Leave A Message with Ally & G - I Can’t Stop SHOPLIFTING?! & I Slept With My Boss

Episode Date: September 23, 2026

Turns out shoplifting is a REAL epidemic… 👀It’s all kicking off in the world of @allyandg, as G is having an absolute stinker of a week after being slapped with another parking fine, while Ally takes a nostalgic trip back to the days she fancied her colleagues… emphasis on used to. PLUS, one Gally needs help dumping the too-nice guy, and another has a worrying talent for accidentally shoplifting. FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've reached leave a message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you've been on a date with a fan. Or you're still not over what happened at Glastow. This is the podcast for you. I actually am over what happened to Glastow. Couldn't be more over here.

I can even remember. Water is quite simply under the bridge with us. There is a lot of water and a big, big bridge. That's so true. We do get the water under that bridge, ASAP. Sometimes I remember things. and I think, God, I should have held that grudge for a little longer. I had that when I went out to Italy.

Because I must have, I can't remember what it was about. What had I done? Fuck knows. Water under the bridge. But I remember thinking, that was annoying and I did let her off. Fine. Oh, I do that daily. I know.

Daily, I think, wait, why didn't I call her out on that? And then I think, because life's too short. And that, guys, is our new motto. Yeah. Life's too short. I was saying yesterday on TikTok, when I was going to into Italy, Raw and I were showing a suitcase and we got to the baggage drop and it was like 1.2 kilos over and I said to Raw, it's fine. I can just take some stuff out of the bag and just

carry it with me and he goes, do you know what? Life's too short. It was literally 12 pounds and it's like life is too short to be fanning around with your suitcases. There's nothing more embarrassing than that. Especially for 12 pound because if it's a proper fee. Oh yeah. If it was 100 quid I would like in Australia we were, that was not good. Life was long. Life was long. babe do you know it was four figures what we paid for extra packets we paid four figures for extra money do you know why

because we got given the wrong information I will stand on that no no I stand on the fact that like we were we were miss sold a dream yeah there was fraud involved I would say it was very fraudulent we were basically told we had X amount of kilograms and we were like la la la like pack it also

thank God sorry I hate to be a martyr but I do always pack less and always pack more than across a half whole booking. So normally it's fine. Like even Portugal, I had way less, you had more, but it's, it's your total kilograms, your 50 k, or whatever, so it doesn't matter. Whereas in Australia, when we were travelling there, it was, that was not the rule. And she was like, well, you're like, I don't know what it was. We were only like, it was almost like we were an extra case. I know, yeah. It was like maybe like 20 kilograms over. But they were charging per kilo.

Yes, a lot per kilo. No, I will never fly with that airline ever again. I won't name check them, But if you want to know what it is, just honestly scroll back and you can see. DMRs, what are you? Everything's safe in the DMs. Oh, life's too short. Oh, for God's sake, life's too short. Oh, for God's safe. Well, guys, we've just had a lovely, lovely weekend.

Yeah, it was so nice. Location currently undisclosed. Yes, because you've got to wait for the content. Because we're under NDA. Yeah. To be honest. Quite serious. It's very serious.

Very. And we really just had a lovely time, to be honest. We had a lull. We had some good. We found this restaurant that we went to 20. We didn't bother venturing anywhere else because they bought it was a fish restaurant on the beach

and they bought this whole platter of fish and then you just pick which fish you want and then there was a dessert platter The dessert platter really got me going I've never seen that in a restaurant before I've had that once before They used to have the trolley back in the day

like very 80s to bring out the trolley I've never seen a woman carry out a whole tray of like mock desserts I don't know that it actually made me want any of them more thing that about like when you go to like a food stall and they've got like a three day old burger there I think yeah with a fly on top of it and I'm like but then I'm like I am a visual learner like I will sit down at the restaurant and get straight to the Instagram to see pictures yes but maybe I need to see like a bit of a catfish picture to want to order it isn't that so

funny though because if a restaurant menu has a picture on it you wouldn't go there but I still I know what my dad famously loves a picture restaurant that's one of his favorite places I like a picture restaurant if it's like an Asian you like to know what size the noodle is yeah sure well also like I feel like in China town they're all picture restaurant and that's like you know either you're reading or you're looking yeah and that's fine that's just the way the menu is laid out I would love like I know I'm like trying to be like a bit more you know not into tech

because I just think it's all too much but I would love a restaurant if you went yeah I just think I'm getting a bit prangy by all the tech what did all the tech all the AI the world's going to end shit is freaking me out. Anyway, imagine you went to a restaurant and it was like an iPad and it was interactive. Oh, I don't like that. You don't like that? When I went on holiday with my family, every single iPad. iPad menus and I don't like that at all. I don't know why it feels wrong. It doesn't feel like, I feel like I'm, I spent all like a QR menu. Yeah. I hate that. But a lot of the time with QR, there's not pictures. Oh, sorry, you talk about iPad menu with photos. Yes, I'm talking,

look around 3D model of the burger maybe what else comes on the plate and then are you ordering on the iPad are you waiting for someone to come out? No then I would like the person to come If I'm going to order on the iPad though I want a robot to bring it out like if we're going to go tech

Let's go big fat tech Like those cafes in Japan that I've seen Where you never see a person Basically yeah yeah yeah But did you hear about that thing recently I don't know where it was or what happened But this this um robot like drop kicked someone in Japan Yes I heard about this

And they had to wrestle it to the ground and unplug it at the back because it got aggressive, the robot. That's what I mean, the tech stuff. Petrifying. The tech stuff, no, no, that is petrifying. But it's scary, the tech stuff. Let's go, I think we should go analog,

a little bit more analogue in some things. Do you want some other really bad news that I've read this morning for you, not for me? I'm already in the piss. Oh God, it's going to be about like women are dying at 50 alone, is that it? Women that are single at 30 can't have babies. Is that what it is? No, actually, women that have babies in their 30s live longer.

