Leave A Message with Ally & G - Hammered at Midday, Long Distance Advice And Identifying The Body

Episode Date: February 18, 2026

Some bold claims were made on Leave A Message with Ally and G last week when the girls confidently declared they could identify each other’s body parts… so obviously we had to put it to the test. Scientific? No. Unhinged? Absolutely.Plus, one gorgeous Gally is spiralling over, potentially losing the love of her life to the long-distance cruise ship lifestyle, while another is facing an opposite dilemma… She's juggling three boyfriends and needs help deciding who to bin off! FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠(Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello. Welcome to another week of Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you're debating if you should tell your mates you're still a virgin. Or if you're questioning whether you should give your best year helping hand job, we are the girls for you. Hello everyone. How are we doing? Much to discuss this week. Really? Well, I feel like I've lived alive since this time last week. I went to a... She keeps... She keeps... Keep saying rave and I don't know that it was a rave. It was a disco party. It was a day party. It was a day party. It was a day release for some 80s crazies. 105.

Yeah. I had a beep. I had beef. It was an event. Yeah, it was. But it was an event in fucking Canary Wharf and I just like, lots of love to greater London. No need. Could we get some warehouses more central?

The only time I'll ever go there is if I'm supporting someone I love in the London Marathon, otherwise I won't bother. Like, sorry, I wouldn't even call that London. I know that is like the, you know, the economics. I know. Yeah, London. It's the hot house for the, you know, bankers. If you put in London to like any map, it will take you to the middle of Oxford Circus.

Covengarten. Coven garden. I wouldn't really call like, you know, Poplar. Poplar. Poplar. Poplar. What do you call it? Poplar.

I think it's poplar. Poplar. I wouldn't call Poplar. Central London, I just wouldn't. Poplar. So posh. So posh. Poplar.

No, I used to have this thing that I used to call garage music garage. No. I wasn't used to. She was like, no one who listens to garage. Says garage. Oh my God. No, yeah. You've unlearned that.

I've un-known that. So I had a good time. What time was it finishing up then in the warehouse? Right. This is what I need to tell you all about because genuinely, guys, I used to hate day drinking. Now, I think, oh, I think. day drinking. It's brilliant. I've always loved day drinking. The problem is sometimes if you

really overcook it too early, then you can have a hangover almost like by 7 o'clock. But that's great because then you sleep. No, but like if you're still out, do you know what I mean? I don't know. Something about the middle of the night. Well, it's the difference between day drinking and having to push it into the night or just day drinking. Because day drinking, I'm a fan. But day tonight. Drinking 24 hours. Yeah, okay, that's true. Too hardcore. Too heavy. Bit festival vibes. Then you've got or you know, re- Find your wind again. Whereas if you're going home,

well, this is the thing. Heaven. I was so funny because Jack and I was to sit outside like, you know, quite merry. Yeah. And I looked at my phone, it was 7.14. I thought, that's not right. Well, that was, guys, we did Chloe Burrows. Chloe versus the world.

Oh my God. Guys, we were shit face. I was so beved in the taxi on the way home and it was one, it was like what, 2.30pm? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I thought I could go clubbing now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm ready to go out.

I'm cooked. I'm pre-drank. That's when I have a problem with it. Yes. Like, if it's like, this is what I mean. Then I had to go out. And I kind of had like this lull and then I had to start drinking again. The lull is back.

Like, it has to be very controlled day drinking. It has to be the perfect conditions. Takes a fun out of it, doesn't it? I know, but like if I had had a lull and had, like on Friday if I had had to go out, I would have really struggled. You needed your bed. Yeah. Yeah.

But I was home on Saturday night by 10.30 I was. had a wing stop, watched... Heaven. Watch Bridgeton. I was watching Bridgeton. Well, talk to me about Bridgeton because everyone's saying it's having a bit of a, you know,

like it's back in its prime with this season because we lost it for a bit. Oh, interesting. Yeah, apparently there's some quite good storyline. Female Pleasure. There are lots of good storylines. Yeah. The mum.

Yeah. Getting Frisky. Yeah. The polyamory. Yep. Have you watched it? No, I've just been reading. Yeah.

Basically everything, all of that. Yeah. And also, my big issue with last season was that, I don't know whether they changed their hair and makeup department, but they were all wearing false eyelashes. And I just, like, the whole discourse was like, this is bullshit. Like, in the first couple of seasons,

they were all, like, so bare face, like, so natural. And then, like, Penelope was wearing fucking lashes, lash extension. Lashy, lashes! She was wearing lash extensions and glittery eye shadow. And that was just like that. Anyway, they've not done that this season. Was last season Nicola Copland's carriage scene? Yes.

Because that's the only bit I watched. And they're still having sex in the carriage. That's where they like to do it, is it? That's where they like to do it. And she's actually, you know, the pioneer on the, on the orgasm conversation. Is she? Because she's having really great marital sex. Get it, Colin.

You know that actress is my ex-boyfriend's ex. I did know that, yeah. That one. Yeah. She's not having very good sex and she can't get pregnant. And so the whole, and so Penelopee Featherington is the one that's like sort of, you know. Penelieve Featherin is thinking, guys, orgasm equals pregnancy. And it's so funny because they call it the pinnacle.

The pinnacle. The pinnacle. Wow. Yeah. Maybe we should start calling it the pinnacle. And also the queen and lady dambria having like a bit of beef and like it's quite interesting to see like two older women fighting. Like it. It's a good season.

Okay, good. Yeah. I'm glad. I'm happy for them because they, I didn't really want them to lose their run. I don't know if, like no one will know this about me. But you know Shonda rhymes. Yes. I'm like Shonda Rhymes's number one.

Because Gray's Anatomy. But like also she is a mom. mastermind, like scandal. She, gosh, she's worth so much money. If only you could know, like she... What's it called? Shondaland. Shondaland. But she's written, like, even shows that, like, you would know.

She's written on them, like, she's just amazing. I love her. So... Get it, Shonda. Didn't we meet her? Yeah, we were... She was at that event. Yeah. And she walked past us and I wanted to be like, Shandra, I love you so much.

I didn't do that. Whoa, babe, you just hit. And no, I've never heard you hit before. Babe, I like this little hairstyle that's going on here today. Don't talk to me about my hair. I can't wait to go to Larry here. Me too. I'm like counting down the days. I literally today like tried to do something with it.

Then I was like, I hate it. I'm going to throw it up and we're meeting Danny Dyer later. I'm devastated. But oh well. What are you devastated about? My hair looks shit. Why do you think you look shit? Well, it just wasn't good.

It wasn't a good hair day for me. Fair. I think my period's coming. It's impacting my whole head to toe. I think so too. No, when your period's coming, that's not when the bad mood is. That would have been a week ago. Oh, when my period's coming, that's when the bad moves.

Oh, mine's before. No, no. Mine is as it arrives. Oh no, mine's the week before I'm not nice. Mine is at it. Like, oh really? Yeah. I feel great like when it's coming.

