshole like wouldn't genuinely wouldn't bend over and pick up a pen on the floor for her second wife fucking out have whatever you want

I will literally fly across the world for you like it's not about I do often think it's about the woman really I really do actually I'm amazing so why would you have done everything for me because I think that he because she's younger I'm really blonde Why is she so platinum blonde? It's annoying me.

I'm going to go blonde. I was literally, I was about to text her for work. Babe, you're blonde. No, I'm not blonde enough. No, no, no, no, no. No, babe, right, no, no, no. Let's bring this back. We're not going to do this.

No, no, no, no. I was literally about to text Sophia. Be like, cool Dean. Get Dean on the blur of Monday morning morning. I think the opposite. I think you need to go bronder. Blonder? Yeah.

Wow. We're not doing that, babe. Do you want to be her? It was only for a second. Do you want to be her? No, I didn't. On a reel, do you want her life? No.

Right. So why do you want to be blonder? You want to be bronter. What I want to do is get bronter. But for a second I did think, will I message him and be like, really? You're still together, are you? And what would that do for you? Don't know.

Nothing. Probably that's why I didn't do it. Are you hung up on this ex? I'm hung up on you. It's so weird because she's... I'm hung up on the fact that he like doesn't want to be with me, I guess. But why does that... Do you want to be with him?

No. Right. Right. So why does that... That's an ego thing, babe. If I can't have you know. Nobody else will. No, no, I'm not. I just think sometimes it's so weird

when they don't exist to you and then suddenly they do. Basically, what I've done is I've unfollowed everyone from our life together. I see nothing of him apart from this one friend because she does content

that I quite enjoy and also I know they'll see each other like maybe once a year and I'm just keeping a toe in. Well, I agree. His wedding, I will like to see those pictures and I know she'll post, she's a good girl.

Obviously. I know she knows I'm watching and I know she's doing it for me. Thank you, Queen. So yeah, I just think, no, it was so funny because I did, like, for a sex viral and then I woke up and I was fine and you told me about WhatsApp groups.

I thought I'm away. Couldn't care less anymore. Well, thank God. Back in WhatsApp lists. Yeah. Yeah, I just think, like, it's an easy, it's an easy rabbit hole to go down. Isn't it?

And just, when you just remember, babe, this is your life. Do you want, do you, if you want to trade places with her, by all means. Go, go dye your hair blonde and text him. Oh, yeah. I don't want to do that. You don't want to do that.

I actually don't want to do that. You actively chose to not do that. I know. And that was a good choice, babe. So toxic of me. I broke up with him. No, that's okay. I'm the same.

It's like, well, like, you know, I'm the best thing that ever happened to you. So why are you not suffering in hell? Why are you not texting me once a month just to check in to see if I want you back? Because it has been like almost two and a half years now. I know and they're still together.

Yeah. Don't worry. What? But babe, babe, three years seems to be his Mac. So don't worry. Three and nine. He's in the bag and then he'll be done. Okay, fine.

Yeah, yeah, good to know. Anyway, I'm obsessed with her, so that's good. That's good. Sometimes you've got to allow yourself a little look. Oh, then you've got to stop. More than a little look. I agree. No, also, well, this is like what they say about the worry window.

Yes. Like gorge, like binge. I did binge on her. Yeah. And now I won't think about her again. It's so bad. When you come out and you like come to, you know, she's so gross.

Because you're like that is so weird. I've just sat watching that video on repeat. I don't think that's weird. I don't think that's weird. I think that's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

For the new lamb listeners, we're going to do a bit of a law rundown. This is Izzy's idea, which we love. Because I'm new guys, so I feel like I'm not caught up on the law and you keep dropping names and I don't know who these people are. I'm sorry.

Fair. And we expect everyone to be abreast about our lives, but why would they be? I wish I was, though. Well, let's get abreast. Come on. This is time to get abreast. Okay, first question, how did you guys meet?

Well, what a story. What a love story. What a love story, it was. It was after COVID. Was it 20? Tail end, just at the tail end, yeah. Yeah, and we both were working separately trying, I was working at the BBC,

I was working as a private tutor and we were both doing like freelance work in presenting. And we both went to this open day for Riverside Radio, which I recall, was it quite like, what do you recall? I feel like it was quite hard to get into. It was, it was. It was. It was exclusive.

Yeah, if you're looking for that experience, just like shout out at Riverside, we give them so much free press. I'm going to start charging. Jason, Rosam. I'm going to start ringing him and being my listen, brother. Anyway, we went to this open day and you know when you walk into a room like that

might be like you need a job and you just see that one person that you think, oh yeah, cool. At least she's here. Yes. At least her and I can be on a level. And we both have that, I believe. Yeah, that too.

And we left that day and we both spoke about each other. I remember going home to Pory Piot, my boyfriend, who I've been with forever. But I remember going home and being like, there was this really cool girl there and I really think we could be friends. And I remember, I say this all the time. I remember two tea what she was wearing. It was the camel trench coat, the browns are a sock boot and this like little machino like bum back. And she had like bright red hair. And I thought, you are cool.