Of course, because you don't die. Because your body starts dying. I'm sorry, that is quite, you know, tragic, frankly. No, it's not that. Sorry to interrupt, please carry on. Onsworth, council. They're putting up the council tax. It's by, they're timesing it by four over two years.

Times by four. I'm not even joking you. That can't be right. I hope it is right, actually. As do I. As a lumber person. As a lamber. No, but that would be more than yours.

No, it would be about right. You pay £400 a month? Pretty much, yeah. Okay, I don't pay that. Okay, well, I just vomited into the money. No. I pay... You don't pay $400 a month for council tax.

I think it's like $3.33. I genuinely... That's crazy. You need to... I know. I know. About that. Wait.

You need to find your local MP and you need to say, you're robbing me and you should go to prison for robbery. That's disgusting. I know. And guess what happened to me yesterday? Go on. Sorry, it's minus 225 a month.

Even still. 225. So it's double mine and you'll say mine's going to get charged by four? Yeah. Yeah, because you're paying, I think you're paying about £40 each, aren't you? It's something crazy. That's what my friends pay. It's like one-ten.

Wonsworth Council announces record tax increase. He wants the... Who is he? I hate him. Who is he? I know. And council leader Robert Morrit. Let's fucking fuck up Robert Morrit.

Let's name drop Robert Morrit. No, I'm here for. I'm really here for. Council is set to increase council tax for a bandee property by £958 and 94% rise. Yeah, absolutely. From April 2020. What's bandee? What's happening to band ABC?

Don't know. Because I'm not a bandee. Bandi is like they're like the mansion buildings. Yeah, I'm liking this. We're taxing the rich. Tax the rich. I like it. If you move...

Robin Hood. I take it back about Robert fucking what's his name. What's the name? Babe. Sorry. He's Robin Hood. If you move house and you buy a house. house, you will be in Bandi. They're not just mansions. I'm not going to buy a house like that.

All right. I... So I think a bit of backstory is that where G lives is the cheapest council tax in the country. I guess so... No, not just in London, in the country. And it's in London and it's because it got froze in the 80s. All the Conservatives of MPs lived in Wonsworth. Yeah. And they said, I don't want to pay council tax. So then they froze it and then she's still paying the cheap bread. I'm still riding on their coat tails. Exactly. And it annoys me so much being someone who gets to wave at you from the other side. I know. And you guys, your council tax is really high.

No, no. My council. I actually think Lambeth Council is the second most expensive in the whole of the UK. It's disgusting. Yeah, and they're neighbours. What's that about? I'm neighbours. And they get recycling bin bags every two weeks.

Dropped. No, not always. It's very sporadic. I've got many words to have about recycling and it's only collected every two weeks. As is ours. If you get lucky. often times they will just take the black bin bags move the recycling bin bags

and then the recycling men will never come so I I have to go out take everyone's recycling put it back in the bin bags and wait another week in hope that they come can I tell you don't have to do that I do you don't have to do that I do why because I would never let Roger do that upstairs they could do that I don't know them yet

and I don't trust that they're going to do it I don't know them they're new I don't know Oh, is your fit neighbour gone now? Yeah, they've got new neighbours and they are quiet as mice. Really? And you ever think, guys, what's your daily schedule? Like, why don't you leave the house?

Well, they probably work from home three days a week sit at their desks. But do they not do a morning war? Do they not go getting coffee? Like, are they not going for dinner? What, have you not seen them? I've seen him. Okay, so initially I saw him lots,

like, to the point where I was like, this is embarrassing now. We have to stop bumping into each other. It's got nothing else to say because they were still moving stuff in. So he was like up and down, up and down, staring but since then not peep

weird occasionally I think that about my block of flats because I there are some people that I can go six months without seeing also there's so many people in your flat I know what are they all doing it's always the ones I don't want to see that I'm seeing to be honest it's always the one yeah but like I see my downstairs neighbour like often and if I

don't see him I'll text him be like hey just checking in some sketch he's dead I know I always have that because he lives alone what if he falls or something you shouldn't worry about that He's out on the garden everything. Guys, he's so fine. This man, her downstairs neighbour, G's balcony overlooks his garden.

He has been having a hot girl sub with that man. Amen. He's been out there, sunbathing, topless, turning to his garden. And his garden is beautiful. I'm so grateful for that because I look unto it, which is heaven. Yeah.

Yeah. So anyway, why was I talking about that? Oh, because the recycling actually isn't that good, just FYI. And also, what happened to me the other day? Ask. Go on, guess. What happened to you the other day?

Wait, I know. about your car? Oh yeah, but a second time. So when the guy, I'm on our call on Monday. Right, guys, I just need to preface. No, I'm not taking your, you know, scrutiny today. I'm not. I'm not in mood.

