Leave A Message with Ally & G - I Caught My FIANCÉ Cheating With MY D**?! We’re Moving MAD!!

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

We can’t believe this ACTUALLY happened…Ally and G are talking all things weddings this week, as Ally declares it a cardinal sin to wear the same colour as the bridesmaids, while G is desperate for that sacred blue tick so she can add a few more credentials to her DM sliding.PLUS, our craziest dilemma EVER. One unsuspecting fiancée walks in on her husband-to-be doing something he absolutely should not be doing… with a member of HER family. And if that wasn’t enough, another Gally needs some good old-fashioned sisterly advice on navigating the terrifying world of adulthood.FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've reached leave a message with me, Ali and me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you've taken your dad somewhere, he absolutely should not have been. I'm so sorry. That needs to be amended. That sounds like you've taken him to a strip club.

I mean, whether you've taken your dad somewhere, he absolutely shouldn't be. They went to a beach and he was sick, okay? I just want to make sure that everyone is listening and doesn't think, you know. Six and two, three is in my opinion, to be honest. Beach club, strip club.

Shut up. all a club. I'll remind you of that when your husband goes to a strip club on his head, honest I could do. What husband? Let me resume or whether your therapist was never actually a therapist. This is a podcast for you. Okay. I've been moving mad since we last saw

each other. That was a 48 hour, a mere 40 hours ago. I am. What do you mean moving mad? I'm sliding into DM so I guess it's my full-time job. I'm literally I can't be stopped. Good, thank. Everyone's been asking to do this years. I know. Well, basically, I was genuinely waiting until I had a blue tick. Because I was like, oh, you're going to be waiting a long time for G4, so I three to get a blue tics. No, because Francesca Scambler has actually been snaking me, because I thought this whole time she was applying for all three of us. And she's not. Why not? I don't want a blue tick.

Yes, you do. No, I don't. I want to be an entity of and to my own. Then you would be private, so you don't want that. No, because I don't really need Ali Matt to have a, what do I need Ali Matt to have a blue tick for? Because it's all one in the same. I don't know if you know, baby, you are Ali from Ali and G. Why would you want a blue tick on Ali Mac on G4 side three? I think it's... Well, largely to pull, but also because if Ali and G get a blue tick, we should have a blue tick because I don't know if you know, but we are Ali and G. Like, I'm sorry. Oh no, she's applying for, for, I knew, I always knew that. But it's not Ali and G get engaged. It's Ali McIntosh gets engaged. That's the head. I know, but basically, if we're going to prioritize somebody, Sorry, us having a row now.

This is why our business meetings look like. If we should have a priority, it should be Ali and G. Ali and G's got the most followers. Ali and G's had more, more like, you know. Well, then I'll use Ali and G to slide into DMs. You should be.

What are you? They've got more numbers than G4 side. What fuck? G4 side three. Because I look a bit like bait on Ali and G. That guy, guys, when I was out the other night, this guy said to me that I look really thirsty online. No one will ever get with me because of how thirsty and desperate I look.

And that is probably Ali and G that's making me look that way. Think about all the videos on there. I'm gagging for a day. That's our literal business lifeblood. So you can't stop doing that, sadly. Can I tell you a pet peeve? If you're listening, this is not going to be very good for you. But I'm sucking on this straw currently for this matcher.

I've got about two sips left and the straw has just died. I've just pinned this all back. I suck, suck, suck, sucking and nothing's coming. Look. That's what she said. Suck, suck, sucking, aren't you? How's that going for you? Suck, suck, suck, sucking and nothing's coming.

That would never happen with me, joking. Pick me. Such a picture. You want to talk about things that make you look thirsty that... Oh yeah, it's my own fault. It's your own fault. I'm witnessing the consequences of my own actions. I don't reckon anyone having a blue tics actually got much to do with it.

I do think it might be the words coming out your own mouth. I'm ever so sorry. Bummer. Thought it was maybe the bad edit. Right, anyway, so you've been moving mad. You've been sliding into DMs. Yeah, quite successfully, I would say. Two out of two have responded

Yeah She's got a date with one of them Yeah Now you're in the habit Why don't we just chuck a couple more out Oh yeah so who should I DM Who you look Who are DMing who you finding

What's the vibe Just anyone that I think is like No one guy I we actually met Out Out Out we were at an event At an event And I actually didn't DM him

I just followed him And then he DM'd me That's the perfect situation That's the dream Like that's how you wanted to Because you do did do that with Don't say his name. Be his name.

You can look him off, is he? I thought that, you know, he was like, it was going to be a love story. I mean, I could have guessed it wasn't going to be a love story, but I was holding out. I was holding a lie. Guys, everyone know Lucinda's Light from Married at First Eye. I've seen recently that when she collapsed with someone and they don't accept her collab post, she comments and tags them and she's like, where are you at, feel free to accept this collaboration. Sending you love and life.

Sending you love and light. I'm holding a light for you. Right, so come on, who else are going to DM? This is so fun. Now the shackles are off. You're free. You've actually always been free. I don't know why we've suddenly woken up to this.

Well, I know. I think I am free from like, I'm not embarrassed. I just think worse, that happens, you don't reply. Okay, fine. I've had many that I've sent and they haven't replied. This is good, babe. How has this come about? 30.

Good. I reckon. It's freeing. It's so liberating. Look at me sat here with match for my t-shirt. I don't care. Give a shit. Give a shit.

Firsty. quenched. I'm all of it. Do you know what I mean? Okay, who else could we DM? Why doesn't people... But like, guys, serious suggestions don't. Don't be fucking DMing us. Like, I don't know, Jacob Alluding.

I mean, it's just stupid. Seriously. Well, he's taken famously now since him and Kendall Jenner have been in her house all week. I know. Having the time of their lives. And the River Cafe.

