Leave A Message with Ally & G - She Doesn’t Want To Get Married And G Gets DUMPED!!

Episode Date: March 25, 2026

It’s a tough week for G as her mystery podcast man finds out she’s been talking about him on Leave a Message with @allyandg… Whoops! Also, Ally’s been getting frisky during the night… Plus, one Gally isn’t sure if marriage is for her and another Gally thinks her boyfriend HATES her boss girlie era! FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ali and G will be here in just a moment to spill the tea. And once you've finished this episode, get the latest from Tony Told Me lined up to play next for brilliant Big Sister advice. Tony's always got your back. And this week, she's getting into the green flags we don't talk about when it comes to relationships. Yes, the good stuff.

Search for Tony Told Me and get the show lined up to play straight after this one. Welcome to leave a message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need every single week. Whether you like to share your knickers with your bestie. Or you just found out you have a long-loss brother you never knew about. This is the place for you. Right, we've got much to discuss this week.

Many updates. You're going to die, babe. Oh, disappointments, oddly. Producer Izzy's been away. She had a week on the slopes. Did everyone notice how there was not much, you know, voice from behind the camera last week? We didn't even address the fact that you weren't here. I know you had a bit of a reference to producer Jack, but I think we need to silence men.

You're this is a good thing. We kept like slagging off straight men and I was like kept like side-dying producer Jack. Like awkward, like awkward, like awkward. He's only here because he's getting paid. Also he gets it. He gets it. He really gets it. You know, he's an ally.

Thank God. We wouldn't have anyone else in the room. Right. So to give you some context here, G, previously two episodes ago, spoke about her first date with this guy that she matched with on hinge. They went for pizza. They had a nice time. She said she never laughed harder, but she wasn't instantly infatuated with him. It's the context here. Which we've like learned is quite a good thing. I'd say that's the best fucking starting place you could come from. Yeah. Like also it's not to say that it doesn't come. You know,

it's just. I would be worried, babe. If you sat here and said he's a love of my life, I'm infatuated with him. I want to have his babies. Problem is when I, I'm worried. I'm worried. because when I meet someone that's good on paper and I have a vibe with, I will say all of those things. Like, I know me. Like, I just swear. No, but that's why I liked this guy

because you didn't have that. But there was still like a rapport. I was intrigued, if you were. Anyway, basically what happened was we obviously planned our second day. But I fear I overshared too close to the sun. Well, that podcast clip obviously went out. He saw said podcast clip.

Oh, right. sent me a text basically being like, I didn't appreciate it. It didn't make me feel like you were excited for our second day. And I'm really excited. This was a bit they're like actually annoyed me. He's like, I was, I'm really excited about tomorrow night about seeing off menu. I'm really excited about it. And I'm really excited about it.

And I was like, well, number one, I'm also excited about off menu. I feel passionate about off menu, obviously. And number two, I never said I wasn't excited. But anyway, he sent this huge. basically like dumping me. And then I replied because I was like, I'm just going to... I on her behalf was obviously fucking fuming because I'm like, it is so...

Oh, there are so many layers to this. But like, be smart enough to realize that that is a 90 second clip of a 50 minute episode. Number one. Number two, we watched that fucking clip back three times. We didn't actually say anything bad. We were having a wider conversation about whether being drunk in love on the...

first meet is a good thing. And I was actually the one that was saying, I don't think it's, I think it's a red flag. Also, imagine if I'd have been like, he was everything. And like, that was the clip we'd seen. And I was like, I'm so excited.

I've been counting down the days. I'm not sleeping. I'm not eating because I'm just so excited to see him again. Like, he would have been like, okay, you need help. And I shan't be taking you to off menu. So I basically think maybe it was just an excuse. Maybe he saw the clip and he thought,

do you know what? She's not for me. loud, opinionated, chatty, online, not for me. Fine, but he never said that. Just say. I just realised actually I don't want my personal life spoken about. Yeah, which is fair. Like, you know, everyone's entitled to their personal lives.

So anyway, then I kind of sent this text because I was like, no, no, no. I did actually like him and like, if he has just got confused and he can be one round, I'm going to give it a go, one shot. Send this text where I'm basically like, okay, I don't know that that's quite what was said. And I really want you to know that I was quite excited about going. on a second date with you and I fancied you and like all's good my end and he was basically I'm still going. I see no problem here to be honest. Me off and you're just standing outside like waiting waiting he's there with another girl I'm like hi is my ticket still not available and then

he basically yeah he just said that he felt no good and he'd like to leave it there so I was just fully dumped. My other issue with it sorry if we're really going to go there you know now that we know this man absolutely nothing is that like you have like like you have like you have like Like, I think, and I feel so protective of you. And this is why I'm like, when you're like, oh, go softly softly. I'm like, it's just so boring that you have to change like yourself and the way that you move. And also like, this is your job to like pander to some man's fragile ego. Like it is so boring that that's the thing that's standing in the way.

And I'm like, if he just bothered to like, first of all, he could have said, can we have a conversation about this? Not let's just bin this off. If it was the other way round and I genuinely, I think it was just an excuse. Like I just think he doesn't. I agree. And also, there were some other,

you know, signs there perhaps that he wasn't your dreamer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I think maybe he was just like, oh, like this is a good excuse. If it was the other way round and I had listened to a guy speak about me, as long as it was like respectful.

Which we were. Which I believe we were. Same can't be said for Red Lightman. Do you know what I mean? He's got some legs of son dog. Yes, exactly. But this guy, I believe we were really respectful about him. So if he'd have, if it was the other way around,

I'd have literally gone on the date and I'd just been like, so I saw the TikTok. And then I'd have just either said, don't, you know, speak about me, take my name out your mouth. Or... We didn't name him. We didn't actually... We never named.

