Leave A Message with Ally & G - G’s Pub Quiz Date Disaster And Football Fans Are Gonna Hate Us…

Episode Date: June 17, 2026

It’s been a busy week in Ally and G‘s world this week as G FINALLY went on her surprise activity date… her date’s big romantic gesture? We also kick off the start of the World Cup of ICKs as voted for by you our lovely Gallies.PLUS one Gally is spiralling after being rejected, while another is deciding whether she’s cut out for a life of salutes and camouflage.FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Oh, you've reached Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you've been asked about your body count on a first date. Or you're browing out at bowling. This is the podcast for you. Guys, I didn't even bro out at bowling. You did bro out a bit, though.

I wouldn't call it browing out. I would call it like, it was like a nerd off. Like, guys, imagine my hell and horror, my fear, my, my just disdain, when my date suggests a pub quiz, I literally was like, I honestly cannot understand that for love nor money. I've got, like, what is sexy about that? I've got next to no brain cells. The weird thing was, it was like quite intimate.

Like, it was quite a like strong bonding experience. Obviously, but like, could you not have just gone to the pub, no need for the quiz? Well, like, I'm learning that maybe, how do I say this? Nice. External simulation is required. I think he enjoys stimulants, yes, of the, you know. Of the PG kind. Thank you.

We're not talking class A's or B's, or even C's for that matter. Age certificate 12. It's like it's safe stimulants. But I think like the doing he enjoys. I'm actually not much of a doer. He is such a boy in that respect. Yeah. Yeah.

But like guys, literally I'm thinking, so I'm sad. He suggests it. I'm trying to be cool girl. Bearing in mind, I've been assigning. all day. Like I was on my knees and then the signing finish earlier than I thought it was then I just had to hang around for so long. I was doing our expenses and games. Also guys we were like in the back like north

London. North North. Anyway so then by the time he gets there I'm a little dishevelled. I'm feeling a bit like crusty makeup. That's fine. A. M-C-R. What is it? ASMR. AMCR, what's that? Yeah I was feeling a bit just like you know when you've had a day and you're like I don't even have a makeup top of had to run to Sainsbury's by a mint because I thought maybe my breast smells. Guys, this was the day

that she hated her outfit if everyone remembers. I hated my outfit. It was that same day. It was Tuesday. I changed my top. We came, we drove to the pod. Yeah.

Recorded that when she hated that. She then got changed in the car. I looked kind of corporate baddie. Like, I looked like by the time I changed, I was wearing that Abercrombie, the white one that Izzy and I both have, highly suggest. Yeah, highly suggest having that in your wardrobe. But then with like the brown striped,

trouser and my trainer. No, I actually hated myself that day. Every time I caught a glimpse in like a mirror, I was like, no, awful. Fashion police, fashion police. It was so bad. Then anyway, he comes, I'm being like, Miss Cool Girl, La La La La, get in the car. I'm like, so like what was the plan thinking getting ready for bowling? He said, I thought we could do a pub quiz. Literally alarm bells. I'm thinking, I don't know. Did you not say, I don't think. Well, did I not say I've got low IQ? No, I didn't. I don't find that fun. I did. I didn't. I I didn't say that because, like, I don't not find it fun. I just, like, I'm famously thick.

So I was like, this is embarrassing. I don't know a flag if it hits me in the face. I genuinely wouldn't know the capital of any countries. I think I could do all the flags. Capitals are easy. I need to, I'm going to ring the lady that did it and get those flags so you couldn't have done those flags. There was film, like a film round that was so hard.

So many anagrams. Like, guys, this was so, this was more revealing than having, like, intercourse. It was so, like, I felt so unrevelling. Yeah, no, fair. And thank God I really pulled out the park some of the kind of like weird like link. Yeah, the one that you told me, yeah. Like those ones. Like, you know, what do they do it on?

Like House of Games or something where you have like clues for two names and the names need to come together. I cannot do that. I was so good at them. Thank God. So I think it was like the prime minister, it was like a clue for like a prime minister. And the answer was David Cameron. and then it was like a something 1960s gangster or something. So it was David Cam Ronnie Cray, which I got.

I could just never. So thank God I got some points there and actually we didn't come last. But it was like it was a very like intense experience. What were the capital cities? There was no capital cities. There was just flags. There was brands like automobile brands but like you could only see a tiny bit of it. I was so bad at that.

I used to have an app that I just played that. Fun. I love that. You get like a quarter of that. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, I was so bad at that. I didn't, I didn't even know. Once we got the answer, I didn't know, half of them were like,

I didn't even know that was an airline. Do you know what I mean? I was like, I don't know. And then there was like, there was just so many, like, actual, like, general knowledge questions. And like, thank God he was good at, like, the sport and stuff. Otherwise, I'd have literally been in a world of pain. I just think about general knowledge. A lot of my knowledge is not very general.