I was cooler when I was ginger. such a shame. Maybe we'll do that again. I don't agree. Oh, I did love the copper though. That's one hair colour I could get behind. I do think, sorry this is a detail but I really think you should go dark. Nye just confirmed for me. But she's gone copper. No, she's now, she's gone again. She's gone. The picture you saw the other day, she is brunette. I thought she looked ginger in that picture. I said to her, you need to go again. Bit shamed dark. I agree. I agree. She could go one shade. But babe, she used to be your colour and she's dark. She looks so much better. God, that would be a real identity.

I think, I don't think you need to go quite as dark as that, but I do think you could go darker. Okay, let's put it on the agenda. Anyway, Al snaked me and got a radio show with this other guy because I went, I was dragged, kicking and screaming, skiing by my ex-boyfriends. With this same ex-boyfriend. Who threw me off the side of a mountain. I don't ski.

He taught me to ski. It was all downhill from there, to be honest. That was the start. Start this relationship at the end of my other one. I don't. Honestly, skiing was the end of the... No, I do think skiing you need to be five years in. Min.

Skiing is not a good holiday for brand new couples. Especially when they're teaching you. He was my teacher. No, no. It's also, but even if they're not teaching you, men think that they're better at you than you. Physical shit. He was arguably better. Like, no problems there.

No, no, I'm just saying in general, like skiing is just, yeah. It's a recipe for breakup. Skiing is that I could do a whole podcast episode on how I don't understand skiing. But anyway, then one day, your co-host, I think I'm. I got another show, you got another show. I text out. Were you doing that breakfast show? Yeah.

Oh yeah, go on. So I had text her because I'm just like that. I'm keen. That's also like true to form of our relationship. G would always text first. Yeah, I'm not asked. I will shoot my shot every time with everyone. Yes.

I'm the black hat and she's the golden retriever. Yeah. And anyway, because we'd like had this, we were like, oh, I was like, I'd love to go for a coffee, like just chat about what you're doing and la la la la. And anyway, then one day her co-host was six. So she was like, well, you come in and do the show with me. And you know, legend,

has it. Both of our mums were listening on Alexa or whatever. Why that matters, I don't know. And afterwards, text us both separately to say, wow, you two had really good chem. So anyway, then we moved mountains to basically leave our other shows and get a breakfast show together. So then we were, whilst we were doing all of our other stuff, we were going in, it was only once a week, but those three hours we went together once a week were quite. Well, they were so intense because it was so early and there's nothing to do. Like, you literally sit in a studio and just talk and talk and talk and talk and then I don't know, we just sort of like

we were talking about how much we both wanted to be in the industry and what we were both doing and something must have happened, I can't really remember but we basically were like, it was at the time where like, I mean, it's the same now, but if you want to get into this industry, you have to be making your own content. Like, you can't just be, it's not like the old days

where you just go in and you pitch a CD. Like you have to be showing that you have ideas and that you can do something off your own back. Yeah, because I think I remember speaking to someone at work at the BBC and they were like, well, what have you got to show? Yeah. And I remember thinking I could not do that alone. I couldn't think of what to do.

So then I think we just, like, would we try together? OBS. So we started like thinking about how we could make it visually. What was it visually arresting? You said it had to be. And we like film this thing in the, I know, first we actually started just doing TikTok. I think we did just start chatting like literally in your kitchen, in my kitchen. But I don't think we had a shared TikTok at that time

Or maybe we did We did, that was the... Oh wait. Well, were we just like calabbing or something? You're right. Sorry, drive-through came first. Drive-through did come through us because then we thought we best have one place to post this.

Yeah, so we started... We literally got a GoPro and stuck it to like the windscreen of my Audi A-1 and we filmed this pilot that we'll never see the fucking night of day because we look like two like yobbs. We do. What is a yaw? I remember, babe, we had like no makeup, greasy hair. like not just slacks and relaxed.

Like you were wearing this like t-shirt but you had no bra. And I was classic. And I remember sending it to my mom. I still had hairy pits then. And she was like, would you not make more of an effort? Yeah, I remember your mum saying you need to look like you care. And we were like, oh yeah. So anyway, we started, we just like literally started filming drive-thew.

That's how it all came about. It was purely to have something as a reference to send to people. And then people kind of like to. And we were like, oh, well, we just put this on TikTok, cut this up for TikTok. Then we started TikTok, started posting the cutdowns, started doing those videos, like, in your kitchen, in your bedroom. And then, honestly, we signed with management, like, really, really early. We had 4K on TikTok. Yeah.

Yeah. And then that was like two, three, I don't know how many years ago that was. Many years. And then we were basically enabled from then on. Yeah. Because then it was like, right, okay, we can do this for a job. Let's go. and then we both left our jobs full time

for the first time this last round. So for a full year we've been doing this full time. Yeah, sick. And can I say the podcast leave a message came about to be honest, because I was lazy. We were getting all these DMs. Well, because she's captain of DMs. Captain of DMs, yeah.