We also didn't give any defining features other than the fact they went for a fucking pizza. Like, I did that. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've said much worse. I've called people ugly on here. I said what I said.

But this is. my thing is that like I agree in this instance he was using it as an excuse but like in the main I do think okay apart from there we're a few maybe that we should have we shouldn't have said some of the things no listen we've made some mistakes we're all human and we're learning but this is my other thing I'm like guys we're also doing this for the first time like we're learning how to do this just as much as you're learning to get to know what this feels like so I am quite transparent like even on a first day like once my job comes up like I try not to talk about it but Once it does come up, I do say, you know, I like, I talk about my life.

And like, when someone asks what this podcast is about, I'm like, it's about. Our lives. Yeah, and like, problems. And like, I need to share that in order to receive that, you know? Yes. So, anyway, a lesson to be learned, I suppose. I don't know what the lesson is, though, because genuinely I really, and I said to her, in the past, perhaps, you might wouldn't have been able to stand up in court and defend

everything that came out of your mouth. In this instance, I genuinely believe that you could have done that. And that's my issue is that like, you know, you can be as respectful of your life. People, as you like, people are always going to have a problem with it. Yeah.

Fuck them. Fuck them. Yeah. I wonder if there's a man that exists out there that wouldn't mind. I know, I have dated one. I think there will be. This is the thing is that sometimes then the pendulum swings the other way and they're like a bit gastoid. But to be honest.

Rather that. Much better. Rather that, let's get him a front row seat. Do you know what I mean? Get him in. If he's gassed, let him be gassed. Much better. Yeah.

Yeah. So I, yeah. Oh, this is why I keep saying, we need someone in the industry because then they'll understand that, like, you know, to be honest, also, you're not sharing the things you would say off cam. You're not.

I'm very selective about, you know, what I do and don't share, actually. You know what I mean? Much I could say that I don't. Much. Much. Receipts. I could post everywhere.

But yes, so then I didn't have a date. So back to the drawing board girls. Now I'm, this is my new approach, right? So obviously I'm still on hinge. But I'm desperately trying to get on later because apparently that's where it all happens. I'm now every single person we meet or hang out with. I'm like, so have you got any friends to set me up with?

Yeah, good. Two separate people last week were like, yeah, I think I know someone. I was like, brilliant. Give them my number. No, I'm not joking. If it gets to Friday and he hasn't, that person has. and text saying this is the date. You're going to message.

I will say, sis. Where is this man? Yeah. Where is this man? Where's our reservation? No, I'm going to follow him on Instagram. My other new tactic. No, because I told him not to tell who it was.

Oh, it's mysterious. It's mysterious. It's genuinely blind. It's a blind date. It's a blind date. Apart from for me because I know who he is. And the other three of us. Yes.

So basically it's blind for him. It's blind for him. Yeah. Because what we've got to do now, girls, is. trick them. Because this is not seeming to be the, you know, best trait for being a single woman on the market. My other thing is, like, bother to get to know me and actively do not watch my videos. Like, I find that annoying because it's like, when he was like, oh, I feel so passionately about this.

I really do because I just think they're so immature and insecure. all of these men. Sorry, hashtag not all men, but like seems to be the general trend. Yeah, that we're meeting, yeah. Yeah. And we're encountering. God, you're so dull.

It is... Imagine I just replied to that text of him being like, I think we should leave it here. I just feel like, this is so dull. All I wanted to do was be at off menu anyway. Talking about bread and my like death room. It was so funny. It was someone we know went to off menu and she sent me,

random girl. She sent me the story being like, oh my God, I can't believe he took her instead. I hope he went. I'd love to text him now and be like, hey, who'd you go with? Oh, I wouldn't call you on Instagram? No, I didn't give him, I would never give someone my Instagram, ever. And the other, sorry, you want to go deeper? He told her on the day he doesn't have TikTok.

So why are you on TikTok? Why are you looking at my business on TikTok? Why are you up in my grill? I need to get some, I need to get onto the TikTok gods and be like, how do I block numbers in this sitch? Do you know what I mean? Why don't you... Like on a hinge, you can block your ex's number so you never see them, right? I think, to be honest, I know you've gone down the burner Instagram account.

Guys, I've set up a finster, a pinster, is it? My issue with this is that you kind of like the middle of false sense of pretences. Yeah, it's true. No, I think the pinster is actually like a really bad idea. Personal Insta. Right. Because with Amos. Right, sorry.

Right, babe, but it's not private. It's private? It's not private. It wasn't initially before I made it private. Holly was like, do you know this isn't private? I was like, what? That whole point. It's private, very select for it.

Right. Yeah, I think it's bad for, because also I've got no posts. Well, this is the thing. I was thinking. I looked like a weird, like, bot. All weekend she was posting. I thought this will last a week. And it has lasted two days.

Now I've got nothing interesting to say that I wouldn't say to my... My other thing is that I don't want you to have to filter yourself. This is my whole thing. And maybe it will take you longer. But I feel. really fucking passionately that you shouldn't have to filter or change yourself because you're a successful badass because all of these fragile, insecure, dull men are out there and they can't look themselves in the mirror and think actually, yeah, she's a boss bitch. Yeah. And this is how

she shows up to work. I find it jarring. Yeah. And you shouldn't have to do that. You shouldn't. I think it's just a balance between like... It's a balance, sure. But this is what I mean. Okay, sorry, what I was going to say is, I don't think it's about a burner and stuff. I think it's a burner number. It's a bon of phone. You could have an e-sim. An e-sim. You can have two numbers on the same line, on the same phone.

