Leave A Message with Ally & G - Our Sex Life KILLED THE DOG?! & He REFUSES To Ask Her Parents For Permission!!

Episode Date: September 30, 2026

Did they really just KILL his dog?! 🐶☠️Ally and G have got A LOT to unpack this week. Ally is questioning Ror’s increasingly creepy sleeping habits, while G has somehow found herself on a date with ANOTHER fan. At this point, we’re starting to wonder if she’s running a dating service.Plus, one Gally is desperately trying to keep her sister’s engagement a secret, while another is caught in the middle of a VERY serious boy drama. Who’s right? Who’s wrong? And this has turned into the biggest plot twist we’ve had in a while!!!Oh, and there’s the small matter of someone killing a DOG while getting down and dirty… FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've reached leave a message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need. Whether you've somehow ended up marrying your boss or you're developing a bit of a sticky fingers habit. Wait, what did you know? What is that? Sticky fingers.

Guys, if you're listening and you listened to last week, help us out. Sticky fingers. Oh, because you're stealing. Sticky fingers. Oh. God, wake and shake. They were dipping their pen in quite severely in the office. They didn't marry.

their boss. Sorry, Izzy isn't here today, so we're just picking apart her work, clearly. Sorry about that. She's going to listen to this and be like, you cows. You little cows. Anyway, this is a podcast for you. Thank you for being here today. Right. We've got much to discuss because we've been to Abitha, Miami, to Abitha. Do you feel normal today? Yeah, I actually felt normal on Monday. I felt tired. I felt tired on Monday, but I didn't feel... I didn't feel... I didn't feel like I wanted to die. On Sunday I felt so hungover and I oh no. On Monday, sorry, on Sunday I did because of, I didn't feel that hungover. Did you know what? I felt knackered. I think, but I slept. I did have about six hours sleep. I slept. No, because you woke up at 11. Yeah. That, do you know what though? Sometimes that's still five hours. Like, it's quite a good, I reckon, you know, there's new

moms that get less. Yeah, there's not too too bad. I could not have a who too bad. I could not have It would kill me. I was thinking about this because I've seen all these aura ring covers and they're so nice. O'Rah ring covers. So like obviously the o'er ring on its own is just fugly. So now all these jewelers are making these amazing things that go over. Is it not quite bulky? It is.

But it just looks like a chunk of, but like with the cover it just looks like a really nice chunky jeweled ring. And I, right. Right. Anyway, and I've been thinking, God, I really want that. But I can't. That would, I can't. I don't think you need a.

I don't think it's good for me. I really don't think it is. I don't think it's good for anyone. I genuinely don't. I think there's too many stats floating around. I think we should get a bit less static. Do you know why? Because I like, you know, when you've had a bad night's sleep. Of course you do. I don't need you to tell me that I'm going to die and I'm going to die. Like, you know, I'm going to shorten my lifespan by seven years because of one night's sleep. Do you know what I mean? I just think like, and also it won't change it. Like if I feel like I've had a bad night sleep, but I wake up and my aurora ring tells me otherwise, I'm surely, still going to feel like I've had a bad night's leave?

Yeah. Last night, it was so weird. I was like, you know, sleeping as one does in the evening time. So weird that's where I just sort of a nor switch. Guys, al's like honestly, on her gravestone it will say, picked out tonne hundred thousand wedgies in her lifetime because this girl, every day, also when we're in that hotel gym at the weekend, you got on that rowing machine and in front of a full gym, you shoved your whole hand down your gym shorts.

I'm just, I just pulled just a thong out. I think you need different knickers. I'm telling you, it's my munchy bum. I have a specific bun. But if it's munched, it's a thong, it's meant to be up there. What are you pulling out? No, babe, it's meant to be up there, but it's not to be inside my anal cavity. Anal cavity is not real.

You know when you can feel it actually touch the anus. I genuinely don't know. That's how I go have that sensation often. Often. Anyway, sorry, please continue. Last night you were sleeping. How strange? How strange?

I was sleeping. middle of the night, I don't know what time it was, bolt upright. Like as if, is that not strange? That feels strange. Like, bolt. Like, I hadn't had a weird dream. I don't think I'd heard a noise. It was just like a sudden, like, ghost.

I'm actually, I have this all the time because I'm quite a good, like, once I'm asleep. Yeah, I agree. You're not actually quite hard to work. You get up like six times a night to wee. Like, I would never we in the night, ever. I find that crazy. I find it crazy that you wake up to win. Last night I didn't have a wee.

and I woke up this morning, I thought something's wrong. Why is my bladder so far? And my bladder was like to the brim. Like I was like, don't get me wrong, I'll wake up and go for a wee, but never would I ever. If I wake up in the night and I'm awake for too long, my panic is that, oh no, I'm going to have to get out of my bed

and go for a wait. I think half the time though I'm wheeing asleep. Really? Well, like, I'm kind of like sleepwalk. You know, like I'm not conscious. Yes. In a hotel I am. Like in that fucking hotel we were just in,

God my God, it was like a maze to get to that loop. Really? But in my bedroom, yeah, because. because you've got to get out, you've got to go left, left, left. You've got to come out the fucking, oh my God. In my bedroom, it's literally straight. Like, I'm looking at the loo. Yeah.

Which side do you sleep on? Obviously the right. And I was saying this the other day. I don't know if I spoke about this last week. No, because you change beds sides with us because you always sleep on the side of the toilet. I know. But I would do that. If we moved house, you would change the side.

Yeah. Because I'm not going to walk round the bed. God forbid. Does we all we in the night? I guess you don't know. No, he doesn't. Sometimes. But then he was like,

Ross really talks in his sleep. Oh, fucking hell the other night. Chat, chat, chat in. He was so, I didn't. He said, he's so, it's actually spooky because sometimes he's like, got those fluttery eyes. Oh, no. That is so scary.

He said, I did. He was like, look. And then he said, he's like, turns, I were here. He's like, turns, lies on the pillow. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. I didn't do it. It wasn't me.