Really? Because then it's like it's coming. Oh no. On my actual period, I'm at a hot, like it's the worst. Well, I think that's just because you don't sleep. I don't think that's your hormones. You're just a bit grumpy because you don't sleep. Maybe.

Because you're not sleeping. I've not been sleeping well. I know. I'm very dreaming. Wait, what year are you? Do you know? Ninety. What year I was born?

Do I know? Sorry. Sorry. Do you know? Do you know? 99. When's your birthday? November 27.

You're a sadge? Yeah, she's a sage. Sadd Rabbit. Exactly the same as my sister. Really? Yeah. Oh, Saddrabid. But is your sister, December Sadge or November?

December Sadd, and I know they are different. They are extremely different. I know they are different. I only really know November Sadges. I don't know many December Sadges, obviously, apart from your sister. They're quite like, how can I say this? Please hold, yeah. What we don't say about Sagittaria?

Please cut. Sounds like you're going to say something bad. No, no, no, it's not bad. They're quite, like, there's actually, yeah, yeah, I will not go. I will, what do you, what would you think of Sages? Well, I think we're the best ones because we don't really have any negative traits. Like, our negative traits being too perfect. That's exactly, Saj.

They think they're perfect. Yeah, see, Izzy's got this, like, I know Sages that have, like, an innate confidence that is like, they're quite like, self-assured and like they kind of know who they are. But they don't really know their flaws. Would you not agree with that? Yeah. Do you know what? That's quite a read.

Sorry, sorry, just quickly. I went to a house party on Friday. Wild. And I felt... Fucking hell, the girls were out this weekend. I felt 105. Yeah, yeah. I had the same.

I was chatting to this boy and he was 25 and I genuinely felt like the woman from Mamma Mia. I wanted to start singing. Does your mother know? Does your mother know? What was he talking about? Well, I think he was like... Hitting on you. Maybe not.

Well, interestingly, he works for a company. We're doing an event for them. Yeah. In March. Yeah. He actually works at the company. Product development. Very interesting.

Wow. I thought, see you there, brother. He didn't ask for my number. I think because when he asked my age... I think that probably turned him off. Also, I was talking to him like, you know when you've got no horse in the race? I've got no...

date because I'm like you're a child, I'm babysitting you for this time. So I was just kind of like, you know, like having a lull. And I was like so like, you know, you're single obviously. Like are you, what are you like looking for? Like you dating, l-l-l-l-l-and. He was like, I think I've got like another like, I don't know, maybe seven years of being single. And I was like sick in my mouth. Like seven, you think you've got seven years, 25. You haven't got seven years. I don't know. The problem is he kind of has. Because he's poor. Well, okay. It depends on we're defining as single because like you could have like a one year relationship

and still bounce back. True. Are you committing to being single for seven years straight? He said he's got, you know, life to live and I thought, God, I'm so jealous. Yes, you have got life to live. I've got life to live. I haven't got life to live.

I haven't got seven years. You've got two years in the locker. Have you seen the French Prime Minister? I have. I'm over that. No, no. So what do I to do? I'm done.

Cooked. Go out on a Thursday night and just get knocked up. Is that the plan? Why are you sleeping? Why are you sleeping on the day? What's happened there then? Well, my calendar is an issue. Wednesday, Thursday.

What are we... Okay, Wednesday I could do and there is this one guy that I might go if he says, let's go. Do you know what I mean? Wednesday you could do? Also, Thursday you could go after? Babe, could I?

Because then I would do that, maybe. I don't know, actually. I think we just never know and then they're waiting. Right, next week you've got a full week. You could do before. It's perfect. It starts at 8.30. Yeah, babe.

You meet them at 7 for an hour. It's perfect. It's like an interview. It's absolutely perfect. Okay, I will do that. In Parsons Green, you'll see me in Parsons Green having one drink. Yes. At Duke on the Green.

Precisely. One drink in and out, then you'll show up a bit buzz. That'll be fun. Amy Hart, I'll love that. It's perfect. Okay. Tell them about your news about Jack. Oh.

This is mega. I'm going to be a grooms woman. Yay! Can you believe? I think that's slay. My oldest. Often in the room, he is my oldest friend. Jack. I thought you met

when you were travelling. We did. We've known Nige 10 years longer than that. No, but like in a room like normally, in a room of his friends, maybe the other than some of his, he doesn't really have any school friends. Left them all behind. Like I've known him longer than I've known like

a lot of people. Right. Other than my school other than I should. Yeah, got it. Yeah. But then you've got no other friends apart from me, I suppose. Exactly. Ditto. Do you know what I mean? We're keeping that circle as more. The grading girls. Yeah, true, true, true, true. I'll let you off. Anyway, yeah, we...

I really think you should ask that designer for that dress. I need to tell her in the Hannah-Ber. Yeah, I will for the NTAs. I think it needs to be longer though. I do you think. Yeah, because I think everyone is doing... The boys are wearing morning suits. And it's red tie, black tie.

No, no, it's morning... I don't know what you would call that. But what do the girls wear? Black tie. Like full black tie. Yeah, okay. But black tie, I often think black tie could be a little knee. Isn't that cocktail?

I would say cocktail knee up. Oh my God, guys. Sorry, this is so funny yesterday. I was showing Rua Mood for the Brits. Good. What did you think? He was like, you are mental. And I was like, yeah, that's kind of the point. Anyway, I showed him that... The casing. The gold thing. The armour.

The armour. I'm fucking slay. I worried it won't fit. Like, how do they fit it to your body? I don't know. I think it's like a bracelet. They like clip it to you. Oh, Christ, I'll be having a world of pain. I know it.

Anyway, I told him, I was like, so it's that with a maxi skirt. He goes, what's a maxi skirt? I said, come on now. You know. And he said, well, what do you mean? What do you think Maxi means? I said, what do you mean? He was like, I genuinely know what it was so funny

because then I was thinking, we need to do that trend on him because he doesn't know anything. And I can't wait to do that trend where I talk about like red flags that I just said. Yes, yes. I can't wait to do that. And then he was like,

I thought a skirt was just like when it just goes to here. He didn't think a long, he thought that was a dress. He just thought that was a dress. So he thought long, short skirt. It's not crazy logic. Is it? It's not.

But anyway, I think black tie could be a midi or even at a push just above the knee if it's sexy on top. Oh, listen, you're not allowed to be sexy if you're standing up there. I'm not saying for me, I'm just saying, I don't think black tie is a very, it's actually a very good descriptive way. Because I suppose evening wear sounds a bit more. I would say evening wear is to the floor. Yeah. Well, very excited. So yeah.

So it'll be me. And the lads. Having whiskeys in the morning. Yeah. I think it's brilliant. Yeah. Bummer for raw, because you never want to be going to a wedding

with someone that's in the bridal party. It's always a bummer. True. Because you're alone. Oh no, but babe, he will know every single person at that wedding. He'll be fine.

Yeah, he'll be fine. He's going to Bristol on Wednesday, tomorrow night. For what? He's got a meeting in Bristol on Thursday, 9 a.m. I miss Bristol. Do you know what I was thinking?

