Leave A Message with Ally & G - G’s First Date in Months & He Did WHAT With a Fork?!

Episode Date: March 4, 2026

G spills the goss on her first date in months, was it romance… or a write-off? The girls also get a voice note from G’s Nan, who’s completely thrown after being sent an AI image and cannot for the life of her work out what’s real and what’s not.Plus, one Gally is having a forkin’ nightmare in the bedroom, and we also have a Leave A Message FIRST as another Gally shares a truly horrific sunrise drive you will NOT believe. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome back to another episode of Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you're moving in with your annoying in-laws. Or you've snubbed your boyfriend by buying your own 30th birthday present. Oopsie. Oops. Guilty!

That was me. Okay, big update. Many, many things to discuss this. We've got business. We're standing on business, yeah. I went on a date. Slate. First time since Jan, because I have.

a bit of a hiatus. Well, we've been busy. We've been busy. Yeah. And I was a bit scarred by that one, to be fair. It was the red light for me. Fair. So were we all, babe, by the way. Fair. Yeah. Most importantly, I didn't go home with him. What, guys. Is you're new here? I cannot tell you how seismic that is. Sorry, can I tell you how funny it was? Because we went to this place. We actually went

for dinner, which as a girl with braces was wild. But I had no signal down there. Did you eat the pizza with a knife and for? Yes. Yeah. But it was so fine because it was that thick pizza. Just get it right at the back of the gullet. Yeah, yeah, but you couldn't. You wouldn't have picked up and get your mouth around it.

No one, that's barbaric. It was big. Fine. So you needed the knife and forth. So I didn't look weird. Fine. Basically. Anyway, I went to the toilet and sent you all texts.

Text Holly, text you. But none of it went through. So Holes actually started to panic. She thought I'd been abducted on something. I was on fine my friends thinking where is she? Yeah. Because then apparently I moved when I then got sick. But WhatsApp's really annoying.

You have to then open it to like get the signal again. So anyway, then open my text. All my texts were sending to her and I'd seen from her. She was like a U.S.A.K. babe. Then I obviously felt really bad because, you know, general rule is you have to send a text within like an hour and a half, two hours. Because, you know, you never know when you just might be abducted. You actually never know.

You don't know that. Because like we're all so blasé about it. But like, it's serious. Have you seen the documentary? I have. Yeah. I have. Anyway, I felt really bad about that.

But all these texts had come through. I'd send them toils. And then she went, oh thank God you're fine. It was like maybe like, it was quite late. It must have been like 20 to 11. It was so funny because those restaurant things came through but nothing else. And I thought, right.

Oh my God, yeah, because I was at the table texting out like. Our waitress was from Manchester. So obviously I was like, where should we eat? When we're there. I was sending it to you. Anyway, then Holes like replied to all my texts that, you know, my kind of updates of the night. And she said, I think maybe don't go home with him. And I was like, yeah, yeah, no, no, I won't.

And I was like really bad. Really good. Yeah. Not that I would have done because he lives in like Oxford. True. That's actually a great way to date. Barrett dwentry. Yes. Can't go home with you. I'm really, I don't get on the train. But why would he not go home with you? Or would you not allow? No, boys don't. I don't like it. And also I broke the rule once and it was bad.

The jujuie was bad. We had to save her room. Yes. No, no. It's not a joke. Because he couldn't get it up and I don't want that being a curse. I don't want that curse. I don't want that curse. Or whatever that is, I don't want it. That was That was bad. That was really, really bad. I wouldn't do that unless I was like, oh, they're my boyfriend, my husband, I love them. That's also the universe being like, I told you, don't bring them back here. This is what you get. I've got like my teddy in my bed. I've got like my bits everywhere. I've got my like vision board on the wall. I don't need that in my space unless I like love you. Do you know what I mean?

Yes, babe. I'm not going to like flip on a dick and I'm like, that's just like, anyway. Basically, I'll be real with you. I am like having an interesting. internal battle with dating and not instantly being like infatuated with a person. Yeah. Because every single person I've ever been with, that's been the star. Yeah. I've been like drunk on them. Oh, drunk on them is absolute for me, red flag.

I know. Like I, and I'm talking to you, producer Izzy as well. Hello. Hello. Feeling targeted now. drunk is not a good place to make decisions from. You're drunk. I'm not.

I'm not. I'm sober as a saint. Trust me. So, really. You're not. This fucking girl. How could you say that? How could you ever say that?

I don't know. I just, babe, I'm proud of you because that's growth to even, you know, acknowledge that and, and push forward. Yes. And not be like,

okay, the only way is to search for that. Yeah. That's what I'm trying to battle with. well, okay. At the moment. As somewhat, yeah, because I think, listen, it's different as well now when you date really intentionally.