I've got no general knowledge Like my knowledge is so niche Also who defines what is general knowledge Because I don't know Or general like broad sweeping Yeah but sometimes the general knowledge questions Like aren't actually that fucking general They're quite niche

Well all I suppose they're just so bizarre That they're like Can you remember any of the questions? I actually love quitted See this is the thing You're saying like it's so bad I don't want to do that I don't find that fun Sorry hold on

I don't want to do it on a day I would do it in the comfort of my own home potentially with my family over the Christmas dinner table. Over the festive period. Do you know people do pub quizzes? The team that won so much money. I know. It was heaving as well.

We only just got a table. The pub's on in Clapham. Wednesday night. Yes. You'd be stretched to get a table in Clapham on a Wednesday night. Can I just say as a group of two, there was two of us obviously, not coming last was pretty impressive. I agree.

I agree. And there should be limits on how many people can compete as one team. They had like there was a, The team that won had six. Unfair advantage. But that's usually the max, isn't it? I think that is probably the max. But then there should probably be a min

or like a kind of like sixes don't go against twos. Or we should have teamed up with another team but then that would have been awkward because we're still getting to know what I think. I think it's a good premise. I can't even say his name out loud, you know what I mean? So like we're not on that level.

Yeah. To be then socialising maybe. Listen, don't get me wrong. I think pub quiz is lovely for maybe like, you know, seven, eight dates in, possibly not date two. I wouldn't have gone straight. with the pub quiz. Okay, but devil's advocate, having now done it, can I just say it's one of those where

it's like, do it early doors and you might learn nothing or two that you want to know early on. It's like going on holiday early. I always suggest an early holiday. You learn so much that you don't want to learn in six months time when you've wasted your time. I learned a lot about him and myself in that quiz. What did you learn about yourself? I learned that I really need to read a map. Yep.

I learned that I've got to look at a map. I learned that I'm, I learned, I'm actually quite shy. In situations like that, I'm so shy. I'm literally like, you know, like when like, like he's quite a confident person. So like, I don't know, like there were moments where like you had to like, you know, there were rounds, like extra bonus rounds when you had to kind of like shout out. I'm mortified. I could not.

It was like me going back to school where I like would have raised my hands. I know exactly what you mean actually. Like, do you know what I mean? Like I'm like, oh, I'm actually like a bit embarrassed that everyone's like looking at. I have this sometimes like, I can't remember the last time this happened. But like, you know, when you're like, I have this a lot, especially, like, not that I'm on my own very often doing things things, but obviously because I spend my life with G, when you're in a position and like you have to go around and be like, and someone's like, tell me one interesting thing about you. I literally, that is my actual idea of living here. Yeah.

Some people are so good at that. Yeah, I know. And they just like talk about themselves so freely and I'm like, oh my God, no, no, I could never. Yeah. Never. Yeah, I felt like quite like. I had it. I know when I had it on my speed awareness call.

Oh, I hate that. That is awful. And now, Alexandra, could you tell us one reason why you might be speeding? I can't do that. I can't do that. No, even in the beginning, tell us a bit about yourself and where you're from. I don't know. Can't say anything. Can't say anything. Of course you can't. Also, what are you going to say? Content creator. Buh. Awful. I drive a bit fast. That's all you need to know. Do you know what I mean? I speed. I have been known to speed. Anyway, yeah, I don't know. Let me know what you think, girls, about pub quiz for a

second date, yay or nay. I do genuinely think growing out of bowling might have been better. Nah. Nah. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've got affliction to bowling. What is that?

It's an allergy. Why? Everything about it is forced fun. It's because you're bad. So it's a pub quiz. No, because a pub quiz, like, at least you like to engage with it. Like, I don't find, like, moving my arm back to front, like, engage it. It's dull

And it's the same thing every time Because she's bad at it I'm embarrassed So good Mini golf Min golf a little bit more challenging You know why she likes that Because she's good at golf

Oh See I tell you Here it is The reason she hates bowling Is because clearly she's shit at bowling Have you ever seen me bowl I'm amazing at bowling And that's why it's boring for me

Strike strike strike Don't Right well Let's do an episode Inobola now Let's see we can put it to the test Let's put it to the test I'm so good at bowling

I just can't see it myself you're good at bowling. You're not very sporty. Do you know what's actually so sad? I actually am. I actually am. No, you're good of fitness. What do you mean by sporty? I'm not going to team sports. I'll give me that. I actually famously hate team sports.

Yeah, exactly. But that doesn't mean that you have to be more as sporty. Sporty is playing sports. Athletic is... Pink pong table tennis. I'm good at table tennis. Yeah, you are good at table tennis. She's famously shit at table tennis. I'm so bad at table tennis. The ball's too small. Can't see it.

