Leave A Message with Ally & G - G’s Date SENT US A VOICE NOTE!! & I’m Moving In With My Ex!?

Episode Date: October 7, 2026

We’ve only gone and got a VOICENOTE LIVE FROM G’S DATE… 👀G has been on yet ANOTHER date with a fan, but this time he’s gone one step further and sent us a review LIVE FROM THE DATE. Meanwhile, Ally is in an absolute TIZZY over brands with names that are seemingly impossible to pronounce.It’s not just the Gallies in need of some advice this week, as Producer Izzy is having an absolute nightmare and needs some serious Ally and G wisdom.PLUS, one Gally is facing the ultimate dilemma of living with her ex she’s still desperately in love with, while a BALLY is wondering whether love really can conquer all when you’re doing long distance.FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, you've reached Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you've been on a date with a fan again. Or the sex was so good, it literally killed your dog. This is the podcast for you. Did you listen to the story about the dog? Yes.

Could you believe? When it came for, I was like, surely not, but I was, I'm going to have to put it in when I'm not here because I'm just going to laugh too much. Yeah, no, it was absolutely crazy. Ridiculous. Well, we've got much to discuss this week because she's been on another date with another with another galley. He's not a fan. He's not a fan of you. Well, he can blame him, eh?

He was. He was always a fan of you. This is the guy. I think I did speak about this on the pod. So basically we were doing an interview and we met like very briefly. He told me, I saw him last night. He basically said that I was actually walking out of the makeup room. I don't know why I've got like full amnesia. I can't remember so many things that happened to me. But I was walking out of the makeup room.

He was walking in and he came in to get his makeup taken off because he must have been filming. I see. And apparently I said something like, oh, you should keep it on. So apparently I was quite flirty. Was I in the room? No, I don't think you were.

Yeah, okay. I don't think you were in the room. Because I reckon I would have remembered that. I remember things like that. Yeah, you're so good at stuff like that. I don't remember him. Okay, anyway, that was him. So yeah, we went on a day.

it was nice Did you eat? No we didn't eat guys This is I don't know How to get over this And we even spoke about it on the date Like we spoke about like I spoke about my like people pleasing tendencies

And we were like talking la la la Basically we shared a bottle of wine I was gonna order a glass And he was like we should just get a bottle So we had a bottle of wine And then And no food No and he was like

Oh like thank God I ate those M&Ms Honestly That is so wild But this is, it happens all the time and I want to speak to all the guys and be like, when are you guys eating? Like, do you think they must eat before? He's eaten in the office.

I'm not jokingly. He must have eaten at like five. Did you eat after? Did I, uh, I had, I opened those wafers I had in my bag from the day. Fucking hell. Yeah, and I had those peanut butter cups,

which thank God I had them with me. On the tube, on the northern line, it was so drunk. Because then... Oh my God. And this is when I even told him the story about... Okay, so Al's friend, is hilarious and she's also single.

And when she goes on date and when she doesn't want to be there anymore, she goes, I've got to go because I've got to put a chicken in the oven. That is her genuine stock line. But she can get away with it. If I said, I've got to go, I've got to put a chicken in the oven.

Everyone would be like, sorry. So she's like 9.30. What do you mean? No, but I don't think night presents. Like, I think when it comes out of her mouth too, people think that's a fucking mental thing to say, but she doesn't care. I seem to care.

And so anyway, we got to the end of this bottle and he was like, I quite, you know, I was quite presumptuous. Is that the way, my word? It's quite presumptuous and I booked another place with a 20 pound deposit. Oh my God. I obviously, I was like, oh God bless, can't have you losing 20 pounds. Off we go to the next place. Even though probably at this stage I knew that he was like a really nice guy but we were probably like just friends. And it was hilarious because we'd have this whole conversation where he was like,

there's kind of like a difference between girls and guys and like it was actually so interesting because I'd never thought about it at this but he was like if you have like a scale of like fancying someone and there's like 10 to zero girls will probably like go on the date with the person between like I don't know like a three and like an eight like you would probably have a second date even if you weren't like 10 out of 10 I really fancy you he was like I think guys need to get to like an eight like an eight to 10 to do the second date, which I don't know if that's true. I think it's because girls have much more imagination. Imagination and also like, oh but what if like we love potential also. Like we're always dating potential. Like I'm looking at it and I'm like,

they just date what's in front of them. Exactly. So anyway, we went on, it was really nice. Like we had such a nice time and we were like chatting and la la la. Anyway, he obviously, he like kind of works in the industry and he knows that I do a podcast. And we got so direct. drunk. Oh, I don't think he was drunk. I was so drunk. Because he'd had his chicken and rice in the office. He'd had his chicken and rice. I'd had a bag of crispy M&Ms, not even the real M&Ms. Do you know what I mean? And so then we did this, he voiced noted. Oh my God. Well, we hear it. Come on. Do you want to play out? Yeah. Yeah. Oh my gosh. I'm a bit embarrassed. Can I leave the room? Nope. No. Oh, two minutes 45. I would have texted back to say it's too long.

