Leave A Message with Ally & G - Red Lights, Frontal Lobes And PEGGING For The Plot?!

Episode Date: January 21, 2026

It’s official, Leave a Message with Ally & G is BACK! G’s dating life is still as chaotic as ever as she spills the goss on a TRAGIC Hinge date, whereas Ally is still a lady waiting to get a ring on that ting. Plus, you Gallies really returned with a bang with your stories and dilemmas. One Gally was losing her mind over the classic Happy New Year text and another needed pegging advice?! All in a day's work for Ally & G! Send us a voice note or drop into our DM’s on Instagram or TikTok.Email us [e-mail] Follow the podcast and turn on notifications to get new episodes every Wednesday. Gallies, don’t forget to leave us a review!Watch the episode on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We're back. Guys, welcome back to leave a message. Wow, I'm thrilled. With Ali and G. I'm Ali. I'm G. If you don't know, get to know. This is the pod where the galleys, i.e. you, send us your dilemmas, your questions, your stories. And basically, this is a group chat and we always endeavour to, I don't like to use the word advice,

but to share our thoughts with the group. There is nothing too crazy. that you could say here. No. We're talking dating, drama, all of the messy bits of life. We don't shy away from, you know, all of it.

No, no, we actually lean in. It's warts and all. Well, also, chances are we've been there, done that. 100%. Also, if you're not new here, by the way, you'll notice that we've had a bit of a glow up. Oh, no, not a bit. No, major, major glow-up.

We're in a studio. We've got mics on stands. We've got iPads! Oh my God, mics on stands. Oh my God. I fantasized about that for months. That's in your limerence of mics on stands. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've got a new home, we've got a new set. Yes. And we've got a new producer. Don't be shy. I'm shy, guys, I'm sorry. I'm embarrassed. Why don't you introduce yourself? Okay.

Oh, God, okay. My name is easy. Yeah, I like to. Date, yeah. Yeah. You'll be both queen. I'm producer Izzy. Rahana will get into where she's gone in a sec.

But yeah, I'm the new producer of Leave a Message. I'm very excited. I feel like I match your vibe, which is really fun. Like I'm desperately single also, so I feel like I can definitely relate to your stories, do you? Really? Absolutely. How is it out there for you?

It's not great. It's hard, isn't it? Yeah, I like to fall in love with people who don't live anywhere in me, which is... Oh, better. Yeah. You'll never at risk of running into them. No.

No, I think that's difficult out of catchman. I don't know. I like to keep them close. I like to find them, yeah. I can't like go to Galmore. I'm like, where are you? But yeah. Long distance, not for us.

No, but I don't know for me. I'm just drawn to it. I don't know why. Really? So you like them to be like, you know, you have to travel to get there. You like the, you know, the barrier between maybe. I think so, yeah. I don't really know why I'm drawn to these people, but I just sexy to me.

Listen, you don't. You don't choose who you're attracted to? Absolutely. Listen, some people like height. Some people like distance. I don't know what to tell you. So yeah, basically, obviously, as you all know, we love Rahana and we will miss her with all of our hearts. But Rahana has given us her blessing and she actually voice-noted us.

So maybe we can listen to that. Hi guys, producer Rahana here. And for the first time ever, I'm going to have to send my own voice note in because I'm announcing my departure from leaving message. But never fear, you're in the greatest hands with producer Izzy. And I just wanted to let you guys know. let Izzy know that she's in the safest hand with Ali and G. There's never a door moment. It's always a big discussion and that she should never feel shy or shy away from giving her opinion because I know you guys like that. And when selecting voice notes, just to continue

the trend that we've set at Leave a Message of striking a balance between juicy, wild stories that keep us all entertain. But also, dilemmas that can leave everybody with a new perspective or support that maybe they didn't even know that they needed. Bye guys. I can't believe it to farewell, but yeah, be kind to producer Izzy and I can't wait to listen along with the rest of you. Well done, Rahana.

I don't know whether she means us be kind or the galleys be kind, but let's everyone be kind. Everyone be kind. Yeah, I'm kind scared, guys. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. Don't be scared. The only time we were ever hard on Rahana. was when she was being a silly witch

and like going back to boys that were just, I can't talk, so that should come out of Ali's mouth actually. Just realised that I was being a massive hypocrite. Well, yeah, what's new in your life? God's so much. I feel like I've got to tell you about, well, tell the galleys, you already know, but about this hinge situation. I agree.

It's keeping me up at night. I've not slept. I've not. Also, we would really, we have a lot of people in our life that are entitled to their private life, which is shocking really considering the life that we live. I know. But we were making an effort to conceal his private life.

Alas, now he's, you know, such a fuck boy. I'm over a. I've decided to out him. Yes. I mean, I'm not going to give you, like, name and address, even though I could. I might. Feels quite powerful to, like, no name and address. I just think I could drop that any second.

I won't. But, yeah, so before Christmas, I was obviously telling everyone about this date. I was going to go on with six seven. Six, seven, who has braces? That's really important because we thought he was her soulmate, because he also had braces. Which actually on the date was like crazy good. What, he had braces? I don't know, I just felt so seen.

I felt so not embarrassed. Because I was like, well, you've also got metal in your mouth, crazy. Also, he had the worst one. Yeah, on the bottom. He went full silver train track, yeah. So anyway, we'd go on this date. Long story short, it was great. It was.