I mean... Bowling ball. was huge, see where it's going. Literally, I'll bet so much money on the fact that I would beat you rid of bowling alley. Okay. Are you good? No, I'm shit. But I don't mind I can tally the score.

I don't want to be involved in this business, please. Yeah, in this beef. Yeah, maybe I would lose, who knows? Backtracking, okay. I love a backtrack. I like to be an underdog. Yeah, yeah, no, no, no, no, I'm actually really not like me. My favorite thing is being an underdog.

Like, even before the pub quiz, I was like, no, I'm so. bad at quizzing and then I was actually like, okay, do you know what I mean? That's good. I think it's good. Set them up for failure. Undersell. Yes, agree. Overdeliver.

Agree. That's my new tactic in life, actually. Good. I'm so bad. I'm so busy. I've got no time for you and then suddenly you like spend three like times like three weeks in a road with them and you think, God I'm such a good friend. Do you know what I mean? Yes.

The bar is low and then you can go in high. I say this. Keep the bar low. Yes. For yourself and for other people. Exactly. Yeah. How was your week?

Oh, one of those wasn't. No, I just can't really remember. or anything. I feel like last week was a bit of a blur. I know. Obviously other were the... Oh yeah, well, because Thursday, well, we went to Manchester.

That was so fun. Big up. Olivia and Izzy became BFFs, but we always knew that they would. We loved watching you two talk in a corner. I'm obsessed with her. I know, and we literally said, Olivia, you were going to love Izzy

and then she was like, I love Izzy. And we were like, yeah, of course. No, I'm obsessed. Because you're both of the girls. You're so good. It's kind of a bit of a bitch in a fun way. Really good. So we had a little bit of a bitch.

Yeah. I think to bond over a bitch is really good. As we should. No, no. Of course we didn't. No, no, I'm actually all for that. I do think, you know, team building exercises is having a common enemy. Yeah, agree.

That's actually good. No, but you're at how common loves. It was like, oh, they're just so easy to work with. Oh, I love that. Yeah, there is. That is shocking. Can't believe Olivia said that. She's lied there.

I can believe you said that. We are famously easy to work with on this pod. But anywhere else, we're not. Because we're in nightmares. Because we never know where we are or what we're doing. I thought that this morning. I thought, oh my God. I literally don't know my head from my head from my head.

I hate to tell you. What are you slagging me off today? Go on. Trello. Oh, I know. I hate it. You got to find a way to turn that hate to love, sis. Or maybe not love, indifference. Because I think you miss stuff. I don't want to go on there.

Well, that's the problem. I like the calendar. But famously, there's not much... Just saying, the lack of cross-pollination into the calendar. Sometimes. Yeah, because it's meant to be on Trello. Olivia. It's On Trello.

Use Trello. You've got to get on Trello. Everyone said that they were going to put all the details in the calendar. That was agreed. I know, but there's loads of shit on there. Gifting's not in the calendar. True. There's loads of things on there.

I hate to tell you. Olivia, it wasn't just me. It wasn't just me. Olivia said you can't avoid Trello on the train. So I'm just reiterating. I'm just being told off left, right and centre. Watching Wivals.

One more episode. Oh, you've only got one left. Yeah. I've only watched three. It is fucking. I'm currently episode six. It's crazy. Oh, why do they do this?

What? It's going to be episode six, and then you've got to wait three months. I absolutely despise it. Really? Yes. It's a mid-season finale at episode six and you've got to wait for the following six episodes.

Yeah, babe. My response precisely. I don't like that at all. I don't like that. I don't know who designs this. I don't know how it helps with viewership. I don't know what's happening, but I don't like it. Because they want to like build hype.

No, no, no need. Because also by the time it comes, I don't give a shit anymore. By the time it comes, I'll be something else to watch. I've forgotten all the bloody characters and all their stories. I know. I know. I know.

I know. I know. I know. And the guy I was with, we had to watch... This stranger I met on the Jew. I just sort of hung out with. But I had to watch a recap on YouTube. It was really embarrassing.

Of course it is. Because it's so confusing. I hate it. I actually hate it. Same with House of the Dragon. Like, what the fuck? That came out so long ago. So what is...

Is this a new season? Yes, it's a new season. I was in Bali when House of the Dragon came out. That was two years ago. That's like euphoria. I just think, guys, Well, did you cut your loss? Guys, I finish you for it.

It's the bleakest thing I've ever watched. It's not had great reviews. Whole life. It's so, so depressing. There was no need, I don't think, to make it that dark, that very, very dark. It was not good. Really? No, I finished it feeling a bit like I might not sleep tonight.

