Leave A Message with Ally & G - The Neighbours Complained About Our S*x Noises… And Can You SNOG On a Hen?!

Episode Date: July 22, 2026

It has been an absolute whirlwind of a week for Ally and G as Ally is officially at the end of her tether with Ror’s forgetful lunchtime habits. Meanwhile, G has a hen do on the horizon, and she is holding absolutely nothing back when it comes to her incredibly strong opinions on those huns who insist on wearing wedges.PLUS, one Gally is left utterly mortified after discovering that her entire street has been getting a front-row seat to her doing the deed, while another Gally is struggling to deal with the fact her fella is watching porn without her consent. FANCY SENDING A VOICENOTE/MESSAGE GALLY? Send your voice note to: https://wa.me/message/UH4DASEKPFQBA1 ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (Oh, and don’t leave out ANY of the juicy details!)OR, you can write us email an on [e-mail] us at @leaveamessagepodcast on socials!Listen every Wednesday wherever you get your podcasts or watch on YouTube. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You've reached Leave a Message with me, Ali. And me, G. This is a podcast where we help the galleys in Neat. Whether you've never been invited on a hendoo because you have absolutely no mates. Or your lover refuses to peel off his compede before getting down to business. This is the podcast for you. Very niche there. Very niche.

Very niche. We've niched down. How are you, babe? I am okay. Oh, she's not in a good mood. My pit, I hate these, like, I get three days where it's like, my period is like toying with me. Yeah.

And I just think, oh, my fucking God, would you just hurry up now? Like, I'm irritable and I can't sleep. And as soon as that blood exit, it's my body, I'm like, oh, you'll be fine. Relief. Sweet fucking relief. Well, I've got no idea whether I'm coming or going. I'm trying to stick to your cycle. But at the moment I'm on a 56 day cycle.

When was your, you had a period? You had a period not so long ago. I did. That was three weeks ago. And that was exactly. So I'm thinking if I can have one now, then I'll cut the 56 day cycle in half. Let's just check. Are you both like natural period?

Like they just come. I've got the coil. I've got the coil. I've got the mint, like the small coil. So I do get, although it has taken me like four, five years to to get an actual normal cycle because I used to get 56 day cycles too.

Yeah, but now I think I'm sinking to Al. I'm not on anything. I'm just free bleeding at the moment, just trying my luck. But I only came off the pill in November.

So it's taken me a minute to get my cycle back. So I'm having the same thing where I can't tell whether I'm irritable because I'm having like a phantom cycle or I'm just like a cow. I don't really know the difference.

I actually feel okay today so I can be, you know, the jerky one. It's so weird because I get it as well. Like yesterday afternoon I thought, oh wow, no, I'm, I could honestly smash someone's faces. Babe, it's because you weren't hanging out with me. I don't think you should have days away from me. I've realised that.

You don't do well. You need a little hug. You do? You don't do well on your own. No, that's true, especially after a whole day of like rattling around on your own, I think. That was a proper one. Do you need another?

No, no, no, no, no. Is everyone okay? Everyone's eardrum's okay. Girlie's just checking in. No, very good. Let it out. I just like get to, I don't know whether it's because I was a lot. I don't know what it was.

Could you want with me? I know. I just was like, I need to smash something up. And when that happens, I think my, I'm 24 to 48 hours away from this period beginning. Fine. And then even more jarringly, then you open flow and it goes, period may start today. I'm like, yeah, I fucking know that. Tell me something I don't know.

I don't need you to tell me what my body's telling me. So I mean shit like that. I'll tell you one thing that really tipped me over the edge this morning. This morning? Yeah. So, right, this is really boring. God. Really boring.

I had a pee. I bought two pack of salmon on Friday night so I could have my salmon and peel our rice, right? Because he was out. That salmon is sat in the fridge all weekend because we've been out. We haven't eaten it. So I said Tim last night. The one piece or the two. One piece.

I said to him last night, should I cook it for you? So you can take it for lunch tomorrow. Yum. did that. Kind. Go into the kitchen this morning. It's been left out on the side overnight and he's not fucking taking it to work.

When I tell you, like, I could count on my hands a number of times he's remembered to take his lunch to work in nine years. And I just, I haven't texted me out because I actually need to check myself

before I fucking wrecked my relationship. Because it's not that deep. It's not deep. And also some things, sis. But what is actually wrong with you? It was literally, it was sitting there. I'm on the start and I even said to him before I went next to all to have a try.

So please, please put the salmon in the fucking fridge or the kitchen's going to stink a fish. I literally, babe, I walked in the morning. I saw that salmon and I thought, you know, I actually had this. You just put it under his side of the bed. Like this? threw it on the floor. No, I didn't. Do you know what I'm going to say to you?

What? Some things are not your problem. No, no. Well, it is my problem. It's not. It's your problem because you did it for him, but you did that anyway. that's a selfless act, kind, really good fiancéeing from you. I know.

