Leave A Message with Ally & G - The Best Of The Brits & He’s A FAST FINISHER?!

Episode Date: March 11, 2026

It’s safe to say Ally and G had a very good night at the BRITs, partying alongside a Manc Britpop legend. Rubbing shoulders with the celebs was one thing… but did G also spot her future man across a Mark Ronson–filled dancefloor? Plus, one Gally is struggling to trust her man because of his sordid past AND another Gally’s bedroom activities are finishing a lot quicker than she planned. FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Ali and G will be here in just a moment. There's more unfiltered chat that you only get from best friends over on the girls' bathroom. From blowdry tips for that extra va-va-voom to advice on what to do when your partner still hasn't ditched his ex's engagement ring. Nothing's off limits. When you finish this episode, search for the girls' bathroom and get that show lined up to play next. Welcome back to another episode of Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in need,

and we spill the tea. March tea to spill this week. So whether you're using a fork to dislodge a vibrator... Well, you think you're in love with every man you meet at a bar. Well, how apt. This is the podcast for you. I did fall in love on Saturday night, twice, actually, didn't I, babe? Refer back to last week when I said,

when she says, I fall in love, I love him, I think I love him, I'm in love. Bucket of salt, everyone. All right. When I saw that man, I literally looked at your... and I was like, sis, I'm going in. I've never shark so heavy in my life. I've beeline for him. And then Al had to go to the bar and just get me a drink

because I was like so locked in on my pursuit. Right. So backtrack a bit. Yeah, sorry. Brits. We went to the Brits and we hosted the Sony after party and it was wild. We've got much tea, but we're going to have to speak in tongues because, you know, we would like to continue working in the industry for the next 40 years.

Do you know what I mean? So in a dream while we wouldn't defame anyone on here. But we also like to be transparent and we like to share with you. So girls clock in, you know. The girls. Yeah, look alive. Look alive. Think outside the box. Stay with us.

In the lines. Yes, exactly. What you need to know is Cat Burns is as amazing as you want her to be. Yes. And she genuinely might be one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen in my life. You're so cute in that video. She walks over Cat Burns and Al literally looks around and goes, you are so beautiful. No, she is.

I was flawed. We've met her before, but I just, really was take, my breath was taken away. Because she's so chill and like ethereal and like funny without meaning to be. Like she's phenomenal. 10 out of 10. 10 out of 10. Also they hard launched on the carpet.

I saw her girlfriend. Really cute. Really good. Sharon Osborne, everyone's going to want to know about Shazza. Guys, she's five foot. No, no. If that. If that.

If that. Actually, maybe less, she was wearing a heel. Oh my God. She, guys, she is so fucking. cool. I can't explain to you. She just oozes cool. Imagine living that much of a life. Yeah. She's lived five, six, seven lives in one. And she's so nice. Oh, and I just want to hug her and say, I'm so sorry that Ozzy isn't here with you. I love her. I know. I know. Oh, and they had to do that whole, like, think, she'd had a really heavy night. I know. She's a lifetime award and stand up there and watch Robbie Williams sing and then she had to come and see us. And she was so sweet. She was so sweet.

Wow. And like didn't, like normally sometimes, sometimes people, you know, they can't wait to get out of there. Oh, many times. She would have stayed. It was just that her team were actually pulling her away, but she was deep. She was deep in it. She was, and she was looking up at us as if we were saying important things. Both of our mom's text us being like, gosh, she's as tiny isn't she?

Yeah, yeah, it made us look like giants. I mean, to be fair in heels, Al and I are giant. Giants. We should think about that because we're... No, no, I think it's funny. I really do. We're so tall. We were literally, I was looking, I had neck pain.

Was age taller than us? Yeah. Age is tall. Has everyone seen the comments on the videos? I was not flustered. It is funny. In the beginning you were a little flustered. I was not flustered.

You were, you asked him something like, you were like, you smelled out. And then you were like fluffing your feather bow and I thought, lo! I was not flustered. It's giving flustered. I was not flustered. That's what people say. I know age Man like age

He's my homie You know I just wanted to know about his mom And his sisters We didn't even ask about his sisters You know Also we got given a coffee this morning That was the size of a thimble

I know It's a joke Who drinks those Sometimes You could be 65 Do you know that I feel 65 I woke up today

I thought Ah That's really good Size of a Thimba I literally forgot what a thimble was until you just said it then I had to rack my brain and I thought that is tiny tiny tiny tiny um sorry so shazza 10 out of 10 10 out of 10 who else would be speak to you jing jin h we know

mates I'm saying not fair mates Sky Newman is a han such a haunuch also no defamation but was no Gallagher really drunk I don't know but when he shook my hand it was like this give me your hand I felt like a queen. I felt like I was Princess Diana and he was meeting me. Oh really? Like this?

Yeah, yeah, like that. He didn't say anything. No, but he was quite cool, wasn't he? He kind of looked excited to be there. He's Noel Gallagher. It was so funny as well because we know an ace and we were like, oh my God, an ace and we were like, oh my God, hugging her. Obviously, her dad is not Gallagher and he stood right behind her and we went. We weren't asked.