Yes, true. And you know what you're looking for. Like, I think basically when you're throwing the net really far and wide, you're, like, there are a lot more shit ones. Yeah. So when you feel that with one person, you're like, oh my God, wait, I felt something. Yeah. Rather than, like, now you're like filtering before you even get there.

True. So it's like maybe some of those people. would have made you feel drunk in love. But would you have actually liked them? Probably not because you've already done the maths in your mind. Yeah. So that's why I think it's not about, I will die on this hill that it is really, also guys, if you are looking for your husband, life is fucking long.

Find someone that you genuinely like on a human level first. Because like that, you know, when you're 75 and all your bits are shriveled up, that's all you've got, to be honest. Yeah. So I really think it's a good thing. and I say that with my absolute chest. So I'm going to see him again. No, but you had great chats, babe.

Guys, he made me laugh. I've never laughed on a date before unless I'm being funny. In my opinion, that counts for so much more. Yeah. So much more. That's fucking hard to find. I know. There was a point where I was laughing so much that I was embarrassed

because I was laughing. Like, that's how funny. Yeah. He was. Like, to me. Unreal. Unreal. Maybe I do.

Maybe I am drunk. But this is the thing. I don't think that drunk is actually the goal. No, it's not. When you're like, I think that this is good. This is very good. I once upon a time met a guy out in a bar and I loved him. Like I think she wasn't drunk.

She was in hospital having her stomach pumped. Also, by the way, and this is like such defamation to me and my character, but I was at the time in a relationship. But I met this guy. They're not together anymore so I didn't worry. He was a piece of shit. Nothing's sorry about. I'm sure he forgives me now. He's moved on. He's happy.

He's fine. He's fine. But I remember, it was like gutter punch and I hadn't had that since I met my ex. Like it was like two and a half years into our relationship. I met this guy out and I was like, oh, I love him. And he is like, he's someone that I can keep tabs on, shall we say. Yes. He's in the public domain. Yes.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's easily accessible for me. So like if I ever like I'm lacking limerance or I'm feeling a bit like, oh, love doesn't exist, la la la. I might just have a. look, see how he's doing. You know, it's so funny because I think that you're definitely, gee, this is fucking gee, this is, okay, also, sorry, she texts me. I said, tell me everything, la, la, la, she texts me, hold on.

She goes, I like him, but maybe best friends, question mark, we get in the car in the morning. Oh my God, I think I'm in love. I was like, sis. No, I know. You did. I think I love him. Okay.

That's her stock line. So whatever. As a person. You need to know. that when she says I think I love him, she doesn't love him, okay? Because that is just... By the end of the night, I was like, oh, I think I, like, want to take him home with me, as in, like, like, a pet.

Good. Like, a cuddly toy. I really believe. Okay, I watched this... She felt quite homely. That's how... Yes, babe. That's weird.

No, it's not. Like, home is in, like, the physical place in home. I know exactly. A hundred percent what you do. Very comfortable. Yeah. And, like, you know, in my opinion, that is actually the goal. I was watching this thing from this, I can't remember one of those fucking reels that comes up on Instagram and it was like, fucking reels. Always coming up on my Instagram.

I can't get away from them. And it was like, what is the, because I think we use love. Like, this is what I mean. I think the word love is actually way too far reaching. What do you mean? I love him. Like, do you know what I mean? I think we need to break it down to like what is actually like you can have really like infatuated, like lustful love.

which is really like not long-lasting, then you can have kind of like, obviously platonic love, la-la-la-la-la-la. But then there's this thing called companionate love. And that's basically like the greatest marker of a long-lasting relationship because at the end of the day, you are just best friends.

So the fact that you think maybe best friends, to me, is a huge green flag. And also I only felt like saying to you, I love him after I'd kind of like listed all the things about him and relayed the date. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah. But she says I love, you love the red light guy for a sec. That was...

I loved him on the night. But then I did sober off. Yeah. Then I came to. I think I had a lot of tequila. Yeah, fair. A lot of tequila. So yeah. Anyway, that's the update. I'm going to see him again. Guess what we're doing? This is wild. For the second day, go on guess. Mini golf. Better. A holiday. I wish. Less. Okay. Less good than that. In your professional adet.

I'm a professional at it. It's your job. You're doing a podcast. Sorry. Surprise! Surprise! We're going to watch a podcast live. Which one?

Off menu. Shut up. Wait, that's a good day. Yeah. Comedy show. It was so funny. The comedy show is a fucking good day. Absolutely.

Because he texts. They laugh at dodgy things and you think red flag. misogynistic joke Red flag Why is that funny to you? I'm just like I'm leaving No, he texts her say What did he say?