Shut up. Then there was this one time all never. forget. What's he done? That makes me think he's done something? I don't know. He's been accused of something in his dreams and he's panicked. Oh no! And then the other, I would never forget he, there was this one time he's this one I mean about bolting up right, I don't think it's that weird

that rule does that actually quite often. Sat up and then he's pointing at the left of the side of the bed and he's like, the cleaner, she's here, the cleaner. And then he started talking to me about a submarine. This kind of stuff. That happens really often. That genuinely is enough to make me. never get a boyfriend.

Like, what do you mean? Like, I am sleeping, so peacefully, I'm sleeping beauty, you cannot wake me. And what you're saying, I'm going to have a man in my bed that says bolt up right says I didn't do it. No way. That's too scary. But do you think, I don't know how many people, guys, let us know. Because I think they call that active sleeping. But how many people are actually sleeping active?

Well, this is the kind of thing that I need to be asking on date one then. Do you know what you do, though, babe? Oh, no, I'm bad. I know. Because we've shared a bed a lot this summer because we've been on a lot of trips. and um she like raw does this too eats i eat in my sleep i think what are you munching on this always hungry

always jumping at the bit like even in the hour that i'm normally awake after her you think she was having a three-course dinner i'm not joking chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew chew and when you you're also quite you toss and turn quite a lot and then when you do it it's like every time every time moods. Ah.

I am so breathy. Sleeping is fascinating, isn't it? Fascinating. I rarely get to see your sleep habits. I know. Because... I fart in my sleep. You fart in your sleep a lot, you do.

And also in the morning, like when you're... You do that. Like in the morning when you're trying to stay asleep, you're really like... Because you're like, you're really like, oh, I don't want to be awake yet. and you're like in that interim. Yeah.

And then Al does weird stuff with her phone. You and your phone like kind of like get to know each other during the night. Yeah. Because she like scrolls and then she puts it down. Then she wakes up and then it's open and then she's fast asleep. And then she kind of looks awake but she's asleep because you don't close your eyes fully. Oh yeah. That's true.

Which is freaky. When I close my eyes, you can see half my whites in my eyes. It's actually really weird. That's a defect on my face. And then she's like this because she never has a pillow. We're literally opposites in every way. I like 55 pillows. Babe, it is.

I have six pillows. Oh my God. I have six pillows in my double bed at home and I sleep alone. Could you possibly need that? Genuinely, I can tell you. Tell me. Okay, so I have two for my head, sometimes genuinely three, because sometimes you need a third to wedge down the back.

So what, basically you're sitting up. That sounds uncomfortable. Love. Then I have one between my legs, but on both sides so I can switch and swatch. So that each time I switch my leg over like this, there's a pillow beneath it, in between my legs, so we're at four. And then the other one I like to have against the wall. on the side so I don't fall down the

Oh yeah because you're always at risk of falling down that gap Because I'm so small The gap is this big A centimetre A centimetre I'm not with no pillows No pillows

corpse She's like this With her eyes open It's the freakiest thing In the whole world No pillows No pillows What do you need to

You should No one needs a pillow But despite all of this We actually do We actually do have quite good bed camp We really do Because like It doesn't bother me

Doesn't bother me Guys it was so funny And also she just, she normally kicks me, but then you've got a new technique. Well, because she was snoring, but your snoring was out of control. And normally I just sort of like kick her as if I've had a drink. But actually, at the moment, all I need to do, well, my new tactic is just put, put some tension on the duvet. That works. That works because then you turn over.

Great. Or any part of her, I can read. A little rub. That's it. I probably quite like it. That's it. And then she turns. It's one of my biggest fear about like a one night stand or like,

I'm fearful. That's why I don't sleep because I sleep so lightly next. And it's always such a like, really I should just like think, fuck it and just give it all to them. No, but it is, I'm sorry, you're sleeping is sacred. I know. It's my one thing for myself. I know. And I actually do, I try not to, you know, sleep shame because I don't love to be sleep shamed.

I feel like it's a horrible thing because it's like, oh, just FYI, I wasn't conscious. I didn't do it on purpose. Like you telling me that I'm like X, Y, Z and complaining about me, I think, well, like, horrible because I didn't, I wasn't not in control. I do think you should start mouthtaping though. Once I get rid of my braces, I will. I'm really scared that, because I move my mouth so much. I'm scared that I'm going to like rip my mouth with my braces off. Yeah.

Yeah, no, no, wait to the race. Tape my mouth shut. Yeah. Because I'm getting my top braces off in a few weeks. I can't believe it. I'm kind of sad about it because it's going to be anticlimatic because it's just the top. I don't think it's going to be anticlimatic when you're. smile and you see your whole front teeth.

Do you not think? No. I've been practicing smiling with my bottom lip up. One thing about this fucking girl, right? She... Do you like this? Is it sexy? She does these things.

I'm like, when she got the metal braces on the back of her teeth. Yeah, I was having... She was like, yeah. I am a drama queen. She was like... Do you know what it's so funny? Because my whole childhood, all the things that people would buy for me, said a drama queen on them.

Yeah. I still, on my bedroom door at her... me too have a caution drama queen a head sign and I will not take it off because I think that's accurate that's accurate um she got the she got the metal braces on her back teeth and she was like yeah but when I smile everyone's going to see them like and I was like she said when I start looking you can see them and everyone can see the metal and I'm like babe when are you ever going to do you she does that shit all the time well she'll try on jeans and she goes well they're just enormous and breathe out until like her stomach is so excited

and I'm like yeah because obviously you walk around like that all the fucking time you stupid witch what do you mean? Or like before a red carpet are we like no because when I stand like this and I was like sure but are you going to stand like that? When I when I pop my fucking back out

dislocate my shoulder and stand on my knees then you can see all and I'm like yeah okay well show me that on a Getty sorry anyway we must discuss she's recent date that has led to another day I've been on I've been on

I've been at work. Have you seen my hinge? Yeah, someone's asked me for a drink, but you matched with him and I'm not sure. What are you not talking about? Oh, that's not sure about. Let me tell you this story. So basically, you guys will know if you listen to the ebb where...