We were not asked. We literally went straight for an ace. And then we were like, oh no, sorry. Noel, we want to say hello to you. Oh, no. She said, she said, Noel, these are my friends. Alice, Ali and G. And I thought, wow, I'm having a fever dream because imagine being introduced to Noel Gallagher as his daughter's friends. I was like, that's not my life. I love that. That is your life? Park life. That's not what I say. Oh, I'll tell you something funny about Noel. You cannot do the oasis blur moment there. Sorry, Noel. I didn't mean that. It was kind of like funny in my head. And then it came out and it wasn't.

No, I'll tell you about Noel. Tell me about Noel. It was for. at four, four, 15 in the morning. Yes. We were wearing the stupidest outfits. Like, not stupidest, sorry.

No, no, we looked amazing. We looked amazing. But like on the dance floor, we really, like there were feathers everywhere. Also, I, by that point, I was meant to, right, so our stylist,

shout at Hannah Beck. She is. A queen. Amazing. Like, also, it feels like an easy job, but the two of us are so different, but we ask her to look the same but different. Yeah.

Like a big job. Anyway, she always gives us these, like, rules for how to stand, how to look in the garment, what not to wear. Like, take those rings off, she'll be like, or like one time. Gee, at the baffters, she had to wear these shoes because the shoes that Hannah gave her was so uncomfortable.

And she was like, don't worry, don't worry. The trousers are long enough, you won't see them. And she said, if I can see them, don't tag me. So she's very serious. And she should be, take such a job seriously. Obviously. Anyway, she taught me how to pose with this feather boa. You know, it's draped.

It's falling from the wrist. It's, you know, it's chic. It's chic. the end of the night I had it wrapped around me like a scarf. So we're on the dance floor

it was also I thought it ended at three it ended at 4.30 so we're on the dance floor and those lights coming on sorry that was the most humbling experience in my life I looked

I looked at Tyler West Barber and I thought I've got to go now I thought I'll just take I'll just take this glove off now that I'm quiet from somewhere

I was so so I was, no, no. Al was gone. I was gone. We were sitting outside talking to Chloe and I really looked at her and I didn't want to say because she actually wasn't that bad which is shocking for Chloe. She really like she coped. She hides it well. But I literally remember thinking I am going to be sick all over your face. And I said to Honey, touch like this. I said, honey, I need to go to the Lou and be sick. We went to the Lou and she was like, patting my back. She was like, sometimes it's just a verb. It's never sick without Al. And it wasn't.

sick. It was just a wretch. The only time you've ever been sick is after that Garnier party. No, it's normally just a wretch. It's just too much air in that cavity, in that lung cavity. She does something so funny. She literally just bends over the toilet. She goes like this.

It's much better now. It's just air. Uh, it's really so much better now. And then she just gets, she goes, really good to witness. Also, I came back. Did I?

Oh, no. Oh, were you sick at Lammes? No, I wasn't sick. Same thing. But I came back and we were standing with like, oh, it was so embarrassing, actually. I came back. And it was like you, Chloe, Tyler,

yeah, Molly. Yeah. And then you were like, you were like, were you like, were you just sick in front of everyone. I was like, no, no, no, I wasn't sick. You were like, me, we're just sick. Like, were you just sick? I was like, no, no, no, it was just a wretch. And then Chloe was like, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Sometimes you just got to get it out. Yeah, everyone knows. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, I think normalised, you know. Normalise, retching, I agree. But we were on the dance for all 415 and G was like throw, like, had her feather bow, like in the air. And Noel's obviously trying to get from.

one side of the room to the other. And when I say, guys, he was in the, he was like trying to get past her, but we're like, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, ba, blah, blah, and he's like this. Day and night. Yeah. I just don't turn out of just go sleep. And it was just like, walking across, like, just like moving away. Smucked in the face by my feather by one. Mark Ronson, for me was a fever dream. When he played Valerie, I literally, it was wild. It was amazing. So many of my friends DM me being like, this is fucking cool. And I was like, no, no, guys. I know. It was beyond cool. I know. It was too cool. Also, Al and I, like, we got so emotion because we actually, the carpet was like really chaotic.

Not even, it wasn't even really a carpet. The interviews were really chaotic. And then afterwards, like, you just, like, have so much adrenaline. Yeah. And then you're drinking. We kept looking at each other being like, don't say anything because we'll cry. Okay? Then we just like dance a bit more. And then we'd be like, no, no, don't say it, we'll cry. But really, we were just having the time of our lives. So yeah, it was wild. It was wild. And I did find a sexy man.

So what should I do now? So basically I followed him. Didn't get the follow back straight away. He was sitting on it, playing it cool. He was thinking about it. Maybe he was a work, babe. Some people actually have day jobs. What is a day job?

And then, anyway, now he's followed me. Now what do I do? Do I DM him? Yes. Let's craft a message now. Okay. What should I just say? Hey.

No. No. Why don't you say? Is he what would you say? You'd say I wouldn't say it at 10.30 on a Tuesday morning. That's crazy me. I would. Well, it needs to be late night.

