Leave A Message with Ally & G - G’s Moving to NYC?! And He Wants a THREESOME!!

Episode Date: August 19, 2026

It's holiday season for Ally and G,  which means two whole weeks apart, and honestly? We're not sure either of them is emotionally equipped for it. 😭 To make matters worse, G has had a revelation that New York City might be calling her name. Ally, meanwhile, is already blocking every flight search on G's phone. Not on her watch.PLUS, one gally is on a real journey to loving herself again after past trauma — and we're here for every step. Meanwhile, another gally has to find the words to tell her boyfriend that no, in fact, she does NOT want to add a third to the relationship. Awkward doesn't even cover it.FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've reached leave a message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether your flatmates giving you the clap or you've just found your friend on your mate's hinge. This is the podcast for you. Guys, revelation. We just discovered Ube.

The hell is Ube. Like actually, what is it? Is it a tea? Is it a... Good question. Is it a... What kind of substance is Ube? I would guess it's a leaf.

A leaf? Like, matra is a leaf. I believe. Matra is the green tea leaf. And they grind the green tea leaf. But guys, Ube's purple. If you're listening and not watching, I'm holding up my Ube latte,

which is the kind of now, the color of, um, how do you say? That was a quite nice lip color, actually. Yeah, yours is a bit more purple than mine. Mine's a little bit more muddy. I don't think purple's that weird. because in Asia there are all actually loads of purple things. Purple foods?

Purple foods. This is where Uber comes from. I've just Googled it. It's Japanese. It's potato vibe. Shut up. It's from the Philippines. It's a potato.

It's a carb. It's a purple yam. It's a yam. Wow. I know. You're chowing down on a potato. What delicious. Yam for breakfast, lunch and dinner, sis.

Oh my God, I did not know that it was a yam. I wouldn't have guessed jam. I don't often eat yam. So I'm glad. I'm getting my yam dosage. Because sometimes you've got to get your yam in. And we have been saying cold foam is fucking few and far between in London at the moment. I don't know why.

Hard to get some good cold foam. Luckily, luckily we went to the coffee shop at the end of the row because if you watch last week's episode, you will know that the size of the coffees in this building have gone down by half. They've significantly decreased. And we are being told they haven't. And it's fucking, we're giving guess there. It's a conspiracy theory. It is, right? And so luckily we found our eBay cold films

Perfect Thank God And Al was so funny She literally bought we bought the like Coffee outside She had her first sip And she was like I can't believe we haven't been doing this

All summer I can't I can't I do that is actually something I hate when you Like I have this when I go on holiday You know when you discover something Too late

Yeah Yeah I can't believe I've been doing this all holiday What the fuck? Yeah Yeah No that is the worst That is the worst

That's actually the worst Or like even if you like Live in a place Like I used to have that Like when, like, I've obviously moved around London and then I've, like, gone back. Like, recently I went back to Depford and went to this amazing bakery. I was like, I can't believe I wasn't here every day when I lived here. Probably didn't exist.

But you know what I mean? Yeah, no, yes, I do. But still, so sad. Yes. So very sad. So very sad. Yeah. Anyway, talking of holiday, we are both about to go away.

Um, which is so very exciting. So we're ready. This is our time. Also, guys, I just want to say, and I'm not here to defame the entire industry, but genuinely, no. is working. I'll literally. Her famous thing at the moment is she just keeps saying, nobody wants to work anymore.

Get your ass up and work. We just like, no one replies to our emails. Like, no one wants to pay us to do anything. It's just mental to me. Yeah, it's Craig. But it means it's a good time for us to go away. All goes as always, honestly, if you work in this industry, you could clock off first of the 31st.

No one will fucking notice that you're gone. Yeah, true. I wonder what industry is a busy in summer. I guess hospitality, but hospitality is always fucking busy. When is hospitality not busy? guess if you work in like anything like around like if you think about like school holidays things that would get busier apparently a lot of people move house in August yeah I do you know summer why is that because it's so hot why would you move house when it's so hot apparently because

more houses sell in the summer than in the winter because they look nicer everyone wants to get that house on the market beginning of summer so that people can buy them and move in summer good lighting and also people move before the school year starts and the school year starts in September True. And probably like everyone has that, like, energy of like in before Christmas. So then maybe you start thinking about it in August. Yeah. If you find a good one, you're away.