I'm mortified. Hi, Izzy. Producer Izzy, it's me. G. I am currently on a date. It's 932. We met at 6.15, so I think that's pretty good going. I'm going to go ahead.

And two different locations. I just thought I would do a little like interview live with said date. I want to live. Okay, we do this thing called pit, peak and papaya. So it's your worst moment, your best moment and your most random moment of your date with me. Best moment, I think, was when there was zero silence throughout the entire evening, because I hate silences.

Yes. What the other two? Wait, was that with the... The pit. The pit was 100% when I was ready for a second bottle of wine you ordered a cara. You thought that was ending the night early? But I was feeling a bit pissed at that time, so I couldn't do it. You've got Pilates in the morning.

I got Pilates at 8. I did. And I've got golf. After the caraph finished, we end up training for at least another 45 minutes so could easily have done another bottle. Yeah. Yeah. So that was...

The pyre is something like random, like, one most unexpected thing. Mm. When within about 10 minutes we were discussing what the point of life was, I think that was probably it. Or the bit where we decided that trains going past on a first day every, every three, four to six minutes is actually like adds to the Romanums. Okay, so out of ten, that's the first day.

Such a pick-me. Out of ten first date, probably would have been a nine. I think the craft thing. Nine is so high. It was tracking for a nine. Then the craft order thing drops with like an eight. Okay, eight, it's fine. I'll take an eight.

Sure. Okay, thanks, see, see, too. Okay, thanks, Su, bye, Tizu, bye. Guys, I don't know what comes over me. That is fucking funny. He's a good sport. Yeah, and to be fair to him. He's a really good sport.

Well done, sir. The caraf was generous. I was only going to have a small. I'd have had a small glass of wine. I'd have honestly, if I was in my true elevated self, I'd have had a pepper mint tea. But I was being a real, I was being a good sport. Because I did have Pilates at 8am.

And I also thought I'm getting to that point where like, sometimes I, like, we have this conversation with girls all the time. Like, it can be quite easy to have a vibe. someone even if you don't think that maybe you won't. No, no. I think that's kind of what's difficult is when you like know that you like them as a person but just like what is a husband. Right. And that is hard because it's like yeah, don't get me. It's hard then to like not give them the wrong idea because it's like, don't get me wrong. I think you're a really great person. Yeah. Like you're so interesting, great chat. Like la la la la. I just don't see us spending the rest of

our lives together. Right. And that's that's hard. And that is hard. And also it's hard. I think I reckon probably I reckon I could have probably gone. I think you had a really good opportunity to put your markers in the sand. To say that was quite presumptuous and I probably am going to go home now. And why do you think those words didn't come out of your mouth?

Because if it's 20 quid. Right, you've got to do something about what do you mean? I thought God Blair. Babe, he's put to public. Oh, fucky. And the wine. Come on.

What do you mean? I'd had a half a bottle of wine by that point. I was on my way to a merry, merry time. And we were having, like, great chat. No, that's what I mean. It's hard. And also, sometimes you don't know. You've just said, I knew by that point.

I think I probably did know that by that point, and I think it's bad. Because then I feel regretful because I'm like, oh, I feel like I've given someone the wrong impression, like, at that point. You spend a lot of time being regretful at the moment. I'm so regretful. Do you know what would fix that? Doing it in the moment? Yeah. Shy.

I know. Shy. I'm shy. Yeah, I'm really shy. Wallflower. I'm so shy. Shut your mouth. Yeah, doing it in the moment.

That's actually a really good stock line actually maybe. It's not the chicken in the oven. But I don't want to give you the wrong idea. Yeah. I don't want to give you the wrong impression. And if you need the £20, I can... Oh, I know. And I'll let you have my £20.