Let's go to Bristol. Let's. I miss it. I miss it a lot. I could walk around Clifton buy some crap. I would love. The problem is, if I walked around Clifton, I think I'd buy a house. I think, when I go to Clifton, I think, yeah, this is it.

I could live here. Oh, I live there. It's not for me. But even if you were in a big, big... Yeah, no, no. Listen, objectively, if my life was in Bristol. Yeah. Like, yeah, don't get me wrong.

My problem is, it's like, you know, when everyone has, like, they wrote, like, I don't know whether people, you either, like, dread moving home or you, like, romanticise it. Yeah. And I have that with Cheltenham a bit, but it's like, I can't, God forbid, live in Cheltenham. But Bristol is like, Cheltonan, but, like, bigger and better. Bristol is an amazing city. Isn't it?

It is actually further than you think. To London. Yeah. Well, that train line's quite good. Goes through Bath. Well, I was saying this. Okay, this is my issue. You know, I'd like to speak on behalf of anyone that lives in a town or a city where the train, you have one train station.

And if you live in Clifton, it is fucking miles away. To get, yeah. You have to always get another train. Yeah. From like Gloucester Road. Bristol needs more than one train station. Say it again. Like, it's Matt.

Liverpool needs a lot. more than one train station. Yes. Liverpool does have, isn't there too? There's a smaller one. Is there? Yeah. St. John's...

Manchester? Has two. Has two. Okay. Piccadillion. Yeah. Victoria. Yeah.

Bristol needs two. Like, do you know what I mean? It's just not right to ask people. It's not right. Do I expect people? I don't know. It's Bristol that big. Very hilly.

Well, also you can live like it is... You could live like on the suburbs and still have to get that train. Okay. It's not well connected. But there. Then, you know, think about, you know, living in the Cotswolds and having to go to Cheltenham bloody spa. Oh, no, no, no. It's not right. I suppose we have Kingham. Anyway, that's by the by. That's quite specific detail that no one asked for.

It's like more Oxford way. Yeah, Kingham's well, you know, Kingham, bit on the cusp. Oxfordshire Gloucestershire, that is. So, yeah. I wonder whether the council tax is cheaper in Gloucester. Oh my God, it was so funny. I think Gloucester would be cheaper than Oxfordshire. I don't know. I'm a Gloucestershire, born and bread. Wait, are they both conservative though? Well, Cheltenham's Lib Dem.

Obviously North Cots is conservative. Has been for years. That guy, Geoffrey Clifton Brown, I swear it's still him. Since I was born, Jeffrey Clifton Brown has been the MP for North Cots. On the subject of cancer tax, this is the most boring chat you're here. Yesterday we went to look at that flat. And he said... One's worse.

Yeah. Fucking slow. He said, but only on the road to the right is... So he was like... Lambeth. Yeah. God forbid. Left.

Onsworth. If you got a parking permit on the left, it would be a third of the race. What the beef is, basically, is there. Clapham Battersea, Brexit is a very confusing place because technically Fapham Junction is in Battersea. Clapham Junction is in Batsy but it's in Wonsworth. But it's in Wonsworth Borough Council. I do think they need to have a serious look at the council system in this country.

It's fucking weird. The legend has it. that at the time of sorting out boroughs in London, all of the MPs lived in this cluster of London, which is now Wandsworth. I think that's why the lines are a bit wonky. I think they let a few in. Say you had a lovely MP that you liked

and you wanted him to be in the... You just drew the line a bit wonky. Because it doesn't make any sense. It doesn't. The catchman's bizarre. So then you get everyone in this catchment where the council tax has been historically and still is presently cheap.

No, I believe it is the cheapest in the UK. Exactly. Whereas Lambeth, I believe, is the second most expensive in the country. And what's that for? Because it's dirty on the streets. They never collect your rubbish. If there's anyone here listening that works for Lambeth Council, we need to have a word.

Because it's not right. It's daylight robbery. It is. It is. And today I went to try and take some... The fucking bins have disappeared. I don't know where they are. They've got no bins.

The big bins. The grondens. Yes. Zero. Bins. Oh dear. Anyway, that's not good, isn't it? Quite enough of that.

Well, listen, if it helps, Wandsworth Council of Stop giving us recycling bags. I never had them. So I'm up in arms because I'm now going to the tip once a fortnight, and you know me, I love the tip. I do. But I didn't want my Lexus to become a storage place for recycling, and now it is because I put it there and then I drive to the tip once a fortnight.

Do you have to pay for the tip every time? Of course you don't. Because it's in Wonsworth Council and they love for us to recycle. And it's a good smugglese. us ways a great day out. All right. See what I mean. No, no.

Anyone needs anything taken to the tip. Call her. No, no, please. Please. Right, I'm so excited about this. Issy, you're going to, you know, intro us. Okay, yeah. So last week, ladies, you said this.

If you were... Had to identify the body. Yeah, but you couldn't see their face. Would you be able to do it? It was just body down. It was neck down. Obviously, you'd be really easy. But like, even if I saw your tools...

Cut the tats off. If I cut the tats off. Well, this is what I always think, you know, when they say no face, no, case. I'm like, well, there is a case with me. If you had no time on your feet, I can't take a nude. I would recognise your feet a fucking mile off. True story.

So I thought, let's put it to a test. I love this. So I, um, DMed you both separately asking for you to send me. No, guys, this really made me low because I thought it was a prank. Did you? Because I thought why, well, the, I didn't see the full. Yeah, it was weird. I didn't see. Oh my God, guys. Sorry. News Flash. Morning off the back of the PA media.

going live on the wire last week, Leave a Message has been featured as the top pick in the Scotsman paper. The Scotsman? Hello. Guys, we're going global. Whoa! Leave a message with Ali and G.

Do you want to know what it says? Yes, please. Genre. Culture and comedy. Oh, Slay! We try every day to be funny. Podcasters, Ali and G have relaunched their popular Leave a Message

where the self-proclaimed professional Yappers aim to help the girls in need each week. Sorry, help the girls in need. Each week, the podcast I'll stop. Each week. The podcast begins the dilemmas and stories that listeners,

email, DM or voice no in which are the presenters, which the presenters who are also best friends then discuss from messy situationships to mortifying moments and friendship breakups, Ali and G have succeeded in creating that's all I've got there. A safe and judgment free space for their community which welcomes honesty and fresh perspectives.

In the third episode, Allie and G discovered the... Do you know what? Why don't you just tell them? Pick up a Scotsman. Most important, leave a message with Ali and G gets to the heart of the matter. And that is true.

Thank God. We will always endeavour to get to the heart. Of course, because you will. Okay, so do I click here for game? Click here for game, please. So I would recommend everyone heading over to the YouTube channel because this is going to be quite visual. Oh, my gosh.

This is brilliant. Yes. Also, but for audio listeners, please can you describe what you'll see. Okay, so basically what Izzy's done is she's made, you know, I would call it quite a, quite a clean minimalist PowerPoint is how I would describe it. Listen, there's no bells and whistles. It's just straight to the point that Ali and Gee, they get straight to the heart of the matter.