So we were getting all these stories, all these girls wanting advice and I couldn't keep up, to be honest. And then we had this idea of having, the voice notes and having their actual voices in the podcast. And now, you know, a year later, here we are. Here we are. Heaven. So yeah. That's how we met.

But that is how we met and we always say we're the couple that moved in together after two weeks because when we decided that we were going to do this together, like we signed shareholders agreement, we had a joint bank account, like we did everything joint really quickly. We're literally married. We are. I'm kind of obsessed with that. Yeah.

So how old were you only met? I think 24. 23. You were 23 and I was 24, yeah. Oh, I love that you can make. 24, 25, I can't remember. I don't know. Well, this is what we always say is that, like,

I think it's really hard as well if you've been, if you've come out of uni and you feel like a bit, I definitely felt this way, like, you're floating and you don't, lots of people have like a really strong group from uni and neither of us had that. And like, it's so reassuring. Like, we can be your poster girls for the fact that you can meet your best friend, the maid of honour, the, like, godmother to your children.

And it doesn't, you don't have to be 21. You could be 35 and meet that person. and like, you know. Especially when you're working a bit more like freelance or a little bit more like you're not sure where you're going because I know even like our friends now that are our age make a lot of their friends at work. A hundred percent.

A workplace. Yeah. Because we were just like, you know. Funning around. Really all over the shop. God bless. Yeah. Sorry, I just wanted to pick up on the fact that you called your boyfriend,

your partner of nine years, Pory Piat. And the story behind that is that he obviously has a real name that doesn't sound like that. But whenever we talk about people, our real lives that we, you know, think deserve privacy. Well, we don't think they deserve it. They think they deserve it. Let me just correct you there because we went through a period of full naming everyone

and everyone was like, I'm entitled to my private life. Yeah, like I would speak about like the boy I lost my virginity to and then I had to call him Polly Pinter. Because like obviously we can't be full naming him. We can't be full naming him. Even if you knew him, you would obviously know who that was. But our boyfriend is Paury Piat. If you're an OG galley, obviously you will know his full name.

Oh, sure. And I'm sure everyone. knows because he like even when we like tag him on Instagram and stuff oh yeah well also did you see that story from yesterday because obviously I'm logged in as him on teams and everyone was like oh my god loll you haven't even changed his name yeah yeah so you know it's no secret it's not a secret it's just that's how we refer to people who I guess you know want like a letter of privacy on them one letter that's all you get from us and where did you meet him we we've been together coming up to years.

It's mad. It's mad. Imagine. It's mad. It's really, like if you really sort of think about it, it's actually a bit weird. Well, it's just like, with many years. And when you think about the iterations of yourself that you've been throughout that time. Exactly.

That's why it's weird because it's like, I am, I feel like a totally different person to the person. We met when I was just 21. And do you know what I mean? Like, I was a different person. Like in every, obviously. And you were still at uni? We, yeah, just started second year. So we did like, he went to Newcastle.

I went to Bristol. We did like long distance for the best part of two years. We met because I went travelling to Australia on my gap year. And I met like one of my friends there, Panabelle. And she also went to Newcastle. And I remember in our like first week of freshers, like so a whole year earlier from when we met, she was like oh there's this because we'd been on holiday and she had had all these pictures of me and her on her wall and she was like oh there's this guy on my course that really fancies you and I was like cool and like obviously

haven't got to clear who this guy is and anyway then a whole year later me and her were at the pub and she had obviously texted being like oh I'm going to the pub with that girl if you want to like come for a drink anyway we literally that was it like we met once and then we started dating but like it was really weird because it was Christmas holidays and then you know we both went back to uni but like we just sort of did it I don't know it was like also we moved really like I do move relatively fast like it was all happened quite

fast and then yeah now we are nine years in so yeah did you find a man that was gonna do a long distance relationship like that was remember well this is what I always think is that like honestly we never even talked about it like it wasn't even a topic of conversation we just did it I remember when we first met I was with my ex and we were long distance.

And I remember you were like kind of the poster girl to me because you had done it, been through it and you had so much advice on how to like actually maneuver it. And I think it's because it was just like, you both had just decided to be together so then you do what you, because I remember saying to Al, I was like, I cannot text the boy anymore. I hate it.

I can't be asked to her phone call. And she was like, thing is you can't hate the text because the text is your, like, vehicle to him. And, like, the text is, like, a part of your relationship. So you should, like, want to be doing the texting. And then from then on, I was like, oh, yeah, slow. Okay. Well, I think with long distance, the thing is, like, it really, I really think this.