So basically on the date he was like Oh yeah I've actually got Because I think he was asking me what I do I was like embarrassing so many things Honestly I'm so busy Oh I'll tell you the one problem with this man He doesn't live in London Yeah so basically this is the confusing thing

He lives in Oxford but he has like almost like digs from his work in London. He's also thinking about moving back to London but seems to like his life where it is. So like that is not ideal. It's not ideal. Because I'm not travelling anymore. No, no, no, no, no.

It needs to be convenient for me in my life. I'm afraid. Yeah. Because I did it for so long and it was not worth the time, the miles, the money, the mistraised, but none of it. It's not like you've got a nine to five. Do you know what I mean? Like if you did, you could do that

because you would be like, oh, on Wednesdays and Thursdays, I just know I'm going there. Yeah. Whereas like that doesn't... We are quite flexy. We are flexi. If anyone's going to do it, it's probably a must actually. No, I agree.

No, but he doesn't have a flexy job. So that's actually hard because then like, listen, we're getting ahead of ourselves. We're going to go for date two. And then we'll just sit. No, but say about what he said about off menu. Oh yeah, sorry. So he was like, oh, like, sometimes when I just see things that I like want to go to,

I just buy two tickets because like there'll always be someone that wants to go with me or I'll just go alone. Because he said, do you want to come to off menu with me? And I was like, because I was like, He was out of him afterwards because he was like, he was like, he was like, oh, I said the day. And then he was like, oh, that's actually when I've got those tickets. Should we just do that? And I said to her, does he not have any other friends he'd like to go with? I would like to go with me over many other friends.

But when is it? Soon? Wait, let's put the date of the diary. It's in the diary. I put it in. Because like, why is he not got someone to already go with it? Lined up. Oh, no, it's like two weeks away.

Okay, that's fine. Oh, lol. She's, maybe he's sacked someone off. Guys, she's put it in. She are off. menu. Not due to second date. I'm actually busy that night, so that's perfect.

Yeah, I saw that. That's why I gave it as a day. Perfect. I like to plan my life around Al's, you know, obviously. So anyway, that's the update. I'm also talking to some more people and I'm also going to the Brits. I'm looking around.

Guys, the Brits, this is like... I'm on the streets. No, and also, everyone thinks the Brits is a jolly. It's not a jolly. We're at work looking for G's husband. I don't know why people take this so lightly. It is, I'm not joking. We found no fit men last year.

We didn't really look. We really, we, like... Was I a bit sadder then? I feel like I might have been less therapies then. Yeah, oh. Less ready. Yeah, and also you were having, like, you didn't have a nice day. I had a bad day.

Now you're gonna have a good day. You've done the therapy. You're fixed now. Don't forget. Guys, I graduated therapy, I'm fixed. I don't know what to tell you. I'm actually like a new woman. Fixed.

So yeah. Okay, cool. Slay. Flay. Oh, we must tell you about the voice. Okay, so basically. Basically, we have a group chat with my mum's side of the family. We're all girls. So my mum is one of three and everyone, all the girls had girls. So he was me. Yeah, isn't that crazy?

No boys. My dad's side has boys. I have one, one boy cousin. One. Yeah. Oh, sorry, two, but one really. Yeah, I have one. Yeah. Three, like, second. That's why, like, boys to me, like, this is why I can't have sons. They are such an unknown entity to me. I don't, I honestly would not know what to do. But then my girl cousin on my dad's side had two boys. So I don't Oh no. I know. Maybe it's coming for me. Anyway, so we have this group chat. My nan, God bless her, is eight. I think she just turned 87.

No. That's actually quite young. Yeah, because my mum's 65. Babe, I don't know. My mum moves with the years. It's so easy. So she's 66 in May. Yeah. So what would that have made my nan when she had my mum? Yeah, young, right? Yeah, young.

Fine. So she, God bless her. She's really with it, my nan. Like she's like, you know, Slay, Scouse her out and about living her life. But she's not so techy. Like she's got her iPad, she does her crossword on there. She's not quite a breast of AI, we've realised, since this happened. Anyway, my little cousin, she's the baby. Not anymore, she's a growing woman, she's 21, but you know, she's...

Oh, no, you're a child, yeah. She's 20. The frontal lobe's not there, that girl. She's not making your decisions. Oh, yeah, obviously, at 20. Anyway, so she put this picture in our group chat. We'll put it here. Of basically her, this guy, I still don't understand who the guy is, and her AI baby.

You know how people are doing that? I saw it a lot with Jojo C, Warr and Chris Hughes. They were like making her children. Anyway, she just puts it in our group chat, no context. My family is so deranged that nobody acknowledges the fact that it's AI. Because obviously they think everyone in the group would know that. But God bless my nan's in the group chat. So everyone replies as if Hannah has just posted a picture.