It's his problem. Like, it's just, it's a him thing. I don't know why that irritates me so. I know. It is annoying. But like something, it's like when you, we say this all the time, some things you have to let be water off a duck's back and this might be one of them. No, no, hence why I haven't texted.

Well done. He's going to be like, what is actually wrong with you? Well, because it's like, is it the salmon or is it something else, you know? It's sounding like it's. No, no, it's the fact that it's every time. time. I will make like double dinner to purposely so he can take it to work.

Like fucking what this this literally happened last week. And Wos was with me. Yeah. And it was actually salmon again. It was a salmon fillet and some nice green salad. And I said,

raw, please do not forget. And Wals was like, no, he won't forget. Obviously Wals and I first thing in the morning open the fridge. Wars was like,

salmon is in the fridge. Salmon is in the fridge. I repeat, salmon is in the fridge. I don't know. just have to just, you know. Yeah, that one you just got to let go. I just got to let it go.

Let it go. I can't, like, you know, be that bothered about... I don't know, I just... I'm not even that pressed about wasting food in general, which is obviously bad. But when it's like something like that, it really gets under my skin. The actual, the more annoying thing is not the not taking it to work. It's the leaving it out so then he can't even have it tomorrow. Because, like, it would have been fine for tomorrow if it had been in the fridge.

Obviously. So, like, the actual more annoying thing is that he forgot to put it in the fridge. Did he realise it was his responsibility to put it in the fridge? explicitly said, do not leave the salmon out on the side, put the salmon in the fridge. But then why when you were saying that, didn't everyone just put the salmon in the fridge? That is probably. Like, you didn't want to do it. Was it a principal thing?

He said, no, no, no, I'll do it. I'll do it. This is why. And this is why, listen, this is why I have to do things myself because I just do it better than everyone else. And like, if you say you're going to do it, then fucking do it. I cannot handle. Like this is a blanket thing in my life. If you say you're going to do something, you better fucking do it.

But it's not for you. This is what I'm saying. If it was something for you that really affected you and impacted you, you can go to 10. But on this one, you don't need to mother him. You're not his mother. I mean, I do know that. That's why I know that my response is, you know, unwarranted. Thank you.

A little extreme. I do know that. Yeah. He's the one without his pat lunch today. Loser. Sucks to be him. Yeah. Exactly.

And you're not his mom. What are you going to do? the office and say, Rory forgot his lunch. No, no, I'm not. I'm not going to do that. You're not going to do that. Question, though, is he purposely not taking the lunch?

No. Have you ever thought about that? Have you ever thought that he doesn't want your sandwich? Because when he'll come home, oh yeah, he could be. No, no, he doesn't want the salmon because I know what that boy gets for lunch. He gets an M&S feast. Every single day. He wants to forget the lunch somewhere subconsciously, even if it's not on the surface.

So true. And he did actually, Rour does do a million things at once. So he did forget to put it. it in the fridge, which was, you know, booby. If he was in an office where the M&S feast wasn't on the take, like, and there's no jeopardy. Oh. He knows, no matter

what, I will have lunch provided for me. Yeah. I don't need that shit piece of salmon. I don't. He doesn't need it. He just doesn't need it. So he has left it. Anyway. Well, I'm glad that we could be a space for you to, you know, air your grievances so that you don't take it and wrecking all your relationship over salmon,

over a bloody fillet of salmon. Because I tell you what, life's too short. Sister. Guys, at 90 when someone asked me, what do you think is the key to a healthy relationship, I will say? It is having somewhere else to put your moaning. I genuinely do think that.

Yeah, I agree. I genuinely agree. Find somewhere else to put it so you're not bitching at them all the fucking time. You have to pick your battles. With all of it. Also, it is hard to do that because like, especially if you're someone like,

you know, that gets easily irritated like me, It's hard Especially in the moment Like I haven't I could honestly launch into I don't want this to be a hate campaign But there are so many things I've kept my tongue

My mouth shut for this week And I think You're testing me now You're really testing me now Perhaps he has his own list No no he This is the problem I hate to say it

No no no This is the problem I know he does And we're both holding our tongues For each other So fine So great Yeah

Yeah There is a pile of recycling In the middle of my kitchen It's like his job His job That's obviously his job I have not said a thing. Because mainly it's your recycling.

And that's why. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, listen, it is mainly his laundry that I'm doing. Fucking week and weekend. The amount of shirts in their house, I do think Al could, you know, get a reward. Thank you.

Or, like, you know, be mistaken for a 1960s housewife when all of those shirts are hanging, hanging, hanging. Yes. No, listen, that's, it's give and take in a relationship. Also, I'm really trying to live and die by it. It's not that fucking deep because it's not. It's not that deep. And I've spent my whole life making that shit important.