It only works if there is an end date, like, a tangent. Even if that end date is three years away, ours was two. If it's, like, this never-ending thing, it's obviously not going to work because, like, someone at some point has to make a sacrifice. Yeah. But, yeah, I have much advice on long-distance. I also really think, like, I know G doesn't think this, but I personally think it can be a really, really healthy thing

for couples to do at some point in their relationship because I think, like, I'm so, I really didn't enjoy my uni experience. Like, I just had a really, like, horrible time. But I'm really glad we didn't go to the same uni because I think it's like that it really leans into that codependency. And like, I think especially at uni, the whole point is to figure out who you are, and not who you are in your relationship.

So anyway, here we are nine years in. We've lived together like five years now. Oh my gosh, sleighs. Yeah. Heavy sleigh. And finally, sorry, who is Holly? So Holly, Holes doesn't get a pseudonym because she is what she is. Holly is also sadly a name.

Holes is my best friend from Forever. We went to school together and we lived together. And we have also lived together now for about five years. And we're both single. So she is, for want of a better phrase, my partner, outside of this partnership. But she's hilarious because her and Pory are both the same in the fact that they low-key hate this.

No, they love, they were both listening to our home to BBC Radio London on a Sunday. Sorry, no defamation. They'll never listen to this, so don't worry about it. No, they wouldn't listen on the rag, the important stuff. No, but they are so incredibly supportive. Yes. And, you know, we really seriously would not be able to do anything without the two of them.

And we have, like, we've made this, we're the board, you know. We're like this, this unit. It's really amazing that, like, it's not a given that they would get on. No. Or that rule would actually choose to spend time with three girls. Yeah. But it's really, like, we've made something really special the four of us. But yeah, they don't, like, they're not gasping for the attention.

We're desperate. We're like, would you at least get on the vlog? No. No. The only way you can just about get them on the vlog is if a meal or something. free. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's the crew. Oh, I love that. Thanks, guys. I think that's all my questions. But yeah, if the galleys have any questions for you, send us the DM. Please. Leave a message pod. Yeah, and also follow leave a message pod.

Please, everyone. Please. Thank you. Thank you. We're going to have a quick outbreak and then join us in part two for the main event, your galley voice notes. Hello galleys. Welcome back. Okay, what should we call the galleys this week?

Nicola. Okay. Right. Obviously, Nicola, we haven't even spoken about it. Well, if you haven't seen it, you're a week late. Did you see Lily Allen's thing? No. So she's redone her album cover as Brooklyn Beckham. Because, like, obviously her album was this whole, like, tell-all, like, break the internet network.

And she's now done it for Brooklyn. Because he has broken the... the internet and it's only what the like 29th of Jan? Also, it's not even. Am I okay? I was going to say he's so smart because he literally dropped it just in time for the papers to pick it up the following morning.

Like it wouldn't have had the same effect if it was like midday. It was literally as papers were going to print like he knows what he's doing. Also he's written that in his notes up. Baby and past it. No, well also a lawyer's clearly written that. Shut up. A thousand percent. I thought it was very colloquial.

Exactly. That's what lawyers do. Wow. Babe, the Peltz are worth like billions and billions of pounds. You think they're just going to be letting Brooke and Beckham

just post his fucking thoughts for all to see. Unfiltered. I think it's giving that he's had a little bit of a nervous breakdown. Oh no, no. I don't.

I think it's giving seriously thought out. I, the first thing I thought when I read that is he's been sitting on this for months. We were literally all messaging

each other like imagine Beckham Palace. Imagine being Vicky B right now. They are going to be running around PR team on the blower, lawyers on the blower. They'll have had

their crisis team there overnight. They're camping out. Al said something so good. She was like, the main problem here is mothers and sons. What is wrong with mothers and sons? We need to do a TikTok about this. It's not your boyfriend. Let go.

You can't dance with him at his wedding, okay? Like, on it. Hands off. Listen, I'm not a mother or a son, so I can't relate. Sure. But I do think if that's ever me, honestly, someone just like just smack me in the face the chair. Like seriously. If I'm ever behaving that way, I honestly hope you come up to me,

you say, sis, you need to go and see a psychologist because that's not right. You need some serious medical intervention. Why you so pressed? Yeah, why are you pressed? Let him live. Let him. Also, she's an idiot. Sorry, I don't, I actually fucking love Victoria Beckham. Like, I just want to preface, but I think she's a fucking icon. I really, really rate her. That style of motherhood is just not for me. I'm not sure. sure as well that she did come across that well in the dock. I haven't actually seen the full dock.

Her and David, there is just something funny, something of a fishy going on there. But like we all know what's fishy. They're a brand. Yes, I know. It would be like me and you hating each other and still showing up every day for work. That is basically their relationship. But then don't do a behind the scenes tell all. Because they're trying to peddle you

the bullshit. I won't be peddled. I will not be peddled. The problem is, you won't, but the majority of the population will. You can't watch them interact with each other and think pedal away because they look. Oh, they look like, you know, robots. No, no, I know. They're not right.

This is what I think, right. I think they're a really interesting case study about marriage because I think that it's an interesting idea. Marry being a contract. Kind of. Like if we really strip it back to like what you're agreeing to, it is that. Like the basis of your whole life if you choose to marry someone is like all that you have to offer each other and they have more to offer each other whilst they're together.