So wait, what's the contact? How did you meet this man? Okay, so I basically, shout out Larry King. Larry King was at the AP. And I saw Larry King walking with this 10 out of 10. I don't know how else to explain him. Fit, bit of me. I think B-line.

So I see Larry. I think Larry, who's your friend? I don't think I said hello to Larry. I said Larry, who's your friend? And he was like, oh, that's X. You'll know him from X. I was like, sleigh, sleigh. He was like, do you want me to introduce you?

And I was like, yes, Larry, I do. He introduced us. And then I just like chewed his ear off for half an hour. I need to give some context here because I then went to get to you a drink and came back. And then they sort of, you know, wrapped it up. And we were walking away and she said, God, he's so dull. That is what happened, babe.

I don't know. What if he listens? I'm trying to get a shout-hag. It can be anyone. You can be talking about anyone. He's not... You think he's listening to this. You need to fucking check yourself, sis.

Check yourself before you wreck yourself, guys. My God. I love it when we say it as well, like, sorry, you know, Sharon if you're listening. Sharon or something's never going to fucking listen. Fair. He will never listen to this. of the team or like people that they know like I've had from this sodding podcast I've had DMs from people do you remember yes I do remember from people that should never ever be listening but they're

like a friend of a friend sent me X that you said about me and I'm like oh why don't you DM him there's a week on this for it to come out so let's see how far you get in a week otherwise no worries we'll just let we'll just release it as it is yes fine and we'll just keep that part in about yeah yeah fine fine fine so let's see you've got a limit that's good no no listen he will wasn't dull, but we definitely didn't have rapport. The sparks weren't flying. No, fine. Also, I think he was a bit, like, bewildered by me because I was really drunk and being

really full on. And you were wearing a feather bowler. And I was wearing a feather bower and I had hip pads. You know what I mean? So, like, I think he was a bit like, who is this loony tune? Fair. And it was so funny, because when then Larry came to me and I said to him, leave them alone.

She's at work finding her husband. And he said to me, that's not her husband. Yeah, I don't want him to be my husband. No, no, no, I know that. I'm just saying we did go in thinking. Oh, word, no, I just want one night. One night of lust. Babe, you're going to off menu.

Oh, I don't think that's very lustful. Afterwards could be lustful. You never know. Nothing like sitting in silence next to each other in a dark room. Fair. To, you know, get the juices flowing. You don't know that. I was so funny last night because, like, obviously this guy that I'm going on a date with,

we're like kind of trying to keep the conversation going for two whole weeks, which is agonising. Can I not just say, can I just, you know, floating an idea here, can you not just say let's pin it? Let's put a pin in this. Probably, I do weeks. I think I probably will, but he'd like text me like yesterday morning or something and I like obviously hadn't replied and then we were coming home.

We saw Ray last night, by the way. She was absolutely phenomenal. We were coming home from Ray. It was like, it must have been like quarter past midnight. I was like, Twelfth. Did you text it? Fuck boy. And she was like, no, I think it's sleigh.

Then I like replied. We were stone codding. Yeah, so over. Because we said to the girls, thank you, GHD for taking us to write. No, but if I, honestly, if any alcohol touches my lips, I would be in a girl of brave. We just can't, I'm afraid. We just can't do it. Especially, I saw those bubbles and I thought, no, no, no, I can't. I was tempted by that martini. It did look delicious. Oh, that would have been hard. But today I would have really wanted me to die. I woke up this morning feeling hung over. So imagine if we drank.

Me too. Well, did you text him last night then? Yeah. Did you? Yeah. Let me read, hear the message then. Well, it's nothing exciting. What are we going to say to this guy? This is more important. Okay.

Why don't you say? It needs to be something like about the Brits. Like, what did you talk about? Do you remember anything you talked about? Yeah. We spoke about where he lived. He moves between the UK and America. We spoke about him being in Manchester a lot.

Oh right. scraping the back. We were scraping this is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. We spoke about. Did you get a flirty? Was there actually a flirty vibe? No, like I genuinely don't think he fancied me at all.

Or he was just confused by me. He looked shocked in the whole time. Right. Okay. But I was definitely flirting with him. It's not an ideal. Why don't you say something? Was he drunk?

No. Why don't you say something like? Oh, I said to him, I've lost my friends. I stand with you. I know exactly where my friends were My friends are getting me a drink because I told them to fuck off and leave me alone I told them to leave me

to my business. Why did you say? It wasn't not flirting. Did he say anything about the feathers? No. I don't you say a lot about me actually now I'm thinking back. I was by this point

like five margaritas deep in a penicillin down so I was a bit you know on another planet. You need to say something like just really clearly say like have you like something like have you

have you recovered not that but as in something that remark like jerks his memory okay let me have a thing of a specific thing about him that we spoke about of your conversation on Saturday night rather than just generalist like it don't go general I think you can like make a little quick not like hey no I think if you do it from Saturday night it's been too long

like if I've been thinking about it for that long because you just followed you so I think it's fine but you need to do it today midnight is the expiry and you've got till next Wednesday What if I just say What if you say hey And then what he's going to say hey

And then what are you going to say? I think you're so fair Oh joking joking Imagine if he didn't even like it He didn't even reply He didn't even reply He just double tapped

Because I say hey Okay well listen I'm all for the plot So I'll do it anyway We'll figure it out We'll figure it out Is he you get brainstorming In the meantime

We will continue to endeavour Oh we're going to see The psychic though And she's going to give you some pointers And maybe some specifics Yeah I'm going to see a psychic on Monday about, you know, how to find my husband. I've put her in for next Wednesday as well.

