Leave A Message with Ally & G - G’s Weird Hen Do KISS & Is This The Best Hinge Prompt Ever?!

Episode Date: July 29, 2026

This week at LAM Limited, Ally's had a bit of a wake-up call after receiving not one, but two wedding invitations from friends who got engaged after she did. While Ally is blissfully procrastinating her big day, G has just returned from a hen do in Italy with a suspiciously high snog count. Not only that, one of the guys even licked her? Plus, one Gally is trying to crack the queer dating scene after falling victim to the dreaded third-date curse, while another is wondering how to stop turning every first date into a sexy sleepover.FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ali and G are on the way. Gallies, before we get into this episode, if you need some big sister wisdom, you need to check out Tony told me. Tony is here to guide you through life one episode at a time with honest advice on everything from breaking the habit of people pleasing to handling family pressures in your relationship. Make sure you've got the latest episode lined up

to play straight after Leave a Message. Hello, you have reached Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we have a podcast where we have. Help the galleys in need. Whether you're a certified basic bitch because you've fallen victim to the viral mu-moo-sunnies.

Or zebra wedges. Or your sex is so passionate. Your neighbours are complaining. This is the podcast for you. Really good. Okay, I just want to start by just understanding how people are actually doing this. Right.

Doing what? Right. I got engaged the last weekend. of April. Yeah. And my two, in my grayling, basically, the girls I used to work with at a PR at my, in a past life, I used to work with him at a PR company. Ali actually did have a nine to five guys.

No, no, a proper, for three, four years I did that. Fucking out, what a waste of time that was. Apart from the fact, it gifted me a group of seven girls that I literally will have forever. Anyway, I got engaged. Bear in mind, like the other three, they're engaged, married, whatever. I got engaged last week of April. when I say

I got engaged the Wednesday one of the other ones got engaged the Thursday and then the other one got engaged on the Friday and we all gave each other on the group chat like a buffer

so the day that we were posting on the group chat was not the day that we all got engaged because we were all trying to like not step on each other's toes Were you second? I was first Oh you went first

I was first I just want everyone to know I was first and when the third one Miller posted in the group so I posted then Flora posted and I was like lull and I remember thinking Miller is going to get engaged

This is too weird. And then she posted lucky number three. She has all, she have just literally just received. It's an invite. It's not even a save the date, babe. Oh sorry, it is a save the date. Save the date.

That's okay, but we could do that. I know we actually couldn't. She got, how? Also, I've got a lot of information. She's booked a venue. She's put to bad and she's put to her camera. Yeah, I know she's put her to her caterer. She's basically booked everything.

How are you doing that? Well, and I'm not, this is nothing against you. I'm not criticising you. I know I'm slow. You were slow off the mark. I know. Like, Al was in the fucking changing room while the girls were like warming up on the tracks. You know what I mean?

Like you were still tying your laces whilst these girls, you fannyed around a bit for a while. I did fanny around in my like avoidant. Well, you were just a bit like engaged, engaged, engaged, which I think is really nice. She's, Lydia prejuvenation's done. I know. They must literally. This is our skin lady who also got engaged around the same time as. She got engaged a week.

after me actually. Yeah. And everything is booked for Lydia. Like, no, no, no, but she is,

she's actually scary type A. Like, she's type double A battery. Like, she is wild. Like, I love it for her.

But I did ask her when I saw her last week, I was like, so what are you thinking? Like, obviously I'm like in my la la la land. Like, so like,

what are your thoughts? Alston and like, you know, like venue search. Spitballing. Yeah. Yeah. She goes, well, we've booked everything.

And I was like, what did, what do you mean? She was like, yeah, venue book, date booked, everything's booked. Invitations sent out. She'll have her dress next month.

She said she's going to dress shopping. I don't understand. And then I was trying to really, you know, like fucking make myself feel better because I was like these, listen, this is no defamation to anyone with a nine to five. I think it helps you. Because at 5pm you can clock off. Yes. And then you do your wedding.

Like Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, you genuinely could sit down five till nine and do weddman. Yes. I can't do that. You were also avoidant though. Very. There's loads you would rather do. Obviously, I'd rather do anything else. Literally.

Literally. Literally anything else. But now you've got a lovely wedding planner. I do. She's called Jemima from Maison Lila. I have to just, she also, she's kind of scary. Fine, good. And good.

As she should be. Because we sent over this, this is classic thing as well. Like I sent a short list that was like 20 venues. She was like, I would try and cut this down if I were you. Claire. Okay. Sorry, Jemina. You're the boss.

All right. It's not my day. No, no. Thank God. And I need someone like that. Exactly. So now you're on the right path. I cannot believe I've just got to save the day.

The thing is, I actually thought we could do your save the dates, but we can't because we actually don't have a date. Exactly, right. Do us save the date without a date. Wild. We could do like a guy's ballpark. Would you keep like X month free? Would you keep like the first two weeks of September three? Maybe.