Okay. Can't tell that. Sorry, I don't know where that backbone just came from. God, just found a boundary. That's amazing. No, no. My God, I best call Chantala. Let me call her.

That's amazing. That's amazing. Well done. We'll take your scrutiny today. That is so good. I'm going to use that. Next time you're getting on of me about dragging my boyfriend else. I'm not taking your street.

Yeah, I'm fair. As is your right. No questions today. It's none of my business. Actually, quite frankly, and it's none of yours. But the fact that I was sat on our Monday call, chat, chat, chatting away we were. I was having a lovely time. Get a ring at the door, I think.

Hopefully gifting. Go to the door. Are you the owner of the great? Lexus, la la la la la. He's like, I'm going to tow your car if you don't move in the next five minutes. I obviously am like, shit. If I get that car towed, it's game over for me. I go out there from us going, from me parking my car having been to the tip, my favourite place in Warnsworth, smuggler's way, on Wednesday to us getting home, they've put a restriction up, parking restriction. I buy, but it was not there on the Wednesday when I parked my car. It wasn't. Right. Can I

I don't know. No one's going to believe that, but it was not there. And I looked. And there were millions of yellow signs. I would not have missed that. Like, my head's in the clouds. But I'm not that, like, you know, blind. Really, babe, because you did lose your click camera and it was in your bag. Oh, my God, guys. So I don't know how reliable that information is. I don't know. When you say things like that, I think, I personally believe that you could have missed all those yellow signs. I was personally a victim of a glitch in the Matrix. because how that camera got in my bag that I had checked multiple times, I don't know. That's nothing to do with me. And that Abercrombie Beach bag is big. It is big. We're on holiday and we're out doing an excursion. And in the morning I'd realised I've lost my click camera,

which this isn't an ad, but I bought the click camera. It's my favourite thing in the world. I only want to be pictured on a click camera from now on. I will go, when we next to a carpet, I walk to the Gettys and I'll give them my click camera. And I will say, no HD for me, brother. I'm going analogue. don't want your HD camera, I want my click camera.

Anyway, I lost it and I'd had all these sleigh pictures of us on the beach, which actually in hindsight, weren't that sleigh. But like, funny, good pictures, and I was so gutted. And then... And we spent probably 15 minutes looking for this camera. She also called the restaurant full times to ask if we'd left it on the table, on the beach. Like, people were looking for this camera.

Yes. Yeah, everyone. And then anyway, I literally was just looking for something like a lip gloss or something. And I was like, guys, it's my click camera. What are you saying? Because it sounds like you're saying click camera. Click, click. I was like, what is it? Get your mind out the gutter.

You're going to listen back and say we're saying click camera. Click camera. Click. Click. Click. Click. But it's click. K-L-I-K, I, you know, really, really do think everyone should own one.

It's amazing. Anyway, the point is. The point is I got to my car and there was a ticket on it. So I've now had five tickets from Walsworth Council in the space for a month. Why is there, was there a ticket on it? Did you not put the permit? Well, my permit's there. Cause, course it is, but they've put up.

It's not cause, babe. Don't look at me. Say, course, course it is. Cause it's fucking not is what you mean to say. Okay, well, surprisingly, I had put the permit in. But they've put up yellow restriction whilst I've been sunning myself in a foreign country. So how were I to know that the yellow restrictions would go up for the day

that my car is parked there? this evil guy who's got it in for me clearly has put a ticket on my car I'm not even in the country brother. Question. Yeah. You often will get a letter through the door. No letters.

It's going to be restricted. No letter through the door. Scouts honour, no letter through the door. Scouts honour, there is not a letter through the door. And I've been a victim once again of Onsworth Council. Once again. And do you know what I've done? I've appealed it.

Yeah. Oh yeah. And I will go. guys, I'm ready. I'll take me to court. I'm going to go to court. I will go to court and I will say I will not pay that fine because I've paid you again, four figures and I will not do it anymore. I will not be a victim and I will not undertake your scrutiny. That's all she's got to say. I'm not quite frankly. Anyway, moving on. Moving on, the next script point is gee, how did your parents meet?

Oh my God, so random. Did we talk about that last week? We talked about last week. We talked about this a lot on holiday actually. So funny you mention that, is he? Wait. Just so perfect. Because you were sort of like, oh, they met in an office and I thought, hang on. Yeah, they met in an office. Who are we called it?

Tell her, we need a short story. Yeah, she'll be here for hours. She's at home. Maybe she's in the shower, maybe she's having a shit. Maybe she's talking to someone that she wants to actually talk to that's not you. She'll be about anyone. You okay? Okay, so my mom, when she was like,

she must have been like 27, sat in returns. She'd been working in London. Well, that makes perfect sense. She had an existential crisis. Clearly. She wanted to be a journalist. That was my mum's thing. She really wanted to do some hard-hitting storytelling.

Anyway, not much success. I think she interviewed a few bands in Liverpool and then, like, was really struggling in London. Anyway, she was working in hospitality. I can't remember what she was doing. Like, I think she was like an area manager or something of like, maybe she was working for Green King at the time. I can't really remember.