No one believes me that it was good because everyone's like, wait, you're saying things. It's like, things keep coming out of my mouth. And everyone's like, that sounds bad. But I'm like, no, I was having a lovely time. Okay, let me tell you what she said. Top line. He was ugly. No.

He is. He is objectively ugly. Sorry. You can't say that. Why? What if he listens? That's really mean that I said that. I didn't say that.

I said he's an acquired taste and not my normal time. I said he's ugly. Okay. Objectively bad. But G. G. But G. G.

doesn't mind ugly boys. I think... It's the truth. I love Marmai and I like something interesting to look at. Like carbon copy doesn't turn me on. Do with that what you will. You know? Apart from when she watches industry. Oh yeah. The posh boys in industry I can get behind. The rich posh boys, yeah. Yeah, from like Ken and turned like a three piece. Yeah. Um, anyway. No, but that was one of the things. Okay. If you want me to be a bit more PC, he's not generically good looking. Fine. Neither am I. Shut up

Just shut up To the wrong people Like everyone's good looking to someone Look at you and say you're ugly I might I would know many Course Because everyone's good looking to someone

That's all I'm saying Ugly doesn't really exist Okay What's that sugar babe song Push the butter No Ugly Obviously

Yeah so there was that Six seventh tutel Agree totally agree So everyone knows If you're dating someone that's 6-7, it's going to, you know, hinder your life somehow because that's really big. It's like a tax bracket. Like, there comes a point where you're just earning money just to pay tax.

Or that it doesn't actually help, yet it's not beneficial. So, like, just let's all stay around the 6-2 mark. Like 6-7 is not necessary. I could go to 6-5. I could. Babe. I'm a tall girl and I wore like a little... Heal.

Boot. I didn't wear a heel. I'm not going on a date in a heel. Do you know there's girls that go on dates in dresses and heels? Yes, babe. I see them out. I think you and me are not, we are not from the same human race. I had a low crotch gene on.

Yeah? That's quite sexy though. I thought so. Yeah. Me standing at the back of that bar while he was doing his gig. You were wearing a little healed boot? No, it was like a chunky boot. It was a stiletto.

It was a doc master. I'm tall. I had to kiss him like this. Imagine. No, no, it's not good for your net. Also, that's how you get repetitive strain injury. Yeah. from being with someone like that.

But you know there's girls that are really short dating like six-fives and I think back off sister. I know. That's not right. There should be a limit to what you can... I think there's a kink genuinely to harm yourself

in the act of kissing someone. There must be, because that is not normal. I know. It's not right. So there was that. He's obviously a like kind of like part-time musician

which for many people is red flag for me green green green, go-past-go, love. Like sexy. I basically went to watch the end of his gig but obviously I was alone so I had to like walk into this bar just stand at the bar

and watch him like a kind of curve Can I just give you some context she's never met this man and the first thing like they haven't said hello she just walks in stands at the bar and watches him I do think that's weird

like if a boy did that to a garden he was performing we would be like that's really pervy no no if you have a spotlight on you if you have a spotlight on you want to be watched I'm just saying if there's a light like this watch me

if I'm in the dark mind your business if we were on staging a live show and your date rocked up stood at the back and you've never met the boy before, I would be like, that is fucking weird. I'd be like, hot, you love me. I'd be like, I love this attention. I walked in and he was singing,

I want to fuck you. And I thought, this is out of a dream. I'm literally in a porno and I love it. But I watched the end of his gig. There was an issue because they only served. There wasn't an issue because he was shit. No, I'm joking. No, no, he actually wasn't.

He was so good. Like, he was singing all the bangers. And I was just like, and there were girls at the front loving him, which I also loved. I don't know. It was good. But they served my wine in a plastic glass.

So that was the first bummer of my. Yeah, I agree. Then what else went wrong? I guess I got a bit tiddled, which you're not really meant to do on a first date, just to keep your wits about you. Yeah. I had four to five margaritas,

plus the plastic white wine. Then I just decided at some point in the night, this is brilliant. I'm obviously going to go home with him. Bearing in mind there were maybe some things that like didn't tickle my boxes. Right. It's fair to say.

Let's just say that. But we are both Libra's enough for me. Oh, I don't think that's a good match. Yeah, yeah. Libra Libra is either really bad or really good. It's really looking like really bad. Well, fans are a part of the dynamic you're talking about. The problem was on the way back to his house,

we had to stop off and pick up his guitar, which kind of felt good. Like a joy kill. But a bit of a joy kill because then we had to have another drinks. It was his friend that kept the guitar. So by this point, I'm thinking I'm doing. I'm 2 a.m. drunk. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyway, walking to his flat, I don't want to be rude.

Listen, what we're going to say is that it just wasn't like up to the normal living standard that we're accustomed to. Like, I'm talking, let's like circle back to when you're 19, you can't afford rent and there's mould on the wall. Do you know what I mean? Like, that was the kind of situation. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Like, it's not ideal. It was, and I went into the bathroom and I, like, thought, oh, great, like, he lives with girls.

I'll find a miscellar at least. Absolutely nothing. I found like a cotton fresh toilet spray. That was all I could find. I was literally like this. Hit some bits with the cotton fresh. I was like, perfect. Yeah, that'll be good for you.