Well done. No, next Monday you're going on for? No, that's you. Says Ali. Oh, okay. Maybe I got confused about what my name was. That does sometimes happen. The amount of events I go to where I just have to be like,

hi, it's Ali Anji, like as if you know, even when I'm alone, it's hilarious. Anything else to tell you? Oh, yeah. So we then finished at 4.30, went home. had mackeys. Heaven. I inhaled those selects. I had, me too, and those mozzarella dippas were the best thing I've ever eaten in my life. Has anyone seen on the new Mackeys menu that now they call them pizza mozzarella dipers? So I think they must be different. They were delicious. They were delicious. Something different must be going on.

Then we had the day from hell. Like I'm not even, that is, I'm not an exaggeration. Guys, who is the mayor of Manchester? Because I need to speak to them. What the hell are you doing? Closing Manchester Piccadilly. It's Andy Barnum. It's a Andy Byrne, that fucking guy. Who's Andy Burnham? Everyone knows Andy Burnham, babe. He just tried to overtake. He just tried to like topple Keir Starver.

Second half of last week is when I started Disney to the News again. So I'm a little behind. I'm catching up. I hear, I understand. I'm saying let's not have people think that. People know Andy Burnham, do they? Everyone in this country knows Andy Burnham, sis. Part from me.

Anyway, Andy Burnham. Why are you allowing Manchester Piccadilly to be closed? On that's one day after the big. event. There was the Brits and man you were playing. Man City? I don't know. Someone was playing. Someone was playing. And we literally, it was hell and horror in Manchester. I had to put my sunglasses on. Famousers everywhere, looking lost. It was a nightmare. Tarly Storm didn't know which way to turn. I've never seen anything like it. She was bewildered that poor girl. I was shocked. Did you see, when everyone else left,

there were many pets picturing them getting in the car. When we left, not one to be bad. Because I was guys shout out to Canon they lent us a camera to use I thought I was hilarious because I was so many tequila's deep I was paping people

and I was going I'm a pap I'm a pap with the flash as we were leaving so no one was going to pat me they thought I was one of them also do you know

that poor not poor man that lovely man Martin who was meant to clock off at three stayed till 4.30 for us The security man. Oh, the car. The driver. No, that was awful. No, no.

I didn't know he was waiting. I didn't know either. I would have said, Martin, on your way, we'll get an Uber. We'll get an Uber. Don't worry. God bless. If you're, Martin, thank you. Sweet Martin. And we were grateful because we got in that car and there was smart water.

No, no, no. Thank God. And I inhaled the whole thing. Really good. So anyway, all in all, it was really fun. Genuinely the best event and slash party we have been to. Yeah. It was unreal.

So congrats to Sony. Shout up being Daisy. Thank you for having us. We've really had the best time. Epic. We'll be back next year. Hope so. Hope so.

Help so. Join us in part two for your galley messages. Can't wait to hear from you. Okay, galleys, welcome back. What shall we call? We best call them Sharon. Sharon, come on. Right, okay, let's start with an email.

Hey, galleys, I need your help. I've been with my boyfriend. Let's call him. Sam for over a year but our start was messy. We began as friends. Then after a drunk uni night it turned into more. I caught feelings fast. He didn't.

He was still sleeping with his ex and ex situation shit while seeing me. Denying it whenever I are. Sorry, ex and ex situation ship. So that's two people he's sleeping with whilst he's also sleeping with her. That seems... How's he got enough hours in the day? I often think this. Why not your lectures?

Often think this. We weren't official but it hurt knowing I wasn't enough for him to choose just me, obviously. Well, yeah. That is hurtful. Four months in, he texted me saying he'd slept with his ex-situationhip the day we had plans. Ooh. Then I found out he'd also slept with his ex-girlfriend. I was heartbroken and cut him off.

Oh, babe. Months later, we found our way back to each other. It felt different, no pressure, and we ended up falling in love. Oh, my gosh. Now, over a year official, we're long distance, really happy and he's an amazing boyfriend. He's given me no reason not to trust him. But I cannot stop thinking about the beginning. I obsess over his past, stalk his exes,

overthinking his body count, re-read old messages. It eats me up and causes most of our arguments. I know his past isn't about me, but I still question, why wasn't I enough then and am now? How do I stop obsessing over his past and move on without self-sabotaging something that's actually good? Many thoughts.

Wow, I've got many thoughts. And also, sorry, pick for a wreck. God, there are, your eyes are unbelievable. I'm telling you, White Walkers. I've never seen anything like that. Oh, he looks like you. You look, your baby, you're so stunning, sorry, number one. But also, he's got such a nice face this man.