Yeah. So anyway, we're going on holiday. Ows going away with normally as if you know us and you followed us for ages, normally I would go on the family holiday, but they've gone a bit further afield this time. So alas. Well, but I'm going to say, babe, let me get on to Sky Scala now. Maybe we could book a last minute flight. You don't know.

From a Yorker. Yeah, because do you know what? Two weeks is a fucking long time actually. Two weeks away from each other is a long time I don't think we've ever done that No we've never done that We must have done Christmas we did do that

Christmas is a bit different though Christmas is weird because everyone's like so busy and like no I do I do hate when you go away in January to be fair I do love it I know it's horrible

it's horrible for me like it's so horrible because I have Christmas and then I come back to work but I can't really work all I can and I have to do it alone but again no one's really working in January

I don't know what's wrong with everyone. Tell me that when I was at the Masked Singer event. That was one event. But yeah, anyway, we're going on our holidays and can't wait, basically. Izzy are you going away again? Izzy's been on her fucking Jol's and then some. I genuinely do believe everyone should be having a holiday a month. Even if it's a little getaway.

I agree. Because everyone always gives me shit at this for work. They're like, why are you going holiday so much? I'm not stupid enough to take two weeks off in one guy. I agree. When you have 28 days or whatever. Shoeba thing to do. I take, I use the weekend, I use camp holidays, and I just take loads of little holidays.

And it just makes me feel happier. Also, then you never feel like you're in desperate need of one. Yeah. And then you don't come back sad because next month you've got one books. Yeah. And I'm very privileged position I might have to add that I can go on holiday once in months. I'm scared I'm going to get cancelled. But like, yeah, I'm going to Spain, Malaga.

Spain, Malaga, love. And then also Barcelona, but when I'll add to something. Boston? No, Barcelona. She's a Spanish queen. When are you going to Spain? It's actually Malaga, Spain, but never mind. When are you going to Malaga Spain? I am going in mid-September. Are you saying in Malaga? I think we might be doing Toromelinos. Oh, love.

If you know any wrecks, I've never been. I do know wrecks around that area. I can give you some. Yeah, we were going to do Greece, but it was a bit expensive. So then it's now become south of Spain, which I'm a bit nervous about. Don't be. I genuinely, the south of Spain gets a really bad rep. But as someone that went to the south of Spain every year since the age of eight, I love the South of Spain. The old costa del Sol. It's nice. The weather's good, the food's amazing. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? So do your holiday's quite relaxed or are you that activity people? We normally are. If we go away together, we're very relaxed. We don't do an activity. Do you know, I always... We don't do one pedalo. We have, no.

We went to the... Okay, that doesn't really count. The suks. We went to the suks. Yeah. We don't do activities, babe. We don't. We drink.

We gym. We gym. We like to the so. by the pool. We read. We eat again. Do you know, G and I, we shop. We do shop. We are such the perfect couple. I know. We are. We move so well together. Yeah. Always. Yeah. Which is weird because like we're quite different. Really different. And also our body clocks are like polar opposites. Yeah. But it always just works. I know. I do stay up a bit later on holiday. And I think you maybe actually wake up a bit earlier. I'm sure I do because she will come back from the gym and then I will wake up. But no

props great I'm up now yeah and then Al goes and then I have a coffee and like read my book and then we have breakfast together discuss discuss discuss discuss not always not I should discuss much to discuss then we might do a bit of pool bit of beach we do we actually always a fucking super TikTok to be filmed always a super TikTok and then there's always like a shop to be shopped in always sometimes there's a little mooch a little explore we'd sometimes go on a walk yeah we'll do a war depends really like in Australia we really like we were so leisurely we really and we At the beginning as well we had quite a lot of days off. So we got this little Suzuki car.

We like drove up and down the coast and just like sat on the beach all day. Just got our ass eye and honestly just spent the whole like we're quite horizontal. We do not. We do not activities actually. We're not at surf school. No. No. We're not booking excursions.

We're really not. We did do that one quad bike day. Oh, we did. We did do a desert quad bike day once. We did once. Yeah, do that. We did do Carver Tasting. We were paid to do that.

I was, I've never been so pissed. She was shit-faced. Then when we went Carver tasting outside Barcelona, we'll give you some wrecks for... Why were you so drunk? Why were you not? I must have been drinking yours. I genuinely cannot drink wine. I was drinking yours.