Okay, I don't need to watch that. I don't think you should do. I don't think just stop at season two. Don't bother with season three. But this is what I mean. Cut your losses. I don't know how it works and I don't know why you commissioned it to come out five years later but I don't think that that's actually very

well I think the problem was obviously they'd started filming and then they lost the actor that played fairs so then I think maybe everything had to change well also like everyone was booked Zendaya was booked like every city's week like they were all just like booked working on other shit yeah and so I think we can really see that by this point just no no need I honestly finished it and you know when you finish the series and you're just kind of like this oh I feel really bad about that like I wish I wouldn't have spent eight hours of my life

feeling that bleak. So yeah, don't recommend to a friend unless you want to go into a deep depression. I've just seen a lot of the reviews being like basically Sidney is the only one that really's acting.

Oh. And Zendaya, sorry. That's a wild. Apparently Jacob Laudy is basically playing himself. Nah, Jacob Lauddy's hardly in it. He's got an awful story arc. He, you honestly couldn't

get Marlon Brando to act that well. He literally just has to be in pain the whole time. He's just acting pain. he's losing fingers he's losing limbs I don't need to no that's not right

Sydney Sweeney actor of that she wouldn't have got my MVP personally not MVP but just like you know that basically Zendaya and Sydney were the only two really that were like still invested in their characters I don't know

I think it was the writing I hate to say it don't blame the what is it don't blame the workman blame the tools Yes a workman is only as good as his tools Exactly yes

Anyway finish all your TV series because something big is about to happen. Football crazy. Football man. This is the World Cup of Ix. To celebrate England's first match

today against Croatia, we're throwing our own Lamb World Cup but not a football of Ix. Obviously not a football. Sorry, but I do just want to say I fucking love the World Cup and I feel like this World Cup's going to be under the

Radar. Well, it's because it's in LA. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And they don't famously give a shit about football. It's not right. I just think it's all a bit clean in LA to have the World Cup. I don't know. I just think it's all a bit like neat. Well, it's just so weird because like in America they play American football, which is soccer, which is obviously. So I'm like, they've just. But they are in the World Cup obviously. They have soccer. It's the same. It's not the same game. Soccer is NFL. No, soccer's football. Cut, cut, cut, cut. I hope I'm not in your pub question. Soccer is football. No, no, if you were talking about American football, soccer is football. They just call it soccer.

No, I know, but the main sport is American football. Oh, I see. They're not like a footballing nation. They're like, well, David Beckham went to LA Galaxies, didn't it? Yeah, they do. They have football teams. They have some teams. They do, but they're not, you know, I wouldn't say that they're world-class.

Are they not? No, they're not playing like, no. I mean, neither are women. apparently at the moment. Shit show. Exactly. Got many, many thoughts. So get off your high horse sister.

Because you know, you don't want to you're saying to be you. I'm just saying like I think that, you know, I think it's... How do they draw it? It's just sticks. Who gets to host the World Cup? I think it's a bid. Yeah, it's like a bid. Got it.

And then they decide because it was Qatar wasn't it last time. Got it's also not a footballing country. It'll be bougie though. All the celebs will be there. Well, have you heard this whole beef? Sorry, you know, not to make this a sports podcast. But the whole thing is that basically like they, number one, no one can get a visa to America. So like basically none of the tickets are selling.

And they're also selling for like thousands and thousands of hands. Wait, why do you need a visa? Go to America. Just for a trip? Yeah. Yeah. As in like for what a week? Yeah.

Yeah. Is it? Yeah, babe. I thought that would be if you were staying for like a month. No, no. What if you enter, like even because when we're going on holiday, my mom was like, don't fly. Even if you stop over, you have to get a visa. Yeah.

Why are they making the money? them hard to get. Don't they want the footfall? For the World Cup? He's not asked. That's just like the blanket rule. So I think they've not like changed it for the World Cup. And also the other beef is that normally the in New York, the subway fare to like from central New York, yeah, to the stadium is like $12. Yeah. It's like $250. And it's like obviously no one can, like it's just so mad. Anyway. Anyway, by goodbye. That's why we've taken this World Cup from football into Ix. Thank you. We ask the galley to send in their absolute worst X.

And over the next few episodes, we'll be knocking them out one by one until we crown the ultimate champion. Okay, producer Izzy is going to now pass us the bag of names so we can make the draw. Can I just say as just like a disclaimer, I loki don't believe in X. Well, read some of these in your mind. This might actually change my mind.

So I'm going to pick two, you pick two. Yeah, so these are going to be next episode's matches. So it'll be your first draw for, be my first draw. Yeah. Okay. You go first? Sitting in the bath. This is from Kate.

Kate, see, this is why I don't believe in X. What do you mean? I don't think this is a big. Do you want him to stand? No, it's so true. Okay, imagine a man. Imagine Raw. Naked in the bar.