Maybe. Or the first like end two weeks of May. I've told the people I actually care about. I don't know. First two weeks of September. It's not in my diary. Put it in our diary. Why is it not in our diary?

Good point. That's a good point. We've both been lazy with diary recently. We've had a few little... No, no, it's okay. I'm Captain of Diary. I can get back on that show. I mean, I can't diarise your shit.

Which I do struggle with. I rarely diarise my shit. I'm really bad with that. I think we need to... Yeah, the diary we could maybe improve on. Yeah, I agree. Sorry, and what was my other thing? Are you asking, Zadie?

No. Sadie, what did I do this week? Oh, no. I wanted to circle back. on something that you brought up. Well, I need to circle back on something that I brought up last week too. Oh.

Go on. Well, mine is not from last week. Mine was when you were saying that because of that video, I don't know why. I sometimes get fed our own videos. Oh, I literally, I am so narcissistic. I watch our videos all the time.

That's why her views are so high because we're both watching up because the three of us, cousin Jess, we're all on that way, re-watching and re-watching. The video about how you saying star signs is as bad as your body count. Having that conversation.

Yeah, it is. I said to rule the other day, what would you do? What would you think if you went on a first date with a girl and she asked you, like obviously not the first thing, but like she did ask you, what's your star sign? But like, I mean, like quite seriously. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, yeah. And he said, fruitcake.

Exactly. And I said, point proven. Boys do not like girls that like star signs. I said, what the fuck could you possibly meet? Yeah. He said, well, she's obviously got something wrong with her. That's my religion. So I said, I literally said, that is so disres about what of my religion.

and he said, Fruitcake. When I'm at church under the full moon and you're slagging me off like that, that is disrespectful. And I said, why do you think, why do you think,

that is an incredibly derogatory thing to say? Why do you think that? That is misogynistic. So, bear in mind, we're having this conversation, I'm like really going out of it. He's lying, butt naked with the TV on like this.

Fruitcake. He's like that. Fruitcake. Anyway, there's some things that I've learned and like, I don't know whether I actually believe in this and I would like to like,

stand on business and not enact these things. But I do think in the early stages of dating, if you're dating heterosexual men, there are a few things you have to hold back until they like you enough. And then once they like you, they'll be like, ha ha, so funny that she like loves the moon. Like then they don't care.

But like for the first, however long, you have to hold some cars close to your chest and you can't be like, oh, by the way, my Mercury and Retrograde this year was really difficult because I'm a Libra. And I'm just coming out of the window. I don't manifest and live the way that I meant to in the next 24 hours,

my whole next six years will be ruined. So you can't say shit like that. No. Because they will literally be like, woo-woo-woo. No, but can I say, even now, honestly, don't bother. Yeah.

Like, you don't, they don't need to know that shit. Well, it's just like, I wouldn't perform, like, full-level Shakespeare Othello to, like, two-year-olds. So, like, that's the, like, thing. It's like, know your crowd. I think the same about Chelsea losing. Yeah.

Like, you know, is it, that, important. Well, this is a thing. But maybe it's your religion. You go to church on a Sunday and watch the boys play and that's fine. Like, as you should, I would never say it's so lame that you care. But actually, this is a note for any, if there is one heterosexual man listening to us, keep that shit back. Like, if I'm going to have to keep my star sign allegiance. Yes. Back, you better keep your fucking football shit to yourself.

Or don't keep it to yourself, but don't expect, like, me to care. Or expect me to care and then care the same. Like, let's be on a level playing field is basically all we're asking for. Yes. Whatever your religion is, may it be football, may it be nine holes of golf, may it be, I don't know, Formula One on a Sunday, I don't give a shit what it is. As long as it's not liking girls' pictures on Instagram.

I'm like, I will respect your religion and you can respect mine. Do you know what I mean? I do. Anyway, I would also like to circle back because last week, we spoke about whether it was acceptable to snog on a handoff. Oh my God. Guys, you're going to do. die, you are going to die.

Me and Pedro have the eye one. Yeah, no, actually, me too. I had two snogs on this end of I went in. Within an hour. Who did you? Who did you? It was the second one. You didn't even tell me. Okay, well, Emily Shea kept calling him Prince William. I don't know where he looked like. I can't remember me.

But who was he? I don't know. I don't know. What do you mean? I don't know. I would clean up in Italy. I am wasted in the UK. No one thinks I'm fit here. I go to Italy.

I'm beautiful, bella, wah, blah, snogging me every left for my centre. They don't have blonde Italians. Thank you. And I literally thought I am, the dog's bollocks here, wasn't good for my ego. Babe, you need to get to Asia. I'm not joking. You would be. No, because in Asia, like, they more look at me like curiosity.