I text Jack's on holiday. I said, you're a Pee... You were my boots on the ground journalist. He lives around... To get to River Cafe. When celebrities do stuff like that, I do think all guys, like, did you not think to look at like, you know, top jaw

and see where's like overrated, underrated, like where's actually good to eat? They're American. They always go to places that I think. Because all their LA friends will be like, go to the river cafe. It's so amazing. Also, can I just tell you about Kendall and Jacob,

if you want a bit of like, you know, tea on the entertainment industry, I just need everyone to know that those pap pictures are so staged. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, guys, if you're all buying into the fact that they just got caught out by literally every paparazzi in London happen to just be waiting there when they, at the exact moment that they let... The tip-off comes from within.

The tip-off comes from Chris Jenna. Yeah. Like, that's what you need to know. Yeah. Did you see Simone Ashley just got packed with her, you man? Tip-off, isn't he? Do her and Callum do it all the time. That is this Hollywood for you.

Yes, and then they'll go to the PAPs. Have you got it? Okay, thank you. And then the PAPs have to leave. Yeah. That's the way it works nowadays. It didn't used to be like that. I think it did used to be a bit more like,

you know, hiding in bushes vibes. Maybe if they're like, you know, yes, but especially for a dinner reservation where you're literally leaving to get to the car, I reckon it's always been called the cops. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Call the paps. I'll be calling the paps. Please, I can't wait to call the fucking paps.

I wish I had a hotline bling to the paps. We have got hotline bling to a papp. Who are you calling? Who's that man, a day... Was his name? Dave. I won't speak about Dave by it because he snakes me every time. Dave Bennett. We could call Dave Bennett. Dave, I've never looked good

in a Dave Bennett pick. What, that's what we say. Dave, have you got it? Let us check those. Everyone just hold up. We'll walk again. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should actually do that.

Babe, that's what they... When we're famous enough to do that. They pay the Paps to get the good shot. That is a very well-known thing. Don't worry about Dave Bennett's making you. He won't be snaking you if he was on the fucking payroll. Oh my God, get it, Dave Bennett. This is what I was finding out when I was watching the Jordan Dock

because she's a genius. I can't remember quite what she did, but it was something like she managed to get like 10% of every Pat picture that was sold. Britney Slaves, I think, did the same. And she was making a killing. Millions. Amazing.

And it was in the time where she was dating everyone. Like she'd be like, she was hop, skipping a jumping through these, like, she went out with Gareth Gates. Did anyone remember that? She went out with everyone. I totally forgot she went out with Gareth Gates. I thought, what a sleigh? Britney Spears as well at one point, she was like,

it must have been TMZ or like another. the TMZ. She was like, at one point, I was genuinely the only person paying their bills. Wow. Like, they were just making money just off me. Because that was when she like shaved her head and, you know, had a mental health crisis. Well, and also when Pat pictures were way more valuable because no one was putting pictures on social media.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So what have you been doing with your 48 hours? Well, I've been thinking about if I was an animal, what would I be? Why? No, I was just thinking about that. Because then I was thinking, if you could choose to be an Afghan greyland. I'm an Afghan house.

I am an Afghan hound. So what is I to think about? But then I was thinking, what would I like to be? Oh, like, as in what would you like to come back at us? If I was not me. Like if you're reincarnate. What animal would I choose? And I think I might choose a dolphin.

Yeah, lovely. They live quite nice lives. I think they do. And I don't believe they have any predators. They must have some predators. Sharks, maybe really big sharks. Or turtles. Turtles have good lives?

Turtle. I thought you meant as a predator for a dolphin. I was like, turtle. I don't know a lot about under the sea but I know that What would you be? If you were an animal, what would you be?

I'd obviously be a house cat Nah, you're not very cat-like at all I think you'd be like a beagle No, no no but as in, to come back in my life Oh sorry I hate it when you loki try and insult me Why am I catching strays? A fucking beagle

Beagle. Beagles are so cute They have to be one of the ugliest dogs Wait, what? No, they're not A beagle? Yeah, I think you're thinking of the wrong thing. Beagles are so cute. I think. Beagles have like faces like, they're cute. Wait, what am I thinking of then? Tell me that it's not cute. I mean, I wouldn't say it's one of the

ugliest dog. Okay, yeah, one of the other, sorry, that was a bit mean to beagles. God, sorry to any beagles that are listening. Yes. Why would I be a beagle? Don't they like hunt? I'm not very hunty. True. Do they hunt? I don't think I'm a beagle. Christ, look at this fat beagle. Oh no. Do you know I sometimes see these dogs on TikTok that have been so abused by their families that they can't stand up and walk and they have to be put on these treadmills in the water

because they can't hold their own weights and the water managers. It's so sad. Yeah, I think I would want to come back as a house cat. I think that's a pretty cool life. Oh, you're stuck inside. They're the same four walls. No, no, but like, okay, sorry, not,

I don't mean house cat. I want to be able to go and come back. You want to be a cat. A first tended for cat. A cat that lives in a house. Yeah, but like a nice house. So I can pick and choose when I go to the streets and when I don't. I actually kind of live like a cat now, to be honest.

No, but cats are very lonely. You're not lonely. You're not really melancholic. Also, they're always getting in scraps on the street. You're fun, little scrap. Come back home. No, but they're not a pack animal. Do you know what?

Lift the wounds. You should not be a pack animal, but you actually really are. Why would I not be a pack animal? Oh, I see. Yeah, but maybe that's why. True. I think. Well, so I'm only.

children. I mean no defamation to any children. How many only children do you know? Actually quite a lot. That girl we met. That girl we met. Who did we meet the other day? You don't even know her name. So you don't know any only children. Izzy, what animal do you think you would like to be? A mere cat. You kind of look like a make cat too. Is that offensive?

Yeah. Again, strays. No, I think. Mere cat's a quite chic. Cute, skinny. tall. Yeah. They are prey though, I would say. True. But she gives prey stray. Strays. She gives prey, animal. You're not a predator.