Exactly that, yeah. And as does, producer Izzy. So we've got round. So round one. G's hand. So Ali is going to have to guess which image is my hand. Too easy. Too easy.

Number one, obviously. Correct. How did you know? Obviously I know what your hand is. No, but I think that looks like my hand. That was my second pick, but that's... Whose hand is that before I slag it off? Which one?

Number three. That's my friend Katie. It's a little wrinkly and you don't have wrinkly hands. Well, she's currently in South Africa working on Love Island, so she's maybe it's sun. Maybe it's... It's looking dehydrated. Fine. I shall feed back.

Okay, round two, Ali's wrist. Oh my God, literally Sorry, that actually took me a minute to we even realise which one was mine None of these Wait, what? I mean, I'm guessing it's one Is it not? This is our friendship

Is it too? Over! Is it two? Yeah, babe. That does not look like your wrist, I've been guessing. Babe, I do have a mole on my wrist. Sorry, good point that babe, that's a cheeky photo. That doesn't look like the same thing.

Because that looks not as skinny as your wrist. Are you feeling a little bloated on the day? On the wrist, it's gone straight to the... To be fair, I was hogover. Yeah, that is water damage. That's water retention. Sorry. Okay, right?

One nil. Okay, round three G's lips. Obviously too, too easy. Yeah, that one is too easy. It was hard. It was hard to find the lips. I'm doing my cheeky little... Number one, bloody hell.

Who's on the core? all lippies. That would be me after I get my permanent makeup done. That's what I'll look like then. That's lovely Margo Robbie. And number three is Amanda Safeway. Okay, this one is easy. Ali's belly button now. Three belly buttons.

It's number one. Yes, good. That is so your belly button because it's so like iny outy, your belly button. I know. I do have a strange belly button, I agree. It's like it should be outy but it's iny. Do you know what I mean? Who's number three? Because they need to, why is it so rare? They need to go to a doctor.

Babe. That's me. Wait This is not your chance No, I'm just asking Why is your belly button so red No, because basically I had to up the saturation To make me the whole look less pale Oh yeah

Guys, it's so hard to find belly buttons online It was really struggling Of a particular skin tone Yeah Yeah, yeah that's the issue It's coming up with sexual things And I was on my way at that top Oh I'm so sorry to have done that

Do you want to really? It's okay. G's feet number three. I told you, I could pick the middle line up. So easy. It's like little toe on the end that just really gets me.

It's my bunion really. It's my thick toe that really gets you. Like not very many, let me have a look at it. Like can you see number one? There's no gap between the big toe in this. My toes are like this. It's like peace.

It's just always peace with my feet. Okay, right. This is really, oh my God. Ali's weenis. Oh, sorry. It's got to be number one. I don't actually know the art. answer to this. Oh my god, is it number three? No, it's number one. It's number two. No. I thought it was

number one. No, that's my friend, that's my friend, Becca. Number three is Rodrigo. Rodrigo, no! Oh my God, Rodrigo, we've got lovely weanus, actually. Babe, how much does one look like you? That's really good, is he? Because one could definitely be you. I thought one was me. Well, what we've discovered is... Well, that is awful. Give myself some fucking feedback Yeah, you're throwing out judgment left line center look at that, weanis.

I've always had elbows like this. I don't know, is that what it's called? Are you on the guy calledic acid? No, I'm not, I should be. I know I will be. Hypothetical question. What we've decided from this game is that if Al ever dies,

she must keep her head attached otherwise I've got no chance. Yeah, true, you won't know. You won't know. I won't know. I won't know a thing. I just go straight. your nipple, to be honest.

That's what Rool said last night. Did he? Yeah. He said, do you know, lots of people have... Bit pervy, but lots of people have brown nipples. No, it's not about the brown nipples. It's about that little mole. That's what he said to.

Duh. I know. You're the only person in the world who thinks it's rare to have brown nipples. I'd go straight to the peace side. Peace. Peace. Peace. May peace be amongst us.

Oh, that's really good. That's really good. Well done, is he? Thank you. Let's get serious. Let's get to the heart of the matter. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Right, what should we call the galley's this week?

What were you drinking on Saturday? Palomas. No, not even. What was I drinking? Things I would rather not drink. I had a balsp ball on Friday night. I've never had one. That's how you can tell I was with the kids.

What was it like? Is it really sweet? It was kind of like apple sours. No, it's quite tequila. Is it tequila? I might have just made that up. Is it really strong? It's, you can feel it.

I'd had one of them and a sig and I thought, oh, might sit down. Okay. Oh, I was on the Limoncello Spritzers, actually. Which, to be honest, don't go down that easy. I can imagine that. You wouldn't want more than one. Babe, I had one at Lena stores. I was shit-faced.

Oh, what, on Wednesday? I really, like, immediately I was like, wow. That's why you were ripe for the plucking. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I was in the mood for a fight. Yeah, fair. I've done that now. It's like having a poo, to be honest.

Yeah, fair. What will we call the galleys? Why don't we call them candy? For your longstanding candy crush addiction. One of the longest standing relationships in my life actually is Candy Crush. True. Do you know I had this? This is so embarrassing.

No more. Right, on the pod, on the way to the pod the other day, last week, I went on my phone to be Candy Crush. Sure. And it glitched and it put me at level one. And I literally, babe, you would have thought my mom had just read it. I was, I pray to God, no one saw me. I was panicking.

I turned my phone off and off. I was like, and then I was like trying to connect to the, you know when you're in between stations and you're trying to connect the Wi-Fi. And I was like frantically off and on, off like, quit the delete the app, reinstalled the app. Because that would have been bad. I have recovered it. Thank God. Thank God.

Probably teach you a good lesson that. I don't know. Why or how, but that could have been a lesson. Okay, candy number one. Hi, Ali. Hi, Chi. I actually can't believe my voice note and you. Like, I am such a big fan. You golly's hilarious.

You get me through the week, honestly. Keep doing what you're doing, gals. I'll be there front row cheering you on. But my dilemma is that my boyfriend is the love of my life. He is my soulmate. I literally cannot fault him in any way. He is gorgeous. He is hilarious.

He's loving. He's everything I've ever wanted in a boyfriend. partner. But I am a performer, so I'm a singer, dancer, whatever you want to call it. And I work on cruise ships and tours, so I work away a lot. He works as an IT business analyst consultant. Don't ask you what he does. I don't know. But we live together. So it's amazing at the moment because I'm not in work. However, in a couple of weeks time, I'm going on to my second cruise ship. And I'm so, so nervous about doing long distance. We did long distance for a month over Christmas when I was at Pantamine. And it was amazing. Nothing went wrong, but it was only a month.

and he saw me in between about three times. So it was a very, very short time. But I am just so nervous that I'm going to fuck this up. I cannot lose this man. And we know we're going to be together forever and ever, but my nervous system just absolutely freaks out. So please, do you have any tips on number one? How to calm my nervous system down? Because it's like my brain is saying, chill out, girl, but my heart is just racing. I feel sick and I cannot control my body. I just need to calm it down. And number two, just long distance in general, like things that are going to help us when we're so far apart with time differences. He's going to come out on the cruise shift, I think about three or four times to see me, which I'm so grateful for and he's so excited to do. So I know it's

going to be fine, but just any kind of coping mechanism would be really good. Also, thought I would just attach a couple of picks of like us as a couple, so you have a bit of a visual of what we look like. Yeah, love you, though. What a gorgeous couple. What a queen you are! Look at them. They're so. gorgeous. You look sleigh. Yeah, that is a sleigh. Hard sleigh. Gotta stay together forever. This is essential.