Is it this man? You've been replying. What do you mean you're not sure? You've literally been responding to him. Yeah, because I don't want to leave him on red. I'm not rude. He's got a cute dog. Classic.

This is classic. So I met with all of these matches just because they have dogs. I'm not even really a dog person. There? I said it. I'm not a cat person. You're not an anything person. I'm a baby person.

Like if I had to pick. That is the most pick me thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. Our babies love me. Because everyone does that. Pick me. I don't think it's sexy to like babies. I think boys find that sexy. They think, oh, mother.

I think is pick me to like, I love dogs. I do like dogs. I do like dogs. This is me. I like dogs. Like, I like dogs. But I'm not like, are your dog. You are like that.

Only with certain dogs, though. Like I would do that. How rude. I do. It's my love as conditional. Yeah, fine. I don't like ugly dogs. I don't like big, too big, scratchy, whiny,

sparky. Yeah, exactly. Anyway, no, to be fair, this is not the cuter dog I've ever seen. Fine. So you'll know if you listen to, I think it was not last week the week before. Do you think? Sorry, are you busy? I'm reading.

Your message is with this man. Do you think, Megan? You said gave you mouth to mouth or something. An hour and a half. Out of contact. No, but can I just say that is out of context? The first surf messages sent at 620 and then that gave you mouth to mouth or something. I know because it didn't send.

And then it's sent late. I know. That's mortifying. Get out of there. You're nosy. Get out. I think you can not go on a day with him. Really?

Why are you matching with him then? I just, do you know what? I was having a poo. I remember this. And I thought, I better waste some time here. Yeah, I'll let you off there. That's fine. So anyway, you'll know if you listen to the episode where I said that a galley, who is a ballie, because he's a boy, stopped us in the street and was like, I love your stuff. And then anyway, I ended up going on a date with him, he was 23, so I can obviously never see him again. But then I got this DM from this guy that sent me that video, that clip of us talking about it.

Which went so viral. Did it? Yeah. Yeah. He was like, hey, good for him, like the guy that slid into my DMs, I've been regretting not asking you out for a date since I met you in December. I was like, where the hell? Anyway, basically, long story short, we met this guy so briefly. I don't even remember him. Do you remember him coming in or not?

Al and I were getting our makeup done. But we were sat in there at different times. I actually might not have been in the, we went one after another. That's actually so true. I definitely would have, if someone came in, in a guy. I would have remembered. And he was really hung over.

I remember him saying he was really hung over because he'd been to like some event or something and then he was going to a wedding or something like that. Anyway, I do remember him, but I don't like really remember what he looked like because I was like forward getting my makeup done. Anyway, and he was like, I regret not asking you out for a date. So now I think I'm going to go for a drink with him.

Crazy. Isn't that crazy? I think that's really slow. I think it's slow. Do you know what? can me realize, though, this. I was thinking about this a lot. I spent a lot of time thinking at the moment about me. It just goes to show that actually, boys are pussies. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They are. But then I feel sorry for them because I feel like, no wonder. No wonder.

Everyone's single. Yeah, because everyone's too scared to make the first move and it's like, oh, I do feel sorry for them because I think there was this movement of like, no fair, Not wanting to be approached or not wanting to be like hit on. And so then I think maybe they got a bit scared or nervous. And because famously the harassment posters that I, you know, debunk. No, but it's different to be like harassed and then send a DM. It is.

But like, you can't see the difference between the two of those things. Okay, but can I just, you know, fly a flag? We only like, and this is really bad and I am guilty of this, we only like the DMs from people that we fancy. So like if you're like you don't know if the person you're sending the DM to you is going to receive it well. So like do you know what I mean? Like there is a level that like they won't get response and they might just be ignored or left on red or... I don't know because I think there's a difference between like a weird DM that's like, oh yeah, let me take you.

Like purvey. Yes. And then there's a thing to be like, this is such a long shot but I just like YOLO. Yeah. I think no matter if you fancied them or not, I think as you should. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Definitely. Yeah, I would like more shots to be slung my way.

But it just made me realise everyone's... The problem is as well, like, in a bar, people might do that. Yeah. Because that's like the old school... I don't know why there's, like, less embarrassment associated with doing that in a bar. Do you think? There is. I think there is, yeah. But it's way easier to do it in a DM.

I know, but people find that embarrassing. But why is that embarrassing? I think we need to take that away. Yeah, I guess because if you get rejected in the moment in a bar, it just stays in that moment in the bar. Whereas if you get rejected on Instagram, it's just in that DM forever. Well, listen, guys, you can delete your DMs. Delete block.

Yeah. Change your username. I really think, like, girls should do it more too. I'm talking about everyone. Like, I think that's even the same as paying for that hinge thing. I want me to pay for hinge premium. Hinge Pro, Hinge Premium. I'd actually like to get that gifted, frankly.

Gifted. And I'll be reaching out to them. I don't know if they gift. I've seen Hinge ads. Hinge ads, got it. Okay. Whatever. Pay us, gift us. It doesn't really make a difference.

We need, we need access to Hinge Premium. Yeah. But it's just like all that thing of like, there seems to be some embarrassment of like shooting your shot or like, I think it's as well because people don't want to seem desperate. But be desperate. I know. It's a fine line, I think. I know, no, I know it's a fine line, but I wish it was less of a fine line.

I wish that there was more like, no line. Yeah. I wish that people were just like, give a shit. Yeah. If she doesn't reply, she doesn't reply. Yeah. Like, just, I've got, no, you've got nothing to lose. You don't have anything to lose.

Yeah, true. But people don't move like that. I'm learning, clearly. Some of them do. And here I go. So where will you go on your date? Who knows? I'm not free.

This is another thing. Everyone's like, oh, when are you free for a day? Let me get you to DMs. I'll reply to them now. You could go for a date next Wednesday. I could go for a date next Wednesday. Can I? Monday?