Imagine a man. Imagine Raw. Yeah. He's naked in the bath, but the water's not quite high enough. Offer. What to cover dilly? Not covering enough. And like it's everything's a bit flaccid and he's sat.

And maybe the water isn't even soapy. Guys, you need to be with someone for a long time. That sort of shit will stop bothering you. Everyone's got to sit in the bath. Imagine standing. Screaming on a roller coaster, Laura. That is a good battle there. That's match one.

Okay. Okay, match two. Oh, okay, this is good. Tries too hard on Instagram. Selfies. Jim selfies. I pick up what you're putting down. Who's that from?

Han. Han. Thank you, Han. Carrying an umbrella, Faye. I had this conversation with my date the other day. Really? Yeah, because he was like, I just think carrying an umbrella is no good.

Because I had an umbrella. I think we need some clout. Like, what? I'm obviously an ick. I was carrying. carrying my umbrella. Why is that an ick? I don't know.

I think, you know, when it, when it turns inside out in the wind. Long fingernails from Lisa. Clock it. Fucking clock it. How long we talking, Lease? Just long enough for you to notice that they're long. Waving, Georgia. We've had this before.

Waving? Waving. Now you do that, I do. I understand that. Not like that. That is, what is this? I love this. Okay, interesting. That's a hard one.

Okay, licking an ice cream from Anna. I'm dead. What with the dribble down there? Yeah, okay, got it. Got it. I see what you're saying. Where's invisible socks, Sarah? You know the socks. Yeah. Like the little, like ballet pump socks. In next week's episode, sitting in the bath and screaming on a roller coaster will go head to head. As well as, tries too hard on Instagram and carries an umbrella. So they're going to battle it out to see which two Ix

will make it to the semi-final. Okay, join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, galleys, welcome back. Okay, what will we call the galley? Well, what will we call the galleys this week? We better call them an England football player's name. Harry, Harry, for Harry Kane, Captain of England. Sure.

Gotta be. Gotta be. Okay, let's hear our first voice note. Girls love the podcast. I think you're both amazing. Yeah, going through quite a predicament at the moment. So I went on two dates with this girl. I thought it was going really well. She was talking about future dates, you know, saying that we wanted to kiss each other, like lovely stuff like that. And yeah, she seemed really keen. And then I tried to organise a third date. And she said basically that she didn't see any long term potential or sort of it going any further. basically. I guess my question is like, how do you not take it personally? Like, how do you not take people not wanting any further dates personally? Because I really do. And I'm always like, the first thing that I go to is like, is it to do with like my looks or is it to do with me? Like, did I mess up? It's always like, I always focus it on me. And I'm finding it really hard.

Like that situation with her, granted I probably got too attached because, it was only two dates, but it's really set me back. Like, I don't want to date at all at the moment. So, yeah, any help would be appreciated. Thanks, Gars. Oh, babe. I had this recently. And it was really, it's sometimes, also, it's like you're kind of embarrassed at the feelings you're having because you feel like it's not that deep because you don't really know them. But sometimes it feels worse. Like, when you're in the first throes of dating someone and especially because it's, like, in my experience, can be quite difficult to feel like a connection with someone and to actually like like like like someone when you're like dating in this like modern world.

Sometimes when you have two really good dates, you get a bit like you feel almost it more like strongly because you actually don't yet know properly how you feel about them. Say like six dates in. You might be able to be, you might have more reasons why they're not for you as well as you not for them. So you can almost like justify a bit more when it all breaks off.

Whereas I think when it's early and you haven't yet decided but you like the way it looks and you like the potential of it, when they then reject you, it is so savage. Like when that guy messaged me after that second day, I was like, oh my God, heartbroken,

can't believe it. Like, what? I thought we were onto a good thing. So I think don't beat yourself up for feeling that way. Because I definitely had that, like recently this guy, we'd been on like two dates and then he was just like,

yeah, it's not for me. And I think the default is to take it personally and obviously be like, there's something wrong with it. me. But what I tend to do is to like flip it and imagine if I was dating someone, like all of the vast reasons why I might not want to go on a third date. Like it might just be like that there was like one thing that they said that an ex did that I really don't like or it might be like that

I am just getting like friend feelings. Like it's not that they're not attractive. It's just like, I just don't know that I'm feeling it. Like all these like crazy things. You might just be busy. like you yourself can date someone and not want it to go any further so then you can kind of give them the same grace and understanding and be like it's a them thing like it's not to do with me because you can't be for everyone and everyone can't be for you does that make sense yeah and i do think like obviously you know i'm not in it but i'm seeing it very much like secondhand all the time i think i actually think that in doing it earlier makes it even even more not about you.