Of her and her baby. Of her and her baby. My nan replies straight away being like, whose baby is this? What is this? Like panicked. You can hear her in the text. She's panicked. Everyone just ignores her.

They're like, Hannah's, of course, playing a... Loll. Loll. But like, no lull. My nan then sends this voice note. Which is obviously her not intending to voice note us. I'm guessing she's voicnoted us by accident. No.

Yeah, it's an accident and she's talking to Dave, who is in theory my grandfather, but not by blood. I've never known anyone different. My mum's dad died when she was young. So Dave is essentially my grandpa, but I do like to call him my nudge. boyfriend because essentially that is what he is. Fine. Because they're not married and he's not related to me.

They never got married. No. How long have they been together? Many years. I wonder what... Since I've been alive, so like 30 plus years. Yeah. I don't think...

Yeah, I think 30 plus. And they never got married. That's wild. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Especially, like, their generation, they're hot on marriage. I know. He will always and forever be my nan's boyfriend. Wow.

Okay. So anyway, this is the voice now. I said, what? whose baby is it? But nobody's been, no reply. Tell me she was pregnant. Who is this? Hannah!

Who do you think it is? She's had the baby? I don't know. I didn't even know she was bloody pregnant. Why has nobody told me? No Linda's saying it's losh. What does that mean? Well, lush is a rather contemptuous word for a Somebody with low morals, isn't it? No, it doesn't mean that.

I mean, it looks a new baby, doesn't it? But why did nobody tell me she was pregnant? Explain someone. Does that account for her ill health? I know that's her boyfriend. Sorry. Oh, that is so good. That is a fucking skit.

You couldn't write that. I'm dead. Since everyone started, like, obviously she said, that voice-known the group chat by accident. And now everyone's, like, finding that's so funny. She's gone radio silent. Like, my nan has said nothing. I even text her separately to be like, you're gay, um, nothing.

So I don't know whether Hannah is like, called her or what. Oh, that is fucking funny. That, guys, okay, no, let's try and start a trend of pranking your nass. You've got to prank your nams with AI. With an AI, baby. Please. Oh, my God, I'm going to do it. No one told me she was pregnant.

And then Dave just that a count. account for her ill health. Obviously, Hannah must have had like a cold or something. Also, I'm like, do you really think she spoke to you in the past nine months and never once said? What does Losh mean? What does Lush mean? Because that was my mum. Hellerries.

My mum just goes, lush. Anyway, so that I thought was really good. That's fucking funny. That really is funny. What's her name? Glenda. Glenda, thank you Glenda for serving. That is fucking good.

You've really, really offered up to goods this week. Thank God for you. Thank God. You can have a tenor. Yeah, I'm going to say to my little cousin, it's naughty really, she owes her something. It's not bad. She could have a heart attack. She was absolutely shocked, horrid shot.

Who did you think it is? Imagine she went into cardiac and her sergeant. And she asked, that happened. My granddaughter, she had a baby, and I didn't even know about it. And everyone say it's lush. I don't even know what fucking lush means. Guys, wait, will I just try and call my cousin? This girl.

This fucking. Is she the one in Australia? No, that's Eleanor, her older sister. Got it. Hi, babe. Oh, hello. Oh, hi, Queen. Hi, Gigi.

Hi, babe. How are you? I'm good. Sorry. So we've just played that voice note. Well, we basically need an update on whether you actually then spoke to her. Did you speak to Glenda? Where is she?

Has anyone checked on her? It's her poll still meeting. No. Well, basically, she called me two days before she was. I was thinking, Hannah looks a bit chubby. That is hilarious So she still really thought that that could be real Wait, sorry, you set the scene with two days ahead

No, she didn't even set the scene, you just said you're going out But so Han's saying she shouldn't know Oh, I see No, she wouldn't have too You know what, she did as well, she sent me money to get drinks Sorry, why are you the favourite granddaughter I don't quite understand, you're literally quite literally bullying her and she loves you the most

I know I mean, I asked her like, Nanny, who's your favourite You know I'm, you're my favourite. I have to say I'm never the favourite. I'm surprised she wasn't thrilled that you were having, like you'd had a baby. I know, same. I'm quite disappointed.

Can you tell me who the boy is? Where's my guest? Who's the boy? What? Who's the boy? Who's... Oh no. Oh, dear.

Why have you used him? I ended up making an AI baby. Just a baby. You need a. You paid for that picture. No. I actually forgot your mom was the one who sent it in the group chat, not you. I did not send it in.