Do you why we said yesterday to me much? I was doubling up. And then we went to a paella making class. Oh yeah. And we made friends with that family from America. I do remember that. Yeah, we're not really excursion people, I would say. What do you mean by excursions?

do on holiday? Like, is he went on a hiking holiday? We would just simply never do that. I did do that. Me and Holes did do that. We went to Slovenia, remember? Yeah. Hiking holes.

That was quite different for me, though. That was like, I wanted to be a bit wholesome. But I love an activity. I love a boat trip. Love a, yeah, boat trip. Yeah. I like a random, like, you sort of making food, like you're doing paella.

I like to do, yeah, like San June surfing. I do usually end up doing a hike. San June surfing. Yeah. The fuck. Yeah, personal not for me. You won't catch me sand dune surfing actually. No, really.

Really? What about in like a, I'm not a big museum person, like a city break. The last thing I want to do is, yeah, we would do a museum. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. No. When I went to Paris, did I step anywhere near that Louvre? No, no, no, no.

I actually really build down this out. I think museums are shit. I really do. I'm so uncultured. I love you. I love museums. What do you like about it? museum. Okay, listen, some of them are fucking boring.

Don't get me. You love an exhibition. Yes, I do. I love an exhibition. No, but even when I go to like, I'm trying to think of the last place I work. Like in Florence, you can walk around and genuinely spend a week just in the museums because the art is just too amazing. It makes me feel so calm. Me too. The only time I don't like it on holiday, if I've gone on a city break and I'm gone for like heat, because then sometimes I think, why am I spending three hours in an air-condition building? Do you know what I mean? Yeah, but then I think city break is not for the heat. True.

It's not for the city. Yeah. It's for the city. The clue is in the title. Do you know, we've never been to Paris together. We should go. I've been to Paris so much. Oh, wait, sorry, we have.

We went for as you like. Yeah, we have. We have been to Paris. Sorry. Stupid girl. We went to Shodai. We went to that match a place. One thing about us, we will literally walk half now to find matchup.

We will. We literally, we lost our group because we were just like, we've got to go and get some match. I think we went to this. We went to this knickers shop And we honestly spent three hours in this fucking shop I don't know how We always Etan, what's it called?

Yamamai E? Was it called Yamami? Yamai It's an awkward What was the one that he wanted to do? You just keep saying it more but it doesn't make it resonating

Yamami. Yamami. Is that it called Etan? Oh, it was called Etan. Yamamai. Yamamai. Is that the matcher place? No, that was Shodai.

Yamamai is another knicker shop. Is it? Yeah. I've never been. No, do you know where we need to go? We need to go to your homeland. Babe. Why are we not doing that trip?

When we go to Australia, we will stop. Yeah. And spend a few days. Come on. You need longer than three days. If anyone's thinking of going to Asia, people who book in like Singapore or Hong Kong in three days, guys, you will sleep the whole day on the first day.

Yeah, it doesn't count. It doesn't count. Like if you're booking three days, book four. If you're booking four, book five. But then I will never, I will die on this hill, okay? best thing to do if you're flying long haul to somewhere with a huge time difference, i.e. Australia, is to book the longest way possible to get there. Because we hacked.

I never had jet lag. I never had jet lag. We were waking up at full 30 in the fuck you. I would call that jet lag. But the first few days we weren't. We were on our holidays. I woke up that first day fresh as fiddle because we'd spent three days getting there. And time did not exist when you fly Turkish airlines to Australia.

And when you have a delay so bad that you spend a night sleeping in a foyer. It was a hack. It was. And for all of the pain that I felt on that travel day, getting to Australia, I actually did think we've smashed it here because there is no time difference because we've been awake for 72 hours.

True. We were like in a vacuum. I don't know what the box going on there. It's amazing. Yeah, I would love to do that. I was thinking about that the other day about all the, because I went to eat a guy. If you need a chick, if anyone, this is very niche,

needs a chicken rice recommendation. Go to three uncles. There's one in Brixton, but there are actually loads around London. And then I was thinking, as I was sitting there, G would fucking love this because the noodles was so delicious. Get me to the street food. Honestly, I would just have hair.

And we're not going to any posh restaurants. It's pure, it's just only at Walker Centers. Of course. Yeah. Yeah. Looks like we're going to New York in September. Looks like. Can't wait.

You've been before? No. Never. Shut up. It's amazing. No, we will actually. I'm worried about going to New York. Me too.