I need to ask you, how are you... Right, how are you doing your hair like that? Because all the girls managed to do this on the front tube. When I do that, I look like a poodle. She looks really good. You look amazing. But babe, can I tell you one thing? She's a performer.

And if I know one thing... Oh, yeah, they know how to do the hair and makeup. So true. So true. They know how to do a hair do. So true. They've been doing it since they were seven. Do you know what I mean?

Oh, look at your little boyfriend. Right, this is brilliant, babe, because you've really come to the right place. We are not well equipped to give advice on many things. One thing we are both equipped to give on is long distance. Allie successfully, me non-successfully. We've got all cases, you know, all like, what's it called? All bases covered. Thank you.

Okay. You go first. Number one. Shall I say one thing first? Sure. Really good to hear that your foundations are. solid. I was, yeah.

I think that's really like, well, that's like a non-negotiable, to be honest, long distance. And if that's one thing that as a thought, like if you need a little mantra to come back to you when you're having a wobble, it's that your foundation is there. And that is so reassuring. And also that you said, I can't lose this man. It is so, like, you kind of need to have that mentality to do long distance because you're like, the reason I'm suffering and the reason that I'm doing this is because, like,

I would rather suffer in the long distance than be on my own. And like that's a really, like actually quite comforting thing to do because it doesn't feel like it's completely futile and like pointless to just like suffer and sacrifice and la la la. Because you're like, no, no, I want to do this. I can't be without him. And also you're managing to do it whilst also not giving up on yourself. Like it's important that you go and do this and you don't not do it because you love him.

So it's like I'm going to have both. It's just how do I like make both successful basically? Well, this is my number one thing actually is that like, did you see how long she's going on the cruise? I can imagine a cruise is a year. Yeah, I reckon the contract. Okay, listen, I'm going to put it into perspective of you. That's actually not that long.

Yeah. People do long distance. And also you have an end date. We always say the main thing that you need for a long distance relationship to be successful is that you need to have an out. And like a year, babe, I've got toenails that are older than a year. Do you what I mean? Like, it's not that long.

in the grand scheme of the rest of your life. So that can also be a comfort to you. And then if you can try and flip the switch and be like, maybe you'll never get this time. Like time on your own, to do your own shit and chase your own dreams is so valuable. And I think people, when you're in love with someone, you can't like see that or like take that just solely for what it is.

But if you can try and like flip the switch of it a bit and be like, I might never get this time ever again. What an incredible opportunity. And like what an amazing experience I'm about to have and what all the people you're about to meet and like, do you know what I mean? I think that if there's a way that you can sort of like

focus, shine the light over there rather than like just shining the light on like the fact you're going to miss him and the fact it's going to be long distance and the fact it's going to be really hard. It will. Yeah. But it will also be amazing.

And like try and also just remember that basically on the day to day. Because you will. You'll be having the fucking best time ever. And also it can actually. make your relationship better, I think. Like there's so many things that you can learn about yourself that you can bring back to your relationship

and so many things that you can learn about each other because like you're having to communicate in a different way and you're hopefully really solidifying the fact that like it's worth it. Do you know what I mean? Like it's not often like we, it's really easy in long term relationships to take your partner for granted. Whereas when you kind of put.

put that separation in. It's like, okay, with all of these things that are difficult about being apart, he's still worth it. That's really just a nice thing to know. Also, it sounds like you've got plans in to see each other. That's always really good because then you work towards them. Some practical tips that I can actually give you. FaceTime like it's a date.

Yes. Like it's not just, oh, speak to you tomorrow. No. What time? Yes. And also, no missing that. As if missing it was like not turning up to a date. Or I'm really slammed at work.

Can we push it back half an hour? Like you need to schedule it in and like an appointment in your diary. Agree. Big time. Number one. Number two, the texting. Hmm.

I struggled with that. Listen, you kind of honestly, like I'm not going to give you sympathy here because it is the only means to communicate with them. Hate it all you fucking want, babe. It's not going to change. So you have to find...

I'll have this exact conversation with me over Hernandez. and I was like, yeah. Because I was moaning, Merle, wasn't I, about the texting? Yeah. So I'm bored and I hate it and I've got nothing to say.

Obviously, and that's how everyone in the situation feels but it's like if we both hate it, we're going to hate each other. Yeah, so you have to make the effort. Like, find a way to make your text conversations enjoyable. I don't know, like, this is so stupid but Raw and I used to have this gift

that I can't even remember what it was, that you would like send to each other that like, it's so minor. Yeah. But it's like, oh, really fun. You know, like, I don't know, or like to fill space. Like if he was,

an election I had text him and he couldn't reply he would just send me the stupid gift. Yeah. So you know, like I'm busy but I'm thinking about you. Yeah. Yeah. So like find a way to make that part enjoyable because that is going to be a large majority of your relationship for a whole year.

So don't, if you hate that, that's a real problem. Number two, sending notes to each other. I don't know how easy this is on a cruise ship, but like we used to send things in the actual post. Yes, we did that too. I think that you can do that I think cruise ships do have post boxes yeah you can

yeah you can yeah and like to the marina yeah yeah people see get post also like find a way to romanticise it like there are so many like lovely like really like you know like old school

romantic things that you can do that oh I don't do anymore now because I fucking live with him but like well really you should keep up to be honest I mean tricky with the post but like but that is such like writing a letter

or like writing a postcard and like including a sexy picture. Like you would never do that now. Like when you live with someone. Like basically what I mean is like try and see this as like actually a really special chapter of your relationship. Yeah. You probably will never get again. And like when you get into the monotony of like every day, all of those little things get lost.

Yeah. It's a really nice time to make a proper effort because you have to. My ex and I actually had a shared note and like we wouldn't write in it all the time. But you know how I get like a notification if you write in one of our shared notes? we would just have one of them and it would be like really we had one that was a bit sexy and then we had another one that was just like

I don't know like just thoughts or like even if like especially when he was away he would like write in it and I wouldn't get the notifications until he then got home but it would be like three months worth of like little thoughts that he'd had about like me or us whilst he was away and that was quite nice

because then you know that you're in their present we also had I can't remember what it was called oh my God I know the one that app. You ask a question every day and then you both have to reply.

I loved that app as you. I loved that. And it was like sometimes it was really stupid stuff. So sometimes you don't do it and that's fine. But that's really nice. You'll find it.