Justice for Hannah, to be fair. She's innocent. But you do need to go and get your head checked for paying 20 quid to get that AI baby made. You, okay. This is too far now. Sorry, if you're paying for that, then I'm going to send you some picks because I need to see some babies with some men. I think this is a good idea actually. I'm on board.

I've been my old friends. Oh, that's funny. Tell me a boy you want a family with, though. Okay, yeah, no, no, I've got many. She doesn't have, do you? That's fine. One. Okay, I've got one.

Okay, so you're yet to ring our grandmother, basically. Yeah, well, she hasn't rang me. You better call her, sis. I think she'd call her and check she's okay. I reckon, yeah, call her. I know, well, I... Not, ma'am. You were hoping we could play it a bit longer.

Yeah. I think you should call her now, sis. Why don't you call her that? Then let us not. Okay. Well, I've got to go, but I love you. Go and make some cakes. All right.

Okay, love you. Bye, way, go. What is she doing at university? She makes cakes. That's her degree? Yes. She wants her, like, dream is to work for the team that make, like, Colin the Caterpillar or something. She's hilarious.

She just finished her job at Cabri's World. She's a funny girl. My family are mental. Wow, okay. It's what we've decided here. Slay. Okay, join us in part two for your galley voice notes. All right, galleys, welcome back.

What should we call the galleys this week? We better call them Hannah. Yeah, let's have Hannah. Go on them. Lucky girl. A big feature. Hannah, I don't know if you listen to this. She does.

Go and check on your fucking Nans heart beat. All right. I'll ring her after this, my nun. She's like, what the fuck is there? She'll literally be like that. It was just ruined my day. I also think when we're Nans, we're going to be, I know that. Like, I'm down with the kids.

How more advanced can AI get is the question I have? Do I mean? I know. No, to be honest, my mom is not abreast. No, but she never knew. No, no, I know. But sometimes she sends me things and she's like, be careful of this. I'm like, sis.

You don't know what this. Babe, you can talk. The amount of time Al goes, oh my God, Katie Perry and Justin Trudeau are having twins. What? Because she's got this AI baby scan. The AI ultrasound of Justin Trudeau and Katie Perry's twins. It did get debunked as AI and proven to be false. Well, I just rule for it. Yeah, you did.

Hannah number one, let's hear you. This is a story about how me and my ex were getting frisky in the bedroom, and he asked to use my vibrator on me. And I very kindly let him, and I says, yeah, sure. And he was using my vibrator on me. It was a little black bullet just for reference. And then one thing I said to him was, don't let go of it. Otherwise it will go inside me and get sucked up.

And he's like, that's fine, I won't. and then about a minute or two later he looked at me and said, it's gone. So I had fallen down the side of the bed. So I looked to my left or my right and he was like, no, it's lost inside you. So then I had to get my legs up in the air. He was like one, two, three, push. And I am a man, so I was pushing like I was having a child.

It was quite traumatic. I then had to get a fork and put a fork up my bomb. Shut up. And try and fling it out. Didn't work. It was still on actually while it was still inside me. inside me and I had to and he was like, Joe wanted to turn it off and I was like, yeah, sure.

So then he put his finger up and I was like, you have to hold in the button to turn it off. He didn't hold it and he actually clicked it once which actually sped the vibrator up. We eventually did get it out but it took a lot of pushing and to get it out. No, no, I know. I'm sorry. Does everyone want me to do a drawing

demonstration? Because a butt plug, this is why butt plug has this bit so that that doesn't happen. A butt plug looks like this. Yeah, so it's got a stop. Yes. Whereas a bullet it bad but this is bad let's just go straight up and in this is blocked

can't go up and in it's like a plug that's why you need to buy a vibrating butt plug not a vibrator for but use okay okay lesson learned sorry this just made me think

of all the things that you've got stuck up your bum well not me I don't do bum stuff that people These are things I've stuck up my fungus. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, really good.

That people have lodged in their genitalia. Yes. And I'm talking footh too. Foof, bum. Yeah. That's about it for all of a sis that you can fit things up. No, do you know that story? Everyone thinks this is fate, but I think this man's...

You can't... A fork in your ass! No, this is the only problem with the story. Why not use a spoon? Also, why not use... You know, you know those... nice long spatulas that are made of rubber. You know the one?

I have, it's for cake. Yes. I would have done that. The problem is there's not much room up there, you know, to dig it out. No, no, no, it's very tricky. Also, the only way, if I were you just for next time, I haven't ever had this problem, I don't think, but I would go to the toilet, sit in my own time,

and I would just, you know, do it like, I wouldn't be putting my legs in the eye and asking my partner to rummage around and look. That's a good idea. Because eventually it will, you have to relax. you have to breathe. Otherwise, you're clenching and you're holding and you can't panic.