And I'm not doing it anymore. It's so boring and it's so like it traps you. You've got to live and let love. Do you know what I mean? You just got to let it go. Yeah. Because you don't want to be on your deathbed thinking about it. No.

You want to say God I had a lovely time. I agree. And I was loved and I loved. And that is all there is too. And I made 365,000 packed lunches that never got eaten. And it was the thought that counted. It was the thought that counted. It's not about the salmon.

That's the thing. I agree. It's about the act. Come on, sister. We're doing God's work out here. This is brilliant. We're enlightened. We're bleeding and we're enlightened.

Hallelujah. Hallelujah. I best spend some time with you once you start having a period because I would like mine to come. No, no, that's fine. Easily. Yeah. Easily.

Easily. Well, you want it this week do you, babe. You're going on a hen do. Right, tell us how you're feeling about the hen. I am ready. I've started packing. I've got my outfits on the way. Guys, one thing you need to know about, G, she will honestly pack for a holiday a month before. It's fucking, and I will do it two days before. Yeah. It's mental. I will, well, actually, there's a system and the system works. I don't pack pack a month before, but.

It's piles. A week before I will do piles, of course I will. I will do my piles and I will do it outfit by outfit because I don't like to do. do it like tops, bottoms, because I like to know what goes before. No, no, no, I agree. I agree. And then I'll probably get my suitcase down two to three working days before the holly bobs. That's okay. That's allowed. And then I will the day before put everything in. Check, I've got all my bits and bobs. And I'll be on my way to get work. I actually can't wait. I think it's going to be really fun. I think it's a good group of girls. I know most of them. There's only two girls I don't know. Are you checking in your bag? Yeah. I'm checking in a bag. Lots of them aren't bothering.

I thought, well, I'll pack options for you then, sisters. Is it heels, vibes? I'm going to do the kitten. I'm going to do the gold-tail-in-kitten. Yeah, okay. Someone's packed a wedge. One of the girls in the group chat, a bloody wedge. I actually fucking rate a wedge.

Fair play. You can honestly do all night in a wedge. I probably am not going to be caught dead in a wedge, but I respect it for people that do like a wedge. Because maybe you've only worn fugly wedges. There are some cool wedges out there now. I've never seen a wedge that isn't fuggly. And I don't mind that because I also wear fugly things.

Like those yellow jorts I own, fugly. I don't, I like, it's not about the fuggliness. I think those with the wedge would be so cunty. Yeah, I kind of know what you mean? Like, so fuggly that it's good. Yeah. So fugly that it looks like you've done it on purpose. That's what I think about those stupid little glasses,

those me, me, me glasses that like everyone was like... The square, the Anastasia ones. Yeah. Yeah. But there are not sunglasses, the glasses. Oh, yes, yes. They are so fuggly that everyone's decided that they're cool. Yeah, like my Jimmy Fairly ones.

Thank you. They are fugly. Yeah, they are fugly. I look fugly then. Oh my God, babe. The other day, sorry. After I went to Bistam, my friend was DMing me, my friend, my family friend. My friend, you don't know them.

Was deeming me about the sunglasses anyway. She goes, oh, I really want the clear mu-mu-glasses. Wait, this is really funny because, you know, when you're, like, texting someone, but, like, the messages are delivering all at the wrong time and then they say something that they can't do that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, so she went, hold on, sorry. Because you said you loved them and she said they were funny. No, no, she said I really want the, um, the clear muamu wrap around glasses.

Yes. And then she wants, I have. Right. But then before I, before my message had sent that said, oh yeah, G has those. She has those. She had already said, but they give basic bitch. And then she tried to like, and then my message sent. And she was like, oh, ha ha ha ha ha.

But G's not a basic bitch. That's really good. And I said, don't worry, babe. Don't worry. Don't worry. I would like to be a bit more basic bitch. I appreciate that. Sometimes I'm a bit of vanguard.

I like to come into my basic bits sometimes. I like those C3MU me ones, basic bitch though. I said, but my message hasn't said, I said, G has said they look so good on her. I definitely can't pull them off. And then immediately, oh my gosh, but she's not a basic bitch. She's a cool gal. I said, nah, but they are basic bitch sunnies, which they are.

Are they? I think everyone has. them. Yeah, fine. Well... And then she really tried to put it back. She said, I've never met her, but I feel like I have. That's why you're a good duo. You have different vibes, different face shapes.

Face shapes. Some of them are the thin ones and then I've got the thicker ones. No, no, you've got the thin ones. Oh, I've got the thin ones. Oh, right. Sorry. No, no. I think they're really cool. Don't get me wrong. I think they're a slave.

No, I don't mind basic bit. Look at me. I could be a bit more basic bitch. I agree. I'm glad to be a bit more basic bitch. Wedge. get a wedge on. All right, well maybe I will buy a wedge for the hen. Fuck it. I'm ready to hang it up.