I know. Like a weird, like alien. Whereas in Italy, they're like, whining on me. I was like, whoa, I don't know what to do. It's crazy. So anyway, when on the. this night out and I took the advice of Ali Mack and I thought, okay, a snog is sign as long as you don't leave, right? Yeah. So, and I just have to say, I'm not going to, you know, to fame anyone and let's not get

into the nitty gritty here. But the circumstances of the night were that it was, it would have been okay. If I had to shag someone. Yes. If I'd have left the head. Yes. But she didn't. I didn't. I stayed with the girlies, but I did have little like, little timeouts just to snog some Italian men. So I was sat with the girls at drinks. We were like playing like drinking games before we like went downstairs to the club. And this guy, this waiter comes over and he's like, my colleague at the bar thinks you're beautiful and he wants to buy you all drinks. I was like, Salé, yes please.

He made this shot. I've never seen anything like it, baby. You'd have loved it. It was like a strawberry something shot with like a white foam on top that tasted like pepper. It was delicious. Anyway, so go over to this little boy and I'm like, thank you so much for the shot and he's like, you're so beautiful, no worries. La la la. And I'm like, whatever,

don't think anything of it. Walk off. And then his little mate at the bar was like, oh, give him your number. And I was like, no, not my number. Because what are you going to do with my number? I don't know you. I don't live here. And then he was like, Instagram, Instagram. I was like, okay then. Anyway, so then he's like, we go downstairs to this club. And then he's like DMing me. Like, where are you?

And then he was like, I don't really like it in the club. And I was like, yeah, but do you like me? I was clearly like really many, many, many tequila's deep. Like many. I look back at the text. I think embarrassing. And then he was like, yeah, you're hot as fuck. And I was like, oh my God, I'm literally in heaven. Anyway, then he came down, I swear to God.

He said no words to me. He just found me on the dance floor, grabbed me and snogged me, like, so, like, passionately. And then he, like, steps back. He, like, looks at me and he was like, babe, you're so hot. And then, I, I shit you not. He grabs my face and he licks with his tongue from here to here across my brain. So he's like licking my braces. Like this.

And I was dumbfounded. I was literally in the middle of a very busy... My eyes were open. My eyes were wide open. I saw and I felt. And I thought also did that not scratch your tongue? They're quite sharp. No, they're not.

Oh, you've done it. They're not like, you know, cutting you up. It's not like a... Maybe it is an enjoyment. No, but it's a kink. Some people have that. Oh, he had a kink. And then he just literally stepped back from me and he went,

that's hot. And then snogged me again. I was literally like, I am in a whirlwind. Then he goes, want to come on ride on my bike? And I was like, I don't think so, Pedro. No sir, no sir. No Grazie, Pedro, no grazie. Anyway, then he leaves. Think nothing of it. Then I'm just dancing with the girls again. Good time, good time. Then I had a few situations where there were like handsy, like boys and I looked around and I thought not for me, just walked away. Then this one guy just started like grinding on me and I turned around and I kind of must have thought he was fair. I genuinely don't remember what he looked like. And then I just necked him.

Had a second snock. It was like I was at a school disco. I think the grinding has got to stop. Oh, the grinding is so good. Is it though? It's actually low-key, so fucking weird. If you really think about it. Yeah, yeah.

Also, it doesn't really happen here. Like, it's so what? Yeah, because they're all scared. Here they're scared. I bet they I fuck in Italy. Oh. That's all they do in Italy, actually, is I fuck each other. And then they just think, yeah, that's a green light.

And then they just touch you. No, the grinding. out of nowhere is wild. But it's dancing. It's like salsa. I'm like, oh, and you just check your partner. Not for me.

And then you just butt it off and you go to the next one. It's so, it's like bumper cars. You're just like, whoa. I like it. Wild. Yeah, anyway, so it's,

I did snog on the hand do and nowhere minded. So I just thought I would let you know. Slay. Slay. Slay. Hard sleigh. Hard slay.

Okay, you can join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, galleys. Welcome back. Let's hear our first voice note. Yes, please. Hi, girls, absolutely massive fan of the podcast. So I'm a gay guy and I'm just kind of struggling at the moment with like navigating like early dating scenarios and like dating apps as well.

Especially like hinge and stuff. I recently went on like four deaths with this guy and it ended because basically he said that we had like no like romantic connection. But like despite that I feel like this connection was like the most genuine I've ever had. and like he was actually like 10, 10 guy. For me, like, there was so much sexual energy there. Like, what I basically want to ask is like, I don't know if it's me or like, am I just not capable of being like flirty or like physically like intimate like in those early days? And is that like stopping me from like actually pursuing like a genuine connection?

Like because I'm worried that like he was actually like compatible to me. And I just kind of didn't show him that. and then he thought that like that's it like we're not compatible when we are like I don't know I think obviously I'm so young but like I'm just finding it hard to like deal with that and like that closure and be like move on and so yeah I thought like especially gee like do you have any words of wisdom but anyway yeah love you guys thanks oh babe love you um first of all slay that you're Australian just have to say that you're Australians slay that you're a boy slay that you're gay like triple threat like quite literally

We've actually got our resident queer in the building today so that's brilliant, just please feel free to chip in. I feel like this, I might be wrong, but I feel like in like queer dating, it is a little more expected to have sex. Early. Early, especially within like the gay male community from what I know are friends.