Went into his room. Guess what colour the light was? It was red. Are you walked in? I had about 20 seconds to scan with a full bright light and then boom, it was red light. Did he change it to red? Yes, he got a clicker out.

Oh, fuck me. That is really bad. Sorry, I thought it was like an automatic thing. He changed the light. No, imagine he's like this. No, no. Yeah, at that point I thought, you know what, girls, I'm going to lean in

because I think, why lean out when you can lean in? This is the difference between G and I. I just think in what fucking world would you look at that situation and think, yeah, bit of me, I'll lean into this. Like, also, context of our life. Like, I don't understand. It's like you're possessed in the moment.

It is. It's like you're taken over. by an alternate personality and it's like, if I could watch you that moment, I'd be like, sis! I know. Hello! No, you should have seen me.

I was doing flips and tricks. I bet. I bet. I just thought, this is it. This is it. Let's have a good, let's have a big one. Let's send it. That's how I felt.

You know, that feeling you get when you're out and you think, do you know what, I'm going to send it? I'm not going home tonight. It was that, but in a more intimate setting. Yeah, sure. Our boyfriend, if you don't know him, he's, we call him Pauri. He, when I told him this, he was like, I'm sorry, you're going to have to start taking this seriously now.

You know, you're nearly famous now. So you're going to have to start taking this. And I was like, he's right. He's absolutely right. All of them, the three witches of Eastwick, like you need to concentrate and you need to think about what you're doing with your time. Because the day after, I FaceTime, I was away

and I FaceTime, Holly and Raw, and Holly picked up the phone. She was like, thank God you're here. Thank God you're here. Tell her. Tell her. She can't be with him. Tell her. I obviously was like, I love him. Like, how fun. I think you get confused about love.

Yeah. You know that song from pulp, common people? It's a bit like that. Like it's like I've got like, like, yeah, you do. Kink about like the like, like, you know, the hustle of it all and the bustle and the bed being on the floor and the red light and the cotton fresh spray on the fuck.

Do you know what I'm living with every day? It's fucking mad. Yeah, I liked it. We had a great time is all you need to know. Like it was really good. But then I did have a moment. You know afterwards like, yes.

It was like. Where you think, what have I done? Well, we'd been for round two. Like, a lot was going on. I was lying there, staring at this crack on the ceiling, just thinking, actually, I probably need to go home now. I don't want to wake up here. Actually, I've just realised.

It was like 4.30 in the morning. And do you know, the most mortifying thing was that I called an Uber. I get in. It's the same guy that had dropped us off. No. Also, it was hilarious because I was wearing that Abercrombie fur coat, but I was wearing a leotard that I didn't want to put back on. So I was just carrying my leotard.

And she was like, hi, sir. And then we just didn't speak to each other because I think he knew and I knew what had been going down. I was a long way home. It was... What's all I'll say? It was...

I was having some private thoughts. I fucking hope so. I was watching the skyline of London things. I hope so. Okay. Anyway, whatever. I had a nice time and you think your frontal lobe's coming. I just think, like in what world?

Well, no one... If that's your frontal lobe fully developed, then go back. No one... Try again. I just think you can't have a frontal lobe when you're horny. I think, That's what is the barrier to entry.

And that's why most men take a while, just saying. Fair. Because they're more, or not more, but, you know, commonly more horny. Fair. Yeah. So, anyway, this is all by the by. I'm relaying this. Obviously, everyone who hears this story is like, this is bad.

Orange, red flags everywhere. And I'm like, but we had such a nice time. We got on so well. He's a Libra. And they're like, not enough. And Holly and I, like, you can literally get on with anyone. And there are lots of, no. Raw was like, basically, there are lots of nice people in the watch.

You don't shag them all. You don't need to shag them. That's what he said to me. And I thought, actually, I don't regret that one. It was really 10 out of 10. Anyway, so everyone's like, la la, la. So I'm thinking, ah, God, what am I going to do? Will I see him again?

Like, I don't really know the crack. I'm humming and Ring. We're texting at this point. Also, sorry, he's really into, obviously, because he's taken one look at her and think, I thought I'm punching. Holly was like, you just like the fact that he likes you. And I was like, yeah, maybe I do.

It's been a while. Okay. So anyway, I'm just thinking this through. I'm thinking, am I going to see him again? He's gone back. He's from. up north. He's gone back. So he's away for like two weeks. So I know I'm not going to need to see him imminently. Anyway, this date happened on a Saturday night. It gets to Thursday, same week.

And Holes is just like minding her own business. On Hinch. She gets a like. Who's the like from this boy? Let's call him. 6-7. So 6-7 likes not only a picture on Holly's profile, but a picture of Holly and I. A full frontal photo. So I'm in the picture. So at this point I think, oh no worries, he's being cute. Doing it to get my attention. Yeah, he's trying to get my attention. Hilarious.

I was like match with him. Obviously need to see what he says or like what this is. Let's just double check that he is trying to like have a lot. And he knows that's me, I hope. Then he proceeds to text her and like come on to her like really thick and fast. Bearing in mind. When you're messaging, all you can see is the picture of Holly and G's full face. Like, also he's not even like,

Catfish face. Like, it looks like me. It's me. I'm even blonde. Like, there's loads of pictures where I'm like ginger or I've got pink hair. So like, fair enough, I might let you off. But I'm like fully blonde and I'm just me. I don't have braces in the pick.