Anyway, they then offered her a job in Glossack. If anyone knows Gloucester, quite the move from London. If you're going to go from London to Gloucester, it's a shock to the system. My mum's from Liverpool. So, you know, anyway, they offered her a company car on a bigger salary. So I think she just thought, actually, I'm not, she's single. Like, London life was not really like giving everything she wanted it to. I think she was at a stage where like maybe I need to make some money now, la, la, la.

Anyway, so she moved to Gloucester, middle of nowhere and starts working. I'm pretty sure it was Green King, but it also could have been whipbrose. one of them. Anyway, pubs. They're both working in the pub industry. And my dad worked in a different... This is what they always say. I don't know if this is true

because technically my mum was... So my mum had a boss and my dad was like almost like in line with the boss but for a different like... It wasn't her line... Her line manager didn't go up to my dad but he was like...

It was a different chain of command. But he was senior. Yeah. On the senior command. Anyway, I think they built like a weird... friendship. I don't know what that's about because obviously I've got a 17 year age gap. And then one time, as, you know, legend has it, they went to this conference, you know,

a bit of an away day. And I think they like shacked in a hotel or something crazy, just on this away day. And then the rest was history, honestly. And your dad was single at the time. Yeah. Okay. He had just been through a divorce though. Okay.

No, that's perfect. But he was single. Thank God. Imagine. imagine the crossover. But no, I'm pretty sure he was saying. I'm pretty sure he was, I don't know how long the gap was. Listen, I think it's one of those where, you know, you're like,

have been separated for a year or whatever, like more. But I don't know if they're legally divorced. I have to say when you're divorced, you know, when you get to your mid-40s and you get divorced, you've got no time to waste. You've got to go again. You have to because that is prime divorcee territory. Yeah, and everyone's right for the picking.

Yeah. Although he went younger, he didn't go for a divorcee, obviously. He went for a child. He literally, she was a child bride. She was. Yeah. So anyway, that's how they met and that is the law. So actually, you know, when we scrutinise, my new favourite word,

when we tell people off for dipping their pen in the office ink, maybe it's not so bad. Maybe it's not so bad if it works. Because I always think if it doesn't work, it is, you've got to have to quit your job. Someone's got to move. Yeah, and that is not ideal. Sometimes when it works, someone's got to move. True.

I know someone who you've met, she got with her CEO. They are now married. so brilliant, but because of that, because it was like so good, she obviously couldn't work under him anymore. So she did have to move jobs. Maybe if you don't like your job, it's fine. If you like your job, maybe stay clear. Shagg anyone else.

The thing about dipping a pen in the office think, though, it is like finding your school P.E. teacher attractive. It's like just because I sometimes think it is because of proximity because I look back at the people I used to fancy my corporate job when I think, was I having a stroke? What are they like now? Well, they're just like normal. They're normal losers.

They're normal losers. They are normal losers. Do you what I mean? We were having this conversation this morning, sorry, we will move on. Of people that you idolized at school that you thought were like the hot girl or the cool girl or the it girl or like the prettiest girl. And you look at them now and you think, wow, you're just a normal loser. I have had that so many times. I can't even tell you.

Yeah. And I'm not even saying that in a mean way. I'm just saying it's like, wow, like PR really does. well right because they obviously had good PR at school and like you know everything is circumstantial you know you're you can be cool you could be a big fish in a small pond yes when you're a small fish out there in the world you're yeah nothing special exactly exactly yeah yeah okay join us in part two for your galley messages okay galleys welcome back what should we call the galleys this week robert for for that man that's putting the council tax up yeah well and i and i want

to just say I am on Robert's side if he is doing a Robin Hood, if it's just Bandi. But if he comes for me, I'm going to have some serious issues with Robert. I worry he might be starting with Bandy and then going to Baner CBA. I see Bia with that, quite frankly Robert is what I see. I think it's easy to soft launch on Bandy basically. Yeah, because everyone wants to tax the rich. Because it's like, oh, fair enough. Yeah, as you should.

But then when he comes, they take up all the space. Yeah, when he comes for you, I think it might not be so much like Stan Robert. I think it might be fuck Robert. Okay, well, let's see how we go. Yeah. Mine and Robert's relationship is, you know, tumultuous. Okay, let's hear our first voice note. Hi, Gellies.

So I've got a bit of a dilemma. A little backstory. I've been probably single for about a year and a half. And then I met someone through a mutual friend. And we both study abroad, but we were originally from the same country. We met in April. And then we really just got along and spoke a lot. And he came to visit a few times.

I went to visit him. And then during summer break, we both went back to our home countries. We visit each other and I sort of met his family and he sort of met mine, but like not in a serious way. But I don't know if I have the capacity to like date. And I think he's a bit like a puppy dog. So he's really easily not attached, but yeah, it seems like he's pretty attached. And I am too, honestly, but I'm just a realistic person and I know I'm going to be. living in different places for at least the next two years and then I don't know where I want to

settle yet if it's abroad if it's at home if it's a completely different place so maybe just some advice because I am seeing him next weekend and I sort of don't know how to approach it because I'm also way too kind of a person and I always care about other people's feeling do I let him down easily how do I say it I love listening to a podcast and I hope this one's a bit interesting It's not super gossipy, but it's a serious dilemma I'm facing. For real. It's serious. Well, can I just say, kudos to you, Robert,

because if you were just your average fuckboy, you would not think twice about the nice girl puppy dog that, like, loves you, pines after you will be there when you call. You would just like utilize that, keep doing you and just like, fuck her when you see her. Do you know what I mean? Like that is the way of the modern fuck boy. and you, you're right, you are a good person because you've looked inward and you've thought, I can't give what he wants.