Do you used to have a wedge? I don't know about that. Oh, no, I know. It's because we tried on those wedges to go to Love Island. And they were giving Karen from the Midlands. Not that there's anything wrong with Karen from the Midlands, but it's not really the aesthetic we're trying to go for. Also, like, I famously can just look like a 50-year-old woman.

Like me and Joanna Lumley are like separated at births on times. Okay Joanna Lumley's not 50. So you know, you've done yourself nice there. Okay, Joanna Lumley in Amphab. Okay, fine. Like back in the day. Okay, fine. But still middle aged.

I don't think you do give middle age. I don't give middle age if I don't wear wedges. And that is why I stay away. That is a fair point. From a wedge. Because I could look dowdy. And I don't want to look dowdy. I'm trying to get laid.

I agree. It's the, you've got a. have the cork wedge. Yeah, I have a clog wedge. Oh, a clock wedge. A wooden. Zara made some Yeah. Clug wedge. I don't know that I know what that is. I genuinely. Let me show you. I actually made some really good ones last year. Let me show. And I never bought them when I should have. They're like brown. I think they're cool. Also, guys, I need to, this is not an ad. If you want to try it out, go on Vinted and buy a pair for like a tenor. Yes. Like genuinely, it's a great idea. my life because if you just want to like test something out. And it's not fast fashion.

Yeah. So then you don't feel guilty. Kind of like that but like a lighter brown here. Oh yes. You don't have to pretend they're cool but I quite like that. No, no. They are cool. Those are cool. The cork wedge is the thing that makes me a little nervous. Or God forbid the Rafia wedge.

Oh no, no, no. The woven wedge. No. That I'm going to struggle with. Oh no, that. Cork. Cork is like a halfway house, I guess, between the cool clog, the Rafi. Guys, I have to then, I have to make a confession here.

I did have to wear a Raffia wedge at a wedding. Well, because a wedding is difficult, you can't wear a soleto. No, but I then following that, did wear a selector because I thought, God fucking forbid anyone ever takes a picture of me in these wedges. You need a chunky heel at a wedding. I agree. Those ones we got, where are they from?

The silver and gold, Abba ones. The Abo ones. Oh, from Terry de Haveland. Thank you. But, oh, yeah, even then. Because they're thick. So you're not going to. falling grass.

You need cheap shoes at a wedding. Yeah, true. Honestly. But not blister shoes. Or you need shoes that you've really worn in. Agree. But no, I'm excited. Guys, I actually did have a question about hens.

I think I'm like maybe one of the only single girls going. Maybe there's like two of us. Can you snog? Can you snog on a hen? Obviously yes. But you can't leave the hen party, can you? You can't go home with someone now. You can like give your number out and have a little bit of attention.

Can you? Oh my God. I forgot to put an earring in. Oh my God. My earlobe is naked. Wait. This is embarrassing. Just the right one.

Both. Both. Oh, that's fine then. I think that's kind of cool. I look so weird. I know it. Do I look weird, guys? If you're listening, don't worry about this.

If you can see me. Sorry, I look weird. You don't know weird. Okay. Can you snog? Right, give me the circumstarts. I think it's circumstantial. For example, it's the night out.

It's the Saturday night of the hen. You're going out out. Clubbing. I don't know where. I don't know what. Maybe it's bars. Maybe it's clubbing. Maybe it's clubbing.

I don't know. Right. I'm not in charge of the island. it's out. You're dressed up. You've got, you're getting attention because you're all in your costume or whatever the hell. Your dress code. Some boys come over. They're like, it's a hendoo. Let us buy you drinks. Can I like beeline for a fit one? Yes. Or do I have to stay with the galleys? Okay. I think you can you can definitely beeline, snog, you know, do as you, please, to be honest. Really? Within reason, I think you can't deserve. 30 minutes? Yeah.

I think you can't desert them the whole night. 30 minutes. I mean, that's a piss break in a fucking club. You could go for like a sick and a snog. Definitely allowed. But then you've got a circle back. Then it's a number and it's back to the girls. If you're there for an extended,

like, you know if you're like out for like eight hours, you could maybe do that a couple times. Fine. But you've got to go home with the girls. Yeah, I agree. I agree. And you can't be then like texting them. No.

Oh, they're doing this. Oh no, no. Yeah, no. Hate that. But definitely you can, yeah, crack on. Yeah. So I could crack on but give myself a bit of a time limit for cracking on. Also, this is a good thing.

You're going to be in a big group. Exactly. They won't even notice. They might not notice if I slink away. Also, you're not even right there's a day. She honestly won't even know. She won't even know. Also, sometimes you come back with more vengeance because you got a bit peppering.

I agree. You've had a tongue in your mouth. I agree. You're a bit like, come on now. Games changed now. Games changed. Yeah. Yeah, I think it's allowed.