Wednesday. You've got the canon filming in the day, and then you can go straight. I'll drop you off. Oh, good. You're going table scaping on Thursday. I am, yeah, locally. Friday, you've got free day. Oh, no, you're going to...

Friday night, I might be around, who knows? Great. Because this is another thing. No one likes a weeknight because nothing like sexy happens on a weeknight. I think that's good. I genuinely think that's good. For the Thursday. Yeah, interview.

First dates are interviews. Yeah, true. You could go for me. I've said this 100 fucking time. Send me. Send me. I will do a better job. I'll get all the information you need.

and then I'll come back and put him on a PowerPoint. Yeah, well, sometimes listen, as I said, less stats. Sometimes it's a feeling. Okay, well, let's just cross that. But we don't know what this means. Izzy's written G's reframe last reference.

So we'll just have to, you know, hold that thought and we'll be back next week to discuss my reframe. That I don't know what that is. Maybe it's part of being 30. We talk about being 30. No. This is so about my memories I could say

if I literally listened to that two days ago. Nah, that was a week ago. It was pre-high. There's pre and post-high. Do you know what I mean? That's all I'm going to say. One thing I want to say about high, that weird toilet is the place to be. It's amazing.

The only reason it's not amazing is did you know you can actually piss? Yes. People were fully pissing next to me. Yeah, babe, it's called a weird toilet. That's literally, it is the... It could be a weird toilet. No, but otherwise, then it wouldn't be cool. Then it just be fake.

Well, like, it's cool that people piss in there. It's cool that it's an actual toilet. Otherwise, it would be like a set. True. It's so cool that that's the actual loo. I liked the fact that everyone was smoking in the club. Yeah, me too. Bring back smoking in the fucking club, to be honest.

It's so bad, isn't it? Because we got rid of it for quite serious health reasons, but I just think cool. I think smoking in the pub, not allowed. Smoking in the club allowed. Fine. Smoking, I'm talking about only smoking in the club. Nowhere else. Yeah, fine.

Like, I would hate smoking on a train carriage. Do you know what I think is mental? Imagine people that used to get us on smoking. Smoking flights. I can't imagine that restaurants people used to smoke in the restaurant guys there was a guy on our flight a couple of weeks ago

that was vaping on the plane and like I am not a rat but I was tempted to say excuse me miss this this guy is part of the epidemic and he needs help because he's addicted to his weight no bait there's more than that guys he got refused alcohol he did yeah

they wouldn't serve him because he was so pissed it's a family friendly airline also it was eight in the morning yeah it was early doors and he was really, really pissed and he kept trying to talk to us and I was like this. What was he saying? Because I fell asleep, obviously. He was like, you're not going to have any fun with me then, girls.

Did he say that? Yeah, and I was like, no, no fun here. No, so I'm actually going to tell the Esther does that you're vaping. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know why you want to be my friend. I'm about to snitch on you. Wait, is that, we're here. He's vaping into his jumper.

Miss, miss, he's vaping. There must be a serious epidemic in schools of vaping into jumpers. Oh, yeah. We went through stage. Olivia Colt is... She's this. This is her. Friendous.

We on the school field used to have a little siggy on the school field and smoking to our jumpers. Wow, we wouldn't have even done that. We would have just gone straight out, puff up into the air. No, we would sit in a circle like this little... Then we'd get our Charlie. What is it, Charlie XX? What was that?

Charlie stuff. Did you have that? No. The Charlie spray, the body spray. It was like, honestly, it's Soldier Nero. but on crack. Right. Like it is so...

Spray your holes out. Spray everywhere, chewing gum in, and then you'd get in, and it'd be so funny because you'd get told off chewing gum and you'd think, ha ha, least you all worries, sister.

So good. Anyway, you can join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, galleys, welcome back. Right, this week we will call the galley Skepter. I was obsessed with skepta. Have you listened to that episode yet? I've been listening to.

When would I possibly have had the time? Right, and you want me to go on a date. Exactly. play this game. You can't listen to a Skepter app of parenting hell. I can't go on a date. Okay. Skepter,

famously the grime artist, who I've always loved, actually. If you go back into my listening history, I've loved at Skeptor many years now. So he's so fit. Isn't he? He's got Riz. He's got serious Riz.

He's just fucking cool. And he doesn't give a shit. Yeah, and he's like actually nice person. Yeah. Anyway. My close personal friend Skeptor. My close, nice, not friend, Skeptor. What's his real name?

name? Skepter. No, no. His real name. Joseph. Is it? Sexy name. Same as Stormsie.

His real name. Michael. Michael. Big Mike. Joseph's sexy. Because... Joseph Skepter. So that is no?

No. Joseph Skepter. Don't ask me to pronounce. It's funny. It's fine. He should be known to you as Joseph. Joseph. And Mary from the Bible.

He thought we know as Skeptor. It's now a house, DJ. A very good one. Oh my God. Yeah. Anyway. Because we thought we were going to go and be listening to That's Not Me. We were not.

He played buttons. He played milkshake. Yeah. It was amazing. Anyway, we'll call you Skepter. Maybe we'll call you Joseph, actually. Yeah, Joseph is good. Okay, let's hear our first voice note.

Hey, galies. Love the Pod. I need advice, please. So basically, my sister, let's call her Blair, was with this guy for two years. A year ago, they broke up for a few months. He moved back to Turkey and several months after they got back together and she moved to Turkey with him. Oh, largely. It caused a lot of problems with my family.

because she also left her studies to do this. They've been living together for nine months now, and my family don't really like him because he acts quite possessive of my sister. He called me the other day saying that he was going to propose to her, and that he wants to bring me over to Turkey because she would really want me there for this special moment. But the problem is that he doesn't want me to tell anyone,

i.e. my parents. And due to his already rocky relationship with them, which also caused issues between them and my sister, I feel very strongly that he should at least tell my parents that he is planning on proposing to Blair. He disagrees and now I'm unsure as to what the right thing it is to do because if I snitch on him I risk losing my relationship with my sister and if I don't say anything I risk upsetting my parents.