I'm worried for us. Because I think I might really love it. Like, I have this with Bali or I thought, oh, I'm going to have to live here. But because it's so far aware. I couldn't. Also, the life is, in Bali, life is too different. But whereas New York, it's kind of London.

I'll tell you what will stop you from moving to York, babe. The price of rent. Oh. And me, yeah. I tell you what, we'll tie you for clapping for the rest of your life. Me. Facts of rent. Price of rent's high here.

No, babe. You don't know. It's four grand for like 500 square feet. It is, I watch. That's not for me that. I watch the girls on TikTok. They, I'm not joking. their whole flat is the size of this and they're paying four grand.

It's mental. You can't be cooking where you're eating, where you're sleeping where you're... It's not right. And then if you live a bit further out then you're not actually... I think it's like tourists when they come to down and they're like, oh my God, I love like, I want to live in London. I'm like, you want to live in Zone 1.

Not Forest Hill. Right. Exactly. But you can only afford Forest Hill. Yeah. I do worry about us going to know, although I think we might fall off the face of the planet for a week. I'm going to love it. I'm going to love it.

Are you going to feel like work? You're going to have to find something to do because I'm going to be on a date every night. Yeah. You would date an American? Well, exactly. Quite serious about that. Yeah, someone from New York.

That's not an American. They're different. It's not sure. What do you call them? New Yorkians, New Yorkers. You call them Americans? New Yorkers. Different.

It's like a microclimate. Think of Adam Sarmler. A bit. He's not American. He's from New York. No. What do you think makes them different? They're a bit rougher.

Sorry. Who have you ever heard from New York? from what I see. And the films I watch, they're different. No, I think they're a bit more in your face. Brash. Yeah, and I think that's not a vibe. I think New Yorkers are here.

If a boy fancies you, he will chase you down the street. And I think that's called harassment in London. Brilliant, is he? Come on. No, no, no, no. Too much. I don't know if how I feel. Americans in America, I don't hate as much as Americans on holiday abroad.

Well, because you're like, I don't know, I've never, I've never, Americans on Americans on Americans. It's giving Americans. It's a bit much. Yeah. We are, we are like ying and yang, I suppose. Like our cultures are so very different. But don't worry, today, I'll just be on the table next to you. With my Kindle.

Well, we'll just go for dinner and then I'll just go for drinks. No, you'll go for dinner with your day and I'll sit on the table next door and we will pretend we don't know each other. But I obviously will be watching your every single move. Perfect. And that'll be it, really. And then you'll go home with them. and then I'll go home and watch Netflix until 1 in the morning. And then I'll go back.

It's perfect. True. And that is the good thing about Al being a night arc because she's always up when you finish a date. Literally always. I just know if I get in an Uber on the way home from a one nightstand. Always. Who am I texting?

Always. She's awake. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Welcome back, galley's. What will we call the galley's this week?

We better call them. What's like a really American name? Courtney. Courtney. Of course it is. Courtney. Okay, let's hear our first voice nailed. Hey, Ali and G and Izzy as well.

I love the pod and the board to listening every week. I have a struggle that I'd love to get some advice on, so here goes. I am 20 years old and I was sexually assaulted a year ago. This is really affected how I approach intimacy within my relationships. I really struggle to communicate that sort of thing with partners. And some have not been very understanding, so it's making me really uncomfortable in those situations. do you have any advice on how to be more open and more confident talking about those sorts of things and any advice on how to be intimate after something as big as that has happened?

I know sadly it does happen to lots of us girlies and gaining that confidence back is really difficult. Please let me know if you have any ideas and just keep being yourselves. Love you guys, bye. Love you, babe. Oh, I wish I could hug you. I know. You're doing really well, babe. Well, yeah, even like having the awareness to talk about it

and to bring it to your new partners is like a step in the right direction because I think a lot of people don't know how to articulate that in a way that is going to be received at all, whether it's received well or badly. I mean, firstly, fuck anyone who receives that badly because I feel like if you've built up the courage to say that to someone and they don't take it well,

that's someone that you don't really want to be anywhere near like they've told you everything you need to know. I actually had a situation not last year the year before where I felt like I had put myself in a position that I was really taken advantage of. And it took me a while after that to, I guess to feel like fancy free in those environments where I was like going home with someone because I think like most of, the time, you do make good judgment calls and you are able to articulate your boundaries and to just have like a nice time with people. But also like when we talk really casually about hooking up,