Yeah. And like, babe, I get it. I would feel bad for him if you'd put £500 £0. and shut what I mean 20 quid isn't going to break the bank that's the bit I'm not understanding yeah I think in the moment in the split decision I was like oh but like the carafe like won't you know break the bank either

there's always room for a carafe is what I talk to myself so off I go for a caraph. That's really funny that's really good you should do that on every day I've thoroughly enjoyed that and shout out to him for being such a good sport because he is a legend and I have text him this morning so hopefully we can you know

be friends or something I think at the point when you did a voice note I would have assumed that you were going to go on a second date with him I know I think he's probably getting gas like yeah this is this is gone somewhere obviously I feel incredibly guilty actually I just realized this is good genuinely she's going through something at the moment

you best do some bold news in case I just can't so this is good to face it faces this good Yeah. He'll live, baby. I think as well, like, we talk about this a lot. Like, everyone in this situation is adults both ways. Like, if he had then, if you went on a date with someone that you thought you were on a nine out of ten date with and then they text you the next day, like, your world's not going to stop turning.

True. Like, everyone is an adult in this situation. Yeah. They can handle it. It is actually horrible, though. I forgot about it being the other way around because it is horrible when you think you've had a fucking good time. And then they're like, yeah, I think I, like, didn't catch a bar.

Then you feel like, did I read it so raw? Yeah, and you feel like, you know. Yeah. Well, food for thought. Oh my God, much to, much to ponder. Izzy and I having much private self-reflection at the moment. Well, say no more on that. It's because Venus is in retrograde.

I thought someone said something about a harvest thing that's going to be in the most amazing day of your life. No, it's not going to be the most amazing. And you had the worst day of your life. That's the whole point. It's not the most amazing day. It's one of the most significant. Reset.

Yeah. We're in reset season. That is the most amazing thing that's ever happened to. I don't think. Say it again! Yes! Come on!

Because I want every day for four months, we happened to be in the same place at the same time on holiday. Sorry, I just need to preface this by saying Izzy's literally to start this recording my being like,

I'm not talking about it. But I actually need to be quite discreet about this because I'd explicitly said to him in person and I'm like, this is going on the part and I don't want him to have that moment. Of pride. Do you not want to be here?

him to have the moment where we like annihilate him because I'm happy to do that and so is out or you don't want that moment. We'll just keep our traps. Because it just made you like an idiot but I guess you know the gallery's messaging with very similar dilemma as all. True. You know what we've got all going through it. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Basically she, go on. No, I actually want to hear your side of this. She was texting someone for four months. Oh, someone who had been entangled with for nearly two years. Yes. They have a long history essentially. A text of history. And they happen to be in the same place at the same time. Although now in reflection, I don't know whether that was, you know, coincidence.

It was. Okay, he works on Bart, like, again, just a bit context, you worked on Bart, so we didn't know where his Bart was going to be. His Bart happened to be in Barcelona. And then, Izzy just happened to, I was visiting our holiday. And then he just happened to the same way, just happened to, yeah, course. It was just, it was genuinely coincidence. To be fair to you, a lot of invisible string happened.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, in the same place, same time, we're in love. We're going to get married. This is amazing. Oh, yeah. No, I mean that. And then it all goes Pete Tom. It's crazy.

Anyway, he then basically was a piece of shit. He treated her like shit. He wouldn't message her. She then found out he was doing bits with someone on the bow. A mere four days before bits of each other. Bits and bobs, let me tell you. All the fucking flips and tricks. Yeah.

And they then, he then basically was just quite frankly an absolute asshole. And he treated her like shit and he treated her like a piece of rubbish that he could just throw away. That is the truth. And then he took no accountability for that. and then he was, you know, gaslighty, actually. Yeah, and cynical of your actions in response to his. Speak, speak. I was actually, I honestly, I honestly sat there thinking,

what, we are on two? No, but you know, it's weird when you're in those conversations and you think, roll the tapes. How are we living into such different realities when you've been sending me that shit? Like how? That's when I wish I was like in Big Brother

and I could be like... Oh my God, I wish. They're watching. No, because I made, I forgot to mention this bit, before we met up, basically had an internet with my cousin where they were just basically going at it and I said you go and speak to him and say I want him to apologize to you because he was really nasty to you and she went in and like voice noted and like had the recording and I said I need to be doing that with him at all times because

he will say one thing and then it's yes you need to be miced up as if you're undercover absolutely but I don't know if that's illegal well you also need to not see him again so no worries to buy the mic not going to see him again but this is what I mean about the retrograde season it's a perch he's been purged from your life quite full and and and and And it's forcefully. Yeah. Which is the universe giving you a sign that you are better than this. I know.

His sister is a galilee though, so hi. Oh, listen. Not your fault. Your brother's a cop. No, I'm joking. I'm not joking, actually. Yeah, you're probably. No, if I had a brother, I'd be mortified that he was moving mad like that.

Yeah. And I would. Girl, you know who you are. Have a fucking word. Have a word. Have a word. And sisters, they don't know. They never know.