I hate that I've been put in the middle of this situation but I need to decide on an option because someone will get upset. Thank you so much. Lots of love from France. From France. Guys, you are international. I'm sorry, this is not the point, but babe, sorry, that is amazing. I was going to hire an illustrator at my wedding.

Do you want to do it instead? That's actually... I mean, I'm very like, Henry the 8th from Facebook will look past that. You like Pungent Judy. That's my style, though. What, unflattering angles? Yeah, puppets.

Sorry, that was by the by. It was only because during your voice note, we had a little technical difficulty and there was a pause. I was listening intently the whole time that you were actually speaking aloud. I hate this for you because you are in the middle

of a very tricky, like dynamic because if she, your sister, Blair, wants this more than anything, it is her life and I don't even know that telling your parents is going to like solve anything because what are they actually going to do

like stop the wedding. Stop the wedding. If I... That song is such an earworm to me. Stop the wedding. Do you know it? How dare you? It started me like that.

I would say as if I was singing, you know, the alphabet. So, it's not a bop. If this were me, I would tell my parents, obviously I would. And I would say, would you. Yeah, course I would. Okay. I would say. Your sister, for example.

Yeah. We love her partner. But what if we didn't? And your parents didn't. And he, yeah, called you to say. Yeah. I'm going to propose. Don't tell your parents.

And you've got to come. You would say, course and then you would tell them but you would tell your parents hey you don't know exactly okay that's exactly what I would do I actually think I was fine and I would say you need to know this so that we're all on one team

yeah because I can't go because I'm carrying to you on my own yeah I'm I have to go I have no choice yes because it's for her yeah yeah you cannot know and when she calls you to tell you that you're engaged get your acting skills brushed up I want baffterworthy performances if you need to go to stage coach off you fucking go off you go.

Take some private lessons. Yeah. Yeah. And I don't think there's anything that anyone can do in the situation. It's really sad that this has happened like this because like it's, you know, obviously everyone wants to love their sister, their family's partners. Like it's really hard. But geez right.

It's her life. You can't also, guys, you know, this is the same with friends, with siblings, with anyone, really. You can tell them the reasons that you don't like them. You can tell them the reasons why you don't think they're good for them. they can hit all of that and still choose to ignore you. And it's like, there's nothing you can do. The more that you push, the more that you encourage her not to be with him, the more she will lean into being with him.

And tell you less, we always say that. Like, especially if he has some, like, controlling tendencies, you don't want it to get to the point where she doesn't tell you certain things because she knows it's bad. Like, I always think that about stuff like that. I'm like, okay, she's telling you that. So imagine what she's not telling you. Like you need to be abreast as abreast as you can be

because even if this got to worst case scenario where she was in a really like dangerous position you still can't be the person to save her. Like she has to do that for herself so all you can ever be is a sounding board is feedback is like, oh, I don't love that. Do you know what I mean? Like that's all you can ever do

but if you villainise him while she still loves him and wants to marry him then all you're doing is creating a rift between the two of you and then putting her on an island. You know what I mean? And you don't want that. The only thing that I would say, how long have they been together? Did she say?

Nine months. They've been in Turkey, I would, that is the one thing that I could be like, bit fast. Yeah. And be like, get engaged, fine, wear that big fat, shiny rock if you want to. Yeah. No rush to get married. And then I think when your parents know, when she then says, we're engaged, I think that's your parents' place to be like.

It's a bit fast. It's fast. And like, do you know, know how serious marriage is. Yes. Not only to get in of, but also to get out of. Yeah. And I think then that will open up the conversation not about him.

Yeah. About marriage. And that's an easier ground to tread on. Yeah. And then let's see how you get on. Because I really, I think that is definitely something that everyone should flag. Also, if you should say that to her, hopefully when he proposes, she will also think, fucking hell, this is a bit quick.

If she doesn't, good. Then you know, we've got some serious blickers on here. You could also say to him, I don't know what a relationship is with him, but you could also say, like, I know that it would mean a lot to my parents for you to ask for their blessing. Yeah, good, that's good. And I understand that you want it to be a surprise, but I think they will be quite hurt. Good, that's good. If they knew I knew.

Good. And you didn't tell them. Just putting that in your court. You know? That's good, definitely. Because if that does, because that might mean a lot to your sister anyway, so then he should know that. Oh, it's so tricky these family dynamics because, you know, you can't pick your family and then you can't pick your extended family. You get almost no choice in the matter.

I know. It's hard. It's hard. It's hard. It's so hard. But I think that, you know, there are steps that you can take. Yeah. That you know that you did all you can.

Yeah. That's really all you can do, to be honest. All you can do. She's a grown woman. I think as well, a lot of it is about like holding up a mirror. because like you know we say this about people okay take

we say this about friends in relationships that you don't like often you can't say I think he's controlling and I think he's piece of shit whatever you want to say

because it doesn't work but you can say she stops going to her favourite dance lesson on a Thursday oh my God you used to love that dance lesson you were so good at that

why did you stop going yeah you're asking a question That's all you're doing. That's disguised as you want her to then say, oh, but he doesn't love it when I go, that's such a shame. What doesn't he love about you doing something you enjoy? Yeah, easier.

Rather than, that's gross. I think he's a piece of shit because he doesn't let you go and start. And he's so controlling and I hate him. So you've got a soft launch this shit, but you can do it on, like, often. Yes. Because also I do often think people in those situations, they do know that she, unless she's like really blind, they do usually. know and but sometimes when you're stuck in that loop you can kind of like kid yourself into

thinking it's normal and well and you justify behavior because it makes your everyday easier and then when someone holds up the mirror you're like wait actually that's not okay yeah or like oh actually it's it's the moment that you feel embarrassed to say it aloud or you know that you're keeping things from your friends because you're like I know this one's not going to go down well you're lying because you know the truth is worse yeah yeah good luck babe anyway send her this up and then And then she can, you know, have some self-reflection time. I think there might be some hope here. Nine months isn't long.