Okay, cool. You just have to be mindful. Because it's difficult because at a wedding is the single person. Everyone wants you to pull because everyone wants the goss. Obviously. It's two single people that fancy each other a wedding. Everyone wants you to shag. And I've only done that once.

I have done that once and I did sleep with the bride's brother. And I loved him, the brother. But then he went to Thailand the next day. So sometimes. Weddings allowed, obviously. Weddings. No, everyone wants you to do it. Yes.

Encourage. Exactly. Yes. So, you know, watch out. It's different. But it's different at a wedding than a hen because with a hen. No, a hen is for the girls. Yes, I know.

I just thought, you know, if I'm in, thank you, Italy. and I'm feeling a little, you know, tanned, and there's some sexy boys. I just wondered whether I have to avert my eyes or whether I can indeed. No, no, no, no need to avert anything. Fine. Fine. The problem with Italian boys, guys, do you want to know a story? Go on.

When my first boyfriend broke my heart, I went to Italy for four months because I was learning Italian and I went with my best friend at the time and we got this tiny flat in Florence and she went to like do an art course and I went to do an art course and I went to do Italian course. Anyway, I went on a date, a full date. With an Italian boy. With this guy who worked in the fucking gelato shop. Sexie. That was like just like at the bottom of our flat. He didn't, when I say babe, he couldn't even say hello. He did not speak a single word. Language of love. And I at that time actually was quite good at Italian. There's something about them that I know like objectively they're sexy. They're actually not very like. I'm actually looking for English boys

on holiday. No, no, no, it's fair. Rather than. But you don't know. Don't waste your time. You might find an Italian. Nah, see, that's what you might. I think you've got to go in with like, this is just for the weekend.

Oh, fine. Well, you're looking for a husband in fucking Palermo? Yeah, yeah, I'm opening my eyes everywhere I go at the moment because I am open and receiving. Okay, open and receiving, but also like, let's not hone in a husband. Let's just. No, no, but on like, at least someone I'd give my number to and not have to travel via easy jet to get to. You might just have one snog with a fit. Italian.

Okay, I could do that too. That would all be good. But I feel like that's less, sorry, this is becoming a whole segment in itself. That's less bad. That, no, I think that is pointless. You're not allowed to leave the group for that.

Don't agree. You can't leave the group for a stupid snog. Don't agree. I think that is fucking gags. I think you can leave the group. I went on my friend's hen and I snogged in Italian. Funny.

Okay, fine. That's allowed. Okay, well I'll let you know, girlies. You can join us in part two for your galley messages. Okay, galleys, welcome back. Let's hear our first voice note. Hey, galleys. I love the podcast. Love that you create such a fun, safe space for the galleys. So me and my partner, we moved to Sydney just over a month ago. Today, I was coming back from the gym, making my way up the stairs to my flat door.

And the girl in the flat directly next to us was coming out. I've not met her before. She was on the phone so I just gave her a big smile and carried on to my door. She then said to her mum on the phone, Mum, I'm going to have to call you back and came right up to me. And she then said, I can hear you and your partner having sex. It's really loud. The walls are really thin. Keeping me up at night. I just sort of said, sure, those good, thanks. Carried on into my apartment mortified, you know, shut the door. absolutely mortified. Call my partner. He obviously found it hilarious.

I thought it was really out of order for her to say that I don't know where I stand. I think we're not having sex past 10 o'clock, maybe having slightly more sex at the moment because we are in a new exciting place. I get it if it was disturbing her and she felt like she'd say something, but it was the first time we'd ever interacted. The way she said it, she was quite aggressive with it. should we stop having sex as much, as loudly? Do we do it in different rooms? Do we not think about it again? Do we not give it another thought?

I am mortified and would love to hear your thoughts. Wow, fascinating. Wow, that's really good. I've got many thoughts. Me too. I think it's just part and parcel of living in flats. Genuinely I do. I, to an extent, I think if it's been raised,

I think you have to be a little bit mindful because I have been in a position where in my old house my bedroom was back to back with someone else's bedroom and the wall was worth it and it wasn't even a flat like we were like in two

like it was like a terraced house and it was fucking jarring because it was like lay early loud all the time so I can I can sympathise and I think like you don't

Don't get me wrong. Never, definitely don't stop having sex. Don't dull your life. But you can have quiet sex or quieter. Or in a different room. Like there are ways around it. Listen, I'm not saying never ever have loud sex in that room ever again.

It's so hard because like you want to kind of be able to live. Like you obviously want to be mindful of your neighbours. And I love babe that you said about the past 10pm because that's the thing, isn't it? Like there are noise curfews that we all try and adhere to. and that's our kind of like our, you know, neighborly duty, if you will. I think sex is such a funny one

because it technically can be quiet. I don't know whether you're making actual audible noise or whether it is just your bed frame. True. My neighbour above me, I would be able to hear him when he was having sex,

but I could only hear the bed and I just kind of think, like what's he to do? Like every time be like a teenage boy trying to hold the wall. Or just pull the bed out an inch. Yeah, you could try and pull. Pull the bed out.