I think that if you were six, seven dates in and then they say, then yeah, I actually think that must feel more like it's to do with you because now they really know you and like they've really seen you. And I think I think everything that she said is right about like, you know, you never, ever know what the other person is thinking, feeling. Like I think that I'm again only coming at this from like an onward like I'm looking on. But I think especially in the age of like dating apps and like there's a lot of like everyone's making assumptions and filling in a lot of gaps and a lot of myth of information without actually any concrete evidence. And I think that can, you know, like turn into something that is just so far from the reality of what's actually happening for that other person.

It could also be that they like met someone else on another day and then they actually decided, wait, maybe like I don't want to string her along to why because I act you know like there's just there's so many things that could have happened and obviously it feels about you course it does like there's no denying that and I actually don't think there is much of a way to get round that other than trying to like stay rooted in fact and like I guess like building up your own like self-esteem so that when you are like dating you're like I know that whoever I decide to be with and whoever decides to be with me is so lucky to be with me. And like, I will also make that decision and I'll be lucky to be with them. So whoever doesn't see that and doesn't get me and I don't

hit whatever criteria they've created. Because I think you're right about the dating up thing. I think it's also like everyone's setting like these like bars and these like boxes. It's like we literally like create now. We've got so much fucking choice that you can literally create like a questionnaire full of these tick boxes that like, can limit you so much and make you look past someone that actually could be really great for you. Like you don't know what her like criteria is, what she's dating with in mind. So like you, it's not on you to be perfect for her. Do you know what I mean?

That doesn't make you any less like brilliant or like fantastic, beautiful, like all of these things. So I think as long as you know that and you know that like she's got her stuff and that's fine and I've got mine, then it is about you, of course, because it is a personal rejection and it's right to feel that way because that like it's happened to you. But at the same time, it's all about her really

and her decision making and you'll never know what was going on in her life. And actually you don't need to know. No, you don't need to know. I don't think it helps you to know. I just think you have to like take it on the chin and you have to, babe, take it from me.

You have to get back on the horse. You can't not date because of that rejection because you're going to reject people, you're going to be rejected again. And if you let it become more than it is, then it will be too scary to date again because you'll be so fearful of that rejection. So it's like falling off a horse. You've got to get back on. I also just want to pick up on what you said about getting attached really quickly

because I think this might also be contributing. You know, like it is that thing of like being two dates in and being like, oh wait, this is the love of my life. and like I'm so like in. But even if it's not the love of your life, it's just when it's a good one. It's really hard because there's so many shit ones. There's a way to differentiate between a really good date and like having that experience of like a really like positive like,

oh my God, this could, this could, operative word could have legs. Yeah. Rather than being like, I'm falling. Cause. I think you need to find a way if you can to like separate. Because I think she said like I get attached really quickly. I think a way to do that is rather than like just, I have a friend that does this so badly

and I'm like, you know, we have this conversation all the time. Stop like thinking about what could, oh my God, and in the future. The potential. Yeah, just what's happening right now, what are you feeling right now? And just enjoy that for what it is right now. And think, yeah, this could go somewhere for sure. This is amazing. I haven't felt like this in a long time.

But that doesn't mean I'm planning our wedding. You know, like I do think there's a way to stop yourself getting to that point. Yeah. Okay, now it's time for an email. Sit back and relax, sis. One sec. Must rob this. You must.

Hey girls. Had to write an email because whenever I talk about this, I cry. Oh, my heart. I have been with my perfect boyfriend for three years. He's fun, intelligent, ambitious, the most caring and thoughtful person in the world and gives me major princess treatment. Clicks. I am so, so, so, so, so. We both recently graduated from uni, so live one and a half hours apart at home with parents.

But we planned for me to move over to him in a couple of years. The problem. He's just applied to join the army. Oh my God. Triggered. I'm triggered. Fucking hate to hear. Okay.

Oh my God. What a trigger. It's like looking in the mirror. He's going to be based four hours away in Essex. My dream has always been to have a big family, so I wouldn't want to bring my future children up far away. from my family. One and a half hours would be so doable, but four hours is way too far

and Essex is not somewhere I see myself living. This is so weird. I know. Even if he was based elsewhere, I don't know if I'd be able to cope with him being in the army as he would be away a lot. Oh, God.

So I would feel lonely and have to bring kids up by myself and I'd constantly be worried sick for his safety. I'm also scared I'd always resent myself for compromising my family. dream. However, I love him so much that I don't want to hold him back from achieving his dreams. So my question to you is, do I, she's given us three options. I love this type A, convince him

not to join. B, compromise on my dream to be with the man of my dreams. C, break up with him so we can both achieve our dreams even though it would absolutely break my heart. Oh, she's put a picture of them. God bless. They're so sweet. P.S. obsessed with you girls and the bod pod and my bod. and your fit fit bods and the pod, sorry can't wait to read G's book Love you Oh baby, you both look so cute

Oh you're so beautiful Oh no I'm going to cry For context If you haven't been listening To the pod for a long time And you don't know us Alan Raw were long distance for three years At uni

And my ex was in the military Long distance roughly It was actually longer than four hours Yeah well Four on a good day 3.45 without the stop at the services. On a bad day. Who is driving three hours, 45 minutes without the need to stop for water or a week?