I feel like I could. You are an easy prey. If a boy texts you, oh my God, you'll save you for you. You're like, oh, you're only with my husband. And that's pray. That's giving you giving prey. That's so mere cut of me. That is giving. That's very mere cat of me. That is giving. That's very meek of them. the hams come up and you're like, where do you want me? That's going to be going to.

Yeah. 100% living in a little hole. I love it. Fine. Love it. I feel like you could be a bird. I agree. I totally agree.

I mean, doesn't everyone want to be an eagle in like Yosemite? Probably. Honestly, no. No, because babe, you'd love to fly. You love famously, you love flying. I'd be so bored. It's quite dull up there. I was trying to tell you.

I thought you liked a long whole time. It's quite literally what I was trying to tell you and you were like. Guys, eagles can't watch 12 hours of films. You've missed the point. True. They've not got their little screens. I don't think eagles have many brain cells either. I thought eagles were really smart.

They're really smart. They've always that man like castles and stuff with the eagle. With a big gloves. Yeah. The claws, it's not for me. It's not, that's not cheek. As a dolphin, you've got no arms or legs. Yeah, that's hard. What will you do all day?

Also, dolphins are very squealy. You're not very squealy as a person. True. But you have the skin of a dolphin. I think it looks very smooth. Yes. True. Yes.

So that, that so it's well for you. Anyway, that's honestly, okay, so I've done that. I've, um... I've had my thoughts, my long thoughts about that. Yeah, good. What else have I done? Did you pack? Tell the people where you're going this weekend.

I'm going to look at wedding venues initially, everybody. That's so exciting. Oh my goodness. Yeah. Did you say in a previous episode you were going to do 10 in a weekend? Is that still happening? I believe it's nine. Wow.

Hopefully. Wait, didn't you have a call today? Yes, we did. How was it? Guys, if you need a wedding planner, I will name her, Jamima Salvesta Wed at Maze and Lila. When I say, she is so funny. She's got two kids.

I never knew that. I love, sorry, that's an awful thing to say. No, no, no. I do, like, rate a woman that you don't know that, like, straight off the bat. Because I think, like, often it's like the lead in. And I think, save it. Let me, let me guess it. That's what that, and I won't name her, but the one of the girls that we went to

Maroon 5 with one of the brand girls. Yes, two kids. She said something like, I've had my children and now I'm living for me and I'm living for my career. And I thought, do you know what? I literally am obsessed with you. Anyway, Jemima. Her kids are five and two. Wow.

Is she young? When you say Jemima, I imagine a very young girl. She's probably a little bit older than us. Fine. But she, like if my house burned out, I would call her. She is so organised and like, I just feel so safe. Anyway, I said to her, are you like really in the trenches of no sleeve? Because like, you know, two year olds are fucking hard work.

She goes, no, my kids were. sleep train from three months. Fair. And I thought, wow. Okay. So you actually, you know, do run the world. Anyway. And what did she say today then?

Tell us more. Tell us more. She said, text me as you go. And she's given a whole checklist. Have you got a group chat? Yeah. We've got a whole page itinery. Did you pick the venues or did she pick the venues?

She organized all the site visits. She organized. Also, she's like, I would not have thought about this. She was like, I've built in time for lunch. I've booked you rest because all these places they have a restaurant. So I've put you lunch on Friday and Saturday at both of these places. Like, she is amazing. So she's booked everything.

Then she was like, these are the places you need to go check out for the Friday night. I've already made you a reservation. Then she's given us a checklist of questions you have to ask. So it's like, obviously, you know, outside's beautiful. What's the wet weather? There's this like 20. Yeah. Then like what about like times for the bride?

Like so many questions. Obviously no one would ever think to ask. How many decibels of the music can you? play would never have thought about that. She was like, I can't remember the number that she said, but she was like, there's a certain number that it needs to be above otherwise. Literally no one will hear the music. Wow.

She is amazing. So anyway, I actually feel quite good about it and I feel exciting. And yeah, I'll obviously keep you, I'll obviously take millions of pictures so you can all see. And we can have a debrief next week. And then we'll know. Sorry, do you reckon you'll have it picked by next week? I hope so.

Because in a dream world, we wouldn't have to go anywhere like, go anywhere. like go anywhere else. Yeah. It's a lot to have to do that again. Well, because Mawley and Tom, it's so funny because as soon as their wedding pictures, I know everything about that venue. Really?

Yeah. That's like the place to get married in New York. But it's not, it's 2020s and completely booked. You'd have to wait to 2028. It's not that expensive. It's a day fee. You can't stay there. You can't stay there.

Well, I saw them all on the bus. Yeah. So that makes sense. That's it. But no, I haven't packed because we booked Bifa last night. And by the time we put it, I was, you know, starving. I know. I was literally so confused.

I was like, I feel like I've had a big lunch, but I'm so hungry. I was on my knees. I was on my knees. But I had this really weird chicken. I don't know what happened. That chicken cooked took over an hour to cook. And it was just thighs. I put it in the oven at 8 o'clock and it wasn't done until 9.15.

Oh, you do like to overcook a chicken though because you're very pranning. It wasn't even overdone. She's very prangy about her chicken. I think I need a meat temperature. Yes, because you just need to know. I'm so. You're not very good by. No.

Especially thigh. Thy is quite pink. I know. So I cut it open and I thought this is, I'm going to get salmonella. So you put it in for another half an hour when it's probably cooked. Of course. Of course. Because thigh is famously pink.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So. Oh my God, crazy. Yeah. Crazy. Yeah. Oh my God, wait.

Is that, yeah. I need a wedding on Friday, yeah. Dress? No, not yet. No. It's Wednesday. I'm at this point doing it for the plot, I think. I can't quite figure out what's happening.

Did the really expensive what you've got that one? Okay. So I've ordered lots. I was going to rent from buy rotation the dress. I said this last week, I think. But basically, I rented another dress from biotation ages ago, which I forgot about it came, but it is the same colour as a bridesmaid's dresses, pretty much.