That's like the only thing. But my mouth is closed. So I'm thinking, I don't know. Anyway, obviously I'm raging because I'm like, no, the messages are really inappropriate. Like, hardcore. Yeah. Like, he's gone in.

He's like, you're the answer to my dreams, basically. And I'm like, right. Sorry. So let me just circle back. to when I was like on top of you in your red light room and you don't know who I am. Five, and there five days ago, I'm spiraling, I'm thinking, I'm going to sell him.

At this point, I don't even know that I care to see him again anyway, but which is a bit fuckboy off me, to be fair, to use this as like the, I'm never going to see you again. I don't think that is. Well, everyone, we went to like the boys upstairs and they're obviously like just air him. I don't believe in ghosting. I like fully take a stance against ghosting. I think it's really bad boots.

So I thought I've got to say something. Anyway, I just basically messaged him and was like, I think it's kind of fucked that you didn't know that was me. All that you did and you're playing some kind of weird game. Either way, not my vibe. Have a nice life. His response, I didn't know it was you. I just think, right, listen. He sent a one minute 30 voice note though, like, bear game.

Like, I'm so sorry. I honestly, like, I was just like, you know, being a bit dopey. I didn't really realize. I'm like, in this situation, either you actually don't know that's me in which case, like, you honestly need to go and like learn something. Well, also like spec savers maybe.

Well, more than spec savers, like honestly find one brain cell within you. Please. That is mad. It's a lie. You cannot look at that photo and not know it's me. Well, I would allow it if like, because I know that like some people use hinge like Instagram and it's just like doom scrolling.

Like I do get that. But like you did them send about six texts on the chat where the picture is that you liked. of me. So that's one option. The other option is he obviously is just he does know and like that's fucked. So basically they're all bad like all outcomes are bad. So basically another one bites the dust. So I'm thrilled to be honest. He wasn't her husband anyway. So yeah. So we go again. Yeah. Good rid of bad rubbish. But I just think like if I were him, I would have just owned it and be like yeah, to be fair I was trying to get your attention. Exactly. Like just anything other than

I didn't know that was you. Like any like honestly anything. I thought that was my sister would be better. Honestly. You knew I knew her. Knew you look familiar. Do you know what I mean? Anyway. I just thought if I was voice noting into this pod, that's one I would send. And actually, I now have sympathy for the galleys because that took me a long time to get that out.

Sorry. We could have, listen, there are bullet points that you could have included there. Anyway, enough about me. How's your week been, Miss 30? 30 for 30 thriving? Well, this is not my week, but this is like, you know, my new life, I suppose. Wow. Well, it is. I really feel like I turn 30. If no one knows, I turn 30 on the 30th of December. And it is incredibly liberating place to be. I'm not joking. I think that everyone, not to get all deep, but I really think that people have this hang up about like 30 and like having to get all your shit together. And I just, it's, I just think being 29 starts because all you think about is turning 30 and then you get there and you think, fucking hell. No biggie. Well, also it's nice actually to start a new decade, I think.

You know, start as you mean to go on. Yeah. You can start again. And like, you know, if you think about like how long a decade is. Why is it so long? So long. Look, if I think about being 19. Yes, it's a different person.

Are you mad? I can't even remember the things I used to do at 19. Well, like the opinions I had. I'd actually like to forget a lot of the things I did at 19, 20. So, yeah, that's my, that's my big news, really. I had nothing more, nothing less. just really genuinely happy to be 30. Brilliant.

Yeah. Really am. Everyone's looking at me like I'm lying and I'm not. No, I actually don't think she is lying. I don't think you're lying? No, I'm not. Also, I think everyone needs to drop the whole big deal thing. I'm like, it's so fine.

It's another birthday. Well, also, it's just like, I think that this whole thing of, okay, the one thing I will say about 30 is it is fucking weird because like a lot of people around you are married and having babies. But that's been happening to us for like two, three years now. I think this is what I mean about 30. I think people think, well, when I'm 30, I'm going to, like, just have my life together

and then, like, then I'll be ready. And it's like, I don't think that really, this is what I think about life actually now. I'm learning. I don't think anyone actually feels ready for what they're doing. That's what I'm going to say, though, because, like, I don't think actually anyone turning the age thinks those things.

Because the closer you get to the age as you thought you were going to do things, the more you realise you're far away from the things. When I was 16, I thought I'd been married with three kids. Exactly, but you didn't think that, like, two months ago. I don't think that now. Exactly. So as you get older, you're not like, oh, by 30,

because you're like, well, that's in six months. It's so impossible. So you don't have those worries. Do you know what I mean? It's just like you used to maybe or like society still thinks that you will. But actually you in your heart, you're not like, I'm going to have X, Y, Z like in three months time. This is what I think about like having kids.

I think that, I don't know. I think maybe there are some people that do think that way that think like at 33, I'm going to try and have a bit. there's quite like a bit more prescriptive. Well the baby thing's tricky because you know nature's fucking with you there. It's giving you a bit of a time limit. I know.