Yeah. If it was longer, I'd be like, do you know, like, when they're in that habit and pattern and, like, learned behaviour is so entrenched. And leaving them is, like, impossible because you're like, well, you're my whole life. Yeah. Yeah. Good luck, babe. Love you.

Okay, now we have got an email. Hi, galleys. This feels like an, am I the asshole? Because I'm still not sure my friendship breakup fit the crime. or if there even was a crime. My God. Let's call the guy Jack and my best friend Sophie. I'd had a thing for Jack for years.

We were in the same friendship circle and whenever I was home from uni throughout our 20s, we'd occasionally hook up. Then around 26, Sophie developed a crush on Jack. They kissed and slept together a handful of times. I don't love that. When she told me, I was actually at my boyfriend's house and I didn't say anything,

but it really put me in my feels and made me question my own relationship. relationship. Things between Sophie and Jack ended messily. She told him she liked him, but he didn't want anything serious, and they were both seeing other people. Fast forward to the end of that summer, I'm single, we're all on a night out and another guy starts being really weird and abusive towards me. I end up clinging to Jack for comfort. Go home with him and we sleep together. Oh dear, dear, dear. Oh, this is messy. So we've, Jack's going, Jack's ping ponging here. Sorry, question. Was Sophie on that night out also? Not sure.

Okay. Oh no, because listen, I tell Sophie the next day, so she must not have been there. She's absolutely devastated and I completely understand that I'd hurt her, but her reaction doesn't go away. Suddenly, our entire friendship group of 10 plus people stop speaking to me. Awful. Eventually, Sophie and I meet and she says, why are you so unhappy? You had a very nice life. I would say, Sophie, what's my nice life got to do with this situation where I have?

right now. And may I remind you that you are on no high horse, let me just take you down a peg or two because you also slept with someone that I was sleeping with first, by the way. They never slept together, did they? Yes, they hooked up. Hook up to me is not sleeping. Hook up is snogging. No, hookup is snogging to me. You think they only have snogged. Otherwise, I think she would have been occasionally slept together. I don't think hookup, in my opinion is. Okay. Sadie, what do you think? I think hookup is shag. I do too. Really. Yeah. Okay. Okay, let's take it as shagging. Or let's say side base.

Did bits. They do bits. Because snogging is different. If you, okay, sorry, continue. Please continue. I've interrupted your story. Needless to say, friendship was over. A year or so later, I'm out for dinner with a mixed friendship group, including one of Sophie's good friends. My mutual friend asks what happened and apparently Sophie had been telling people I'd slept with her boyfriend.

Oh dear. A boyfriend. They're not boyfriend girlfriend girlfriend anymore. Exactly. Jack was never her boyfriend. They were never a boyfriend girlfriend. She just wanted him to be. they'd slept together a handful of times

but they were never official so galleys was I the asshole did the punishment fit the crime was Sophie making the situation sound more serious than it was or was this actually about everything else going on in her life update

somehow this whole situation brought me and Jack closer a few years later we got together and we've now been together almost six years own a house and are having a baby

well to be honest fucking plot twist thank God because we're We always say if you're going to blow up your friendship, make sure it's worth it. Amen, I need a ring and a baby. Well done, babe. That's brilliant. Shit the bed. That is fucked. Right. Jack's a little fucker. Isn't he the cat that got the cream? Can I be honest? I think in the beginning you were both wrong.

So everyone was wrong. Everyone was moving mad. No one was following girls code. Yeah. I'm thinking that, oh, sorry. Oh, you're not. Guys, we haven't even told you. We've, um, so I've done it goes out with narcolepsy. No, we'll talk about this next week. There's a lot to talk about on this. I've honestly got... I can talk about... She will not stop falling asleep

in the randomest places. I think you need to book him with your GP. I'm genuinely not doing. What are they going to do? Help you. Give you some quite serious help. The help that you need. I don't want the help.

I love to fall asleep. I don't want... I don't want intervention. Everyone wants... Is not ideal. I'm all for a cabbie. journey. I can resist it. Mid pod, your eyes doing this is worrying

to me. I'm worried that this is happening. Mid very juicy email. I think in the foot, in the, okay, everyone was wrong. Because everyone was like, she's in over boys, being really messy. Like, there's millions of boys in the world. So actually you both could have just been like, he's not mine. Just by the way, I want to say I have been both you and Sophie.

I've been in the situation. I've been in this situation before. I've been in both seats. Have you? Yeah. I haven't. I've definitely been in both seats. Okay, I was, yeah. Go on.

Well, I probably have to, yeah. Yeah. So I can relate with the feeling of you and her. And both are bad. Yeah. I just like, I don't think anyone's in the right there. Well, and also the thing is with Joseph, Joseph feels like, because she was first, she feels like her sleeping.

But it's like actually Sophie and him, whatever they had, they did then have it. I agree. So like, even though she wronged you. you then did wrong her. I agree. Because the history builds and like whether he was yours first or not, it doesn't matter because now they have had a situation ship and you did know that she really liked him.

I agree. This is hilarious because he's now your baby daddy, the fact that we're talking about it like that because who gives a shit now, do you know what I mean? But yeah, in the beginning, was the fallout worth it? I mean, listen, it rarely is. The thing is in hindsight rarely is.

Because she's probably over it now. Like water doth travel under the bridge. Right. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And I look back and basically the one situation that I'm thinking of and I hope she won't mind me talking about this, one of my old, my best friend at school, let's call her pin.

Oh, sweet pin, yeah. I had this thing, we never slept together. But we did have, we did do bits. You liked him? Yeah. And we were text and we were like, you know, whatever that is at that age. I don't know what you call that. That, it was that.

You had a crush and like... We were doing bits. Yeah, okay. You had a situation. We weren't together. We had a situation ship. Fine. And then long story short,

Pyn, then I discovered, was also texting him. And then Pinn actually bought him to our Lea's Ball. Fucking hell. Say it with your chest, PIN, if you're going to do it. And I actually bought someone to our Levers Board who then came out as gay. No, everyone's at him. Messing, so to be honest,

it was just a disaster. And did you fight over it? Yeah, cool. We didn't, babe, we, again, this is how bad it was, guys. We were in the same boarding house. We were in the same mass class.