So I don't think I can wear that. I'm going to try it on, but I can't wear it. And then I bought that really expensive dress. I just want everyone to just take note of the decision that she's making to not wear the same colour as the bridesmaids. Because people would ignore that. You should never ignore that. Don't do that.

You look like a bag. Yeah. You're not a brismaid. Do you know what I do? Yeah, I do. You're like, oh, include me. No, no, no, no. You're not a bridesmaid.

I've done that. I've done that. You've been the bag? That's naughty. Not on purpose. I didn't know. Yeah, how do you know that you know? Well, why aren't people saying?

Because this was my first ever wedding. I genuinely did not know. And I literally, someone came up to me and said, are you a bridesmaid? And I was like, oh, this is not horrifying. Awful. Mortifying. I actually didn't know the colour. I did have to ask, but I would always ask because I know from being a bridesma.

Well, now I know. I've been around the block. Yeah. You've got to ask. You can't do that. It's embarrassing. For you, it's embarrassing. Yeah.

I don't actually think anyone else cares. It's embarrassing for you. I agree. And also, people might ask you to move chairs or like show them the way to the toilets. Fuck that. You're not working. When you're a Brisemaid, you're at work. I agree.

I'm not working today. I'm off. So I've got that dress and then I picked up the top shot one today. From where? From wait shows. So, because I ordered it from John Lewis. No, John Lewis has got some good deals. Yeah.

Tell me about it. Right. I'm going to do a hashtag try on hall tonight and I'll put it on stories tomorrow. Can I get a preview of hashtag try on haul or am I going to have to watch it with the rest of the world? Do you want one? Obviously yes. Okay then. This is like one time, I must have bought something and I didn't show her or tell her.

And I put it on stories and she was like, what the actual fuck, I literally can't believe you didn't help send me that before you put that on stories. I was like, oh my God, I'm actually so sorry. I'm actually so possessive. Me too. I have a really bad thing about that. I have that too. If you, babe, if I see that on our fucking stories tomorrow, and I have not received those pictures, there will be, there will be words.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I do it all the time, like, oh, well, you suddenly like that medicule product that you never told me about, okay? I'm like, bollocks. That was like when you started having that pretz sandwich. I didn't know about that. Oh, that breakfast sandwich. And you said, what's this new thing?

And I said, what fucking you think? I can't wait to eat that on Friday, actually. I do, when I haven't been away for a while. Okay, sorry. So, wanky of me. What have I've been away for like a couple of weeks? Sorry, sorry. Sorry, but I've forgotten my last travel experience.

I've forgotten my last travel experience and now that I'm like now that I'm far away from it I'm like oh airport fun haven't been to Stansted since I flew to you in Greece Stansford there's nothing excited for it there's nothing to be excited about in Stansett they just opened one. Did we excite to? Guys can I talk about this year? Yeah yeah yeah this is so funny because I am about to lose

Do you not think that funny that picture was the funny? It was funny, it was funny. You disagree but it's true. Can we put it in insert picture now? So I have had beef about this set since the beginning. But when we first started here at Audio Always, I thought, you know when you start somewhere new,

you don't want to rock the boat. I've never had that experience. So thank God she got that chair because I would have said on day one. I hate this chair. Yeah, he would have done. That's why I let you, because I'm agreeable. I let you have that chair.

I saw that that was the nicer chair. And I thought, no worries, Ali can have a nicer chair. No, but she's taller, so she needs a short chair. In my defence. Fine. And she's also smaller and the chair indults her. And I'm, I'm spilling out of my chair, like an ogre.

That's what I mean. Every week, every week I can't get comfortable because there's no fucking space on this chair. If you're listening on Apple, you can actually switch to video and you'll be able to see how enormous I look in this chair. Sorry, okay, I just want to say that is so defamatory to anyone that's actually ever spilled out of a chair. You're not spilling out of anything. Okay, true, but I can't like fit. Listen, it's a small chair. Like, my feet fall off it, the microphone knocks over.

And every week I watch the video and the one thing I think is I look too big for that. And then recently I got to the point where I was like, I know why it's annoying me because I look like Will Farrell in Elf. And then I found that picture and I thought this is actually it. Anyway, we had some good news with the pod. Listenership's been up, girls. Absolute sleigh, thank you to you.

So I thought now's the time to make some demands. She said to me this morning, well, I thought 35% up I'll be making some demands now. I think that it did. I think that perfectly time, wasn't it? I've been waiting this long. say, guys, this chair every week tips me over the edge. And I think it's, can we not just have another one of these?

I'll try. I don't know where we got it from. It's quite old that. So we'll have to see. Anyway, if you see me in a new chair, it's because I've kicked off a rifle. She started making demands. All right, nine months in, demands are being made. Just feel like a human in a model village, do I mean? Shut up! Shut up! Human in a model village, shut up. You got things to do on your phone? text your answer are we keeping you doing your email guys i i am so prangy but i smell don't i

i haven't smelt you today yesterday you did i did smell so my friend on saturday night she was so she was so funny and i said to you're our reason for 35% up she said to me you're so relatable because you talk about not wanting to have sex with your boyfriend and no one else is doing that yeah you're flying that flag and i said me and sophia abut are the only two fucking girls on the worldwide web talking about not wanting to have sex to their boyfriend. And we'll leave that thought with you. So if you, I just want to validate you.

Right. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, Galley's welcome back. What will we call the garrows this week? Oh, great. Jemima. What do we call them? Jemima.

Come on. Okay, let's hear our first voice note. Hey, gals. So I recently heard a really crazy wedding story. Love. a couple who are in the build-up to their wedding. They're staying in a really nice spa hotel, and it's like literally getting to the day before. And the bride says to the groom, you know, what are you going to do today, the day before the wedding? And the groom says,

he fancied getting a massage. So the bride says, oh, no problem. I'll head out to town while you're getting your massage. I'll stay out of your hair while that's going on. And then we can, you know, reconvene later on. So the bride heads out to town, but halfway there, she realizes that she's forgotten her wallet. So she goes back to the hotel, she's saying. And the hotel room is like a suite, so they've got the main kind of like living area and then separated by a door, there's the bedroom.