That's a great hat. Like I think there are ways around it basically. Yeah. But like just basically shuts. Because the worst thing is like don't get me wrong. Like you could have just ignore it. But if she's an aggie cow and she comes back again, then it's like, well, also she said it now. So now every time you're shagging, you're going to be thinking, God, she's listening.

Do you know what I mean? And that's not sexy either. So maybe, yeah, move the bed. Yeah. And if you do want to, you know, bono and grow. Sex on the floor. floor. Love sex on the floor. Against the wall. Stand. Good for the quads.

Put some music on maybe. She might prefer the music and the animalistic grunting. I don't know what you're doing. Clearly it's great. It is really difficult because obviously you should be mindful of your neighbours. But at the same time, I think I have it a bit with nudity. Like, holes always like tells me off. Oh my lips. I'm just saying my lips should walk around butt naked. But naked. I really stand by the fact that I should be able to be butt naked in my house,

whether people on look me or not. I genuinely believe in that. It's my house. I pay a lot of money to live there and I think I should be able to have my kit off if I so wish. But at the same time, there's things I can do

to maybe help the fact that... Like, for example, you know our bathroom. There's a window directly opposite our bathroom. I do now close the door when I'm showering. I didn't used to. Now I do. Yeah. To be mindful of the fact

that potentially my neighbour could walk pass and see me having a shower, which maybe they don't want to do. So that's something that I could do to like eradicate it. Do you know what I mean? So maybe there are like... Well, it's hard as well because the nudity is a good example of like if my neighbour saw me naked I could give a fuck. Whereas rule would care.

Yeah. If someone's... So like he would take the steps to... Exactly. For him to not. Like so if you don't care. But I wouldn't care if someone heard me having sex but I would care that they care. But then I would care.

No, no. But I wouldn't care until like now that she said it, now I'm conscious of it. Yeah. That now would make me care. Yeah. Oh, that's really like, I don't need that. Yeah. I don't need to, like, it's one thing to know it and then there's another thing to know it.

And to be told. Yeah. It's a bit like you can get away with anything, like you can get away with murder, really. Like, you can play your music late. You can do whatever you want until your neighbours can play. I agree. I agree. Then you kind of become a bit of a dick if you're still doing that, like late at night.

Do you know what I mean? So, like, yeah, you basically, if you can take some precaution without stifling your sex life, because fuck that on behalf of. this woman, but maybe there are some steps that you could take that might make it a little bit better for her. Bold from her. It must have been really getting on her tits. It's the same though. It's like, you know, if you have a neighbour like that walks around in the middle of the night, like really, like if you've got those kinds of horrible, like it's all the same. I'm like, it's a jarring that this instance is sex. Yeah. It is all the fucking same. And everyone does have to live.

Or like if your neighbour has a newborn baby, like we had a baby next door, I'm not going to tell that baby to stop crying. Yeah. It's jarring as hell, but that is where we live. And, you know, So one day, maybe we'll all be able to afford detached houses and we won't have to deal with this. But whilst we're living in flats, there's some like stuff that you just have to accept. So once you've done all the things you can try to do at least next time you bump into her, you can be like, oh well, babe, we did move the bed away from the wall. And, you know, I have screamed a little less on orgasm because of you. So I hope that helps. Okay. It is now time for an email.

Yeah, get it, emailers. Hi, galleys. I don't know what that was. First off, I just want to say how much I love the pod. I've been a fan since the drive three days. Love. An OG. Basically, I have a real issue with my partner watching porn.

We love this. It stems from previous relationships where it became a problem, so it's something I really struggle with. My boyfriend knows exactly how I feel about it, but I've caught him watching porn on a few occasions. Every time I've explained why it upsets me so much. It makes me feel disrespected, like I'm not enough, and like I'll never compare to the girls he's watching.

His response is always that it's just an urge and that he's not focused on the girls, it's the act itself. That doesn't really make me feel any better. He always apologises and promises it won't happen again. Recently, though, I actually caught him in the act. Ruddy. I'd been downstairs, washing up, came upstairs, and there he was doing the business.

Fucking hell, taking liberties, king? Yeah, well, she's doing the washing up. You're on town duty, brother. Not tossing yourself off. Fucking hell. I genuinely wanted the ground to swallow me up. We spoke about it afterwards. I wouldn't want the ground to swallow.

I smash his face in. I'm like, brother, do you know, I'm putting a shift in down there. Brother, you're on drying. You're stupid prick. What are you doing here? Pack that's happened. We spoke about it afterwards and it was the same conversation all over again. I told him I don't think he's actually sorry because if he was, he wouldn't keep doing it.