Yes, I agree. But are dating in that space. Or if you're not sleeping together, it's definitely physical activity. it's lip sing. There's some lip sing. There's some Italian lip sing. Early doors.

Yes. And I think that's where it's different sometimes because I think sometimes when you're, if you're like a straight couple and you're dating, it can actually be seen as like a good thing that like a girl doesn't like put out. So you have this kind of like difference maybe in the way that sex is viewed in the early stages of dating.

Yeah. Yeah. But I do think with dating, the best thing that you can do and the best thing that you can know is that it is rarely about you. Like, there is nothing wrong with you because you didn't feel ready for that

or you didn't feel like that was necessary whilst you were getting to know him. Like, I think you can move at your own pace and if it gets to a point where he brings up this conversation of like maybe we're not that compatible and you say, oh, but I think we are, if he still wants to leave, that's on him. Like, that's to do with what's happening in his world.

And I think it's really hard to be open and vulnerable with someone. And you don't want to do that and then regret it because they weren't like a safe pair of hands. So I understand why you're like holding some of that back. I do think because dating now has become so like quick and quite transactional. and there is so much choice that I think there is a pressure on a kind of pace where you almost have to put your cards on the table a little earlier than maybe you'd like

and maybe with the next person that you date that's something that you could kind of try whether that's articulating it verbally or through your kind of like you know even just through like a little bit extra physical touch or like a little extra like nice text because the most you're going to lose

is that they they don't want to be with you that's fine because that can happen whether you gave them nothing or whether you gave them everything. So I think you just have to move like intentionally and if you really like someone, try your best to let them know that, but in a way that is set at your own pace. I think also like it's really, really hard. First full dates, I mean, that's nothing. It's so nothing. It's so early and like you don't know, you literally don't know this person.

So it's like you want to give as much of yourself away as you feel comfortable. to without feeling too vulnerable but also giving a bit of vulnerability. Yeah. It's really fucking hard. And I think honestly, I do, like, this is a good example of when he says we're not compatible. If you felt like, oh wait, how have we read this so differently? Such different pages.

Maybe there is like a conversation that you, like, I don't know how to do this and you're so early. But like, I don't know if there is a way three, four dates in when you can be. like how do you, like what do you think makes you feel compatible with someone? Or like you need, like basically you need information to like ask questions. Because that is what you're doing in those first, like I would say genuinely within the first 10 dates if you're so lucky to get that far. Research gathering.

Yeah. Like you're a fucking PhD student. You need as much information as you can to make sure that you're like moving in sync or that you like don't like to. make sure that you like them or that you don't like them or you would work or you wouldn't work or like sometimes it's even that thing of like I watch this actually CIA man being like the way to get information out of people is to offer something up yourself and the way to get trust from people and vulnerability is to give something so if you were to say

something like I really like just out of the blue this is obviously quite scary like I do really find it hard to like let my guard down around people that's you've not ask anything there, but you've made a statement. Now it's on them to respond. They might come back and be like, oh, that's really sad. What, like, why do you think that? Now you've opened up a conversation.

Or me too. Then you're just like, okay. Or they freeze. Then you know, okay, this is a dead end here. I can't do anything with this. Like, if you offer something up gently, plant the seed of conversation, that also like does foster a sense of intimacy with someone because you're...

Without being physical. Yes. Yeah. Also, it is. is really hard because like you, like I actually had it recently where it was kind of the other way around. I think he thought that we were kind of like perfect for each other and I thought we were like so wrong for each other.

And that can happen. Like you can experience the same dates. Yes. And because of who you are and all you've been through, you can still get to like a point where you are on completely different pages and there's actually nothing you can do about it. So like that is also okay. And I think, listen,

when you're dating, I love that you're young because that does make it easier. Like, babe, you'll bounce back, go again. Like, it's literally just like, you're out here just racking numbers. Like, that's your job right now when you're young. But I think you have to, you have to have a certain resilience that, like,

which is an internal knowledge of, like, it's not about me. And you could do everything textbook perfectly. I agree. And someone could still be like, if they're not ready, they're not ready. Exactly. If it's not right, it's not right.

Exactly, or if they've had their own shit. Like, you could do something so, like, with this guy that I just say, he's amazing. I hope that he, like, finds someone that is perfect for him. Because in another world without previous things that happened for me, he could have been perfect for him. Do you know what I mean? So it's like, I'm coming with my own criteria that is so, like, vast, that it's not really about him, even if it's his actions that are causing me to end it.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So I think you do just have to move. as you want to with the intimacy, with the sex, with the amount of dates, with the amount you're willing to give, with the amount you like them.