Yeah. So, like, their life is amazing and beautiful because their marriage is a contract. Like, do you know what I mean? I think it's an interesting idea to be like, you can have a really successful marriage, even if you don't, like, lust after each other. And, like, it depends what your idea of success is.

But I do think that they, like, rightly or wrongly, display that for all to see every single day. Yes, although now we've learned that maybe it's a bit of a dictatorship, which isn't really so fun for the kids. Yes. you know, piece to Brooklyn Beckham, I hope he finds peace, I really do. I really do.

And I'm glad he's detached himself. I think it's good for him. Well. Anyway, sorry, that's why the galleys are called Nicola anyway, because obsessed with the drama and it will continue to unfold, I'm sure. I can't wait for the headline. Beckham's break silence over Brooklyn.

Do you think they will? They have to. They will break the silence. Do you really think? They must. And I know, well, okay, Marv, sorry, Margot is my friend. who works in like events and PSA. I always just think she's got like a little bit of intel. I bet she doesn't but I just think you're in that world, you know.

She was like, I bet they kill it with kindness. Like I bet they would be the smartest thing to do. Like we love him so, we love you so. All we've got him is love and we have tried so hard to love, love, love. Agree. That would be the smart thing to do to like humanise them. To gust like him. But yeah.

But yeah. Sure. Okay, so Nicola, we must have our whiteboards now. Oh, yes, of course. Let me just pop that there. Got many things on this challenge. There's very white, white bridge. Jesper for a wee now.

You honestly have a bladder. I know, I've been. Always. When you're all pregnant, it's going to be a nightmare. Yeah, we're going to have to carry around a Shiwi. For my sake. Hi, galleys. I have a story to tell about a first date that I once went on.

So let's bear in mind that she met this girl on Hinge, and they'd only been speaking for like a week. In this scenario, we're going to call him Little Bo Peep because he was a short king. I mean, no discrepancies to the short kings, but I myself, I'm a tall queen, standing large at 5'4 8. He came to stay. I got home and the first thing Frankie said to me in front of Little Bo Peep was, Millie, look how small he is. And then I got ready for the day and then we went out.

And then it came towards the end of the day and he asked me to be his girlfriend. And I was like, you know what? Why not? Yeah, come on then. She said why not? And then I went on his Insta to do some stalking, and I saw a story highlight that he'd made for her already. And it was titled with a white heart,

and it just had one picture of Frankie at the one and only date they'd ever been on. It turns out that we actually had to make a pit stop at the pharmacy, so he could get Viagra at his ripe age of 19. I mean, I did refuse to go in with him. And then he came out, like, 30 seconds later, after telling me that the pharmacist said he wouldn't give him any because he's too young and erectile dysfunction shouldn't be a problem for someone his age.

But anyway, after he left, that was the last time they spoke. Yeah, I had to break things off ASAP because I woke up the morning after and I was thinking, what the hell did I just agree to? That's my story, Gallies. Hope you enjoyed. We love you, Galley, so much. Bye! Oh my God, girls, that is jokes.

That is not right. That, talk about psychologists. Where's this man's psychologist? Even if someone just took a picture of me on a first date, like didn't even story highlight. I'd be like, that's odd. Because I'm famous. It's 20 pounds of picture, actually.

What do you want to follow him? Like if you tag me for a following. Hope you're going to re-share? Well, I'm not. All right. I could do with a few followers on Instagram though, so if you've got some. Listen, I love the why not motto,

guys. That's what we're living with this year. I just think we need to be smart in our application of the. motto. What she's done there is she's had the classic, you know, when you've gone on a first date and you're not sure, because something like that's happened where he's had to buy Viagra. Very

sum, what's the word? Presumptuous. Asemptuous. It's very usumpuous. Very presumptuous, number one. Presumptuous. Presumptive. Presumptuous. Presumptuous. Presumptuous, thank you. Izzy with her chest. Presumptive.

You stupid bitches. get a dictionary whatever the fucking word is it's assuming something that may not even be on the cards number one I don't like that I don't like that for one second I don't like it at all

at all but what she's had a case of there is the classic not being able to say thanks but no thanks right guys let's practice no but let's have a stock line because we know someone close to us that is struggling currently to say

no thank you to a second date. Why is it so hard? Here's what you say. Go on. Is this in person? Because in person is different to over text. Well, listen, I think in person is a league up. If you're the kind of girl that can finish a date and go,

I had a really nice time, but I actually don't think you're for me. Then kudos to you're amazing. But I think for us muggles, we can sit with the text. We can nicely, nicey, nicey, play along and then we've got to send the one text that says, I actually don't want to go on a second date with you. Okay, I think the text can say something like, thank you so much for such a nice time the other day

it was so great to meet you stock guys we're going like honestly like vanilla this is honestly like keep it in your notes that copy and paste I should be writing it down I don't want to give you the wrong idea so I don't think we should go on a second day something like that basically like you can blame yourself but you don't need to say I don't fancy you're not fit

you can just say something like I don't want to fancy you you want to be with a guy that can get it up. You don't need to say that. Sure. Even if you're thinking that. Yeah. I think you can just say something like,

I really don't want to give you the wrong idea and need you on. So I think it's best that we don't go on a second date. That was good. Kiss. One kiss is all it takes. And genuinely keep that and you know it's copy and paste. Many times, a hundred times you could do that.