Well, of course, because he would never, if you said to him, I'm going to lay out like as his sister I'm role playing I'm a sister if I said I'm going to lay out everything you've done

to produce Izzy and I want you to imagine that was me that a guy has just done that to me you're going to kill him you're going to go and find him and kill him but what it's fine for you to do

to produce for Izzy it's not fine yeah so you know what that's how homework for you yes please Galilee I would say your name

but I don't want to get you drag into this be a galley no no no no no need to drag her in no you are a gorgeous gorgeous girl and I think we'd have been the best of friends.

Oh, is you're really mourning alive you imagined. I think it's really. She's like, who is this girl? I always do that. If I'm dating someone, I look at their friends. I'm like, oh my God, I'd really get on with them. We'd always go to the same things together. Oh my God, I'd love his mom.

Look at his mom. I know, it's actually awful. It's awful. We need to stop living right there. Lots of things of fantasy world. We've got to stop living in the potential of it because it's not reality. And like, all you have is now.

All you have is today. Absolutely. So you can't live based on what may be over there. You have to live on what you have right now because that is all you have. So you have to make your right now as good as it can be for you. Because I think I'm saying this to everyone and anyone that's ever lived in the potential. The only thing in my opinion leads to is disappointment. Because 99.

Hey, flip a coin. Come on. Me and Izzy the optimist. We're going to marry him. In your girl. No, because in your head, you always imagine best case. I hate to say it. How often does best case actually happen?

So true. You're not going in your fantasy and thinking about all the fucking fights you're having in your relationship and your perfect relationship. Well, the reason he's wrong for you. Do you know what I mean? You're not. Listen, girls, make a plan.

God laughs. So. I'm pretty religious nowadays anyway. You haven't been here for a week, but I've found Jesus. But I think this is what, it turns you to that sometimes. You need. Stop it. to the altar.

Tim Shell, baby, Tim Shell. This is why I always say, God. Tim Shell. Tim Shell. Tim Shell. Tim Shell. I just read East of Eden. Guys, it's that it's all about, you know,

they reread the Bible in East of Eden. And there's this like whole like bit. It's actually a little too intellectual for me. Because it's been a long time since I like annotated a text. But basically Tim Shell means thou mayest. And that is the direct translation. And it means that you may think that you may think that you may think that you may think that, you have, this is a bit of a by the bye, that you may have like innate like, oh, I'm a lover

girl, oh, I'm a people pleaser, oh, I'm a whatever the hell. But actually, thou mayest, thou mayest act, how thou, thou, that wants. But this is like that whole thing about your, like, okay, sorry, that's the religious version. The scientific version is you can rewire your, you are who you are because of who you tell you yourself you are. Yes. If you say, I'm a piece of shit, I'm a piece of shit, I, you feel like a piece of shit. Yes. If you wake up every day and say, I'm a people please. What do you think you're going to do?

People please. Snog people outside London Bridge Station. It all is like, it's like synapse responses. Yeah, you're a crafty. And it really is. Yeah. And you don't know what's happened. This is why I always say, like, you have, everyone has the power.

And I'm talking to everyone listening. Everyone has the power to change it. Like, you genuinely, you have all the tools that you need. You just have to like, I'm not saying it's easy. It's fucking difficult. But like, it is just a test of willpower. Also, it is just like trial and error. I went to my friend Amy teaches Pilates at Enme.

I think it's called M-M-M-M-I. I don't know how to pronounce it. And I often think with these brands, why are you making a brand that you then in the description have to say, pronounce. That is fucking mental. The hope. That tipping you over the edge today is so interesting. I did not know that I was going to do.

Because everyone's doing it. And I love Rochelle Hems, but she's just launched a brand called Yula, E-U-L-A-H. E-U-L-A-H. click on the thing, first thing, pronounced you. So just write it, Yula. Or just think of a different name, honestly. Yes. Like, honestly, think of a name that rolls off the tongue.

Yeah. No, N-May. I think it's N-May. I think it's N-May. I mean, it's just mental to me. Yes. That fucks me off, actually, I've just realised. I've just realised that's your subway take.

Yeah. Absolutely. Can't stand a brand that can't be pronounced. Fair. So anyway, this Pilate studio in London, it's called N-May, and Amy is my friend and an incredible teacher. But I went to her class this morning It's one the hardest things I've ever done

And she did this whole I was holding a plank And she did this whole motivational speech About how all you can do Is if today you want to finish the plank Try to finish the plank Yeah Yes

If you don't do it today Try tomorrow Yeah Try the next day And you can do that inside this class And outside Yeah And I thought

If you don't want to be fucked around By this little fucker Don't see him again Mm-hmm This is Vida's retrograde season I'm not doing Everyone's gonna go through this We're all going through something.