We, in the same boarding house, there were only, there were only 10 of us. We eat together, we sleep together. We have breakfast. Like, we do every. And you didn't sleep. We would have to,

for three months, and I remember I held back garage and I was so fucking serious about. I would not look at her, I would not talk to her. We used to do that. And by this time, did you even care about him?

Not really. It's just a principal thing. I remember there was this one day that I could not for the fucking life of me remember what the mass homework was. So I wrote on a post-it note what is the mass homework and I gave it to our friend Cara

and she had to go and give it to him in and then Min wrote Pin. And then she had to write it's question seven to 11 page 382 or whatever and then we would communicate like this over a fucking boy and I look back and I'm like, hilarious, that is so funny

and it would have been worth it if she then had married him and had his baby. Yeah, and then it would have been funny. I do think it's funny. I do still think it's funny. I think like, objectively. But I don't think it's that petty in the moment because I do think like, it's betrayal.

It is. Like, it actually genuinely is. Like, in this instance, you did both betray each other. Like, you did. Like, it's betrayal because especially at that time when you haven't, you know, seen the, like, wonders of the world. And, like, you think, like, this guy, Jack is everything. Like, it's like, I have guys now that I've even had, like, the crushes on.

And if one of my friends got with them, I'd be like, you didn't. what? Yeah. I'd be female. Even now, and I'm like a 30 year old woman. Do you know what I mean? Because I just think like, principally, obviously then in the long run, I would like be like, okay, you guys have a vibe and you've got a baby. So as you should, you made the right move. It doesn't mean that I wasn't collateral in that move. She was wrong first. Yeah. Then you were wrong. Then you were wrong. That's why I say you were both wrong at different points. But if she wants to hold the grudge, then that's on her. I agree. You know, grudges make you ugly. I really believe that. Oh my God. You know, that's like scientific. Yeah. That toxic,

shit in your body, that can make you sick. I'm not even joking. Agree. And you, but she has to be the one to process that and churn it out and let go of it. And clearly it's taking her time. And maybe she still can't look at you and she feels like you won and she lost and she doesn't like that. And so now you're not friends. And actually, that's okay. In this instance, it's okay that she punished you and it's okay that you're not friends because actually maybe it makes your relationship with Jack better and easier and it was just a funny thing that happened once. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And you have to let that And I think if you can get to that, I mean, it's kind of not that funny thing that happened once, I guess, because it's, you know, your baby daddy.

But I don't know, I think, I don't know how old you are. Old now, I think. You must be quite old, yeah. Ancient, perhaps. I don't know, I think there must be a way where you can be like, really, are we going to still talk about this? How many, 10 years later. But maybe like, I don't know, this is sometimes the thing with grudges, though. Sometimes you're not holding the grudge, but what happened happened and you don't need to have a relationship with that person.

I have quite a few of them where. where some of the stuff that happened I can't even remember if it was like... No, I actually do have that quite a lot. Or I have like girls that I had... It's more than my bridge but I don't need anything to do with you.

Exactly. Like I'm not actually like holding onto it but I know exactly what you did and we're now not friends and that's okay. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I do. And that is okay. As long as but that only is okay

if you genuinely are at peace with it in yourself. Yeah, you can't actually be like hating on them. Sticking pins and their voodood dolls. Yeah. Because that's bad for you. Yeah. But you can be like, oh yeah, but when that thing happened, I thought about you differently. And so now we're not as close or now we're not friends.

I think that's fine. Do you know what? My mom always used to talk about this, how like forgiveness is actually the most difficult thing to like achieve in the world. Because like you can say, oh yeah, I forgive them. But do you actually in your heart and soul truly feel at peace? Yeah. That's a really difficult thing.

Like I've struggled with that all my life. Yeah. When you get there, it is the most liberating thing. Yeah. I think, God, I really have nothing to prove. I've got nothing to prove. I'm not holding on to anything. I'm just doing me.

Yeah. I know I was wrong. Yeah. Once or, I know people have wronged me. Yes. And the solution doesn't have to be that you're BFF skipping down the road. Yeah.

Is what I think. Yeah. Because I think sometimes people think that is the only way that then, like, everyone's forgiven. I think indifference. I often say indifference is the goal. Yeah. Good luck. I mean, not good luck.

Well, not good luck. Happy baby. Happy baby. So glad you're having a baby. Thrill. Okay, it's time for the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip. The galley gossip is where we collate, mine, distribute, good old-fashioned goss.

Because goss went out of fashion for a while. You can't say this for four weeks now. I don't like this. We're bringing it back. Yeah. Four weeks. We're bringing a lot of things back. Have I actually said before you?

Yeah, you said that every day for four weeks. Remind the tapes. Maybe I said it once. No, I think it's at least twice. This is the will be the third. Recease. Rasties. It is. It's true.

Okay, we've got a voice name from Magali who's about to spill some seriously juicy school gossical. We really have some school gossip. Hi, Gallis. I have a story that's almost become folklore and our friendship. It is that baffling. This is about a friend of a friend of a friend, et cetera.

So no defamation of character is happening here. Basically, there was a couple, let's call them Carol and Jim. They were getting adventurous in the bedroom, and decided to try anal sex. During the event, Karen explosively shits everywhere. I'm talking up the walls on the ceiling. Explosively. Carol and Jim do not have time to clean up the mess

before Jim's parents get home. They're so embarrassed to admit that this was Carol's shit and was caused due to anal sex, so they blame it on the dog instead. However, this then in fact led to the dogs we put down due to the copious amounts everywhere as that is not a normal amount for a dog. Anyway, lots enough guys.