You've just got to show up as you see fit. Also, you know, I think that you can trust that the right person will move at your pace comfortably and they won't be like... Well, they won't just leave at the first sign of like, nah, this isn't really working. Yeah. Because they will be like, no, I think you're amazing

and like, I want to like figure out how we make this work. There is someone out there. Of course. For you. Like that. Course there is. Good luck, babe.

We love you. And thanks for voice noting. Okay, now it's time for an email. Are you ready? Are you sad comfortably? I'm ready. Hi, galleys. Love, love the pod.

Double love. Oh God. This is good. I can't stop having extracurricular activities with people on the first day. You and me both sister. No matter what preventative measure I take, it still happens. Don't shave my legs. extracurricular activities. Wear ugly underwear, extracurricular activities. And before the date,

I don't even want to have extracurricular activities with them. I'm so set in my head that I'm not going to, but then it gets to the pivotal moment and, you guessed it, extracurricular activities. Do you have any advice on how to prevent this? It ruins the guy for me and I also end up feeling rubbish about myself. I then get stuck in the mindset that all he wanted was extracurricular activities and maybe that's true, believe it or not, I'm not a very sexual gal. You could ask my ex. I was very much an alley in that. That is fucking hardcore defamation.

And I would have sympathy if you had not done that for yourself. Al's done her own PR on that. No, fair. That is fair. But now that I'm dating, even though I don't want to have extracurricular activities with them, I do. And I don't know if it's an issue of not being able to say no, but I've never felt uncomfortable. I've also come to the realisation that I don't really enjoy it. I've never finished from someone else is doing, and it always just feels like a chore. So I've decided to go into voluntary abstinence as of yesterday.

God bless. This is like real crisis talks here. She's really come to us at a time of need. Any advice on this or tips and tricks to actually stop me would be wonderful because my only fix so far has been to just stop dating. A bit of background info, always helpful. I'm 23 and my last three-year relationship was with my first boyfriend, and he was the person I lost my virginity too.

Love you, galley's. Love you, sis. I've got lots to unpack. I've got lots to say. Well, I actually think everyone's going to think, gee, you should speak on this. No, no, no. Ali Marcus, the person. That needs to speak on this.

I think, first of all, you should be really proud of yourself that you've identified. Self-aware queen. Because I think it's really, it's too easy to just be like, oh, ha, ha, ha, ha. When it's like, you're clearly not feeling great about it. And it's not serving you. And you're, it's a little bit self-destructive, actually, because you know it's, you know you're going to, as you said, you know you're going to feel rubbish. You know you're going to go off the guy.

But for some. reason you get to the end of the day and you press that big like self-destruct button, you're like that big red button and then it just happens. So I think this is good. You've come and this is good. This is good. We're in we're at a good starting point. Um, I think sadly I do actually think of like not dating for a hot sec. It's like basically go like stopping drinking. A little cold turkey. I do think it might be good for you to have a circuit breaker. And for you to like a lot of this is about like getting back to yourself. And knowing what you want out of like your life,

out of dating, out of a relationship. Like there's so much information that you can, like you, there's so much that you need to know about what you want before you, also before you venture out because like dating is so hard because you're, you can know your own like compass or your whatever. But then there's all this interference from other people and it's so confusing, especially if they're really forward and like, I think that the not dating, for a hot sec is a good thing.

On a practical level, I genuinely think if you're gonna start dating again, you need to have something that you cannot miss at the end of the day. That's a good thing. If you don't want to go home with them, you need to have, like, your friend needs to call you at 10

and be like, she's lost her key and you need to let her in. Get the fuck out. I need you now. That's a really good one, by the way. I've used that many times. Oh my God, holds this locked out. I've got to go.

Got to go. And if you don't call your friend, your friend will call you. and you've got that in place. And be like, you need to leave. You told me you don't want to do this. I'm in cardiac arrest. Yeah.

Get your ass home. Yeah. Yeah. Another one, I realized this recently. It's so much easier to not go home with someone if you're not drinking. So I don't know what you're doing on these dates. True. I recently dated someone and he was pretty much sober, to be honest.

Okay, on our Thursday, we had like one cocktail, but like I'm pretty cognizant after one cocktail. You've got high tolerance. I'm fine. So I think like if that if that is an element that it's like late night because listen babe I see you Everyone is attractive after four margaritas in a darkly lit bar like everyone you could go home with honestly anyone Anyone so if you can like also do things that don't like create the environment of sex then that's a really good go on like an early date I did a few brunches back in the day I don't love it because I just think broad daylight's not for me. No, but listen, if we're taking practical steps to get you out of the rhythm of it,

then why not go on a coffee and a walk? Because also, it's not going to be forever. If you get out of the habit of it, this is genuinely a habit. You just have to break the cycle. Also, I have started this thing kind of recently. Like, if I make a promise to myself, as I would to a friend, I would never break. If I promised something to Al, I would, genuinely, when's the last time I've broken a promise to you? I would never.