like it's quite a big deal to go on a date with a stranger and then to go home with them. Like, you know, like it is. And you don't know that person. And as you say, a lot of women have experienced situations where they have been assaulted or taken advantage of. So it's not like you are the only person who is experiencing that so you don't need to feel alone in that. But I think how I managed that was I didn't put myself in that position for a while. And then I kind of waited until I felt like far enough away from that situation that I could look at it and to be like it was just that guy and that moment in time. And it's not every guy and every moment in time, if that makes sense. But I think when it comes to like articulating,

your boundaries. Maybe that's something that you could like practice with like a friend before you even get down to it so that you know like what you're going to say and then you can just almost say it as if it's rehearsed and then their reaction is how you move on

because I promise you there will be people that receive that really well and go really like carefully with you and then that will make you feel even safer and like more able to do that again. I think it's just like really slowly. Like there's no tight, like, you know, it might take really longer than you think. I think that shit sits, especially sometimes when you're trying to like move on and like block it out. Actually, sometimes that's worse because you're, there will be fit. There will be moments or situations where that something is triggered inside you.

And if you haven't identified what that is, it might take you a little bit longer than, than you probably even realize to like sit and really. process as something that happened to you. And I also think, you know, these situations, of course, they make your walls much, much, much higher. But if you can see that as a good thing in terms of like, only the good ones then get like, like, let through the net, that's also, like, I personally think that's a really positive, like, takeaway. Yeah. That, because, you know, it is. It's really, it's, modern dating is actually, if you really step back and think about it, you don't, no one knows anyone. And we're all just, just, just, just, you know, it's, it's, it's, assuming things about everyone within really short spaces of time and then you're going home

with them and doing something that is the most intimate thing that you can do with another human being. And so vulnerable. And you don't you categorically you do not know them. Yeah. So even if that means that takes you longer to go home with someone or it takes you longer to let your guard down or as you say like it takes you it takes you time to get to articulate it, all of that in my opinion is only a good thing because it means that the people that do like get through the net will be really good ones. Yeah, I agree. You can't beat yourself up about it because I think we have like a bit of a tendency to be like, I should get over it, I should be fixed, I should be fine. And it's like, it might not be fine and it might not feel fine. And you might

even be like opposite a good one and still feel a little bit panicked and that is okay. So like I was right, it's just about time and about communicating because there are like for a fact there will be people out there that are like nothing but kind and gentle and sensitive. Yeah, and want to make you feel safe. Yeah. Yeah. And that's all it is. It's about feeling safe. And then you will. Like, you will feel okay to explore all of those things again and all of like whatever like was taken from you will be given back. It just takes time. And that sadly does come from introducing someone else. And that's the like difficult thing because you, you do all the healing and you do all of the like going through the motions and processing and like accepting that that happened and moving on and you then have to bring that

person into the dynamic because that's what you want right eventually you want to be able to you know have sex with someone and not feel scared you want to you want to feel safe with another person but sometimes adding that thing in is the thing that can wobble you more even though you think you've done all the work and all the healing but also like I don't know I think that also like even if you're in your head you think okay when we do like I don't know when we get naked it will be fine. You might get to that first step and that might be like overload. Yeah.

Okay, that's fine. Now you know that's your new like benchmark. I eject here. Yeah. Yeah. It's like slowly, slowly bit by bit. Yeah. You're not going to do it all in one go.

Yeah. And that's okay. And that's really normal. Progressive overload. But don't expect that. Yeah. And you can't go in introducing someone new thinking, yep, it's all going to be good.

I'm fixed. I've done the work. Yeah. Chances are it's not going to be like that. Yeah. And that's fine. As long as you know your boundaries and you know how to articulate them. And maybe that is practicing before you get into the moment so that you know, okay, I've got my kind of like script here of what I say. And as soon as they show you any inkling of not receiving that well, I think you're out of there. Yeah.

Thanks, babe, for voicinating that and for being vulnerable with us. We love you. Love you. Okay. Now it's time for an email. Bloody hell, this is a long one. Okay. I love a long one. I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years on and off and we have a very active sex life. We like trying new things, but lately he's become fixated on one idea.