Many times. Because I just thought, this is Helen Horro. Get me there, autopilot. It's not good for you. Cruise control, I'm like this. It's not good for anyone. I really don't, I don't, it's different to, you know, fly. Half an hour flight it was, Bristol to Newcast.

You can't be driving four or five hours each way. It's not right. What a waste of luck. Think of all the things you can be. I know. Well, I was lucky actually, because my. did like fair play tim take up a lot of the brunt of the driving. I didn't do it that often. Obviously. He came to me. But like, do you know what I mean? But like, no, it's, it's hell.

And like on some days he would arrive at mine and I would look at him and I'd be like, you hate me today. You hate that I live here today. Well, yeah, course. Course. And like, it's really hard not to, to be honest. Oh, babe, this is so hard because I don't, I want to talk to you from like me in it rather than me out of it. Do you know what I mean? Yes. Because I think like hindsight is a beautiful thing. But I think that's what you need to give her because she doesn't have the, she's in it.

So she needs someone out of it. She can see all the things that she's seeing that you will also have seen. Okay. Shall I talk practically about being an army wife? Because that is something I can speak on. Not that I was ever married to my ex. Not that I ever did it. Not that I was ever a good army wag.

I was so reluctant. But this is what I know from being around it and seeing it. And like spending time with actual. army wives. Actual army wives, okay? Like lock in, it's really fucking hard. And like, I don't say that just to be like hammering home the stereotype. It really is difficult because, yes, they are away a lot. Yes, you worry for their safety. Yes, sometimes you can't contact them. Yes, it's lonely. And yes, it's like a particular type of lifestyle choice. But if you know all of the those things and you're prepared for them, there is also a lot of

good in it. Benefits of being a part of that community. They really look after you. You also will have a lot of peers, wags, friends that are in exactly the same boat as you. Most like bases will go above and beyond for the families of the people that are away that are like training in the military that like, you know, have private. outside of the family that they can't be there for you. They will, they will provide a lot for you. So, like, it's not, like, it's not awful. And some people, like, genuinely do enjoy having

that space from each other and coming back together. Like, it does work for some people. It's not personally for me. I hated every moment. Personally, can't think of anything fucking worse. And I think if you, I don't know what your career is, but I think if you're thinking about raising children, and that is going to have to be based around where he is positioned, and that might move. So he might be able to bid for a base that is closer to your family, great, but he might not be there forever. And sometimes you have to be quite transient and quite able to move around

because they don't have a lot of say in where they're positioned. So you are often at the mercy of these kind of like higher powers. And I would say if you do really care about achieving your own dreams, that might be difficult. whilst also facilitating his job because it's a big job and it's one that does often take presidents. I basically just think you have to know the enormity of what you're signing up for, whether you're signing up to be long distance in the difficulty of that or whether you're signing up to move for him. And it feels like you know all of those things.

So the answer comes down to what would you rather have given up in five years time? him or your career this is where I'm coming from I think I listen I love your options I think there are a couple more options on this list I do too I think we might have

DEFG honestly okay I think number one convince him not to basically I think what will happen especially because you're young I think it would be different if like you've just left uni basically I think it might

you might feel differently if you were like in your late 20s you'd like experienced like your own shit first both of you maybe you're, you'll worry about resenting him or yourself wouldn't be so, like, severe. But I think because you're in this situation, I think the main issue is that if you try and convince him not to join, he will resent you. If he, if you compromise on yourself, you, you will resent him.

There's basically no good outcome here unless you are going to fully martyr yourself or he's going to fully martyr himself. Or you don't actually care. Like as in like you, if you care, yes, but if you, if it's one of those things where you just like think you should, like that's the question to ask yourself maybe. Like I even had that moment where I was like, am I going to move out of London and be with him? Because what are we doing? My answer was no because I did want my career more. But I think we can assume that your answer is no because she did say I'm also scared I'd always resent himself for compromising my dream. So I feel like that is like if you, you you if you really feel that way, then yeah, I think you will both resent each other. Options A and B, basically, end up in resentment. Yeah. So option C, break up with him. I think there's a step before that.

I think, I think, honestly, I think you have to let him try. Yeah. I also think you can try long distance. I was going to say, I think you have to let him try, and I think you have to try long distance, and I think you have to see the toll. it might not be that bad. Also, you're talking, I just want to like bring you off the ledge a tiny bit

when you're talking about the kids thing. He might not be based in Essex forever. They move around a lot. So like... But he also might not be in the army forever. He might do three years and hate it. I have friends that did it for four or five years and thought, fuck this, I want a normal life.