No, but lots of people go to the hospital for this and stuff. Like, loads. Relax. And also, like, you know, they say, there are so many, I don't know why I see all these things, but like, you know, people that go to the hospital and they're like, I've just got this really, really bad pain in my anal cavity and they're like,

did you put anything up there and they're like obviously not? And then they find like fucking remote controls in there. Like a pigeon. Yeah. The pigeon. This pigeon. Okay, do you know about this pigeon? No. It's that Adam Kay, the pigeon. Yeah. So he, he, this is in that book, this is going to hurt.

He was a gynecologist. He is a gynecologist. And he was, this woman came in saying she's got like awful like discharge and foul smelling, you know. This is rancid. It's rancid. And she's like, I don't know what the fuck has happened. Like la la la. So they do all these tests and obviously like, you know, it's not good.

And then. It's not good to say that. But they don't know what it is because they're just doing external tests. And then she goes for an x-ray. they find a fucking dead pigeon up her fanny. That's disgusting. And she was like, no, no, nothing's in there. Anyway, obviously they remove surgically the dead pigeon.

And then he was like, I was looking at up and like people put them, these live pigeons up there, babe, because they like the pecking sensation. That's not right. On the inside of their faith. I don't like to kink shame. I never do. You know me. I'm very open.

In this instance, I can kink shame. That's not right. Because now we're treading into animal cruelty. Yeah. We're getting the RSPCA involved like this. It's no good doing that. Keep animals outside of yourself. Sorry, I do sometimes have this with a tampon.

I was going to say, have you ever had it with a condom? No. Because I've had it with a condom once where it's been lost. It is panic-inducing. It is, no, no, and you feel like I'm going to die. Or same with a tampon, you know, when you double up, have you ever done that? I had that last week. And I didn't know.

You'd forgotten. You know, when you don't remember, and I was like literally digging off. Desperately, desperately, there was one in there. Thank God I checked. Desperate panic, yeah. But why must they make the fucking string so short as I know? Well, why must we all be so forgetful, I suppose? Because like...

There must be an app for that to log where you'd have to log it and we'll all forget to log. I would rather log it than have the panic of digging around in my vagina looking for my fucking tampon string, yeah. Do you know what? Everyone needs to get more hobbies because that's the problem here. Everyone's got too much time on their hands, too much experimenting going on. I agree.

Learn a language. Listen, I'm up for experimentation. That's just, like, just, also, as Gordon Ramsey. would say common sense isn't so fucking common, seems like. Wow, really good saying from Gordon there. So, you know, don't use a bullet that has no

stop mechanism. Also, it's vibrant, oh, the vibrate. You wouldn't really be able to feel what was happening, do you know what I mean? Like, because everything's vibrating. Oh dear. Oh, no. Well, anyway, I'm so glad you got it out and I'm hoping that you and your, are they still together? I don't know.

Maybe. I hope so. After something like that. They bond you together. those things. I've had a few of those situations where I thought, you know what, we'll never talk about this again, but I'm glad we've experienced it together. This is it though, when you're never going to talk about it. It's like, what are we just going to pretend for like however long that that just really, that traumatic thing did not happen to us. Yes, I think in the bedroom, yes. No, no, no, I agree. I think it's like another land, isn't it? It's like, you know, when they say, what happens on tour, stays on tour. What happens in the bedroom, stays in the bedroom.

Yeah. Now it's time for an email. Okay, I'm ready. Hey, girls. My girlfriend and I wanted a cute little romantic date to go and see the sunrise on the promenade. I wonder where they live. We woke up at 3.30am. Could never be you, sis. To get there at 4 a.m. when the sun would rise. We had a quick... Where are you living that the sun is rising

at 4 in the fucking morning? Even in Australia it's rising at 5. No, it was a bit... It's a sunrise, that you want to watch it come up. You only saw it in the bloody sky, since. Silly sausage. We had a quick drive through some back roads in the dark, but managed it fine.

God. My girlfriend who was driving turned to me and asked, do you see that? Bearing in mind, it's now just before 4 a.m., I answered, see what? Oh dear. And then I saw it. A woman standing in the middle of the road, very nearly naked. What does that mean? Very nearly naked. I like how you've written this. This is like a thriller. Yes. This is really good. You can write a book. Edge of my seat. All she had on, thank you. She goes on to explain very nearly naked. Yes. I need not jump in. All she had on were a pair of knickers and a vest that was pulled way too high might have well not been there

obviously we stopped but couldn't reverse as there was a car behind we tried to go around but she followed and blocked our path brilliant she then started shouting you need to make noise you need to make noise oh dear she's in distress she's having a bad day

she started smacking the bonnet of the car goodness me I'd be terrified at this point absolutely terrified Also, lock, lock, lock, lock. Emergency call. Emergency call. And lifting the windscreen wipers up and down against the screen. We're thinking what the hell is going on.