Did you know that? When I go to Malaysia, I have my Malaysian number. I'm not joking. Is that what drug dealers do now? They don't even have the second phone. They don't even have a second phone. You can have two numbers on one line.

Slay. And you could give them that number because then they'll never find you. Good. I like this a lot. Yeah. And I think what it is, it's not about not, you know, oversharing. That can't be helped.

I say what I say. How we make a living. It's more about sussing. the ones that you want to be like a little, like you want to incubate first. Yes. And the ones that you don't care about. Because I think some of them,

like they don't know what's good for them. This is the thing. Once they get to know you and your three dates in and you like them, they won't care. Raw is a good example of this. Raw is a great example. He didn't know that he was going to love being famous.

Yes. And you didn't know. He wasn't to know. And now you have learned him. So you know what to step on and what to step on and la la la. So like I have to fast track that a bit because I don't have nine years of experience with these men. Yes.

But I do have like the ability to like at least pick the ones that I care to be respectful for. I think that you couldn't have been more bounderied and he still had a problem. I know. Well, next time I'm saying, I love you. You're so thin and sexy comment to see you again. Fuck me. Imagine. Imagine.

If you said that. I'm stupidest nights. He's in my limerence. Imagine you're saying that. Oh, is embarrassing. Yeah. This is more important. Right.

And this obviously has to be anonymous because genuinely. we will never work again if I say who this is about. Like this is so deeply disturbing. Babe, don't worry, so many people have had this where it was someone like so inappropriate. Yeah. Yeah. But I had the most aggressive sex stream of my entire life last night.

Did you, like, sorry, this is so graphic. Did you, you know, orgasm? Yes, multiple times. I love it when that happens. Sometimes I get woken up because I've like, well, the most jarring part of the whole dream was that my fucking alarm went off. And you know when you're like,

And then I snooze, desperately trying to go back. And you can't get back there so vividly. And you're trying. You're like, no, no, no, please. I was in such a good place. It was heartbreaking. And I know I will never have that again because now it's in my psyche. But it was about someone, babe, I cannot tell you.

I'll obviously tell you off cam. That is like in the industry and it's like, you know, like a titan. It's just wrong. It's wrong on so many levels. You'll die. You'll die. I can't even say. it with the mic on because it's so embarrassing.

I'm dead. Was he good? Yeah, it was, it was the best sex I've ever had in a sex time. Wow. It wasn't just sex, it was all the bits. Good. Like multiple, multiple bits. I can actually imagine he'd like the bits. And his friend was there. No. But left, and as were you, but you sort of left before.

Before the action started. What a shame. Yeah. Wow. Did you feel weird when you woke up? Obviously. Yeah. Oh, it's a bit of a funny one. Sometimes it's not, I'm waiting for more. might want to happen about Benedict Bridgeton, but the fictional ones, they're harder. Babe. Babe.

Shag your way to the top. Not in your dreams. You need to get out there. It's no good in your dreams. Come on, we could do with some favours. Babe, I know. I'm waiting for you to shag us to the top. You're fucking fanning around with all these

these. What are they going to do? Be! I need commissioners. I know. Runners. Runners. Runners.

We need some grooming. Come on. Runners. Oh, anyway, that's been our week. You've been ill, sis. I have actually been really sick. Last week when I left here, I thought, I'm not well. She was on her knees.

I'm not well. And yeah, I have, honestly, I was meant to do something on Friday. It was like, sis, what you can do for me is go and do something really fucking exciting this weekend. So I don't talk about my dates. Sadly. Sadly. Sadly, I've literally, I genuinely was meant, I had a third. 30th on Friday I didn't even go. I was so unwell. I have watched a lot of TV. Hashtag

what to watch on TikTok. Can I talk about the capture? Yeah. No, because I'm going to watch it this weekend at three in the morning while I was away. Then we can talk about it. It is phenomenal, telly. That's all I'm going to say. I'm excited for you. No Calam Turner anymore. No, babe. He hasn't been in it since series one. We're on series three. I think I skipped series two then. I need to go back and watch. You have to because it's phenomenal. Papua C. Oh wait. Maybe I have seen it. this. It's so good. Okay. It's full, all out.

No, only two out. I'm on my knees. I'm gagging. What else have I watched? I finished Peeky Blinders because I realised I never actually watched the last episode. And the film comes out on Friday? 20th, yeah. I'll be, don't contact.

Oh shit. Oh no, I, oh no, I'm going after dinner on Friday. Who with? Jack. Oh yeah. Who with? Why've got plans outside of me? What's happening?

So I watched that. I watched this. Okay, many documentaries. I watched a documentary about Rupert Murdoch. Ficked. Do you know how much he fucked over his own children? He basically, watch it, to be honest, because it basically is succession in real life,

but arguably worse because they're actually, you know, blood. And he really does, like, screw over his three children and just, like, picks his favourite son and just gives him, like, his billion-dollar empire. I can't believe that people actually do that. Isn't it? They all went to court and stood up there and testified against their character.

And, like, his dad was, like, asking his son, what have you ever achieved in your life that hasn't related to me? in court. Wow. So that was that. Hardcore. Then I watched the new OZem Pic documentary. Oh yeah, I saw that on Netflix.

I didn't watch it. It's interesting actually because it does give like obviously, you know, OZNPic is fud because everyone that doesn't need it is on it. Sure. But it is actually now there's, is it actually about how, like, obviously the whole thing is about like weight loss and la la la la la. But now they've discovered that it's like really, really preventing Alzheimer's. I know.