Do you know what I mean? If you're a man you might not be worried so much. That's all I'm saying. They can pop them up 80. But I think maybe some men also do have like a prescriptive view of like I want to have this done by 35. Like I want to have popped out two kids. I want to be have a mortgage and like

it's quite a limiting way to live. More importantly, we've now only got a year to get on Forbes 30 under 30. That's all I'm saying. Oh my God. Oh my God. I didn't even think about that. That's the real timeline that matters here.

Babies, marriage. Who gives a shit? Right, what are we going to do about that? I don't know, sis. If anyone is listening, what do you actually have to have done? Just being like really good at what you do. Like, honestly, a lot of it is like being like the best,

like in the top 30 of your category in your industry. Right. Who defines what's the best? I don't know. Because we could tick that box. Many people on the board. We need to start bribing them. Briving the board.

I'm, listen. I don't condone. illegal behaviour but I do think there's nothing wrong with a little bit of bribing. Nothing wrong with lattery. Oh, everyone likes a bit of lottery. Nothing wrong with a little bit of entertainment on the business. Nothing wrong with a like, you know, dinner, lunch, show, holiday, whatever you want. Do you know what I mean?

We always follow the rules and we do our accounting and take a lot of them. HMRC listens to us. I really honestly. I bet they do. There must be galley's at HMRC. I doubt it. You can't all not be a galley. I don't think that anyone at HMRC is listening to us.

Really? Yeah. I don't know why I just. Nah. There must be, come on, tell us, girls, we must. There must be people at HMRC that are like in the catchment for our podcast. They've got a stick up their ass HMRC. Do you know that?

I know. I just think, loosen up. My God. No, it's actually a major issue for us. I know. When I see that like corporation tax shit come through, I think, whoa, that can't be right. Someone's matters and matting. I tell you what is wild about getting older is people think, you know, stuff.

I just think, why would you assume that I know that? Like, okay. Like the pensions, both the pensions are so bad. I saw the email come through. I know. I don't even know how to like auto enroll. I auto enrolled us and I don't know what that means. How would I know that you had?

Also, we're like two years too late. It's genuinely illegal as an employer. I can't believe it. Did you guys know this? If you run a business, you have to be registered with a pension provider. Yeah. No, but only if you employ. Like, how do you know that?

Because I've been, well, I've been an employee and I've been, yeah, self-inployed. You've done both. Well, the problem was, like, I just want to tell you. everyone in our defense we were self-employed so we probably should have had a pension didn't then I worked for the B you worked for a proper company so fine got a pension but then we won employees of ourselves but now we are and this was this whole new thing that we were functioning under and I didn't know that it's like illegal to do that without a pension and we've done it now apparently there is a bit of um I googled it I asked chat GPT apparently there's a bit of grace

period so I think we're fine other news from me I'm still not engaged so that's nice Okay. Moving on. We're all hoping and praying, but alas, it's not happening, have it? This is not happened. Right, much disgust. I think we've covered much ground. Yeah.

Yeah. So let's have a quick break and then we'll get some voice notes. Okay, galleys, welcome back. It's time for the serious business. The reason we're all here to hear from you. Yes, the voice notes. If you don't know, every week we name the galleys so that you can all remain anonymous.

And if you're worried about being even more anonymous, two things. We can put a filter on your voice. Fun. Number two, guys, brand new for 2026. We're now accepting email submissions. Yes, we've had our arm twisted. It's mainly because I don't really like reading. I've realised.

I don't like reading aloud. I think it's some kind of school drama. I don't know. Anyway. I can read. I don't mind reading aloud. Al will read or Izzy will read. Yeah, I think so.

I'll just sit back and listen. Great. So you can email us. So the email address is hello at leave a messagepod.com. If you want a voice note, us, the number is 07342-61-7792, or just click the link in the description. I'd say that's considerably easier.

It's so clever. Takes you right there, girls. It's right there. Don't worry about it. And what we want this to be is like, you know, if you're on a night out and you've had a crazy thing happen to you, go to the bathroom, voice note us.

If you've got something that you're like, oh, my friends are saying one thing, I'm thinking another thing. If I just get like a third opinion, come here. Good. It can honestly be anything. We're really not fussy. Just send it in, give it a stab in the dark.

I'm excited. I'm excited. What will we call the galleys this week? Oh. It needs to be something about like new. Oh. Like Nova. Love it.

Okay. One thing you need to know about us is... That we've kind of got minds like sieves. So unless we write things down, we'll forget. Do you said something really good the other day. It's called historical recall and I thought, I don't have any of that. So that's what I need. Also, if you don't know about me, I don't really listen ever to anyone.

I know. We're working on this. This is why I'm not convinced of the frontal lobe. I don't think that's a frontal lobe thing. I think that's an innate personality trait, sadly. So anyway, we need to write things down so that I listen and engage. Thank you. So we use whiteboards.

Because also nice to, you know, don't worry, it's not permanent, basically. it all goes with the safety of this group chart is that no one will remember because we'll just wipe it down. Hi, galleys. I'm so glad that the pod is back. I had the situation ship that ended around, I want to say the end of October and we had gone basically no contact

because he had no emotional intelligence, so I dropped him. And yeah, we hadn't talked for well over a month. Until Christmas Day, when he sent whatever, Everyone was getting apparently this year. Merry Christmas message. And me, like an idiot, said Merry Christmas back. So we had messaged again on and off, like after that,

but not, like, we hadn't really carried on a proper conversation. And then it got to New Year's Day. And I may have or may not have messaged him, Happy New Year's, to which he left me on. Despite this, he is still flirting around with me. I don't know what to do. I know I should just drop him, but I'm scared that if I see him on a night out or something, I'm not going to be able to resist.