I hope you don't, Ali. What? Have your big blow-up moment. They'll be bad for you. Keep that rock firmly on that finger. Let me tell you. No, because it doesn't have to be relationships. It could be loads of parts of your life.

She might cut a bang. You don't know. A bob even. You don't know that. You don't know. I think I went through a lot of retrograding in like genuinely the 10 years of my 20s. I'm not joking.

No, but your Saturn returns was hefty. Heavy. You had a mad time. 27 to I'd say 29. That's what I mean. I think I've done it. I think I genuinely, and I did like three years of the most intense therapy that a human being can do. Like, I feel like I've done it.

That's a lie, because there's some people out there at these cults where they're all shagging each other and taking ayahuasca. You weren't doing that. That's not therapy. They call it therapy. I'm just saying. I'm just saying it wasn't the most intense. Okay, one of the most intense. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Because you know. You were in a room in South Carolina, not. round of fire in the middle of Peru. That's all I'm saying. No, no, exactly. Exactly. That's all I'm saying. Okay, should we move on? Let's. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Let me try that again. Guys, why don't you please, hop over to part two. Join us. We'll be there. Hop on a skibble way. Please. Hoppy, skippy, jumpy.

Hello galleys, welcome back. What will we call the galleys this week? Well, we better call them. Oh my God, both of those boys have the same name. I've just realised. Oh my God, they do. We can't use that name. Okay, no.

Let's call them Bill. Billy. No, let's not call them Billy. That's bad. Let's call them Tim, Tim for Tim Shell. Tim Shell, course. I'm like number one OG, Ali and G supporter. I've been listening since it was age restricted on my YouTube, so just for some

context at how engrossed I am in the fandom. But I wanted to leave a message because I'm actually going through a really difficult breakup at the moment. My girlfriend and I have been together since we were 15, so a really long time, and I'm 20 now, and we live together. It's really lovely. Like, it's been a wonderful relationship. And we broke up in July at the beginning of July, but lives together up until now. So beginning of, well, middle of September. God, that's a lot. And I'm living back at my parents until November, the end of November, because that's when our lease ends. And we're going to renew, but we're going to reconvene about where we are come that time, because we're still the best of friends. We're still like

in love with each other, but we've also lived together since we were 15. Long story. Um, And I wanted some advice on how I can try and live in the moment and live for now rather than wishing away time to the future. So I'm literally like in this period where I'm just like constantly manifesting in my head that we're going to get back together and that we're going to live it together again. And I just need some advice on how not to make that happen, like how to really focus on myself. I'm also an eldest daughter and oldest sister. So it's really hard for me to like focus on myself or do anything for me. So, yeah, any advice on that would be greatly appreciated. Bye.

I was looking at Ali for the eldest daughter, you know, relation, and then I thought, well, she can't relate to that. I do everything for myself. She does not struggle. I do not struggle to put myself first, no. Do you not? No, you do not. Quite the opposite.

No, but I can, okay, sorry. First of all, that's actually spooky. That's so divinely aligned. I never listened to the voice notes before and then we were just talking about that. That's amazing. Maybe rewind and listen to the beginning bit again. Yes, please. This is like this new programme that's coming out, this series called Break Clause, where they sign a flat, this couple is a bit different, but they sign a flat in London.

And as they're signing the flat, he basically admits to cheating on her and they have to live together. By the bye. But I just thought maybe you could watch that. Well, I think, I mean, listen, I don't know if you've already renewed. I don't personally know whether that is the best path for you. Even if the aim is to end up together, I think you can still be the best of friends and still love each other and maybe not live together.

Because I feel like that adds a whole other dynamic of like, how do you move on? Because if you're not together currently and you are trying to live for the now, you have to do that. And you have to do that for you and remember every day the reasons why you're not romantically involved anymore. and I'm not saying that means see other people.

It actually doesn't. It does just mean choosing yourself. And you could do that in tiny little acts, like something that you guys used to do together. If you still enjoy that, you could do alone. Or if there's something you never used to do because she didn't really like it, do more of that. But I think maybe that's more difficult

when you're living with someone and you're in the habit of being around each other. Well, I always say this about, like, where you live. It should be, it should feel like the one place. that you can like freely express, experiment, like quite unapologetically. And like for example, like living with your ex, in my opinion is not a place to creatively or passionately explore anyone else.