So I need to deal with that head on rather than just ignoring that and like having my cake and eat it, basically. So I just want to say, pat on the back, because you could easily just like, no one said anything. He hasn't asked anything of me. Let's just carry on. But I think it's probably a good thing that you're like preempting the fact that he might be the one that gets hurt. and so that then you don't have to put yourself in a position of being the bad guy. I think you can just talk to him and be like, listen, this is where my head's at. I really like you.

But I'm not really ready for a relationship. So if you want this to turn into that, then maybe we should stop seeing each other. I mean, you also risk him being really obsessed with you and being like, no, no, no, I don't mind. Like, I've had that a few times. Do you remember that guy? Oh, what guy? Do you remember? Oh, yes.

Oh, yes. I could have done that with him and I could have had a really lovely time and just had great sex and been adored by someone and like as soon as I said the whole time he was like yeah I'm looking for something

and then as soon as I was like I'm actually just like not like you know thinking I'm actually ready for a relationship he was like yeah no no no no no worries we can be casual and it's like that's not a good dynamic either that's a bad dynamic because you have all the power then

and actually that's not a good thing you think it is I agree But it's not in the long run. It's good in the short term because you feel like you can have your cake and eat it. Exactly. Then it becomes, then you feel guilty.

Yeah. And also, to be honest, this is a horrible thing to say then it's annoying. Well, eventually it's a dynamic that isn't even sexy. Yeah. Yeah. That dynamic is awful. You don't actually want that. Okay, you need to talk to him.

And I think you need to be really... I think you can actually say, basically, I'm not ready. I'm moving around. but I fear that you might be ready and that you might want to commit to that. And I don't want to put, I don't want that dynamic between us because I don't want to ever feel like I'm, you know. Using you.

Yeah, basically. Find a nice word. Find a nice word. Yeah. And like I think you can actually say it like in that blunt terms. Yeah. Because then also sometimes I think the people that like in his situation, maybe he doesn't even really know.

sometimes they're a bit blind to the fact that like that they're being used sorry we've got to find a better word but they don't really know because they think oh no it's fine I don't mind I don't mind they do mind or eventually you will mind or eventually they'll get to the point where they're like you owe me more yeah the time I've given you the like love I've shown you like you like they'll be at the point where they're like okay well commit to me like that's what you owe me at that time

do you know what I mean and it's like actually if you know you're never really going to get there where he's the person that you would commit to and you would, you know, compromise your movements for. It's hard when they're a puppy dog. It's so hard when they're a nice guy. I've broken up with loads of nice guys. It's awful. I think you're going to see it in this weekend.

And then I think also maybe if you have time, quite a lot of time between seeing each other, you should also say, please don't hold yourself back for me. Yeah. Definitely. Like, we can still see each other and we can still. You can say, I just want to check,

we're on the same page. Yeah. I want to check that you're still like living your life. Yeah, and like seeing other people. Because I am doing that too. And I would not ever want you to feel like I would ever ask you to not do that because I am not ready. Yeah. Because that's where the fuckboys go wrong.

Like they do stuff like meet the family, meet the friends. And they never address the fact that in their mind that's not that deep and it's casual. And of course I met your friends. It's no big deal for me. And no one ever talks about that. And then the girl on the other side, I'm using this like gender dynamic just because normally that is like, more common. But then the girl's like, oh my God, he met my friends.

He met my family. He really likes me. You're both coming at it from such different head spaces. And because no one's ever said anything, the fuck boy can easily be like, well, I didn't know that was deep to you. Because you've never discussed it. So he gets away with it because no one's ever said.

So as long as you're like, I'm just going to make sure we're on the same page. And this guy can never be like, you led me on. Agree. Basically, all you can do is give information and let him choose. You can't make him do anything. No. And you can't make him stop being obsessive to be honest.

You are what you are. You're a queen. Do you know what I mean? So just let him know that you're not feeling mutual obsession. Fine. And then I think you can continue with your clear conscience. And see how it goes. Yeah.

Good luck. Good luck, babe. Okay. It is time for an email. Sorry. Well, we've got someone in the room that can really, you know, resonate with this one. I'm naming no names. I think I might be a serial shoplifter

and the worst part is I genuinely don't mean to be. Every single time I use a self-checkout, I somehow managed to leave with something I haven't paid for. It started with a packet. Did someone ghost write this for me? Yeah. It started with a packet of chewing gum. I got home, unpacked my shopping

and realized it was still in the bottom of my bag. I thought it was a one-off. Then it happened with a can of deodorant, then a meal deal. Then last week, an entire bottle of shampoo. I'm not deliberately stealing anything. I scan my shopping, pay what it tells me to pay and leave. But somehow there was always one rogue item that hasn't been scanned. At this point, I'm starting to wonder if I'm subconsciously doing it.

The really awkward thing is that I've now become paranoid every time I leave the supermarket. I stand outside and go through my bag like a criminal doing an inventory. Did I pay for this? Yes. This? Yes. oh god, this yoghurt? My friends think I should stop worrying about it because it's obviously an accident.