And if I'm not going to do it, then I won't promise and I'll talk around it like I'm a politician. I'll be like, well, I might endeavour to try to not. But now I'm at the stage where I'm like, okay, if I'm going to promise something to myself, then that means something. And I think the more that you like show up, this sounds so wanky, but genuinely the more that you show up for yourself. The more self-worth you have, the more respect you have for yourself, the more you feel loved by yourself. But that's what I'm saying about going back to yourself and like, you've got to know that shit in your soul before you step. foot on a date. The only thing I do want to preface all of this with is I don't want you to think that like a U problem or B that there's going to be like a magic fix that then when you have

sex on the third, fifth, 10th, 20th day, it's going to be better because that's also not guaranteed and it might not be that the sex is bad and that you're not enjoying it because it's the first day and you've, you know, you feel like rubbish about yourself. Number one, And that like, bit like slut-shamy, like morning after regret, like, I think is quite hard to get rid of because I think it's just intrinsic. And number two, it's really hard to have good sex with someone you don't know. So it's okay that if you then wait and you have sex with him on date five, like, don't, like, I just don't want you to, like, call it off because it's like, oh, the sex isn't

man and I don't enjoy it. Do you know what I mean? But I think a lot of this is about, like, you said, what did you say? It ruins the guy for me. Yeah. Well, that's, but that's a bit what I mean, like, we. like we had this conversation recently. Like I, there was someone I dated.

We had a bad kiss. I shouldn't have let that be a thing. Yes. Because that's okay. Like, we don't know each other. But I, that's what I'm saying. I think that you can avoid ruining the guy for you. If the bad sex is ruining it for you on day one,

then like he's got no fucking chance. But it might come on day three is what I'm saying. But that's okay because you might actually know him a bit more. Yeah, true. And you might be like, no, come on. Yeah. Like I can see a spark in. He's worth it in so many other things.

Yeah. Yeah. Because one thing I know to be true is that sex gets better, okay? Oh my God. Like, you can train any dog. You can. You really can. But it's not even a dog. It's like a, it's not. You can. No, because it's not. It's like a, you can. You can write your own hymn sheet. Like, you can do. It's making something fit you. That's what I mean. Yeah. Like, it's like you, the- You can train your dog. And vice versa. Yeah. Like, it's like, it's like finding, it's like shoes that you can mold. It's more, like, like, do you know what? It's like you can find something that fits, but you can make it fit.

Yeah. It's not about trying 50 pairs of shoes. You can stick with your one pair. I also want to say if you are like me and you're not a very sexual gal and sex is not high on your priority list. Yeah. Then you might really be like, if you have, if you're having sex with people on the first day and you're off them, you might be missing a lot of good ones that you actually might really

like because you're off them because of sex. Yeah. But if you gave those people. five dates to let you show them who they are. You never know. Good luck, sis. Good luck, babe. Wow, there's a lot of girls out on the streets. Go get it, sisters. Okay, this...

Sorry. Sorry, I've got verbal dress. Sorry, I've just really glitched. I'm just having a software update. Sorry, I'll shut the fuck up. You look at the iPad, like you can't see. No, no, I don't want to talk about this because I actually am. Last night, babe.

I think you might have some kind of... No, I could cry. I can't talk about it. Have you got a glycoma or something? Last night in the restaurant I could not read the idea. Was it dark? To be honest. Okay, it was dark. I think you need to go to see something.

When I say, like, I don't even think a child could, I've never, I didn't even know they made font that fucking small. It was the smallest thing. I've literally, I'm funny. No, and my mom and my auntie had them light. Here's the venue with their glasses and they're like this. And I thought this is so embarrassing. But then I was the same.

why it was like this. How can anyone do it? It's awful. It's awful. It's awful. You must go to Smack Sabers. No, but I just... She says, I've been to Smack Savers.

I'm not gonna do it. You need a little reading glass. I'm sorry. No, no. If you wear glasses, your eyesight gets worse. Wait, is that right? Sorry, I don't know that that's true.

I think that's bullocks. Also, a mere week ago, you said to me, it's really bad that you're, not wearing your contact lenders or your glasses because your vision's going to go, what? No, no, that is true. I need, like, that little thing that they just go like... A monocle.

No, you need reading glasses. Those little sexy ones that you buy in boots. My dad has many pairs. I'll bring some back for you. I can't be wearing reading glasses at 30. I think you can anymore. I'm also having a crisis because when I say, babe, raw is, like, so grey.