The screaming continues and we start honking and she appears to be getting off on the fact that we are making noise. Oh, she's loving it. As we're waiting for the climax, she has a change of tune. She's now on the bonnet, then the windscreen, then the roof. There is a naked woman screaming to make noise on the car roof. A Toyota I-O. How do you say that?

I go. They're tiny, so easy to get on the roof. A Toyota, I go. This is the problem. If you were driving a range, she wouldn't have been able to do that. And this is why you need to work car. Because you need to have a big enough car

to stop crazies, climb on your roof. My girlfriend turns to me and says, I think we should call the police. I'd have called the police a mere 10 minutes ago. Yes. I got out my phone and called 999. Thank you for clarifying. Not 1111.

Yep. Or 911. Thank you. This lady is now jumping on the roof. The guy on the phone, I wonder what the car behind's doing. Again, are you sure this is a real story? I believe so.

It was sent an email. The guy in the car behind. It's a trustworthy producer, producer, Izzy. She trusts that the galleys are truthful people. If I was the car behind, I'd back it up and get out of there. I'd be doing a yew-y. Honestly, that looks like none of my fucking problem. That is something that I don't go about.

Nothing to do with me. None of my business. Anyway, the guy on the phone asked if she was wearing a huge. heels or boots or something because it was so loud down the phone. She was not. She was barefoot and denting the roof as we spoke. At this point, I spotted a guy a bit further down the road and apparently so did she. She continued screaming at him to make some noise too.

She was too far away. She needed to be closer. Thank God. She must have realised this too and so must need to get down. But first she must take off her knickers. No. And what is the most obvious way to get off the roof of a car, slide down the windscreen. Obs.

Down she slides. No knickers. Oh my God. And a windscreen resulting in a long, obvious snail trail. That is bad. That's awful.

What is she? Oh dear. I don't even want to know what debris. She's left behind. That's awful. Off she pops. Greeting the man

and that was that. We drove off and parked up a little while away to regroup. We had to ring my girlfriend's parents to come get us as we were not prepared to drive back through the town. So yeah, that's my very strange story.

Right. Lot of tidal. I've never had something happened like that to me. I've had a few knocking on the windscreens if I'm like parked at traffic lights in London. Yeah.

But I like am from the country and I always used to have this irrational fear clearly not so irrational that someone would like on the country road just be standing in the middle of the road and it was like honestly a recurring nightmare for me because there was this guy once we'll call him Papoose and he once said

that he was driving back from Cheltenham one night and there was a woman in a nightie in the middle of the road but then he went to get his phone and she wasn't there. Ghost. I feel ill. That's awful. Ghost and I really do believe him because he's like a farmer

quite like straight lace do you know what I mean. He wouldn't be lying about paranormal activity. No I've never had but this woman's not paranormal she's real. No I know sorry sorry but I was my fear came from like the woman in the night dress and this now is going to reignite that fear because I don't know what I'd do.

If I was alone, I'd start crying. No, no, I'd freak out. I'd cry. I'd never ever experience anything like that in my life. Wow, Hannah too. You've really given us a first there. Thank you so much for that. Right.

This is something new. Producer Izzy, would you like to intro your new idea, which we love? Yes, so I thought we need to be a bit more interactive with the galleys. Like, sometimes they don't have a dilemma, they just want to chat. Yes. This is a time you can ask questions. You can talk to us about things that have happened in previous episodes. And sorry, we must say this is called the galley gossip.

It's the galley gossip. It's the galley gossip. Maybe we'll have a little thing that goes to the galley gossip. Ding, and there will be like a nice little jingle. It's time for the galley gossip. Great jingle. You work fast, jingle queen. So we've had one in from Anna, who was referring to G's issues with the recycling bags, was it?

Yes. Right. So here we go. We're going to have the voice note. Hey girlies, I love the pod. I listen every week and you always make me laugh so much. I just want to let you know that I actually work for waste and recycling in Wonsworth. And you can actually pick up free recycling bags from any local library in the borough. So yeah, get yourself down to your local library and pick up some free recycling bags.

In London or just in Wonsworth? I'm guessing that's in Wonsworth, Council. Yes, said Wonswere. Listen, counsels are to their own... Babe, what's her name? Anna, could you put... Anyone you know from Lambeth, Council? Have you got friends at Lambeth? Babe, that is brilliant intel,

because at the moment, my boot of my gorgeous new hashtag gifted Lexus, who I love, is filled with cardboard because I can't recycle and I'm just waiting for a tip trip. But now I'm going to go to the library. Oh, Anna, please come through. Can you find someone at Lambeth for the same purposes? That is phenomenal intel. That's really, really going to change my life.