Exactly. That's also not guaranteed. Yeah. So no need to break up with him before the horse has even got out the fucking stables. You know what I mean? There are some joys to long distance. genuinely there are.

Many joys. Yeah, many hardships. Many hardships, many joys. Many joys. Maybe actually, before you do any of this, there is a conversation that you can have with him to basically say exactly what you've said to us and said, I love you, like I don't want to lose you.

You're perfect. Yeah. But I also love myself. And I don't want to like give up on my shit for your shit, basically. Words to that effect. As you probably don't want me to do either. Right. So can we have an agreement

that if you sign up to the army we will review it and give it a limit in two to three years I think at that point we will both have a good understanding also you will understand way more about what it actually entails to live that life and like have him be away

do the long distance yeah I think that if it gets maybe you need to put a time I always say this about long distance long distance only really works if there's like an end point and so if you can start with an end point Yeah. And then see how you go.

Maybe you, you know, he might hate it. Yeah. Then at least there's been like a conversation in the beginning so that when you get there, neither of you were like, but I thought we agreed to do this. But we agree to do this within the parameters of you only doing it for five years. It's all about the communication around the problem, not the problem itself. Yeah. Yeah.

Until it becomes about the problem itself, to be honest. You can't communicate anymore. Yeah. Or you can't stomach it or you can't sacrifice or you can't do the fucking drive or you can't live with the like stress of him but you like unless it until the point until the problem becomes like unavoidable I think there is a way around it yeah agree so don't worry babe it's not abc it's a bc d e fg yes exactly it's a full fucking alphabet out here girls so good luck good luck love you okay it's time for the galley gossip this is where the galie's come

message in and comment. It's basically, you know, lowbrow, goss. We love. So we've got a voice note from Wren. I love the name, Ren. Great name. Where a family tree gets very complicated. This is my fucking favorite thing of all time. Hi, Gallis. I just wanted to leave a message. When you were talking about being a teenager and all the dramas in your latest episode, this reminded me of it. So I was probably about 14, 15. I'd just broken up with my first pretty toxic boyfriend. I was devastated. I was heartbroken. And I went to a house party. None of my school friends were there. It was people from like a different social group entirely. And, you know, I drank. We had a good time. And it was back in like 2009 where you would add everybody that was at the party onto Facebook.

So the next morning I wake up, I'm adding everybody on Facebook. And then I get a message from my ex going, why have you invited such and such? And I was like, oh, because we vibed at the party. And he replied like that's my girlfriend. I was like, oh, sorry, that's weird, but also wasn't intentional. Anyway, they start going out, fine. And then a few months later, it turns out his mom and her dad are also dating. Anyway, thought you'd like that gossip. Have a good one. Bye. I love that. That's like that film. Yeah. Well, it's all so awkward, isn't it? Because it'll advise for not illegal. Oh, like technically no one's done anything wrong. Oh, like not even. I say not even ill-advised.

Well, I suppose it's weird. I say not ideal. Ill-advised. No, dating your steps, they're but it's weird. That's weird. But it depends who was together first. No, because imagine if you get the film you liked, I remember London calling or something, what was it called?

Yeah, what was it? But it depends, because if you're then going to get married and then like... No, no, but as in, sorry, in the film, for example, the parents went first and then the kids, don't get me wrong, that is ill-advised. That's ill-advised. But if the kids were together first... And then the mum and dad means. Ill advice.

Ill advice on the parents part. Not my problem. That I've got psychotic mum and you've got a psychotic dad. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? I do. You know, whoever calls dibs, really.

First is not in the wrong. It's not, that's not an advice. But then you've all got to sit around a table together and be like, guys, one of us has got to break up. Surely this is wild. Are you shagging and we're shagging?

That's not right. Is it? I don't know. Yeah, you're going to be that family in the village. Yeah, exactly. It's not right. And the kids are like, oh, granny and granddad.

but like, who side? Because they're not blood related. Exactly, but they're together. No, no, listen, I'm not saying, you know, I'm not advocating. Imagine your mum's dad. Yeah, no, no, listen. And your dad's mom. There, your granny and granddad.

They lived together. It's like if James had children and that. And you shagged it. Yeah, yeah. Listen, no, no, I just want to say this. I'm not advocating shagging your steps. I'm just saying. That's a flex.

So sorry, can I just say that that's your ex and that's happening to him? You just be like, ha-ha, look for mess. Karma, yeah. Loser. Brilliant. Yeah. If you want to get involved in next week's Gally Gossip,

then please send us a DM on Insta or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. If you've got a story or a dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-61797992 or you can click the link in the episode description. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com.

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