I'm not joking. I notice the other. the other day, I didn't say anything, but I was like, oh, silver fox. No, no, it's a lot of grey. I like it. He's fucking speckled hen. I think it's sexy. He's 30. Okay, if he was 40, I'd be like, fine. He's going to be, next September, he'll be fully grey. Oh, he'll be great at your wedding. I'm ready. I looked at that and I thought, oh, I can't

even pluck a few with them out. This is a patch. This is a bush garden. Also, when I always do this thing, I'll say, I will say to him, we still love me when, like, my tits were on the floor. And you're like, yeah, course and then the other day he was like but will you still love me if I go grey at 13 I was like I think it's sexy I genuinely I know it I know a few grey men it's a lot that are young do you a few who do you know I can think of one off the top of my head but he's fit I don't mind if it's all grey but the speckled hen is fucking awful patchy dog Dalmatian sexy anyway I'll be wearing my fucking reading glasses and that's love baby

That is commitment. Amen. Okay, it is time for the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip. This is where we gather gossip from the galley's. We're gossip mining. That's exactly what we are. Okay, we've had a DM from Caroline.

Oh, sorry, not a galley. I'm ever so sorry. Your name is absolutely, I've even had a pronoun. really got with that. That sums up, you? Like, you just make shit off. She can't read, and she just fills in the

fucking gaps. He's brilliant. She does it through live, she just be like, no, no, he didn't. Wearing glasses. It's really funny for your eyesight. I am going to bring glasses to you next week. And I'm sorry, but you will wear them on the pod. It's going to be mandatory. Okay, we've had a DM.

from Queeva. Is that really how you're saying that? Queeva. Quiva. I don't think it's var. I don't think anyone needs to extend the R. Queever. Quiva.

I would have said Calmi. She's Irish, I'm guessing. I'm so sorry. This is actually awful. I'm so sorry. Let's start again. We've had a... This will be triggering this poor girl

because she'd have had this at school her whole life. I know. I'm sorry. Now here you are, butchering her name. We've had a DM from keep... Fuck me.

Shall I do it? We've had a DM from Kweaver. Good. Who has a dating app hack for us. Good. Oh my God, because my dating apps, all of them are so depressing. Babe! Do you know Olivia Collins is on Raya?

I'm not on Raya. I know. You've got like a petuline child that can't have what she wants. Okay. And my hint is depressing and my Tinder is bleak. Let's DM them. I'm not joking. We need a meeting.

No, you're laughing. I'm telling you now, this is the thing. Right. My hustle. My, this... Your hustle knows no ends. And it will work and when she's on Rea

will play this clipback. You're going to DM them now, aren't you? What are you going to say? Also, why is so desperate for a hygienist? Because my teeth all of a sudden I looked I thought, oh fuck, I've got so much black. And my hygiene is, last July, said it every six months and I've just realized

it's now July again. That's 12 months. Yeah. Did you see why dearest? I did. I thought, well, she's desperate. And then the girl was like, is there a time pressure? Fucking freak. Okay.

Sorry. Hey girls. I've recently discovered you post a horrendous breakup and I've never related more to two galleys. I have a dating app prompt that gets the best results. Oh my God, I'm going to change mine right now. And it's also a genuine question answer. Oh my God, this is fucking brilliant. Oh my God, tell me.

What do you think you could throw further a nan bread or a baguette? Why the hell does that get the boys? Because boys think that that's really funny. That is the perfect example of boy humor Because a non-bread is a frisbee and a baguette is a javelin They'll find that funny I'm personally I don't get it But I do, I know that men are simple

Personally not my humour Personally not my culture Your culture is not my costume And I don't want to pretend that's funny But okay If it works, it works I even put a thirst trap on the other day Because I thought fuck it let's go a bikini pick up

Hasn't worked Weird but effective anyway I hope you're coping in this heat Because just like being single It's savage Amen. Oh my God. Someone called Corey has just messaged me.

Hey Georgie. Very big fan of your tattoos. Let me see. I haven't been on this. This is why. I've got no matches. Thank you, babe. That's really good.

Shall I tell you my fav prompts that I've just got on? Shall I tell you mine? He's fit. Is he? Oh, no, sorry. I've just seen the face. The face.

He's tall, she means. No, sorry, can we just... Do you think you can throw an arm bread or an arm bread or we get further? I obviously was good at Discus at school, therefore an armbread. Although I was quite good at shot put But that's a ball I think I could throw A thread roll the furthest

That's not the question And that would be my answer Do you want to hear my prompts or not I think I could throw a baguette further Bullocks do you Yeah I do I don't think a nonbread's got the like Aerodynamics for it

Fair No it's a frisbee babe Rattata discus Think about how far Discus goes Chau Javelin It's gonna land in from you

Okay we'll try it I'm actually not joking Okay And I will put it on my hind and see what works. This is my cousin, my, my cousin's here today. This is my current roster of prompts.

My most irrational fear, standing up at my wedding and saying we met on hinge. I think that's quite funny. No last from the crowd, but don't worry. If you laughed at home, thank you. Don't hate me if I tell you that I just got braces.

I think that's an important disclaimer. I don't want them to come and meet me and think I'm a catfish. When you get the top ones off, you can take that off. Do you reckon? Yes. Did you notice our waiter the other day

had bottom braces? I have seen so many people with train tracks recently, like so many. Yeah, because it's cool to have nice teeth. Fair. I thought you were going to say it's cool to have train tracks. No. Disagree. I thought I recently had in the shower.