So she goes into the main area, and she's looking around, can't find her wallet. So she realizes, oh, okay, it must be in the bedroom, thinks, I'll just quickly knock and then go in, expecting to find her husband having a massage, but she walks in and she finds her husband to be, being shagged by her dad. Oh no!

Is wearing her wedding dress. That's not true. Her dad is wearing her wedding dress. What would you have done in that situation? Fiancé's wearing the wedding dress, shagging. What? Sorry, what would you have done in that situation is outrageous? Obviously, love it.

What would you mean? What would you have done that situation? That situation should never, ever, ever happen to anyone. Honestly, I didn't know what I'd do in that situation. Honestly, no clue. Should we just... it into layman's terms for you

your dad I'm retrystabe I don't need there's no layman's terms necessarily I've understood and I just have a question was the

was the fiancé being shied like who was on top does it matter who was top and who was bottom honestly yes really I what so you'd react differently oh right

well if you're just a top it's fine I mean it's not fine but it's not you know or you think it's better that he's railroading your dad that's awful

Sorry, I've never said railroading before. I don't know what I was. But either way, the fiancé is wearing your wedding dress and he's shagging the dad. Or the dad is shagging. Yeah, whatever. In my head, it's the bride, in inverted commas, is being shagged.

Yeah, I agree. Like, he might be on all force. See, that in my opinion. Yeah, that's how I imagine it. Me too. Oh, I sort of had him face down on the bed. Fine. Absolutely fine.

How you imagine it's how you imagine it. What you do in your private time is what you do in your private time. Right. Well, obviously what I do in that situation is change my name, cancel my wedding and move country, probably. I would tell every single guest and I wouldn't care. I would genuinely get a banner and attach it to an aeroplane and fly it over England. Yeah, I'd walk down the aisle myself with everyone sat and I'd be like, hi guys. So you might see I'm not wearing my dress because it was soiled.

And you might see that my fiancé isn't here and neither is my dad. Let me tell you for why. And then I would tell everyone. And then I'd say, but, you know, we're not going to waste a good time, good food, good wine. Let's go and have a party. That's what I was saying. Do you know, on TikTok this morning, I saw this girl. She went so viral.

She, her whole wedding was but they were a week out. Her fiancee left her. A week out is so cowardly. Like you've had, how long? It's a waste of money. Oh, I don't like it at all. I hope she had insurance. Well, she didn't.

She had her wedding without him. She literally had her whole party, everything. She had literally had her whole wedding, makeup, everything. Everything was but. And he just wasn't there. They just had a fucking boot off. That's actually quite amazing. As you should.

I think that's the only thing to do. That's what this woman should do. That's exactly what she should have done. What would you do? What would you do? I'd party hard. And I would take his massage because I actually think that's a genius idea, by the way.

Had he had an actual massage? I think that's really clever. You should do that the night before. The night before your wedding. Babe, will you sleep in the bed with me the night before? I don't sleep for my own. You don't want to sleep raw? No.

Oh, what? Because you're chastised. You're talking out. Waiting for marriage, are you? No, no, I don't want to sleep with him. You don't? No. I think it's quite nice.

Should I want to see with you? Yeah, well, I'll sleep with you. Of course I will. Of course I will. I won't sleep. I'll be like, I'm so excited. I'm crudely. I'm like, what do you want to do about?

No, no, I don't want to sleep with him. Okay, fine. No, gross. And what if he snores and what if he's annoying and he'll see all my staff. Fine. Fine. Yeah, count me in. Obviously.

Yeah, obviously. Can't wait. Yeah, that's what I would do. I would have a boot off, have the whole wedding. And I genuinely would tell Facebook, LinkedIn, Instagram, anywhere you can put that. Put that. God, first course she'd have to make as her mom if her parents are together.

That's shocking. At least you'd be like sisters are doing it to themselves. If they hadn't seen me, I would text you and say, come to my room right now. I'm not carrying the trauma alone. I need someone else to see this. You need to get here stat. Emergency. Urgent.

I'll leave the key card outside. Let yourself in. I'll be there. That is really bad. Listen, I think everyone should just shague whoever they want to shague. shag. But I do think within the confides of that dynamic, that's very bad. Shag whoever you want to shag, other than your fiancé's family, I don't know. That's a wild. You should have left her. Why is everyone staying for so long? Well, no, but he obviously was staying with her so he could

shag her dad. But they probably could have been together regardless. I mean, other than the fact that her dad was married, is married. We assume. We assume. Fair. He might be saying he might have done nothing that bad. I mean, quite bad. It's good. It's really bad. Do you know what I think about that? When was the moment? Yes, I always think about this. They looked at each other and thought, me, you.

Quick shag. Room covered. I mean, that is wild. I think that all the time, we say this all the time with, like, when it's with a friend or like whatever, like when your best, when Katie Price, for example, like how did her partner end up shagging her best friend? Like, when did they look at each other and think,

yeah, we fancy each other? How are you getting to the point where you were allowing that to happen? that's not allowed to happen. Especially when it's your fiancé's dad. I would say. Especially. Kind of number one person you shouldn't be fancying is your fiancé's dad.

And also, guys, like one weekend, what are you animals? Addicks? Like, it's one weekend, so don't shag. Well, it's your wedding weekend, number one. But maybe it was lost. Hazzar. Maybe they both agreed.

Oh, it's quite sweet. Big pre-wedding blowout. It's quite sweet, really. If they loved each other, maybe they said to each other, we're not going to do this anymore once you're married. So let's have,

one last one in the mouth of a bit. Now, it's not right. It's really bad. I can't justify. I'm trying to... Imagine the texts before. Like, let's just have one... Yeah, one last wedding...