You'll find it. Also babe and I know this isn't like the most comforting thing but for your like you know your nervous system you are getting the easier like bit of the deal I think. I think the one that is away

it is a little bit easier because it's not you're not seeing things that are like you're every day, you're not in your space that you're in all the time together. Like, you're actually going to miss him less. So, like,

if you can find comfort in that, that you actually do get the better part of the deal, then do. Like, I even thought that in Australia. 100% we said that. I remember when we were out there and it was like,

well, you're so busy and so out of your life. And also, like, I'm living. Yeah. Like, I'm experiencing and, like, being challenged and, like, you know,

I'm living my best life. I just miss you. Whereas he sat. I miss you differently. Yeah. Like I miss like your like the comfort of you Like to be honest I don't miss like

Do what I mean I just yeah I think it's the amount that you're reminded of them Like I know from being the one that was like at home Like there's so much that you do That you would do with them So you're so much more often Whereas when you're away You don't know nothing reminds you of them really

Like apart from just missing them So true So true. Babe you're going to be so fine I really believe when you're going to be so fine I really believe when you've got really strong foundations and you love each other, it will be hard. You've got to over-communicate. That's just like the only thing that you can really like, you know,

fall short on is not communicating enough. Yeah. And don't assume that I've made, I, listen, this is my biggest learning of doing long distances. I think you can both assume a reality that the other person is living in. almost every minute of every single day. Do you know what I mean? And it's like, all you can do to mitigate that

is to like genuinely over-explain your reality at every single stage of every single day. Like, even stuff like, oh, I found it really hurtful that you didn't text me good night. People would just, like, you might just assume like, then that is a good example of like that one small thing being like, oh, he doesn't care about me. Yeah.

Communicate. I feel, and then he'd be like, well, sorry, I just literally fell asleep. Yeah. So then you say it really matters to me that every night I go to bed. and we've said good night. Yeah. Great.

Fixed. Fixed. But don't, but like all of those little things that you probably in real life could let go, you can't really let go. Agree. Because it builds. Yeah. We don't want any new resentment building.

Sorry, I just want to touch on what you said about your nervous system. Yes. I understand this, that you feel like you can't stop the heart beating faster than it really needs to. It's a good thing you're going to be in a cruise ship because one of my first things was sit and look at the sea. Really good. Like genuinely sit in silence.

No external simulation. Like genuinely you could sit there for half an hour and just look at the horizon. You will be amazed by how much that will just calm your like calm your nervous system. Because we're just all so small. Yeah. And it's so much bigger than us and there's actually like comfort in that. Yeah. And like when I, you know, sadly I don't live near the sea.

But like even last year when I was really struggling, I would just go and sit under a tree on the common and just like look at the world going by. Yeah. And like exactly. It just like sort of grounds you back. to. And like quieten your mind. Yeah. Also, I actually sometimes think in that state

journaling doesn't help. I agree. I was going to say sometimes for me, music. And like, oh, but you need to listen to the like, those like vibrations out. Yeah. Yeah. Or like I did have it with my ex where I would listen to like, and I don't know whether this is like too sad. Maybe it's too

sad for some people. But like if we had a song that really made me think of him, if I was really missing him, sometimes I could just listen to that and then I'd actually feel a bit better. Like he was with me and then I'd just be like over it to be honest. Because course, like, you know, it's going to come back eventually. So like I just think if you can find like your entry points into calm, like whatever they may be. A longer shower than usual.

I was just about, do you know, that's actually scientific because there are like the ions in water like counteract your own. Everything in the world is energy basically. So like if you're feeling really anxious, go and try it. Put your head like right under the water. It does. For whatever fucking reason, it does work. Yeah. So that.

Masturbation really helpful when you're missing someone you love. Well, like genuinely sometimes I would just lie on my bed and stare at the ceiling. Like it needs to be so, to actually regulate your nervous system. You genuinely have to lie at the ceiling and take like, my therapist used to tell me to do, I was never very good at this. A breathing. Yeah. But it's like a specific pattern of breathing.

The box breathing. You have to breathe out for longer than you. breathe in. So you breathe in for four, out for eight, in for four, out for it. Because when you breathe out, that's basically like a signal to your body to like calm the fuck. That's why when you're really stressed, you go, oh, yeah. Like you need to do that like on repeat. Yeah. See if that works for you. I'm, you know, still working on that. Yeah. Also allow yourself maybe like to be a bit sad sometimes. Totally. Like I used to have that where I'd be like, oh, guys, I'm just a bit down in the dump. I would say to a limit, you have to then also be like,

enough's enough now. And allow yourself to have fun. Don't feel guilty. Totally. When you're high kicking in the chorus line, enjoy it. I think that's why Rae and I had it a bit easy because at uni, like, you know, like, him going out is not a problem, whereas like now, do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean. But yeah, allow yourself, totally.

Allow yourself to just like enjoy this experience for whatever it is. You know, see it as like a nice little chapter in your life. Yeah, it's going to be amazing. I think it's going to, I think it's going to make you guys stronger. Well, it will make you strong. If he's the one, it will make you stronger. Exactly. And if he's not, then he's not the one. You were never going to survive it anyway.

I always think that. 100%. That's it. That's all she wrote. Getting her to the heart of the matter we are. Really good. Right. Now it's time for an email. I am going to give it a go. Come on. I can read, guys. I can if I really concentrate. I need to lock in here. Yeah, that you're going to struggle because you're better at reading. I better at reading. Yeah, but it's fine. I can do it.

You listen to audiobook, so let's see how this goes. Okay. Hi girls. First of all, love you endlessly. You are forever validating that you don't need to be a clean girl to get your life together. Aren't we just? True. True. Never a true word has been said. I've been single for just over a year and I fully leaned into having fun and being chaotic. Love that. Recently, though, with it being my third year of uni and everyone coupling up, I started thinking maybe I could do a relationship again. For simplicity, let's call the three guys Elvin, Simon and Theodore. That is so funny. Really good.

Oh my God, three guys slay, sis! Elvin is a guy. Do you want to pass one to J? Because she's a bit dry around here. I know, third year uni though. I'm baby sitting out of here. I'm going to have to get my... You have to get a push pram.

Yeah, honestly. Yeah, okay. Or my DBS check or whatever I'm is. Alvin is a guy I used to see around the library. We first got together on a night out in November and then kept running into each other and hooking up but never really spoke outside of that. After Christmas we started chatting properly

and eventually went on a couple of dates. He even travelled back to uni just for one night to see me. He's a year younger and a bit of a party boy but it's actually been going really well. Okay, Slay. Don't hate Alvin. Simon, I met on Hinge. Not my usual type, but the more I saw him, the more I liked him. He's older, has a car, sleigh, takes me out for nice dinners.

The issue is he clearly wants a relationship now in italics. He's older. I'm not sure I'm ready for that. He also started getting annoyed when I wasn't as available, which made juggling him and Alvin stressful. I can imagine. I can imagine. She must be doing a lot of laundry. That's all I'm going to say.

Back to back sheet wash. Theodore is my best friend's housemate from home. my best friend's housemate. Yeah. So her best friend from home. Yeah. Her housemate. We'd always got on, but he had a girlfriend at the time.