Yeah, he actually does look really kind. Can I just say my gut response to this? Yeah. It was never about you. Like, you were perfect then. You're perfect now. He wasn't ready. So it's not about you not being enough.

I'm sure it was never about that. Because he wouldn't be with you now if you weren't enough for him. You clearly are. You probably actually were too good for him at the time. and he wasn't ready to have a girlfriend. You know when like boys, listen, they take, it's a little delayed on their side when they come round to the fact that, yeah.

Or you meet them ready and they don't treat you like that. But that happens. I'm 29 and I'm still meeting men that aren't ready to settle down. And even if in their mind they think they are, they get to the like commitment that it requires to be with someone and they kind of are like, well, change my mind. And I think most people, I know that met their partners when they were at uni

had a very messy start. And it's not about you. It's about the context and the kind of overarching feeling that you probably shouldn't be settling down at that age. And he still had like shit to get out of his system. Like, okay, my friend Faye met her now husband at uni. When I tell you, their beginning, and George, remind me saying this, their beginning was messy.

And Faye was obsessed. Like I remember when they first met in fresh years Faye was like, I've met my husband He would literally not give her the time of day Like he'd literally like avoid her In the like student union Because he was like this girl's obsessed with me Still getting with his exes

Getting with new girls Like and she She did really persevere And once he flipped the switch They've been together What 10 years and they're now married So like I just think If he hasn't treated you badly

Since you've been official you have nothing to worry about. I want to say that I can really, really relate to this because your question is how do I stop obsessing over his past and move on without self-sabotaging something that's actually good? I did that for the best part of three, four years because I have a lot of trauma. God bless.

She's a deep well. I have a deep well and it's too easy. To be honest with you, it's too easy to look back and like, like, you know, do exactly all. Babe, it's like, it's like looking in a fucking mirror. I know. Obsess over his past, stalk his exes,

overthinking his body can, reread all messages. Tick, tick, tick, tick. Like, I've literally done every single one of those things. And also, it used to be, it eats me up, causes most of our arguments. We used to go somewhere and it would be a room full of his, of girls. You knew he'd, like, had a thing with or done bits with,

whatever. And every single time we would have an argument. And it's just like, what advice can I give to you? Yeah, like how did you actually like was it time and you growing and healing? Yeah, okay, number one, it's really coming to a place and this, to be honest, was therapy but also him

of like we all have a past and like everyone has done something with someone that one of us knows. Like every single person has that situation. you really can look at that. Like it's all about where you look. Like if you focus on that, it's all you'll see. But if you look the other way and look at what you have now

and look, see him choosing you every single day, kind of you can almost like make that go away. And like you have to, it's a lot about your own self-worth and realizing that he wouldn't be with me if he didn't really love me and he didn't really want to choose me. And like you, but it's a really conscious thing that you can decide to look there rather than look at the past

and like, you know, also there comes a point where it is just fucking boring like you're having the same argument over and over about stuff that isn't actually happening or really like isn't his fault yeah like it is you know we've all done stuff that we're not proud of and like he's not doing it anymore and like Rawr used to say to me

I don't know really what you want me to say well especially once like especially in this situation I'm guessing he's apologised for the way he treated you initially and for the fact that like you were heartbroken. Yeah. And we always say like have the fight, make them suffer. Agree. But then if you're going to forgive them, your forgiveness has to be true.

Well, this is the thing. If you're going to be with him, decide to be with him and kind of like move on or don't be with him because it's not fair to keep flogging the, and I wish I'd someone had told me this. But like it's actually really, it's hard. You're not really growing as a couple. if all you're looking at is the past, think about all the ways.

Think about all the energy that you spend doing that, that could actually be channeled into doing something positive for your relationship. Also, I used to have to do this. You have to go and block those people so that you can't even look.

No looking. Because it is addictive. And like you go back and you think, like, on that day, I know that he was there and he was... And you're comparing yourself, which again is not helping yourself worth. It's so fucking pointless.

Yeah. Like really. But you have to really do some inward soul searching to, like, you know, sit in your power and think, I am fucking amazing. And if he, like, he's choosing me every day. So like, look there and focus on that. Everyone's got an ex. Everyone's slept with someone that they shouldn't have. Everyone's, I don't know.

Do you know what I mean? Like, there's just, yeah, sorry, that's basically what I want to say. Do you think you guys, do you think it got better once you'd left uni? No, I think it got worse. Really? Yeah, because I literally was like a dog with the bone and I could not let it go. And I really looking back with,

I dragged it out for honestly 18 months longer than I should have. Well, also then you're like lucky when you've got like a really patient partner. Do you know what I mean? But that's not guaranteed. 100%. 100%.

And you like really love him. 100%. And you want to be with him. 100%. You have to cut him some slack. Maybe you just have to put it elsewhere. I think you're looking for like a fix. Yeah.

Or like for some way somehow. For him to like take it back and not have done it. Never going to happen. Don't have a time. machine. Never going to happen. Can't do it.