Yeah. I just do like, you know, appreciate the girls that like can't do it in the moment because I am loved them. Oh, 1,000%. Also, I know a lot of my dates. Even the ones that I'm not asked about will think I love them. I'm very giving on a date.

Maybe you need to look at that because I think that's maybe where you run into some difficulties that you find it hard to then say, I don't want to go on a second date. To back track. Because in real life, you are. Like, maybe you could tone it down a set. I've got to get a bit more black cat about me. I agree. I hate to tell you.

It's hard. It's the halfway ones. It's the guy. Some of the guys I really... Listen, you don't need to be me. Dead inside. No. But the guys I'm not interested.

Cold bitch. When I'm not interested, I am a bit that. I am a bit you. I'm indifferent. I can't even stomach a laugh. Oh, I'm not indifferent. I'm disgusted. You know, sometimes when you see people, you think, nah.

What am I doing here? Like, absolutely, no. I must leave. I'm so much better than you. That's not indifference. I don't know what I do if a guy said, let's stop at the pharmacy and get, I don't even know what if I did before I'd say. I'm going to get a Jurex.

My Uber is here, is what I'd say. I'd be like, ooh. I also think it's a really easy get out of jail free card to be like, like in that moment in the pharmacy, if you're thinking, fuck, I don't want to do this. you can just be like, I'm make an excuse. You shouldn't need to make an excuse. You actually shouldn't be put in that position. That is actually wild if we'd eat it.

But that's like stopping to get a condom. They could argue. Yeah, but has she said? Maybe they were on their way home. Okay, fine, got it. It wasn't just like midday. It's not ideal. Because you only got a drop of Viagra early doors.

I don't know how long it takes to kick in. Well, my other question is exactly, if he was that presumptuous, he should have assumed, like he should have prepped beforehand. Yeah. Like, you can't be. to buy Viagra on the fucking way home. Get it the day before. Get it on Deliveroo.

I don't really give a shit. Just get it when I'm not next to you. Get it prescribed. Like, honestly. It's that bad. You must talk on short kings. Guys, I've got much to say on short kings because Paury Pye is a short king. He would hate for me to say that.

Yeah, because that's a bit of an injustice. Because I have got friends that are like, you know, five, seven, guys. That's a short king. I would say that's a tiny king. Micro King. What is it? Starbucks, Venti King. No, the Venti's the large one. Oh, Pruey King.

To tall kit. No, what do they call it? What is it? What is it? You've been allowed to talk about Starbucks anymore. I feel like it's cancelled. Sorry. There is a smaller one than the one that they,

but it's a micro king. You've got micro king. Macro King is what I'm after. Yeah, so short king's in the middle. Sure. And then I'd say six foot is just like Ave. God bless Roar, I think he is a short king. Short king, he's definitely not a tiny game.

Problem is, if he was dating a five-foot girl, he actually wouldn't be a short king because he is 5-10. Yeah. And he is a proper 5-10. Yeah. With a little heel on. You best believe on his wedding day he'll be wearing a little heel. I said to him, we're going to have to get those extreme platform traders.

We went to salvage the other day. Yeah, did you look at some? And we went to the men's shoes section and there's his brand called Cleans. And the platform, guys, I'm not joking. Cleans. C-L-E-N-S. and the train of platform is, I'm not exaggerating two inches

and I said if you wore those you'd be six foot, buy them right now. Wow, would we best send that out to the short kings? I said it was so funny because he wanted to try the black ponds on they didn't have them in black and I said bring any, any colour you,

any colour you, honestly bright red, bring them here now. I honestly don't care. I have a few in the stock room. There must be a pair in his size. Do you know what? He'll squeeze. You binding his.

feet. Oh, he will squeeze. I'll never forget once. It was our birthday dinner. And I don't know why. Oh, yeah, those shoes. But it was like, we've both got these heels that are like, they're really good for like red carpets when your dress is too long.

But they're like, we look like his adoptive lesbian mothers. I walked in, he literally looked me up and down. He went, no. No. And I was like, I have to wear them now, Raw. I've come without any other shoes on. He was like, I don't think you can. No.

I was like, not my problem, but you're a short king. Do you what I mean? Yeah. Sorry, on a reel, I do think this whole thing about, right, less define short king because I agree, 5-7. Important, yeah. 5-7 to 5-11, I would put you in that bracket of short king. Girls aren't searching for 5-8 boys, obviously, unless you are five-foot.