That can't be true. I'm not a dog person but I was struggling to sleep at night if I had killed my dog via anal sex. That is awful. No! To be fair, if I had a dog that shit that much, I'd put it down. I would. So what? They took the dog to the vets and they said, no, for real, you should see the shit. Did the vet not think? Let me do an examination. Did Carol not think before I am anally penetrated? I might sit on the loo and see if I've got any, you know, residual shit. No, I do think anal is, it should be off-bound.

I think anal should actually be reserved for the shower, I will, I will, like, die on the hill. I think it should be reserved for, like, a locked box, because I don't know anyone that needs to be shitting up the walls. You'd be like, Jeffrey Dahmer with, like, white plastic sheets everywhere. It's awful. And, do you know, people... It's not awful, it's a bodily function. It's just shit, it's fine. Okay, okay, okay, it's awful if that then leads to the death of an innocent animal.

I'd have said, oh, neurovirus, I wouldn't have blamed the fucking dog. The dog shut up the walls. Also, what's wrong with your parents? I'd have walked in there and I'd been like, this is a sex act, gone wrong. I can see that. I agree. My shitty little daughter came to me and said, oh, by the way. The dog shut up the walls.

I'd have been like, let me see. Then I'd have gone in there and I'd have been like, let me see your ass. What kind of idiotic, gullible parents are these? This is a thing. These are parents that weren't having anal sex at 21 and they need to look alive and go and have some anal. And this is why. They also need to change their vet, to be honest, because that vet should get done for manslaughter or some shit. There's been like three rounds of thickness here and it's not right.

Why is everyone so thick? Sorry, that I'm more I think about it. That is just, you're telling me, like, that's literally like me going to the doctor and being like, my arm is broken and then tropping my arm off. Like, that is genuinely. No, tropping the dog's arm off.

My arm is broken. What is the dog's fault? That's why my dog did the far. That is like to its next extreme. That's wild. That's brilliant story. That is great folklore. I had some serious folklore at school.

Oh my God. I could write a book about the folklore that I had of my school. We had a lot about what people put up their fannies. Did you have that? Yeah, famously, obviously, I went to an all-girls school. Oh, everyone's got, like, tooth brushes out of their fannies, moist, boring thing I've ever heard of my life.

Hars was like, shawdiodrin. Bottles. What, you've got stinky vaj? No, like, I don't think they spray it. They just, like, put the whole thing up there. This one girl I remember did that. Did you see it? I never saw it.

Yeah, folklore. Folklore. Yeah. Oh, mine was a lot about, like, teachers, shagging teachers. Good. There was a lot about, because obviously I went to an all-girls school, about corridor creeping. Oh, yeah. Cowboy hats on the door.

Nice. So that you knew that they were shagging. Got it. Webbed feet had a lot of. Oh, yeah, six toes. There was a girl. Accusations. Always.

Always someone that had six toes. Third nipple. Always. Oh, there was a lot about people's parents getting found out being gay, shagging. I didn't have a lot of parents. Oh, we had a lot of parent-in-law. The problem is, I, you know, I'm going to expose myself here. I went to a school where, you know, there was some very privileged people.

Sure. Whose divorces, for example, were in the papers. Got it. And my God. The goss. Mortifying to be the child of that. No, no, mortifying. That's not right.

Mortifying when everyone knows your parents studied. To be subjected to that is not right. Yeah. There was definitely one. that actually not from someone from my school from a different school but that his mum walked in on his dad having sex with a man

that was actually quite common and it was in the paper they should be voice noting us we'd have that in this podcast then we'd be cleaning up let me tell you I love school did you have one that was like she pooed in the pool pooed in the pool

what pool there was a lot of like oh we can't swim today because ex person pooed in the pool we didn't have that I don't think we had that at Borton Lesotham. No.

No, we had a lot of like drama at our school. Like obviously, like not... No, I'm talking about law. Folk law. Yeah, unverified myths. Holes will know more than me. My memory is like a sieve. I've trauma blocked most of my years at school, to be honest.

I don't remember a lot of it. Oh my God, I'm just remember this one. Same on the dog vibe. That, um, this brat in my year, I won't know her. She was a brat. She was an absolute brat. The school tried to kick her out. Sorry, I'm really exposing myself here.

She was so badly behaved. She, babe, in junior house, which is the first year of boarding, 11, she bit a teacher. That is like famous law in my school. She was a bit teacher. Anyway, then she got, she was in the house next to me. And in sixth form, like our doors were interconnected. So we could actually hang out with the next, like next door house. Anyway, she did, she was so badly behaved in GCSE year that they tried to explain.

spell her, but her parents were rich, so they just, I don't know, donated library or something. Anyway, she then got given. She was the only girl in my whole school that wasn't in a house. She just had a navy blue tie because no one had, no housemistress wanted for someone. That is awful. That's like a dunce cat. Yeah, because she didn't want to leave, but she no one was, where does she sleep? In the garden? A tent. Well, then she ended up sleeping in this house next to me and I was like, I thought the whole fucking point was just she wasn't in a house, but she had a dorm in this her. Anyway. Well, she had to sleep somewhere, babe. Where did she want her in the broom cupboard? Maybe she could open a day girl.

True. Anyway. Maybe they lived far away. She lived in London. They live in a very, very expensive house in Zone 1. Right. Anyway, then the law was that her mum was so angry also. I really always had empathy for her because her mom is Malaysian. So you felt affinity. Sure.

And she actually was never mean to me because I could be mean. And anyway, the law was that her mom was so angry with her that she gave the dog away. The dog was like her prized possession. And she gave the dog away. And she came, I remember, never forget. She said, my mom's given Crystal away. And we thought, what do you mean? She said, my mom has given my dog away.

I think that's quite good parenting, hasn't it? I actually do agree. There will be consequences to your actions. But the dog shouldn't have to suffer. It's from its life of luxury. The dog also sure didn't have to die. Because you had anal. I will stand by that.

I don't know whether that means the dog was burnt. Or put down or given to another. Hopefully rehomed. I hope. that poor dog. That poor dog. If you want to get involved in next week's galley gossip,

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in the episode description. You can also send us an email at hello at leaveamessagepod.com. Bye!