So find a way to get over it yourself. It's kind of actually also got nothing to do with him. I know. It is actually about you. Yeah. Because also there isn't anything that he can do because he can't undo it. And that is probably the only thing in that headspace when you're picking at it all the time that would fix it. Also, okay, different if you go into a room and like lots of his exes are there or people that he's done bits with or whatever.

And he's going out of his way to like interact with them in an important. appropriate way. Yeah. But in my instance, it was genuinely existing in the same room and I would kick off. And it's just like, can't do anything about that. What's he meant to do? What genuinely. Also, it's so true.

Al's right. It does all come from like a sense of security. Yes. In yourself. Yes. Because once you have that and you know your worth and you know how good your relationship is and you feel really content, that stuff doesn't touch the sides. Also, it is about trust because I think in the beginning maybe you feel like...

You've done it once you can do it again. Yeah. Yeah. So in that sense, time is a healer. True. And all that he can do is continue to show you that he wouldn't do that again. And keep shutting up. Yeah.

So, you know, also if you choose to love someone, you have to give them the benefit of the doubt that they want to prove that to you. If they don't, then that's different. But if he's saying all the right things and doing and behaving the right way in those settings, really that's all that he can do. And like, the rest of the rest of the right thing. is up to you to decide just... I think practically, I was right, you should block all the people that you look at, you don't need to be looking at them,

and every time that you are tempted to pick that fight... Text your best friend. Take it elsewhere. Genuinely, write it on a note, like, text her. Say, babe, I'm going to have the fight with you. Yeah. And I'm going to talk myself into... And I'm going to lose my fucking shit

because this girl is in this room. Yeah. Da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Fine. Great. find that punching bag. If you don't have a friend, do like, you know, voice notes on your phone. That's great.

Rour always used to say to me, I just can't be your punching bag for this. No, because it's not his thing. Unfair. Well, and also there is only so much that you can make someone feel guilty for behaviour that they did if you're choosing to stay with them. Agree. Because the punishment has to end eventually. It's the same with yourself.

Like when you do something or like, you know, like eventually you have to forgive and let go. otherwise you can't, it's so unhealthy. Also, the only person really that suffers long term is you because it's like this heavy weight that you carry around and it's like if you could just find a way to release yourself from it, wow, you're so free from all of these people that affect you. Also, my mum always used to say to this. Like when you do that, you give those people so much power over you.

Who are they? They're nobody's. They are so irrelevant to you in your life. why are you, they've got this like psychological hold over you. Free yourself. Honestly, like if you can find a way to like think of it like this weight that you're carrying around and choose to like leave it at the door or take it off at the party, whatever it is, you will feel it's so freeing to be like, God, none of you honestly can even touch the fucking sides. No.

Really. Don't let them. Don't let them. So yeah, that would be our advice. Good luck, sis. You can do it. You can do it. You can do it.

And it requires. genuinely it requires private self-reflection it does and patience it does it does because also at the root of it maybe you don't quite trust him and that is also okay

but you just need to figure that out in you but you cannot I don't know what like I don't know what conversations you've had you can articulate that that's more helpful that's different than having the fight about the fact that

she's in the room or I saw her on Instagram or whatever it is yeah I feel like when we walk into those rooms because you've done it again Yeah, because you've done it before, there is a small part of me that always thinks you could say that. That's a really, really good starting point to have a conversation. Then at least you can say something productive. And he can give you reassurance rather than just like why you are at this again.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, good. Good work, babe. Good luck, babe. We love love. So go get it, sis. Get it, sis.

And as the queen of the trust no one club, you can overcome this. I promise you. Amen. Right. Let's have a voice note. Hi ladies, I've got a bit of her story or dilemma that I would like a bit of advice on on how to go forward. Basically, met this boy, it was obviously into each other, you know, quite a casual thing, I'd say. Not really too intense.

We both seem very chill about the situation. Ended up sleeping together the third time we met, like we went home together. And we slept together three times in one night. And each time... Could not. Lasted maybe 30 seconds at a push. Don't love that. I kind of thought, oh, it was just getting started.

Great. Before I could even get into it, it was over. And I thought, okay, fair enough. Give him a second chance. Fair enough. He came round to mine maybe a week or two later. And then, so we ended up getting together, and he was fingering me. Maybe for about 10 minutes.

And then he says, your moanings made me calm. And very mind, I have not touched him whatsoever anywhere. the boxes are still on and I have kept my hands to myself and he's already calm. We both kind of acted like nothing had happened. He kind of just was like, oh, okay, we'll go to bed now. And then we haven't spoken about it. And I don't know how to bring it up without, is it something that I can bring up? I do kind of, I'm kind of confused.

And is he so into me that this has happened? Is this just a mishap? or is he like not into me and he doesn't want to get with me? Like, and also bearing in mind that this is quite a casual situation that is this a deal breaker? This isn't good enough. But then it's also like fair enough. Let's not be shameful.

But yeah, that's my story. Sorry, can I just say, I love the shit that girls talk about more about. I love us. We are brilliant. You think boys are going home and having these conversations? There's no way. No, no, there's no way. I love you, babe.