As soon as I say that, he gets defensive. The thing is, I don't know. apart from this, our relationship is amazing. I've never been happier or felt safer with someone. But how do I move past something that keeps happening? Do I trust him when he says he won't do it again? Am I insane for not being okay with him watching porn or should I just get over it? It doesn't happen all the time, but I don't feel like it has to for it to hurt me. We both agree. We have a healthy sex life. So I'm just feeling really stuck. Love you girls. I feel like I have many, many thoughts. I have many, many thoughts. Do you want to start? I personally think,

really hard. I think I think they're kind of two separate things because I think like objectively a person, man or woman watching porn in a relationship on the occasion is okay. I genuinely do believe that. I think it is not a reflection. If it is not like, you know, incessant and it is not affecting your, it's not replacing your sex life. I really believe there is nothing wrong with like, a little bit of creative inspiration elsewhere.

Agreed. And also I think it's naive to pretend like we're only going to be attracted to one person and one thing for the rest of our entire lives. Like that's just not reality. I think it's arguably actually quite healthy for someone to express that in a way that is, you know, themselves and their laptop

rather than themselves and like fucking someone else. Yeah. That is separate to the fact that it affects you and like that you have a direct response and maybe have some past trauma from that because it is directed, like if you didn't have that essentially, I think... Well, I think it would only then affect you

if it was affecting your sex life together because, like, I think that he's right about the fact that he's not looking at the other girls and thinking, God, I fancy them more than my girlfriend. I agree. I don't think it should impact your kind of like self-esteem. I don't think that's what it is. And I think that also are two different things of like,

one is the actual... feeling toward porn in general and how it can affect someone and distort someone's kind of like imagination and desensitize people. Like having an opinion about that and feeling like it's bad for your partner is different to you feeling like

it's almost like an act of adultery. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Because she's looking at it as if it's like against her. Well, you're looking at it as like, yeah, as like me v porn. Yes. And I'm not sure it is me v porn.

I don't think it's ever genuinely, unless it is. Unless it is, porn is replacing you in the bedroom. Then there's a conversation to be housed. That is different. That's very different. But I think porn when you're young is different to when you're old. I really do think that because I think if you're in a relationship and someone is watching

porn, I don't know, when you're on a holiday for two weeks or like when you're, don't get me wrong, when you're fucking washing the dishes is mad to me. Yeah, like there might be some boundaries about wild. Yeah. But I think sometimes it's like, you know, supplementary material. Yeah. And also maybe understanding his, like, his desire for it might help you. Like, I know that you've had conversations and he's saying it's an urge and it's like, okay, well, when does an urge become a problem? Because you could put that against everything. Sometimes I have an urge for quite destructive behaviour. Sometimes I don't do it. Sometimes I feel like I need to. So it's like, what is the itch that he's trying to scratch? And is there something that you can do together to like help that? Because maybe, be like masturbation for him is different to sex with you and that is okay they can be two different things so I think it's just like understanding that and also deciding when for you it

becomes a problem yes because it's everyday porn and you've stopped having sex obviously that is a problem and that is not a healthy like relationship dynamic to have but if it is every now and again and all you really need is to understand what that urges from him, then maybe that will help you. And I really think you can take away the comparison because I don't think porn is real and I think any person with the brain cell knows that.

So I don't think he's looking at it as if that's a girl that he's going to like want to get with. That's not what porn is. Porn is just watching sex. The only thing is I will say is that like I find, if he's explaining it like it is an urge, then I'm like, is your urge not to just like have sex? Yeah, because I'm downstairs doing the dishes,

bend me over the sink. Yeah, exactly. So that is... But that's what I mean, like, what is it about porn that is different? Or like, maybe it's not even porn, maybe it's one king. I know, I genuinely think it's like doing it on your own. Maybe. Yeah.

And maybe it's just like a little release and like I want like that time. Like, do you know what I mean? Yeah. And like porn gets me there. But I don't know that. I'm not in his brain. So I think if you can understand that. I think there's a much wider conversation to be had, yeah.

And I think if you can, babe, it's so hard. But I think just to like pull his defences down, if when you approach the conversation with him again, make it not about you. Like, not about how it makes you feel, not about how it like your comparison, your past. Like, just for a second part that. I would frame it.