And obviously they didn't intend to cure Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's, but now they found this like miracle drug. So that was interesting. Then I watched this documentary not finished about how plastic in our lives is basically making everyone infertile. And there are these people that lived, like changed everything in their homes for three months to like wood, metal and glass. And they got pregnant overnight. And they'd been struggling. Yeah. It's wild. Do you sometimes think, I don't know the science on this, but don't you think there's loads of like stories about people that really couldn't get pregnant? And then when they like change something like almost placebo, then they can.

Yeah, but I do also think plastic does, like, plastic is bad. Someone was, I read this thing that was like, you have the amount of, like, plastic to make a toothbrush in your body. Like, if you counted up all the microplastics in your body. It's like really, really bad. We all have it. It's basically impossible now to get rid of it. And to escape.

Yeah. It's like trying to eat whole foods anyway. It's like almost impossible. They're setting us up to fail. Basically, yeah. Oh, we need to tell you about the last one laughing. Tori, I went back to watch the first season. I think after season two is better.

Yes. I genuinely do. I think it's amazing, but I almost think like there's something even about like Bob Mortimer coming back and like the fact that they know how to play now. Well, like in the beginning there, it's like just a joke. Yes. Five minutes in, they're laughing. They're laughing.

Yeah. Whereas this time they've all gone to play. Yeah. But there's some underdogs that are like, like everyone thinks Alan Carr's going to be out in five minutes. But actually he's like phenomenal. I can't wait. I'm going to binge something like two seconds. Oh, it's so good.

Yeah. Right. You can join us in part. two for our galley voice notes. Okay, welcome back. What should we call the galley's this week? Well, we best call them. What's the man's name in the capture? God only knows. Her name's Rachel. Great, let's have Rachel. Great. What do you do for work, Rachel? Nothing at the moment, I'm lazy.

Sorry, I was watching BBC breakfast this morning as I was doing my 12-minute ab worker, which is me done for the day. Get it, girl. H and Callum Scott have got a new song. They were on the fucking BBC breakfast sofa. I thought he looks so funny as well because H and Callum Scott. Yeah, they've got a new song. I think it's in, I think it's like for the Down syndrome charity for Gracie. But I have to say, obviously, you know, no defamation to the BBC.

They're very serious on breakfast. Yes. And it's not the place for H and his blue sunnies and his chains. Because H was like having a lull about how the fact that Gracie prefers Callum over H and how like the only song she won't listen to of Callum Scott is this new song that he's on. And H was like, oh yeah, it's taken a lot for us to sit on their sofa together.

And they like, the two hosts, I don't know what the guy's name. They were like, oh no, no, that's not true. We just saw you having a lull and I thought, guys, it's a joke. Oh, no. It was a joke. I think you missed that.

Nothing was a new joke being missed. They were like, oh no, don't worry. We saw you in the green room, you know, having a little laugh. But why are they doing breakfast as their press round for a song? Maybe they have a full day. And I guess because it's a charity. I bet you today. KISS Capital,

one, radio one, one extra. They're doing the rounds. I can't wait to listen. It's a good song actually. Brilliant. Okay, let's hear our first voice note from Rachel. Hey, girlies. I'm such a huge friend of the podcast.

We were at your live show last year and it was amazing. We loved it. I hope there's more to come. I don't necessarily have a dilemma, but I would just love to hear you guys's opinion on this. I'm almost 28 and I've been with my partner for like 11 years now.

We've grown up together. Oh, Jesus. And I think he's wonderful. I'm his biggest fan. It's all fantastic and wonderful. But I'm just feeling the massive like marriage engagement pressure at the minute. And I don't know if I know anyone who has this same kind of opinion as me, which is that I just don't know if it's for me.

And I don't know if it's because I've been just consuming so much of it on my Instagram and socials at the minute. Like it's everywhere I look. But it just seems like kind of a bit cringe and a bit overdone. I don't know if I necessarily see myself as someone who doesn't get married. that feels like quite a statement, quite a line in the sand. So I don't know if I identify someone who's never going to get married. And I love the idea of having all my friends in one place and like having a big party.

That seems like a dream come true. And I love all my other friends getting married and consuming wedding content. But I've just never seen anyone do a wedding the way I'd want to do it. And the thought of doing it just makes my bum cheeks clench a bit. I just don't know if I can be bothered. And I don't know if that's a sign that I don't really actually like my boyfriend that much at all. Yeah, I'd love to hear you guys' thoughts on it. Okay, love by.

Oh, God. Babe. Babe. I have much, much to say on this because I think for a couple of years there, probably about your age, she's 28, right? Yeah. I had the same way, thought, oh, it's so embarrassing to get married. Because I agree, everyone, listen,

the problem with Instagram and TikTok is that everyone has the same wedding. And I totally agree. I had this whole thing of, like, I still have this whole thing of like, I don't want any stuffiness. Like it has to be basically a party and it needs to be like, basically all the rules have to go out the window.

So number one, I would say, I don't think it's about the fact that you don't like your boyfriend. I think it might just be your like, you know, what is that? Like fatigue of seeing it on Instagram and TikTok, which I, by the way, also, I think most people have that even if you're single. It's everywhere.

You can't escape it. Yeah. Also, I think there's something in the like, you can know that you want to do it your way and you don't want all of like the trends or whatever's in vogue. But I think... The donut walls, fucking hell. The donut walls, the, like, perfect pictures,

the fireworks, the two dresses, the location wedding. No, it's not even... For me, it's like that someone the other day was saying how stressed they were about the colour of their candles on the table and I thought, babe, I'm ever so sorry. No one will notice. Ask every single guest.