Right. Actually, many thoughts, believe it or not. Me too. So, key thing here is that it's a casual situation. Operative word being casual. Yes. Because this is not, no, bruno. Because what you're wanting, I'm guessing, from this is sex.

That's it. Full stop, period. So if the sex is not sex, really. Not delivering. Then do you need it? Is it well? 30 seconds of your time? I would argue.

No. I agree. Because I think there's other people that you can find to play with. Agree. And I don't think you even need to broach the subject with him because A, I think it's a delicate one.

Well, this is my other thing, is that, like, this situation, yeah, it's delicate and it's, it has to be treated with care and compassion. And you have to have a certain level of, like, communication to be able to have that kind of conversation with someone. And it has to be really worth it. Yes.

Because like it is an uncomfortable topic. And you don't need to make him feel, as you say, shameful, any kind of way because you're trying to get your kicks when actually your kicks might not even be there to have. And it might not be worth the time you might need to put in to develop that. I agree. In order to get those kids. Do you know what I mean? Yeah.

I think it's like such kudos to you. Agree. I think all you should do really. here is just dine out on the fact that you didn't even have to touch him. And he came in his knickers. Like, you are that hot. Do you know what I mean? Amazing. Can you send us a voice note of you moaning just so we can all understand what you're doing because the girls need to know. Can't believe he was added for 10 minutes. That's also, you know, quite a mean feat. My main question is, how does you know it was 10 minutes? She's counting. She's not engaged. She's thinking 30 seconds here, 10 minutes there.

It's not adding up. Maybe he's like really, fit and you like him and you want it to be good. But I do sometimes think we have a bit of an issue with falling for potential all of us. Good. And I wonder whether this is one of them. Like you're just thinking, oh, but it just has the potential to be so good. And like, maybe it's just not.

And maybe the kind of guy that you want to be with seeing as you're so, like, aware and open and whatever would probably address that. Well, I think it depends. Like, if you genuinely, like, from what this sounds like, you don't want anything with this man. No. But if you did. If you did, it would definitely be worth the conversation.

If you did, it would be worth it. But there's also no guarantee that the conversation will really have any impact. Well, you know, he's doing what he's doing. Do you what I mean? He's doing the best you can. He's just showing up. He's coming when he's coming. Do you know what I mean?

Don't hate the player. Don't hate the player. I hate the game. No, a workman is only as good as his tools. In this instance, the tools. The tool is. Eager. It's eager.

It's quick to finish. Possibly a little malfunctioning in this instance. You know. Depending on what you're into. Premature. Yes. Because some people might be thrilled for only 30 seconds of, you know. Me.

Penetration. This is Ali Mack's dream. Man, we finally found him. If anything else, did you? You didn't even have to touch him, babe. Do you have a fucking dream? No, babe. Give me his number.

If someone said 30 sex in and out, you'd be like, where do I sign on the dotted line? Where's the ring? Literally. Let's go to the courthouse now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got married yesterday to this man. It's not that it's a problem. That's what I'm saying.

It's only a problem for you. It's a problem for you. And that's fine. It can be. It's not a problem for some girls. Some girls are thinking 30 seconds music to my ears. Babe. I need you to just...

Hands off. Hands off. Automatic. Oh my God, I could literally... She's wanting to drive a manual, you want automatic. That's the only difference. Maybe you could look at this through a different then.

She's young. I know she's young. Amy, she got energy in the tank, you can put some TV on, get your red light mask on, let him do his business for 10 minutes, and it will be done, that'll be it, bish-mash-bush, in and out. You could get in the shower afterwards.

It's perfect. Oh my god. This is literally Al's kink. This is my kid. We found it. It's just not needing to touch then. It's speed efficiency and hands off. Yes.

Also, it sounded like you liked it. Like, you were like, oh, this is getting going. This is good. So it wasn't bad. It was just. It was just quit. It's heaven. Heaven.

You are living my dream. What is it? One man's rubbish is another man's get up. So I think drop him. Drop him. That's my advice. I think move on to the next. Find another.

Yeah, agree. I don't think it's worth the combo. The only reason I would feel, you know, maybe obliged to say something is for the next girl. Fair. Because if, you know, she's also not like me, seems a few and far between. Yeah. Then, you know, but, you know, it's his, the thing is, as well, he will know. Having spent time with, you know, the psyche of boys, he will know.

And it's really hard as well, because it's really mental and once it happens, once it happens every time. Also, I sometimes think, and I used to get so frustrated about them not, like, speaking about it. Because I'm like, if we talk about it, it'll be better. But I think for loads of them, they're like, if I say it, it's real. Yeah. So then they just, they ignore it. Yeah. And, like, they hope that you do too.

And I think it's okay. Like, in a relationship, obviously it needs to be a talking point. in this situation, I would just pack your bags and move on. I would too. Yeah. Back to the drawing board. I think so. Back to the streets.

Back on hinge. Yeah. Well, great. Thank you everyone for those messages. Now it is time for our favourite section, because it's new. The galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip. Okay.

We have got a DM from AI. Al. This guy. obsession with AI. You and AI. Babe, these are so sweet. They're like little caprice. No, no, they're not.