Which is, and I love this, so I've got a friend. I just won't name him. But, oh no, I will, right. His name's Freddy. Freddie Parsons, hi. He is a short king. He is a short king. He is a short king.

He's a micro king. He's a micro king. How tall is he? He is a 5-8, I would say. 5-8, in my opinion, is a micro king. But God bless him and his girlfriend. I've got a lot of love for them because she is a good girl. She's five-foot dating a 5-8.

Where I take issue is my 5-foot girlies dating my 6-foot-fives. Because it's not right that. Well, you've got to save them for the taller girls, I'm afraid. This is my point that I'm trying to make. do think, listen, call me whatever you want, call me old fashion, call me a mom. I do think there has to come a limit to the fixation that girls have about height. Like, it is fucking ridiculous. On like being like small. Like 510, if you are, even if you're, I'm 5, 7, 5A and my boyfriend is 510. Like, I just think you could be missing the love of your absolute life because he's

For four inches. Do you know what I? Or two. It's ridiculous. It is ridiculous. It is ridiculous. No, I agree. Unless they are. Also, this is why I love, like, I know they're not together anymore, but like Sophie Turner and Joe Jonas. Or like Sophie Dahl and her husband, like, I really, really rate girls that actually date small, short, micro kings. Yes.

Or marry them. Yes. Because I'm like, it speaks volumes. Joel Domit and his wife. It speaks volumes to the man that he is. That no, like, it doesn't matter. Also, like. No, many things matter.

more. Genuinely, I can name you a hundred things more than that matter more than height. For real. As I always say, we're all the same height

lying down. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. Well, we have voice note number two. Hi, babes. I'm so happy you're back. We missed you so much. I've been watching

drive-thruits since season one, so I'm just really room for you both and no success. Ali, you wonder, how are you going to DJ for us? We're waiting for an event. I wanted to share a really embarrassing and outrageous way I found out my boyfriend was still cheating on me.

No! Essentially he had booked us tickets to go to Ripley's believe it or not or like Madam to son, something silly like that. And him being the type B, I was like, send me the email so I can have tickets up for us tomorrow. I don't want to fath around with inboxes tomorrow while we're there. And he was like, just have my laptop, have my email, send him to yourself. And I was like, cool. Looking on his email, I'm scrolling for these tickets.

And I find a really suspicious trial of emails used himself. were video attachments and I thought, it could be cute videos of us or our last holiday or him playing football. What could it be? So I opened them and of course they were videos of him getting blow jobs. Of course!

He achieved me with previously two different occasions, two different outfits and hairstyles in the videos. Bloody hell! Fuming, obviously it had to be that good. He had to document it, had to save it, had to send it to inbox, had to archive it. Just really jokes now, looking back.

And you know when you're an adult and I, like, how did I tolerate this nonsense and disrespect? So yeah, any young galley's listening who's been cheated on more than once, just leave him be free. Honestly, you won't regret that decision. Sis, those are words, will it, to live by. Fucking hell. Leave him be free.

Leave him be free. Why is it always emails? I was going to say, to be honest. Why is it so professional? Emails, that is a rookie, rookie mistake. Emails are hackable. Oh, for God's sake. Like, listen, obviously, don't cheat.

But if you're going to cheat, make it fucking clean. Because also, the nonsense is and the disrespect is that you were sloppy. Like, that's actually just as, well, not just as annoying as the cheating. The cheating's bad, don't get me wrong. But that is like, you lazy, lazy, disrespectful pig. Like, if you're going to do it, at least let me, like, make sure I'm never going to see it. Also, you're gross. Why do you need to document what of your little wank back disgusting?

Why do you need, that's gross. I'll tell you why it is. It's because you can't get porn hub anymore. That'll be why. I know. You've got to get on Twitter now and have an account. Have you been on porn hub recently?

You've got to put your fucking ID on there. I tried the other day and I thought my limerance is better than this. I agree. I totally agree. I don't care enough. No. To see that category. I don't need Pornhub saving my fucking driving license.

Absolutely not. Where am I going for Honour? Just here in my bed. Do you know what I mean? I don't need to be driving. Yeah, the videos for me is like, it's disgusting. It's gross. It's really, like why do you need to?

Yeah. It's bad enough that you. You were going to take me on a date at Madam Two Swords. Number one. Agree. That's actually number one problem. Number one problem. Agree.

As you should say, leave him. That's enough. Leave him be free. I just think leave him be free. She's right. She's not wrong. That's awful scenes and it's always the email inbox and it's always... Is it though?

Yes. I know many times that people have found things in the email inbox. Really? Yes. Subscriptions to things. Oh, oh yeah. Or like they're sending flowers and you're like, who are they sending flowers? Yes, and very good eyesight from her

to see that the girl had different hairstyles it's multiple occasions. You're not going to fool me, brother. Why are you videoing that? That is wild. And sending it like, that is just mad. Sending it to yourself, that is purvey on another level. That's not right.