Having another girl join us. Oh, why is it always the guy who wants another girl to join us? Sorry. This is bad. I already know this is bad. Oh dear. Now, I'm a shy galley. I usually go along with what he says in the moment

because it keeps the mood going, but recently he keeps bringing up during and even after sex. The other night, he was describing another girl joining us in detail and said, you better be serious because I want this to happen. This is giving red flag. I'm so sorry. The thing is, he's always been very possessive and we've only ever been interested in monogamy. Part of me wonders if he already has someone in mind, which makes me question why he's suddenly so eager.

Oh, that is bad boots. I already struggle with feeling like I'm not enough in the bedroom. I don't have much experience with other people and I still can't finish in front of him. I worry that if I say no, he'll be disappointed. but I also think I'd really struggle during and after a threesome if we actually went through with it. I don't have anyone to talk about this and I don't know how to bring it up with him. Do I just do it for the plot while we're young and carefree, or do I risk bursting his bubble and tell him I don't think I can handle it?

We have a really strong relationship, but he's genuinely horny all the time. So I know if we did this once, he'd want it to happen again. I don't think I could do that without ending up resentful. Does him wanting a threason come from just the fantasy of it, or is it because I'm not enough? Even though I'm open to trying pretty much everything else. Yes, even anal, which was awful. Why does it feel like you're taking the biggest shit of your life and committing a crime at the same time? Go question.

What an apt description. I hope this made some kind of sense. I really appreciate your insight because I genuinely don't know what to do. XOXO, XO, A day one galley. A day one galley, Courtney, we love you. We love you. Right. I've got much to say on this.

I must sit up. Much to unpack, actually, here. Now I want to sit up. I'm jealous. Okay. It's giving. Honestly, it's giving. it's giving. He's watched some porn. Yeah, which is a fantasy he's like had, which I don't think

he's alone in. I think many men think that a threesome would be something they would like to experience. Which he has really hyperfixated on. Yeah. And sadly, those hyperfixations have translated to words. Usually that shit does stay inside their head. Yeah. Because I do think most men would think, oh, I wonder how my girlfriend will feel about this. Maybe I should keep that to me. myself and just wipe myself off to it in the bathroom when she's like not here. Or they float it and once it's floated and not received well, then that's it. Because there will be some people that are also curious about that. So you might ask once. And then you might see that it's... I don't know. I don't know if you would ask once.

Because if you have the kind of relationship where from the off, like I think if you are those kinds of people, you'll know pretty quickly. How long have they been together? Three and a half years. And you're telling me they've never had a conversation about three to me. and then all of a sudden he's like, hey. That will happen though. Like, I can, I don't think that's the crazy part. I think it's crazy to actually suggest it for real life. But is it?

Yes. Because a lot of people... Because I think it's one thing to be like, would you think we would ever have a threesome, lull? To be like, I really want a threesome and I... Yeah. There is a difference. Also, they're saying it in like...

Well, no, listen, I think it's up for conversation. You'd better be serious because I want this to happen is not... Well, during sex is a crazy place to bring it up because what's anyone going to say? Like, during. sex also then it's like blurring like kink and like dirty talk like with like actual conversation about like what your boundaries are and what you're interested in and like I don't actually think floating a threesome is crazy I just think it is a conversation and your like relationship has to

come first and it feels like he's forgotten that like he's now taking his kink more seriously than he's taking you in your relationship because you clearly if it's like his way or no way which is kind of what it seems to be yeah and like you're not like you're You've not jumped to say yes. I would call that floating a threesome. No, he's forcing a threesome. He's now forcing a threesome. Yeah.

And that to me is fucking wild. Yeah. Like, really, that is crazy. I would genuinely, on something like this, I would stand on business. If you, it depends. Because you say, should I just do it for the plot? Yeah, if you think he's not your forever person, sure, why not? Go for it.

Or if you think it's not going to, like, deeply impact you. But I think, it sounds like if you're deeply monogamous, it will impact you. And you've kind of had the foresight. to know that. So you would be doing it for him, it sounds like, from this email. It sounds like it would be something you're doing to please him. And I think that's fine if he's not someone that you want to spend the rest of your life with, because I think if you do that, despite the way you know you might feel, you're putting

your relationship in jeopardy. So I think if you do love him and you want to spend the rest of your life with him and a threesome isn't for you, then you're well within your rights to say, that's not for me. Me or the threesome, buddy. Yeah, and I think it's a much bigger conversation of like, if it's not this threesome, yeah. What else will it be? Yeah.