But I'm now convinced that one day I'm going to walk out with a £3.99 bottle of conditioner and get tackled by security. So am I an accidental shoplifter or do I need to start going through my receipt with a magnifying glass before I leave? And does everyone else somehow steal something every single time they use a self-checkout?

I personally can't relate to that. I think a lot of listeners, if they were honest and there was no police around, they would say I resonate with that. I think they would. Because those self-checkouts, and I know because my first ever boyfriend worked at Tesco. And when self-scanners came in,

he told me as a manager of a big store, he said, we account for the losses, and it's still cheaper to have the self-checkout and the robbing than to pay someone. Than to pay all the cashiers. They know. So I think a lot of people will think,

oh, free. Oh, that's a banana and it's not. Do you know what I mean? Do you know what I mean? I don't want to incriminate myself here. Well, you could tell a story that happened very recently. Well, I... Okay.

It wasn't accidental. It was, that was an accident because I don't... I reckon... You didn't want what you saw. If I was going to steal something from my collection of things I put down, it wouldn't have been those. Yes, unfair. Yeah. It would have been that bad charm.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. And so sadly, I sold the wrong thing. Yeah, you were a fool. One thing we love to do when we go on holiday is shop. But we were deprived of shopping. There wasn't really, you know, the shops weren't popping off where we were. They kind of were, but we were distracted because we were playing a game.

True. No, but they weren't the best shops I've ever seen. No, they were. I would have been buying stuff just to get a thrill. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. True, true. But we went to the airport and there was this shop called Parthwa. And if you don't know about Parthwa...

I didn't know about Parthwa. I know about Parthwa. Because it's a European shop and it's basically like a better accessoryise. Yes. Kind of. Yes. And they have them all over Europe.

Anyway, I saw this beacon of hope in the airport. Obviously ran in there and hovered up in like 20 minutes. We nearly missed our flight actually because we were in there for so long. And we hadn't bought anything so we were like chomping at the bit. Yeah, I bought so much stuff I didn't need in Parvo. Me too. Anyway, I had these sunglasses. and this bag charm in my hand, but I had other stuff that I was like, I, I like to collect

everything and then decide what I do and then what I don't want. So I like just hoover everything up and then I actually put things down. Anyway, my hands were so full and I was not in the right place. I had the sunglasses and these bag charm and I put, I thought, I thought I put the bag charm and the, because I could see the bag charm and the sunglasses next to each other on the shelf. Bear in mind the sunglasses, I try them on and she was like they look like reading glasses, do not buy them. So obviously I was like, I went buy them. Anyway, I get to the gate and I looked in my bag and then these fucking sunglasses were

in my handbag. And I can actually give you the pictures of all of us wearing these glasses. Because then we said, okay, we've got to vote. Like whoever looks best in the sunglasses can have them. It gets to keep the stolen sunglasses. It is wrong. It is hashtag wrong. It's morally wrong.

It is illegal. And also, I do think there is an element of privilege. I'm just going to say it. And I, you know, know that I also have this. privilege that you assume, I don't know how you, you know, present, but one assumes, say, if I or you did accidentally take the ginger, we assume we're not going to be tackled to the ground because we don't look that size. I'm actually an ethnic minority, so I can never be sure of that. And that is true. And that is true, actually, you know, I think what you just need to do is look

inward and decide, is it actually just getting a thrill from it? Because if you're getting a Still from it, maybe that's a bit of a thing you want to knock on the head. Because I don't know if you watch the Stacey Dooley shoplifting documentary. It was very informative if you're a shoplifter. What did it say? You can't get arrested or find if it's under £200. Yeah, so shoplifter away girls is what Stacey Dooley taught me. Yeah, it's too.

I'm sure. What happened to you then? I'm pretty sure. Well, yeah, cause because it's not. You can get banned from a shop, for example. So like, I don't know. hypothetically, I stole my, my, um, ginger from Aldi. Yes, Aldi Clapham, for example.

Aldi Clapham can accuse you of that, show you proof of that CCTV and then can ban you from that shop. But they can't actually do anything. They can't call the police for ginger. I mean, fair enough. It's not worth it. We're not filing complaints for that, I'm guessing. That is an enormous waste of taxpayers money.

Because savers have an enormous issue with it, as Stacey Dooley documented. Please do refer there for your actual fact intake. they have an enormous problem because obviously Savers is so cheap that kids are stealing like handfuls and handfuls of stuff but it's like 100 quid, 50 quid, like whatever it is. Do you know what I mean? That's mental. So you can't actually convict them of theft. Well, I was once speaking to this.

Fuck me. This is not right to know this march about theft. I was once speaking to this security guard in private. Why? I don't know. I must have been waiting for you. We? When were we in Primark?

This was a year, years ago. Yeah, go on. You must have been buying something and I was to satis. Was it in Manchester? No, it was in Ox and Circus by Selfridges. Is it? He said to me, I must have been standing by the exit. He said, there were lots of rowdy kids and he said, God, the kids are out of control these days.

And I said, do you ever get thefts? And he said, we account for 20 grand's worth of theft a month. Wow. They expect people to steal up to 20 grand worth it. And like, they're not that worried. That's crazy. Wow. I'd love to see that in the budget line.