Yeah. For example. Or maybe even yourself. Yeah. Because you are always going to be perceived to her as just like the person you always were, especially because you were together. I think it's also really let's talk about this point about

you manifesting you both getting back together I think listen number one too easy but also the thing the reason you're doing that is because it's almost too sad to let go of what has been if you can like hold on to

if you I think if you if you can manifest like oh maybe we'll get back together maybe this will be our life then you're not actually dealing with the fact that you're not together anymore and you're not like grieving the, you think because she can't let go, that's why you're holding on to the hope that you'll be together in the future.

Basically, yeah, I think if you let go, you might be able to also let go of them. Like, I'm not saying it's never going to happen. I'm just saying you'll stop giving it energy and oxygen. Yeah. If you just, like, grieve the fact that your relationship ended, that you were also, like, I mean, that you are friends, that you've been friends together, like, that you were living together. Like, there's a lot of grief here. I think, you know, in these situations, and I can really relate because I think I've gone

through this quite a number of times. It's, it's easier to like be hopeful. It is because you think, oh, but maybe and like you're fantasizing. Like we literally just were talking about rather than just like dealing with it really, like it's really sad and it's really heavy and it's really heartbreaking. But like that is the reality and that has happened and like let's look at that for just a second. And then maybe once you've processed that, you can be like, do you know what if we get, I think when you basically go through that, you might get to a point where you're like, what is meant to be will be. Yes.

Like, genuinely, if we are meant to be back together, we will. And if we're not, look at this beautiful relationship we have that I have now put to bed. Well, that's the thing, because you can put that chapter of your relationship to bed while still having a new chapter of your relationship. It's just going to be different and it has to be. Yeah. For you now.

I just want to say, if you haven't signed the lease, maybe rethink. Signing the lease. Maybe you could have a few like somehow like boundaries or a bit of a change in how you like move around each other. I don't know how that looks and that's so difficult. But I think if you're trying to transition into just having a friendship, just make sure that those boundaries are really clear so that you're not actually slipping into the comfort of having someone as like your partner. I think it's even small stuff like let's say you and her always used to. go get coffee on Saturday morning at this one place at 11 o'clock. But actually,

every time you were awake way earlier and you were just sitting around waiting. Nice. Now, don't wait. Just go. Go and do it for you when you want to do it. Because that will, I think there's this thing of like, couples do things together,

even if one part, like, that is literally the hell couple. That's, compromise is the fucking foundation of any relationship. But like, now you're not together. You don't have to do that. So do it for you. I want to get up and go to the coffee or I want to get up and I don't know go to the beach

whatever it is like do get to the beach like also a lot of it is about like breaking the habits and break and actually leaning out of the traditions that you had as a couple. Yeah. You don't do that.

Lean out on a Saturday morning I don't know go to a boxing class like whatever it is like you need to make new. Yes. Nice. Everything needs to be new. Good luck.

Love you. Also thank you for watching us when it was age restricted. Yeah, that makes me feel 105, but thank you. Time for an email. Oh, Slay. Hi, Ali G and Izzy. Love your content.

Yes, I am a straight male galley. Woo! Sound the alarm! I feel like you're my eyes on the inside of the female mind. As we are. To that we are. To that we are, thank you. I'm at uni,

and I've been with my girlfriend for nearly a year now. Everything's going great, and I love her so... much. She's the best person ever. Love you. However, when we're not at uni, we live really far away from each other, like a five, six hour drive. Even just doing long distance over the summer was tough, but when we're at uni, we live about two minutes away from each other and it's so easy. However, as we go into final year, I can't help but think about what's going to happen after uni. It's unlikely we'll be able to afford to move in together straight away. And I also really want to travel for a

substantial amount of time. She's unsure whether she'd want to travel too. And therefore how she'd feel about me going away for that long. It's making me have serious doubts and I'm considering ending things purely to avoid having to deal with the situation at the end of the year. I really don't want to feel like I'm strapping myself down or stopping myself from travelling to stay in the relationship

because it's something I've always dreamed of. Is this reasonable doubt or am I just overthinking and self-sabotaging? Any tips for making long distance work after uni? Cheers girls. Well, first of all, love you. Love you, Tim. I've got many thoughts.