Well, also, like, there are smarter ways to put... There are smarter places to put those videos. Put it on a fucking drop box. No one's going to see that. Put it incognito tab, please. Like, what is wrong with you? disgusting way to find out is a disgusting thing to do. Sorry, not the point, Nicola.

But I am DJing. It's on my to-do list. Well, yeah, it is the point because now she's free of him. She needs a good night out. Okay. You've been telling everyone for years, I'm going to DJ this, I'm going to DJ there. I need to get some lessons back in with my man Ben. Is that his name?

I don't know, but you need to get it, book him in. On the biz, obviously. Get it on the biz. Get that and Ray. And I want an R-O-I. That's what I'm saying, okay? Because I want to be booking gigs in the summer. Can I tell you, it's not, it's not gonna be any old gig.

Like, did you hear Olivia? I've heard this before. It's not gonna be fucking down at the fucking shipping ones were. It's got to be something. It's not. It's gonna be after party at the NTAs. That's what Olivia wants. That's what Olivia gets.

NTAs, is it? You just want to be like giving Michael McIntyre a good thing to dance soon. You know when we went to those after drinks, skip that, go straight to the decks. We're there early. We're dancing. Five hours we'll get. Decks are on. She's are off.

Yeah. I like it a lot. Okay, Nicola number one. Well, quick roundup is she goes on a date. He wants her to be his girlfriend. He buys Viagra on the way home. He says a story highlight of her and then she dumps him the next day. The round up really is to practice saying no thank you in the moment.

Or if you can't do that, over text. Very good. And Nicola number two. What does she say, leave him be? free? Yeah, leave him be free. Words to live by. Yeah, and she is supposed to girl to tell you that you're going to be okay. You can leave and you'll be fine. Actually, better off, because you don't have to be at Madam Two Swords. That's all I'm trying. I've never been to Madam Two Swords. You will not catch me

dead. Unless they make a waxwork of us, I won't be going there. Anyway, what we loved and what we didn't love from this episode. Okay, what we loved, I loved re-framing short kings. I think really genuinely think you are hindering. It's limiting. Really. It's a limiting belief. Totally. I really loved that you're going to start DJing again. Yeah. Because I've been pressuring you to do that for a while now.

Yep. I also loved leave him, be free. Things you didn't love. Things I didn't love, you spiraling and saying you can enjoy your hair blonde and text your ex. Don't need to be doing you. This is a shout out to my ex. I hope he listens. I don't know what's some other dear.

Me just like forwarding the link to this episode. Just like, I spoke about you today. Do you miss me? No, but babe, can I just say, I often think this, if only they fucking knew how much has, don't give him the pleasure of taking up that much space in your mind.

I'll tell you what, well, this is a whole other conversation, I'll save this for another day. Okay, it was to do with Esther Perel. Oh, well, my God, Esther, enough of. Bloody hell, I pay a lot of money to see that woman live again. Obviously, the finding out about the cheating via emails and, like, the videos, gross.

Gross. Can I put this back in the did love? of column, his mind is more powerful than my mouth. Words to live by. Disagree. No, don't disagree. Really? Have you ever, ever undone someone's ED with your mouth? Yes.

Sadly, it was a fate I was pushed against for many months. Oh. And you've got to persevere. Okay, but everyone can be relaxed on their mind. But a one-time thing. Down into the body. Yeah, you just got to go like a stand-up, shake it out. Oh, go on, give that little.

just doing like five rhythms tantra on a one night stuff. Do you know what I mean? It's just like a lot of acrobatics. Acrobatics, exactly, yeah. I've got places to be, brother. Where are you going? Somewhere. Where I'd have to watch you? I've got admin Monday to get to. I've got I've got a Monday to get to. I've got lists.

Okay, right, lock in. You do the first bit because you're good at this. I think Al, I think you can take Al more seriously. I don't know what it is about her tone. It penetrates. Do you think? Sometimes when you say things, I think, oh, best do that. You know, when other people, when I say things, it's a bit like take it or leave.

Yeah, fair. You say it, I think, pull my trousers up. Get on my door. Right. Okay. In which case, this is serious and we mean business. If you have a story or dilemma that only Ali and G can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-61797992.

Or click the link in the episode description. That's much easier. It will take you straight there. It's right at the top. Literally just click the link. you can also now write us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com if you don't fancy sending us a voice. This is a brand new thing we're doing as we come back as we relaunch because if there is a story that is just too juicy and you really cannot have your voice attached to it. Please email us and we will read them out.

Because I'm not joking guys. We know how many of you there are out there. If you're not following us, you better be. Okay, it's at Leave a Message podcast on Instagram and TikTok. Literally just, guys, honestly, if you never engage with a photo ever, just please, please press follow. Yes, I am, Becky, okay, and I'm thirsty because, you know, we've got a business to run. This is 20, we're shaking shit up around here, all right? It's serious.

We're standing on business. Yeah. Okay, love you. Bye. Bye now.