Like, you know, like, I don't know what corporate people do. But imagine you're in your corporate meeting and you're doing your budget for the year. Yeah, basically there will be line for that. And you've got a whole line that's like theft. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. We are all getting more morally corrupt, I think, because time goes on.

I agree. But do you know what, actually, I don't know. I do think. In the passages of history, we've always been morally corrupt. True. It's just, a different dress. Yeah, true, different font. And actually, in comparison to, you know, hanging someone in the town square, we're doing quite well.

You know, like, women used to not be able to vote. And now they're just stealing stuff. Because they are... Oh, they're liberated. Exactly. And that's the problem. Get the women back in their handcuffs, quite frankly. Because we are causing havoc out here.

If women didn't have their own bank accounts, they wouldn't be able to steal. They wouldn't. Well, exactly. Surely we used to steal more when we were reliant on our husbands? No, because you couldn't even go to the shop to... Oh yeah, like you got to the till. What did you do?

Was there a till? Like your husband would have just given you like £20 on the dot. And also you wouldn't. Sob that, I'd be stealing every day. I'd be stealing, stealing, stealing. I'd be like, I'm not going to ask Brian for another £20 £0. I know.

Fend for myself, quite frankly. I know. I think good on you, sis. Honestly, I do. No, I agree. I think, you know, as you were. I don't know if we should be encouraging theft. So just before we wrap that up,

I've just got some information about the 200. If it involves, have I made up? No, you can get in trouble for it. Trouble. You can get a criminal record, you can get fined community service, and sometimes prison time. For under £200?

Yeah, it's classed as a low value shoplifting and it's sometimes streamlined to safe court time. But it does carry real, lasting legal penalties. Right, so guys basically don't shoplift. So basically I lied. Well, because also what you have to just think is fast forward to the embarrassing, embarrassing moment we have to tell HR at work that you've been done for shoplifting. That's so mortifying.

It's the passport control that gets me. When you go to passport control and they say, what did you do when you say, I stole ginger, it's not worth it. It's just simply not. I don't know how you're doing this because I'm flipping putting things in that are actually meant to be there and I'm getting caught up for it. What do you mean? So I'll be putting in like some mince and then it will be like incorrect baggage area.

I'm, how are you stealing things? I want to know. Well, I don't know how people are doing it when it's the weight restricted check-out. I don't know how people do that. Okay, you're just not putting... I guess they're carrying it with their chest. They must be. Or like putting it in their bag or something.

I guess if you go to the shops with a bag and you're filling up your own bag and then you'll take it rather than getting like a basket. Because if you have a basket, how can you steal anything? I think this about people all the time. I'm like the audacity. It's amazing, but wild that you walk around just filling a tote bag. with stuff. I know.

Like, if I was security, I'd be like, I'm going to have to come with you to check out, lady, because this is looking stuff. Or maybe they're using the cell, you know, when you go around and you do it one by one. Oh, that's got to be a recipe for disaster. Imagine disaster how much people just, but it is random stopping.

So you've got to be lucky because they do check. Really? Randomly. Yeah, like passport control, random. Because that is, I mean, that is, I've never done that. I didn't even think they have that in Clapham. But they do an Astor, big Astor. Not in the Sainsbury's.

You can't self-check out as you go. Not in Big Sainsbury's. And Big Sainsbury's, their weighing the scales are very terrible. Oh my God. Always wrong item in Banging Air and I think I'm going to have to throw my phone at the screen. But the self-clicky ones, that people must steal from that.

All the time. I'll tell you what, when I was a nanny, I used to deal with this a lot because the kids would just steal by accident. Yes. Like, especially the littlest when he was really little and he didn't quite get it. Like, he would just pick shit up. I wouldn't have realized. So they put it in their pockets.

You genuinely don't know. Yeah, in their pockets or like in the bottom of the buggy. And you'd be like, oh, bloody out. We're just stolen. That's not right. I'll be done, brother, not you. Yeah, I know. Yeah, nightmare.

Anyway, moral of the story is don't steal. Don't steal. Like, obviously, law abide. Obviously. Because the laws are there for a reason to keep us safe. Okay, it's time for the galley gossip. The galley gossip. This is where the galley's messaging.

comment wherever you desire and we will respond. Is gossip mining? Yeah. And that's it. Really? Nothing more, nothing less. Because as we said last week, gossip is back. Gossip is cool again.

Gossip never. Gossip did leave. When? Gossip left. I personally was not part of that exodus. Gossip was labelled as low-minded. Low-minded, small-minded. Small-minded.

Low-brow. Who told you that? At university, that was happening. I was not. Culturally, that was happening. Well, culturally, fuck you. Fine. We've got a voice note from a galley with a hinge tip.

So good. G needs to hear it immediately. Well, yes, she does. Go on then. Hi, gillies. I'm absolutely obsessed with you. Like, you guys are the best. So, I have a question, and I also have a tip for our hinge gullies.

Okay. If your hinge is going, like, really, really dry, you're not getting anything out of it, you can go and pretend to like delete the app, okay? And it'll say like, are you sure you want to delete it or like, do you want to give your feed like a refresh? Choose the refresh and I promise you, the hinge will be beautiful. Tell us up a time. You get a lot more like, you get really, really hot people on your feed. And it's kind of like a way for you to not delete the app without like finding someone. Give it a try, see how it is. Also, I've got a question, a hinge-esque dating app question.