Recently, we started flirting loads, calling each other for hours, and eventually I booked train tickets to visit. He even paid for half. And my friend keeps telling me how much he likes me and that he's planning to cook for me. Well, then you know they love you. They're going to cook.

Here's where it gets messy. To be honest, Susie, it already feels a little messy. I would agree. I would agree. It's giving messy. It's giving not tidy. That's what it's giving. I told Simon, Simon is the older guy from Hinge.

I couldn't see him this weekend because I'm visiting my friend. He made a few passive comments that really annoyed me. So maybe I should bin him off. Whoa, Simon's in the bin already. I'm still seeing Alvin and we'll probably see him on a night out, but I can't go home with him because I have an early train to see a friend, A.k.a. Theodore. Theodore knows about Alvin, so I think this weekend might just be for fun.

But what if I really like him? Because he cooks. What if he cooks marry me pasta? Do you know what I mean? I do. My friend thinks Theodore likes me more than he's letting on, even though he's fresh out of a long-term relationship. I really like Alvin and don't want to mess things up after only two proper dates. Have I made a stupid mistake going to see Theodore? And how do I show Alvin? I'm still interested. Fucking hell.

Even if we don't go home together. Please help. Love you always. Right, okay, okay, right. Candy too. I need to just look at the spark notes one more time. Well, can I say one thing, but whilst you're looking? I think Simon is in the bit. Do you think? I think we might have written off Simon a bit quick.

No, but he wants a girlfriend and she's not really in the mood. She said she might be ready for a relationship. Right, I think the main issue. Wait, can we start with Simon? Yeah. Because Simon, although he's getting a little bit, he's jumping the gun, because you're not yet exclusive so he has no right to these sarky comments

but it means he likes you so I don't know enough about Simon on paper to know whether he's worth binning off because if he's not and he's epic and he likes you maybe let's not bin him too soon because you are in the right so anything he says doesn't touch the surface

because he hasn't yet said to you we're exclusive so I would just let the comments be water off of a duck's back if he's great on paper and we like him and we really get on with him. So I'm just saying, and I know that's made things more complicated because I've added Simon back in, just saying let's not be hasty. Jenny, don't be hasty. Unless he's really not for you and you'd never been in a relationship with him, then hell yeah. Okay, yeah, basically don't let the comments be the only thing

that throw you off. Because of course, he's jealous, fine, let him be jealous, but you're not doing anything wrong. So that's fine. Arguably that's fine. Do you know what I mean? Okay, Alvin. To be honest with you, I love the names. I love the chipmunks. is the guy that she's... Yeah, yeah, the library guy. Yeah, library boy, sexy. Yeah. I like Theodore.

I don't know why. You've got a little bit of a soft spot for Theodore. Yeah, because he's the chubby chipmunk, isn't it? I always loved him the most. Of course. I loved him. Well, can I just say one thing about Theodore and Alvin this weekend? Oh, wait, sorry, one more thing.

Theodore is fresh out of a long-term relationship. That's no, bueno. Right, sorry, you go on. Listen, people have been known to jump ship and then stay on the ship. I don't know that it's a real, you know. It's not ideal. What about being a long-term relationship? Yeah.

Some people are hoppers. I understand that, but that's maybe my reservations in that situation would be, do you actually like me or do you just like being in a relationship? Sure, that's one thing you'd have to figure out. Yeah, that is my, you know, not just with Theodore, with serial monogamous. With anyone. I'm just like, do you actually like that person or do you just hate being alone? I mean, green flags for Theodore is your flatmate, your, you're,

Your old best, your best, your best friend from home clearly likes him. Green flag. Yeah. They live together. He cooks. Green flag. I wouldn't say that. That's, bearman.

Yeah. Well, nowadays is it. I know, but at that age, maybe actually, yeah. Maybe actually it's a green flag at that age. Yeah, fair. At that age, yeah, that is a green flag. Yeah, fair. I just think with this, and this might not be very kosher advice, I think live in the moment.

Okay. If you go home without. on Friday and then you also want to, you know, get down with Theodore. I think so be it. I think so be it. However, I think this is not a sustainable situation for too long. True. So I think live in the moment, but also, you know, let's put a cap on the moment.

I suppose what we're doing in the moment before we cap it is we're just like really double checking. But if you're going to double check, you have to be locked in. And you have to accept that some of them you're going to have to be off. So like you are going to have to like, the end of the end. goal is to be with one or none. Can I just, I hate to be this person, sis. If the shoe was on the other foot and you were one of three girls that a boy was doing this too.

I know. Think about how that might feel. Messy grey areas awful, isn't it? Because technically no one's doing anything wrong. That's what I mean. It's not wrong. But like, there would come a limit to the point where you were like, I'm not going to do this anymore. And you need to pick.

Yeah. So just maybe you could absorb some of that. Can I say something awful? Yeah. If it does get to the point with Alvin where you think I don't want to reject him but I don't want to go home with him because I don't want to do the whole like

maybe I'll get with Theodore and then maybe I've like crossed a line. We can always have a period, can't we? Yeah, oh, that's not awful. We can always have a stomach bug. That's fucking girl math. Yeah, we can always have something that just means you're off limits.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've honestly got raging diarrhea. It's not good down there. It's nothing to do with you, but I am not well. Yeah. So you can always lean back on that. Just always know you've got

that in your back pocket. But I also think if on the Friday night you really like Alvin, go for it and then just on the next night when you go down to see Theodore, just be a bit mindful. I was going to say, mindful is key. Yeah, so unless Theodore, like, say Alvin's here, unless Theodore comes up here, then fine, blow it all out the water and like, go for it, you know,

gird your loins. But if Theodore's kind of like bumbling down here somewhere, then just friends don't Theodore off the bat. Do you know what I mean? I think basically process of elimination. That's exactly what it is. It is. It's a ranking system at the end of the day. It is. It is.

And like, but I think that in your pursuit of ranking, I think that you need to be mindful about what it is you actually. Because do you want a boyfriend? Yeah. Like if you want a boyfriend, obviously go for Simon. Obviously back to Simon, go out the bin. Do you what I mean? Yeah.

So like think about, I think maybe you need to just do some inward soul searching first. Exactly. Before you go and live in the moment. And think about them as actual like, you know, boyfriend material. Like, do you like the feel of it? Do you want to wear it for a while? Because sometimes boys, you know, they're just fun for the moment. They're not fun for a boyfriend.

Exactly. Different people. Totally different people. Totally. Like, Alvin, he's a party boy. To me... Could he just be fun for the moment? That's not giving boyfriend material.

Unless you're a party girl and you like to party together. And unless Alvin's made it clear that Alvin's ready to, you know, hang up a bit of the boots. Or you have to wear the boots together. Yes. Like it's a commitment. Together. Do you what I mean? Yeah.

But if you're... If you, I think that's what I mean. I think you need to decide what you want for, like all of this is well and good to say. If you decide you really don't want to be in a relationship right now, yeah, you've got to sack off Simon, because you can't be leading him on and he's thinking, I really want to be with you.

Yeah. And probably I wouldn't bother with Theodore as well. Who can be asked of the train journey? Agree. Just stick without having and have some fun. Do you what I mean? That's on you. That's on you. What's your truth?