Go on them. Number one, I think it's really amazing that you found this amazing girl at uni and that you've had this really special time together. Again, let's take that just for what it is. You had an amazing chapter. You've had some, like, you love each other. I don't know, she might have been like the first person you ever really love. Like, there's so much goodness that has been in your relationship. So let's just focus on that for one second. At the same time, it can also be true that you want things for yourself and you are at an age in your life where you are

allowed to, and actually, I would say, encouraged to choose yourself. Rarely, like, you know, as you get older, the opportunities to be selfish do get smaller. And my opinion is you should go and you should, you should pick yourself, actually, and you should do the thing that you have always dreamed of because I think if you don't go, number one, you'll definitely end up resenting her and actually that will just be the beginning of the end of your relationship anyway. And, okay, let's say you stayed together forever, fine, you might look back and be like, cool, that was really worth it. But if you didn't you might get to our age and be like that was a fucking waste but i think even if you did end up together you'd look back and be like why didn't i go because look we made it anyway so i just feel like that that bit

you're not wrong about you should do that for yourself and and you should do it even if she says travelling isn't to me and you also shouldn't feel like she needs to do that for you to stay together i do think there's a conversation at that stage in life that you can have about how you manage that time apart. And if you want to try and come back together afterwards, I don't think that's like, that'll never happen. That will never work. I just think you have to have that really difficult conversation

and you have to be really clear on how you're going to communicate, what your boundaries are, mainly around other people, and how long you're going to be away. That's what I think those, if those three things are really clear, I think you could get back and you could definitely see where you were. My only thing here is that they don't live close. So even when they get back, they're going to have to like go out. Like already you're facing another obstacle.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like if you were both living in the same city, I agree. I think you could go away even for a year within some relative parameters and it not be the end of the world. Because you would know that there's like a homecoming. Yeah. But I think because you're not going to have that, you might have to prepare yourself. Yeah.

You know? And also like from experience of being with. a partner that is away. It's a lot of longing and it's a lot of like lonely nights and it's it's it's really hard to miss someone. So I actually don't think you are self-sabotaging. No. And I think it's really hard that you love her and she's amazing.

But yeah, maybe in picking yourself it has to be a breakup to then revisit that in a year and to see where you both are. I think I know some people that did this. And I know people that get back together. Yeah. 100%. But I also know people that like leave. It's actually really like if you can zoom out and like obviously don't get me wrong,

it's so sad. But like it's actually really beautiful that two people can have had this amazing relationship and walk away with nothing but love for each other. Like that is so rare. Yeah. And you have the opportunity to do that because there's no hatred. All you're doing is saying, I'm just choosing myself at this time in my life.

I'm not saying I'm going to do that forever. And who knows when I get back, like you might have moved. All of our circumstances might have changed. Yeah. And also if you're the one that got away and I regret that forever, then that's my regret to have.

Yeah. Like, I think if you know that in your like soul, then that, like, you have to know that because you also can't expect her to wait. No. No, no. Because she might not. If I were you, I would have the conversation.

I mean, to be honest, I would leave. I would just eke it out. I'd eat out the good times. Oh, I would definitely stay with her all year and have the best year. Yeah, me too. I'd have the best year. If I'd love to, there's no way I'd break up with her now. 100%.

I'd be like, sister, this is actually kind of perfect. We've got like, it's like when people get a diagnosis. Yeah. Sorry, that's awful. But you live life better because you're like, fuck it. If I've got six months, let's go. Yeah. So just live it and just, you know, know that there's a difficult conversation coming.

And don't leave that conversation with any. grey. Yeah. I love grey. But you've got to get clear on that because you can't be going, let's see how we go and maybe I'll text. Because next thing you know, you're on a night bus in Thailand, you got no batch, you're not texting her for four days and she hates you.

And that's horrible. I don't think that's an option. I think it has to be a clean break. I really do. Yeah. Because I think that, no matter, even if you leave it with no grey, having that those, like, looser parameters only leads to grey. perhaps because like it's either we're talking every day or we're not talking what we're going to prescribe how many times are we we we're going to text you like it's too much room for error yeah and then I think you'll hate each other that's what I mean is going to get hurt I think it's really amazing to be able to walk away and be like I have loved every minute of my life with you and I just want to like also we're so young and I just want to do this for myself yeah it's beautiful what we've had wow how few people I always think about this actually Meredith Gray from Grey's Anatomy

one of your idols. One of my idols. Her husband, Dr. Shepherd, died. And I so vividly remember her, someone asking her, like, do you feel, actually, I have a family friend who basically said these same words. Her husband died. And my, my mom asked, do you feel, like, angry? And she was like, how could I ever feel angry when I was gifted the love of my life?

Just because our time was cut short, like, I'm so lucky. People spent their whole lives not having that. And I had it. Okay. I lost it. but I had it. Like, it was beautiful. Like, I think there's just, it's a reframe.

Yeah. Everyone, like, I think we can close these chapters like a bit more like optimistically. Yeah. And like a bit more like, wow, I'm so lucky that I had that. And now I don't. And now I'm on the next. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Good luck. And thank you. We love you for being a straight mail galley. That's amazing because you're very few and far between. Yeah. Honestly.