Despite him being an idiot. Please help me out. And I hope you both had a lovely Christmas and New Year's. Bye. Thanks, Queen. Oh, goodness me. Tell us old as time, that, isn't it? That is tell us all the time.

Can I just say, what is it? With the Christmas and New Year's text? I was just about to say. I hate it. My ex. I've even written Merry Xmas. Boring. Boring.

No, and also it's so gaming. So bored. Honestly. No, but it's like you're kind of like waiting for it. No, because it's just like pathetic. But it's a good excuse. Birthday's Christmas New Year you can text. Easter you can't.

That's weird. I don't think Christmas is a good news. Like it's, listen. Christmas. We've all forgotten that Christmas is the day that Jesus was born. It's not the day that you wish your ex's good luck. Do you know what I mean? I do know how we've got all that twisted.

I do you find it bizarre. You know, when you get those round robin Christmas messages from people that you're like half acquaintances with and you were like, God, was I meant to say happy Christmas to you? That feels weird. What is happy Christmas for anyone? I know. Well, we said it to each other.

Well, like, you don't count, babe. You're family. I'm talking about your fucking Joe down the road. I'm not saying happy Christmas to like everyone I've ever known. No, that first, that second year. So me and my ex broke up in same. timeish like November, then that year after, I remember nothing on Christmas

and I thought, odd, because I just feel like it's a good excuse, right? Well, this is the thing it is an excuse. Come on, you can. But then New Year, do you need to? I got the text and I thought, weird, happy New Year. I actually think New Year is a little bit better than Christmas because Christmas, you're with your family,

like, what do you think I'm going to be doing? Sending you tip picks in the bathroom and my family Christmas dinner? I was that what it's for tip picks? No, I'm just saying, like, and I didn't know it was for tip picks. I never knew it was for tip picks. I'm just saying like New Year is like Happy New Year, wish you all the best for the year. It's different to happy Christmas,

like celebrate, have a nice day with your family. Like, what do you mean? Yes. Weird. I would say. I just think unventive. Oh, sure.

Any other day of the year. Some Patrick's Day. Happy St. Patrick's Day Queen. Like, Chinese New Year, happy horsing. Yeah. Like something funny. Like, yeah.

Like you're galloping into 2026. Literally. Then I'd be like, sure, can't wait to ride you. Good. Good. Yeah. But without that, you're right. Boring.

Boring. I would say in this scenario, I actually haven't had a situation ship in a long time. It's quite fun, isn't it? To have someone that's a bit like, is he's like, yes. Yeah, I had this exact situation.

Did you? Did they then ghost you? Well, so he ghosted my Merry Christmas back because I was like, you want to send me Merry Christmas, you must send it back. That's rude. So I was like, Merry Christmas, how are you doing? Nothing.

Oh, you asked a question. Then, no, I know. Big problem there. I was gagging for a response. Obviously asked a question. And then he did not respond to my WhatsApp. Snapchatted me happy new year. He was like, no, I need to respond to you WhatsApp.

I was like, yeah, you do. And then after that, what happened? Oh, I've aired him, girls, don't you worry? Well done. Can I just ask, because, you know, we're ancient. Snapchat. What is that? So previously we had used it for other activities.

Tipics, sure. Absolutely, absolutely. Like, we're not, we're not doing that on WhatsApp. It feels a bit. Obviously not. That seems crazy. Although I will say, WhatsApp privacy policy, very good. And disappearing.

messages. Yeah. Yeah. We've not gone on to the disappearing messages and WhatsApp. So that's why I was quite shot when I was like, oh, Snapchat on New Year. Is it going to be a dick pick? Fingers crossed. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like I've mugged him off there, but I don't really mind. Well, I think the problem is that you're not sure that you can mug it. Like, Nova is not sure. She says, I've written, Don't Be Scared, because you said you're scared you're not going to be able to resist. Right. This is what I'm going to say, and it's a little bit toxic. Bear with me. But I just think he's playing games. So let's play games. When you see him out and about, I don't think you need to acknowledge him. I think you could do a hi. Like, I don't think you need to be worried. I think you need

to engage a different part of your brain. So when you see him, you can't think pining. You have to think, okay, this is a game hot and cold. I have to stay away. Like, it's almost like the floor is lava, but like he's lava. Well, also, you just need to really, this is also might be a toxic thing to say. But you need to remember that you are better than him. Like, you need to really visualize yourself, like, above him. So that whatever he says, whatever he does, he can't fucking touch you. You're the queen on your own throne. You're the queen of the kingdom.

And like, he's just literally a lowly sheep farmer. He farms the sheep, exactly. Yeah. I don't know what to tell you. Like, he, when you can take the power back for yourself, they really cannot affect you. Like, there's nothing to resist. Yeah. I'll decide. Yes. And then it's like, well, the queen, like, if the sheep farmer comes to play, she might engage. She also might not. So it's like,

then you give yourself the choice back. And listen, if he's not interested in you, then see you later. Like, so I just think I'm saying this to myself all the time at the moment. I really don't want to beg someone to like me. Like, I really don't want to convince you that I'm like, and funny and likable and the woman of your dreams. I don't want to convince you of that. 100%.