I don't say what colour the candles are. I even think that about the food. Have you ever remembered any wedding food? No. No. No. Just that it's normally slow and a bit lukewarm. It doesn't matter.

The only thing people remember is the party. Yeah. I just think you can know that you want to do it differently, but I think the worry is that you're going to get a bit like caught up in it. Yeah. And then you're going to end up having a day that you never really wanted. Yes. Especially because, listen, I know this.

It's very political. Family and... Yeah. Yeah. Especially if, you know, if your parents on either side are contributing, then they feel like they have a right to dictate your day. And it's like, no, no, no, this is my wedding.

The one thing I will say before we actually talk about weddings is that I think as the daughter of a divorce lawyer, the one thing I would say is that if you want to have children with someone, you should be married to them because it protects you legally. I don't know all the rights. I just know that my mum has always said to me, if you, like, let's say, for example, you have children and you stop working for a,

a bit because you raise your kids. If you are not married, you have absolutely no legal right to any of his money if you then decide to separate. Even though, like, obviously that's not fair because you gave up your career to raise your children, you legally, they don't have to give you anything. So like purely from a legal standpoint, even if you go to the registry office and then have a dinner. And that's it.

Yeah. For the sake of like, you know, being married to someone and the rights that it gives you and the like protection genuinely that it would give you in a divorce, got like God willing, obviously, you never get there. But I just, like, my mum has just always instilled at me. Like, if you're going to live with someone, it's the same if you buy a house with someone and you're not married, it's really complicated to get, like, 50-50.

Even when you're married, you don't get 50-50. So, like, imagine how hard it is to get any money out when you're not married. And also, I think, like, when you're not religious and you're also looking at weddings that aren't about the actual wedding anymore, or about the marriage, they're about the wedding. Yes. I think it's hard to find your. reason why other than the fact that you want a wedding but if you're looking at weddings that you

don't want you're like wait why are we doing it so it's like good to remember that there actually is like a legal binding and that actually there's something really like important about that when you're building a life with someone to yeah protect yourself yeah and like there are many many like I don't have them off the top of my head but you know they've been drilled into my head all my life get Sheila on the blow up you could go and look up like genuinely a hundred reasons why it's better to be legally married to someone than just to cohabit. And also, like, my mom has this whole thing that I think it is genuinely something like almost 50% of couples in the UK cohabit, but they're not married. Really? Yeah, it's really high because people don't know. They really think that,

like, being, if you're with someone for 25 years, it's the same. It's not the same. It's really not the same. And, like, so many women have been, like, really fucked over by also, like, custody, like, anything financial. Like, it's just really beneficial to be married. If, obviously, they're the right person. Yes. You know, as someone that also went through that phase of being like, I could have a baby before I get married, la, la, la, la. I do think, in quite a romantic sense, there is something about committing. It's different. When you take a vow and you, like, commit to spending your life with someone, you can't just walk away. You have to, like, really go

through quite a lot of fath to leave them. And so, I think it's a really special and romantic thing to do that to commit that to someone forever and at the crux of it like if you get rid of all of the BS about the like venue

and the flowers and the donut wall and the martini tower and the fucking whatever the fuck like it is an opportunity as you say to celebrate your love with your loved ones that's like genuinely it And I think you can do that in whatever way you want.

You don't need to be embarrassed about the fact that you're not spending thousands and thousands of pounds or the fact that it's not big or the fact that it doesn't look like other weathering. You can wear red if you want. You can go in a suit. You can literally hire out a village hall. You can do it at your house. It actually doesn't matter how you do it. Holy Morris wants to do it at centre parks, guys.

You can do whatever the fuck you want. This is it. You really can. And like this, but you have to rid yourself of the embarrassment. Yes. And like probably. try and mix up you for you page. And, well, this is my two things.

Number one, like, you can train your algorithm, guys. We're both really good at this. Last week, G was in the musical theatre hole. And I went on there, I thought, why the fuck? All I wanted to know about was legally blonde. But when it comes round to planning my wedding, don't get me wrong, I'll be on there. Yes. And I, by that, like, I really can't.

Listen, I'm not planning a wedding. I know in my mind, it's going to be an uphill battle because everyone's going to have an opinion. So you also have to be, like, aware. You've got to be strong-minded of what you want. And you have to say, to everyone in your life, you know, parents, guys, it's not about you. It's, I know everyone thinks it's about themselves. Everyone in my life thinks it's about everyone. It is actually just about me and what I want. Tell them individually, sit them all down. I will have to do that. I know I will have

to do that. You and your partner. You and your partner. And I will really, really strive. Like, I always said on the first night of my wedding, I would want to wear a red dress because that's what like Eastern brides wear. People were a couple, and everyone, I want everyone to wear white. Everyone else would to wear white and I'll be in red. Slay. Or like, just there are so many things that you can do that make the best weddings I've ever been to are really personal. Personal, yes. It's not about the espresso martini tower and the fucking wedding cake that's taller than like someone.

It's not. It's about the little notes on the seats or like just the speeches. They're my favourite part of the whole wedding. But also it's like feeling, you know, when you go to a wedding and you feel like, oh, you guys really. Love each other. Yeah, and you guys really want to be here. Yeah. This is how you really want to celebrate your day.

Like, that genuinely doesn't matter what that is. I've been to so many different weddings that are like, you know, really small or really big. Or it doesn't really matter as long as it feels true to the couple at the centre of it. Otherwise, it's just another wedding. Do you know what I mean? Completely agree. We were saying this about Aesios yesterday. Once you look at one, it's all it shows you.