That you're asking me for that I don't feel comfortable to do with you. And is that going to be the theme of our relationship? Because that is a really difficult dynamic to exist in forever, like almost impossible. Because you will always feel like he wants more. And if you can't give him more, he wants more from someone else. Yeah. There's nothing that you can do to fix them. that but if that isn't going to like disappear in him or if you're not going to like you're you're

in these two different camps and if he's only going to ever be asking for more and you're only ever going to be sitting over it like there's going to be that this is not compatible unless what's best case scenario here basically because I think for you best this is a problem both of your you have different best case scenarios so is there a compromise the compromise is he you don't do it and he resents you, that's a bad outcome. And or you do it and you resent him. Right. That's also a bad outcome.

So I'm just saying like this cycle might repeat itself in like a different dress. Yes. If you don't actually get to the crux of the problem. Yeah. Which is that you want different things from your sex life. Yes. And like finding out like what is it about the threesome that turns you on? Like what is it?

Like is it about watching me with someone else? Is it about another person? Is it about the fact that it's taboo? Because I think, like, we simplify these things so much, but often you can take, you can unpick them and the desire can still be found in other places because what you actually want, for example, is, like, say if it is actually about watching you with someone else, then there's, like, then there's, he could watch you

masturbate. Even that, I'm like, I think there's work to be done before we go to the three, so I think we've missed some steps. Like, why can't you come in front of him? No, but that's why, that's what makes me think it's not. I think you need to figure that out. That is genuinely where I start. I'd say, brother, I hear you.

You're raising me a king. But I'm going to take you back to ten of spades because I yet can't come in front of you and maybe we'll do that first. Do you know what I mean? Like, what's that about? Why not? Maybe he's just shit in bed.

Well, then definitely don't have a reason with him. I genuinely, if he's shit in bed, I'd call it a day. If you can't come with him, then... No, but I think that's a lot. Maybe that's like a safety thing because you feel like you're not enough. No, all he's just not putting the yards in. All of her pleasure is based on what he wants.

And that is no place to be pleased from. If everything is like a little, not performative, I'm not saying that you're like bells and whistles, but like if he finds it hot, what do you find her? I think she doesn't find a threesome hot. I think we can all agree that you don't find a threesome hot. I don't think you should do that. And by the way, nor do what.

Like, that's not crazy. I think as well when you are in a relationship where someone It's like, come on. Yeah. Like, why would you not? That's so crazy. I just want to validate you and say, it is not crazy to not want to do that.

Like, at all. There's many things on this earth that you don't actually have to experience if you don't want to. I would say there are many things that you shouldn't experience. The reason is not. Like, you know, if you're a jealous type,

I would say threesome's are something you should not experience. True. It's not good for you. Or it could definitely be with someone you don't give a shit about. Like, if that was something you wanted to do. I wouldn't do it with my boyfriend of three and a half years if I felt that way about him.

Do you know what I mean? There are many other threesomes you could have with people that mean nothing and you can just spend the night with. Yeah. But I don't think that even interests you from what I'm picking in here. But this is the thing.

Would that interest him? Because if it would, then that's a different conversation. Let him. Well, if he wants to have a threesome because he just wants to like... Say he's had a threesome. And like experience having sex for two girls.

maybe this is a horrible thing to say but it kind of sounds like basically if he was single he would be able to do that so he's trying to enforce his single mindset onto you in your relationship by just adding a third person in one it's like that's not the parameters of our relationship so he's not thought about you at all like if you have no interest in having sex with a woman like why would that be something you wanted to do

why don't you say yes to a three in genuine fucking piss me on right yeah bring a guy in who's four inches taller than you with a bigger dick let's do that see how you like it brother. That's not his fantasy. Of course it's fucking not. But things rarely are, you know?

Like, yeah, I just think it's tricky. But I think it sounds like you don't want to do that. So I just think you shouldn't do it. And it's how you communicate with that with him. And that is kind of based on like how, like the legs that your relationship has. Also, I just do want to pick up on you saying we have a really strong relationship, but he's genuinely horny all the time. That is genuinely, I don't know how old you are.

I do think that is something too. seriously consider when you pick your life partner guys. If you have mismatched sex drives. On that extreme, it's different if it's like a little bit like, you know, someone wants one more than the other. Like on a week's, in a week, one person might want one, one session, one person might want two. That's fine. Yeah.