If I have to do like an elevator pitch as to why, I should get crumbs from you. I can't be dealing with that. I want to be like convincing myself that like you're enough for me. Do you know what I mean? So I think you just have to like... Flip the switch. Yeah. Anyone that you're having to convince...

No, no, no. No, no. Look within. Find it within. Yeah. To know that. Yeah. Because you do have to know it.

And like just... Like there's knowing it and then there's knowing it. And you need to get to a place where like... This is not just for him, by the way. This is for every boy in your life that you encounter. You have to know. You would be fucking lucky. Yeah.

You really would be. So I'm actually doing you a favour, brother. Yeah. brother. Well, we have voice at number two. Hey, galleys. So I was seeing this man for a couple of months, and we'd only met once,

but we'd rekindled things after Christmas, and he is bisexual. So I'm sure you can imagine the kind of things he might like in the bedroom and what that might mean for me. We were sexting quite a lot, and I was thinking, this is great.

I'm going to get to peg this man. I thought that he was all this new side of myself. And we were sexting a few days ago, and he's like, I want you to keep an open mind when I ask you this. But you seem really confident that you'd be able to make me finish, giving me head. And I've never been very good at making men finish from head. I wondered whether you could give me some advice,

and telling me what you like to do, to help me. And I thought, sorry, is this man asking me for gay sex advice? This is wild. And I said, are you asking me for advice on how to blow another man? And he's like, no, no, no, there's no other men. That's not what I'm asking you, you swear down. And I thought, this is exactly what you're asking me. And long story short, we haven't spoken since that conversation.

Because I've got to have gone down as the worst thing a man has said to me whilst sexting. Personally, I'm quite sad that I'm not going to get to peg a man. But gee, if you ever date a bisexual man, watch out. I can't wait. That is too bad. I love that you know I'm like such an advocate for pegging. Wow. Call a spade to spade.

Call a spade to spade. You've asked for advice. That is... I don't know. that's so crazy because sorry can I just clarify they hadn't slept together yet this was just like in the pre-run-up wow so it's not even like she's got techers

because if she's got techers if he's had proof that she can deliver the goods and he's like that's the best head I've ever had let me take some lessons from you but you've got nothing to go on you can't like that is also it like it's kind of irrelevant that he's by because it could be like I could be dating

a straight guy and he'd be like okay maybe it is irrelevant but like you mean relevant relevant yeah maybe it is relevant sorry it is relevant because a straight guy wouldn't be asking for head advice but he might like if he was like oh why would he you come really easily how do you come because maybe I'd like to learn how to make that come but that's different to saying can you give me specific advice on how to give a good blowjohn imagine she gets the full like power by the way guys I can give a lesson on that I knew she was going to blow her own trumpet I've even written back myself and I actually underlined balls pay attention

to the balls. All I can think of when I think about blowjob advice is Alex Cooper talking about that like desert. Everyone's heard this right? Well, where it's like the only thing that's left to like drink. It's like you're like literally three days in the desert and you've not drank anything for those three days and you are so thirsty. Then you see this man's dick and dick is water. It's like a fountain. So you go over to this fountain.

I do think that's good advice. She said sloppy the better. Wet, wet, wet. Okay, wet, sloppy the better, yes. But you can't just be willy-nilly with a tongue action. It's got to be firm. It does. You've got to use a guiding force with your tongue.

Guiding force. Like, you need to have direction. Like, it can't just be, like, sloppy tongue everywhere. Don't you think everyone's different? Yes. Because I do. And I think it's all about being adapt and overcome. And like, I don't want to...

I don't think you should be. Don't be prescriptive, but definitely don't be sloppy. Sorry, I realised that this was not the points of the voice note. Like, you don't need the advice and you didn't want to give it to him. Maybe you could send this to him though, I don't know. It's wild. I would never. I just would never.

I just think that's sexy. I honestly would honestly, like just go, like just anywhere else. I would ask anyone else. Chart GPT is fine. Chad GPT doesn't know. When was the last time you saw ChatGPT giving a go and blow job? I don't know because I just feel like imagine all the people that put in data to chat GPT about sex.

So then I think chat GPT must have a lot of historical recall. Sorry, this is not relevant at all, but talking about what people put in, I was sitting next to this guy on the tube yesterday, and he had his arm covered like this. Dead. And he was looking up, like, aggressive forms of hand rashes. I was right next to him I could see,

and I could see all the pictures on Google. I thought, oh, my God, this man is going to infect me with this hand rash. I bet you were desperate to see the rash. I was desperate, and I was like this. trying to look. And then when I got off because I thought maybe I'll get a back angle

I didn't but he was like nonstop for like 45 minutes Googling rushes and I thought ask chat GPT please sorry

not the point but that is so funny wild yeah wow I don't know what I'd do in that situation

I think I'd still see him to be honest if the chat was good I'd give it a go I think that's interesting that's a new layer a new story to tell that's my problem

I always want a story to tell yeah fair I would do it for the wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. It depends how old you are, I suppose. You've got to stop.