And it's like, I didn't actually want to see this. Yeah, I didn't actually mean that. I don't actually want to wear caprice. I just got confused for one second. Not being shown me as Capri Coords. Yeah. I don't want to do that. Yeah.

Yeah, that's exactly it. Good luck, babe. Good luck. Hope you gets down on one knee so that you can, you know, plan the wedding of your dreams. And also, I just wanted to say we were just talking about live shows this morning. So hopefully, fingers crossed. Oh, yeah, sorry, fingers crossed. See you with your wedding plan.

Yeah, imagine. Great. Brilliant. Now it's time for an email, Rachel number two. Hi, girls. Just to say first, my boyfriend is honestly amazing and I love him so much. Always got a preface with that. It's important.

But there's something that's been on my mind, and I'm not sure if it's a red flag or just something we need to work on. Uh-oh. Over the past year, I've gone freelance, and I'm now building it into a business. I absolutely love it, and it's given me so much purpose,

but it does mean I work a lot, late evenings and weekends included. I'm really driven by it and get so excited about the small wins. My boyfriend, on the other hand, has a 9-to-5 job that he switches off from completely when the day ends. He's not particularly one.

work-driven, which has never been an issue, but it does mean we're on quite different wavelengths when it comes to careers. Sometimes when I share exciting opportunities, his first reaction is a bit pessimistic, pointing out what could go wrong. He says it's just to manage expectations, but I'd love a bit more encouragement first. Recently he told me he worries I'm a bit too obsessed with work and that he sometimes feels neglected. Oh, this is bad. We're planning to move in together this summer and I guess I'm worried our different paces might cause tension. I understand And I probably am a bit obsessed and working too hard at the minute. But I'm genuinely passionate about what I am building and I truly believe that if I put in the work,

I can have the life I have always dreamed of and I want him to be there with me. How can I frame this conversation with him? Is this a huge red flag? I really don't want to feel like I have to sit on the sofa and watch TV as soon as it hits 6pm every single day. Sometimes I want to work until 9pm but I know he'll want me to switch off. Babe, I want to hug you so much because I really, really, I feel so proud of you, first of all, because we can both resonate with this. We're obsessed with working.

And I really hate how sometimes it is villainised because it's like if you have a dream and you are so passionate about something, what a beautiful way to live. Like, not everyone has that. And if you have something that gets you out of bed in the morning, like, thank God. Well, also, sometimes I think there's this whole thing about

when it's coming from you, everyone thinks or well you've got the control to turn it off whereas if your partner's boss was like I need this done by tomorrow and he stayed up till nine doing it he'd be like well I don't have a choice

so he would justify it where I don't know whether this happens it's just an example but I just think sometimes when you're self-employed there it is a little bit harder to like make people understand why the pressure is on that much because you're the one doing it

but if you don't do it, then you know no one else will. So you have to almost be your own boss as if there was that big character that was like, get it done. That's just what you're doing for yourself. But people can be more critical of that, I think, because they're like, you can also take the pressure off. Just like full stop. I've read this thing once.

It was like, people who have achieved more than you will never criticise you, something like that. Basically, like, it's only people that kind of have less work, less, are the people that are looking at you and like, oh, well, you know, she neglects her boyfriend and she, fuck them. Fuck them. But I will say, I don't think it's a red flag that he's raised these things. I do think it's a red flag. I think it might be an issue long term. Yeah, but it is a conversation to be had because I do also think on the flip side, there's like only so long that you can feel like someone's second and I think...

But this is, I don't even know, she hasn't even said he feels second. She just doesn't like that she's working. But I'm guessing that's because he feels like, like, deprioritized. Yes. So I think if you can make, if you can hear his cry and make the time to make him feel that he is your priority and you're doing this for the two of you and for your future, then you have legs to stand on. are really neglecting your relationship.

That is something to address and look at because no one can expect someone to be there when you've ignored them for a year. Also guys, I can really attest to this because like we work stupid. It's, I mean like many, every time I see Nige, I go, she goes house where I go, yeah, well like ships in the night. She said you've been saying we've ships in the night

for the last five years. Yeah. Yeah. Sadly, yeah. No, but I think you have had to learn the bits that are important. Definitely. And the bits that are non-negotiable where you prioritise him over anything. else. And also, I just, I think, I think this thing about priority is actually a little bit

too, um, binary. Kind of. Because like, I think we're thinking about priority in terms of like, lots and lots of time. But I actually think, like, for example, Rural and I had this whole conversation because also, it's different because Rool's like us. Yeah. He works like a dog. He does the same. Yeah. But I would find it and I can really sympathize with you because I know I would find it difficult if I was being made almost to feel guilty for the fact that I really loved what I do because it's like that's the fire inside of me and I don't want you to, I don't want anyone to ever put that out inside of you because that's you and like that is the most important thing in your life, you know, like genuinely. And also your belief in it is the thing that will

make it work. Definitely. So like you have to keep that. But like for example, Rour and I would get to the end of the week and I would honestly feel like I didn't know anything about his week. So like now, for example, we used to sit down and watch TV when we had dinner. Because like, we get home, we're both really stressed. We just kind of don't want to talk. And now it's like forcefully making a point to sit opposite each other rather than next to each other. Like, it can be that small and have a conversation. Like, you know, guys, our day, sometimes our day's not very exciting.

It's like, oh, yeah, we're boring stuff. Or like, we'll watch TV in bed. Now we will always turn the TV off 15 minutes before. were actually meant to turn the lights off and just lie there, no phone and just like, I couldn't even tell you what we spoke about. Boring, boring stuff. I don't know, my toenails along or like, whatever.