You know what I mean? It's not us, is it? It's you. Yeah. To the heart of your matter. Yeah. Your heart of your matter. Really good, babe.

Thank you. Let's do a galley slash candy roundup. Very good. Candy number one, cruise ship long distance, babe. Good luck. Go get it. Kick that leg in the air. And also like just, you know, you kind of have to trust the universe a bit on this one to know that if it's meant to be, sis it will be.

No matter what, it will be hard. All you can do is your best. It's not going to be easy. Yeah. But if it's meant to work, it will work. And really, like genuinely my, I, my wish for you. is that you can see this as like a chapter for yourself and for your relationship that is going to be so beneficial.

Candy number two, three boys at once. Number one, sleigh. Number two, careful as you go. Number two, careful as you go. And number three, inward reflection. Get to the heart of the matter. Maybe doesn't have some private thoughts. Yes.

Many private thoughts for you, Candy too. And let us know. After you've had your private thoughts. Let us know what you think you decide. Could be none of them. Always an option. Always an option. Always an option to sack off all of them.

Don't forget that. Okay, now it's time for what we loved and what we did a love from this episode. Loved. You going to raves. Love. Love you hanging out in Pobla. Poplar. Loved.

Issey's game. Loved. Hard love. Love a Welsh accent. Yes. Love. Love. your curly bangs.

Love your sexy boyfriend. Love the fact that you're doing something for yourself and for your job. That is really fucking sleigh. Love Alvin and in the Chickmunks just as a film. Yes. Love haven't watched that in a long time actually. Love having options. Love options. Like

what? You are living. Pick off the menu, do you know what I mean? Love that Simon has a car and is older, to be fair. Love that. Love hinge for providing some goods. Yeah, good. And yet to see it. Love that for you. Things we didn't love.

Feeling old next to... Cheese. Cheese, piece foot, yeah. Love, what do you mean? Peace. But I did hate feeling like a granny next to a 25 year old boy. Yeah, fair. Hate.

Hate. But you know what? He did look at me and he was like, because I said guess, obviously when he said, how old are you? She was like getting all flirty. I was like, guess. And he was like, you can't be older than 26. I thought, Slay.

I got ID'd the other day. Epic. I never get ID'd, but I think ID. is about demeanour. Agree. Idea isn't about looks. This is what I think. I do think now if someone said you have the

energy of a 25 year old, I would take offence to that. I'd be insulted. But if I look 25, great. Look 25 and feel 25. Very different. Very different. Like, I want to look 25. I want to have the energy of a woman that's lived.

Yes. Babe. I want to look 27. Because 25 you're still a bit like girly. Okay, whatever. I still want to know like a woman. I don't give a shit. 26, 27. It's all the same to me.

Fine. Sub 30. Yeah, fine. Yeah, fine. 29 and a half, cool. Cool. 29 and 11 months? Great.

Apparently Ella has been saying to Hals recently. Aren't Ali and G like a bit old for that? I literally was like wash your mouth out with soap. God only knows. She just always says that there's so many things we do that are like millennia. Like what? Honey the other day. Not even.

going to ask, how are the millennials are going to save the world? Did you guys know this? Yeah, obviously. Okay. But like how? What do you mean save the world? So everyone thought it was going to be like Gen Z

that were going to like be the ones like, oh we're riding on like that generation to like, you know, be the eco warriors or like to like coming to parliament or like whatever. No, that. No, that. Millennials are riding on the coattails of the foundations that the millennials have paid. You know we're not even millennials. We are Gen Z.

We're not. I am on the cuss. the cusp. I think it's actually 96. You're a little over the cusp. I think you're a year in to the catchman. I'd call that cusp. I'm on the cusp. I'm on the cusp. Like, Holes is technically Gen Z. But she's not. Sorry, Holes to, you know, she'll never hear this. This is my issue with generations. It's between 81 and 96. Like, that is 7. 96. Exactly. No, I know. But you off the car. I'm closer to a Gen Z. Like 81. Not one. Fair.

Do you know what I mean? There's quite a vast spectrum there. Yeah. It needs to be like five, seven years, not 15 years. I know. Yeah, no, that's no good. Like, imagine you were at school with someone that was 15 years older than you and you're in the same generation, you're getting the same jokes.

Like, you're just not. Even girls three years above, they would talk about things. I thought, fucking no idea what you were on about. Oh, God, that's how people look at us. That's what I'm telling. No, guys, the other day. That's a hell and horror. Honey, we asked Annie to take a selfie and she obviously did at landscape because that's what

all the kids do now. And I was like, obviously it needs to be vertical. She was like, that is so millennial. She was like, how do I do that? And I was like, well, you hold it vertically? And she was like, wait, what? But my hands with the butt. She genuinely couldn't take the picture.

And I was like, okay, well, I'll be retiring now. Ella, no, no, right to reply. You need to tell us what we're doing. That's too often. Yeah, Els, I need a direct line with you actually because I get like a filtered through comments and I need the source because I'm going to change it. You can't, you can't be making broad brush.

Is it the hand chain? Is it the hand chain? No, handshane. Gen Z's wear a handshane. Exactly, so are we too old for a handchain? That's what I'm saying. Apparently, my nails are millennial. I don't know.

Chugie. Chugie. I know. Oh my God. Chuggy. I would honestly rather be called a fat bitch than call Chuguey. No. Genuinely, I would rather that you said to me, you are fuggly, fugly freak.

Then call me Chuggy. Chuggy is the worst. I would never call anyone fudgly freak. I just want to put that on the race. My God. I would never insult you in such ways. Like, Fugly, that's chugly. That's a chuggy thing to say. Fugly is a bit chugly. Yeah, you're really telling your age.

Right, more importantly, if you have got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on... 07342-6179792. That's 07342-6179792. Or you can click the link in the episode description. Also, please leave us a review and a rating. This is not a joke, okay? And everyone's saying, oh, it's so begging. Yeah, it is begging.

Yeah, it is. Okay? Who's saying that we're begging? Like, everyone's like, Voga and Joanne and the other. Joanne was like, I'm not even going to ask you to subscribe because that is so beggy. Well, Joanne, I am begging.

Oh yeah, we will back. Hands and knees. You can also shoot us. Who wrote that? You can also shoot us an email. Hello. Maybe that's what kids say. Is that what kids say?

I'm going to say. Yeah, that's what the Gen Z speaks. Shut up. They're not saying shoot us in an email. Just shoot me. Well, because they don't know what an email is. That's why. So they think it's something you shoot.

They're confused. They don't know what an email is because they don't use emails anymore. Okay, you can also shoot us an email at hello at leaveemessagepod.com. If you don't fancy sending us a point, this needs, I'm sorry, we can't be reading that every week. This is really, all that anyone younger than 27 is going to switch this on. Let me try again

Well luckily we're an hour in So if they've lasted this long With our chuginess Thanks guys That's really good I'll try and get a date in Then what are you going to try and do Before next week?

Change up your nails Hopefully Okay bye Love you bye