I can't believe it's cardamom not cardamom. We did. Sorry, that's actually so rude. That is so rogue, but how funny. Yeah. Okay, and then I'm going to do the javelin one. What are some really good? Oh, no, when I was obviously on Hinge.

Many years ago. No, on G's Hinge. Oh, sorry. I've never been on hinged myself ever. So it's actually heartbreaking because I think I would have really funny prompts. Of course you do. What pick-me thing to say?

Yeah, no, no, no, no, it is picnic. You and Izzy, where's she got? God, God bless. Fucking hell, look at what I'm dealing with. I just think, okay, the one funny one that I saw that I actually will never forget, and this is the... On my hinge, yeah.

This guy called Matt, okay? And like, one of the prompts you can choose It's how to pronounce my name. Yeah. Obviously, I need that. And this guy's name was man. He just wrote m' at. And I just honestly thought that was the funniest thing I've ever seen.

I don't know why. I've just always remembered that. But there was another good one. Wait. I'm trying to think what gets me. I hate, and this is so toxic of me, I hate when people actually list their interests. I find that.

so jarring. I genuinely couldn't care less that you like coffee, the outdoors and like a Sunday rose hung over. I genuinely think that's so boring. Like genuinely why? All of them write the outdoors.

Because they're like dogs. Sorry. No, no. That's what I said. They need to be walked. They need to be exercise. They need to be given love and attention. Like, they are dogs.

And that's fine. And that's fine. But I don't need to know that on your hinge. I need to know that you're funny, that you've got humour. I like a like, As seen on my mum's fridge and like a really like family. Yes, that's funny.

That's funny. What else do I like? Just anything's worth of a lot. Pass for your ex matches because I would have matched with people that I would have matched with people. Yeah, you would have done. I would have done that I found the prompts funny. How do I see the old ones? They're all there.

All of my fallen soldiers. God bless that never made out of the DMs. Oh, this is funny. My most irrational fear, I cheat on you. in your dreams. That's good. That's really good. I enjoy that.

This is funny. You should leave a comment if you have a link for the new season of Love Island USA. Fair. Don't worry. It's out on Sunday on ITVX.

Okay? And I can't wait. And whoever's doing the marketing ITV is genius because I'm just about to have a huge Love Island size hole in my life and then they bring the USA one

to the UK. I think clever. Oh, anyway. Thank you, babe. I will put that on my profile and I will give it a go and let you know if it gets any hits. Has anyone else got any funny props?

Jess, what's on your hinge? Is it a golf chat? What are the girls saying? Come on. Liverpool FC chat. No. If it's Liverpool FC chat, we need to have words. Did you like any of those girls that I matched you with the other day?

Jess is so bad. I do her admin. I get involved. I write, right, right, right to the girls. I'm like, thick, cute. La la la, chat, chat. Then she just doesn't open her app. Why have you done that?

She can't be asked. She's lazy. Arud. Rupert true. My greatest strength changing HDMI 1 to H2. Very good. That's good.

That's funny. Everyone needs someone like that in their life. And that is you to be there. Your techie AF. Oh my God, when you were a kid it must have been so annoying. What? Your mum, all the parents, all the direction. I was that person.

What, just do you like the Christmas quiz? I'm like, Jess is just in the living room for five hours trying to sort out how to put someone shit power on the TV. I recently discovered that I have an unused. Whispering Angel bottomless brunch voucher that needs to be used this summer. Slay. Good. That's actually good.

Yeah, it's true. My mum bought it for her 30th. It's actually... I'm 31. That's actually so good because if you have like a plan that you could do with someone, like I've seen a few that's like I've got a wedding that I need a plus one too. I think that's so funny. I think that's good.

Okay. Okay, well we've learned a lot today. For the single people out there, we have had an ep. We've been on a roller coaster. If you want to get involved with next week's Gally Gossip, then please send us a DM on Insta or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. And if you've got a story or a dilemma, the only we can help you with, then please send us a voice note to our what...

Please. Please. Oh, please. Oh, please. Send us a fucking voice note. You're right. Oh, 7342, 6-1-7792. Why are you a pirate?

Why are you on the seven Cs? Or you can click the... I can't do that. You can because you're... Are you Punjabi? I am Punjabi, but I don't think that's... I don't think that's... You haven't got enough Punjabi.

I have, I have. I am caught up Punjabi. So, it's fine. That little boy you're following on TikTok, he's white. I know, no. And he's doing these accents that are questionable if you ask me. The problem is he's too good. You can't hate it.

I know. It is too perfect. His Turkish engineer is really good. His Turkish car mechanic is phenomenal to be there. I need to follow him. Or you can click the link in the episode description and you can also send us an email at hello at leave a message pod.com. Thank you so much.