Pre-wedding girl out. Imagine if they made, like, gags about, like, him being the masseuse. Like, I'll get rid of, you're not. That's so bad. I don't know how you recover from that, so... Well, I'll be talking about that in the pub. Everyone keeps asking what's the best story you've ever had on the pod. That...

That's really good, that one. Eating the shit. Oh, I did that one the other day. And... proposing on the wedding floor. Oh, I never tell that one. I tell people that all the time. Because I'm often at fucking weddings,

having these conversations. I said, imagine if someone right now just got down one of them. Okay, I'm going to use that this weekend. If someone else was, that's brilliant. Okay, great. Those are my top three. You've made it into the top three

because you've displaced the kidney. Because I've heard some rumors about the kidney story. Me too. And so, you know, this is definitely better. This is really good. Thank you. And I'm so sorry.

To that girl. No, you're fine. But the girl, I'm really sorry. I'm really sorry to. everyone involved in that actually every single person I think is deeply, deeply troubled. I think maybe like no need for family therapy. Let's do individual therapy first. Yeah, yeah. I don't think I'd be speaking to my dad again or looking him in the eye ever again. Okay, it's now time for an email. Yes.

Hi, Ali and G, absolutely obsessed with you both. You make up about 85% of my background noise whenever I'm having a bad day. We're really slay background noise actually. Someone the other day said it's my numbing bullshit. That is brilliant background noise. And I thought, tick. Exactly what we're going for. exactly what we put on the poster. Thank you. I need big sister advice. Okay. I'm 17, about to go into my last year of A-levels and I recently got with my first ever boyfriend about two months ago. I'm struggling to navigate the changes this has brought to my life, e.g. having sex, not knowing how to chill out on being so completely obsessed with him. Getting a UTI, feeling a bit

insecure as he had a girlfriend before, drifting from some close friends due to jealousy on their part, being opened up to a new group of people because of said boyfriend, a pregnancy scare and the morning after pill. Bloody hell. This all go. That does happen though, doesn't it? No, no.

They chuck everything at you. I look back on that period of my life. I'm not even joking, guys, you could not pay me 100 grand to go back to being 17. I know. You're doing really well, babe. Girls, I low-key feel a bit out of my depth, especially given that I lost my mum two years ago

and I'm the older sister, so I don't really have anyone to talk to about this despite having a very supportive dad. Sweet dad. Are A level is the biggest deal. I kind of just want to travel and not have a job. Love you guys. Okay, well, love you.

Let's take one thing off your plate, A levels. No, let's take one thing off your plate, the pill. That will cross all your worry. I'm sorry. I think she should go on the pill. I think, listen, I actually hate it when people say that as like a fix-all. But let's go through the list of concerns you have here. Dr. McIntosh will see you now.

Thank you. I'm actually quite anti-pill. as a first, like, I think it's just... Well, that's like an only capsule works for everyone. Okay, let's not say the pill. Let's just say contraception of some description. That is not condoms. Great.

Regular contraception, coil, implant, whatever the fuck you want. Try a few. Let's tick off a pregnancy scare and morning after pill. So that's dealt with. Right. Getting a UTI. Having sex, that was on your list as well. That's also dealt with.

Having sex are not dealt with just because she's on the fucking pill. Okay, sorry. Getting a UTI easily, you just pee after sex. That's, that's also. I'll do it. Drink some cranberry juice. Caniston. Get canister.

Always just have canister in it. And never be embarrassed of having UTIs, thrush. Just like deal with it as and when. Say you can't have sex when you've got one and do not be embarrassed about having one. And genuinely sit on the loo for half. Drink a litre of water and sit on the lou for half an hour until you piss off. Like, do not get up from that loo until you have weed. Amen.

Okay. So that's three things ticked off the list. Right. Let's go through this then. Being obsessed with him is tricky. Well, it is tricky. but I can tell you now it does pass. It does.

Uh, yes. To the point where you want to like breathe the same oxygen as them all the time, that hopefully should pass. I think it takes a while. It takes a while and there are things that you can do to wean yourself off. Exactly. And I think you sometimes have to actively do those things.

Like, do not bail on your friends, for example. Exactly that. Do not bail on your family dinner nights. Do not, do not prioritize him so much. Do not center him so much in your life that you do not. prioritize pretty much everything else because that is way too easy. Exactly. Go on your girls' nights. If your friends are hanging out on a Friday night and that's the only night he can see you and you have

the plan with them first, do not under any circumstances bail on them. The world will keep spinning and he will stay with you. I think that's where it all comes from is maybe this deep fear that you've found someone and it's like one of your first proper boyfriends and you really like him and there's this kind of fear that like if I'm not perfect he will leave and that is not true and if that is true then he's not for you or you feel like out of sight out of mind if I don't see him he'll forget about me right again bollocks yeah and if that's true not for you exactly but I think there are lots and lots like even things like I you know in the beginning as well you want to like go to the gym together and you want to do all of your revised together together yeah try if you can to avoid keeping the things

that are for you still for you, like going for a run or I don't know, there might be some things that you like to do on your own. I used to do this a bit with Raw and then I realized, why am I doing this?

I actually, wait, I used to go on a run with Raw and I thought, I actually kind of hate this. I actually kind of hate this because I feel like I'm having to keep up with you. Do you what I mean? I've just had quite of this so.

Sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what just happened. visceral memory burpee I was so sorry guys that really came so viscerally I was back there

I just went back to comedy gold to Turkey there for a second to Roar is really I love him so much I really do and that's why it really makes me laugh but he's quite all or nothing as a person

and that applies to him when he exercises so when we go on holiday together the three of us. Yeah, yeah. He likes to do boot camp. Like, he likes the fact that Al and I work out. So, like, he's like, oh, girls. He wants to be in with the gang, yeah.

He wants to be in with the gang. So, like, we'll wake up and it's always like, let's do it. Rawl loves a hit. Like, that's his jam, right? Yeah. Because he likes to feel sweaty. He feels like if he's sweaty, he's really worked. Exactly.