It's time for the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip. The galley gossip is where we ask for good old-fashioned gossip. And I'm not going to say what I said last week about gossip, because my amnesia hasn't kicked in and I've remembered what you've said now. So if you've got any gossip, if you're on a date and you want to ask your date to voice note us, then please. Please. Send it in.

Send it our way. We have got a voice note today from a galley who listened to our episode. I can't stop shoplifting. and I slept with my boss. And let's just say it hit a little too close to home. Hi, oh my God. So I'm just this week's part about shoplifting and I need to tell you this story

because I'm so angry after the flashback I've had listening. But basically, Asda made me and my sister out to be criminals and shouted our names across the whole store and said that we'd stole a bottle of vodka a few weeks prior. We were like, what the hell? No, we haven't. He then proceeded to walk us around the whole store, making out that we were criminals, and then showed us the CCTV in which we realised that a staff member had came over,

taken the security tag off because it had flashed on the self-serve, and we'd basically tapped contact list and it had gone through and been declined, and we hadn't noticed. We tapped contact list and just went, oh, yeah, we've paid and left the building. But he made it out, like came over to us and shouted our names, was that we were criminals and we were just like, oh my God, it's clearly a simple mistake. We'll pay the money and we'll leave. And I can't really remember what happened then because I black out when crazy things happened.

But it got very heated and he ended up momentarily barring me from ASDA. We put a formal complaint, but ASTA accidentally lost the CCTV footage that the show does because we were also complained about GDPR for our name, showing us a video which they shouldn't have. They did threaten us with the police and I said, well, I welcome the police to come along because of the way you treated us. I welcome them. But yeah, I was momentarily bad from ASTA and I'm also a teacher. So then obviously I walked out at the shop and was like, oh my God, how embarrassing as a teacher, meant to be professional of now being barred out of my local ASDA store.

And my poor mum, who has done our ASDA shop weekly in ASDA for my whole life, has ever since boycotted ASDA reviews to spend a penny there, bless her. So yeah, just to let you know that even for a £20 bottle of vodka, the store will make you feel like a criminal. But yeah, love you girls. Bye. Love you, babe. My only thing that I love is your mum for holding a grudge.

She's a fucking woman after my own heart. What an ally? she's saying Astor's dead to me It's actually so me That's so you Never stepping foot in Astor again Never ever And I would comment on all of their Instagram

Yeah that's very strong on principle Yeah I like that a lot I'm way more fickle personally Like if Asda had some good deals I think soft to Asthma for day I'm afraid I've got to go to Asthma Like I would Christmas comes around

I've got to go to Asda And she's not doing that And that's amazing That's funny That is so funny Also that is genuinely my worst nightmare Me too. Like, especially like when I've actually paid.

No. Every time. But like, I've paid everything in my bag. So I like, if I got stopped, I had it at Birchka the other day, I was stopped. But I actually, no, no, you can't tell that story. Anyway, I was stopped at Birchka the other day. He checked my bag. I was fine.

I was allowed to go. But it is mortifying that moment. I thought, imagine someone recognizes me here, rather than my bag searched. No, that's bad. The beeper went off. I thought, oh, my God. I even think that at airport security. This is easily the most embarrassing thing that could ever happen to me.

And my bag keeps going by. I've got nothing in there. They don't even look through it. I know. I know. I know. Worse when you see someone that you know. Oh no.

That's awful. I get stopped every time. You can't remember the last time I didn't, my bag didn't get searched. It's normally my body. What have you got on your, maybe your belly ring? Yeah, I did think that maybe my belly ring. Have you got a hip replacement that I don't know about? No metal in my body.

I don't think. Okay, well anyway, if you want to get involved in next week's galley gossip, send us a DM on Instagram or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help with, then please send us a voice note on our WhatsApp on 07342-617-7992. And take a leaf out of G's book. Yeah, come on, live and direct. Lived what she preached. Yeah, and I have the number saved. So, you know, and I have previously sent a voice note to leave a message.

I'm going to do that. Where are you? I've got nothing to what am I going to say? Your oven broke last night, extremely interesting for the dally. And your hair smells like chicken. You could have told us about that. Well, that's it, really.

That's all there is to know. Next time you have a dilemma. Come on. You're not all knowing. Why don't I do with Raw? He doesn't like his voice as the only... We can change his voice. Oh, yeah.

AI. Next time I'll have something fun. I'll do Pete Pit Papaya with him. I should have done that after the wedding venues. Come on. Okay. I'm going to lock in now. Shoulda woulda coulda.

You can also click the link in the episode description and you can email us at hello at leave a messagepod.com. Thank you for listening.