And basically, I'm going on a date with this guy. next week. And I was sure my friends, I was like, this guy's really hot, really excited about it. And two of them have matched with them already? My question is, how do you go about seeing someone knowing and find well that they like your friends and then your friends like them? I'm in the North East and like, there's not many people out there. How would you navigate that? Gee, we're in this together. It's the trenches out there. Love you guys. Lots. Love you, babe. Sorry, her question is, her friend already matched with someone. So they've all matched with the same guy, but she's obviously like winning the race

because she's obviously like got the day. Got on the day first. Got it. I think you can go. No worries. It's very tricky that though because you're right. Like I think the thing you have to take away is like guys on dating apps are like they're moving differently to girls.

Like I wouldn't say that it actually necessarily means he fancies your friends. He just thinks your friends are fit and that's not a problem because like your friends probably are fit. Do you know what I mean? But I think it's awkward when like basically you've done the right thing because you got there first so now no one else really can go on a date with him unless you date him and you're like, no, he's not for me, and you don't feel any kind of way about it. But I think you do have to keep quite an open communication with all of your single girls,

because I know two friends that had this, where one of my friends had been single and was dating this guy, they'd matched, they were chatting, and I think they did go on one date. And then, okay, it's a bit different, but then they moved into a block of flats in London, and he lived in the flat. This was, they'd seen each other ages ago and like, they didn't know this then. My friend was still single, but, and I can't remember why it fizzled out. It wasn't like, nothing went wrong.

It just, like, fizzled. And then she was living with another single girl at the time, a friend. The single girl matched with him on hinge. They realized they were in the same building. And they then started dating. They are now having a baby. Wow. But my friend had dated him previously.

So, like, there was like a bit of a thing of like, well, I guess like, you kind of did fancy each other once upon a time. but I think you just have to kind of like it's case by case it's very case by case and like and you've done you're in the better position because you've got a date first

yeah so like if you date him and like him then it's like everything else stops obviously um sis thank you for telling us that because if some galleys didn't know about that then they should because I do that more honestly circa fortnightly like I literally threatened to leave Hinge

every two weeks and it does do that it basically so you know you have that weird thing called standouts do you know this yet How dare she? She's okay. I'm more than O'Fay.

I'm more O'Fay than her. You're well read in dating outs nowadays. Yes. So basically to get you to pay for like premium, sometimes dating outs will hold back like standouts and they are fitties. I don't know how the algorithm like sniffs them out. Maybe you're a standout.

I fucking doubt it. Someone else. And that's why you're not getting people because people are going to give me a rose. Oh my God, I'm a standout. Oh my God. Genuinely that could be one. you're a standout. Well, it's a burden.

It's a blessing and a curse, let me tell you. But basically, then when I think... You should pay. I'm not paying. You should pay. No, I think that's embarrassing. I do too. I think it's so desperate, the energy to the universe.

I don't think it likes it. See, I actually don't agree because if you think about, like, um, meeting someone in a bar, you did pay to be there. It's exactly the same thing. It's just... So you're like Sovi B. You pay for your Uber there, your Uber, your Tube there, your Uber home, your drinks. That is the same thing. Sorry. Controversial opinion. It's only embarrassing because it's so

like in your face. It's because it's an app. But it is the same thing personally for me. Even that guy when you were like, why haven't you messaged him? I cannot bring myself to text him his real number and say hey, it's G from hinge. That makes feel sick. Okay, we need to do, you need to get hypnotized or something. No, no. I am actually being really good at the moment, guys. I'm having, sorry, this is a whole different topic. We'll talk about this next week. But I'm having a proper like reframe at the moment. Once again, are you being held up? Yes, I am, actually. She's on my hinge for our audio listeners. Anyway, I do highly suggest doing that and don't leave, say refresh and you do get a new influx of people. It doesn't always lead to something, but it is better than your kind of dusty remains.

I have to agree, as someone that is in the trenches with her, it is not, it is, it is, diabolical out there. It's dire. Where is everyone? Marriage. They're not, they are, babe. They are. They are not. They're sorry. They've got girlfriends. Do they? Because there are a lot of single people out there. A lot. Okay. So they've either got girlfriends or they're unavailable or they're not good enough for you because you've got high standards because you've been single for so long. La la la la. And that is the crux of the issue. I think a lot of boys fall into that last category. Not good enough. And the only, I will stand by this, the only exciting thing about being single in your late 20s, early 30s, late 30s, 40s, is that you get to pick.

Yeah. That's the exciting thing. You get to pick anyone because you've done it now. You're single. Do you know what I mean? You're paying the single tax. You're living your life. You've done it.

You've done the hard bit. Like, that's the joy. So you don't pick a shit one. Yeah, fair. That's fair. Oh, honestly. I will stop moaning a bitching about it. After this, today's the last day of moaning and a bitching.

If anyone hears me moaning and bitching about dating, slap me. Slap me hard. Okay. Both of you. Big clout. Is he you're allowed because... Because you're not a cow! I was going to say because you're younger, but then, yeah. I don't want to hit old people.

Never hit your elders, actually. It's a respectful thing to say. I bruise easily now. So don't actually slap me. A little tap on the wrist for do. If you would like to get involved in next week's Galley Gossip, then send us a DM on Insta or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-61797992.

Or click the link in the episode description. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com. Bye.