It's boring, but it's just like human connection that can really easily get lost in translation when you're both busy or when one of you is really busy. And my point is just like, I think quality time is too like broad and like this whole thing of like, you're prioritising work over me. It can be that small. Or it can be like, you might have one day a week, babe,

where you make him dinner and that will make him feel like the most special man in the world. I would always endeavour to do. Even if I'm fucking knackered and all I want to do is have salmon and peel our eyes. For myself. Yeah. One portion. I will make the effort to do that because I'm like, I know he would feel really cared for if I did that. I'm not saying you need to definitely, you don't need to not work and you don't need to not get obsessed.

But I think there might be tweaks that you could make. that would make him feel like, oh yeah, maybe on this one day of the week, she really thought about the fact that I'd love to sit and have dinner together. Yeah. And actually, like, it's, it's, you can have both. You just have to be conscious in both. Like, you have to consciously work and you have to consciously be in your relationship so that neither passes you by.

And if there's a conversation you need to have with him about what is it that you don't like, then you can get to the root of it. Because if he's like, I don't like that you, like, I don't know, like, if he finds your ambition intimidating. I was just about saying this is an issue. He's never going to say that. But you can deduce that if you have a conversation about it. Well, if you make the effort to make him more of a priority and he still has an issue,

different. Different. Yeah. Because maybe he doesn't want to be with someone who prioritises work over a relationship and a home. And then that's different. I think sometimes, listen, hashtag not all men and I really don't want to generalise. But I do sadly think there are some men that have an issue. Not some men, quite a lot of men.

And I would say this with my chest, that there are quite a lot of men that do have an issue with ambitious women. Full stop. For sisters doing it for themselves. Kind of, yeah, because they don't want to feel, it is, I'm not a man, but I can imagine it is emasculating. So that's what you've got to figure out. Is it a fundamental Like moral issue? Exactly.

Or is it just, he's like, no, I just literally feel like like you never even look in my direction. You care more about work. Fix, you can fix that. Easy. That's an easy fix. Fine. That's not a red flag.

Yes. At all. But if it's not that, yeah, then it's a red flag for you. Also, that you can't fix that. No, you can't change that. And neither should you because there's loads of people out there that will have the same moral compass as him.

You don't need to change yourself. He can be with someone that has that. Fine. No worries. The other thing I just wanted to. say sometimes when I share exciting opportunities, his first reaction is a bit pessimistic pointing out what could go wrong. This, this, okay, there are also two ways to look at this. Number one, you can just say, maybe you're not doing this intentionally, but I feel like

sometimes when I share something really exciting, your immediate response is to point out all the things that go wrong and maybe you're just doing that because you're trying to like future proof me, but I receive that as like you're not excited. for me. That's a whole conversation in and of itself. That is different if he's just hates it. Like, do you what I mean? Like, there is nothing you can do. Yeah.

If he just hates the fact that you've got exciting stuff and he doesn't. Yeah. But I have had this conversation, not that all is pessimistic, but sometimes because he doesn't get it, he doesn't ask the right questions. And I'm like, what do you? Like, even yesterday, he was so funny because he was like, how was the shoot? And I was like, yeah. And then I was showing him all the pictures.

He was like, oh, so you bought loads of clothes. And I was like, no, no, no. there were stylists but like as in I find that quite endearing but maybe before like I can see because he's before he wouldn't have asked because he doesn't know what to say

and then I have said to him when you don't ask me questions it feels like you're not interested in it he said to me it's not that I'm not interested I just don't really know what to ask yeah fix and even if he asked me the wrong question I don't know he asked one yeah he's interested

yeah he's trying to understand so that that is fixable if it's like something if it's an issue like that but if it's more that he's like I hate that you're busy and all this exciting stuff is happening and there's nothing going on in my life. That's really different.

And that's different. And he needs to look within. And as to you to see whether like, you know, it's hard. Listen, that is, I don't know what the outcome is here, whether it's A or B. But if it is that, that is really, really hard to navigate. Yeah. Like, you know, there's only so much you can say. And also, I just really feel so passionately that you should never have.

to dim yourself for someone else because they feel maybe a bit insecure about themselves because of you. Yeah. And like the one thing that, you know, you should do is like hustle. And if that's what gets you up, then that is like so many people wish they had that. So I don't want you to lose that because of him. No. And you need to, you need to assess the fact whether he can be supportive of you and that that

can be a part of your relationship or whether that's constantly going to take from you because you want it to add. You always want your relationship to add. And you definitely want them to feel excited for you. Yeah. Like really. Because like, you know, I mean, really, if you win, they win. If I get rich, you get rich. Sure what I mean. Exactly. I don't understand what the problem is here, my friend. No. So as long as you're on the same page and you can feel that you're both like, like, also that it's not an elephant in the room and that you're addressing the fact like, I get I'm busy. So I've done dinner. And that's enough whilst you're in this like hustle stage.

Or like even stuff like I'll say to rule like because he'll want to watch TV for example and I'll be like I've got to do this. I won't even say that now. I'll be like yeah, yeah, let's watch. I'm not watching. Fine. I'm not watching. I'm on my laptop.

I'm editing something on my phone. It doesn't matter. He thinks I'm sat there with him. That's all that it is. Yeah. Find a way to do though. Find a fix. Genuinely.

Or like when he's brushing his teeth, I'll do my little bits. Yes. He doesn't know. Always do that little bits. Little bits. Yeah. Yeah. If you can find a way, I think we've done this with Raw and Holes to make it also benefit them.