That's what's bothering me. Talk to you, bunchy bum. They're actually ankle length. I swear to God, I've never known a woman more keen to have one hand up her ass.

This girl has constantly got a hand picking out of wedgy. I've never known anything like it. No, and it was so funny because last night I didn't realize Tasha was driving that whole time and my hand was up. ass, yeah. Okay, we have got a DM from Al regarding G's date. Shut up. From episode

one. No. Titled, who's Al? Random person. I don't know. This is the episode, Red lights, frontal loads and pegging for the plot. I'm deceased. I've just read the start of this. I am dead. Oh my God, I'm dead. Go on Ruda. Okay. Oh my God. Is Six-seven's name? Yeah. Yeah, it is. I fear I also went on a date with this man early last year. Oh my fucking God. Oh my God. Sorry, but my real question is we didn't even give that many specifics.

How the fuck does she know? Six seven. Babe. Musician. This is what I'm saying about the girls. Sorry, six seven musician, babe. There were probably three thousand six seven musicians. The girls know.

That is fucking wild. She even said, I didn't get to see the red lights, sadly. So if she'd seen the red lights, I would understand. But how do you know that? I'm deceased. I didn't get to see the red light sadly,

but it makes complete sense that he would have them low. When you said he was singing a Katie Perry mashup, I was like, wait, this man sounds familiar. I'm dead. And then you said 6-7 and I was like, yep, we went to a cocktail bar

in Shortwich 2. We only went on one. Same one. It'll be the same one. 100% same one. We only went on one day, but man, he is way too ugly to be... I told you!

No! I told you! No! He's way too ugly to be acting like that much of a fuck boy, liking your friend's pick with you in it sent me dodged a bullet girl. Fucking. That is 10 out of turn.

I've thoroughly enjoyed that. Thank you babe. As if justice for Aliwak, I told you she said he was ugly. This girl, and she's also called Al, has said he is way too ugly to be acting like a fuck boy.

Now, I will never understand where these men find their confidence. Like, are they buying it on Amazon? I don't understand. Did he have a big willy? Yeah. But that's not enough. No, no, it's not. But, like, you know, I don't understand the male's ego. Maybe that's enough. I don't know.

They must be buying it somewhere. Like, taking it in pill form, injecting it into their veins. He's a musician. Musicians have that. People can play the guitar. I'm grade eight. Don't worry about it. Give me a classical guitar. I'll rock you a fucking Spanish anthem. Do you know what I mean?

God, that is, fuck. This is why the Gali Gullet is the best part of the podcast. Gallies, I also want you to know, do you know how many of us are dating all the same guys. It's hilarious. Babe, you need to be on that Facebook group. What's that Facebook group called? Did we date the same? Yeah, are we dating the same guy? Yeah.

I know. Because imagine how many people. Yeah. You never know. Brits guy might be on there too. Oh, I bet. I'm sure. Oh, I bet.

Oh, I bet. Oh, don't worry about that. I'm sorry about that. Oh, I'm sure that we will, you know, be sharing saliva across London. Wow. Wow. Thank you so much. If any of the other men I speak about on this podcast resonate with you,

please do get in touch. For the galley gossip, please send us a DM on Instagram and we will pick our favourites to add to our weekly galley gossip or you can actually send us a voice note to the WhatsApp number which is in the episode description. Okay, time for what we loved and didn't love from this episode. Love that I've had confirmation that, you know, he was not good enough. Loved G making her move on Mystery Man at the Brits.

Love DMing random strangers. because Tasha Gori did it and now look at her. She's on safaris in Namibia. Love Sharon Osbourne. Love. For stop. Yeah. Love.

Love having a good hair day. Good. Yours has stayed in very nicely, might I add. That's why I asked. Loose wave. Very good. Love, forgive and forget. Forgive.

Don't forget. Fine. Forgive, keep it in the back locker. Definitely, you know, just keep a ledger. Don't love. Short bursts of intercourse. Oh, yes. 30 seconds, not enough.

Don't love. circle back to love doing bits with no, you know, physical contact involved. Yeah, love being fingered for 10 minutes. Bring fingering back. 10 minutes being fingered. That's like being 15 again. Heaven. Love in and out sexual experience. Love a drive-by. Love fast food. Yeah. Didn't love self-sabotaging your relationship because of the past. Didn't love being heartbroken in the first place. Didn't love the fact that he had time for three girls on the fucking go. Didn't love that he's not, you know, giving his university education the respect it deserves.

Didn't love that because, you know, someone, you're paying guys alone, brother. Do you know that? I'm still paying mine back. So, you know, respect your time, respect your lecturer. She'll be out shagging three girls in a day. Oh, that's funny. Please let us know what you loved or hated in this air by commenting on Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you get your podcast. Please comment.

We love reading and they are so funny. So good. And don't forget if you've got a story or dilemma that only one, we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-6179792 or click the link in the episode description and it will take you right there. You can also send us an email if you prefer to write. We're not discriminatory. Hello at leave a messagepod.com. We love you. See you next week. Bye!