Like, I want to understand this. Yeah. So that I can, so that we can find a way for you to still do that without me feeling hurt. Exactly. Very well. said. Clip that up. Play that loud. You don't even have to say it, sis. Perfect. Get that on your notes. Maybe you could watch porn together one time. I don't know. Just a suggestion. I think as well maybe if you, I don't know what you're like you've, it comes from a previous relationship where it

became a problem. I think as well, because of what's happened, you've demonised the whole black whole of porn. And I think it's easy, like especially with porn actually because it is such a vast extreme and there's such a spectrum and a lot of people can be addicted to it that automatically you see him do that

and you're like tick he's in that black hole like it's like worst case scenario already like anyone does with anything that they've picked up from the past also there's so many variables because it's like what porn is he watching how often is he watching like do you know what I mean it's like

there's that you can have it's a spectrum basically and you've kind of, yeah, maybe we don't know the facts, but you need to see where he's on searching. I think let's find some facts, like some hard facts. What are you searching for, brother? Just checking. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? The problem is though, what are you going to do? If his kink is something. Yeah, like... But this is a thing, it's like you basically, like, we need to get to the point where you know enough so that you can make a decision. Because also at the same time, like everything, smoking, porn, drugs, sex, rock and roll,

whatever it is. you as the individual have to want to change that for yourself. If he doesn't want to watch porn, you can't do that just for you. Like, because it won't last. We won't do it. And that is something that you learn as you get older is that the nagging doesn't have.

You have to do it for you. You have to drink less because you have to go to the gym because you want to stop smoking because you want to. And like porn is probably quite similar to that. Well, I also think like even when he says like, I won't do it. He doesn't mean that. Of course, because he doesn't.

He doesn't want to do that. He's saying it to you because he knows that will make you feel better. But you have to be okay then. With staying with him and knowing that. And that will come from understanding what, his why, basically. Good luck, babe. Good luck, babe. Let's know how it goes.

It's now time for the galley gossip. It's time for the galley gossip. Do you want me to explain the galley gossip this week? Go on. This is the galley gossip. This is where you can do. DM us, voice note us, text us, hell, call us. Hell, call us. Hell. Hell. Call us.

Don't call us. Izzy won't answer. Don't ever call us. With any goss you've got, we want some hardcore, juicy, salacious goss. So this week, we've got a voice note from Nicole, who's accidentally found herself toe to toe with a foot fetish. shit. Hey, galleys. Love the podcast and love you guys. So following on from your discussion about foot fetches, I thought I would tell you about a boy I went to school with. It all started when we were about 16. I was getting messages from him on MSN and he would ask me to send him a picture

of my shoes because his girlfriend's at college and she's doing a textiles course or fashion course and she needed pictures of shoes. Bone of mind, he's got full access to the internet and could easily find shoes. And then it got a bit too much and he just kept asking. So I blocked him. And then it wasn't until a few years later, me and my friends would discuss him and how we would ask for pictures of our shoes. And then this is where my friend pipes up and says that she would give him her pair of

shoes for a lift. So if he offered lifts, he would pay him by giving him her shoes. So she would always go home without her shoes. And it always makes me laugh because I just want to know, like, what he did with those shoes. Like, will you wearing them? And what are you doing with them? Like, it just creeps me out, but it still makes me laugh. And the fact she took advantage of this fetish and ran with it and got a free left home, but did lose of her shoes.

Yeah, I just thought you guys might find that funny because I still find it funny now. Oh, my God. See, that's so good. So weird because it's like, what shoes aren't even, like. Maybe he was sniffing them. I'm sure. Like, 100%. He liked the worn in smell.

Thousand percent he was sniffing them. But like, there's only so many times you can sniff the place, an old pair of trainers. Or he might not. I don't know. Maybe it knows no limits. The scent that comes out of those shoes. I just think if you've got a foot, maybe you've got like a foot smell fetish. Yeah, but it's not a toe fetish.

It's a foot fetish. Yes. Yes. He could have been wearing the shoes. He could have been. genuinely quite invested in his girlfriend's textile project. You never know. I mean, I highly doubt that. What did he do with them all? I love that these girls, the image of these girls getting out of his little light coarser, barefoot, because he's sold in their shoes.

Like, to be fair, back in the day, I reckon I would have given someone a pair of my shoes for a lift. I'd have done anything for a lift. You would shake my head, no problem. Honestly, no problem. No problem for a lift, anything. Also, babe, can I just say you sound like you're from my neck of the woods. She sounds like Gloucester, girl. Gloucester. God love you. That's why she was giving her fucking shoes away for free. Yeah, because it's a middle of fucking nowhere, and the only way to get around is to get a lift in a weird guy's car and to leave him your shoes. What do I think about the people I've had lifts off?

The thing is as well that's actually so fucked is I actually was in London and I was getting lifts. Where were you getting lifts? Where wasn't I getting lifts? Do you know what I mean? There was always a place to be. I look back at those times, I think, how did you feel your days? I always had somewhere to be. Oh, come on.

Always. Life was long. 151 on the King's Road. fucking big up. I know some girls that are listening will know about the glory days of 151. Glory days, hey. Long are they gone.

Okay, if you want to be involved and get next week's galley gossip, send us a DM on Insta or drop us a comment on YouTube or Spotify to be featured. If you've got a story or dilemma that only we can help you with, then please send a voice note to our WhatsApp on 07342-617-792.

Or you can click the link in the episode description and it will take you right there. You can also send us an email at hello at leave a messagepod.com. Bye. Thanks for listening. Bye.