Like, are there, involve them? Are there anything? Yeah. That they could genuinely benefit from it. Because I have a friend that has a partner who owns a business and it's very all-consuming. Yes. And I think for a while in the beginning, all she wanted was recognition that it was only really bad for her. as the supportive party,

because she wasn't reaping any of the benefits of him working 24-hour days, and all she felt was disconnected from him. And I think as soon as he stopped trying to pretend that that wasn't the case. That wasn't the case. I think she was like, okay, thank you. Yeah.

Cool. And now when it does pay off, I'll feel like I was involved in getting you there. Well, you can also say, I know it's really jarring. I understand that my ambition takes up a lot of room in this space, in our relationship. I know that. I'm not going to change it.

Sure. But I do know that. It's not that I'm not aware of it. So like I appreciate you and everything that you do. And also I marvel at your ability to relax. I just can't do it. Say that. You never know.

That might change something. True. Good luck, babe. Good luck. Well done. Proud of you. That's not easy. Here it is.

It's our favourite segment where we get to talk to the galleys directly. Thank God. It's time for the galley gossip. Okay, we have got an email from Kitty about being the family favourite from the episode, G's first date in month and he did what with the fore? Quick question about the favoured child, Sitch. Me and my older sister are the only grandchildren and as equal as we are treated, I'm the favourite, despite being the mentally ill, therapies, pierced tattooed and smoker. Oops. From two icons who aren't the favourite grandchildren, how can I make my sister feel like she's valued as the favourite favourite?

even though she's well earned her right. You can't. You can't. Grandparents can't be swayed. They think what they think. I'm so sorry to, you know, get all heart on. The whole fucking point of being the favourite is that you're the favourite. Just enjoy it.

Do you know what I mean? Revel in it. Competition is healthy and I hate it when these parents be like, no, no, you're all my favourite. No, we're not. No. We're just not. And it's okay to be second best. Yes.

Especially with your grandparents because I feel like, oh, they're just all so, like grumpy and they've decided what they've decided many years ago for no reason whatsoever. This is the thing, you're not the ideal candidate yet you're still the favourite. So just be the favourite. Revelyne it, my sis. Your poor sister, let her make a joke about the fact that she's not, let her get away with certain things. I was just about to say, don't buy her a Christmas present. Good. Good. You're saying, save some money where you can.

And also, sorry, as an older sister who, I think you can get the money from your grandmother. and boast about it. I don't think there's anything wrong with that. Did you hear my cousin, Hannah? And she sent me money for my night out. Yeah, yeah. I ran money for a night out in my life. I'm not jealous, I think.

You go sleigh. Well, the good thing about not being the favourite is that you really can fuck up and they don't really look at you. Well, also, I don't even ring my grandmother anymore. Yes, off the hook. Let Hannah cool. Fine.

Good. Good. Good. So don't worry about it, babe. Don't worry about it. Let your sister suffer. If you've got something to say to us, then please send a DM on Insta or drop us a comment.

on YouTube or Spotify to be featured in next week's episode. Okay, this is Quickfire. What we loved and didn't love from this episode. What we loved, Ali's inappropriate sex dream, soz. What we loved getting married for financial protection. What we love, Pinsters. Anything can happen in that private Instagram. What we love burner numbers.

Yes, yes. What we love actually not being the favourite grandchild, controversially. Love. What a freeing one. way to live. Amen. What we love, boss bitch is doing it for themselves. Yes. Hustlers. Hustlers. What we didn't love, not going to off menu. Didn't love. What we didn't love donut walls. Didn't love. If I go to a wedding and a dog with, I will leave. I will actually leave or I'm sorry and I know, you know, maybe some people that have, of the listing have had this.

Take a shot and find your spot. That makes me gag. It makes me sick. What do you mean? I don't want a shot. And I don't want to find my spot. I don't want to rhyme anymore. What we didn't love. Seating charts at weddings.

Oh, don't love. What goes to show your heads when you do that? I just think how much, I always say, it's an indication of how much that bride hates you. I've had some good tables to be fair and I've thought around and I've thought, good. She likes me. You haven't been to that many weddings.

Wait till August. I'm never going to have that many weddings because. I don't have many friends, number one, and number two, I don't have a partner. I always think that's where your wedding's double. It's a hack, be single. Yeah, I was going to say, thank God. Yeah, thank God. Didn't love my Aesos algorithm only showing me caprice.

Didn't love. I would say didn't love my inappropriate sex dream. Oh, I loved it. That made my morning. Loved it in the moment, didn't love it, you know, bouncing back to reality. You've got the weird shame. I've got the weird shame. I'm doing the walk of shame now. Yeah, it's like the actual shame you get when you're.

sleep with something you shouldn't have done. You've got it like metathorically. Didn't love insecure, inadequate, dull, boring men. Didn't love it. Despite, I was more than didn't. I fucking hated it. Amen. In your case and in Rachel No. 2's case. Yes. I'm sorry, I don't want to call your boyfriend inadequate, dull, boring and insecure. But, you know, if I were to summarize, that is the thesis that I would draw. Didn't love G's dates. Listening.

What are you doing here? It's not for you. This is definitely not for you. You've got my direct line, boys. Just give me a text if you want a voice note. Do you know what I mean? If you're lacking attention, here I am. Okay?

I can give you some attention. Oh, jarring. Right, everyone. Please let us know what you loved or didn't in this app by commenting on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you are listening. If you've got a story or a dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send us a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-617992 or click the link in the episode.

description and it'll take you straight there. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com. Bye! Thank you so much. Love you to you next week. Bye!