When do you stop doing things with the plot, I wonder. I don't think that's how life works. I honestly think you do things. They're just different things. Always for the plot. Yeah. Just the plot changes. The plot changes.

New chapter. Circumstances of your plot changes. Yes. But I honestly will be doing things for the plot till I'm 105. Also, girls, I highly recommend pegging for the plot. Okay? Because it's just good. Just one time.

It will teach you a lot about yourself. That's all I'm saying. It's quite, like, quite a, you know, Religious experience. Well, also, can I just say, I've been thinking about this a lot recently. That you want to pay for the plot? Well, that, and...

When you get to your deathbed, just, when you think about, like, I just don't want to live with what if. Sure. So even if you fucking hate it, at least you tried it. I'm not saying go out there and, like, inject herself with heroin

because of what if, but, like, I do... Sorry, that made me spit. The heroin really shocked me. I'm just saying, like, there is so much of life to experience. There really is. And like some of it's good, some of it's bad.

It's all just part of life's rich tapestry. Maybe talking a guy through how to give a blowjob is sexy. I don't know. I'm just throwing it out there. Maybe you would have liked it. And maybe when you're lying on your deathbed, you'll think, lull, that was funny.

That wasn't very nice. That he was taking notes whilst I was giving head. Yeah. I don't know. Voice note number one. situation ship, it's a Christmas day text, it's a New Year's Day text, then it's a ghosting.

I actually need to circle back to this. Please. I've just written Christmas as the time because Nova number two also said after Christmas, I think we need to release ourselves from the fucking chains that is this like seasonal time of year where everyone thinks anything goes. I know, we all get a bit feral.

What is that? I don't know. Let's not do that. Really? Well, because I just think no need. Like this is a good example of, you could have avoided that. I just think it's because it's dark.

outside. And as Shakespeare famously once said, Doth happen under the cover of night. What did he say? He definitely didn't say Doth happen. He definitely didn't say Doth Peg under the cover of night. Doth Dupac. No, it's Romeo and Julia. It is. Doth take notes on how to give him a good blowjob at the time of Christmas. It's Doth avoid your situation ship into club when you next see him. Doth avoid and Doth, remember, it's time for family and Jesus. Okay, rest. Ye. Rest ye, rest your genitals.

Fine. Rest the situation ships. Rest. Yes, fine. And then Nova number two, obviously one of the worst, like, dirty talks I've heard in a long time is to ask advice on how to give other men head, to be fair. It's not ideal. It's not, no.

It's not the sexiest. No. It's not not sexy. But it's not the sexiest is what I'm going to say. I would put it up there with relatively, like, unsexiest. depends what you're into. Right, will I get rid of my whiteboard now? Sure.

Thank you. Okay. Wait, I best rub it so it doesn't go on the... Yeah, no, I best rub it. On the... Guys, you best wait while we rub it. You best wait. Doth rub.

Doth rub. What is here, guys? It's Romeo and Juliet. It's like, things only happen under moonlight. It's, you know, it's that famous, Taylor's oldest time. Clearly not that famous. Nightfall.

She does that huge monologue. I did it. The Oxford School of Drama for my... I didn't get in. But for my three-year acting course, I went in, I was Juliet, horny as anything, because the moon had fell. That was what it was. Is it about the moon?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's about the moon. It's about darkness. About full moon. Full moon. Well, God only knows what happens on a full moon. God only knows. I think it was a full moon that. Yeah.

I think I know it was. Oh, I know it was. Oh, sure. Well, it was. It got all out of hand, I'd say, around the four moon. It's all I know. New Year was a blur. This is new.

Things we loved and didn't love from this episode. You go first. I didn't love the squalor of that man. Fine. Six, seven. I didn't love being misremembered on Hinge. Good. I didn't love the fact that everyone thinks Christmas time is a time to get frisky.

Fine. I didn't love airing. I don't love it. I don't believe in it. And I think it should be illegal. Things why did love. Sure. Turning 30.

Turning 30. Please. My holiday, I didn't talk about it, but obviously I love that. No one wants to hear about it. The full moon. We love. We love. Yes.

I loved... I know this is controversial. I kind of loved the audacity of that guy. Yeah, I don't... No, no, fair. Like, listen, if you don't ask, you don't get it. Like, I didn't love, you know, maybe for her... To be her in that situation.

No, I do appreciate the audacity. Agree. Last one? I did love flipping the switch on having the power to decide what to do about your shitty situation ships. Amen. Yay. Okay, this is serious now. Right, lock in.

If you've got a story or dilemma that only Ali and G can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp. on. 07342 61-77992 or click the link in the episode description.

I would do that that's much easier. Like if you want just like a low fruit just honestly click the fucking ink. Also brand new

alert brand new brand new. Beal weo weal brand new you can also now write us

I love that you can write us an email oh sorry I thought it was just you can can write us. Okay, right.

This is the problem with her reading out loud. We're going to miss some information in translation. I think you should go and do that again. I think that's not nothing to me. Don't cut that. None of my business. None of my business. Okay, you can also write us an email at hello at leave a message pod.com.

If you don't fancy sending us a voice note, if it's really juicy and you want to spill the tea and you don't want anyone to ever know your name, please do that. Thank you so much. We're back. I'm so excited. I'm happy. We love you. We can't wait.

It's going to be so fun. See you next week. Bye! Bye