I fear this story is not going to be funny if you weren't there. I'm really sorry that I've just laughed like that. And it's probably going to be really underwhelming for all of you. But anyway, so we're there. It's probably day three. day three of here is it? Yeah. And we're outside, we're staying in a really nice villa and we're outside.

You know, they have like marble floor, really like rock solid, like. Lo-lake. Yeah. Like hardcore. Like, pool floor. Like, yeah. Yeah, it's hardcore. So we're like in this little corner where it's the only bit of shade.

And we've got the hit on. He's like, come on then, girls. Come on. He's really giving it like the big, me and all are a bit like knackered now. I'm doing this for three days straight and I'm not a hit girl personally. So I'm like, I'm on my knees more. Anyway, so we get it.

See, for imagine he's like pumping himself. He's like hyped. He's like, come on, men guys, come on. Music's playing. First move out the gate. I think we did a few, like, Walmart. We did a few more marks. First move out of the gate was.

Yeah, so he's done his little jumping jazz. His little, I'm already feeling quite like, you know, shagg. Yeah. And also quite humoured from watching him do his quick steps. Yeah. Oh, there is no better TV show than Roe doing hit. Yeah. Anyway, first move out the gate, straight.

with a burpee, I think we're a hardcore. Raw goes so hard down to the ground that he smacks his genitals on this marble floor. On the marble floor, so hard, like, I swear to God, I can still hear the noise of that slap. It was literally like,

and he... Oh, God, my ball, oh my God, my balls! Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. And he keeps going to go by this. Like this deep in breath Like he can't breathe And Alan and I

God bless are crying Like I was actually like What's just happened there That did happen to me I really just see it And then he's like He's so invested in the hit That he won't stop

No no no So he's like Anyway girls Anyway girls Who's to do it I'll be running with more Guys I'm so sorry To hijack that conversation

Please Dr Macintosh was giving really good advice And I just had a No no But you know The point is Don't do those things

With him Right Don't do them. Or do. Or do, but like, you know. And take him off the pedestal a little, you know? I really think it's important. I think in the beginning of a relationship, I definitely, I mean, we've been together so long.

And I wouldn't obviously never do this now. But I think in the beginning, you, especially when it's your first, like, you're obsessed with them, you want to do everything with them. And I think it's, that is how people lose themselves in their relationships because they've got nothing left that is just for them at all. It could be really, like, I don't know, your own TV shows that you like to watch with that. Have something for yourself that doesn't rely on him being there, him being able to talk to you about it. There's so many ways that you need to, like, that you can calm out your own life. And I think also on that, because I think you said about like some of your friends, maybe you've lost them because they feel a bit jealous of your relationship. I think if you can try and build those bridges back, I think that's a really good thing.

Because sometimes otherwise your whole friendship group becomes his friend. and that's actually like not that good like you want to keep your own friends and maybe that will be by prioritising them where you can and then they'll feel less jealous because do you know what I mean? What's there to be jealous of if they still have access to you and you're the same friend that you've always been?

I think another big like easy thing to do is like for example with your old friend with your existing friends there is nothing I and this is someone in a relationship there is nothing I hate more than us having planned dinner with the girls and then someone's like

oh, I'm bringing my boyfriend. I'm like, oh, yeah, no. He is not invited. He's not one of the girls. Do not ask if he can come. Do not bring him uninvited. Just do not. He doesn't need to be at every social event that you're at.

And also you've got to talk about other things as well. Oh my God. Because I think especially when you're single and especially in 17 when you kind of, you really want a boy, like you want to experience that. You want a partner. Like you want to do that. Yeah.

You know what I mean? And so I think if you have a friend that all they talk about is how great their boyfriend is, I'm not saying you do this. I'm just like, you know, spitballing. Then, that can also be quite isolating for maybe the friends that don't have boy friends. And that can, like, fuel that jealousy maybe. I think it's actually quite an easy situation to mitigate if you're really boundaries with your friends.

I'm not saying, like, always pick him, always pick them over him, but also don't always pick him over them. You've got to have... It's case by case. Yeah. And you've got to be very, like, you've just got to be really good at communicating and you've got to be really clear about who and where you're giving your time to. Because I do think that's where a lot of jealousy. I mean, it's like, so many people do this. They just get a boyfriend and they literally forget that everyone else exists.

That's where the jealousy comes from. That's where the distance comes from. That's where they're like awkward. Then it's just horrible. You know, and like, you know, obviously I pray that you and your boyfriend stay together. But if you don't, the people that will be there for you to pick up the pieces are your friends. Also, I think that's where the whole like wanting to be like, I think that's where everything becomes so much bigger when it's to do with your relationship. Like thinking about the sex, thinking about his new friends, thinking about like trusting him.

of that stuff gets bigger because it's the only thing that's filling your time. Whereas if you have other stuff filling your time, that stuff is just stuff that you're experiencing anew and it's exciting and you can also talk to your friends about it. And I think it's just about maybe, you know, not making it smaller, but like not like letting it take all the oxygen. No, no, but not centering it. Exactly.

Yeah. Exactly. And sorry, I just also want to say two things. You said having a being opened up to a new group of people because of, so basically his friends. my advice here sis is like I think it's too easy in those groups

or those rooms to go in basically trying to convince everyone in that room to like you yes you don't need to do that you don't

he likes you that's enough he likes you yeah if you get on great that's epic and now you have

some people that you can hang out with together if they don't it doesn't matter it's fine you have your own friends you don't

You won't really see them unless it's like a birthday or a big party. It's not going to really affect your life and it definitely shouldn't affect, you know, who you are in here. You want to like make an effort, you want to be nice, but you want to take the weight off it. No pressure. No pressure. Number one. Number two, you said, feeling a bit insecure as he had a girlfriend before, I can relate. I think.