If one person wants one session and the other wants seven or eight, you've got a huge fucking problem there. It genuinely, that is a problem. I do think a mismatched sex drive can cause a lot of problems in a relationship. Definitely. Because everyone has to compromise then You know? All the time.

Yeah. And also then sex becomes something that it should never be which is the topic of an argument. Yeah. Like that is already like that is death for your relationship. Yeah.

So that's also something to consider. I really would, you know, I know that's really hard and sad. Yeah. Like really hard and sad. But yeah. I think you're going to have to have some serious conversations here with your man.

And with yourself. and in the mirror and that is where it always starts. Good luck and let us know how it goes down when you broach this topic with him. Okay, it's time for the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip. We love the galley gossip.

The galley gossip is when people get involved with maybe thought starters from a previous episode. Thought starters, bloody, I didn't realize we were running an NGO, fucking up. Thought starters. Okay. What would you call it?

No, I would call them, I would call them Thorntz Otters. Exactly. I don't have a synonym for Thoughts starters. People send in. Seeds of Ideas. Right. Based on the episode or just bits of tea. Piping, hot tea.

We have had a voice note from a galley who's completely turned her life around and she's got some advice for all of our younger galleys. Hey, galleys. I just wanted to send a voice note in. Quickly tell people that there is light at the end of the tunnel and wherever wherever you are in your 20s, it's fine. There's a journey planned out for you because that's now how I look back at my 20s. I'm 31 and my early 20s was full of fun. I was professional dancer. I lived on my own. So life was lifeing. I hurt my hip, end up having to stop dancing,

which was awful. Found myself in a relationship, which I thought was my love of my life. Found out he was cheating on me or I had my suspicions. We ended up. splitting up. I end up having to move back to my parents, which was awful, whereas had years of being so independent. At that point, I hit rock bottom because when you get to sort of near the end of your 20s, you think your life is going to be completely somewhere else, and, you know, it wasn't. You know, we're coming up to near the end of my 20s, and I'm literally focusing on myself, and I can't stress enough. Find yourself a hobby. Find yourself what you need and what makes. makes you happy without other people. And I promise you, things will just, it's like a jigsaw,

it all come together. I ended up finding my love of my life in the gym where, you know, I really enjoy being. Within three months of being together, I moved into his, with plans of finding a place together, him supporting me changing my career. I'm now a full-time Pilates instructor. And then on top of that, I'm currently sitting here, a couple of years into our relationships, eight months pregnant with our little baby girl who's due in September. So I promise you now to everybody who's like stressing maybe there, you're at the end of your 20s and you're like, what am I doing? It will come together, just focus on yourself and you'll find someone who will meet your same needs,

once and morals. Love you, last. Bye. Wow, babe, congratulations. Congratulations. I hope you call you all. Maybe Ali or G. Oh my God, I hope.

I feel like that voice note was for me. I was going to say, I was approving last week's podcast and you were fucking harping on about waiting for the divorcees and I did just think, you are ridiculous. I am ridiculous.

That's the problem. That's why I'm single. No, that's, it's not. It's actually not. Do you know what it is? It's because you're exactly right. Agali is right. You have to fill your life.

as if you're not waiting for someone because you're not. Like we're constantly told that you're like waiting for this like happy ending or you're incomplete without your other half. And it's like kind of bollocks. So at the moment to my detriment, my life is almost too full. I'm not finding the time. But then as she says, sometimes then it just hits you in the face when you're least expecting it.

You know, in the gym. You're bending over to do a deadlift and then someone's behind you. It is also that thing of like if your vibration is here, you want to meet someone at your vibration. Yeah. It's about energy. You know, it's like, that's why I think,

if you, that's why people always say it comes to a little looking for, if you have the energy of looking and like desperation, I'm so sorry to use that word, but that thing of like, I need, it's the same with money. If you have that mindset. You don't want to meet someone in that headspace. Exactly.

Because they're not the right person for you. Like you make bad decisions from a place of need. I always think that. Where's your Pilates studio? Can we come for a free help? class is really the question. That's what we really need to know because we love lattes. And famously, not a lot of men at lattes. Perfect. Perfect. A safe space. If you want to get involved in next week's galley gossip, send us a DM on Insta or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured.

If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-61797992 or click the link in the episode description. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com. We'll see you next week. Love you, bye. Bye!