Is there even a library? Oh, what, the top of North Dakota Road? Top of North Dakota Road. There's a library, yeah. I didn't, I honestly would never have known that. Thank God. Friday morning I'm picking up bin bags and vokes. Anything else you need that?

Northcote Road has it all. There's a man, there is a little man on Northcote Road that sounds hoax. Sorry, do please not smoke and it's real bad view. And it's only because we're doing a big job at the weekend at the Brits. And we sometimes get stressed and we like to decompress with one skinny vogue. And also I, in the morning like to have skinny vogue. if I haven't had a poo. Yeah, we also don't condone that

because it's not like medically. Oh no, no, no. But everyone does know. Everyone knows. If you need a poo, have a sink and a coffee. But also don't, because bad for you. Babu, bad for you. Definitely.

Do as we say, not as we do, is what I'm saying. That was brilliant. Really good. Right. I want emphasis now, girls, on quick fire. Okay. This is things we loved and didn't love from this episode.

Oh, right into the mic. Right into the mic. Rachu. Things we love from this episode, she's frontal lobe coming through and deciding that she doesn't need to be drunk in love. Really good. My nan, not knowing what AI is,

and being really confused about the fact that my aunt, my cousin had a baby. The galley gossip, our new feature as brainstormed by producer, and the new jingle. Loved the jingle. Love.

Things we didn't love. Getting a vibrator stuck up your ass and digging around there with a fork. Don't love. Double tamponning. Don't love. Don't love. Don't love the fact there's no helpline,

you know, for situations like Hannah number two. Don't love that they miss the sunset, sunrise. Oh my God, you're right. I didn't even think about that. They didn't even see the sunrise. They woke up that early. But listen, you've got a story for life there. Do you know, when someone says at a dinner party,

oh my God, what's the craziest thing that's ever happened to you? I never have anything to say. That's a really good one. Keep that on lock. Yes. And good thing you've written it down now. You could just show them like this. You could just say, can I refer to my notes?

Yeah. And you could do the whole spiel. Perfect. You could learn it by heart. Sorry, also love feature from my cousin Hannah. Oh yeah. Ovs. What a galley.

Didn't love that she's fucking paying 20 pounds per picture. That's not right. That's not right. That girl's got too much disposable income. Yeah, because you're fucking Nan sending her money. Didn't love that I've apparently never been the favour. That doesn't surprise me. I've got the most personality.

I don't agree. I've got the most charisma. Steph is definitely more likable as a grandchild than you. Also, it's rare for the eldest to be the favourite. Yeah. Well, well done there, sis. Because I am... Hannah has overtaken her now, to be fair.

Is she the youngest? She's the youngest. Well, that makes perfect sense. Yeah, and also she's such... She is a likeable girl. I hate to say it. How many of there are you? Six. Five.

Five girls. Guys, I've got 13 people to compete with. Yeah, that's hard. It's... It's the favourite in your family. Dog, Isabella. And just... The only person on, like,

So we also have a WhatsApp group and on our WhatsApp group because there are so, genuinely there are 30 people on this group everyone sends happy birthday messages and often you know you're not getting everyone's birthday you're not always on the breast so like my grandma will send like oh happy birthday my darling Alexandra

like something nice on my birthday and for Isabella's birthday it's like you are like you're the light of my life it's a voice note it's a song and like all of these emojis like oh my god I can't imagine a word without you I'm like fuck you're Isabella she's not even the oldest

No, she's the oldest of my cousin. It's me and my sister and then my mum has a sister and they've got four kids and she's the oldest of that four. Fine. But she's, there are many, we walked. Sorry, she walked. Wait, she ran because I walked. Basically, I laid the groundwork.

Yes. Agree. I was putting in the shift. To be there to me, good for you. I put in no groundwork. Yeah, I didn't deserve it. I rocked up. Yeah, yeah, you just rode on all their coat take totals.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm in the middle. I'm forgotten. I really, I'm dead in the middle. Yeah, you are. okay we love you so much let us know what you loved or hated in this app by commenting on Spotify or YouTube or wherever you're listening please comment

we love reading them that's like one of my favorite parts of the week is reading all your comments like on the TikToks on the Instagrams like I genuinely love it because you're fucking funny yes also you can now get involved with galley gossip so if anything from this app that you think oh I need to talk to the girls about that then just voice note us or send us a message

or DM leave a message pod producer Izzy's written maybe comment a car emoji in honour of our crazy car lady Please. Please. Why not? And don't forget if you've got a story or a dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-617-792.

Or click the link in the episode description, which is arguably much easier. And you can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com. Sleigh! Love you. Thanks, guys. See you next week. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Big Writ tea beer!