Oh, you were obsessed, aren't you? I was, I, what I mean? I'm quite jealous. I'm a jealous person. I obviously have outgrown that you know it'd be kind of worrying if I was still jealous about his ex-girlfriends been around long enough before we've got the rock on your finger

but definitely took me good four years, four or five years to stop like comparing yourself to stop yeah I didn't compare myself to stop even giving them oxygen I see to stop going into a room one of them being there and really hyperfixating on it fine I could walk into a room now and genuinely probably not even really like clock but before Were you like looking her up or were you just

it's just because you were moving in the same circles I guess like yeah if we were like at a party together also my problem was it wasn't it was normally more than one in one room

What a fucking Latario love it because the problem well the thing is he never actually really had ex-girlfriends you just had ex-thing so he was friends with all

none of them were like there was no bad blood anywhere yeah you'd have liked other than with me yeah you were like let's make this blood bad.

I think I was just kind of like, kind of assert my dominance where you feel like, well, I'm his girlfriend now. You feel, it all stems from jealousy and it stems from a place of having to prove to yourself, mainly that you're better than then. I know.

And... Well, it's natural to feel that, I think. Very... Most people feel that. Because it feels like you're almost stepping into shoes and you're not. Like, it's like a new pair of shoes. Do you know what I mean?

I mean, it's not a new pair of shoes if you don't know her and they don't know each other. So if that is the case in this situation, you need to honestly imagine that she doesn't exist like kill her in your mind. Because she kind of doesn't exist. She doesn't exist, of course she doesn't exist.

She doesn't need to exist to you. Love you. Good luck. Good luck, sis. As a Lord of advice, I take from that what you've heard. Sorry about us. We can't stop talking today. Okay, it's time for the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip.

We have got a WhatsApp from JT who needs our help tracking down a certain someone fun. Get your detective hat on, sis. I'm ready. Hey girls, SOS. I need your help with a missed connection in true, hopeless, romantic, modern day rom-com fashion. Love this.

I was at E-1 in London recently. Oh my God. Don't worry. Is that you looking alive? Is that purse code or is that a place? No, it's a club. It's a club. God's sake.

And you think you're you? Fucking hell. Oh, okay. I was at E-1 in London recently and one of the bouncers caught my eye. mixed race, mid-late 20s, short dreds, green eyes and a killer smile. Right, we need to get on their Instagram. Hold on. There was definitely some eye contact happening, but I was so flustered.

All my confidence exited the chat and I left without asking his name or giving him my number. I've been kicking myself ever since. I do this all the time. I hate it. So naturally, I'm turning to you and the internet to help me find my mystery E1 bouncer. Guys, if you are listening or watching this and you know who we're talking about, please comment. I actually bet you there will be someone.

We can find him. I know we can. Give us till next week. Okay, number one, if anyone knows. Number two, my advice to you, I've just gone on their Instagram. They do have 100,000-1-000 followers. Take some time.

Take some time. To go through that 100-1-1-1-1-thus. Double-scroll. Your favourite series is on. Why don't you start at the top of the list? If you can remember, was he wearing a name badge? If there was anything that you could remember, yeah, this is quite easy to scroll through because there are lots of blonde girls on here.

Obviously, it's not him. You need to just really scroll. But also go out again. They must have a night on. Have they got another night on? Smart. Get out there. Good.

That's good. Go and now you know your prepped, you can get an even sexier outfit on. You go again. I really, I know you can find him. You can find him. Definitely you can find him. And, you know, you can have that modern day meat cute that you so desire.

I believe in that. The thing is, it's not really a meat cute, is it? Well, it would have been if you'd have a hunted cute. Yes. It's a meat hunted. Originally it would have been a meat cute if you'd have, you'd have, you know, shot you shot, but alas she did not. Anyway, whatever, we'll call it a meet-you at your wedding.

Let's first find him. Let's find him. Let's hunt him. Let's find out if he's single. If he was giving you eye contact, you normally know you get the vibes, the single vibes. Anyone that's been to E1, when was this, when was this sent? Pretty recently, actually, like last week. Let's say in the last month, if you've been to E1 and you know who the sexy geyser is. Please, please message us. Babe, I think we need to go to E1.

Let's go. What you're doing tonight? Let's go. Out, out. Great. Cool. If you want to get involved in next week's galley gossip, send us a DM on Instagram or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured.

Can I just say one thing? Sorry. Instagram. There's something wrong with me today. I had that yesterday. I was so del lula. Maybe I've got your loopy loops. I was loops.

I was lupy. Don't I know it? Lilpy! She rang me and she was like, just screamed. my face. I was like, hey, yes, sister. We got beef. You're me? Yeah, babe. Because I'm not dressed in Athesia. Yeah. Would you call this Athesia? Would you call that Athesia? I don't know, weirdly, I did think they're not matching today. Well, I'll tell you what, Isabel. It's my fault. Is your name Isabel? Yeah. Okay. I'll tell you why Isabel. No, that was my

fault. I'm really sorry. And I'll read the messages, just, you know, so that everyone can see. So for everyone, um, our audio listeners, Ali is wearing a gorgeous tarla set that I could never pull off. Hence why I'm wearing these... Babe, don't do that to yourself. Cold couture... Why could you not wear this? Why could you not wear this? Not in this chair, I couldn't.

Oh my goodness. I'm wearing these cold cature trackeys and a... Cold culture. Oh, couture. I thought it was like juicy couture. Cold culture. I'm wearing these cold culture, quite baggy tracies and a ruby lute baby tea. And that was not the vibe.

The vibe was ath lewdia. And I want to say I didn't even instigated you. You said. She texts me today, 822. Athlesia today, question mark, I said. Fab. I've let the side down. She rocks up, I said, what the fuck are you wearing? Also, Ali has all the right to do this, because when Al does it, I lose my head.

Because you do do it. And I go, the fuck are you wearing? I forced myself to wear a tank and a jort, and you've come wearing that. Babe, what do you're not calling a jank and a jort. A junk? You're not a call on a joker. Well, we must go now. Guys, if you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice

note to our WhatsApp on 07-7-3.3. or you can click the link in the episode description. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com. See you next week. Bye!